ROADS OF DESTINY BY O. HENRY
1919
contents
I.Roads of Destiny 2.The Guardian of the Accolade 3.The Discounters of Money 4.The Enchanted People 5.”Next to Reading Matter” 6.Art and the Bronco 7.Phoebe 8.A Double-dyed Deceiver 9.The Passing of Black Eagle 10.A Retrieved Reformation 11.Cherchez la Femme 12.Friends in San Rosario 13.The Fourth in Salvador 14.The Emancipation of Billy 15.The Enchanted Kiss 16.A Departmental Case 17.The Renaissance at Charleroi 18.On Behalf of the Management 19.Whistling Dick’s Chrismas Stocking 20.The Halberdier of the Little Rheinschloss 21.Two Renegades 22.The Lonesome Road
I.ROADS OF DESTINY
I go to seek on many roads
What is to be.
True heart and strong, with love to light—
Will they not bear me in the fight
To order, shun or wield or mould
My Destiny?
Unpublished Poems of David Mignot.
The song was over. The
words were David's; the air, one of the countryside. The company about the inn
table applauded heartily, for the young poet paid for the wine. Only the
notary, M. Papineau, shook his head a little at the lines, for he was a man of
books, and he had not drunk with the rest.
David went out into the
village street, where the night air drove the wine vapour from his head. And
then he remembered that he and Yvonne had quarrelled that day, and that he had
resolved to leave his home that night to seek fame and honour in the great
world outside.
"When my poems are
on every man's tongue," he told himself, in a fine exhilaration, "she
will, perhaps, think of the hard words she spoke this day."
Except the roisterers in
the tavern, the village folk were abed. David crept softly into his room in the
shed of his father's cottage and made a bundle of his small store of clothing.
With this upon a staff, he set his face outward upon the road that ran from
Vernoy.
He passed his father's
herd of sheep, huddled in their nightly pen—the sheep he herded daily, leaving
them to scatter while he wrote verses on scraps of paper. He saw a light yet
shining in Yvonne's window, and a weakness shook his purpose of a sudden.
Perhaps that light meant that she rued, sleepless, her anger, and that morning
might—But, no! His decision was made. Vernoy was no place for him. Not one soul
there could share his thoughts. Out along that road lay his fate and his
future.
Three leagues across the
dim, moonlit champaign ran the road, straight as a ploughman's furrow. It was
believed in the village that the road ran to Paris, at least; and this name the
poet whispered often to himself as he walked. Never so far from Vernoy had
David travelled before.
THE LEFT BRANCH
Three leagues, then, the
road ran, and turned into a puzzle. It joined with another and a larger road at
right angles. David stood, uncertain, for a while, and then took the road to
the left.
Upon this more important
highway were, imprinted in the dust, wheel tracks left by the recent passage of
some vehicle. Some half an hour later these traces were verified by the sight
of a ponderous carriage mired in a little brook at the bottom of a steep hill.
The driver and postilions were shouting and tugging at the horses' bridles. On
the road at one side stood a huge, black-clothed man and a slender lady wrapped
in a long, light cloak.
David saw the lack of
skill in the efforts of the servants. He quietly assumed control of the work.
He directed the outriders to cease their clamour at the horses and to exercise
their strength upon the wheels. The driver alone urged the animals with his
familiar voice; David himself heaved a powerful shoulder at the rear of the
carriage, and with one harmonious tug the great vehicle rolled up on solid
ground. The outriders climbed to their places.
David stood for a moment
upon one foot. The huge gentleman waved a hand. "You will enter the
carriage," he said, in a voice large, like himself, but smoothed by art
and habit. Obedience belonged in the path of such a voice. Brief as was the
young poet's hesitation, it was cut shorter still by a renewal of the command.
David's foot went to the step. In the darkness he perceived dimly the form of
the lady upon the rear seat. He was about to seat himself opposite, when the
voice again swayed him to its will. "You will sit at the lady's
side."
The gentleman swung his
great weight to the forward seat. The carriage proceeded up the hill. The lady
was shrunk, silent, into her corner. David could not estimate whether she was
old or young, but a delicate, mild perfume from her clothes stirred his poet's
fancy to the belief that there was loveliness beneath the mystery. Here was an
adventure such as he had often imagined. But as yet he held no key to it, for
no word was spoken while he sat with his impenetrable companions.
In an hour's time David
perceived through the window that the vehicle traversed the street of some
town. Then it stopped in front of a closed and darkened house, and a postilion
alighted to hammer impatiently upon the door. A latticed window above flew wide
and a nightcapped head popped out.
"Who are ye that
disturb honest folk at this time of night? My house is closed. 'Tis too late
for profitable travellers to be abroad. Cease knocking at my door, and be
off."
"Open!"
spluttered the postilion, loudly; "open for Monsiegneur the Marquis de
Beaupertuys."
"Ah!" cried
the voice above. "Ten thousand pardons, my lord. I did not know—the hour
is so late—at once shall the door be opened, and the house placed at my lord's
disposal."
Inside was heard the
clink of chain and bar, and the door was flung open. Shivering with chill and
apprehension, the landlord of the Silver Flagon stood, half clad, candle in
hand, upon the threshold.
David followed the
Marquis out of the carriage. "Assist the lady," he was ordered. The
poet obeyed. He felt her small hand tremble as he guided her descent.
"Into the house," was the next command.
The room was the long
dining-hall of the tavern. A great oak table ran down its length. The huge
gentleman seated himself in a chair at the nearer end. The lady sank into
another against the wall, with an air of great weariness. David stood,
considering how best he might now take his leave and continue upon his way.
"My lord,"
said the landlord, bowing to the floor, "h-had I ex-expected this honour,
entertainment would have been ready. T-t-there is wine and cold fowl and
m-m-maybe—"
"Candles,"
said the marquis, spreading the fingers of one plump white hand in a gesture he
had.
"Y-yes, my
lord." He fetched half a dozen candles, lighted them, and set them upon
the table.
"If monsieur would,
perhaps, deign to taste a certain Burgundy—there is a cask—"
"Candles,"
said monsieur, spreading his fingers.
"Assuredly—quickly—I
fly, my lord."
A dozen more lighted
candles shone in the hall. The great bulk of the marquis overflowed his chair.
He was dressed in fine black from head to foot save for the snowy ruffles at
his wrist and throat. Even the hilt and scabbard of his sword were black. His
expression was one of sneering pride. The ends of an upturned moustache reached
nearly to his mocking eyes.
The lady sat motionless,
and now David perceived that she was young, and possessed of pathetic and
appealing beauty. He was startled from the contemplation of her forlorn
loveliness by the booming voice of the marquis.
"What is your name
and pursuit?"
"David Mignot. I am
a poet."
The moustache of the
marquis curled nearer to his eyes.
"How do you
live?"
"I am also a
shepherd; I guarded my father's flock," David answered, with his head
high, but a flush upon his cheek.
"Then listen,
master shepherd and poet, to the fortune you have blundered upon to-night. This
lady is my niece, Mademoiselle Lucie de Varennes. She is of noble descent and
is possessed of ten thousand francs a year in her own right. As to her charms,
you have but to observe for yourself. If the inventory pleases your shepherd's
heart, she becomes your wife at a word. Do not interrupt me. To-night I
conveyed her to the château of the Comte de Villemaur, to whom
her hand had been promised. Guests were present; the priest was waiting; her
marriage to one eligible in rank and fortune was ready to be accomplished. At
the alter this demoiselle, so meek and dutiful, turned upon me like a
leopardess, charged me with cruelty and crimes, and broke, before the gaping
priest, the troth I had plighted for her. I swore there and then, by ten
thousand devils, that she should marry the first man we met after leaving
the château, be he prince, charcoal-burner, or thief. You,
shepherd, are the first. Mademoiselle must be wed this night. If not you, then
another. You have ten minutes in which to make your decision. Do not vex me
with words or questions. Ten minutes, shepherd; and they are speeding."
The marquis drummed
loudly with his white fingers upon the table. He sank into a veiled attitude of
waiting. It was as if some great house had shut its doors and windows against
approach. David would have spoken, but the huge man's bearing stopped his
tongue. Instead, he stood by the lady's chair and bowed.
"Mademoiselle,"
he said, and he marvelled to find his words flowing easily before so much
elegance and beauty. "You have heard me say I was a shepherd. I have also
had the fancy, at times, that I am a poet. If it be the test of a poet to adore
and cherish the beautiful, that fancy is now strengthened. Can I serve you in
any way, mademoiselle?"
The young woman looked
up at him with eyes dry and mournful. His frank, glowing face, made serious by
the gravity of the adventure, his strong, straight figure and the liquid
sympathy in his blue eyes, perhaps, also, her imminent need of long-denied help
and kindness, thawed her to sudden tears.
"Monsieur,"
she said, in low tones, "you look to be true and kind. He is my uncle, the
brother of my father, and my only relative. He loved my mother, and he hates me
because I am like her. He has made my life one long terror. I am afraid of his
very looks, and never before dared to disobey him. But to-night he would have
married me to a man three times my age. You will forgive me for bringing this
vexation upon you, monsieur. You will, of course, decline this mad act he tries
to force upon you. But let me thank you for your generous words, at least. I
have had none spoken to me in so long."
There was now something
more than generosity in the poet's eyes. Poet he must have been, for Yvonne was
forgotten; this fine, new loveliness held him with its freshness and grace. The
subtle perfume from her filled him with strange emotions. His tender look fell
warmly upon her. She leaned to it, thirstily.
"Ten minutes,"
said David, "is given me in which to do what I would devote years to
achieve. I will not say I pity you, mademoiselle; it would not be true—I love
you. I cannot ask love from you yet, but let me rescue you from this cruel man,
and, in time, love may come. I think I have a future; I will not always be a
shepherd. For the present I will cherish you with all my heart and make your
life less sad. Will you trust your fate to me, mademoiselle?"
"Ah, you would
sacrifice yourself from pity!"
"From love. The
time is almost up, mademoiselle."
"You will regret
it, and despise me."
"I will live only
to make you happy, and myself worthy of you."
Her fine small hand
crept into his from beneath her cloak.
"I will trust
you," she breathed, "with my life. And—and love—may not be so far off
as you think. Tell him. Once away from the power of his eyes I may
forget."
David went and stood
before the marquis. The black figure stirred, and the mocking eyes glanced at
the great hall clock.
"Two minutes to
spare. A shepherd requires eight minutes to decide whether he will accept a
bride of beauty and income! Speak up, shepherd, do you consent to become
mademoiselle's husband?"
"Mademoiselle,"
said David, standing proudly, "has done me the honour to yield to my
request that she become my wife."
"Well said!"
said the marquis. "You have yet the making of a courtier in you, master
shepherd. Mademoiselle could have drawn a worse prize, after all. And now to be
done with the affair as quick as the Church and the devil will allow!"
He struck the table
soundly with his sword hilt. The landlord came, knee-shaking, bringing more
candles in the hope of anticipating the great lord's whims. "Fetch a
priest," said the marquis, "a priest; do you understand? In ten
minutes have a priest here, or—"
The landlord dropped his
candles and flew.
The priest came,
heavy-eyed and ruffled. He made David Mignot and Lucie de Verennes man and
wife, pocketed a gold piece that the marquis tossed him, and shuffled out again
into the night.
"Wine,"
ordered the marquis, spreading his ominous fingers at the host.
"Fill
glasses," he said, when it was brought. He stood up at the head of the
table in the candlelight, a black mountain of venom and conceit, with something
like the memory of an old love turned to poison in his eyes, as it fell upon
his niece.
"Monsieur Mignot,"
he said, raising his wineglass, "drink after I say this to you: You have
taken to be your wife one who will make your life a foul and wretched thing.
The blood in her is an inheritance running black lies and red ruin. She will
bring you shame and anxiety. The devil that descended to her is there in her
eyes and skin and mouth that stoop even to beguile a peasant. There is your
promise, monsieur poet, for a happy life. Drink your wine. At last,
mademoiselle, I am rid of you."
The marquis drank. A
little grievous cry, as if from a sudden wound, came from the girl's lips.
David, with his glass in his hand, stepped forward three paces and faced the
marquis. There was little of a shepherd in his bearing.
"Just now," he
said, calmly, "you did me the honor to call me 'monsieur.' May I hope,
therefore that my marriage to mademoiselle has placed me somewhat nearer to you
in—let us say, reflected rank—has given me the right to stand more as an equal
to monseigneur in a certain little piece of business I have in my mind?"
"You may hope,
shepherd," sneered the marquis.
"Then," said
David, dashing his glass of wine into the contemptuous eyes that mocked him,
"perhaps you will condescend to fight me."
The fury of the great
lord outbroke in one sudden curse like a blast from a horn. He tore his sword
from its black sheath; he called to the hovering landlord: "A sword there,
for this lout!" He turned to the lady, with a laugh that chilled her
heart, and said: "You put much labour upon me, madame. It seems I must
find you a husband and make you a widow in the same night."
"I know not
sword-play," said David. He flushed to make the confession before his
lady.
"'I know not
sword-play,'" mimicked the marquis. "Shall we fight like peasants
with oaken cudgels? Hola! François, my pistols!"
A postilion brought two
shining great pistols ornamented with carven silver, from the carriage
holsters. The marquis tossed one upon the table near David's hand. "To the
other end of the table," he cried; "even a shepherd may pull a trigger.
Few of them attain the honour to die by the weapon of a De Beaupertuys."
The shepherd and the
marquis faced each other from the ends of the long table. The landlord, in an
ague of terror, clutched the air and stammered: "M-M-Monseigneur, for the
love of Christ! not in my house!—do not spill blood—it will ruin my
custom—" The look of the marquis, threatening him, paralyzed his tongue.
"Coward,"
cried the lord of Beaupertuys, "cease chattering your teeth long enough to
give the word for us, if you can."
Mine host's knees smote
the floor. He was without a vocabulary. Even sounds were beyond him. Still, by
gestures he seemed to beseech peace in the name of his house and custom.
"I will give the
word," said the lady, in a clear voice. She went up to David and kissed him
sweetly. Her eyes were sparkling bright, and colour had come to her cheek. She
stood against the wall, and the two men levelled their pistols for her count.
"Un—deux—trois!"
The two reports came so
nearly together that the candles flickered but once. The marquis stood,
smiling, the fingers of his left hand resting, outspread, upon the end of the
table. David remained erect, and turned his head very slowly, searching for his
wife with his eyes. Then, as a garment falls from where it is hung, he sank, crumpled,
upon the floor.
With a little cry of
terror and despair, the widowed maid ran and stooped above him. She found his
wound, and then looked up with her old look of pale melancholy. "Through
his heart," she whispered. "Oh, his heart!"
"Come," boomed
the great voice of the marquis, "out with you to the carriage! Daybreak
shall not find you on my hands. Wed you shall be again, and to a living
husband, this night. The next we come upon, my lady, highwayman or peasant. If
the road yields no other, then the churl that opens my gates. Out with you into
the carriage!"
The marquis, implacable
and huge, the lady wrapped again in the mystery of her cloak, the postilion
bearing the weapons—all moved out to the waiting carriage. The sound of its
ponderous wheels rolling away echoed through the slumbering village. In the
hall of the Silver Flagon the distracted landlord wrung his hands above the
slain poet's body, while the flames of the four and twenty candles danced and
flickered on the table.
THE RIGHT BRANCH
Three leagues, then, the
road ran, and turned into a puzzle. It joined with another and a larger road at
right angles. David stood, uncertain, for a while, and then took the road to
the right.
Whither it led he knew
not, but he was resolved to leave Vernoy far behind that night. He travelled a
league and then passed a large château which showed testimony
of recent entertainment. Lights shone from every window; from the great stone
gateway ran a tracery of wheel tracks drawn in the dust by the vehicles of the
guests.
Three leagues farther
and David was weary. He rested and slept for a while on a bed of pine boughs at
the roadside. Then up and on again along the unknown way.
Thus for five days he
travelled the great road, sleeping upon Nature's balsamic beds or in peasants'
ricks, eating of their black, hospitable bread, drinking from streams or the
willing cup of the goatherd.
At length he crossed a
great bridge and set his foot within the smiling city that has crushed or
crowned more poets than all the rest of the world. His breath came quickly as
Paris sang to him in a little undertone her vital chant of greeting—the hum of
voice and foot and wheel.
High up under the eaves
of an old house in the Rue Conti, David paid for lodging, and set himself, in a
wooden chair, to his poems. The street, once sheltering citizens of import and
consequence, was now given over to those who ever follow in the wake of
decline.
The houses were tall and
still possessed of a ruined dignity, but many of them were empty save for dust
and the spider. By night there was the clash of steel and the cries of brawlers
straying restlessly from inn to inn. Where once gentility abode was now but a
rancid and rude incontinence. But here David found housing commensurate to his
scant purse. Daylight and candlelight found him at pen and paper.
One afternoon he was
returning from a foraging trip to the lower world, with bread and curds and a
bottle of thin wine. Halfway up his dark stairway he met—or rather came upon,
for she rested on the stair—a young woman of a beauty that should balk even the
justice of a poet's imagination. A loose, dark cloak, flung open, showed a rich
gown beneath. Her eyes changed swiftly with every little shade of thought.
Within one moment they would be round and artless like a child's, and long and
cozening like a gypsy's. One hand raised her gown, undraping a little shoe,
high-heeled, with its ribbons dangling, untied. So heavenly she was, so
unfitted to stoop, so qualified to charm and command! Perhaps she had seen David
coming, and had waited for his help there.
Ah, would monsieur
pardon that she occupied the stairway, but the shoe!—the naughty shoe! Alas! it
would not remain tied. Ah! if monsieur would be so gracious!
The poet's fingers
trembled as he tied the contrary ribbons. Then he would have fled from the
danger of her presence, but the eyes grew long and cozening, like a gypsy's,
and held him. He leaned against the balustrade, clutching his bottle of sour
wine.
"You have been so
good," she said, smiling. "Does monsieur, perhaps, live in the
house?"
"Yes, madame. I—I
think so, madame."
"Perhaps in the
third story, then?"
"No, madame; higher
up."
The lady fluttered her
fingers with the least possible gesture of impatience.
"Pardon. Certainly
I am not discreet in asking. Monsieur will forgive me? It is surely not
becoming that I should inquire where he lodges."
"Madame, do not say
so. I live in the—"
"No, no, no; do not
tell me. Now I see that I erred. But I cannot lose the interest I feel in this
house and all that is in it. Once it was my home. Often I come here but to
dream of those happy days again. Will you let that be my excuse?"
"Let me tell you,
then, for you need no excuse," stammered the poet. "I live in the top
floor—the small room where the stairs turn."
"In the front
room?" asked the lady, turning her head sidewise.
"The rear,
madame."
The lady sighed, as if
with relief.
"I will detain you
no longer then, monsieur," she said, employing the round and artless eye.
"Take good care of my house. Alas! only the memories of it are mine now.
Adieu, and accept my thanks for your courtesy."
She was gone, leaving
but a smile and a trace of sweet perfume. David climbed the stairs as one in
slumber. But he awoke from it, and the smile and the perfume lingered with him
and never afterward did either seem quite to leave him. This lady of whom he
knew nothing drove him to lyrics of eyes, chansons of swiftly conceived love,
odes to curling hair, and sonnets to slippers on slender feet.
Poet he must have been,
for Yvonne was forgotten; this fine, new loveliness held him with its freshness
and grace. The subtle perfume about her filled him with strange emotions.
On a certain night three
persons were gathered about a table in a room on the third floor of the same
house. Three chairs and the table and a lighted candle upon it was all the
furniture. One of the persons was a huge man, dressed in black. His expression
was one of sneering pride. The ends of his upturned moustache reached nearly to
his mocking eyes. Another was a lady, young and beautiful, with eyes that could
be round and artless, as a child's, or long and cozening, like a gypsy's, but
were now keen and ambitious, like any other conspirator's. The third was a man
of action, a combatant, a bold and impatient executive, breathing fire and
steel. He was addressed by the others as Captain Desrolles.
This man struck the
table with his fist, and said, with controlled violence:
"To-night. To-night
as he goes to midnight mass. I am tired of the plotting that gets nowhere. I am
sick of signals and ciphers and secret meetings and such baragouin.
Let us be honest traitors. If France is to be rid of him, let us kill in the
open, and not hunt with snares and traps. To-night, I say. I back my words. My
hand will do the deed. To-night, as he goes to mass."
The lady turned upon him
a cordial look. Woman, however wedded to plots, must ever thus bow to rash
courage. The big man stroked his upturned moustache.
"Dear
captain," he said, in a great voice, softened by habit, "this time I
agree with you. Nothing is to be gained by waiting. Enough of the palace guards
belong to us to make the endeavour a safe one."
"To-night,"
repeated Captain Desrolles, again striking the table. "You have heard me,
marquis; my hand will do the deed."
"But now," said
the huge man, softly, "comes a question. Word must be sent to our
partisans in the palace, and a signal agreed upon. Our stanchest men must
accompany the royal carriage. At this hour what messenger can penetrate so far
as the south doorway? Ribouet is stationed there; once a message is placed in
his hands, all will go well."
"I will send the
message," said the lady.
"You,
countess?" said the marquis, raising his eyebrows. "Your devotion is
great, we know, but—"
"Listen!"
exclaimed the lady, rising and resting her hands upon the table; "in a
garret of this house lives a youth from the provinces as guileless and tender
as the lambs he tended there. I have met him twice or thrice upon the stairs. I
questioned him, fearing that he might dwell too near the room in which we are
accustomed to meet. He is mine, if I will. He writes poems in his garret, and I
think he dreams of me. He will do what I say. He shall take the message to the
palace."
The marquis rose from
his chair and bowed. "You did not permit me to finish my sentence,
countess," he said. "I would have said: 'Your devotion is great, but
your wit and charm are infinitely greater.'"
While the conspirators
were thus engaged, David was polishing some lines addressed to his amorette
d'escalier. He heard a timorous knock at his door, and opened it, with a
great throb, to behold her there, panting as one in straits, with eyes wide
open and artless, like a child's.
"Monsieur,"
she breathed, "I come to you in distress. I believe you to be good and
true, and I know of no other help. How I flew through the streets among the
swaggering men! Monsieur, my mother is dying. My uncle is a captain of guards
in the palace of the king. Some one must fly to bring him. May I hope—"
"Mademoiselle,"
interrupted David, his eyes shining with the desire to do her service,
"your hopes shall be my wings. Tell me how I may reach him."
The lady thrust a sealed
paper into his hand.
"Go to the south
gate—the south gate, mind—and say to the guards there, 'The falcon has left his
nest.' They will pass you, and you will go to the south entrance to the palace.
Repeat the words, and give this letter to the man who will reply 'Let him
strike when he will.' This is the password, monsieur, entrusted to me by my
uncle, for now when the country is disturbed and men plot against the king's
life, no one without it can gain entrance to the palace grounds after
nightfall. If you will, monsieur, take him this letter so that my mother may
see him before she closes her eyes."
"Give it me,"
said David, eagerly. "But shall I let you return home through the streets
alone so late? I—"
"No, no—fly. Each
moment is like a precious jewel. Some time," said the lady, with eyes long
and cozening, like a gypsy's, "I will try to thank you for your
goodness."
The poet thrust the
letter into his breast, and bounded down the stairway. The lady, when he was
gone, returned to the room below.
The eloquent eyebrows of
the marquis interrogated her.
"He is gone,"
she said, "as fleet and stupid as one of his own sheep, to deliver it."
The table shook again
from the batter of Captain Desrolles's fist.
"Sacred name!"
he cried; "I have left my pistols behind! I can trust no others."
"Take this,"
said the marquis, drawing from beneath his cloak a shining, great weapon,
ornamented with carven silver. "There are none truer. But guard it
closely, for it bears my arms and crest, and already I am suspected. Me, I must
put many leagues between myself and Paris this night. To-morrow must find me in
my château. After you, dear countess."
The marquis puffed out
the candle. The lady, well cloaked, and the two gentlemen softly descended the
stairway and flowed into the crowd that roamed along the narrow pavements of
the Rue Conti.
David sped. At the south
gate of the king's residence a halberd was laid to his breast, but he turned
its point with the words; "The falcon has left his nest."
"Pass,
brother," said the guard, "and go quickly."
On the south steps of
the palace they moved to seize him, but again the mot de passe charmed
the watchers. One among them stepped forward and began: "Let him
strike—" but a flurry among the guards told of a surprise. A man of keen
look and soldierly stride suddenly pressed through them and seized the letter
which David held in his hand. "Come with me," he said, and led him
inside the great hall. Then he tore open the letter and read it. He beckoned to
a man uniformed as an officer of musketeers, who was passing. "Captain
Tetreau, you will have the guards at the south entrance and the south gate
arrested and confined. Place men known to be loyal in their places." To
David he said: "Come with me."
He conducted him through
a corridor and an anteroom into a spacious chamber, where a melancholy man,
sombrely dressed, sat brooding in a great, leather-covered chair. To that man
he said:
"Sire, I have told
you that the palace is as full of traitors and spies as a sewer is of rats. You
have thought, sire, that it was my fancy. This man penetrated to your very door
by their connivance. He bore a letter which I have intercepted. I have brought
him here that your majesty may no longer think my zeal excessive."
"I will question
him," said the king, stirring in his chair. He looked at David with heavy
eyes dulled by an opaque film. The poet bent his knee.
"From where do you
come?" asked the king.
"From the village
of Vernoy, in the province of Eure-et-Loir, sire."
"What do you follow
in Paris?"
"I—I would be a
poet, sire."
"What did you in
Vernoy?"
"I minded my
father's flock of sheep."
The king stirred again,
and the film lifted from his eyes.
"Ah! in the
fields!"
"Yes, sire."
"You lived in the
fields; you went out in the cool of the morning and lay among the hedges in the
grass. The flock distributed itself upon the hillside; you drank of the living
stream; you ate your sweet, brown bread in the shade, and you listened,
doubtless, to blackbirds piping in the grove. Is not that so, shepherd?"
"It is, sire,"
answered David, with a sigh; "and to the bees at the flowers, and, maybe,
to the grape gatherers singing on the hill."
"Yes, yes," said
the king, impatiently; "maybe to them; but surely to the blackbirds. They
whistled often, in the grove, did they not?"
"Nowhere, sire, so
sweetly as in Eure-et-Loir. I have endeavored to express their song in some
verses that I have written."
"Can you repeat
those verses?" asked the king, eagerly. "A long time ago I listened
to the blackbirds. It would be something better than a kingdom if one could
rightly construe their song. And at night you drove the sheep to the fold and
then sat, in peace and tranquillity, to your pleasant bread. Can you repeat
those verses, shepherd?"
"They run this way,
sire," said David, with respectful ardour:
"'Lazy shepherd,
see your lambkins
Skip, ecstatic, on the mead;
See the firs dance in the breezes,
Hear Pan blowing at his reed.
"Hear us calling from the tree-tops,
See us swoop upon your flock;
Yield us wool to make our nests warm
In the branches of the—'"
"If it please your
majesty," interrupted a harsh voice, "I will ask a question or two of
this rhymester. There is little time to spare. I crave pardon, sire, if my
anxiety for your safety offends."
"The loyalty,"
said the king, "of the Duke d'Aumale is too well proven to give
offence." He sank into his chair, and the film came again over his eyes.
"First," said
the duke, "I will read you the letter he brought:
"'To-night is the
anniversary of the dauphin's death. If he goes, as is his custom, to midnight
mass to pray for the soul of his son, the falcon will strike, at the corner of
the Rue Esplanade. If this be his intention, set a red light in the upper room
at the southwest corner of the palace, that the falcon may take heed.'
"Peasant,"
said the duke, sternly, "you have heard these words. Who gave you this
message to bring?"
"My lord
duke," said David, sincerely, "I will tell you. A lady gave it me.
She said her mother was ill, and that this writing would fetch her uncle to her
bedside. I do not know the meaning of the letter, but I will swear that she is
beautiful and good."
"Describe the
woman," commanded the duke, "and how you came to be her dupe."
"Describe
her!" said David with a tender smile. "You would command words to
perform miracles. Well, she is made of sunshine and deep shade. She is slender,
like the alders, and moves with their grace. Her eyes change while you gaze
into them; now round, and then half shut as the sun peeps between two clouds.
When she comes, heaven is all about her; when she leaves, there is chaos and a
scent of hawthorn blossoms. She came to see me in the Rue Conti, number twenty-nine."
"It is the
house," said the duke, turning to the king, "that we have been
watching. Thanks to the poet's tongue, we have a picture of the infamous
Countess Quebedaux."
"Sire and my lord
duke," said David, earnestly, "I hope my poor words have done no
injustice. I have looked into that lady's eyes. I will stake my life that she
is an angel, letter or no letter."
The duke looked at him
steadily. "I will put you to the proof," he said, slowly.
"Dressed as the king, you shall, yourself, attend mass in his carriage at
midnight. Do you accept the test?"
David smiled. "I
have looked into her eyes," he said. "I had my proof there. Take
yours how you will."
Half an hour before
twelve the Duke d'Aumale, with his own hands, set a red lamp in a southwest
window of the palace. At ten minutes to the hour, David, leaning on his arm,
dressed as the king, from top to toe, with his head bowed in his cloak, walked
slowly from the royal apartments to the waiting carriage. The duke assisted him
inside and closed the door. The carriage whirled away along its route to the
cathedral.
On the qui vive in
a house at the corner of the Rue Esplanade was Captain Tetreau with twenty men,
ready to pounce upon the conspirators when they should appear.
But it seemed that, for
some reason, the plotters had slightly altered their plans. When the royal
carriage had reached the Rue Christopher, one square nearer than the Rue
Esplanade, forth from it burst Captain Desrolles, with his band of would-be
regicides, and assailed the equipage. The guards upon the carriage, though
surprised at the premature attack, descended and fought valiantly. The noise of
conflict attracted the force of Captain Tetreau, and they came pelting down the
street to the rescue. But, in the meantime, the desperate Desrolles had torn
open the door of the king's carriage, thrust his weapon against the body of the
dark figure inside, and fired.
Now, with loyal
reinforcements at hand, the street rang with cries and the rasp of steel, but
the frightened horses had dashed away. Upon the cushions lay the dead body of
the poor mock king and poet, slain by a ball from the pistol of Monseigneur,
the Marquis de Beaupertuys.
THE MAIN ROAD
Three leagues, then, the
road ran, and turned into a puzzle. It joined with another and a larger road at
right angles. David stood, uncertain, for a while, and then sat himself to rest
upon its side.
Whither these roads led
he knew not. Either way there seemed to lie a great world full of chance and
peril. And then, sitting there, his eye fell upon a bright star, one that he
and Yvonne had named for theirs. That set him thinking of Yvonne, and he
wondered if he had not been too hasty. Why should he leave her and his home
because a few hot words had come between them? Was love so brittle a thing that
jealousy, the very proof of it, could break it? Mornings always brought a cure
for the little heartaches of evening. There was yet time for him to return home
without any one in the sweetly sleeping village of Vernoy being the wiser. His
heart was Yvonne's; there where he had lived always he could write his poems
and find his happiness.
David rose, and shook
off his unrest and the wild mood that had tempted him. He set his face
steadfastly back along the road he had come. By the time he had retravelled the
road to Vernoy, his desire to rove was gone. He passed the sheepfold, and the
sheep scurried, with a drumming flutter, at his late footsteps, warming his
heart by the homely sound. He crept without noise into his little room and lay
there, thankful that his feet had escaped the distress of new roads that night.
How well he knew woman's
heart! The next evening Yvonne was at the well in the road where the young
congregated in order that the curé might have business. The
corner of her eye was engaged in a search for David, albeit her set mouth
seemed unrelenting. He saw the look; braved the mouth, drew from it a
recantation and, later, a kiss as they walked homeward together.
Three months afterwards
they were married. David's father was shrewd and prosperous. He gave them a
wedding that was heard of three leagues away. Both the young people were
favourites in the village. There was a procession in the streets, a dance on
the green; they had the marionettes and a tumbler out from Dreux to delight the
guests.
Then a year, and David's
father died. The sheep and the cottage descended to him. He already had the
seemliest wife in the village. Yvonne's milk pails and her brass kettles were
bright—ouf! they blinded you in the sun when you passed that way.
But you must keep your eyes upon her yard, for her flower beds were so neat and
gay they restored to you your sight. And you might hear her sing, aye, as far
as the double chestnut tree above Père Gruneau's blacksmith forge.
But a day came when
David drew out paper from a long-shut drawer, and began to bite the end of a
pencil. Spring had come again and touched his heart. Poet he must have been,
for now Yvonne was well-nigh forgotten. This fine new loveliness of earth held
him with its witchery and grace. The perfume from her woods and meadows stirred
him strangely. Daily had he gone forth with his flock, and brought it safe at
night. But now he stretched himself under the hedge and pieced words together
on his bits of paper. The sheep strayed, and the wolves, perceiving that
difficult poems make easy mutton, ventured from the woods and stole his lambs.
David's stock of poems
grew larger and his flock smaller. Yvonne's nose and temper waxed sharp and her
talk blunt. Her pans and kettles grew dull, but her eyes had caught their
flash. She pointed out to the poet that his neglect was reducing the flock and
bringing woe upon the household. David hired a boy to guard the sheep, locked
himself in the little room at the top of the cottage, and wrote more poems. The
boy, being a poet by nature, but not furnished with an outlet in the way of
writing, spent his time in slumber. The wolves lost no time in discovering that
poetry and sleep are practically the same; so the flock steadily grew smaller.
Yvonne's ill temper increased at an equal rate. Sometimes she would stand in
the yard and rail at David through his high window. Then you could hear her as
far as the double chestnut tree above Père Gruneau's blacksmith forge.
M. Papineau, the kind,
wise, meddling old notary, saw this, as he saw everything at which his nose
pointed. He went to David, fortified himself with a great pinch of snuff, and
said:
"Friend Mignot, I
affixed the seal upon the marriage certificate of your father. It would
distress me to be obliged to attest a paper signifying the bankruptcy of his
son. But that is what you are coming to. I speak as an old friend. Now, listen
to what I have to say. You have your heart set, I perceive, upon poetry. At
Dreux, I have a friend, one Monsieur Bril—Georges Bril. He lives in a little
cleared space in a houseful of books. He is a learned man; he visits Paris each
year; he himself has written books. He will tell you when the catacombs were
made, how they found out the names of the stars, and why the plover has a long
bill. The meaning and the form of poetry is to him as intelligent as the baa of
a sheep is to you. I will give you a letter to him, and you shall take him your
poems and let him read them. Then you will know if you shall write more, or
give your attention to your wife and business."
"Write the
letter," said David, "I am sorry you did not speak of this
sooner."
At sunrise the next
morning he was on the road to Dreux with the precious roll of poems under his
arm. At noon he wiped the dust from his feet at the door of Monsieur Bril. That
learned man broke the seal of M. Papineau's letter, and sucked up its contents
through his gleaming spectacles as the sun draws water. He took David inside to
his study and sat him down upon a little island beat upon by a sea of books.
Monsieur Bril had a
conscience. He flinched not even at a mass of manuscript the thickness of a
finger length and rolled to an incorrigible curve. He broke the back of the
roll against his knee and began to read. He slighted nothing; he bored into the
lump as a worm into a nut, seeking for a kernel.
Meanwhile, David sat,
marooned, trembling in the spray of so much literature. It roared in his ears.
He held no chart or compass for voyaging in that sea. Half the world, he
thought, must be writing books.
Monsieur Bril bored to
the last page of the poems. Then he took off his spectacles, and wiped them
with his handkerchief.
"My old friend,
Papineau, is well?" he asked.
"In the best of
health," said David.
"How many sheep
have you, Monsieur Mignot?"
"Three hundred and
nine, when I counted them yesterday. The flock has had ill fortune. To that
number it has decreased from eight hundred and fifty."
"You have a wife
and home, and lived in comfort. The sheep brought you plenty. You went into the
fields with them and lived in the keen air and ate the sweet bread of
contentment. You had but to be vigilant and recline there upon nature's breast,
listening to the whistle of the blackbirds in the grove. Am I right thus
far?"
"It was so,"
said David.
"I have read all
your verses," continued Monsieur Bril, his eyes wandering about his sea of
books as if he conned the horizon for a sail. "Look yonder, through that
window, Monsieur Mignot; tell me what you see in that tree."
"I see a
crow," said David, looking.
"There is a bird,"
said Monsieur Bril, "that shall assist me where I am disposed to shirk a
duty. You know that bird, Monsieur Mignot; he is the philosopher of the air. He
is happy through submission to his lot. None so merry or full-crawed as he with
his whimsical eye and rollicking step. The fields yield him what he desires. He
never grieves that his plumage is not gay, like the oriole's. And you have
heard, Monsieur Mignot, the notes that nature has given him? Is the nightingale
any happier, do you think?"
David rose to his feet.
The crow cawed harshly from his tree.
"I thank you,
Monsieur Bril," he said, slowly. "There was not, then, one
nightingale among all those croaks?"
"I could not have
missed it," said Monsieur Bril, with a sigh. "I read every word. Live
your poetry, man; do not try to write it any more."
"I thank you,"
said David, again. "And now I will be going back to my sheep."
"If you would dine
with me," said the man of books, "and overlook the smart of it, I
will give you reasons at length."
"No," said the
poet, "I must be back in the fields cawing at my sheep."
Back along the road to
Vernoy he trudged with his poems under his arm. When he reached his village he
turned into the shop of one Zeigler, a Jew out of Armenia, who sold anything
that came to his hand.
"Friend," said
David, "wolves from the forest harass my sheep on the hills. I must
purchase firearms to protect them. What have you?"
"A bad day, this,
for me, friend Mignot," said Zeigler, spreading his hands, "for I
perceive that I must sell you a weapon that will not fetch a tenth of its
value. Only last I week I bought from a peddlar a wagon full of goods that he
procured at a sale by a commissionaire of the crown. The sale
was of the château and belongings of a great lord—I know not
his title—who has been banished for conspiracy against the king. There are some
choice firearms in the lot. This pistol—oh, a weapon fit for a prince!—it shall
be only forty francs to you, friend Mignot—if I lose ten by the sale. But
perhaps an arquebuse—"
"This will do,"
said David, throwing the money on the counter. "Is it charged?"
"I will charge
it," said Zeigler. "And, for ten francs more, add a store of powder
and ball."
David laid his pistol
under his coat and walked to his cottage. Yvonne was not there. Of late she had
taken to gadding much among the neighbours. But a fire was glowing in the
kitchen stove. David opened the door of it and thrust his poems in upon the
coals. As they blazed up they made a singing, harsh sound in the flue.
"The song of the
crow!" said the poet.
He went up to his attic
room and closed the door. So quiet was the village that a score of people heard
the roar of the great pistol. They flocked thither, and up the stairs where the
smoke, issuing, drew their notice.
The men laid the body of
the poet upon his bed, awkwardly arranging it to conceal the torn plumage of
the poor black crow. The women chattered in a luxury of zealous pity. Some of
them ran to tell Yvonne.
M. Papineau, whose nose
had brought him there among the first, picked up the weapon and ran his eye
over its silver mountings with a mingled air of connoisseurship and grief.
"The arms," he
explained, aside, to the curé, "and crest of Monseigneur, the
Marquis de Beaupertuys."
II.THE GUARDIAN OF THE ACCOLADE
Not the least important of the force of the
Weymouth Bank was Uncle Bushrod. Sixty years had Uncle Bushrod given of
faithful service to the house of Weymouth as chattel, servitor, and friend. Of
the colour of the mahogany bank furniture was Uncle Bushrod—thus dark was he
externally; white as the uninked pages of the bank ledgers was his soul.
Eminently pleasing to Uncle Bushrod would the comparison have been; for to him
the only institution in existence worth considering was the Weymouth Bank, of
which he was something between porter and generalissimo-in-charge.
Weymouth lay, dreamy and
umbrageous, among the low foothills along the brow of a Southern valley. Three
banks there were in Weymouthville. Two were hopeless, misguided enterprises,
lacking the presence and prestige of a Weymouth to give them glory. The third
was The Bank, managed by the Weymouths—and Uncle Bushrod. In the old Weymouth
homestead—the red brick, white-porticoed mansion, the first to your right as
you crossed Elder Creek, coming into town—lived Mr. Robert Weymouth (the
president of the bank), his widowed daughter, Mrs. Vesey—called "Miss
Letty" by every one—and her two children, Nan and Guy. There, also in a
cottage on the grounds, resided Uncle Bushrod and Aunt Malindy, his wife. Mr.
William Weymouth (the cashier of the bank) lived in a modern, fine house on the
principal avenue.
Mr. Robert was a large,
stout man, sixty-two years of age, with a smooth, plump face, long iron-gray
hair and fiery blue eyes. He was high-tempered, kind, and generous, with a
youthful smile and a formidable, stern voice that did not always mean what it
sounded like. Mr. William was a milder man, correct in deportment and absorbed
in business. The Weymouths formed The Family of Weymouthville, and were looked
up to, as was their right of heritage.
Uncle Bushrod was the
bank's trusted porter, messenger, vassal, and guardian. He carried a key to the
vault, just as Mr. Robert and Mr. William did. Sometimes there was ten,
fifteen, or twenty thousand dollars in sacked silver stacked on the vault
floor. It was safe with Uncle Bushrod. He was a Weymouth in heart, honesty, and
pride.
Of late Uncle Bushrod
had not been without worry. It was on account of Marse Robert. For nearly a
year Mr. Robert had been known to indulge in too much drink. Not enough,
understand, to become tipsy, but the habit was getting a hold upon him, and
every one was beginning to notice it. Half a dozen times a day he would leave
the bank and step around to the Merchants and Planters' Hotel to take a drink.
Mr. Robert's usual keen judgment and business capacity became a little
impaired. Mr. William, a Weymouth, but not so rich in experience, tried to dam
the inevitable backflow of the tide, but with incomplete success. The deposits
in the Weymouth Bank dropped from six figures to five. Past-due paper began to
accumulate, owing to injudicious loans. No one cared to address Mr. Robert on
the subject of temperance. Many of his friends said that the cause of it had
been the death of his wife some two years before. Others hesitated on account
of Mr. Robert's quick temper, which was extremely apt to resent personal
interference of such a nature. Miss Letty and the children noticed the change
and grieved about it. Uncle Bushrod also worried, but he was one of those who
would not have dared to remonstrate, although he and Marse Robert had been
raised almost as companions. But there was a heavier shock coming to Uncle
Bushrod than that caused by the bank president's toddies and juleps.
Mr. Robert had a passion
for fishing, which he usually indulged whenever the season and business
permitted. One day, when reports had been coming in relating to the bass and
perch, he announced his intention of making a two or three days' visit to the
lakes. He was going down, he said, to Reedy Lake with Judge Archinard, an old
friend.
Now, Uncle Bushrod was
treasurer of the Sons and Daughters of the Burning Bush. Every association he
belonged to made him treasurer without hesitation. He stood AA1 in coloured
circles. He was understood among them to be Mr. Bushrod Weymouth, of the
Weymouth Bank.
The night following the
day on which Mr. Robert mentioned his intended fishing-trip the old man woke up
and rose from his bed at twelve o'clock, declaring he must go down to the bank
and fetch the pass-book of the Sons and Daughters, which he had forgotten to
bring home. The bookkeeper had balanced it for him that day, put the cancelled
checks in it, and snapped two elastic bands around it. He put but one band
around other pass-books.
Aunt Malindy objected to
the mission at so late an hour, denouncing it as foolish and unnecessary, but
Uncle Bushrod was not to be deflected from duty.
"I done told Sister
Adaline Hoskins," he said, "to come by here for dat book to-morrer
mawnin' at sebin o'clock, for to kyar' it to de meetin' of de bo'd of
'rangements, and dat book gwine to be here when she come."
So, Uncle Bushrod put on
his old brown suit, got his thick hickory stick, and meandered through the
almost deserted streets of Weymouthville. He entered the bank, unlocking the
side door, and found the pass-book where he had left it, in the little back
room used for consultations, where he always hung his coat. Looking about
casually, he saw that everything was as he had left it, and was about to start
for home when he was brought to a standstill by the sudden rattle of a key in
the front door. Some one came quickly in, closed the door softly, and entered
the counting-room through the door in the iron railing.
That division of the
bank's space was connected with the back room by a narrow passageway, now in
deep darkness.
Uncle Bushrod, firmly
gripping his hickory stick, tiptoed gently up this passage until he could see
the midnight intruder into the sacred precincts of the Weymouth Bank. One dim
gas-jet burned there, but even in its nebulous light he perceived at once that
the prowler was the bank's president.
Wondering, fearful,
undecided what to do, the old coloured man stood motionless in the gloomy strip
of hallway, and waited developments.
The vault, with its big
iron door, was opposite him. Inside that was the safe, holding the papers of
value, the gold and currency of the bank. On the floor of the vault was,
perhaps, eighteen thousand dollars in silver.
The president took his
key from his pocket, opened the vault and went inside, nearly closing the door
behind him. Uncle Bushrod saw, through the narrow aperture, the flicker of a
candle. In a minute or two—it seemed an hour to the watcher—Mr. Robert came
out, bringing with him a large hand-satchel, handling it in a careful but hurried
manner, as if fearful that he might be observed. With one hand he closed and
locked the vault door.
With a reluctant theory
forming itself beneath his wool, Uncle Bushrod waited and watched, shaking in
his concealing shadow.
Mr. Robert set the
satchel softly upon a desk, and turned his coat collar up about his neck and
ears. He was dressed in a rough suit of gray, as if for travelling. He glanced
with frowning intentness at the big office clock above the burning gas-jet, and
then looked lingeringly about the bank—lingeringly and fondly, Uncle Bushrod
thought, as one who bids farewell to dear and familiar scenes.
Now he caught up his
burden again and moved promptly and softly out of the bank by the way he had
come locking the front door behind him.
For a minute or longer
Uncle Bushrod was as stone in his tracks. Had that midnight rifler of safes and
vaults been any other on earth than the man he was, the old retainer would have
rushed upon him and struck to save the Weymouth property. But now the watcher's
soul was tortured by the poignant dread of something worse than mere robbery.
He was seized by an accusing terror that said the Weymouth name and the
Weymouth honour were about to be lost. Marse Robert robbing the bank! What else
could it mean? The hour of the night, the stealthy visit to the vault, the
satchel brought forth full and with expedition and silence, the prowler's rough
dress, his solicitous reading of the clock, and noiseless departure—what else
could it mean?
And then to the turmoil
of Uncle Bushrod's thoughts came the corroborating recollection of preceding
events—Mr. Robert's increasing intemperance and consequent many moods of royal
high spirits and stern tempers; the casual talk he had heard in the bank of the
decrease in business and difficulty in collecting loans. What else could it all
mean but that Mr. Robert Weymouth was an absconder—was about to fly with the
bank's remaining funds, leaving Mr. William, Miss Letty, little Nan, Guy, and
Uncle Bushrod to bear the disgrace?
During one minute Uncle
Bushrod considered these things, and then he awoke to sudden determination and
action.
"Lawd! Lawd!"
he moaned aloud, as he hobbled hastily toward the side door. "Sech a
come-off after all dese here years of big doin's and fine doin's. Scan'lous sights
upon de yearth when de Weymouth fambly done turn out robbers and 'bezzlers!
Time for Uncle Bushrod to clean out somebody's chicken-coop and eben matters
up. Oh, Lawd! Marse Robert, you ain't gwine do dat. 'N Miss Letty an' dem
chillun so proud and talkin' 'Weymouth, Weymouth,' all de time! I'm gwine to
stop you ef I can. 'Spec you shoot Mr. Nigger's head off ef he fool wid you,
but I'm gwine stop you ef I can."
Uncle Bushrod, aided by
his hickory stick, impeded by his rheumatism, hurried down the street toward
the railroad station, where the two lines touching Weymouthville met. As he had
expected and feared, he saw there Mr. Robert, standing in the shadow of the
building, waiting for the train. He held the satchel in his hand.
When Uncle Bushrod came
within twenty yards of the bank president, standing like a huge, gray ghost by
the station wall, sudden perturbation seized him. The rashness and audacity of
the thing he had come to do struck him fully. He would have been happy could he
have turned and fled from the possibilities of the famous Weymouth wrath. But
again he saw, in his fancy, the white reproachful face of Miss Letty, and the
distressed looks of Nan and Guy, should he fail in his duty and they question
him as to his stewardship.
Braced by the thought,
he approached in a straight line, clearing his throat and pounding with his
stick so that he might be early recognized. Thus he might avoid the likely
danger of too suddenly surprising the sometimes hasty Mr. Robert.
"Is that you,
Bushrod?" called the clamant, clear voice of the gray ghost.
"Yes, suh, Marse
Robert."
"What the devil are
you doing out at this time of night?"
For the first time in
his life, Uncle Bushrod told Marse Robert a falsehood. He could not repress it.
He would have to circumlocute a little. His nerve was not equal to a direct
attack.
"I done been down,
suh, to see ol' Aunt M'ria Patterson. She taken sick in de night, and I kyar'ed
her a bottle of M'lindy's medercine. Yes, suh."
"Humph!" said
Robert. "You better get home out of the night air. It's damp. You'll
hardly be worth killing to-morrow on account of your rheumatism. Think it'll be
a clear day, Bushrod?"
"I 'low it will,
suh. De sun sot red las' night."
Mr. Robert lit a cigar
in the shadow, and the smoke looked like his gray ghost expanding and escaping
into the night air. Somehow, Uncle Bushrod could barely force his reluctant
tongue to the dreadful subject. He stood, awkward, shambling, with his feet
upon the gravel and fumbling with his stick. But then, afar off—three miles
away, at the Jimtown switch—he heard the faint whistle of the coming train, the
one that was to transport the Weymouth name into the regions of dishonour and
shame. All fear left him. He took off his hat and faced the chief of the clan
he served, the great, royal, kind, lofty, terrible Weymouth—he bearded him
there at the brink of the awful thing that was about to happen.
"Marse
Robert," he began, his voice quivering a little with the stress of his
feelings, "you 'member de day dey-all rode de tunnament at Oak Lawn? De
day, suh, dat you win in de ridin', and you crown Miss Lucy de queen?"
"Tournament?"
said Mr. Robert, taking his cigar from his mouth. "Yes, I remember very
well the—but what the deuce are you talking about tournaments here at midnight
for? Go 'long home, Bushrod. I believe you're sleep-walking."
"Miss Lucy tetch
you on de shoulder," continued the old man, never heeding, "wid a
s'ord, and say: 'I mek you a knight, Suh Robert—rise up, pure and fearless and
widout reproach.' Dat what Miss Lucy say. Dat's been a long time ago, but me
nor you ain't forgot it. And den dar's another time we ain't forgot—de time
when Miss Lucy lay on her las' bed. She sent for Uncle Bushrod, and she say:
'Uncle Bushrod, when I die, I want you to take good care of Mr. Robert. Seem
like'—so Miss Lucy say—'he listen to you mo' dan to anybody else. He apt to be
mighty fractious sometimes, and maybe he cuss you when you try to 'suade him
but he need somebody what understand him to be 'round wid him. He am like a
little child sometimes'—so Miss Lucy say, wid her eyes shinin' in her po', thin
face—'but he always been'—dem was her words—'my knight, pure and fearless and
widout reproach.'"
Mr. Robert began to
mask, as was his habit, a tendency to soft-heartedness with a spurious anger.
"You—you old
windbag!" he growled through a cloud of swirling cigar smoke. "I
believe you are crazy. I told you to go home, Bushrod. Miss Lucy said that, did
she? Well, we haven't kept the scutcheon very clear. Two years ago last week,
wasn't it, Bushrod, when she died? Confound it! Are you going to stand there
all night gabbing like a coffee-coloured gander?"
The train whistled
again. Now it was at the water tank, a mile away.
"Marse
Robert," said Uncle Bushrod, laying his hand on the satchel that the
banker held. "For Gawd's sake, don' take dis wid you. I knows what's in
it. I knows where you got it in de bank. Don' kyar' it wid you. Dey's big
trouble in dat valise for Miss Lucy and Miss Lucy's child's chillun. Hit's
bound to destroy de name of Weymouth and bow down dem dat own it wid shame and
triberlation. Marse Robert, you can kill dis ole nigger ef you will, but don't
take away dis 'er' valise. If I ever crosses over de Jordan, what I gwine to
say to Miss Lucy when she ax me: 'Uncle Bushrod, wharfo' didn' you take good
care of Mr. Robert?'"
Mr. Robert Weymouth
threw away his cigar and shook free one arm with that peculiar gesture that
always preceded his outbursts of irascibility. Uncle Bushrod bowed his head to
the expected storm, but he did not flinch. If the house of Weymouth was to
fall, he would fall with it. The banker spoke, and Uncle Bushrod blinked with
surprise. The storm was there, but it was suppressed to the quietness of a
summer breeze.
"Bushrod,"
said Mr. Robert, in a lower voice than he usually employed, "you have
overstepped all bounds. You have presumed upon the leniency with which you have
been treated to meddle unpardonably. So you know what is in this satchel! Your
long and faithful service is some excuse, but—go home, Bushrod—not another
word!"
But Bushrod grasped the
satchel with a firmer hand. The headlight of the train was now lightening the
shadows about the station. The roar was increasing, and folks were stirring
about at the track side.
"Marse Robert,
gimme dis 'er' valise. I got a right, suh, to talk to you dis 'er' way. I
slaved for you and 'tended to you from a child up. I went th'ough de war as yo'
body-servant tell we whipped de Yankees and sent 'em back to de No'th. I was at
yo' weddin', and I was n' fur away when yo' Miss Letty was bawn. And Miss
Letty's chillun, dey watches to-day for Uncle Bushrod when he come home ever'
evenin'. I been a Weymouth, all 'cept in colour and entitlements. Both of us is
old, Marse Robert. 'Tain't goin' to be long till we gwine to see Miss Lucy and
has to give an account of our doin's. De ole nigger man won't be 'spected to
say much mo' dan he done all he could by de fambly dat owned him. But de
Weymouths, dey must say dey been livin' pure and fearless and widout reproach.
Gimme dis valise, Marse Robert—I'm gwine to hab it. I'm gwine to take it back
to the bank and lock it up in de vault. I'm gwine to do Miss Lucy's biddin'.
Turn 'er loose, Marse Robert."
The train was standing
at the station. Some men were pushing trucks along the side. Two or three
sleepy passengers got off and wandered away into the night. The conductor
stepped to the gravel, swung his lantern and called: "Hello, Frank!"
at some one invisible. The bell clanged, the brakes hissed, the conductor
drawled: "All aboard!"
Mr. Robert released his
hold on the satchel. Uncle Bushrod hugged it to his breast with both arms, as a
lover clasps his first beloved.
"Take it back with
you, Bushrod," said Mr. Robert, thrusting his hands into his pockets.
"And let the subject drop—now mind! You've said quite enough. I'm going to
take the train. Tell Mr. William I will be back on Saturday. Good night."
The banker climbed the
steps of the moving train and disappeared in a coach. Uncle Bushrod stood
motionless, still embracing the precious satchel. His eyes were closed and his
lips were moving in thanks to the Master above for the salvation of the
Weymouth honour. He knew Mr. Robert would return when he said he would. The
Weymouths never lied. Nor now, thank the Lord! could it be said that they
embezzled the money in banks.
Then awake to the
necessity for further guardianship of Weymouth trust funds, the old man started
for the bank with the redeemed satchel.
Three hours from
Weymouthville, in the gray dawn, Mr. Robert alighted from the train at a lonely
flag-station. Dimly he could see the figure of a man waiting on the platform,
and the shape of a spring-waggon, team and driver. Half a dozen lengthy bamboo
fishing-poles projected from the waggon's rear.
"You're here,
Bob," said Judge Archinard, Mr. Robert's old friend and schoolmate.
"It's going to be a royal day for fishing. I thought you said—why, didn't
you bring along the stuff?"
The president of the
Weymouth Bank took off his hat and rumpled his gray locks.
"Well, Ben, to tell
you the truth, there's an infernally presumptuous old nigger belonging in my
family that broke up the arrangement. He came down to the depot and vetoed the
whole proceeding. He means all right, and—well, I reckon he is right.
Somehow, he had found out what I had along—though I hid it in the bank vault
and sneaked it out at midnight. I reckon he has noticed that I've been
indulging a little more than a gentleman should, and he laid for me with some
reaching arguments.
"I'm going to quit
drinking," Mr. Robert concluded. "I've come to the conclusion that a
man can't keep it up and be quite what he'd like to be—'pure and fearless and
without reproach'—that's the way old Bushrod quoted it."
"Well, I'll have to
admit," said the judge, thoughtfully, as they climbed into the waggon,
"that the old darkey's argument can't conscientiously be overruled."
"Still," said
Mr. Robert, with a ghost of a sigh, "there was two quarts of the finest
old silk-velvet Bourbon in that satchel you ever wet your lips with."
III.THE DISCOUNTERS OF MONEY
The spectacle of the
money-caliphs of the present day going about Bagdad-on-the-Subway trying to
relieve the wants of the people is enough to make the great Al Raschid turn
Haroun in his grave. If not so, then the assertion should do so, the real
caliph having been a wit and a scholar and therefore a hater of puns.
How properly to
alleviate the troubles of the poor is one of the greatest troubles of the rich.
But one thing agreed upon by all professional philanthropists is that you must
never hand over any cash to your subject. The poor are notoriously
temperamental; and when they get money they exhibit a strong tendency to spend
it for stuffed olives and enlarged crayon portraits instead of giving it to the
instalment man.
And still, old Haroun
had some advantages as an eleemosynarian. He took around with him on his
rambles his vizier, Giafar (a vizier is a composite of a chauffeur, a secretary
of state, and a night-and-day bank), and old Uncle Mesrour, his executioner,
who toted a snickersnee. With this entourage a caliphing tour could hardly fail
to be successful. Have you noticed lately any newspaper articles headed,
"What Shall We Do With Our Ex-Presidents?" Well, now, suppose that
Mr. Carnegie could engage him and Joe Gans to go about assisting
in the distribution of free libraries? Do you suppose any town would have had
the hardihood to refuse one? That caliphalous combination would cause two
libraries to grow where there had been only one set of E. P. Roe's works
before.
But, as I said, the
money-caliphs are handicapped. They have the idea that earth has no sorrow that
dough cannot heal; and they rely upon it solely. Al Raschid administered
justice, rewarding the deserving, and punished whomsoever he disliked on the
spot. He was the originator of the short-story contest. Whenever he succoured
any chance pick-up in the bazaars he always made the succouree tell the sad
story of his life. If the narrative lacked construction, style, and esprit he
commanded his vizier to dole him out a couple of thousand ten-dollar notes of
the First National Bank of the Bosphorus, or else gave him a soft job as Keeper
of the Bird Seed for the Bulbuls in the Imperial Gardens. If the story was a
cracker-jack, he had Mesrour, the executioner, whack off his head. The report
that Haroun Al Raschid is yet alive and is editing the magazine that your
grandmother used to subscribe for lacks confirmation.
And now follows the
Story of the Millionaire, the Inefficacious Increment, and the Babes Drawn from
the Wood.
Young Howard Pilkins,
the millionaire, got his money ornithologically. He was a shrewd judge of
storks, and got in on the ground floor at the residence of his immediate
ancestors, the Pilkins Brewing Company. For his mother was a partner in the
business. Finally old man Pilkins died from a torpid liver, and then Mrs.
Pilkins died from worry on account of torpid delivery-waggons—and there you
have young Howard Pilkins with 4,000,000; and a good fellow at that. He was an
agreeable, modestly arrogant young man, who implicitly believed that money
could buy anything that the world had to offer. And Bagdad-on-the-Subway for a
long time did everything possible to encourage his belief.
But the Rat-trap caught
him at last; he heard the spring snap, and found his heart in a wire cage
regarding a piece of cheese whose other name was Alice von der Ruysling.
The Von der Ruyslings
still live in that little square about which so much has been said, and in
which so little has been done. To-day you hear of Mr. Tilden's underground passage,
and you hear Mr. Gould's elevated passage, and that about ends the noise in the
world made by Gramercy Square. But once it was different. The Von der Ruyslings
live there yet, and they received the first key ever made to Gramercy
Park.
You shall have no
description of Alice v. d. R. Just call up in your mind the picture of your own
Maggie or Vera or Beatrice, straighten her nose, soften her voice, tone her
down and then tone her up, make her beautiful and unattainable—and you have a
faint dry-point etching of Alice. The family owned a crumbly brick house and a
coachman named Joseph in a coat of many colours, and a horse so old that he
claimed to belong to the order of the Perissodactyla, and had toes instead of
hoofs. In the year 1898 the family had to buy a new set of harness for the
Perissodactyl. Before using it they made Joseph smear it over with a mixture of
ashes and soot. It was the Von der Ruysling family that bought the territory
between the Bowery and East River and Rivington Street and the Statue of
Liberty, in the year 1649, from an Indian chief for a quart of passementerie
and a pair of Turkey-red portières designed for a Harlem flat. I have always
admired that Indian's perspicacity and good taste. All this is merely to
convince you that the Von der Ruyslings were exactly the kind of poor
aristocrats that turn down their noses at people who have money. Oh, well, I
don't mean that; I mean people who have just money.
One evening Pilkins went
down to the red brick house in Gramercy Square, and made what he thought was a
proposal to Alice v. d. R. Alice, with her nose turned down, and thinking of
his money, considered it a proposition, and refused it and him. Pilkins,
summoning all his resources as any good general would have done, made an indiscreet
references to the advantages that his money would provide. That settled it. The
lady turned so cold that Walter Wellman himself would have waited until spring
to make a dash for her in a dog-sled.
But Pilkins was
something of a sport himself. You can't fool all the millionaires every time
the ball drops on the Western Union Building.
"If, at any
time," he said to A. v. d. R., "you feel that you would like to
reconsider your answer, send me a rose like that."
Pilkins audaciously
touched a Jacque rose that she wore loosely in her hair.
"Very well,"
said she. "And when I do, you will understand by it that either you or I
have learned something new about the purchasing power of money. You've been
spoiled, my friend. No, I don't think I could marry you. To-morrow I will send
you back the presents you have given me."
"Presents!"
said Pilkins in surprise. "I never gave you a present in my life. I would
like to see a full-length portrait of the man that you would take a present
from. Why, you never would let me send you flowers or candy or even art
calendars."
"You've
forgotten," said Alice v. d. R., with a little smile. "It was a long
time ago when our families were neighbours. You were seven, and I was trundling
my doll on the sidewalk. You have me a little gray, hairy kitten, with
shoe-buttony eyes. Its head came off and it was full of candy. You paid five
cents for it—you told me so. I haven't the candy to return to you—I hadn't
developed a conscience at three, so I ate it. But I have the kitten yet, and I will
wrap it up neatly to-night and send it to you to-morrow."
Beneath the lightness of
Alice v. d. R.'s talk the steadfastness of her rejection showed firm and plain.
So there was nothing left for him but to leave the crumbly red brick house, and
be off with his abhorred millions.
On his way back, Pilkins
walked through Madison Square. The hour hand of the clock hung about eight; the
air was stingingly cool, but not at the freezing point. The dim little square
seemed like a great, cold, unroofed room, with its four walls of houses,
spangled with thousands of insufficient lights. Only a few loiterers were
huddled here and there on the benches.
But suddenly Pilkins
came upon a youth sitting brave and, as if conflicting with summer sultriness,
coatless, his white shirt-sleeves conspicuous in the light from the globe of an
electric. Close to his side was a girl, smiling, dreamy, happy. Around her
shoulders was, palpably, the missing coat of the cold-defying youth. It
appeared to be a modern panorama of the Babes in the Wood, revised and brought
up to date, with the exception that the robins hadn't turned up yet with the
protecting leaves.
With delight the
money-caliphs view a situation that they think is relievable while you wait.
Pilkins sat on the
bench, one seat removed from the youth. He glanced cautiously and saw (as men
do see; and women—oh! never can) that they were of the same order.
Pilkins leaned over
after a short time and spoke to the youth, who answered smilingly, and
courteously. From general topics the conversation concentrated to the bed-rock
of grim personalities. But Pilkins did it as delicately and heartily as any
caliph could have done. And when it came to the point, the youth turned to him,
soft-voiced and with his undiminished smile.
"I don't want to
seem unappreciative, old man," he said, with a youth's somewhat too-early
spontaneity of address, "but, you see, I can't accept anything from a
stranger. I know you're all right, and I'm tremendously obliged, but I couldn't
think of borrowing from anybody. You see, I'm Marcus Clayton—the Claytons of
Roanoke County, Virginia, you know. The young lady is Miss Eva Bedford—I reckon
you've heard of the Bedfords. She's seventeen and one of the Bedfords of
Bedford County. We've eloped from home to get married, and we wanted to see New
York. We got in this afternoon. Somebody got my pocketbook on the ferry-boat,
and I had only three cents in change outside of it. I'll get some work
somewhere to-morrow, and we'll get married."
"But, I say, old
man," said Pilkins, in confidential low tones, "you can't keep the
lady out here in the cold all night. Now, as for hotels—"
"I told you,"
said the youth, with a broader smile, "that I didn't have but three cents.
Besides, if I had a thousand, we'd have to wait here until morning. You can
understand that, of course. I'm much obliged, but I can't take any of your
money. Miss Bedford and I have lived an outdoor life, and we don't mind a
little cold. I'll get work of some kind to-morrow. We've got a paper bag of
cakes and chocolates, and we'll get along all right."
"Listen," said
the millionaire, impressively. "My name is Pilkins, and I'm worth several
million dollars. I happen to have in my pockets about $800 or $900 in cash.
Don't you think you are drawing it rather fine when you decline to accept as
much of it as will make you and the young lady comfortable at least for the
night?"
"I can't say, sir,
that I do think so," said Clayton of Roanoke County. "I've been
raised to look at such things differently. But I'm mightily obliged to you,
just the same."
"Then you force me
to say good night," said the millionaire.
Twice that day had his
money been scorned by simple ones to whom his dollars had appeared as but tin
tobacco-tags. He was no worshipper of the actual minted coin or stamped paper,
but he had always believed in its almost unlimited power to purchase.
Pilkins walked away
rapidly, and then turned abruptly and returned to the bench where the young
couple sat. He took off his hat and began to speak. The girl looked at him with
the same sprightly, glowing interest that she had been giving to the lights and
statuary and sky-reaching buildings that made the old square seem so far away
from Bedford County.
"Mr.—er—Roanoke,"
said Pilkins, "I admire your—your indepen—your idiocy so much that I'm
going to appeal to your chivalry. I believe that's what you Southerners call it
when you keep a lady sitting outdoors on a bench on a cold night just to keep
your old, out-of-date pride going. Now, I've a friend—a lady—whom I have known
all my life—who lives a few blocks from here—with her parents and sisters and
aunts, and all that kind of endorsement, of course. I am sure this lady would
be happy and pleased to put up—that is, to have Miss—er—Bedford give her the
pleasure of having her as a guest for the night. Don't you think, Mr. Roanoke,
of—er—Virginia, that you could unbend your prejudices that far?"
Clayton of Roanoke rose
and held out his hand.
"Old man," he
said, "Miss Bedford will be much pleased to accept the hospitality of the
lady you refer to."
He formally introduced
Mr. Pilkins to Miss Bedford. The girl looked at him sweetly and comfortably.
"It's a lovely evening, Mr. Pilkins—don't you think so?" she said
slowly.
Pilkins conducted them
to the crumbly red brick house of the Von der Ruyslings. His card brought Alice
downstairs wondering. The runaways were sent into the drawing-room, while
Pilkins told Alice all about it in the hall.
"Of course, I will
take her in," said Alice. "Haven't those Southern girls a
thoroughbred air? Of course, she will stay here. You will look after Mr.
Clayton, of course."
"Will I?" said
Pilkins, delightedly. "Oh yes, I'll look after him! As a citizen of New
York, and therefore a part owner of its public parks, I'm going to extend to
him the hospitality of Madison Square to-night. He's going to sit there on a
bench till morning. There's no use arguing with him. Isn't he wonderful? I'm
glad you'll look after the little lady, Alice. I tell you those Babes in the
Wood made my—that is, er—made Wall Street and the Bank of England look like
penny arcades."
Miss Von der Ruysling
whisked Miss Bedford of Bedford County up to restful regions upstairs. When she
came down, she put an oblong small pasteboard box into Pilkins' hands.
"Your
present," she said, "that I am returning to you."
"Oh, yes, I
remember," said Pilkins, with a sigh, "the woolly kitten."
He left Clayton on a
park bench, and shook hands with him heartily.
"After I get
work," said the youth, "I'll look you up. Your address is on your
card, isn't it? Thanks. Well, good night. I'm awfully obliged to you for your
kindness. No, thanks, I don't smoke. Good night."
In his room, Pilkins
opened the box and took out the staring, funny kitten, long ago ravaged of his
candy and minus one shoe-button eye. Pilkins looked at it sorrowfully.
"After all,"
he said, "I don't believe that just money alone will—"
And then he gave a shout
and dug into the bottom of the box for something else that had been the
kitten's resting-place—a crushed but red, red, fragrant, glorious, promising
Jacqueminot rose.
IV.THE ENCHANTED PROFILE
There are few
Caliphesses. Women are Scheherazades by birth, predilection, instinct, and
arrangement of the vocal cords. The thousand and one stories are being told
every day by hundreds of thousands of viziers' daughters to their respective
sultans. But the bowstring will get some of 'em yet if they don't watch out.
I heard a story, though,
of one lady Caliph. It isn't precisely an Arabian Nights story, because it
brings in Cinderella, who flourished her dishrag in another epoch and country.
So, if you don't mind the mixed dates (which seem to give it an Eastern
flavour, after all), we'll get along.
In New York there is an
old, old hotel. You have seen woodcuts of it in the magazines. It was built—let's
see—at a time when there was nothing above Fourteenth Street except the old
Indian trail to Boston and Hammerstein's office. Soon the old hostelry will be
torn down. And, as the stout walls are riven apart and the bricks go roaring
down the chutes, crowds of citizens will gather at the nearest corners and weep
over the destruction of a dear old landmark. Civic pride is strongest in New
Bagdad; and the wettest weeper and the loudest howler against the iconoclasts
will be the man (originally from Terre Haute) whose fond memories of the old
hotel are limited to his having been kicked out from its free-lunch counter in
1873.
At this hotel always
stopped Mrs. Maggie Brown. Mrs. Brown was a bony woman of sixty, dressed in the
rustiest black, and carrying a handbag made, apparently, from the hide of the
original animal that Adam decided to call an alligator. She always occupied a
small parlour and bedroom at the top of the hotel at a rental of two dollars
per day. And always, while she was there, each day came hurrying to see her
many men, sharp-faced, anxious-looking, with only seconds to spare. For Maggie
Brown was said to be the third richest woman in the world; and these solicitous
gentlemen were only the city's wealthiest brokers and business men seeking trifling
loans of half a dozen millions or so from the dingy old lady with the
prehistoric handbag.
The stenographer and
typewriter of the Acropolis Hotel (there! I've let the name of it out!) was
Miss Ida Bates. She was a hold-over from the Greek classics. There wasn't a
flaw in her looks. Some old-timer paying his regards to a lady said: "To
have loved her was a liberal education." Well, even to have looked over
the black hair and neat white shirtwaist of Miss Bates was equal to a full
course in any correspondence school in the country. She sometimes did a little
typewriting for me, and, as she refused to take the money in advance, she came
to look upon me as something of a friend and protégé. She had unfailing
kindliness and a good nature; and not even a white-lead drummer or a fur
importer had ever dared to cross the dead line of good behaviour in her
presence. The entire force of the Acropolis, from the owner, who lived in
Vienna, down to the head porter, who had been bedridden for sixteen years,
would have sprung to her defence in a moment.
One day I walked past
Miss Bates's little sanctum Remingtorium, and saw in her place a black-haired
unit—unmistakably a person—pounding with each of her forefingers upon the keys.
Musing on the mutability of temporal affairs, I passed on. The next day I went
on a two weeks' vacation. Returning, I strolled through the lobby of the
Acropolis, and saw, with a little warm glow of auld lang syne, Miss Bates, as
Grecian and kind and flawless as ever, just putting the cover on her machine.
The hour for closing had come; but she asked me in to sit for a few minutes in
the dictation chair. Miss Bates explained her absence from and return to the
Acropolis Hotel in words identical with or similar to these following:
"Well, Man, how are
the stories coming?"
"Pretty
regularly," said I. "About equal to their going."
"I'm sorry,"
said she. "Good typewriting is the main thing in a story. You've missed
me, haven't you?"
"No one," said
I, "whom I have ever known knows as well as you do how to space properly
belt buckles, semi-colons, hotel guests, and hairpins. But you've been away,
too. I saw a package of peppermint-pepsin in your place the other day."
"I was going to
tell you all about it," said Miss Bates, "if you hadn't interrupted
me.
"Of course, you
know about Maggie Brown, who stops here. Well, she's worth $40,000,000. She
lives in Jersey in a ten-dollar flat. She's always got more cash on hand than
half a dozen business candidates for vice-president. I don't know whether she carries
it in her stocking or not, but I know she's mighty popular down in the part of
town where they worship the golden calf.
"Well, about two
weeks ago, Mrs. Brown stops at the door and rubbers at me for ten minutes. I'm
sitting with my side to her, striking off some manifold copies of a copper-mine
proposition for a nice old man from Tonopah. But I always see everything all
around me. When I'm hard at work I can see things through my side-combs; and I
can leave one button unbuttoned in the back of my shirtwaist and see who's
behind me. I didn't look around, because I make from eighteen to twenty dollars
a week, and I didn't have to.
"That evening at
knocking-off time she sends for me to come up to her apartment. I expected to
have to typewrite about two thousand words of notes-of-hand, liens, and
contracts, with a ten-cent tip in sight; but I went. Well, Man, I was certainly
surprised. Old Maggie Brown had turned human.
"'Child,' says she,
'you're the most beautiful creature I ever saw in my life. I want you to quit
your work and come and live with me. I've no kith or kin,' says she, 'except a
husband and a son or two, and I hold no communication with any of 'em. They're
extravagant burdens on a hard-working woman. I want you to be a daughter to me.
They say I'm stingy and mean, and the papers print lies about my doing my own
cooking and washing. It's a lie,' she goes on. 'I put my washing out, except
the handkerchiefs and stockings and petticoats and collars, and light stuff
like that. I've got forty million dollars in cash and stocks and bonds that are
as negotiable as Standard Oil, preferred, at a church fair. I'm a lonely old
woman and I need companionship. You're the most beautiful human being I ever
saw,' says she. 'Will you come and live with me? I'll show 'em whether I can
spend money or not,' she says.
"Well, Man, what
would you have done? Of course, I fell to it. And, to tell you the truth, I
began to like old Maggie. It wasn't all on account of the forty millions and
what she could do for me. I was kind of lonesome in the world too. Everybody's
got to have somebody they can explain to about the pain in their left shoulder
and how fast patent-leather shoes wear out when they begin to crack. And you
can't talk about such things to men you meet in hotels—they're looking for just
such openings.
"So I gave up my
job in the hotel and went with Mrs. Brown. I certainly seemed to have a mash on
her. She'd look at me for half an hour at a time when I was sitting, reading,
or looking at the magazines.
"One time I says to
her: 'Do I remind you of some deceased relative or friend of your childhood,
Mrs. Brown? I've noticed you give me a pretty good optical inspection from time
to time.'
"'You have a face,'
she says, 'exactly like a dear friend of mine—the best friend I ever had. But I
like you for yourself, child, too,' she says.
"And say, Man, what
do you suppose she did? Loosened up like a Marcel wave in the surf at Coney.
She took me to a swell dressmaker and gave her a la carte to
fit me out—money no object. They were rush orders, and madame locked the front
door and put the whole force to work.
"Then we moved
to—where do you think?—no; guess again—that's right—the Hotel Bonton. We had a
six-room apartment; and it cost $100 a day. I saw the bill. I began to love
that old lady.
"And then, Man,
when my dresses began to come in—oh, I won't tell you about 'em! you couldn't
understand. And I began to call her Aunt Maggie. You've read about Cinderella,
of course. Well, what Cinderella said when the prince fitted that 3½ A on her
foot was a hard-luck story compared to the things I told myself.
"Then Aunt Maggie
says she is going to give me a coming-out banquet in the Bonton that'll make
moving Vans of all the old Dutch families on Fifth Avenue.
"'I've been out
before, Aunt Maggie,' says I. 'But I'll come out again. But you know,' says I,
'that this is one of the swellest hotels in the city. And you know—pardon
me—that it's hard to get a bunch of notables together unless you've trained for
it.'
"'Don't fret about
that, child,' says Aunt Maggie. 'I don't send out invitations—I issue orders.
I'll have fifty guests here that couldn't be brought together again at any
reception unless it were given by King Edward or William Travers Jerome. They
are men, of course, and all of 'em either owe me money or intend to. Some of
their wives won't come, but a good many will.'
"Well, I wish you
could have been at that banquet. The dinner service was all gold and cut glass.
There were about forty men and eight ladies present besides Aunt Maggie and I.
You'd never have known the third richest woman in the world. She had on a new
black silk dress with so much passementerie on it that it sounded exactly like
a hailstorm I heard once when I was staying all night with a girl that lived in
a top-floor studio.
"And my dress!—say,
Man, I can't waste the words on you. It was all hand-made lace—where there was
any of it at all—and it cost $300. I saw the bill. The men were all bald-headed
or white-whiskered, and they kept up a running fire of light repartee about
3-per cents. and Bryan and the cotton crop.
"On the left of me
was something that talked like a banker, and on my right was a young fellow who
said he was a newspaper artist. He was the only—well, I was going to tell you.
"After the dinner
was over Mrs. Brown and I went up to the apartment. We had to squeeze our way
through a mob of reporters all the way through the halls. That's one of the
things money does for you. Say, do you happen to know a newspaper artist named
Lathrop—a tall man with nice eyes and an easy way of talking? No, I don't
remember what paper he works on. Well, all right.
"When we got
upstairs Mrs. Brown telephones for the bill right away. It came, and it was
$600. I saw the bill. Aunt Maggie fainted. I got her on a lounge and opened the
bead-work.
"'Child,' says she,
when she got back to the world, 'what was it? A raise of rent or an
income-tax?'
"'Just a little
dinner,' says I. 'Nothing to worry about—hardly a drop in the bucket-shop. Sit
up and take notice—a dispossess notice, if there's no other kind.'
"But say, Man, do
you know what Aunt Maggie did? She got cold feet! She hustled me out of that
Hotel Bonton at nine the next morning. We went to a rooming-house on the lower
West Side. She rented one room that had water on the floor below and light on
the floor above. After we got moved all you could see in the room was about
$1,500 worth of new swell dresses and a one-burner gas-stove.
"Aunt Maggie had
had a sudden attack of the hedges. I guess everybody has got to go on a spree
once in their life. A man spends his on highballs, and a woman gets woozy on
clothes. But with forty million dollars—say, I'd like to have a picture of—but,
speaking of pictures, did you ever run across a newspaper artist named
Lathrop—a tall—oh, I asked you that before, didn't I? He was mighty nice to me
at the dinner. His voice just suited me. I guess he must have thought I was to
inherit some of Aunt Maggie's money.
"Well, Mr. Man,
three days of that light-housekeeping was plenty for me. Aunt Maggie was
affectionate as ever. She'd hardly let me get out of her sight. But let me tell
you. She was a hedger from Hedgersville, Hedger County. Seventy-five cents a
day was the limit she set. We cooked our own meals in the room. There I was,
with a thousand dollars' worth of the latest things in clothes, doing stunts
over a one-burner gas-stove.
"As I say, on the
third day I flew the coop. I couldn't stand for throwing together a
fifteen-cent kidney stew while wearing, at the same time, a $150 house-dress,
with Valenciennes lace insertion. So I goes into the closet and puts on the
cheapest dress Mrs. Brown had bought for me—it's the one I've got on now—not so
bad for $75, is it? I'd left all my own clothes in my sister's flat in
Brooklyn.
"'Mrs. Brown,
formerly "Aunt Maggie,"' says I to her, 'I'm going to extend my feet
alternately, one after the other, in such a manner and direction that this
tenement will recede from me in the quickest possible time. I am no worshipper
of money,' says I, 'but there are some things I can't stand. I can stand the
fabulous monster that I've read about that blows hot birds and cold bottles
with the same breath. But I can't stand a quitter,' says I. 'They say you've
got forty million dollars—well, you'll never have any less. And I was beginning
to like you, too,' says I.
"Well, the late
Aunt Maggie kicks till the tears flow. She offers to move into a swell room
with a two-burner stove and running water.
"'I've spent an
awful lot of money, child,' says she. 'We'll have to economize for a while. You're
the most beautiful creature I ever laid eyes on,' she says, 'and I don't want
you to leave me.'
"Well, you see me,
don't you? I walked straight to the Acropolis and asked for my job back, and I
got it. How did you say your writings were getting along? I know you've lost
out some by not having me to type 'em. Do you ever have 'em illustrated? And,
by the way, did you ever happen to know a newspaper artist—oh, shut up! I know
I asked you before. I wonder what paper he works on? It's funny, but I couldn't
help thinking that he wasn't thinking about the money he might have been
thinking I was thinking I'd get from old Maggie Brown. If I only knew some of
the newspaper editors I'd—"
The sound of an easy
footstep came from the doorway. Ida Bates saw who it was with her back-hair
comb. I saw her turn pink, perfect statue that she was—a miracle that I share
with Pygmalion only.
"Am I
excusable?" she said to me—adorable petitioner that she became.
"It's—it's Mr. Lathrop. I wonder if it really wasn't the money—I wonder,
if after all, he—"
Of course, I was invited
to the wedding. After the ceremony I dragged Lathrop aside.
"You are an
artist," said I, "and haven't figured out why Maggie Brown conceived
such a strong liking for Miss Bates—that was? Let me show you."
The bride wore a simple
white dress as beautifully draped as the costumes of the ancient Greeks. I took
some leaves from one of the decorative wreaths in the little parlour, and made
a chaplet of them, and placed them on née Bates' shining chestnut hair, and
made her turn her profile to her husband.
"By jingo!"
said he. "Isn't Ida's a dead ringer for the lady's head on the silver
dollar?"
V."NEXT TO READING MATTER"
He compelled my interest
as he stepped from the ferry at Desbrosses Street. He had the air of being
familiar with hemispheres and worlds, and of entering New York as the lord of a
demesne who revisited it in after years of absence. But I thought that, with
all his air, he had never before set foot on the slippery cobblestones of the
City of Too Many Caliphs.
He wore loose clothes of
a strange bluish drab colour, and a conservative, round Panama hat without the
cock-a-loop indentations and cants with which Northern fanciers disfigure the
tropic head-gear. Moreover, he was the homeliest man I have ever seen. His
ugliness was less repellent than startling—arising from a sort of Lincolnian
ruggedness and irregularity of feature that spellbound you with wonder and
dismay. So may have looked afrites or the shapes metamorphosed from the vapour
of the fisherman's vase. As he afterward told me, his name was Judson Tate; and
he may as well be called so at once. He wore his green silk tie through a topaz
ring; and he carried a cane made of the vertebræ of a shark.
Judson Tate accosted me
with some large and casual inquiries about the city's streets and hotels, in
the manner of one who had but for the moment forgotten the trifling details. I
could think of no reason for disparaging my own quiet hotel in the downtown
district; so the mid-morning of the night found us already victualed and
drinked (at my expense), and ready to be chaired and tobaccoed in a quiet
corner of the lobby.
There was something on
Judson Tate's mind, and, such as it was, he tried to convey it to me. Already
he had accepted me as his friend; and when I looked at his great, snuff-brown
first-mate's hand, with which he brought emphasis to his periods, within six
inches of my nose, I wondered if, by any chance, he was as sudden in conceiving
enmity against strangers.
When this man began to talk
I perceived in him a certain power. His voice was a persuasive instrument, upon
which he played with a somewhat specious but effective art. He did not try to
make you forget his ugliness; he flaunted it in your face and made it part of
the charm of his speech. Shutting your eyes, you would have trailed after this
rat-catcher's pipes at least to the walls of Hamelin. Beyond that you would
have had to be more childish to follow. But let him play his own tune to the
words set down, so that if all is too dull, the art of music may bear the
blame.
"Women," said
Judson Tate, "are mysterious creatures."
My spirits sank. I was
not there to listen to such a world-old hypothesis—to such a time-worn,
long-ago-refuted, bald, feeble, illogical, vicious, patent sophistry—to an
ancient, baseless, wearisome, ragged, unfounded, insidious, falsehood
originated by women themselves, and by them insinuated, foisted, thrust,
spread, and ingeniously promulgated into the ears of mankind by underhanded,
secret and deceptive methods, for the purpose of augmenting, furthering, and
reinforcing their own charms and designs.
"Oh, I don't
know!" said I, vernacularly.
"Have you ever
heard of Oratama?" he asked.
"Possibly," I
answered. "I seem to recall a toe dancer—or a suburban addition—or was it
a perfume?—of some such name."
"It is a
town," said Judson Tate, "on the coast of a foreign country of which
you know nothing and could understand less. It is a country governed by a
dictator and controlled by revolutions and insubordination. It was there that a
great life-drama was played, with Judson Tate, the homeliest man in America,
and Fergus McMahan, the handsomest adventurer in history or fiction, and
Señorita Anabela Zamora, the beautiful daughter of the alcalde of Oratama, as
chief actors. And, another thing—nowhere else on the globe except in the
department of Trienta y tres in Uruguay does the chuchula plant
grow. The products of the country I speak of are valuable woods, dyestuffs,
gold, rubber, ivory, and cocoa."
"I was not
aware," said I, "that South America produced any ivory."
"There you are
twice mistaken," said Judson Tate, distributing the words over at least an
octave of his wonderful voice. "I did not say that the country I spoke of
was in South America—I must be careful, my dear man; I have been in politics
there, you know. But, even so—I have played chess against its president with a
set carved from the nasal bones of the tapir—one of our native specimens of the
order of perissodactyle ungulates inhabiting the
Cordilleras—which was as pretty ivory as you would care to see.
"But is was of
romance and adventure and the ways of women that was I going to tell you, and
not of zoölogical animals.
"For fifteen years
I was the ruling power behind old Sancho Benavides, the Royal High Thumbscrew
of the republic. You've seen his picture in the papers—a mushy black man with
whiskers like the notes on a Swiss music-box cylinder, and a scroll in his
right hand like the ones they write births on in the family Bible. Well, that
chocolate potentate used to be the biggest item of interest anywhere between
the colour line and the parallels of latitude. It was three throws, horses,
whether he was to wind up in the Hall of Fame or the Bureau of Combustibles.
He'd have been sure called the Roosevelt of the Southern Continent if it hadn't
been that Grover Cleveland was President at the time. He'd hold office a couple
of terms, then he'd sit out for a hand—always after appointing his own
successor for the interims.
"But it was not
Benavides, the Liberator, who was making all this fame for himself. Not him. It
was Judson Tate. Benavides was only the chip over the bug. I gave him the tip
when to declare war and increase import duties and wear his state trousers. But
that wasn't what I wanted to tell you. How did I get to be It? I'll tell you.
Because I'm the most gifted talker that ever made vocal sounds since Adam first
opened his eyes, pushed aside the smelling-salts, and asked: 'Where am I?'
"As you observe, I
am about the ugliest man you ever saw outside the gallery of photographs of the
New England early Christian Scientists. So, at an early age, I perceived that
what I lacked in looks I must make up in eloquence. That I've done. I get what
I go after. As the back-stop and still small voice of old Benavides I made all
the great historical powers-behind-the-throne, such as Talleyrand, Mrs. de
Pompadour, and Loeb, look as small as the minority report of a Duma. I could
talk nations into or out of debt, harangue armies to sleep on the battlefield,
reduce insurrections, inflammations, taxes, appropriations or surpluses with a
few words, and call up the dogs of war or the dove of peace with the same
bird-like whistle. Beauty and epaulettes and curly moustaches and Grecian
profiles in other men were never in my way. When people first look at me they
shudder. Unless they are in the last stages of angina pectoris they
are mine in ten minutes after I begin to talk. Women and men—I win 'em as they
come. Now, you wouldn't think women would fancy a man with a face like mine,
would you?"
"Oh, yes, Mr.
Tate," said I. "History is bright and fiction dull with homely men
who have charmed women. There seems—"
"Pardon me,"
interrupted Judson Tate, "but you don't quite understand. You have yet to
hear my story.
"Fergus McMahan was
a friend of mine in the capital. For a handsome man I'll admit he was the
duty-free merchandise. He had blond curls and laughing blue eyes and was
featured regular. They said he was a ringer for the statue they call Herr Mees,
the god of speech and eloquence resting in some museum at Rome. Some German
anarchist, I suppose. They are always resting and talking.
"But Fergus was no
talker. He was brought up with the idea that to be beautiful was to make good.
His conversation was about as edifying as listening to a leak dropping in a tin
dish-pan at the head of the bed when you want to go to sleep. But he and me got
to be friends—maybe because we was so opposite, don't you think? Looking at the
Hallowe'en mask that I call my face when I'm shaving seemed to give Fergus
pleasure; and I'm sure that whenever I heard the feeble output of throat noises
that he called conversation I felt contented to be a gargoyle with a silver
tongue.
"One time I found
it necessary to go down to this coast town of Oratama to straighten out a lot
of political unrest and chop off a few heads in the customs and military
departments. Fergus, who owned the ice and sulphur-match concessions of the
republic, says he'll keep me company.
"So, in a jangle of
mule-train bells, we gallops into Oratama, and the town belonged to us as much
as Long Island Sound doesn't belong to Japan when T. R. is at Oyster Bay. I say
us; but I mean me. Everybody for four nations, two oceans, one bay and isthmus,
and five archipelagoes around had heard of Judson Tate. Gentleman adventurer,
they called me. I had been written up in five columns of the yellow journals,
40,000 words (with marginal decorations) in a monthly magazine, and a stickful
on the twelfth page of the New York Times. If the beauty of Fergus
McMahan gained any part of our reception in Oratama, I'll eat the price-tag in
my Panama. It was me that they hung out paper flowers and palm branches for. I
am not a jealous man; I am stating facts. The people were Nebuchadnezzars; they
bit the grass before me; there was no dust in the town for them to bite. They
bowed down to Judson Tate. They knew that I was the power behind Sancho
Benavides. A word from me was more to them than a whole deckle-edged library
from East Aurora in sectional bookcases was from anybody else. And yet there
are people who spend hours fixing their faces—rubbing in cold cream and
massaging the muscles (always toward the eyes) and taking in the slack with
tincture of benzoin and electrolyzing moles—to what end? Looking handsome. Oh, what
a mistake! It's the larynx that the beauty doctors ought to work on. It's words
more than warts, talk more than talcum, palaver more than powder, blarney more
than bloom that counts—the phonograph instead of the photograph. But I was
going to tell you.
"The local Astors
put me and Fergus up at the Centipede Club, a frame building built on posts
sunk in the surf. The tide's only nine inches. The Little Big High Low
Jack-in-the-game of the town came around and kowtowed. Oh, it wasn't to Herr
Mees. They had heard about Judson Tate.
"One afternoon me
and Fergus McMahan was sitting on the seaward gallery of the Centipede,
drinking iced rum and talking.
"'Judson,' says
Fergus, 'there's an angel in Oratama.'
"'So long,' says I,
'as it ain't Gabriel, why talk as if you had heard a trump blow?'
"'It's the Señorita
Anabela Zamora,' says Fergus. 'She's—she's—she's as lovely as—as hell!'
"'Bravo!' says I,
laughing heartily. 'You have a true lover's eloquence to paint the beauties of
your inamorata. You remind me,' says I, 'of Faust's wooing of Marguerite—that
is, if he wooed her after he went down the trap-door of the stage.'
"'Judson,' says
Fergus, 'you know you are as beautiless as a rhinoceros. You can't have any
interest in women. I'm awfully gone in Miss Anabela. And that's why I'm telling
you.'
"'Oh, seguramente,'
says I. 'I know I have a front elevation like an Aztec god that guards a buried
treasure that never did exist in Jefferson County, Yucatan. But there are
compensations. For instance, I am It in this country as far as the eye can
reach, and then a few perches and poles. And again,' says I, 'when I engage
people in a set-to of oral, vocal, and laryngeal utterances, I do not usually
confine my side of the argument to what may be likened to a cheap phonographic
reproduction of the ravings of a jellyfish.'
"'Oh, I know,' says
Fergus, amiable, 'that I'm not handy at small talk. Or large, either. That's
why I'm telling you. I want you to help me.'
"'How can I do it?'
I asked.
"'I have
subsidized,' says Fergus, 'the services of Señorita Anabela's duenna, whose
name is Francesca. You have a reputation in this country, Judson,' says Fergus,
'of being a great man and a hero.'
"'I have,' says I.
'And I deserve it.'
"'And I,' says
Fergus, 'am the best-looking man between the arctic circle and antarctic ice
pack.'
"'With
limitations,' says I, 'as to physiognomy and geography, I freely concede you to
be.'
"'Between the two
of us,' says Fergus, 'we ought to land the Señorita Anabela Zamora. The lady,
as you know, is of an old Spanish family, and further than looking at her
driving in the family carruaje of afternoons around the plaza,
or catching a glimpse of her through a barred window of evenings, she is as
unapproachable as a star.'
"'Land her for
which one of us?' says I.
"'For me, of
course,' says Fergus. 'You've never seen her. Now, I've had Francesca point me
out to her as being you on several occasions. When she sees me on the plaza,
she thinks she's looking at Don Judson Tate, the greatest hero, statesman, and
romantic figure in the country. With your reputation and my looks combined in
one man, how can she resist him? She's heard all about your thrilling history,
of course. And she's seen me. Can any woman want more?' asks Fergus McMahan.
"'Can she do with
less?' I ask. 'How can we separate our mutual attractions, and how shall we
apportion the proceeds?'
"Then Fergus tells
me his scheme.
"The house of the
alcalde, Don Luis Zamora, he says, has a patio, of course—a kind of
inner courtyard opening from the street. In an angle of it is his daughter's
window—as dark a place as you could find. And what do you think he wants me to
do? Why, knowing my freedom, charm, and skilfulness of tongue, he proposes that
I go into the patio at midnight, when the hobgoblin face of me
cannot be seen, and make love to her for him—for the pretty man that she has
seen on the plaza, thinking him to be Don Judson Tate.
"Why shouldn't I do
it for him—for my friend, Fergus McMahan? For him to ask me was a compliment—an
acknowledgment of his own shortcomings.
"'You little, lily
white, fine-haired, highly polished piece of dumb sculpture,' says I, 'I'll
help you. Make your arrangements and get me in the dark outside her window and
my stream of conversation opened up with the moonlight tremolo stop turned on,
and she's yours.'
"'Keep your face
hid, Jud,' says Fergus. 'For heaven's sake, keep your face hid. I'm a friend of
yours in all kinds of sentiment, but this is a business deal. If I could talk I
wouldn't ask you. But seeing me and listening to you I don't see why she can't
be landed.'
"'By you?' says I.
"'By me,' says
Fergus.
"Well, Fergus and
the duenna, Francesca, attended to the details. And one night they fetched me a
long black cloak with a high collar, and led me to the house at midnight. I
stood by the window in the patio until I heard a voice as soft
and sweet as an angel's whisper on the other side of the bars. I could see only
a faint, white clad shape inside; and, true to Fergus, I pulled the collar of
my cloak high up, for it was July in the wet seasons, and the nights were
chilly. And, smothering a laugh as I thought of the tongue-tied Fergus, I began
to talk.
"Well, sir, I
talked an hour at the Señorita Anabela. I say 'at' because it was not 'with.'
Now and then she would say: 'Oh, Señor,' or 'Now, ain't you foolin'?' or 'I
know you don't mean that,' and such things as women will when they are being
rightly courted. Both of us knew English and Spanish; so in two languages I
tried to win the heart of the lady for my friend Fergus. But for the bars to
the window I could have done it in one. At the end of the hour she dismissed me
and gave me a big, red rose. I handed it over to Fergus when I got home.
"For three weeks
every third or fourth night I impersonated my friend in the patio at
the window of Señorita Anabela. At last she admitted that her heart was mine,
and spoke of having seen me every afternoon when she drove in the plaza. It was
Fergus she had seen, of course. But it was my talk that won her. Suppose Fergus
had gone there, and tried to make a hit in the dark with his beauty all
invisible, and not a word to say for himself!
"On the last night
she promised to be mine—that is, Fergus's. And she put her hand between the
bars for me to kiss. I bestowed the kiss and took the news to Fergus.
"'You might have
left that for me to do,' says he.
"'That'll be your
job hereafter,' says I. 'Keep on doing that and don't try to talk. Maybe after
she thinks she's in love she won't notice the difference between real
conversation and the inarticulate sort of droning that you give forth.'
"Now, I had never
seen Señorita Anabela. So, the next day Fergus asks me to walk with him through
the plaza and view the daily promenade and exhibition of Oratama society, a
sight that had no interest for me. But I went; and children and dogs took to
the banana groves and mangrove swamps as soon as they had a look at my face.
"'Here she comes,'
said Fergus, twirling his moustache—'the one in white, in the open carriage
with the black horse.'
"I looked and felt
the ground rock under my feet. For Señorita Anabela Zamora was the most
beautiful woman in the world, and the only one from that moment on, so far as
Judson Tate was concerned. I saw at a glance that I must be hers and she mine
forever. I thought of my face and nearly fainted; and then I thought of my
other talents and stood upright again. And I had been wooing her for three
weeks for another man!
"As Señorita
Anabela's carriage rolled slowly past, she gave Fergus a long, soft glance from
the corners of her night-black eyes, a glance that would have sent Judson Tate
up into heaven in a rubber-tired chariot. But she never looked at me. And that
handsome man only ruffles his curls and smirks and prances like a lady-killer
at my side.
"'What do you think
of her, Judson?' asks Fergus, with an air.
"'This much,' says
I. 'She is to be Mrs. Judson Tate. I am no man to play tricks on a friend. So
take your warning.'
"I thought Fergus
would die laughing.
"'Well, well,
well,' said he, 'you old doughface! Struck too, are you? That's great! But
you're too late. Francesca tells me that Anabela talks of nothing but me, day
and night. Of course, I'm awfully obliged to you for making that chin-music to
her of evenings. But, do you know, I've an idea that I could have done it as well
myself.'
"'Mrs. Judson
Tate,' says I. 'Don't forget the name. You've had the use of my tongue to go
with your good looks, my boy. You can't lend me your looks; but hereafter my
tongue is my own. Keep your mind on the name that's to be on the visiting cards
two inches by three and a half—"Mrs. Judson Tate." That's all.'
"'All right,' says
Fergus, laughing again. 'I've talked with her father, the alcalde, and he's
willing. He's to give a baile to-morrow evening in his new
warehouse. If you were a dancing man, Jud, I'd expect you around to meet the
future Mrs. McMahan.'
"But on the next
evening, when the music was playing loudest at the Alcade Zamora's baile,
into the room steps Judson Tate in new white linen clothes as if he were the
biggest man in the whole nation, which he was.
"Some of the
musicians jumped off the key when they saw my face, and one or two of the
timidest señoritas let out a screech or two. But up prances the alcalde and
almost wipes the dust off my shoes with his forehead. No mere good looks could
have won me that sensational entrance.
"'I hear much,
Señor Zamora,' says I, 'of the charm of your daughter. It would give me great
pleasure to be presented to her.'
"There were about
six dozen willow rocking-chairs, with pink tidies tied on to them, arranged
against the walls. In one of them sat Señorita Anabela in white Swiss and red
slippers, with pearls and fireflies in her hair. Fergus was at the other end of
the room trying to break away from two maroons and a claybank girl.
"The alcalde leads
me up to Anabela and presents me. When she took the first look at my face she
dropped her fan and nearly turned her chair over from the shock. But I'm used
to that.
"I sat down by her,
and began to talk. When she heard me speak she jumped, and her eyes got as big
as alligator pears. She couldn't strike a balance between the tones of my voice
and face I carried. But I kept on talking in the key of C, which is the ladies'
key; and presently she sat still in her chair and a dreamy look came into her
eyes. She was coming my way. She knew of Judson Tate, and what a big man he
was, and the big things he had done; and that was in my favour. But, of course,
it was some shock to her to find out that I was not the pretty man that had
been pointed out to her as the great Judson. And then I took the Spanish
language, which is better than English for certain purposes, and played on it
like a harp of a thousand strings. I ranged from the second G below the staff
up to F-sharp above it. I set my voice to poetry, art, romance, flowers, and
moonlight. I repeated some of the verses that I had murmured to her in the dark
at her window; and I knew from a sudden soft sparkle in her eye that she
recognized in my voice the tones of her midnight mysterious wooer.
"Anyhow, I had Fergus
McMahan going. Oh, the vocal is the true art—no doubt about that. Handsome is
as handsome palavers. That's the renovated proverb.
"I took Señorita
Anabela for a walk in the lemon grove while Fergus, disfiguring himself with an
ugly frown, was waltzing with the claybank girl. Before we returned I had
permission to come to her window in the patio the next evening
at midnight and talk some more.
"Oh, it was easy
enough. In two weeks Anabela was engaged to me, and Fergus was out. He took it
calm, for a handsome man, and told me he wasn't going to give in.
"'Talk may be all
right in its place, Judson,' he says to me, 'although I've never thought it
worth cultivating. But,' says he, 'to expect mere words to back up successfully
a face like yours in a lady's good graces is like expecting a man to make a
square meal on the ringing of a dinner-bell.'
"But I haven't
begun on the story I was going to tell you yet.
"One day I took a
long ride in the hot sunshine, and then took a bath in the cold waters of a
lagoon on the edge of the town before I'd cooled off.
"That evening after
dark I called at the alcalde's to see Anabela. I was calling regular every
evening then, and we were to be married in a month. She was looking like a
bulbul, a gazelle, and a tea-rose, and her eyes were as soft and bright as two
quarts of cream skimmed off from the Milky Way. She looked at my rugged
features without any expression of fear or repugnance. Indeed, I fancied that I
saw a look of deep admiration and affection, such as she had cast at Fergus on
the plaza.
"I sat down, and
opened my mouth to tell Anabela what she loved to hear—that she was a trust,
monopolizing all the loveliness of earth. I opened my mouth, and instead of the
usual vibrating words of love and compliment, there came forth a faint wheeze
such as a baby with croup might emit. Not a word—not a syllable—not an
intelligible sound. I had caught cold in my laryngeal regions when I took my
injudicious bath.
"For two hours I
sat trying to entertain Anabela. She talked a certain amount, but it was
perfunctory and diluted. The nearest approach I made to speech was to formulate
a sound like a clam trying to sing 'A Life on the Ocean Wave' at low tide. It
seemed that Anabela's eyes did not rest upon me as often as usual. I had nothing
with which to charm her ears. We looked at pictures and she played the guitar
occasionally, very badly. When I left, her parting manner seemed cool—or at
least thoughtful.
"This happened for
five evenings consecutively.
"On the sixth day
she ran away with Fergus McMahan.
"It was known that
they fled in a sailing yacht bound for Belize. I was only eight hours behind
them in a small steam launch belonging to the Revenue Department.
"Before I sailed, I
rushed into the botica of old Manuel Iquito, a half-breed
Indian druggist. I could not speak, but I pointed to my throat and made a sound
like escaping steam. He began to yawn. In an hour, according to the customs of
the country, I would have been waited on. I reached across the counter, seized
him by the throat, and pointed again to my own. He yawned once more, and thrust
into my hand a small bottle containing a black liquid.
"'Take one small
spoonful every two hours,' says he.
"I threw him a
dollar and skinned for the steamer.
"I steamed into the
harbour at Belize thirteen seconds behind the yacht that Anabela and Fergus
were on. They started for the shore in a dory just as my skiff was lowered over
the side. I tried to order my sailormen to row faster, but the sounds died in
my larynx before they came to the light. Then I thought of old Iquito's
medicine, and I got out his bottle and took a swallow of it.
"The two boats
landed at the same moment. I walked straight up to Anabela and Fergus. Her eyes
rested upon me for an instant; then she turned them, full of feeling and
confidence, upon Fergus. I knew I could not speak, but I was desperate. In
speech lay my only hope. I could not stand beside Fergus and challenge
comparison in the way of beauty. Purely involuntarily, my larynx and epiglottis
attempted to reproduce the sounds that my mind was calling upon my vocal organs
to send forth.
"To my intense
surprise and delight the words rolled forth beautifully clear, resonant,
exquisitely modulated, full of power, expression, and long-repressed emotion.
"'Señorita Anabela,'
says I, 'may I speak with you aside for a moment?'
"You don't want
details about that, do you? Thanks. The old eloquence had come back all right.
I led her under a cocoanut palm and put my old verbal spell on her again.
"'Judson,' says
she, 'when you are talking to me I can hear nothing else—I can see nothing
else—there is nothing and nobody else in the world for me.'
"Well, that's about
all of the story. Anabela went back to Oratama in the steamer with me. I never
heard what became of Fergus. I never saw him any more. Anabela is now Mrs.
Judson Tate. Has my story bored you much?"
"No," said I.
"I am always interested in psychological studies. A human heart—and
especially a woman's—is a wonderful thing to contemplate."
"It is," said
Judson Tate. "And so are the trachea and bronchial tubes of man. And the
larynx too. Did you ever make a study of the windpipe?"
"Never," said
I. "But I have taken much pleasure in your story. May I ask after Mrs.
Tate, and inquire of her present health and whereabouts?"
"Oh, sure,"
said Judson Tate. "We are living in Bergen Avenue, Jersey City. The
climate down in Oratama didn't suit Mrs. T. I don't suppose you ever dissected
the arytenoid cartilages of the epiglottis, did you?"
"Why, no,"
said I, "I am no surgeon."
"Pardon me,"
said Judson Tate, "but every man should know enough of anatomy and
therapeutics to safeguard his own health. A sudden cold may set up capillary
bronchitis or inflammation of the pulmonary vesicles, which may result in a
serious affection of the vocal organs."
"Perhaps so,"
said I, with some impatience; "but that is neither here nor there.
Speaking of the strange manifestations of the affection of women, I—"
"Yes, yes,"
interrupted Judson Tate; "they have peculiar ways. But, as I was going to
tell you: when I went back to Oratama I found out from Manuel Iquito what was
in that mixture he gave me for my lost voice. I told you how quick it cured me.
He made that stuff from the chuchula plant. Now, look
here."
Judson Tate drew an
oblong, white pasteboard box from his pocket.
"For any
cough," he said, "or cold, or hoarseness, or bronchial affection
whatsoever, I have here the greatest remedy in the world. You see the formula,
printed on the box. Each tablet contains licorice, 2 grains; balsam tolu, 1/10
grain; oil of anise, 1/20 minim; oil of tar, 1/60 minim; oleo-resin of cubebs,
1/60 minim; fluid extract of chuchula, 1/10 minim.
"I am in New
York," went on Judson Tate, "for the purpose of organizing a company
to market the greatest remedy for throat affections ever discovered. At present
I am introducing the lozenges in a small way. I have here a box containing four
dozen, which I am selling for the small sum of fifty cents. If you are
suffering—"
I got up and went away
without a word. I walked slowly up to the little park near my hotel, leaving
Judson Tate alone with his conscience. My feelings were lacerated. He had
poured gently upon me a story that I might have used. There was a little of the
breath of life in it, and some of the synthetic atmosphere that passes, when
cunningly tinkered, in the marts. And, at the last it had proven to be a
commercial pill, deftly coated with the sugar of fiction. The worst of it was
that I could not offer it for sale. Advertising departments and counting-rooms
look down upon me. And it would never do for the literary. Therefore I sat upon
a bench with other disappointed ones until my eyelids drooped.
I went to my room, and,
as my custom is, read for an hour stories in my favourite magazines. This was
to get my mind back to art again.
And as I read each
story, I threw the magazines sadly and hopelessly, one by one, upon the floor.
Each author, without one exception to bring balm to my heart, wrote liltingly
and sprightly a story of some particular make of motor-car that seemed to
control the sparking plug of his genius.
And when the last one
was hurled from me I took heart.
"If readers can
swallow so many proprietary automobiles," I said to myself, "they
ought not to strain at one of Tate's Compound Magic Chuchula Bronchial Lozenges."
And so if you see this
story in print you will understand that business is business, and that if Art
gets very far ahead of Commerce, she will have to get up and hustle.
I may as well add, to
make a clean job of it, that you can't buy the chuchula plant
in the drug stores.
VI.ART AND THE BRONCO
Out of the wilderness
had come a painter. Genius, whose coronations alone are democratic, had woven a
chaplet of chaparral for the brow of Lonny Briscoe. Art, whose divine
expression flows impartially from the fingertips of a cowboy or a dilettante
emperor, had chosen for a medium the Boy Artist of the San Saba. The outcome,
seven feet by twelve of besmeared canvas, stood, gilt-framed, in the lobby of
the Capitol.
The legislature was in
session; the capital city of that great Western state was enjoying the season
of activity and profit that the congregation of the solons bestowed. The
boarding-houses were corralling the easy dollars of the gamesome lawmakers. The
greatest state in the West, an empire in area and resources, had arisen and
repudiated the old libel or barbarism, lawbreaking, and bloodshed. Order
reigned within her borders. Life and property were as safe there, sir, as
anywhere among the corrupt cities of the effete East. Pillow-shams, churches,
strawberry feasts and habeas corpus flourished. With impunity
might the tenderfoot ventilate his "stovepipe" or his theories of
culture. The arts and sciences received nurture and subsidy. And, therefore, it
behooved the legislature of this great state to make appropriation for the
purchase of Lonny Briscoe's immortal painting.
Rarely has the San Saba
country contributed to the spread of the fine arts. Its sons have excelled in
the solider graces, in the throw of the lariat, the manipulation of the esteemed
.45, the intrepidity of the one-card draw, and the nocturnal stimulation of
towns from undue lethargy; but, hitherto, it had not been famed as a stronghold
of æsthetics. Lonny Briscoe's brush had removed that disability. Here, among
the limestone rocks, the succulent cactus, and the drought-parched grass of
that arid valley, had been born the Boy Artist. Why he came to woo art is
beyond postulation. Beyond doubt, some spore of the afflatus must have sprung
up within him in spite of the desert soil of San Saba. The tricksy spirit of
creation must have incited him to attempted expression and then have sat
hilarious among the white-hot sands of the valley, watching its mischievous
work. For Lonny's picture, viewed as a thing of art, was something to have
driven away dull care from the bosoms of the critics.
The painting—one might
almost say panorama—was designed to portray a typical Western scene, interest
culminating in a central animal figure, that of a stampeding steer, life-size,
wild-eyed, fiery, breaking away in a mad rush from the herd that, close-ridden
by a typical cowpuncher, occupied a position somewhat in the right background
of the picture. The landscape presented fitting and faithful accessories.
Chaparral, mesquit, and pear were distributed in just proportions. A Spanish
dagger-plant, with its waxen blossoms in a creamy aggregation as large as a
water-bucket, contributed floral beauty and variety. The distance was
undulating prairie, bisected by stretches of the intermittent streams peculiar to
the region lined with the rich green of live-oak and water-elm. A richly
mottled rattlesnake lay coiled beneath a pale green clump of prickly pear in
the foreground. A third of the canvas was ultramarine and lake white—the
typical Western sky and the flying clouds, rainless and feathery.
Between two plastered
pillars in the commodious hallway near the door of the chamber of
representatives stood the painting. Citizens and lawmakers passed there by twos
and groups and sometimes crowds to gaze upon it. Many—perhaps a majority of
them—had lived the prairie life and recalled easily the familiar scene. Old
cattlemen stood, reminiscent and candidly pleased, chatting with brothers of
former camps and trails of the days it brought back to mind. Art critics were few
in the town, and there was heard none of that jargon of colour, perspective,
and feeling such as the East loves to use as a curb and a rod to the
pretensions of the artist. 'Twas a great picture, most of them agreed, admiring
the gilt frame—larger than any they had ever seen.
Senator Kinney was the
picture's champion and sponsor. It was he who so often stepped forward and
asserted, with the voice of a bronco-buster, that it would be a lasting blot,
sir, upon the name of this great state if it should decline to recognize in a
proper manner the genius that had so brilliantly transferred to imperishable
canvas a scene so typical of the great sources of our state's wealth and
prosperity, land—and—er—live-stock.
Senator Kinney
represented a section of the state in the extreme West—400 miles from the San
Saba country—but the true lover of art is not limited by metes and bounds. Nor
was Senator Mullens, representing the San Saba country, lukewarm in his belief
that the state should purchase the painting of his constituent. He was advised
that the San Saba country was unanimous in its admiration of the great painting
by one of its own denizens. Hundreds of connoisseurs had straddled their
broncos and ridden miles to view it before its removal to the capital. Senator
Mullens desired reëlection, and he knew the importance of the San Saba vote. He
also knew that with the help of Senator Kinney—who was a power in the
legislature—the thing could be put through. Now, Senator Kinney had an
irrigation bill that he wanted passed for the benefit of his own section, and
he knew Senator Mullens could render him valuable aid and information, the San
Saba country already enjoying the benefits of similar legislation. With these
interests happily dovetailed, wonder at the sudden interest in art at the state
capital must, necessarily, be small. Few artists have uncovered their first
picture to the world under happier auspices than did Lonny Briscoe.
Senators Kinney and
Mullens came to an understanding in the matter of irrigation and art while
partaking of long drinks in the café of the Empire Hotel.
"H'm!" said
Senator Kinney, "I don't know. I'm no art critic, but it seems to me the
thing won't work. It looks like the worst kind of a chromo to me. I don't want
to cast any reflections upon the artistic talent of your constituent, Senator,
but I, myself, wouldn't give six bits for the picture—without the frame. How
are you going to cram a thing like that down the throat of a legislature that
kicks about a little item in the expense bill of six hundred and eighty-one
dollars for rubber erasers for only one term? It's wasting time. I'd like to
help you, Mullens, but they'd laugh us out of the Senate chamber if we were to
try it."
"But you don't get
the point," said Senator Mullens, in his deliberate tones, tapping
Kinney's glass with his long forefinger. "I have my own doubts as to what
the picture is intended to represent, a bullfight or a Japanese allegory, but I
want this legislature to make an appropriation to purchase. Of course, the subject
of the picture should have been in the state historical line, but it's too late
to have the paint scraped off and changed. The state won't miss the money and
the picture can be stowed away in a lumber-room where it won't annoy any one.
Now, here's the point to work on, leaving art to look after itself—the chap
that painted the picture is the grandson of Lucien Briscoe."
"Say it
again," said Kinney, leaning his head thoughtfully. "Of the old,
original Lucien Briscoe?"
"Of him. 'The man
who,' you know. The man who carved the state out of the wilderness. The man who
settled the Indians. The man who cleaned out the horse thieves. The man who
refused the crown. The state's favourite son. Do you see the point now?"
"Wrap up the
picture," said Kinney. "It's as good as sold. Why didn't you say that
at first, instead of philandering along about art. I'll resign my seat in the
Senate and go back to chain-carrying for the county surveyor the day I can't
make this state buy a picture calcimined by a grandson of Lucien Briscoe. Did
you ever hear of a special appropriation for the purchase of a home for the
daughter of One-Eyed Smothers? Well, that went through like a motion to
adjourn, and old One-Eyed never killed half as many Indians as Briscoe did.
About what figure had you and the calciminer agreed upon to sandbag the
treasury for?"
"I thought,"
said Mullens, "that maybe five hundred—"
"Five
hundred!" interrupted Kinney, as he hammered on his glass for a lead
pencil and looked around for a waiter. "Only five hundred for a red steer
on the hoof delivered by a grandson of Lucien Briscoe! Where's your state
pride, man? Two thousand is what it'll be. You'll introduce the bill and I'll
get up on the floor of the Senate and wave the scalp of every Indian old Lucien
ever murdered. Let's see, there was something else proud and foolish he did,
wasn't there? Oh, yes; he declined all emoluments and benefits he was entitled
to. Refused his head-right and veteran donation certificates. Could have been
governor, but wouldn't. Declined a pension. Now's the state's chance to pay up.
It'll have to take the picture, but then it deserves some punishment for
keeping the Briscoe family waiting so long. We'll bring this thing up about the
middle of the month, after the tax bill is settled. Now, Mullens, you send
over, as soon as you can, and get me the figures on the cost of those
irrigation ditches and the statistics about the increased production per acre.
I'm going to need you when that bill of mine comes up. I reckon we'll be able
to pull along pretty well together this session and maybe others to come, eh,
Senator?"
Thus did fortune elect
to smile upon the Boy Artist of the San Saba. Fate had already done her share
when she arranged his atoms in the cosmogony of creation as the grandson of
Lucien Briscoe.
The original Briscoe had
been a pioneer both as to territorial occupation and in certain acts prompted
by a great and simple heart. He had been one of the first settlers and
crusaders against the wild forces of nature, the savage and the shallow
politician. His name and memory were revered, equally with any upon the list
comprising Houston, Boone, Crockett, Clark, and Green. He had lived simply,
independently, and unvexed by ambition. Even a less shrewd man than Senator
Kinney could have prophesied that his state would hasten to honour and reward
his grandson, come out of the chaparral at even so late a day.
And so, before the great
picture by the door of the chamber of representatives at frequent times for
many days could be found the breezy, robust form of Senator Kinney and be heard
his clarion voice reciting the past deeds of Lucien Briscoe in connection with
the handiwork of his grandson. Senator Mullens's work was more subdued in sight
and sound, but directed along identical lines.
Then, as the day for the
introduction of the bill for appropriation draws nigh, up from the San Saba
country rides Lonny Briscoe and a loyal lobby of cowpunchers, bronco-back, to
boost the cause of art and glorify the name of friendship, for Lonny is one of
them, a knight of stirrup and chaparreras, as handy with the lariat and .45 as
he is with brush and palette.
On a March afternoon the
lobby dashed, with a whoop, into town. The cowpunchers had adjusted their garb
suitably from that prescribed for the range to the more conventional
requirements of town. They had conceded their leather chaparreras and
transferred their six-shooters and belts from their persons to the horns of
their saddles. Among them rode Lonny, a youth of twenty-three, brown,
solemn-faced, ingenuous, bowlegged, reticent, bestriding Hot Tamales, the most
sagacious cow pony west of the Mississippi. Senator Mullens had informed him of
the bright prospects of the situation; had even mentioned—so great was his
confidence in the capable Kinney—the price that the state would, in all
likelihood, pay. It seemed to Lonny that fame and fortune were in his hands.
Certainly, a spark of the divine fire was in the little brown centaur's breast,
for he was counting the two thousand dollars as but a means to future
development of his talent. Some day he would paint a picture even greater than
this—one, say, twelve feet by twenty, full of scope and atmosphere and action.
During the three days
that yet intervened before the coming of the date fixed for the introduction of
the bill, the centaur lobby did valiant service. Coatless, spurred,
weather-tanned, full of enthusiasm expressed in bizarre terms, they loafed in
front of the painting with tireless zeal. Reasoning not unshrewdly, they
estimated that their comments upon its fidelity to nature would be received as
expert evidence. Loudly they praised the skill of the painter whenever there
were ears near to which such evidence might be profitably addressed. Lem Perry,
the leader of the claque, had a somewhat set speech, being uninventive in the
construction of new phrases.
"Look at that
two-year-old, now," he would say, waving a cinnamon-brown hand toward the
salient point of the picture. "Why, dang my hide, the critter's alive. I
can jest hear him, 'lumpety-lump,' a-cuttin' away from the herd, pretendin'
he's skeered. He's a mean scamp, that there steer. Look at his eyes a-wallin'
and his tail a-wavin'. He's true and nat'ral to life. He's jest hankerin' fur a
cow pony to round him up and send him scootin' back to the bunch. Dang my hide!
jest look at that tail of his'n a-wavin'. Never knowed a steer to wave his tail
any other way, dang my hide ef I did."
Jud Shelby, while
admitting the excellence of the steer, resolutely confined himself to open
admiration of the landscape, to the end that the entire picture receive its
meed of praise.
"That piece of
range," he declared, "is a dead ringer for Dead Hoss Valley. Same
grass, same lay of land, same old Whipperwill Creek skallyhootin' in and out of
them motts of timber. Them buzzards on the left is circlin' 'round over Sam
Kildrake's old paint hoss that killed hisself over-drinkin' on a hot day. You
can't see the hoss for that mott of ellums on the creek, but he's thar. Anybody
that was goin' to look for Dead Hoss Valley and come across this picture, why,
he'd just light off'n his bronco and hunt a place to camp."
Skinny Rogers, wedded to
comedy, conceived a complimentary little piece of acting that never failed to
make an impression. Edging quite near to the picture, he would suddenly, at
favourable moments emit a piercing and awful "Yi-yi!" leap high and
away, coming down with a great stamp of heels and whirring of rowels upon the
stone-flagged floor.
"Jeeming
Cristopher!"—so ran his lines—"thought that rattler was a gin-u-ine
one. Ding baste my skin if I didn't. Seemed to me I heard him rattle. Look at
the blamed, unconverted insect a-layin' under that pear. Little more, and
somebody would a-been snake-bit."
With these artful
dodges, contributed by Lonney's faithful coterie, with the sonorous Kinney
perpetually sounding the picture's merits, and with the solvent prestige of the
pioneer Briscoe covering it like a precious varnish, it seemed that the San
Saba country could not fail to add a reputation as an art centre to its
well-known superiority in steer-roping contests and achievements with the
precarious busted flush. Thus was created for the picture an atmosphere, due
rather to externals than to the artist's brush, but through it the people
seemed to gaze with more of admiration. There was a magic in the name of
Briscoe that counted high against faulty technique and crude colouring. The old
Indian fighter and wolf slayer would have smiled grimly in his happy hunting
grounds had he known that his dilettante ghost was thus figuring as an art
patron two generations after his uninspired existence.
Came the day when the
Senate was expected to pass the bill of Senator Mullens appropriating two
thousand dollars for the purchase of the picture. The gallery of the Senate
chamber was early preempted by Lonny and the San Saba lobby. In the front row
of chairs they sat, wild-haired, self-conscious, jingling, creaking, and
rattling, subdued by the majesty of the council hall.
The bill was introduced,
went to the second reading, and then Senator Mullens spoke for it dryly,
tediously, and at length. Senator Kinney then arose, and the welkin seized the
bellrope preparatory to ringing. Oratory was at that time a living thing; the
world had not quite come to measure its questions by geometry and the
multiplication table. It was the day of the silver tongue, the sweeping
gesture, the decorative apostrophe, the moving peroration.
The Senator spoke. The
San Saba contingent sat, breathing hard, in the gallery, its disordered hair
hanging down to its eyes, its sixteen-ounce hats shifted restlessly from knee
to knee. Below, the distinguished Senators either lounged at their desks with
the abandon of proven statesmanship or maintained correct attitudes indicative
of a first term.
Senator Kinney spoke for
an hour. History was his theme—history mitigated by patriotism and sentiment.
He referred casually to the picture in the outer hall—it was unnecessary, he
said, to dilate upon its merits—the Senators had seen for themselves. The
painter of the picture was the grandson of Lucien Briscoe. Then came the
word-pictures of Briscoe's life set forth in thrilling colours. His rude and
venturesome life, his simple-minded love for the commonwealth he helped to
upbuild, his contempt for rewards and praise, his extreme and sturdy
independence, and the great services he had rendered the state. The subject of
the oration was Lucien Briscoe; the painting stood in the background serving
simply as a means, now happily brought forward, through which the state might
bestow a tardy recompense upon the descendent of its favourite son. Frequent
enthusiastic applause from the Senators testified to the well reception of the
sentiment.
The bill passed without
an opening vote. To-morrow it would be taken up by the House. Already was it
fixed to glide through that body on rubber tires. Blandford, Grayson, and
Plummer, all wheel-horses and orators, and provided with plentiful memoranda
concerning the deeds of pioneer Briscoe, had agreed to furnish the motive
power.
The San Saba lobby and
its protégé stumbled awkwardly down the stairs and out into
the Capitol yard. Then they herded closely and gave one yell of triumph. But
one of them—Buck-Kneed Summers it was—hit the key with the thoughtful remark:
"She cut the
mustard," he said, "all right. I reckon they're goin' to buy Lon's
steer. I ain't right much on the parlyment'ry, but I gather that's what the
signs added up. But she seems to me, Lonny, the argyment ran principal to
grandfather, instead of paint. It's reasonable calculatin' that you want to be
glad you got the Briscoe brand on you, my son."
That remarked clinched
in Lonny's mind an unpleasant, vague suspicion to the same effect. His
reticence increased, and he gathered grass from the ground, chewing it
pensively. The picture as a picture had been humiliatingly absent from the
Senator's arguments. The painter had been held up as a grandson, pure and
simple. While this was gratifying on certain lines, it made art look little and
slab-sided. The Boy Artist was thinking.
The hotel Lonny stopped
at was near the Capitol. It was near to the one o'clock dinner hour when the
appropriation had been passed by the Senate. The hotel clerk told Lonny that a
famous artist from New York had arrived in town that day and was in the hotel.
He was on his way westward to New Mexico to study the effect of sunlight upon
the ancient walls of the Zuñis. Modern stones reflect light. Those ancient
building materials absorb it. The artist wanted this effect in a picture he was
painting, and was traveling two thousand miles to get it.
Lonny sought this man
out after dinner and told his story. The artist was an unhealthy man, kept
alive by genius and indifference to life. He went with Lonny to the Capitol and
stood there before the picture. The artist pulled his beard and looked unhappy.
"Should like to
have your sentiments," said Lonny, "just as they run out of the
pen."
"It's the way
they'll come," said the painter man. "I took three different kinds of
medicine before dinner—by the tablespoonful. The taste still lingers. I am
primed for telling the truth. You want to know if the picture is, or if it
isn't?"
"Right," said
Lonny. "Is it wool or cotton? Should I paint some more or cut it out and
ride herd a-plenty?"
"I heard a rumour
during pie," said the artist, "that the state is about to pay you two
thousand dollars for this picture."
"It's passed the
Senate," said Lonny, "and the House rounds it up to-morrow."
"That's
lucky," said the pale man. "Do you carry a rabbit's foot?"
"No," said
Lonny, "but it seems I had a grandfather. He's considerable mixed up in
the colour scheme. It took me a year to paint that picture. Is she entirely
awful or not? Some says, now, that the steer's tail ain't badly drawed. They
think it's proportioned nice. Tell me."
The artist glanced at
Lonny's wiry figure and nut-brown skin. Something stirred him to a passing
irritation.
"For Art's sake,
son," he said, fractiously, "don't spend any more money for paint. It
isn't a picture at all. It's a gun. You hold up the state with it, if you like,
and get your two thousand, but don't get in front of any more canvas. Live
under it. Buy a couple of hundred ponies with the money—I'm told they're that
cheap—and ride, ride, ride. Fill your lungs and eat and sleep and be happy. No
more pictures. You look healthy. That's genius. Cultivate it." He looked
at his watch. "Twenty minutes to three. Four capsules and one tablet at
three. That's all you wanted to know, isn't it?"
At three o'clock the
cowpunchers rode up for Lonny, bringing Hot Tamales, saddled. Traditions must
be observed. To celebrate the passage of the bill by the Senate the gang must
ride wildly through the town, creating uproar and excitement. Liquor must be
partaken of, the suburbs shot up, and the glory of the San Saba country
vociferously proclaimed. A part of the programme had been carried out in the
saloons on the way up.
Lonny mounted Hot
Tamales, the accomplished little beast prancing with fire and intelligence. He
was glad to feel Lonny's bowlegged grip against his ribs again. Lonny was his
friend, and he was willing to do things for him.
"Come on,
boys," said Lonny, urging Hot Tomales into a gallop with his knees. With a
whoop, the inspired lobby tore after him through the dust. Lonny led his
cohorts straight for the Capitol. With a wild yell, the gang endorsed his now
evident intention of riding into it. Hooray for San Saba!
Up the six broad,
limestone steps clattered the broncos of the cowpunchers. Into the resounding
hallway they pattered, scattering in dismay those passing on foot. Lonny, in
the lead, shoved Hot Tamales direct for the great picture. At that hour a
downpouring, soft light from the second-story windows bathed the big canvas.
Against the darker background of the hall the painting stood out with valuable
effect. In spite of the defects of the art you could almost fancy that you
gazed out upon a landscape. You might well flinch a step from the convincing
figure of the life-size steer stampeding across the grass. Perhaps it seemed
thus to Hot Tamales. The scene was in his line. Perhaps he only obeyed the will
of his rider. His ears pricked up; he snorted. Lonny leaned forward in the
saddle and elevated his elbows, wing-like. Thus signals the cowpuncher to his
steed to launch himself full speed ahead. Did Hot Tamales fancy he saw a steer,
red and cavorting, that should be headed off and driven back to the herd? There
was a fierce clatter of hoofs, a rush, a gathering of steely flank muscles, a
leap to the jerk of the bridle rein, and Hot Tamales, with Lonny bending low in
the saddle to dodge the top of the frame, ripped through the great canvas like
a shell from a mortar, leaving the cloth hanging in ragged shreds about a
monstrous hole.
Quickly Lonny pulled up
his pony, and rounded the pillars. Spectators came running, too astounded to
add speech to the commotion. The sergeant-at-arms of the House came forth,
frowned, looked ominous, and then grinned. Many of the legislators crowded out
to observe the tumult. Lonny's cowpunchers were stricken to silent horror by
his mad deed.
Senator Kinney happened
to be among the earliest to emerge. Before he could speak Lonny leaned in his
saddle as Hot Tamales pranced, pointed his quirt at the Senator, and said,
calmly:
"That was a fine
speech you made to-day, mister, but you might as well let up on that
'propriation business. I ain't askin' the state to give me nothin'. I thought I
had a picture to sell to it, but it wasn't one. You said a heap of things about
Grandfather Briscoe that makes me kind of proud I'm his grandson. Well, the
Briscoes ain't takin' presents from the state yet. Anybody can have the frame
that wants it. Hit her up, boys."
Away scuttled the San
Saba delegation out of the hall, down the steps, along the dusty street.
Halfway to the San Saba
country they camped that night. At bedtime Lonny stole away from the campfire
and sought Hot Tamales, placidly eating grass at the end of his stake rope.
Lonny hung upon his neck, and his art aspirations went forth forever in one
long, regretful sigh. But as he thus made renunciation his breath formed a word
or two.
"You was the only
one, Tamales, what seen anything in it. It did look like a
steer, didn't it, old hoss?"
VII. PHOEBE
"You are a man of
many novel adventures and varied enterprises," I said to Captain Patricio
Maloné. "Do you believe that the possible element of good luck or bad
luck—if there is such a thing as luck—has influenced your career or persisted
for or against you to such an extent that you were forced to attribute results
to the operation of the aforesaid good luck or bad luck?"
This question (of almost
the dull insolence of legal phraseology) was put while we sat in Rousselin's
little red-tiled café near Congo Square in New Orleans.
Brown-faced,
white-hatted, finger-ringed captains of adventure came often to Rousselin's for
the cognac. They came from sea and land, and were chary of relating the things
they had seen—not because they were more wonderful than the fantasies of the
Ananiases of print, but because they were so different. And I was a perpetual
wedding-guest, always striving to cast my buttonhole over the finger of one of
these mariners of fortune. This Captain Maloné was a Hiberno-Iberian creole who
had gone to and fro in the earth and walked up and down in it. He looked like
any other well-dressed man of thirty-five whom you might meet, except that he
was hopelessly weather-tanned, and wore on his chain an ancient ivory-and-gold
Peruvian charm against evil, which has nothing at all to do with this story.
"My answer to your
question," said the captain, smiling, "will be to tell you the story
of Bad-Luck Kearny. That is, if you don't mind hearing it."
My reply was to pound on
the table for Rousselin.
"Strolling along
Tchoupitoulas Street one night," began Captain Maloné, "I noticed,
without especially taxing my interest, a small man walking rapidly toward me.
He stepped upon a wooden cellar door, crashed through it, and disappeared. I
rescued him from a heap of soft coal below. He dusted himself briskly, swearing
fluently in a mechanical tone, as an underpaid actor recites the gypsy's curse.
Gratitude and the dust in his throat seemed to call for fluids to clear them
away. His desire for liquidation was expressed so heartily that I went with him
to a café down the street where we had some vile vermouth and bitters.
"Looking across
that little table I had my first clear sight of Francis Kearny. He was about
five feet seven, but as tough as a cypress knee. His hair was darkest red, his
mouth such a mere slit that you wondered how the flood of his words came rushing
from it. His eyes were the brightest and lightest blue and the hopefulest that
I ever saw. He gave the double impression that he was at bay and that you had
better not crowd him further.
"'Just in from a
gold-hunting expedition on the coast of Costa Rica,' he explained. 'Second mate
of a banana steamer told me the natives were panning out enough from the beach
sands to buy all the rum, red calico, and parlour melodeons in the world. The
day I got there a syndicate named Incorporated Jones gets a government
concession to all minerals from a given point. For a next choice I take coast
fever and count green and blue lizards for six weeks in a grass hut. I had to
be notified when I was well, for the reptiles were actually there. Then I
shipped back as third cook on a Norwegian tramp that blew up her boiler two
miles below Quarantine. I was due to bust through that cellar door here
to-night, so I hurried the rest of the way up the river, roustabouting on a
lower coast packet that made up a landing for every fisherman that wanted a
plug of tobacco. And now I'm here for what comes next. And it'll be along,
it'll be along,' said this queer Mr. Kearny; 'it'll be along on the beams of my
bright but not very particular star.'
"From the first the
personality of Kearny charmed me. I saw in him the bold heart, the restless
nature, and the valiant front against the buffets of fate that make his
countrymen such valuable comrades in risk and adventure. And just then I was
wanting such men. Moored at a fruit company's pier I had a 500-ton steamer
ready to sail the next day with a cargo of sugar, lumber, and corrugated iron
for a port in—well, let us call the country Esperando—it has not been long ago,
and the name of Patricio Maloné is still spoken there when its unsettled politics
are discussed. Beneath the sugar and iron were packed a thousand Winchester
rifles. In Aguas Frias, the capital, Don Rafael Valdevia, Minister of War,
Esperando's greatest-hearted and most able patriot, awaited my coming. No doubt
you have heard, with a smile, of the insignificant wars and uprisings in those
little tropic republics. They make but a faint clamour against the din of great
nations' battles; but down there, under all the ridiculous uniforms and petty
diplomacy and senseless countermarching and intrigue, are to be found statesmen
and patriots. Don Rafael Valdevia was one. His great ambition was to raise
Esperando into peace and honest prosperity and the respect of the serious
nations. So he waited for my rifles in Aguas Frias. But one would think I am
trying to win a recruit in you! No; it was Francis Kearny I wanted. And so I
told him, speaking long over our execrable vermouth, breathing the stifling
odour from garlic and tarpaulins, which, as you know, is the distinctive
flavour of cafés in the lower slant of our city. I spoke of the tyrant
President Cruz and the burdens that his greed and insolent cruelty laid upon
the people. And at that Kearny's tears flowed. And then I dried them with a
picture of the fat rewards that would be ours when the oppressor should be
overthrown and the wise and generous Valdevia in his seat. Then Kearny leaped
to his feet and wrung my hand with the strength of a roustabout. He was mine,
he said, till the last minion of the hated despot was hurled from the highest
peaks of the Cordilleras into the sea.
"I paid the score,
and we went out. Near the door Kearny's elbow overturned an upright glass
showcase, smashing it into little bits. I paid the storekeeper the price he
asked.
"'Come to my hotel
for the night,' I said to Kearny. 'We sail to-morrow at noon.'
"He agreed; but on
the sidewalk he fell to cursing again in the dull monotonous way that he had
done when I pulled him out of the coal cellar.
"'Captain,' said
he, 'before we go any further, it's no more than fair to tell you that I'm
known from Baffin's Bay to Terra del Fuego as "Bad-Luck" Kearny. And
I'm It. Everything I get into goes up in the air except a balloon. Every bet I
ever made I lost except when I coppered it. Every boat I ever sailed on sank
except the submarines. Everything I was ever interested in went to pieces
except a patent bombshell that I invented. Everything I ever took hold of and
tried to run I ran into the ground except when I tried to plough. And that's
why they call me Bad-Luck Kearny. I thought I'd tell you.'
"'Bad luck,' said
I, 'or what goes by that name, may now and then tangle the affairs of any man.
But if it persists beyond the estimate of what we may call the
"averages" there must be a cause for it.'
"'There is,' said
Kearny emphatically, 'and when we walk another square I will show it to you.'
"Surprised, I kept
by his side until we came to Canal Street and out into the middle of its great
width.
"Kearny seized me
by an arm and pointed a tragic forefinger at a rather brilliant star that shone
steadily about thirty degrees above the horizon.
"'That's Saturn,'
said he, 'the star that presides over bad luck and evil and disappointment and
nothing doing and trouble. I was born under that star. Every move I make, up
bobs Saturn and blocks it. He's the hoodoo planet of the heavens. They say he's
73,000 miles in diameter and no solider of body than split-pea soup, and he's
got as many disreputable and malignant rings as Chicago. Now, what kind of a
star is that to be born under?'
"I asked Kearny
where he had obtained all this astonishing knowledge.
"'From Azrath, the
great astrologer of Cleveland, Ohio,' said he. 'That man looked at a glass ball
and told me my name before I'd taken a chair. He prophesied the date of my
birth and death before I'd said a word. And then he cast my horoscope, and the
sidereal system socked me in the solar plexus. It was bad luck for Francis
Kearny from A to Izard and for his friends that were implicated with him. For
that I gave up ten dollars. This Azrath was sorry, but he respected his
profession too much to read the heavens wrong for any man. It was night time,
and he took me out on a balcony and gave me a free view of the sky. And he
showed me which Saturn was, and how to find it in different balconies and longitudes.
"'But Saturn wasn't
all. He was only the man higher up. He furnishes so much bad luck that they
allow him a gang of deputy sparklers to help hand it out. They're circulating
and revolving and hanging around the main supply all the time, each one
throwing the hoodoo on his own particular district.
"'You see that ugly
little red star about eight inches above and to the right of Saturn?' Kearny
asked me. 'Well, that's her. That's Phœbe. She's got me in charge. "By the
day of your birth," says Azrath to me, "your life is subjected to the
influence of Saturn. By the hour and minute of it you must dwell under the sway
and direct authority of Phœbe, the ninth satellite." So said this Azrath.'
Kearny shook his fist violently skyward. 'Curse her, she's done her work well,'
said he. 'Ever since I was astrologized, bad luck has followed me like my
shadow, as I told you. And for many years before. Now, Captain, I've told you
my handicap as a man should. If you're afraid this evil star of mine might
cripple your scheme, leave me out of it.'
"I reassured Kearny
as well as I could. I told him that for the time we would banish both astrology
and astronomy from our heads. The manifest valour and enthusiasm of the man
drew me. 'Let us see what a little courage and diligence will do against bad
luck,' I said. 'We will sail to-morrow for Esperando.'
"Fifty miles down
the Mississippi our steamer broke her rudder. We sent for a tug to tow us back
and lost three days. When we struck the blue waters of the Gulf, all the storm
clouds of the Atlantic seemed to have concentrated above us. We thought surely
to sweeten those leaping waves with our sugar, and to stack our arms and lumber
on the floor of the Mexican Gulf.
"Kearny did not
seek to cast off one iota of the burden of our danger from the shoulders of his
fatal horoscope. He weathered every storm on deck, smoking a black pipe, to
keep which alight rain and sea-water seemed but as oil. And he shook his fist
at the black clouds behind which his baleful star winked its unseen eye. When
the skies cleared one evening, he reviled his malignant guardian with grim
humour.
"'On watch, aren't
you, you red-headed vixen? Out making it hot for little Francis Kearny and his
friends, according to Hoyle. Twinkle, twinkle, little devil! You're a lady,
aren't you?—dogging a man with your bad luck just because he happened to be
born while your boss was floorwalker. Get busy and sink the ship, you one-eyed
banshee. Phœbe! H'm! Sounds as mild as a milkmaid. You can't judge a woman by
her name. Why couldn't I have had a man star? I can't make the remarks to Phœbe
that I could to a man. Oh, Phœbe, you be—blasted!'
"For eight days
gales and squalls and waterspouts beat us from our course. Five days only
should have landed us in Esperando. Our Jonah swallowed the bad credit of it
with appealing frankness; but that scarcely lessened the hardships our cause
was made to suffer.
"At last one
afternoon we steamed into the calm estuary of the little Rio Escondido. Three
miles up this we crept, feeling for the shallow channel between the low banks
that were crowded to the edge with gigantic trees and riotous vegetation. Then
our whistle gave a little toot, and in five minutes we heard a shout, and
Carlos—my brave Carlos Quintana—crashed through the tangled vines waving his
cap madly for joy.
"A hundred yards
away was his camp, where three hundred chosen patriots of Esperando were
awaiting our coming. For a month Carlos had been drilling them there in the
tactics of war, and filling them with the spirit of revolution and liberty.
"'My Captain—compadre
mio!' shouted Carlos, while yet my boat was being lowered. 'You should see
them in the drill by companies—in the column wheel—in the march by
fours—they are superb! Also in the manual of arms—but, alas! performed only
with sticks of bamboo. The guns, capitan—say that you have brought
the guns!'
"'A thousand
Winchesters, Carlos,' I called to him. 'And two Gatlings.'
"'Valgame Dios!'
he cried, throwing his cap in the air. 'We shall sweep the world!'
"At that moment Kearny
tumbled from the steamer's side into the river. He could not swim, so the crew
threw him a rope and drew him back aboard. I caught his eye and his look of
pathetic but still bright and undaunted consciousness of his guilty luck. I
told myself that although he might be a man to shun, he was also one to be
admired.
"I gave orders to
the sailing-master that the arms, ammunition, and provisions were to be landed
at once. That was easy in the steamer's boats, except for the two Gatling guns.
For their transportation ashore we carried a stout flatboat, brought for the
purpose in the steamer's hold.
"In the meantime I
walked with Carlos to the camp and made the soldiers a little speech in
Spanish, which they received with enthusiasm; and then I had some wine and a
cigarette in Carlos's tent. Later we walked back to the river to see how the
unloading was being conducted.
"The small arms and
provisions were already ashore, and the petty officers and squads of men
conveying them to camp. One Gatling had been safely landed; the other was just
being hoisted over the side of the vessel as we arrived. I noticed Kearny
darting about on board, seeming to have the ambition of ten men, and doing the
work of five. I think his zeal bubbled over when he saw Carlos and me. A rope's
end was swinging loose from some part of the tackle. Kearny leaped impetuously
and caught it. There was a crackle and a hiss and a smoke of scorching hemp,
and the Gatling dropped straight as a plummet through the bottom of the
flatboat and buried itself in twenty feet of water and five feet of river mud.
"I turned my back
on the scene. I heard Carlos's loud cries as if from some extreme grief too
poignant for words. I heard the complaining murmur of the crew and the
maledictions of Torres, the sailing master—I could not bear to look.
"By night some
degree of order had been restored in camp. Military rules were not drawn
strictly, and the men were grouped about the fires of their several messes,
playing games of chance, singing their native songs, or discussing with voluble
animation the contingencies of our march upon the capital.
"To my tent, which
had been pitched for me close to that of my chief lieutenant, came Kearny,
indomitable, smiling, bright-eyed, bearing no traces of the buffets of his evil
star. Rather was his aspect that of a heroic martyr whose tribulations were so
high-sourced and glorious that he even took a splendour and a prestige from
them.
"'Well, Captain,'
said he, 'I guess you realize that Bad-Luck Kearny is still on deck. It was a
shame, now, about that gun. She only needed to be slewed two inches to clear
the rail; and that's why I grabbed that rope's end. Who'd have thought that a
sailor—even a Sicilian lubber on a banana coaster—would have fastened a line in
a bow-knot? Don't think I'm trying to dodge the responsibility, Captain. It's
my luck.'
"'There are men,
Kearny,' said I gravely, 'who pass through life blaming upon luck and chance
the mistakes that result from their own faults and incompetency. I do not say
that you are such a man. But if all your mishaps are traceable to that tiny
star, the sooner we endow our colleges with chairs of moral astronomy, the
better.'
"'It isn't the size
of the star that counts,' said Kearny; 'it's the quality. Just the way it is
with women. That's why they give the biggest planets masculine names, and the
little stars feminine ones—to even things up when it comes to getting their
work in. Suppose they had called my star Agamemnon or Bill McCarty or something
like that instead of Phœbe. Every time one of those old boys touched their
calamity button and sent me down one of their wireless pieces of bad luck, I
could talk back and tell 'em what I thought of 'em in suitable terms. But you
can't address such remarks to a Phœbe.'
"'It pleases you to
make a joke of it, Kearny,' said I, without smiling. 'But it is no joke to me
to think of my Gatling mired in the river ooze.'
"'As to that,' said
Kearny, abandoning his light mood at once, 'I have already done what I could. I
have had some experience in hoisting stone in quarries. Torres and I have
already spliced three hawsers and stretched them from the steamer's stern to a
tree on shore. We will rig a tackle and have the gun on terra firma before noon
to-morrow.'
"One could not
remain long at outs with Bad-Luck Kearny.
"'Once more,' said
I to him, 'we will waive this question of luck. Have you ever had experience in
drilling raw troops?'
"'I was first
sergeant and drill-master,' said Kearny, 'in the Chilean army for one year. And
captain of artillery for another.'
"'What became of
your command?' I asked.
"'Shot down to a
man,' said Kearny, 'during the revolutions against Balmaceda.'
"Somehow the
misfortunes of the evil-starred one seemed to turn to me their comedy side. I
lay back upon my goat's-hide cot and laughed until the woods echoed. Kearny
grinned. 'I told you how it was,' he said.
"'To-morrow,' I
said, 'I shall detail one hundred men under your command for manual-of-arms
drill and company evolutions. You will rank as lieutenant. Now, for God's sake,
Kearny,' I urged him, 'try to combat this superstition if it is one. Bad luck
may be like any other visitor—preferring to stop where it is expected. Get your
mind off stars. Look upon Esperando as your planet of good fortune.'
"'I thank you,
Captain,' said Kearny quietly. 'I will try to make it the best handicap I ever
ran.'
"By noon the next
day the submerged Gatling was rescued, as Kearny had promised. Then Carlos and
Manuel Ortiz and Kearny (my lieutenants) distributed Winchesters among the
troops and put them through an incessant rifle drill. We fired no shots, blank
or solid, for of all coasts Esperando is the stillest; and we had no desire to
sound any warnings in the ear of that corrupt government until they should
carry with them the message of Liberty and the downfall of Oppression.
"In the afternoon
came a mule-rider bearing a written message to me from Don Rafael Valdevia in
the capital, Aguas Frias.
"Whenever that
man's name comes to my lips, words of tribute to his greatness, his noble
simplicity, and his conspicuous genius follow irrepressibly. He was a
traveller, a student of peoples and governments, a master of sciences, a poet,
an orator, a leader, a soldier, a critic of the world's campaigns and the idol
of the people in Esperando. I had been honoured by his friendship for years. It
was I who first turned his mind to the thought that he should leave for his
monument a new Esperando—a country freed from the rule of unscrupulous tyrants,
and a people made happy and prosperous by wise and impartial legislation. When
he had consented he threw himself into the cause with the undivided zeal with
which he endowed all of his acts. The coffers of his great fortune were opened
to those of us to whom were entrusted the secret moves of the game. His popularity
was already so great that he had practically forced President Cruz to offer him
the portfolio of Minister of War.
"The time, Don
Rafael said in his letter, was ripe. Success, he prophesied, was certain. The
people were beginning to clamour publicly against Cruz's misrule. Bands of
citizens in the capital were even going about of nights hurling stones at
public buildings and expressing their dissatisfaction. A bronze statue of
President Cruz in the Botanical Gardens had been lassoed about the neck and overthrown.
It only remained for me to arrive with my force and my thousand rifles, and for
himself to come forward and proclaim himself the people's saviour, to overthrow
Cruz in a single day. There would be but a half-hearted resistance from the six
hundred government troops stationed in the capital. The country was ours. He
presumed that by this time my steamer had arrived at Quintana's camp. He
proposed the eighteenth of July for the attack. That would give us six days in
which to strike camp and march to Aguas Frias. In the meantime Don Rafael
remained my good friend and compadre en la causa de la libertad.
"On the morning of
the 14th we began our march toward the sea-following range of mountains, over
the sixty-mile trail to the capital. Our small arms and provisions were laden
on pack mules. Twenty men harnessed to each Gatling gun rolled them smoothly
along the flat, alluvial lowlands. Our troops, well-shod and well-fed, moved
with alacrity and heartiness. I and my three lieutenants were mounted on the
tough mountain ponies of the country.
"A mile out of camp
one of the pack mules, becoming stubborn, broke away from the train and plunged
from the path into the thicket. The alert Kearny spurred quickly after it and
intercepted its flight. Rising in his stirrups, he released one foot and
bestowed upon the mutinous animal a hearty kick. The mule tottered and fell
with a crash broadside upon the ground. As we gathered around it, it walled its
great eyes almost humanly towards Kearny and expired. That was bad; but worse,
to our minds, was the concomitant disaster. Part of the mule's burden had been
one hundred pounds of the finest coffee to be had in the tropics. The bag burst
and spilled the priceless brown mass of the ground berries among the dense
vines and weeds of the swampy land. Mala suerte! When you take
away from an Esperandan his coffee, you abstract his patriotism and 50 per
cent. of his value as a soldier. The men began to rake up the precious stuff;
but I beckoned Kearny back along the trail where they would not hear. The limit
had been reached.
"I took from my
pocket a wallet of money and drew out some bills.
"'Mr. Kearny,' said
I, 'here are some funds belonging to Don Rafael Valdevia, which I am expending
in his cause. I know of no better service it can buy for him than this. Here is
one hundred dollars. Luck or no luck, we part company here. Star or no star,
calamity seems to travel by your side. You will return to the steamer. She
touches at Amotapa to discharge her lumber and iron, and then puts back to New
Orleans. Hand this note to the sailing-master, who will give you passage.' I
wrote on a leaf torn from my book, and placed it and the money in Kearny's
hand.
"'Good-bye,' I
said, extending my own. 'It is not that I am displeased with you; but there is
no place in this expedition for—let us say, the Señorita Phœbe.' I said this
with a smile, trying to smooth the thing for him. 'May you have better
luck, companero.'
"Kearny took the
money and the paper.
"'It was just a
little touch,' said he, 'just a little lift with the toe of my boot—but what's
the odds?—that blamed mule would have died if I had only dusted his ribs with a
powder puff. It was my luck. Well, Captain, I would have liked to be in that
little fight with you over in Aguas Frias. Success to the cause. Adios!'
"He turned around
and set off down the trail without looking back. The unfortunate mule's
pack-saddle was transferred to Kearny's pony, and we again took up the march.
"Four days we
journeyed over the foot-hills and mountains, fording icy torrents, winding
around the crumbling brows of ragged peaks, creeping along the rocky flanges
that overlooked awful precipices, crawling breathlessly over tottering bridges
that crossed bottomless chasms.
"On the evening of
the seventeenth we camped by a little stream on the bare hills five miles from
Aguas Frias. At daybreak we were to take up the march again.
"At midnight I was
standing outside my tent inhaling the fresh cold air. The stars were shining
bright in the cloudless sky, giving the heavens their proper aspect of
illimitable depth and distance when viewed from the vague darkness of the
blotted earth. Almost at its zenith was the planet Saturn; and with a
half-smile I observed the sinister red sparkle of his malignant attendant—the
demon star of Kearny's ill luck. And then my thoughts strayed across the hills
to the scene of our coming triumph where the heroic and noble Don Rafael
awaited our coming to set a new and shining star in the firmament of nations.
"I heard a slight
rustling in the deep grass to my right. I turned and saw Kearny coming toward
me. He was ragged and dew-drenched and limping. His hat and one boot were gone.
About one foot he had tied some makeshift of cloth and grass. But his manner as
he approached was that of a man who knows his own virtues well enough to be
superior to rebuffs.
"'Well, sir,' I
said, staring at him coldly, 'if there is anything in persistence, I see no
reason why you should not succeed in wrecking and ruining us yet.'
"'I kept half a
day's journey behind,' said Kearny, fishing out a stone from the covering of
his lame foot, 'so the bad luck wouldn't touch you. I couldn't help it,
Captain; I wanted to be in on this game. It was a pretty tough trip, especially
in the department of the commissary. In the low grounds there were always
bananas and oranges. Higher up it was worse; but your men left a good deal of
goat meat hanging on the bushes in the camps. Here's your hundred dollars.
You're nearly there now, captain. Let me in on the scrapping to-morrow.'
"'Not for a hundred
times a hundred would I have the tiniest thing go wrong with my plans now,' I
said, 'whether caused by evil planets or the blunders of mere man. But yonder
is Aguas Frias, five miles away, and a clear road. I am of the mind to defy Saturn
and all his satellites to spoil our success now. At any rate, I will not turn
away to-night as weary a traveller and as good a soldier as you are, Lieutenant
Kearny. Manuel Ortiz's tent is there by the brightest fire. Rout him out and
tell him to supply you with food and blankets and clothes. We march again at
daybreak.'
"Kearny thanked me
briefly but feelingly and moved away.
"He had gone
scarcely a dozen steps when a sudden flash of bright light illumined the
surrounding hills; a sinister, growing, hissing sound like escaping steam
filled my ears. Then followed a roar as of distant thunder, which grew louder
every instant. This terrifying noise culminated in a tremendous explosion,
which seemed to rock the hills as an earthquake would; the illumination waxed
to a glare so fierce that I clapped my hands over my eyes to save them. I
thought the end of the world had come. I could think of no natural phenomenon
that would explain it. My wits were staggering. The deafening explosion trailed
off into the rumbling roar that had preceded it; and through this I heard the
frightened shouts of my troops as they stumbled from their resting-places and
rushed wildly about. Also I heard the harsh tones of Kearny's voice crying:
'They'll blame it on me, of course, and what the devil it is, it's not Francis
Kearny that can give you an answer.'
"I opened my eyes.
The hills were still there, dark and solid. It had not been, then, a volcano or
an earthquake. I looked up at the sky and saw a comet-like trail crossing the
zenith and extending westward—a fiery trail waning fainter and narrower each
moment.
"'A meteor!' I
called aloud. 'A meteor has fallen. There is no danger.'
"And then all other
sounds were drowned by a great shout from Kearny's throat. He had raised both
hands above his head and was standing tiptoe.
"'PHŒBE'S GONE!' he
cried, with all his lungs. 'She's busted and gone to hell. Look, Captain, the
little red-headed hoodoo has blown herself to smithereens. She found Kearny too
tough to handle, and she puffed up with spite and meanness till her boiler blew
up. It's be Bad-Luck Kearny no more. Oh, let us be joyful!
"'Humpty Dumpty sat
on a wall;
Humpty busted, and that'll be all!'
"I looked up,
wondering, and picked out Saturn in his place. But the small red twinkling
luminary in his vicinity, which Kearny had pointed out to me as his evil star,
had vanished. I had seen it there but half an hour before; there was no doubt
that one of those awful and mysterious spasms of nature had hurled it from the
heavens.
"I clapped Kearny
on the shoulder.
"'Little man,' said
I, 'let this clear the way for you. It appears that astrology has failed to
subdue you. Your horoscope must be cast anew with pluck and loyalty for
controlling stars. I play you to win. Now, get to your tent, and sleep.
Daybreak is the word.'
"At nine o'clock on
the morning of the eighteenth of July I rode into Aguas Frias with Kearny at my
side. In his clean linen suit and with his military poise and keen eye he was a
model of a fighting adventurer. I had visions of him riding as commander of
President Valdevia's body-guard when the plums of the new republic should begin
to fall.
"Carlos followed
with the troops and supplies. He was to halt in a wood outside the town and
remain concealed there until he received the word to advance.
"Kearny and I rode
down the Calle Ancha toward the residencia of Don Rafael at
the other side of the town. As we passed the superb white buildings of the
University of Esperando, I saw at an open window the gleaming spectacles and
bald head of Herr Bergowitz, professor of the natural sciences and friend of
Don Rafael and of me and of the cause. He waved his hand to me, with his broad,
bland smile.
"There was no
excitement apparent in Aguas Frias. The people went about leisurely as at all
times; the market was thronged with bare-headed women buying fruit and carne;
we heard the twang and tinkle of string bands in the patios of the cantinas.
We could see that it was a waiting game that Don Rafael was playing.
"His residencia was
a large but low building around a great courtyard in grounds crowed with
ornamental trees and tropic shrubs. At his door an old woman who came informed
us that Don Rafael had not yet arisen.
"'Tell him,' said
I, 'that Captain Maloné and a friend wish to see him at once. Perhaps he has
overslept.'
"She came back
looking frightened.
"'I have called,'
she said, 'and rung his bell many times, but he does not answer.'
"I knew where his
sleeping-room was. Kearny and I pushed by her and went to it. I put my shoulder
against the thin door and forced it open.
"In an armchair by
a great table covered with maps and books sat Don Rafael with his eyes closed.
I touched his hand. He had been dead many hours. On his head above one ear was
a wound caused by a heavy blow. It had ceased to bleed long before.
"I made the old
woman call a mozo, and dispatched him in haste to fetch Herr
Bergowitz.
"He came, and we
stood about as if we were half stunned by the awful shock. Thus can the letting
of a few drops of blood from one man's veins drain the life of a nation.
"Presently Herr
Bergowitz stooped and picked up a darkish stone the size of an orange which he
saw under the table. He examined it closely through his great glasses with the
eye of science.
"'A fragment,' said
he, 'of a detonating meteor. The most remarkable one in twenty years exploded
above this city a little after midnight this morning.'
"The professor
looked quickly up at the ceiling. We saw the blue sky through a hole the size
of an orange nearly above Don Rafael's chair.
"I heard a familiar
sound, and turned. Kearny had thrown himself on the floor and was babbling his
compendium of bitter, blood-freezing curses against the star of his evil luck.
"Undoubtedly Phœbe
had been feminine. Even when hurtling on her way to fiery dissolution and
everlasting doom, the last word had been hers."
Captain Maloné was not
unskilled in narrative. He knew the point where a story should end. I sat
reveling in his effective conclusion when he aroused me by continuing:
"Of course,"
said he, "our schemes were at an end. There was no one to take Don
Rafael's place. Our little army melted away like dew before the sun.
"One day after I
had returned to New Orleans I related this story to a friend who holds a
professorship in Tulane University.
"When I had
finished he laughed and asked whether I had any knowledge of Kearny's luck
afterward. I told him no, that I had seen him no more; but that when he left
me, he had expressed confidence that his future would be successful now that
his unlucky star had been overthrown.
"'No doubt,' said
the professor, 'he is happier not to know one fact. If he derives his bad luck
from Phœbe, the ninth satellite of Saturn, that malicious lady is still engaged
in overlooking his career. The star close to Saturn that he imagined to be her
was near that planet simply by the chance of its orbit—probably at different
times he has regarded many other stars that happened to be in Saturn's
neighbourhood as his evil one. The real Phœbe is visible only through a very
good telescope.'
"About a year
afterward," continued Captain Maloné, "I was walking down a street
that crossed the Poydras Market. An immensely stout, pink-faced lacy in black
satin crowded me from the narrow sidewalk with a frown. Behind her trailed a
little man laden to the gunwales with bundles and bags of goods and vegetables.
"It was Kearny—but
changed. I stopped and shook one of his hands, which still clung to a bag of
garlic and red peppers.
"'How is the luck,
old companero?' I asked him. I had not the heart to tell him the
truth about his star.
"'Well,' said he,
'I am married, as you may guess.'
"'Francis!' called
the big lady, in deep tones, 'are you going to stop in the street talking all
day?'
"'I am coming,
Phœbe dear,' said Kearny, hastening after her."
Captain Maloné ceased
again.
"After all, do you
believe in luck?" I asked.
"Do you?"
answered the captain, with his ambiguous smile shaded by the brim of his soft
straw hat.
VIII.A DOUBLE-DYED DECEIVER
The trouble began in
Laredo. It was the Llano Kid's fault, for he should have confined his habit of
manslaughter to Mexicans. But the Kid was past twenty; and to have only
Mexicans to one's credit at twenty is to blush unseen on the Rio Grande border.
It happened in old Justo
Valdos's gambling house. There was a poker game at which sat players who were
not all friends, as happens often where men ride in from afar to shoot Folly as
she gallops. There was a row over so small a matter as a pair of queens; and
when the smoke had cleared away it was found that the Kid had committed an
indiscretion, and his adversary had been guilty of a blunder. For, the
unfortunate combatant, instead of being a Greaser, was a high-blooded youth
from the cow ranches, of about the Kid's own age and possessed of friends and
champions. His blunder in missing the Kid's right ear only a sixteenth of an
inch when he pulled his gun did not lessen the indiscretion of the better
marksman.
The Kid, not being
equipped with a retinue, nor bountifully supplied with personal admirers and
supporters—on account of a rather umbrageous reputation, even for the
border—considered it not incompatible with his indisputable gameness to perform
that judicious tractional act known as "pulling his freight."
Quickly the avengers
gathered and sought him. Three of them overtook him within a rod of the
station. The Kid turned and showed his teeth in that brilliant but mirthless
smile that usually preceded his deeds of insolence and violence, and his
pursuers fell back without making it necessary for him even to reach for his
weapon.
But in this affair the
Kid had not felt the grim thirst for encounter that usually urged him on to
battle. It had been a purely chance row, born of the cards and certain epithets
impossible for a gentleman to brook that had passed between the two. The Kid
had rather liked the slim, haughty, brown-faced young chap whom his bullet had
cut off in the first pride of manhood. And now he wanted no more blood. He
wanted to get away and have a good long sleep somewhere in the sun on the mesquit
grass with his handkerchief over his face. Even a Mexican might have crossed
his path in safety while he was in this mood.
The Kid openly boarded
the north-bound passenger train that departed five minutes later. But at Webb,
a few miles out, where it was flagged to take on a traveller, he abandoned that
manner of escape. There were telegraph stations ahead; and the Kid looked
askance at electricity and steam. Saddle and spur were his rocks of safety.
The man whom he had shot
was a stranger to him. But the Kid knew that he was of the Coralitos outfit
from Hidalgo; and that the punchers from that ranch were more relentless and
vengeful than Kentucky feudists when wrong or harm was done to one of them. So,
with the wisdom that has characterized many great fighters, the Kid decided to
pile up as many leagues as possible of chaparral and pear between himself and
the retaliation of the Coralitos bunch.
Near the station was a
store; and near the store, scattered among the mesquits and elms, stood the
saddled horses of the customers. Most of them waited, half asleep, with sagging
limbs and drooping heads. But one, a long-legged roan with a curved neck,
snorted and pawed the turf. Him the Kid mounted, gripped with his knees, and
slapped gently with the owner's own quirt.
If the slaying of the
temerarious card-player had cast a cloud over the Kid's standing as a good and
true citizen, this last act of his veiled his figure in the darkest shadows of
disrepute. On the Rio Grande border if you take a man's life you sometimes take
trash; but if you take his horse, you take a thing the loss of which renders
him poor, indeed, and which enriches you not—if you are caught. For the Kid
there was no turning back now.
With the springing roan
under him he felt little care or uneasiness. After a five-mile gallop he drew
in to the plainsman's jogging trot, and rode northeastward toward the Nueces
River bottoms. He knew the country well—its most tortuous and obscure trails
through the great wilderness of brush and pear, and its camps and lonesome
ranches where one might find safe entertainment. Always he bore to the east;
for the Kid had never seen the ocean, and he had a fancy to lay his hand upon
the mane of the great Gulf, the gamesome colt of the greater waters.
So after three days he
stood on the shore at Corpus Christi, and looked out across the gentle ripples
of a quiet sea.
Captain Boone, of the
schooner Flyaway, stood near his skiff, which one of his crew was
guarding in the surf. When ready to sail he had discovered that one of the
necessaries of life, in the parallelogrammatic shape of plug tobacco, had been
forgotten. A sailor had been dispatched for the missing cargo. Meanwhile the
captain paced the sands, chewing profanely at his pocket store.
A slim, wiry youth in
high-heeled boots came down to the water's edge. His face was boyish, but with
a premature severity that hinted at a man's experience. His complexion was
naturally dark; and the sun and wind of an outdoor life had burned it to a
coffee brown. His hair was as black and straight as an Indian's; his face had
not yet been upturned to the humiliation of a razor; his eyes were a cold and
steady blue. He carried his left arm somewhat away from his body, for
pearl-handled .45s are frowned upon by town marshals, and are a little bulky
when placed in the left armhole of one's vest. He looked beyond Captain Boone
at the gulf with the impersonal and expressionless dignity of a Chinese
emperor.
"Thinkin' of buyin'
that'ar gulf, buddy?" asked the captain, made sarcastic by his narrow
escape from a tobaccoless voyage.
"Why, no,"
said the Kid gently, "I reckon not. I never saw it before. I was just
looking at it. Not thinking of selling it, are you?"
"Not this
trip," said the captain. "I'll send it to you C.O.D. when I get back
to Buenas Tierras. Here comes that capstanfooted lubber with the chewin'. I
ought to've weighed anchor an hour ago."
"Is that your ship
out there?" asked the Kid.
"Why, yes,"
answered the captain, "if you want to call a schooner a ship, and I don't
mind lyin'. But you better say Miller and Gonzales, owners, and ordinary plain,
Billy-be-damned old Samuel K. Boone, skipper."
"Where are you
going to?" asked the refugee.
"Buenas Tierras,
coast of South America—I forgot what they called the country the last time I
was there. Cargo—lumber, corrugated iron, and machetes."
"What kind of a
country is it?" asked the Kid—"hot or cold?"
"Warmish,
buddy," said the captain. "But a regular Paradise Lost for elegance
of scenery and be-yooty of geography. Ye're wakened every morning by the sweet
singin' of red birds with seven purple tails, and the sighin' of breezes in the
posies and roses. And the inhabitants never work, for they can reach out and
pick steamer baskets of the choicest hothouse fruit without gettin' out of bed.
And there's no Sunday and no ice and no rent and no troubles and no use and no
nothin'. It's a great country for a man to go to sleep with, and wait for
somethin' to turn up. The bananys and oranges and hurricanes and pineapples
that ye eat comes from there."
"That sounds to
me!" said the Kid, at last betraying interest. "What'll the
expressage be to take me out there with you?"
"Twenty-four
dollars," said Captain Boone; "grub and transportation. Second cabin.
I haven't got a first cabin."
"You've got my company,"
said the Kid, pulling out a buckskin bag.
With three hundred
dollars he had gone to Laredo for his regular "blowout." The duel in
Valdos's had cut short his season of hilarity, but it had left him with nearly
$200 for aid in the flight that it had made necessary.
"All right,
buddy," said the captain. "I hope your ma won't blame me for this
little childish escapade of yours." He beckoned to one of the boat's crew.
"Let Sanchez lift you out to the skiff so you won't get your feet
wet."
Thacker, the United
States consul at Buenas Tierras, was not yet drunk. It was only eleven o'clock;
and he never arrived at his desired state of beatitude—a state wherein he sang
ancient maudlin vaudeville songs and pelted his screaming parrot with banana
peels—until the middle of the afternoon. So, when he looked up from his hammock
at the sound of a slight cough, and saw the Kid standing in the door of the
consulate, he was still in a condition to extend the hospitality and courtesy
due from the representative of a great nation. "Don't disturb
yourself," said the Kid, easily. "I just dropped in. They told me it
was customary to light at your camp before starting in to round up the town. I
just came in on a ship from Texas."
"Glad to see you,
Mr.—" said the consul.
The Kid laughed.
"Sprague
Dalton," he said. "It sounds funny to me to hear it. I'm called the
Llano Kid in the Rio Grande country."
"I'm Thacker,"
said the consul. "Take that cane-bottom chair. Now if you've come to
invest, you want somebody to advise you. These dingies will cheat you out of
the gold in your teeth if you don't understand their ways. Try a cigar?"
"Much
obliged," said the Kid, "but if it wasn't for my corn shucks and the
little bag in my back pocket I couldn't live a minute." He took out his
"makings," and rolled a cigarette.
"They speak Spanish
here," said the consul. "You'll need an interpreter. If there's
anything I can do, why, I'd be delighted. If you're buying fruit lands or
looking for a concession of any sort, you'll want somebody who knows the ropes
to look out for you."
"I speak
Spanish," said the Kid, "about nine times better than I do English.
Everybody speaks it on the range where I come from. And I'm not in the market
for anything."
"You speak
Spanish?" said Thacker thoughtfully. He regarded the kid absorbedly.
"You look like a
Spaniard, too," he continued. "And you're from Texas. And you can't
be more than twenty or twenty-one. I wonder if you've got any nerve."
"You got a deal of
some kind to put through?" asked the Texan, with unexpected shrewdness.
"Are you open to a
proposition?" said Thacker.
"What's the use to
deny it?" said the Kid. "I got into a little gun frolic down in
Laredo and plugged a white man. There wasn't any Mexican handy. And I come down
to your parrot-and-monkey range just for to smell the morning-glories and
marigolds. Now, do you sabe?"
Thacker got up and
closed the door.
"Let me see your
hand," he said.
He took the Kid's left
hand, and examined the back of it closely.
"I can do it,"
he said excitedly. "Your flesh is as hard as wood and as healthy as a
baby's. It will heal in a week."
"If it's a fist
fight you want to back me for," said the Kid, "don't put your money
up yet. Make it gun work, and I'll keep you company. But no barehanded
scrapping, like ladies at a tea-party, for me."
"It's easier than
that," said Thacker. "Just step here, will you?"
Through the window he
pointed to a two-story white-stuccoed house with wide galleries rising amid the
deep-green tropical foliage on a wooded hill that sloped gently from the sea.
"In that
house," said Thacker, "a fine old Castilian gentleman and his wife
are yearning to gather you into their arms and fill your pockets with money.
Old Santos Urique lives there. He owns half the gold-mines in the
country."
"You haven't been
eating loco weed, have you?" asked the Kid.
"Sit down
again," said Thacker, "and I'll tell you. Twelve years ago they lost
a kid. No, he didn't die—although most of 'em here do from drinking the surface
water. He was a wild little devil, even if he wasn't but eight years old.
Everybody knows about it. Some Americans who were through here prospecting for
gold had letters to Señor Urique, and the boy was a favorite with them. They
filled his head with big stories about the States; and about a month after they
left, the kid disappeared, too. He was supposed to have stowed himself away
among the banana bunches on a fruit steamer, and gone to New Orleans. He was
seen once afterward in Texas, it was thought, but they never heard anything
more of him. Old Urique has spent thousands of dollars having him looked for.
The madam was broken up worst of all. The kid was her life. She wears mourning
yet. But they say she believes he'll come back to her some day, and never gives
up hope. On the back of the boy's left hand was tattooed a flying eagle
carrying a spear in his claws. That's old Urique's coat of arms or something
that he inherited in Spain."
The Kid raised his left
hand slowly and gazed at it curiously.
"That's it,"
said Thacker, reaching behind the official desk for his bottle of smuggled
brandy. "You're not so slow. I can do it. What was I consul at Sandakan
for? I never knew till now. In a week I'll have the eagle bird with the
frog-sticker blended in so you'd think you were born with it. I brought a set
of the needles and ink just because I was sure you'd drop in some day, Mr.
Dalton."
"Oh, hell,"
said the Kid. "I thought I told you my name!"
"All right, 'Kid,'
then. It won't be that long. How does Señorito Urique sound, for a
change?"
"I never played son
any that I remember of," said the Kid. "If I had any parents to
mention they went over the divide about the time I gave my first bleat. What is
the plan of your round-up?"
Thacker leaned back
against the wall and held his glass up to the light.
"We've come now,"
said he, "to the question of how far you're willing to go in a little
matter of the sort."
"I told you why I
came down here," said the Kid simply.
"A good
answer," said the consul. "But you won't have to go that far. Here's
the scheme. After I get the trademark tattooed on your hand I'll notify old
Urique. In the meantime I'll furnish you with all of the family history I can
find out, so you can be studying up points to talk about. You've got the looks,
you speak the Spanish, you know the facts, you can tell about Texas, you've got
the tattoo mark. When I notify them that the rightful heir has returned and is
waiting to know whether he will be received and pardoned, what will happen?
They'll simply rush down here and fall on your neck, and the curtain goes down
for refreshments and a stroll in the lobby."
"I'm waiting,"
said the Kid. "I haven't had my saddle off in your camp long, pardner, and
I never met you before; but if you intend to let it go at a parental blessing,
why, I'm mistaken in my man, that's all."
"Thanks," said
the consul. "I haven't met anybody in a long time that keeps up with an
argument as well as you do. The rest of it is simple. If they take you in only
for a while it's long enough. Don't give 'em time to hunt up the strawberry
mark on your left shoulder. Old Urique keeps anywhere from $50,000 to $100,000
in his house all the time in a little safe that you could open with a shoe
buttoner. Get it. My skill as a tattooer is worth half the boddle. We go halves
and catch a tramp steamer for Rio Janeiro. Let the United States go to pieces
if it can't get along without my services. Que dice, señor?"
"It sounds to
me!" said the Kid, nodding his head. "I'm out for the dust."
"All right,
then," said Thacker. "You'll have to keep close until we get the bird
on you. You can live in the back room here. I do my own cooking, and I'll make
you as comfortable as a parsimonious Government will allow me."
Thacker had set the time
at a week, but it was two weeks before the design that he patiently tattooed
upon the Kid's hand was to his notion. And then Thacker called a muchacho,
and dispatched this note to the intended victim:
El
Señor Don Santos Urique,
La Casa Blanca,
My
Dear Sir:
I beg permission to
inform you that there is in my house as a temporary guest a young man who
arrived in Buenas Tierras from the United States some days ago. Without wishing
to excite any hopes that may not be realized, I think there is a possibility of
his being your long-absent son. It might be well for you to call and see him.
If he is, it is my opinion that his intention was to return to his home, but
upon arriving here, his courage failed him from doubts as to how he would be
received. Your true servant,
Thompson Thacker.
Half an hour
afterward—quick time for Buenas Tierras—Señor Urique's ancient landau drove to
the consul's door, with the barefooted coachman beating and shouting at the
team of fat, awkward horses.
A tall man with a white
moustache alighted, and assisted to the ground a lady who was dressed and
veiled in unrelieved black.
The two hastened inside,
and were met by Thacker with his best diplomatic bow. By his desk stood a
slender young man with clear-cut, sun-browned features and smoothly brushed
black hair.
Señora Urique threw back
her black veil with a quick gesture. She was past middle age, and her hair was
beginning to silver, but her full, proud figure and clear olive skin retained
traces of the beauty peculiar to the Basque province. But, once you had seen
her eyes, and comprehended the great sadness that was revealed in their deep
shadows and hopeless expression, you saw that the woman lived only in some
memory.
She bent upon the young
man a long look of the most agonized questioning. Then her great black eyes
turned, and her gaze rested upon his left hand. And then with a sob, not loud,
but seeming to shake the room, she cried "Hijo mio!" and
caught the Llano Kid to her heart.
A month afterward the
Kid came to the consulate in response to a message sent by Thacker.
He looked the young
Spanish caballero. His clothes were imported, and the wiles of the
jewellers had not been spent upon him in vain. A more than respectable diamond
shone on his finger as he rolled a shuck cigarette.
"What's
doing?" asked Thacker.
"Nothing
much," said the Kid calmly. "I eat my first iguana steak to-day.
They're them big lizards, you sabe? I reckon, though, that frijoles
and side bacon would do me about as well. Do you care for iguanas,
Thacker?"
"No, nor for some
other kinds of reptiles," said Thacker.
It was three in the afternoon,
and in another hour he would be in his state of beatitude.
"It's time you were
making good, sonny," he went on, with an ugly look on his reddened face.
"You're not playing up to me square. You've been the prodigal son for four
weeks now, and you could have had veal for every meal on a gold dish if you'd
wanted it. Now, Mr. Kid, do you think it's right to leave me out so long on a
husk diet? What's the trouble? Don't you get your filial eyes on anything that
looks like cash in the Casa Blanca? Don't tell me you don't. Everybody knows
where old Urique keeps his stuff. It's U.S. currency, too; he don't accept
anything else. What's doing? Don't say 'nothing' this time."
"Why, sure,"
said the Kid, admiring his diamond, "there's plenty of money up there. I'm
no judge of collateral in bunches, but I will undertake for to say that I've
seen the rise of $50,000 at a time in that tin grub box that my adopted father
calls his safe. And he lets me carry the key sometimes just to show me that he
knows I'm the real little Francisco that strayed from the herd a long time
ago."
"Well, what are you
waiting for?" asked Thacker, angrily. "Don't you forget that I can
upset your apple-cart any day I want to. If old Urique knew you were an
imposter, what sort of things would happen to you? Oh, you don't know this
country, Mr. Texas Kid. The laws here have got mustard spread between 'em.
These people here'd stretch you out like a frog that had been stepped on, and
give you about fifty sticks at every corner of the plaza. And they'd wear every
stick out, too. What was left of you they'd feed to alligators."
"I might just as
well tell you now, pardner," said the Kid, sliding down low on his steamer
chair, "that things are going to stay just as they are. They're about
right now."
"What do you
mean?" asked Thacker, rattling the bottom of his glass on his desk.
"The scheme's
off," said the Kid. "And whenever you have the pleasure of speaking
to me address me as Don Francisco Urique. I'll guarantee I'll answer to it.
We'll let Colonel Urique keep his money. His little tin safe is as good as the
time-locker in the First National Bank of Laredo as far as you and me are
concerned."
"You're going to
throw me down, then, are you?" said the consul.
"Sure," said
the Kid cheerfully. "Throw you down. That's it. And now I'll tell you why.
The first night I was up at the colonel's house they introduced me to a
bedroom. No blankets on the floor—a real room, with a bed and things in it. And
before I was asleep, in comes this artificial mother of mine and tucks in the
covers. 'Panchito,' she says, 'my little lost one, God has brought you back to
me. I bless His name forever.' It was that, or some truck like that, she said.
And down comes a drop or two of rain and hits me on the nose. And all that stuck
by me, Mr. Thacker. And it's been that way ever since. And it's got to stay
that way. Don't you think that it's for what's in it for me, either, that I say
so. If you have any such ideas, keep 'em to yourself. I haven't had much truck
with women in my life, and no mothers to speak of, but here's a lady that we've
got to keep fooled. Once she stood it; twice she won't. I'm a low-down wolf,
and the devil may have sent me on this trail instead of God, but I'll travel it
to the end. And now, don't forget that I'm Don Francisco Urique whenever you
happen to mention my name."
"I'll expose you
to-day, you—you double-dyed traitor," stammered Thacker.
The Kid arose and,
without violence, took Thacker by the throat with a hand of steel, and shoved
him slowly into a corner. Then he drew from under his left arm his
pearl-handled .45 and poked the cold muzzle of it against the consul's mouth.
"I told you why I
come here," he said, with his old freezing smile. "If I leave here,
you'll be the reason. Never forget it, pardner. Now, what is my name?"
"Er—Don Francisco
Urique," gasped Thacker.
From outside came a
sound of wheels, and the shouting of some one, and the sharp thwacks of a
wooden whipstock upon the backs of fat horses.
The Kid put up his gun,
and walked toward the door. But he turned again and came back to the trembling
Thacker, and held up his left hand with its back toward the consul.
"There's one more
reason," he said slowly, "why things have got to stand as they are.
The fellow I killed in Laredo had one of them same pictures on his left
hand."
Outside, the ancient
landau of Don Santos Urique rattled to the door. The coachman ceased his
bellowing. Señora Urique, in a voluminous gay gown of white lace and flying
ribbons, leaned forward with a happy look in her great soft eyes.
"Are you within,
dear son?" she called, in the rippling Castilian.
"Madre mia, yo
vengo [mother, I come]," answered the young Don Francisco Urique.
IX.THE PASSING OF BLACK EAGLE
For some months of a
certain year a grim bandit infested the Texas border along the Rio Grande.
Peculiarly striking to the optic nerve was this notorious marauder. His
personality secured him the title of "Black Eagle, the Terror of the
Border." Many fearsome tales are on record concerning the doings of him and
his followers. Suddenly, in the space of a single minute, Black Eagle vanished
from earth. He was never heard of again. His own band never even guessed the
mystery of his disappearance. The border ranches and settlements feared he
would come again to ride and ravage the mesquite flats. He never will. It is to
disclose the fate of Black Eagle that this narrative is written.
The initial movement of
the story is furnished by the foot of a bartender in St. Louis. His discerning
eye fell upon the form of Chicken Ruggles as he pecked with avidity at the free
lunch. Chicken was a "hobo." He had a long nose like the bill of a
fowl, an inordinate appetite for poultry, and a habit of gratifying it without
expense, which accounts for the name given him by his fellow vagrants.
Physicians agree that
the partaking of liquids at meal times is not a healthy practice. The hygiene
of the saloon promulgates the opposite. Chicken had neglected to purchase a
drink to accompany his meal. The bartender rounded the counter, caught the
injudicious diner by the ear with a lemon squeezer, led him to the door and
kicked him into the street.
Thus the mind of Chicken
was brought to realize the signs of coming winter. The night was cold; the
stars shone with unkindly brilliancy; people were hurrying along the streets in
two egotistic, jostling streams. Men had donned their overcoats, and Chicken
knew to an exact percentage the increased difficulty of coaxing dimes from
those buttoned-in vest pockets. The time had come for his annual exodus to the
south.
A little boy, five or
six years old, stood looking with covetous eyes in a confectioner's window. In
one small hand he held an empty two-ounce vial; in the other he grasped tightly
something flat and round, with a shining milled edge. The scene presented a
field of operations commensurate to Chicken's talents and daring. After
sweeping the horizon to make sure that no official tug was cruising near, he
insidiously accosted his prey. The boy, having been early taught by his
household to regard altruistic advances with extreme suspicion, received the
overtures coldly.
Then Chicken knew that
he must make one of those desperate, nerve-shattering plunges into speculation
that fortune sometimes requires of those who would win her favour. Five cents was
his capital, and this he must risk against the chance of winning what lay
within the close grasp of the youngster's chubby hand. It was a fearful
lottery, Chicken knew. But he must accomplish his end by strategy, since he had
a wholesome terror of plundering infants by force. Once, in a park, driven by
hunger, he had committed an onslaught upon a bottle of peptonized infant's food
in the possession of an occupant of a baby carriage. The outraged infant had so
promptly opened its mouth and pressed the button that communicated with the
welkin that help arrived, and Chicken did his thirty days in a snug coop.
Wherefore he was, as he said, "leary of kids."
Beginning artfully to
question the boy concerning his choice of sweets, he gradually drew out the
information he wanted. Mamma said he was to ask the drug store man for ten
cents' worth of paregoric in the bottle; he was to keep his hand shut tight
over the dollar; he must not stop to talk to anyone in the street; he must ask
the drug-store man to wrap up the change and put it in the pocket of his
trousers. Indeed, they had pockets—two of them! And he liked chocolate creams
best.
Chicken went into the
store and turned plunger. He invested his entire capital in C.A.N.D.Y. stocks,
simply to pave the way to the greater risk following.
He gave the sweets to
the youngster, and had the satisfaction of perceiving that confidence was
established. After that it was easy to obtain leadership of the expedition; to
take the investment by the hand and lead it to a nice drug store he knew of in
the same block. There Chicken, with a parental air, passed over the dollar and
called for the medicine, while the boy crunched his candy, glad to be relieved
of the responsibility of the purchase. And then the successful investor, searching
his pockets, found an overcoat button—the extent of his winter trousseau—and,
wrapping it carefully, placed the ostensible change in the pocket of confiding
juvenility. Setting the youngster's face homeward, and patting him benevolently
on the back—for Chicken's heart was as soft as those of his feathered
namesakes—the speculator quit the market with a profit of 1,700 per cent. on
his invested capital.
Two hours later an Iron
Mountain freight engine pulled out of the railroad yards, Texas bound, with a
string of empties. In one of the cattle cars, half buried in excelsior, Chicken
lay at ease. Beside him in his nest was a quart bottle of very poor whisky and
a paper bag of bread and cheese. Mr. Ruggles, in his private car, was on his
trip south for the winter season.
For a week that car was
trundled southward, shifted, laid over, and manipulated after the manner of
rolling stock, but Chicken stuck to it, leaving it only at necessary times to
satisfy his hunger and thirst. He knew it must go down to the cattle country,
and San Antonio, in the heart of it, was his goal. There the air was salubrious
and mild; the people indulgent and long-suffering. The bartenders there would
not kick him. If he should eat too long or too often at one place they would swear
at him as if by rote and without heat. They swore so drawlingly, and they
rarely paused short of their full vocabulary, which was copious, so that
Chicken had often gulped a good meal during the process of the vituperative
prohibition. The season there was always spring-like; the plazas were pleasant
at night, with music and gaiety; except during the slight and infrequent cold
snaps one could sleep comfortably out of doors in case the interiors should
develop inhospitability.
At Texarkana his car was
switched to the I. and G. N. Then still southward it trailed until, at length,
it crawled across the Colorado bridge at Austin, and lined out, straight as an
arrow, for the run to San Antonio.
When the freight halted
at that town Chicken was fast asleep. In ten minutes the train was off again
for Laredo, the end of the road. Those empty cattle cars were for distribution
along the line at points from which the ranches shipped their stock.
When Chicken awoke his
car was stationary. Looking out between the slats he saw it was a bright,
moonlit night. Scrambling out, he saw his car with three others abandoned on a
little siding in a wild and lonesome country. A cattle pen and chute stood on
one side of the track. The railroad bisected a vast, dim ocean of prairie, in
the midst of which Chicken, with his futile rolling stock, was as completely
stranded as was Robinson with his land-locked boat.
A white post stood near
the rails. Going up to it, Chicken read the letters at the top, S. A. 90.
Laredo was nearly as far to the south. He was almost a hundred miles from any
town. Coyotes began to yelp in the mysterious sea around him. Chicken felt
lonesome. He had lived in Boston without an education, in Chicago without
nerve, in Philadelphia without a sleeping place, in New York without a pull,
and in Pittsburg sober, and yet he had never felt so lonely as now.
Suddenly through the
intense silence, he heard the whicker of a horse. The sound came from the side
of the track toward the east, and Chicken began to explore timorously in that
direction. He stepped high along the mat of curly mesquit grass, for he was
afraid of everything there might be in this wilderness—snakes, rats, brigands,
centipedes, mirages, cowboys, fandangoes, tarantulas, tamales—he had read of
them in the story papers. Rounding a clump of prickly pear that reared high its
fantastic and menacing array of rounded heads, he was struck to shivering
terror by a snort and a thunderous plunge, as the horse, himself startled,
bounded away some fifty yards, and then resumed his grazing. But here was the
one thing in the desert that Chicken did not fear. He had been reared on a
farm; he had handled horses, understood them, and could ride.
Approaching slowly and
speaking soothingly, he followed the animal, which, after its first flight,
seemed gentle enough, and secured the end of the twenty-foot lariat that
dragged after him in the grass. It required him but a few moments to contrive
the rope into an ingenious nose-bridle, after the style of the Mexican borsal.
In another he was upon the horse's back and off at a splendid lope, giving the
animal free choice of direction. "He will take me somewhere," said
Chicken to himself.
It would have been a
thing of joy, that untrammelled gallop over the moonlit prairie, even to Chicken,
who loathed exertion, but that his mood was not for it. His head ached; a
growing thirst was upon him; the "somewhere" whither his lucky mount
might convey him was full of dismal peradventure.
And now he noted that
the horse moved to a definite goal. Where the prairie lay smooth he kept his
course straight as an arrow's toward the east. Deflected by hill or arroyo or
impractical spinous brakes, he quickly flowed again into the current, charted
by his unerring instinct. At last, upon the side of a gentle rise, he suddenly
subsided to a complacent walk. A stone's cast away stood a little mott of coma
trees; beneath it a jacal such as the Mexicans erect—a
one-room house of upright poles daubed with clay and roofed with grass or tule
reeds. An experienced eye would have estimated the spot as the headquarters of
a small sheep ranch. In the moonlight the ground in the nearby corral showed
pulverized to a level smoothness by the hoofs of the sheep. Everywhere was
carelessly distributed the paraphernalia of the place—ropes, bridles, saddles,
sheep pelts, wool sacks, feed troughs, and camp litter. The barrel of drinking
water stood in the end of the two-horse wagon near the door. The harness was
piled, promiscuous, upon the wagon tongue, soaking up the dew.
Chicken slipped to
earth, and tied the horse to a tree. He halloed again and again, but the house
remained quiet. The door stood open, and he entered cautiously. The light was
sufficient for him to see that no one was at home. The room was that of a
bachelor ranchman who was content with the necessaries of life. Chicken
rummaged intelligently until he found what he had hardly dared hope for—a
small, brown jug that still contained something near a quart of his desire.
Half an hour later,
Chicken—now a gamecock of hostile aspect—emerged from the house with unsteady
steps. He had drawn upon the absent ranchman's equipment to replace his own
ragged attire. He wore a suit of coarse brown ducking, the coat being a sort of
rakish bolero, jaunty to a degree. Boots he had donned, and spurs that whirred
with every lurching step. Buckled around him was a belt full of cartridges with
a big six-shooter in each of its two holsters.
Prowling about, he found
blankets, a saddle and bridle with which he caparisoned his steed. Again
mounting, he rode swiftly away, singing a loud and tuneless song.
Bud King's band of
desperadoes, outlaws and horse and cattle thieves were in camp at a secluded
spot on the bank of the Frio. Their depredations in the Rio Grande country,
while no bolder than usual, had been advertised more extensively, and Captain
Kinney's company of rangers had been ordered down to look after them.
Consequently, Bud King, who was a wise general, instead of cutting out a hot
trail for the upholders of the law, as his men wished to do, retired for the
time to the prickly fastnesses of the Frio valley.
Though the move was a
prudent one, and not incompatible with Bud's well-known courage, it raised
dissension among the members of the band. In fact, while they thus lay ingloriously perdu in
the brush, the question of Bud King's fitness for the leadership was argued,
with closed doors, as it were, by his followers. Never before had Bud's skill
or efficiency been brought to criticism; but his glory was waning (and such is
glory's fate) in the light of a newer star. The sentiment of the band was
crystallizing into the opinion that Black Eagle could lead them with more
lustre, profit, and distinction.
This Black
Eagle—sub-titled the "Terror of the Border"—had been a member of the
gang about three months.
One night while they
were in camp on the San Miguel water-hole a solitary horseman on the regulation
fiery steed dashed in among them. The newcomer was of a portentous and
devastating aspect. A beak-like nose with a predatory curve projected above a
mass of bristling, blue-black whiskers. His eye was cavernous and fierce. He
was spurred, sombreroed, booted, garnished with revolvers, abundantly drunk,
and very much unafraid. Few people in the country drained by the Rio Bravo
would have cared thus to invade alone the camp of Bud King. But this fell bird
swooped fearlessly upon them and demanded to be fed.
Hospitality in the
prairie country is not limited. Even if your enemy pass your way you must feed
him before you shoot him. You must empty your larder into him before you empty
your lead. So the stranger of undeclared intentions was set down to a mighty
feast.
A talkative bird he was,
full of most marvellous loud tales and exploits, and speaking a language at
times obscure but never colourless. He was a new sensation to Bud King's men,
who rarely encountered new types. They hung, delighted, upon his vainglorious
boasting, the spicy strangeness of his lingo, his contemptuous familiarity with
life, the world, and remote places, and the extravagant frankness with which he
conveyed his sentiments.
To their guest the band
of outlaws seemed to be nothing more than a congregation of country bumpkins
whom he was "stringing for grub" just as he would have told his
stories at the back door of a farmhouse to wheedle a meal. And, indeed, his
ignorance was not without excuse, for the "bad man" of the Southwest
does not run to extremes. Those brigands might justly have been taken for a
little party of peaceable rustics assembled for a fish-fry or pecan gathering.
Gentle of manner, slouching of gait, soft-voiced, unpicturesquely clothed; not
one of them presented to the eye any witness of the desperate records they had
earned.
For two days the
glittering stranger within the camp was feasted. Then, by common consent, he
was invited to become a member of the band. He consented, presenting for
enrollment the prodigious name of "Captain Montressor." This name was
immediately overruled by the band, and "Piggy" substituted as a
compliment to the awful and insatiate appetite of its owner.
Thus did the Texas
border receive the most spectacular brigand that ever rode its chaparral.
For the next three
months Bud King conducted business as usual, escaping encounters with law
officers and being content with reasonable profits. The band ran off some very
good companies of horses from the ranges, and a few bunches of fine cattle
which they got safely across the Rio Grande and disposed of to fair advantage.
Often the band would ride into the little villages and Mexican settlements,
terrorizing the inhabitants and plundering for the provisions and ammunition
they needed. It was during these bloodless raids that Piggy's ferocious aspect
and frightful voice gained him a renown more widespread and glorious than those
other gentle-voiced and sad-faced desperadoes could have acquired in a
lifetime.
The Mexicans, most apt
in nomenclature, first called him The Black Eagle, and used to frighten the
babes by threatening them with tales of the dreadful robber who carried off
little children in his great beak. Soon the name extended, and Black Eagle, the
Terror of the Border, became a recognized factor in exaggerated newspaper
reports and ranch gossip.
The country from the
Nueces to the Rio Grande was a wild but fertile stretch, given over to the
sheep and cattle ranches. Range was free; the inhabitants were few; the law was
mainly a letter, and the pirates met with little opposition until the flaunting
and garish Piggy gave the band undue advertisement. Then Kinney's ranger
company headed for those precincts, and Bud King knew that it meant grim and
sudden war or else temporary retirement. Regarding the risk to be unnecessary,
he drew off his band to an almost inaccessible spot on the bank of the Frio.
Wherefore, as has been said, dissatisfaction arose among the members, and
impeachment proceedings against Bud were premeditated, with Black Eagle in high
favour for the succession. Bud King was not unaware of the sentiment, and he
called aside Cactus Taylor, his trusted lieutenant, to discuss it.
"If the boys,"
said Bud, "ain't satisfied with me, I'm willing to step out. They're
buckin' against my way of handlin' 'em. And 'specially because I concludes to
hit the brush while Sam Kinney is ridin' the line. I saves 'em from bein' shot
or sent up on a state contract, and they up and says I'm no good."
"It ain't so much
that," explained Cactus, "as it is they're plum locoed about Piggy.
They want them whiskers and that nose of his to split the wind at the head of
the column."
"There's somethin'
mighty seldom about Piggy," declared Bud, musingly. "I never yet see
anything on the hoof that he exactly grades up with. He can shore holler a
plenty, and he straddles a hoss from where you laid the chunk. But he ain't
never been smoked yet. You know, Cactus, we ain't had a row since he's been
with us. Piggy's all right for skearin' the greaser kids and layin' waste a
cross-roads store. I reckon he's the finest canned oyster buccaneer and cheese
pirate that ever was, but how's his appetite for fightin'? I've knowed some
citizens you'd think was starvin' for trouble get a bad case of dyspepsy the
first dose of lead they had to take."
"He talks all
spraddled out," said Cactus, "'bout the rookuses he's been in. He
claims to have saw the elephant and hearn the owl."
"I know,"
replied Bud, using the cowpuncher's expressive phrase of skepticism, "but
it sounds to me!"
This conversation was
held one night in camp while the other members of the band—eight in number—were
sprawling around the fire, lingering over their supper. When Bud and Cactus
ceased talking they heard Piggy's formidable voice holding forth to the others
as usual while he was engaged in checking, though never satisfying, his
ravening appetite.
"Wat's de
use," he was saying, "of chasin' little red cowses and hosses 'round
for t'ousands of miles? Dere ain't nuttin' in it. Gallopin' t'rough dese bushes
and briers, and gettin' a t'irst dat a brewery couldn't put out, and missin'
meals! Say! You know what I'd do if I was main finger of dis bunch? I'd stick up
a train. I'd blow de express car and make hard dollars where you guys get wind.
Youse makes me tired. Dis sook-cow kind of cheap sport gives me a pain."
Later on, a deputation
waited on Bud. They stood on one leg, chewed mesquit twigs and circumlocuted,
for they hated to hurt his feelings. Bud foresaw their business, and made it
easy for them. Bigger risks and larger profits was what they wanted.
The suggestion of
Piggy's about holding up a train had fired their imagination and increased
their admiration for the dash and boldness of the instigator. They were such
simple, artless, and custom-bound bush-rangers that they had never before
thought of extending their habits beyond the running off of live-stock and the
shooting of such of their acquaintances as ventured to interfere.
Bud acted "on the
level," agreeing to take a subordinate place in the gang until Black Eagle
should have been given a trial as leader.
After a great deal of
consultation, studying of time-tables, and discussion of the country's topography,
the time and place for carrying out their new enterprise was decided upon. At
that time there was a feedstuff famine in Mexico and a cattle famine in certain
parts of the United States, and there was a brisk international trade. Much
money was being shipped along the railroads that connected the two republics.
It was agreed that the most promising place for the contemplated robbery was at
Espina, a little station on the I. and G. N., about forty miles north of
Laredo. The train stopped there one minute; the country around was wild and
unsettled; the station consisted of but one house in which the agent lived.
Black Eagle's band set
out, riding by night. Arriving in the vicinity of Espina they rested their
horses all day in a thicket a few miles distant.
The train was due at
Espina at 10.30 p.m. They
could rob the train and be well over the Mexican border with their booty by
daylight the next morning.
To do Black Eagle
justice, he exhibited no signs of flinching from the responsible honours that
had been conferred upon him.
He assigned his men to
their respective posts with discretion, and coached them carefully as to their
duties. On each side of the track four of the band were to lie concealed in the
chaparral. Gotch-Ear Rodgers was to stick up the station agent. Bronco Charlie
was to remain with the horses, holding them in readiness. At a spot where it
was calculated the engine would be when the train stopped, Bud King was to lie
hidden on one side, and Black Eagle himself on the other. The two would get the
drop on the engineer and fireman, force them to descend and proceed to the
rear. Then the express car would be looted, and the escape made. No one was to
move until Black Eagle gave the signal by firing his revolver. The plan was
perfect.
At ten minutes to train
time every man was at his post, effectually concealed by the thick chaparral
that grew almost to the rails. The night was dark and lowering, with a fine
drizzle falling from the flying gulf clouds. Black Eagle crouched behind a bush
within five yards of the track. Two six-shooters were belted around him.
Occasionally he drew a large black bottle from his pocket and raised it to his
mouth.
A star appeared far down
the track which soon waxed into the headlight of the approaching train. It came
on with an increasing roar; the engine bore down upon the ambushing desperadoes
with a glare and a shriek like some avenging monster come to deliver them to
justice. Black Eagle flattened himself upon the ground. The engine, contrary to
their calculations, instead of stopping between him and Bud King's place of
concealment, passed fully forty yards farther before it came to a stand.
The bandit leader rose
to his feet and peered through the bush. His men all lay quiet, awaiting the
signal. Immediately opposite Black Eagle was a thing that drew his attention.
Instead of being a regular passenger train it was a mixed one. Before him stood
a box car, the door of which, by some means, had been left slightly open. Black
Eagle went up to it and pushed the door farther open. An odour came forth—a
damp, rancid, familiar, musty, intoxicating, beloved odour stirring strongly at
old memories of happy days and travels. Black Eagle sniffed at the witching
smell as the returned wanderer smells of the rose that twines his boyhood's
cottage home. Nostalgia seized him. He put his hand inside. Excelsior—dry,
springy, curly, soft, enticing, covered the floor. Outside the drizzle had
turned to a chilling rain.
The train bell clanged.
The bandit chief unbuckled his belt and cast it, with its revolvers, upon the
ground. His spurs followed quickly, and his broad sombrero. Black Eagle was
moulting. The train started with a rattling jerk. The ex-Terror of the Border
scrambled into the box car and closed the door. Stretched luxuriously upon the
excelsior, with the black bottle clasped closely to his breast, his eyes
closed, and a foolish, happy smile upon his terrible features Chicken Ruggles
started upon his return trip.
Undisturbed, with the
band of desperate bandits lying motionless, awaiting the signal to attack, the
train pulled out from Espina. As its speed increased, and the black masses of
chaparral went whizzing past on either side, the express messenger, lighting
his pipe, looked through his window and remarked, feelingly:
"What a jim-dandy
place for a hold-up!"
X.A RETRIEVED REFORMATION
A guard came to the
prison shoe-shop, where Jimmy Valentine was assiduously stitching uppers, and
escorted him to the front office. There the warden handed Jimmy his pardon,
which had been signed that morning by the governor. Jimmy took it in a tired
kind of way. He had served nearly ten months of a four year sentence. He had
expected to stay only about three months, at the longest. When a man with as
many friends on the outside as Jimmy Valentine had is received in the
"stir" it is hardly worth while to cut his hair.
"Now,
Valentine," said the warden, "you'll go out in the morning. Brace up,
and make a man of yourself. You're not a bad fellow at heart. Stop cracking
safes, and live straight."
"Me?" said
Jimmy, in surprise. "Why, I never cracked a safe in my life."
"Oh, no,"
laughed the warden. "Of course not. Let's see, now. How was it you
happened to get sent up on that Springfield job? Was it because you wouldn't
prove an alibi for fear of compromising somebody in extremely high-toned
society? Or was it simply a case of a mean old jury that had it in for you?
It's always one or the other with you innocent victims."
"Me?" said
Jimmy, still blankly virtuous. "Why, warden, I never was in Springfield in
my life!"
"Take him back,
Cronin!" said the warden, "and fix him up with outgoing clothes.
Unlock him at seven in the morning, and let him come to the bull-pen. Better
think over my advice, Valentine."
At a quarter past seven
on the next morning Jimmy stood in the warden's outer office. He had on a suit
of the villainously fitting, ready-made clothes and a pair of the stiff,
squeaky shoes that the state furnishes to its discharged compulsory guests.
The clerk handed him a
railroad ticket and the five-dollar bill with which the law expected him to
rehabilitate himself into good citizenship and prosperity. The warden gave him
a cigar, and shook hands. Valentine, 9762, was chronicled on the books,
"Pardoned by Governor," and Mr. James Valentine walked out into the
sunshine.
Disregarding the song of
the birds, the waving green trees, and the smell of the flowers, Jimmy headed
straight for a restaurant. There he tasted the first sweet joys of liberty in
the shape of a broiled chicken and a bottle of white wine—followed by a cigar a
grade better than the one the warden had given him. From there he proceeded
leisurely to the depot. He tossed a quarter into the hat of a blind man sitting
by the door, and boarded his train. Three hours set him down in a little town
near the state line. He went to the café of one Mike Dolan and shook hands with
Mike, who was alone behind the bar.
"Sorry we couldn't
make it sooner, Jimmy, me boy," said Mike. "But we had that protest
from Springfield to buck against, and the governor nearly balked. Feeling all
right?"
"Fine," said
Jimmy. "Got my key?"
He got his key and went
upstairs, unlocking the door of a room at the rear. Everything was just as he
had left it. There on the floor was still Ben Price's collar-button that had
been torn from that eminent detective's shirt-band when they had overpowered
Jimmy to arrest him.
Pulling out from the
wall a folding-bed, Jimmy slid back a panel in the wall and dragged out a
dust-covered suit-case. He opened this and gazed fondly at the finest set of
burglar's tools in the East. It was a complete set, made of specially tempered
steel, the latest designs in drills, punches, braces and bits, jimmies, clamps,
and augers, with two or three novelties, invented by Jimmy himself, in which he
took pride. Over nine hundred dollars they had cost him to have made at ––––, a
place where they make such things for the profession.
In half an hour Jimmy
went down stairs and through the café. He was now dressed in tasteful and
well-fitting clothes, and carried his dusted and cleaned suit-case in his hand.
"Got anything
on?" asked Mike Dolan, genially.
"Me?" said
Jimmy, in a puzzled tone. "I don't understand. I'm representing the New
York Amalgamated Short Snap Biscuit Cracker and Frazzled Wheat Company."
This statement delighted
Mike to such an extent that Jimmy had to take a seltzer-and-milk on the spot.
He never touched "hard" drinks.
A week after the release
of Valentine, 9762, there was a neat job of safe-burglary done in Richmond,
Indiana, with no clue to the author. A scant eight hundred dollars was all that
was secured. Two weeks after that a patented, improved, burglar-proof safe in
Logansport was opened like a cheese to the tune of fifteen hundred dollars,
currency; securities and silver untouched. That began to interest the
rogue-catchers. Then an old-fashioned bank-safe in Jefferson City became active
and threw out of its crater an eruption of bank-notes amounting to five
thousand dollars. The losses were now high enough to bring the matter up into
Ben Price's class of work. By comparing notes, a remarkable similarity in the
methods of the burglaries was noticed. Ben Price investigated the scenes of the
robberies, and was heard to remark:
"That's Dandy Jim
Valentine's autograph. He's resumed business. Look at that combination
knob—jerked out as easy as pulling up a radish in wet weather. He's got the
only clamps that can do it. And look how clean those tumblers were punched out!
Jimmy never has to drill but one hole. Yes, I guess I want Mr. Valentine. He'll
do his bit next time without any short-time or clemency foolishness."
Ben Price knew Jimmy's
habits. He had learned them while working up the Springfield case. Long jumps,
quick get-aways, no confederates, and a taste for good society—these ways had
helped Mr. Valentine to become noted as a successful dodger of retribution. It
was given out that Ben Price had taken up the trail of the elusive cracksman,
and other people with burglar-proof safes felt more at ease.
One afternoon Jimmy
Valentine and his suit-case climbed out of the mail-hack in Elmore, a little
town five miles off the railroad down in the black-jack country of Arkansas.
Jimmy, looking like an athletic young senior just home from college, went down
the board side-walk toward the hotel.
A young lady crossed the
street, passed him at the corner and entered a door over which was the sign,
"The Elmore Bank." Jimmy Valentine looked into her eyes, forgot what
he was, and became another man. She lowered her eyes and coloured slightly.
Young men of Jimmy's style and looks were scarce in Elmore.
Jimmy collared a boy
that was loafing on the steps of the bank as if he were one of the
stockholders, and began to ask him questions about the town, feeding him dimes
at intervals. By and by the young lady came out, looking royally unconscious of
the young man with the suit-case, and went her way.
"Isn't that young
lady Polly Simpson?" asked Jimmy, with specious guile.
"Naw," said
the boy. "She's Annabel Adams. Her pa owns this bank. What'd you come to
Elmore for? Is that a gold watch-chain? I'm going to get a bulldog. Got any
more dimes?"
Jimmy went to the
Planters' Hotel, registered as Ralph D. Spencer, and engaged a room. He leaned
on the desk and declared his platform to the clerk. He said he had come to
Elmore to look for a location to go into business. How was the shoe business,
now, in the town? He had thought of the shoe business. Was there an opening?
The clerk was impressed
by the clothes and manner of Jimmy. He, himself, was something of a pattern of
fashion to the thinly gilded youth of Elmore, but he now perceived his
shortcomings. While trying to figure out Jimmy's manner of tying his
four-in-hand he cordially gave information.
Yes, there ought to be a
good opening in the shoe line. There wasn't an exclusive shoe-store in the
place. The dry-goods and general stores handled them. Business in all lines was
fairly good. Hoped Mr. Spencer would decide to locate in Elmore. He would find
it a pleasant town to live in, and the people very sociable.
Mr. Spencer thought he
would stop over in the town a few days and look over the situation. No, the
clerk needn't call the boy. He would carry up his suit-case, himself; it was
rather heavy.
Mr. Ralph Spencer, the
phœnix that arose from Jimmy Valentine's ashes—ashes left by the flame of a
sudden and alterative attack of love—remained in Elmore, and prospered. He
opened a shoe-store and secured a good run of trade.
Socially he was also a
success, and made many friends. And he accomplished the wish of his heart. He
met Miss Annabel Adams, and became more and more captivated by her charms.
At the end of a year the
situation of Mr. Ralph Spencer was this: he had won the respect of the
community, his shoe-store was flourishing, and he and Annabel were engaged to
be married in two weeks. Mr. Adams, the typical, plodding, country banker,
approved of Spencer. Annabel's pride in him almost equalled her affection. He
was as much at home in the family of Mr. Adams and that of Annabel's married
sister as if he were already a member.
One day Jimmy sat down
in his room and wrote this letter, which he mailed to the safe address of one
of his old friends in St. Louis:
Dear
Old Pal:
I want you to be at
Sullivan's place, in Little Rock, next Wednesday night, at nine o'clock. I want
you to wind up some little matters for me. And, also, I want to make you a
present of my kit of tools. I know you'll be glad to get them—you couldn't
duplicate the lot for a thousand dollars. Say, Billy, I've quit the old
business—a year ago. I've got a nice store. I'm making an honest living, and
I'm going to marry the finest girl on earth two weeks from now. It's the only
life, Billy—the straight one. I wouldn't touch a dollar of another man's money
now for a million. After I get married I'm going to sell out and go West, where
there won't be so much danger of having old scores brought up against me. I
tell you, Billy, she's an angel. She believes in me; and I wouldn't do another
crooked thing for the whole world. Be sure to be at Sully's, for I must see
you. I'll bring along the tools with me.
Your old friend,
Jimmy.
On the Monday night
after Jimmy wrote this letter, Ben Price jogged unobtrusively into Elmore in a
livery buggy. He lounged about town in his quiet way until he found out what he
wanted to know. From the drug-store across the street from Spencer's shoe-store
he got a good look at Ralph D. Spencer.
"Going to marry the
banker's daughter are you, Jimmy?" said Ben to himself, softly.
"Well, I don't know!"
The next morning Jimmy
took breakfast at the Adamses. He was going to Little Rock that day to order
his wedding-suit and buy something nice for Annabel. That would be the first
time he had left town since he came to Elmore. It had been more than a year now
since those last professional "jobs," and he thought he could safely
venture out.
After breakfast quite a
family party went downtown together—Mr. Adams, Annabel, Jimmy, and Annabel's
married sister with her two little girls, aged five and nine. They came by the
hotel where Jimmy still boarded, and he ran up to his room and brought along
his suit-case. Then they went on to the bank. There stood Jimmy's horse and
buggy and Dolph Gibson, who was going to drive him over to the railroad
station.
All went inside the
high, carved oak railings into the banking-room—Jimmy included, for Mr. Adams's
future son-in-law was welcome anywhere. The clerks were pleased to be greeted
by the good-looking, agreeable young man who was going to marry Miss Annabel.
Jimmy set his suit-case down. Annabel, whose heart was bubbling with happiness
and lively youth, put on Jimmy's hat, and picked up the suit-case.
"Wouldn't I make a nice drummer?" said Annabel. "My! Ralph, how
heavy it is? Feels like it was full of gold bricks."
"Lot of
nickel-plated shoe-horns in there," said Jimmy, coolly, "that I'm
going to return. Thought I'd save express charges by taking them up. I'm
getting awfully economical."
The Elmore Bank had just
put in a new safe and vault. Mr. Adams was very proud of it, and insisted on an
inspection by every one. The vault was a small one, but it had a new, patented
door. It fastened with three solid steel bolts thrown simultaneously with a
single handle, and had a time-lock. Mr. Adams beamingly explained its workings
to Mr. Spencer, who showed a courteous but not too intelligent interest. The
two children, May and Agatha, were delighted by the shining metal and funny
clock and knobs.
While they were thus
engaged Ben Price sauntered in and leaned on his elbow, looking casually inside
between the railings. He told the teller that he didn't want anything; he was
just waiting for a man he knew.
Suddenly there was a
scream or two from the women, and a commotion. Unperceived by the elders, May,
the nine-year-old girl, in a spirit of play, had shut Agatha in the vault. She
had then shot the bolts and turned the knob of the combination as she had seen
Mr. Adams do.
The old banker sprang to
the handle and tugged at it for a moment. "The door can't be opened,"
he groaned. "The clock hasn't been wound nor the combination set."
Agatha's mother screamed
again, hysterically.
"Hush!" said
Mr. Adams, raising his trembling hand. "All be quite for a moment.
Agatha!" he called as loudly as he could. "Listen to me." During
the following silence they could just hear the faint sound of the child wildly
shrieking in the dark vault in a panic of terror.
"My precious
darling!" wailed the mother. "She will die of fright! Open the door!
Oh, break it open! Can't you men do something?"
"There isn't a man
nearer than Little Rock who can open that door," said Mr. Adams, in a
shaky voice. "My God! Spencer, what shall we do? That child—she can't
stand it long in there. There isn't enough air, and, besides, she'll go into
convulsions from fright."
Agatha's mother, frantic
now, beat the door of the vault with her hands. Somebody wildly suggested
dynamite. Annabel turned to Jimmy, her large eyes full of anguish, but not yet
despairing. To a woman nothing seems quite impossible to the powers of the man
she worships.
"Can't you do
something, Ralph—try, won't you?"
He looked at her with a
queer, soft smile on his lips and in his keen eyes.
"Annabel," he
said, "give me that rose you are wearing, will you?"
Hardly believing that
she heard him aright, she unpinned the bud from the bosom of her dress, and
placed it in his hand. Jimmy stuffed it into his vest-pocket, threw off his
coat and pulled up his shirt-sleeves. With that act Ralph D. Spencer passed
away and Jimmy Valentine took his place.
"Get away from the
door, all of you," he commanded, shortly.
He set his suit-case on
the table, and opened it out flat. From that time on he seemed to be
unconscious of the presence of any one else. He laid out the shining, queer
implements swiftly and orderly, whistling softly to himself as he always did
when at work. In a deep silence and immovable, the others watched him as if
under a spell.
In a minute Jimmy's pet
drill was biting smoothly into the steel door. In ten minutes—breaking his own
burglarious record—he threw back the bolts and opened the door.
Agatha, almost collapsed,
but safe, was gathered into her mother's arms.
Jimmy Valentine put on
his coat, and walked outside the railings towards the front door. As he went he
thought he heard a far-away voice that he once knew call "Ralph!" But
he never hesitated.
At the door a big man
stood somewhat in his way.
"Hello, Ben!"
said Jimmy, still with his strange smile. "Got around at last, have you?
Well, let's go. I don't know that it makes much difference, now."
And then Ben Price acted
rather strangely.
"Guess you're
mistaken, Mr. Spencer," he said. "Don't believe I recognize you. Your
buggy's waiting for you, ain't it?"
And Ben Price turned and
strolled down the street.
XI.CHERCHEZ LA FEMME
Robbins, reporter for
the Picayune, and Dumars, of L'Abeille—the old French
newspaper that has buzzed for nearly a century—were good friends, well proven
by years of ups and downs together. They were seated where they had a habit of
meeting—in the little, Creole-haunted café of Madame Tibault, in Dumaine
Street. If you know the place, you will experience a thrill of pleasure in
recalling it to mind. It is small and dark, with six little polished tables, at
which you may sit and drink the best coffee in New Orleans, and concoctions of
absinthe equal to Sazerac's best. Madame Tibault, fat and indulgent, presides
at the desk, and takes your money. Nicolette and Mémé, madame's nieces, in
charming bib aprons, bring the desirable beverages.
Dumars, with true Creole
luxury, was sipping his absinthe, with half-closed eyes, in a swirl of
cigarette smoke. Robbins was looking over the morning Pic.,
detecting, as young reporters will, the gross blunders in the make-up, and the
envious blue-pencilling his own stuff had received. This item, in the
advertising columns, caught his eye, and with an exclamation of sudden interest
he read it aloud to his friend.
Public
Auction.—At three o'clock this
afternoon there will be sold to the highest bidder all the common property of
the Little Sisters of Samaria, at the home of the Sisterhood, in Bonhomme
Street. The sale will dispose of the building, ground, and the complete
furnishings of the house and chapel, without reserve.
This notice stirred the
two friends to a reminiscent talk concerning an episode in their journalistic
career that had occurred about two years before. They recalled the incidents,
went over the old theories, and discussed it anew from the different
perspective time had brought.
There were no other
customers in the café. Madame's fine ear had caught the line of their talk, and
she came over to their table—for had it not been her lost money—her vanished
twenty thousand dollars—that had set the whole matter going?
The three took up the
long-abandoned mystery, threshing over the old, dry chaff of it. It was in the
chapel of this house of the Little Sisters of Samaria that Robbins and Dumars
had stood during that eager, fruitless news search of theirs, and looked upon
the gilded statue of the Virgin.
"Thass so,
boys," said madame, summing up. "Thass ver' wicked man, M'sieur
Morin. Everybody shall be cert' he steal those money I plaze in his hand for
keep safe. Yes. He's boun' spend that money, somehow." Madame turned a
broad and contemplative smile upon Dumars. "I ond'stand you, M'sieur
Dumars, those day you come ask fo' tell ev'ything I know 'bout M'sieur Morin.
Ah! yes, I know most time when those men lose money you say 'Cherchez la
femme'—there is somewhere the woman. But not for M'sieur Morin. No, boys.
Before he shall die, he is like one saint. You might's well, M'sieur Dumars, go
try find those money in those statue of Virgin Mary that M'sieur Morin present
at those p'tite sœurs, as try find one femme."
At Madame Tibault's last
words, Robbins started slightly and cast a keen, sidelong glance at Dumars. The
Creole sat, unmoved, dreamily watching the spirals of his cigarette smoke.
It was then nine o'clock
in the morning and, a few minutes later, the two friends separated, going
different ways to their day's duties. And now follows the brief story of Madame
Tibault's vanished thousands:
New Orleans will readily
recall to mind the circumstances attendant upon the death of Mr. Gaspard Morin,
in that city. Mr. Morin was an artistic goldsmith and jeweller in the old
French Quarter, and a man held in the highest esteem. He belonged to one of the
oldest French families, and was of some distinction as an antiquary and
historian. He was a bachelor, about fifty years of age. He lived in quiet
comfort, at one of those rare old hostelries in Royal Street. He was found in
his rooms, one morning, dead from unknown causes.
When his affairs came to
be looked into, it was found that he was practically insolvent, his stock of
goods and personal property barely—but nearly enough to free him from
censure—covering his liabilities. Following came the disclosure that he had
been entrusted with the sum of twenty thousand dollars by a former upper
servant in the Morin family, one Madame Tibault, which she had received as a
legacy from relatives in France.
The most searching
scrutiny by friends and the legal authorities failed to reveal the disposition
of the money. It had vanished, and left no trace. Some weeks before his death,
Mr. Morin had drawn the entire amount, in gold coin, from the bank where it had
been placed while he looked about (he told Madame Tibault) for a safe
investment. Therefore, Mr. Morin's memory seemed doomed to bear the cloud of
dishonesty, while madame was, of course, disconsolate.
Then it was that Robbins
and Dumars, representing their respective journals, began one of those
pertinacious private investigations which, of late years, the press has adopted
as a means to glory and the satisfaction of public curiosity.
"Cherchez la
femme," said Dumars.
"That's the
ticket!" agreed Robbins. "All roads lead to the eternal feminine. We
will find the woman."
They exhausted the
knowledge of the staff of Mr. Morin's hotel, from the bell-boy down to the
proprietor. They gently, but inflexibly, pumped the family of the deceased as
far as his cousins twice removed. They artfully sounded the employees of the
late jeweller, and dogged his customers for information concerning his habits.
Like bloodhounds they traced every step of the supposed defaulter, as nearly as
might be, for years along the limited and monotonous paths he had trodden.
At the end of their
labours, Mr. Morin stood, an immaculate man. Not one weakness that might be
served up as a criminal tendency, not one deviation from the path of rectitude,
not even a hint of a predilection for the opposite sex, was found to be placed
in his debit. His life had been as regular and austere as a monk's; his habits,
simple and unconcealed. Generous, charitable, and a model in propriety, was the
verdict of all who knew him.
"What, now?"
asked Robbins, fingering his empty notebook.
"Cherchez la
femme," said Dumars, lighting a cigarette. "Try Lady
Bellairs."
This piece of femininity
was the race-track favourite of the season. Being feminine, she was erratic in
her gaits, and there were a few heavy losers about town who had believed she
could be true. The reporters applied for information.
Mr. Morin? Certainly
not. He was never even a spectator at the races. Not that kind of a man.
Surprised the gentlemen should ask.
"Shall we throw it
up?" suggested Robbins, "and let the puzzle department have a
try?"
"Cherchez la
femme," hummed Dumars, reaching for a match. "Try the Little
Sisters of What-d'-you-call-'em."
It had developed, during
the investigation, that Mr. Morin had held this benevolent order in particular
favour. He had contributed liberally toward its support and had chosen its
chapel as his favourite place of private worship. It was said that he went
there daily to make his devotions at the altar. Indeed, toward the last of his
life his whole mind seemed to have fixed itself upon religious matters, perhaps
to the detriment of his worldly affairs.
Thither went Robbins and
Dumars, and were admitted through the narrow doorway in the blank stone wall
that frowned upon Bonhomme Street. An old woman was sweeping the chapel. She
told them that Sister Félicité, the head of the order, was then at prayer at
the altar in the alcove. In a few moments she would emerge. Heavy, black
curtains screened the alcove. They waited.
Soon the curtains were
disturbed, and Sister Félicité came forth. She was tall, tragic, bony, and
plain-featured, dressed in the black gown and severe bonnet of the sisterhood.
Robbins, a good
rough-and-tumble reporter, but lacking the delicate touch, began to speak.
They represented the
press. The lady had, no doubt, heard of the Morin affair. It was necessary, in
justice to that gentleman's memory, to probe the mystery of the lost money. It
was known that he had come often to this chapel. Any information, now,
concerning Mr. Morin's habits, tastes, the friends he had, and so on, would be
of value in doing him posthumous justice.
Sister Félicité had
heard. Whatever she knew would be willingly told, but it was very little.
Monsieur Morin had been a good friend to the order, sometimes contributing as
much as a hundred dollars. The sisterhood was an independent one, depending
entirely upon private contributions for the means to carry on its charitable
work. Mr. Morin had presented the chapel with silver candlesticks and an altar
cloth. He came every day to worship in the chapel, sometimes remaining for an
hour. He was a devout Catholic, consecrated to holiness. Yes, and also in the
alcove was a statue of the Virgin that he had himself modeled, cast, and
presented to the order. Oh, it was cruel to cast a doubt upon so good a man!
Robbins was also
profoundly grieved at the imputation. But, until it was found what Mr. Morin
had done with Madame Tibault's money, he feared the tongue of slander would not
be stilled. Sometimes—in fact, very often—in affairs of the kind there
was—er—as the saying goes—er—a lady in the case. In absolute confidence,
now—if—perhaps—
Sister Félicité's large
eyes regarded him solemnly.
"There was one
woman," she said, slowly, "to whom he bowed—to whom he gave his
heart."
Robbins fumbled
rapturously for his pencil.
"Behold the
woman!" said Sister Félicité, suddenly, in deep tones.
She reached a long arm
and swept aside the curtain of the alcove. In there was a shrine, lit to a glow
of soft colour by the light pouring through a stained-glass window. Within a
deep niche in the bare stone wall stood an image of the Virgin Mary, the colour
of pure gold.
Dumars, a conventional
Catholic, succumbed to the dramatic in the act. He bowed his head for an
instant and made the sign of the cross. The somewhat abashed Robbins, murmuring
an indistinct apology, backed awkwardly away. Sister Félicité drew back the
curtain, and the reporters departed.
On the narrow stone
sidewalk of Bonhomme Street, Robbins turned to Dumars, with unworthy sarcasm.
"Well, what next?
Churchy law fem?"
"Absinthe,"
said Dumars.
With the history of the
missing money thus partially related, some conjecture may be formed of the
sudden idea that Madame Tibault's words seemed to have suggested to Robbins's
brain.
Was it so wild a
surmise—that the religious fanatic had offered up his wealth—or, rather, Madame
Tibault's—in the shape of a material symbol of his consuming devotion? Stranger
things have been done in the name of worship. Was it not possible that the lost
thousands were molded into that lustrous image? That the goldsmith had formed
it of the pure and precious metal, and set it there, through some hope of a
perhaps disordered brain to propitiate the saints and pave the way to his own
selfish glory?
That afternoon, at five
minutes to three, Robbins entered the chapel door of the Little Sisters of
Samaria. He saw, in the dim light, a crowd of perhaps a hundred people gathered
to attend the sale. Most of them were members of various religious orders,
priests and churchmen, come to purchase the paraphernalia of the chapel, lest
they fall into desecrating hands. Others were business men and agents come to
bid upon the realty. A clerical-looking brother had volunteered to wield the
hammer, bringing to the office of auctioneer the anomaly of choice diction and
dignity of manner.
A few of the minor articles
were sold, and then two assistants brought forward the image of the Virgin.
Robbins started the
bidding at ten dollars. A stout man, in an ecclesiastical garb, went to
fifteen. A voice from another part of the crowd raised to twenty. The three bid
alternately, raising by bids of five, until the offer was fifty dollars. Then
the stout man dropped out, and Robbins, as a sort of coup de main,
went to a hundred.
"One hundred and
fifty," said the other voice.
"Two hundred,"
bid Robbins, boldly.
"Two-fifty,"
called his competitor, promptly.
The reporter hesitated
for the space of a lightning flash, estimating how much he could borrow from
the boys in the office, and screw from the business manager from his next
month's salary.
"Three
hundred," he offered.
"Three-fifty,"
spoke up the other, in a louder voice—a voice that sent Robbins diving suddenly
through the crowd in its direction, to catch Dumars, its owner, ferociously by
the collar.
"You unconverted
idiot!" hissed Robbins, close to his ear—"pool!"
"Agreed!" said
Dumars, coolly. "I couldn't raise three hundred and fifty dollars with a
search-warrant, but I can stand half. What you come bidding against me
for?"
"I thought I was
the only fool in the crowd," explained Robbins.
No one else bidding, the
statue was knocked down to the syndicate at their last offer. Dumars remained
with the prize, while Robbins hurried forth to wring from the resources and
credit of both the price. He soon returned with the money, and the two
musketeers loaded their precious package into a carriage and drove with it to
Dumars's room, in old Chartres Street, nearby. They lugged it, covered with a
cloth, up the stairs, and deposited it on a table. A hundred pounds it weighed,
if an ounce, and at that estimate, according to their calculation, if their
daring theory were correct, it stood there, worth twenty thousand golden
dollars.
Robbins removed the
covering, and opened his pocket-knife.
"Sacré!"
muttered Dumars, shuddering. "It is the Mother of Christ. What would you
do?"
"Shut up, Judas!"
said Robbins, coldly. "It's too late for you to be saved now."
With a firm hand, he
chipped a slice from the shoulder of the image. The cut showed a dull, grayish
metal, with a thin coating of gold leaf.
"Lead!"
announced Robbins, hurling his knife to the floor—"gilded!"
"To the devil with
it!" said Dumars, forgetting his scruples. "I must have a
drink."
Together they walked
moodily to the café of Madame Tribault, two squares away.
It seemed that madame's
mind had been stirred that day to fresh recollections of the past services of
the two young men in her behalf.
"You mustn't sit by
those table," she interposed, as they were about to drop into their
accustomed seats. "Thass so, boys. But no. I mek you come at this room,
like my trés bon amis. Yes. I goin' mek for you myself one anisette and
one café royale ver' fine. Ah! I lak treat my fren' nize. Yes.
Plis come in this way."
Madame led them into the
little back room, into which she sometimes invited the especially favoured of
her customers. In two comfortable armchairs, by a big window that opened upon
the courtyard, she placed them, with a low table between. Bustling hospitably
about, she began to prepare the promised refreshments.
It was the first time
the reporters had been honoured with admission to the sacred precincts. The
room was in dusky twilight, flecked with gleams of the polished, fine woods and
burnished glass and metal that the Creoles love. From the little courtyard a
tiny fountain sent in an insinuating sound of trickling waters, to which a
banana plant by the window kept time with its tremulous leaves.
Robbins, an investigator
by nature, sent a curious glance roving about the room. From some barbaric
ancestor, madame had inherited a penchant for the crude in
decoration.
The walls were adorned
with cheap lithographs—florid libels upon nature, addressed to the taste of
the bourgeoisie—birthday cards, garish newspaper supplements, and
specimens of art-advertising calculated to reduce the optic nerve to stunned
submission. A patch of something unintelligible in the midst of the more candid
display puzzled Robbins, and he rose and took a step nearer, to interrogate it
at closer range. Then he leaned weakly against the wall, and called out:
"Madame Tibault!
Oh, madame! Since when—oh! since when have you been in the habit of papering
your walls with five thousand dollar United States four per cent. gold bonds?
Tell me—is this a Grimm's fairy tale, or should I consult an oculist?"
At his words, Madame
Tibault and Dumars approached.
"H'what you say?"
said madame, cheerily. "H'what you say, M'sieur Robbin? Bon! Ah!
those nize li'l peezes papier! One tam I think those w'at you call calendair,
wiz ze li'l day of mont' below. But, no. Those wall is broke in those plaze,
M'sieur Robbin', and I plaze those li'l peezes papier to conceal ze crack. I
did think the couleur harm'nize so well with the wall papier. Where I get them
from? Ah, yes, I remem' ver' well. One day M'sieur Morin, he come at my
houze—thass 'bout one mont' before he shall die—thass 'long 'bout tam he
promise fo' inves' those money fo' me. M'sieur Morin, he leave thoze li'l
peezes papier in those table, and say ver' much 'bout money thass hard for me
to ond'stan. Mais I never see those money again. Thass ver'
wicked man, M'sieur Morin. H'what you call those peezes papier, M'sieur
Robbin'—bon!"
Robbins explained.
"There's your
twenty thousand dollars, with coupons attached," he said, running his
thumb around the edge of the four bonds. "Better get an expert to peel
them off for you. Mister Morin was all right. I'm going out to get my ears
trimmed."
He dragged Dumars by the
arm into the outer room. Madame was screaming for Nicolette and Mémé to come
and observe the fortune returned to her by M'sieur Morin, that best of men,
that saint in glory.
"Marsy," said
Robbins, "I'm going on a jamboree. For three days the esteemed Pic. will
have to get along without my valuable services. I advise you to join me. Now,
that green stuff you drink is no good. It stimulates thought. What we want to
do is to forget to remember. I'll introduce you to the only lady in this case
that is guaranteed to produce the desired results. Her name is Belle of
Kentucky, twelve-year-old Bourbon. In quarts. How does the idea strike
you?"
"Allons!"
said Dumars. "Cherchez la femme."
XII.FRIENDS IN SAN ROSARIO
The west-bound train
stopped at San Rosario on time at 8.20 a.m. A
man with a thick black-leather wallet under his arm left the train and walked
rapidly up the main street of the town. There were other passengers who also
got off at San Rosario, but they either slouched limberly over to the railroad
eating-house or the Silver Dollar saloon, or joined the groups of idlers about
the station.
Indecision had no part
in the movements of the man with the wallet. He was short in stature, but
strongly built, with very light, closely-trimmed hair, smooth, determined face,
and aggressive, gold-rimmed nose glasses. He was well dressed in the prevailing
Eastern style. His air denoted a quiet but conscious reserve force, if not
actual authority.
After walking a distance
of three squares he came to the centre of the town's business area. Here
another street of importance crossed the main one, forming the hub of San
Rosario's life and commerce. Upon one corner stood the post-office. Upon another
Rubensky's Clothing Emporium. The other two diagonally opposing corners were
occupied by the town's two banks, the First National and the Stockmen's
National. Into the First National Bank of San Rosario the newcomer walked,
never slowing his brisk step until he stood at the cashier's window. The bank
opened for business at nine, and the working force was already assembled, each
member preparing his department for the day's business. The cashier was
examining the mail when he noticed the stranger standing at his window.
"Bank doesn't open
'til nine," he remarked curtly, but without feeling. He had had to make
that statement so often to early birds since San Rosario adopted city banking
hours.
"I am well aware of
that," said the other man, in cool, brittle tones. "Will you kindly
receive my card?"
|
The cashier drew the
small, spotless parallelogram inside the bars of his wicket, and read: |
"Oh—er—will you
walk around inside, Mr.—er—Nettlewick. Your first visit—didn't know your
business, of course. Walk right around, please."
The examiner was quickly
inside the sacred precincts of the bank, where he was ponderously introduced to
each employee in turn by Mr. Edlinger, the cashier—a middle-aged gentleman of
deliberation, discretion, and method.
"I was kind of
expecting Sam Turner round again, pretty soon," said Mr. Edlinger.
"Sam's been examining us now, for about four years. I guess you'll find us
all right, though, considering the tightness in business. Not overly much money
on hand, but able to stand the storms, sir, stand the storms."
"Mr. Turner and I
have been ordered by the Comptroller to exchange districts," said the
examiner, in his decisive, formal tones. "He is covering my old territory
in Southern Illinois and Indiana. I will take the cash first, please."
Perry Dorsey, the
teller, was already arranging his cash on the counter for the examiner's
inspection. He knew it was right to a cent, and he had nothing to fear, but he
was nervous and flustered. So was every man in the bank. There was something so
icy and swift, so impersonal and uncompromising about this man that his very
presence seemed an accusation. He looked to be a man who would never make nor
overlook an error.
Mr. Nettlewick first
seized the currency, and with a rapid, almost juggling motion, counted it by
packages. Then he spun the sponge cup toward him and verified the count by
bills. His thin, white fingers flew like some expert musician's upon the keys
of a piano. He dumped the gold upon the counter with a crash, and the coins
whined and sang as they skimmed across the marble slab from the tips of his
nimble digits. The air was full of fractional currency when he came to the
halves and quarters. He counted the last nickle and dime. He had the scales
brought, and he weighed every sack of silver in the vault. He questioned Dorsey
concerning each of the cash memoranda—certain checks, charge slips, etc.,
carried over from the previous day's work—with unimpeachable courtesy, yet with
something so mysteriously momentous in his frigid manner, that the teller was
reduced to pink cheeks and a stammering tongue.
This newly-imported
examiner was so different from Sam Turner. It had been Sam's way to enter the
bank with a shout, pass the cigars, and tell the latest stories he had picked
up on his rounds. His customary greeting to Dorsey had been, "Hello,
Perry! Haven't skipped out with the boodle yet, I see." Turner's way of
counting the cash had been different, too. He would finger the packages of
bills in a tired kind of way, and then go into the vault and kick over a few
sacks of silver, and the thing was done. Halves and quarters and dimes? Not for
Sam Turner. "No chicken feed for me," he would say when they were set
before him. "I'm not in the agricultural department." But, then,
Turner was a Texan, an old friend of the bank's president, and had known Dorsey
since he was a baby.
While the examiner was
counting the cash, Major Thomas B. Kingman—known to every one as "Major
Tom"—the president of the First National, drove up to the side door with
his old dun horse and buggy, and came inside. He saw the examiner busy with the
money, and, going into the little "pony corral," as he called it, in
which his desk was railed off, he began to look over his letters.
Earlier, a little
incident had occurred that even the sharp eyes of the examiner had failed to
notice. When he had begun his work at the cash counter, Mr. Edlinger had winked
significantly at Roy Wilson, the youthful bank messenger, and nodded his head slightly
toward the front door. Roy understood, got his hat, and walked leisurely out,
with his collector's book under his arm. Once outside, he made a bee-line for
the Stockmen's National. That bank was also getting ready to open. No customers
had, as yet, presented themselves.
"Say, you
people!" cried Roy, with the familiarity of youth and long acquaintance,
"you want to get a move on you. There's a new bank examiner over at the
First, and he's a stem-winder. He's counting nickles on Perry, and he's got the
whole outfit bluffed. Mr. Edlinger gave me the tip to let you know."
Mr. Buckley, president
of the Stockmen's National—a stout, elderly man, looking like a farmer dressed
for Sunday—heard Roy from his private office at the rear and called him.
"Has Major Kingman
come down to the bank yet?" he asked of the boy.
"Yes, sir, he was
just driving up as I left," said Roy.
"I want you to take
him a note. Put it into his own hands as soon as you get back."
Mr. Buckley sat down and
began to write.
Roy returned and handed
to Major Kingman the envelope containing the note. The major read it, folded
it, and slipped it into his vest pocket. He leaned back in his chair for a few
moments as if he were meditating deeply, and then rose and went into the vault.
He came out with the bulky, old-fashioned leather note case stamped on the back
in gilt letters, "Bills Discounted." In this were the notes due the
bank with their attached securities, and the major, in his rough way, dumped
the lot upon his desk and began to sort them over.
By this time Nettlewick
had finished his count of the cash. His pencil fluttered like a swallow over
the sheet of paper on which he had set his figures. He opened his black wallet,
which seemed to be also a kind of secret memorandum book, made a few rapid
figures in it, wheeled and transfixed Dorsey with the glare of his spectacles.
That look seemed to say: "You're safe this time, but—"
"Cash all
correct," snapped the examiner. He made a dash for the individual
bookkeeper, and, for a few minutes there was a fluttering of ledger leaves and
a sailing of balance sheets through the air.
"How often do you
balance your pass-books?" he demanded, suddenly.
"Er—once a
month," faltered the individual bookkeeper, wondering how many years they
would give him.
"All right,"
said the examiner, turning and charging upon the general bookkeeper, who had
the statements of his foreign banks and their reconcilement memoranda ready.
Everything there was found to be all right. Then the stub book of the
certificates of deposit. Flutter—flutter—zip—zip—check! All right. List of
over-drafts, please. Thanks. H'm-m. Unsigned bills of the bank, next. All
right.
Then came the cashier's
turn, and easy-going Mr. Edlinger rubbed his nose and polished his glasses
nervously under the quick fire of questions concerning the circulation,
undivided profits, bank real estate, and stock ownership.
Presently Nettlewick was
aware of a big man towering above him at his elbow—a man sixty years of age,
rugged and hale, with a rough, grizzled beard, a mass of gray hair, and a pair
of penetrating blue eyes that confronted the formidable glasses of the examiner
without a flicker.
"Er—Major Kingman,
our president—er—Mr. Nettlewick," said the cashier.
Two men of very
different types shook hands. One was a finished product of the world of
straight lines, conventional methods, and formal affairs. The other was
something freer, wider, and nearer to nature. Tom Kingman had not been cut to
any pattern. He had been mule-driver, cowboy, ranger, soldier, sheriff, prospector,
and cattleman. Now, when he was bank president, his old comrades from the
prairies, of the saddle, tent, and trail found no change in him. He had made
his fortune when Texas cattle were at the high tide of value, and had organized
the First National Bank of San Rosario. In spite of his largeness of heart and
sometimes unwise generosity toward his old friends, the bank had prospered, for
Major Tom Kingman knew men as well as he knew cattle. Of late years the cattle
business had known a depression, and the major's bank was one of the few whose
losses had not been great.
"And now,"
said the examiner, briskly, pulling out his watch, "the last thing is the
loans. We will take them up now, if you please."
He had gone through the
First National at almost record-breaking speed—but thoroughly, as he did
everything. The running order of the bank was smooth and clean, and that had
facilitated his work. There was but one other bank in the town. He received
from the Government a fee of twenty-five dollars for each bank that he
examined. He should be able to go over those loans and discounts in half an
hour. If so, he could examine the other bank immediately afterward, and catch
the 11.45, the only other train that day in the direction he was working.
Otherwise, he would have to spend the night and Sunday in this uninteresting
Western town. That was why Mr. Nettlewick was rushing matters.
"Come with me,
sir," said Major Kingman, in his deep voice, that united the Southern
drawl with the rhythmic twang of the West; "We will go over them together.
Nobody in the bank knows those notes as I do. Some of 'em are a little wobbly
on their legs, and some are mavericks without extra many brands on their backs,
but they'll most all pay out at the round-up."
The two sat down at the
president's desk. First, the examiner went through the notes at lightning
speed, and added up their total, finding it to agree with the amount of loans
carried on the book of daily balances. Next, he took up the larger loans,
inquiring scrupulously into the condition of their endorsers or securities. The
new examiner's mind seemed to course and turn and make unexpected dashes hither
and thither like a bloodhound seeking a trail. Finally he pushed aside all the
notes except a few, which he arranged in a neat pile before him, and began a
dry, formal little speech.
"I find, sir, the
condition of your bank to be very good, considering the poor crops and the
depression in the cattle interests of your state. The clerical work seems to be
done accurately and punctually. Your past-due paper is moderate in amount, and
promises only a small loss. I would recommend the calling in of your large
loans, and the making of only sixty and ninety day or call loans until general
business revives. And now, there is one thing more, and I will have finished
with the bank. Here are six notes aggregating something like $40,000. They are
secured, according to their faces, by various stocks, bonds, shares, etc. to
the value of $70,000. Those securities are missing from the notes to which they
should be attached. I suppose you have them in the safe or vault. You will
permit me to examine them."
Major Tom's light-blue
eyes turned unflinchingly toward the examiner.
"No, sir," he
said, in a low but steady tone; "those securities are neither in the safe
nor in the vault. I have taken them. You may hold me personally responsible for
their absence."
Nettlewick felt a slight
thrill. He had not expected this. He had struck a momentous trail when the hunt
was drawing to a close.
"Ah!" said the
examiner. He waited a moment, and then continued: "May I ask you to
explain more definitely?"
"The securities
were taken by me," repeated the major. "It was not for my own use,
but to save an old friend in trouble. Come in here, sir, and we'll talk it over."
He led the examiner into
the bank's private office at the rear, and closed the door. There was a desk,
and a table, and half-a-dozen leather-covered chairs. On the wall was the
mounted head of a Texas steer with horns five feet from tip to tip. Opposite
hung the major's old cavalry saber that he had carried at Shiloh and Fort
Pillow.
Placing a chair for
Nettlewick, the major seated himself by the window, from which he could see the
post-office and the carved limestone front of the Stockmen's National. He did
not speak at once, and Nettlewick felt, perhaps, that the ice could be broken
by something so near its own temperature as the voice of official warning.
"Your
statement," he began, "since you have failed to modify it, amounts,
as you must know, to a very serious thing. You are aware, also, of what my duty
must compel me to do. I shall have to go before the United States Commissioner
and make—"
"I know, I
know," said Major Tom, with a wave of his hand. "You don't suppose
I'd run a bank without being posted on national banking laws and the revised
statutes! Do your duty. I'm not asking any favours. But, I spoke of my friend.
I did want you to hear me tell you about Bob."
Nettlewick settled
himself in his chair. There would be no leaving San Rosario for him that day.
He would have to telegraph to the Comptroller of the Currency; he would have to
swear out a warrant before the United States Commissioner for the arrest of
Major Kingman; perhaps he would be ordered to close the bank on account of the
loss of the securities. It was not the first crime the examiner had unearthed.
Once or twice the terrible upheaval of human emotions that his investigations
had loosed had almost caused a ripple in his official calm. He had seen bank
men kneel and plead and cry like women for a chance—an hour's time—the
overlooking of a single error. One cashier had shot himself at his desk before
him. None of them had taken it with the dignity and coolness of this stern old
Westerner. Nettlewick felt that he owed it to him at least to listen if he
wished to talk. With his elbow on the arm of his chair, and his square chin
resting upon the fingers of his right hand, the bank examiner waited to hear
the confession of the president of the First National Bank of San Rosario.
"When a man's your
friend," began Major Tom, somewhat didactically, "for forty years,
and tried by water, fire, earth, and cyclones, when you can do him a little
favour you feel like doing it."
("Embezzle for him
$70,000 worth of securities," thought the examiner.)
"We were cowboys
together, Bob and I," continued the major, speaking slowly, and
deliberately, and musingly, as if his thoughts were rather with the past than
the critical present, "and we prospected together for gold and silver over
Arizona, New Mexico, and a good part of California. We were both in the war of
'sixty-one, but in different commands. We've fought Indians and horse thieves
side by side; we've starved for weeks in a cabin in the Arizona mountains,
buried twenty feet deep in snow; we've ridden herd together when the wind blew
so hard the lightning couldn't strike—well, Bob and I have been through some
rough spells since the first time we met in the branding camp of the old
Anchor-Bar ranch. And during that time we've found it necessary more than once
to help each other out of tight places. In those days it was expected of a man
to stick to his friend, and he didn't ask any credit for it. Probably next day
you'd need him to get at your back and help stand off a band of Apaches, or put
a tourniquet on your leg above a rattlesnake bite and ride for whisky. So,
after all, it was give and take, and if you didn't stand square with your
pardner, why, you might be shy one when you needed him. But Bob was a man who
was willing to go further than that. He never played a limit.
"Twenty years ago I
was sheriff of this county, and I made Bob my chief deputy. That was before the
boom in cattle when we both made our stake. I was sheriff and collector, and it
was a big thing for me then. I was married, and we had a boy and a girl—a four
and a six year old. There was a comfortable house next to the courthouse,
furnished by the county, rent free, and I was saving some money. Bob did most
of the office work. Both of us had seen rough times and plenty of rustling and
danger, and I tell you it was great to hear the rain and the sleet dashing
against the windows of nights, and be warm and safe and comfortable, and know
you could get up in the morning and be shaved and have folks call you 'mister.'
And then, I had the finest wife and kids that ever struck the range, and my old
friend with me enjoying the first fruits of prosperity and white shirts, and I
guess I was happy. Yes, I was happy about that time."
The major sighed and
glanced casually out of the window. The bank examiner changed his position, and
leaned his chin upon his other hand.
"One winter,"
continued the major, "the money for the county taxes came pouring in so
fast that I didn't have time to take the stuff to the bank for a week. I just
shoved the checks into a cigar box and the money into a sack, and locked them
in the big safe that belonged to the sheriff's office.
"I had been
overworked that week, and was about sick, anyway. My nerves were out of order,
and my sleep at night didn't seem to rest me. The doctor had some scientific
name for it, and I was taking medicine. And so, added to the rest, I went to
bed at night with that money on my mind. Not that there was much need of being
worried, for the safe was a good one, and nobody but Bob and I knew the combination.
On Friday night there was about $6,500 in cash in the bag. On Saturday morning
I went to the office as usual. The safe was locked, and Bob was writing at his
desk. I opened the safe, and the money was gone. I called Bob, and roused
everybody in the court-house to announce the robbery. It struck me that Bob
took it pretty quiet, considering how much it reflected upon both him and me.
"Two days went by
and we never got a clew. It couldn't have been burglars, for the safe had been
opened by the combination in the proper way. People must have begun to talk,
for one afternoon in comes Alice—that's my wife—and the boy and girl, and Alice
stamps her foot, and her eyes flash, and she cries out, 'The lying
wretches—Tom, Tom!' and I catch her in a faint, and bring her 'round little by
little, and she lays her head down and cries and cries for the first time since
she took Tom Kingman's name and fortunes. And Jack and Zilla—the
youngsters—they were always wild as tiger cubs to rush at Bob and climb all over
him whenever they were allowed to come to the court-house—they stood and kicked
their little shoes, and herded together like scared partridges. They were
having their first trip down into the shadows of life. Bob was working at his
desk, and he got up and went out without a word. The grand jury was in session
then, and the next morning Bob went before them and confessed that he stole the
money. He said he lost it in a poker game. In fifteen minutes they had found a
true bill and sent me the warrant to arrest the man with whom I'd been closer
than a thousand brothers for many a year.
"I did it, and then
I said to Bob, pointing: 'There's my house, and here's my office, and up
there's Maine, and out that way is California, and over there is Florida—and
that's your range 'til court meets. You're in my charge, and I take the
responsibility. You be here when you're wanted.'
"'Thanks, Tom,' he
said, kind of carelessly; 'I was sort of hoping you wouldn't lock me up. Court
meets next Monday, so, if you don't object, I'll just loaf around the office
until then. I've got one favour to ask, if it isn't too much. If you'd let the
kids come out in the yard once in a while and have a romp I'd like it.'
"'Why not?' I
answered him. 'They're welcome, and so are you. And come to my house, the same
as ever.' You see, Mr. Nettlewick, you can't make a friend of a thief, but
neither can you make a thief of a friend, all at once."
The examiner made no
answer. At that moment was heard the shrill whistle of a locomotive pulling
into the depot. That was the train on the little, narrow-gauge road that struck
into San Rosario from the south. The major cocked his ear and listened for a
moment, and looked at his watch. The narrow-gauge was in on time—10.35. The
major continued:
"So Bob hung around
the office, reading the papers and smoking. I put another deputy to work in his
place, and after a while, the first excitement of the case wore off.
"One day when we
were alone in the office Bob came over to where I was sitting. He was looking
sort of grim and blue—the same look he used to get when he'd been up watching
for Indians all night or herd-riding.
"'Tom,' says he,
'it's harder than standing off redskins; it's harder than lying in the lava
desert forty miles from water; but I'm going to stick it out to the end. You
know that's been my style. But if you'd tip me the smallest kind of a sign—if
you'd just say, "Bob I understand," why, it would make it lots
easier.'
"I was surprised.
'I don't know what you mean, Bob,' I said. 'Of course, you know that I'd do
anything under the sun to help you that I could. But you've got me guessing.'
"'All right, Tom,'
was all he said, and he went back to his newspaper and lit another cigar.
"It was the night
before court met when I found out what he meant. I went to bed that night with
that same old, light-headed, nervous feeling come back upon me. I dropped off
to sleep about midnight. When I awoke I was standing half dressed in one of the
court-house corridors. Bob was holding one of my arms, our family doctor the
other, and Alice was shaking me and half crying. She had sent for the doctor
without my knowing it, and when he came they had found me out of bed and
missing, and had begun a search.
"'Sleep-walking,'
said the doctor.
"All of us went
back to the house, and the doctor told us some remarkable stories about the
strange things people had done while in that condition. I was feeling rather
chilly after my trip out, and, as my wife was out of the room at the time, I
pulled open the door of an old wardrobe that stood in the room and dragged out
a big quilt I had seen in there. With it tumbled out the bag of money for
stealing which Bob was to be tried—and convicted—in the morning.
"'How the jumping
rattlesnakes did that get there?' I yelled, and all hands must have seen how
surprised I was. Bob knew in a flash.
"'You darned old
snoozer,' he said, with the old-time look on his face, 'I saw you put it there.
I watched you open the safe and take it out, and I followed you. I looked
through the window and saw you hide it in that wardrobe.'
"'Then, you
blankety-blank, flop-eared, sheep-headed coyote, what did you say you took it,
for?'
"'Because,' said
Bob, simply, 'I didn't know you were asleep.'
"I saw him glance
toward the door of the room where Jack and Zilla were, and I knew then what it
meant to be a man's friend from Bob's point of view."
Major Tom paused, and
again directed his glance out of the window. He saw some one in the Stockmen's
National Bank reach and draw a yellow shade down the whole length of its plate-glass,
big front window, although the position of the sun did not seem to warrant such
a defensive movement against its rays.
Nettlewick sat up
straight in his chair. He had listened patiently, but without consuming
interest, to the major's story. It had impressed him as irrelevant to the
situation, and it could certainly have no effect upon the consequences. Those
Western people, he thought, had an exaggerated sentimentality. They were not
business-like. They needed to be protected from their friends. Evidently the
major had concluded. And what he had said amounted to nothing.
"May I ask,"
said the examiner, "if you have anything further to say that bears
directly upon the question of those abstracted securities?"
"Abstracted
securities, sir!" Major Tom turned suddenly in his chair, his blue eyes
flashing upon the examiner. "What do you mean, sir?"
He drew from his coat
pocket a batch of folded papers held together by a rubber band, tossed them
into Nettlewick's hands, and rose to his feet.
"You'll find those
securities there, sir, every stock, bond, and share of 'em. I took them from
the notes while you were counting the cash. Examine and compare them for
yourself."
The major led the way
back into the banking room. The examiner, astounded, perplexed, nettled, at
sea, followed. He felt that he had been made the victim of something that was
not exactly a hoax, but that left him in the shoes of one who had been played
upon, used, and then discarded, without even an inkling of the game. Perhaps,
also, his official position had been irreverently juggled with. But there was
nothing he could take hold of. An official report of the matter would be an
absurdity. And, somehow, he felt that he would never know anything more about
the matter than he did then.
Frigidly, mechanically,
Nettlewick examined the securities, found them to tally with the notes,
gathered his black wallet, and rose to depart.
"I will say,"
he protested, turning the indignant glare of his glasses upon Major Kingman,
"that your statements—your misleading statements, which you have not
condescended to explain—do not appear to be quite the thing, regarded either as
business or humour. I do not understand such motives or actions."
Major Tom looked down at
him serenely and not unkindly.
"Son," he
said, "there are plenty of things in the chaparral, and on the prairies,
and up the canyons that you don't understand. But I want to thank you for
listening to a garrulous old man's prosy story. We old Texans love to talk
about our adventures and our old comrades, and the home folks have long ago
learned to run when we begin with 'Once upon a time,' so we have to spin our
yarns to the stranger within our gates."
The major smiled, but
the examiner only bowed coldly, and abruptly quitted the bank. They saw him
travel diagonally across the street in a straight line and enter the Stockmen's
National Bank.
Major Tom sat down at
his desk, and drew from his vest pocket the note Roy had given him. He had read
it once, but hurriedly, and now, with something like a twinkle in his eyes, he
read it again. These were the words he read:
Dear
Tom:
I hear there's one of
Uncle Sam's grayhounds going through you, and that means that we'll catch him
inside of a couple of hours, maybe. Now, I want you to do something for me.
We've got just $2,200 in the bank, and the law requires that we have $20,000. I
let Ross and Fisher have $18,000 late yesterday afternoon to buy up that Gibson
bunch of cattle. They'll realise $40,000 in less than thirty days on the
transaction, but that won't make my cash on hand look any prettier to that bank
examiner. Now, I can't show him those notes, for they're just plain notes of
hand without any security in sight, but you know very well that Pink Ross and
Jim Fisher are two of the finest white men God ever made, and they'll do the
square thing. You remember Jim Fisher—he was the one who shot that faro dealer
in El Paso. I wired Sam Bradshaw's bank to send me $20,000, and it will get in
on the narrow-gauge at 10.35. You can't let a bank examiner in to count $2,200
and close your doors. Tom, you hold that examiner. Hold him. Hold him if you
have to rope him and sit on his head. Watch our front window after the
narrow-gauge gets in, and when we've got the cash inside we'll pull down the
shade for a signal. Don't turn him loose till then. I'm counting on you, Tom.
Your Old Pard,
Bob Buckly,
Prest. Stockmen's National.
The major began to tear
the note into small pieces and throw them into his waste basket. He gave a
satisfied little chuckle as he did so.
"Confounded old
reckless cowpuncher!" he growled, contentedly, "that pays him some on
account for what he tried to do for me in the sheriff's office twenty years
ago."
XIII.THE FOURTH IN SALVADOR
On a summer's day, while
the city was rocking with the din and red uproar of patriotism, Billy Casparis
told me this story.
In his way, Billy is
Ulysses, Jr. Like Satan, he comes from going to and fro upon the earth and
walking up and down in it. To-morrow morning while you are cracking your
breakfast egg he may be off with his little alligator grip to boom a town site
in the middle of Lake Okeechobee or to trade horses with the Patagonians.
We sat at a little,
round table, and between us were glasses holding big lumps of ice, and above us
leaned an artificial palm. And because our scene was set with the properties of
the one they recalled to his mind, Billy was stirred to narrative.
"It reminds
me," said he, "of a Fourth I helped to celebrate down in Salvador.
'Twas while I was running an ice factory down there, after I unloaded that
silver mine I had in Colorado. I had what they called a 'conditional
concession.' They made me put up a thousand dollars cash forfeit that I would
make ice continuously for six months. If I did that I could draw down my ante.
If I failed to do so the government took the pot. So the inspectors kept
dropping in, trying to catch me without the goods.
"One day when the
thermometer was at 110, the clock at half-past one, and the calendar at July
third, two of the little, brown, oily nosers in red trousers slid in to make an
inspection. Now, the factory hadn't turned out a pound of ice in three weeks,
for a couple of reasons. The Salvador heathen wouldn't buy it; they said it
made things cold they put it in. And I couldn't make any more, because I was
broke. All I was holding on for was to get down my thousand so I could leave
the country. The six months would be up on the sixth of July.
"Well, I showed 'em
all the ice I had. I raised the lid of a darkish vat, and there was an elegant
100-pound block of ice, beautiful and convincing to the eye. I was about to
close down the lid again when one of those brunette sleuths flops down on his
red knees and lays a slanderous and violent hand on my guarantee of good faith.
And in two minutes more they had dragged out on the floor that fine chunk of
molded glass that had cost me fifty dollars to have shipped down from Frisco.
"'Ice-y?' says the
fellow that played me the dishonourable trick; 'verree warm ice-y. Yes. The day
is that hot, señor. Yes. Maybeso it is of desirableness to leave him out to get
the cool. Yes.'
"'Yes,' says I,
'yes,' for I knew they had me. 'Touching's believing, ain't it, boys? Yes. Now
there's some might say the seats of your trousers are sky blue, but 'tis my
opinion they are red. Let's apply the tests of the laying on of hands and
feet.' And so I hoisted both those inspectors out the door on the toe of my
shoe, and sat down to cool off on my block of disreputable glass.
"And, as I live
without oats, while I sat there, homesick for money and without a cent to my
ambition, there came on the breeze the most beautiful smell my nose had entered
for a year. God knows where it came from in that backyard of a country—it was a
bouquet of soaked lemon peel, cigar stumps, and stale beer—exactly the smell of
Goldbrick Charley's place on Fourteenth Street where I used to play pinochle of
afternoons with the third-rate actors. And that smell drove my troubles through
me and clinched 'em at the back. I began to long for my country and feel
sentiments about it; and I said words about Salvador that you wouldn't think
could come legitimate out of an ice factory.
"And while I was
sitting there, down through the blazing sunshine in his clean, white clothes
comes Maximilian Jones, an American interested in rubber and rosewood.
"'Great carrambos!'
says I, when he stepped in, for I was in a bad temper, 'didn't I have
catastrophes enough? I know what you want. You want to tell me that story again
about Johnny Ammiger and the widow on the train. You've told it nine times
already this month.'
"'It must be the
heat,' says Jones, stopping in at the door, amazed. 'Poor Billy. He's got bugs.
Sitting on ice, and calling his best friends pseudonyms. Hi!—muchacho!'
Jones called my force of employees, who was sitting in the sun, playing with
his toes, and told him to put on his trousers and run for the doctor.
"'Come back,' says
I. 'Sit down, Maxy, and forget it. 'Tis not ice you see, nor a lunatic upon it.
'Tis only an exile full of homesickness sitting on a lump of glass that's just
cost him a thousand dollars. Now, what was it Johnny said to the widow first?
I'd like to hear it again, Maxy—honest. Don't mind what I said.'
"Maximilian Jones
and I sat down and talked. He was about as sick of the country as I was, for
the grafters were squeezing him for half the profits of his rosewood and
rubber. Down in the bottom of a tank of water I had a dozen bottles of sticky
Frisco beer; and I fished these up, and we fell to talking about home and the
flag and Hail Columbia and home-fried potatoes; and the drivel we contributed
would have sickened any man enjoying those blessings. But at that time we were
out of 'em. You can't appreciate home till you've left it, money till it's
spent, your wife till she's joined a woman's club, nor Old Glory till you see
it hanging on a broomstick on the shanty of a consul in a foreign town.
"And sitting there
me and Maximilian Jones, scratching at our prickly heat and kicking at the
lizards on the floor, became afflicted with a dose of patriotism and affection
for our country. There was me, Billy Casparis, reduced from a capitalist to a
pauper by over-addiction to my glass (in the lump), declares my troubles off
for the present and myself to be an uncrowned sovereign of the greatest country
on earth. And Maximilian Jones pours out whole drug stores of his wrath on
oligarchies and potentates in red trousers and calico shoes. And we issues a
declaration of interference in which we guarantee that the fourth day of July
shall be celebrated in Salvador with all the kinds of salutes, explosions,
honours of war, oratory, and liquids known to tradition. Yes, neither me nor
Jones breathed with soul so dead. There shall be rucuses in Salvador, we say,
and the monkeys had better climb the tallest cocoanut trees and the fire
department get out its red sashes and two tin buckets.
"About this time
into the factory steps a native man incriminated by the name of General Mary
Esperanza Dingo. He was some pumpkin both in politics and colour, and the
friend of me and Jones. He was full of politeness and a kind of intelligence,
having picked up the latter and managed to preserve the former during a two
years' residence in Philadelphia studying medicine. For a Salvadorian he was
not such a calamitous little man, though he always would play jack, queen,
king, ace, deuce for a straight.
"General Mary sits
with us and has a bottle. While he was in the States he had acquired a synopsis
of the English language and the art of admiring our institutions. By and by the
General gets up and tiptoes to the doors and windows and other stage entrances,
remarking 'Hist!' at each one. They all do that in Salvador before they ask for
a drink of water or the time of day, being conspirators from the cradle and
matinee idols by proclamation.
"'Hist!' says
General Dingo again, and then he lays his chest on the table quite like Gaspard
the Miser. 'Good friends, señores, to-morrow will be the great day of Liberty
and Independence. The hearts of Americans and Salvadorians should beat
together. Of your history and your great Washington I know. Is it not so?'
"Now, me and Jones
thought that nice of the General to remember when the Fourth came. It made us
feel good. He must have heard the news going round in Philadelphia about that
disturbance we had with England.
"'Yes,' says me and
Maxy together, 'we knew it. We were talking about it when you came in. And you
can bet your bottom concession that there'll be fuss and feathers in the air
to-morrow. We are few in numbers, but the welkin may as well reach out to push
the button, for it's got to ring.'
"'I, too, shall
assist,' says the General, thumping his collar-bone. 'I, too, am on the side of
Liberty. Noble Americans, we will make the day one to be never forgotten.'
"'For us American
whisky,' says Jones—'none of your Scotch smoke or anisada or Three Star
Hennessey to-morrow. We'll borrow the consul's flag; old man Billfinger shall
make orations, and we'll have a barbecue on the plaza.'
"'Fireworks,' says
I, 'will be scarce; but we'll have all the cartridges in the shops for our
guns. I've got two navy sixes I brought from Denver.'
"'There is one
cannon,' said the General; 'one big cannon that will go "BOOM!" And
three hundred men with rifles to shoot.'
"'Oh, say!' says
Jones, 'Generalissimo, you're the real silk elastic. We'll make it a joint
international celebration. Please, General, get a white horse and a blue sash
and be grand marshal.'
"'With my sword,'
says the General, rolling his eyes. 'I shall ride at the head of the brave men
who gather in the name of Liberty.'
"'And you might,'
we suggest 'see the commandante and advise him that we are going to prize
things up a bit. We Americans, you know, are accustomed to using municipal
regulations for gun wadding when we line up to help the eagle scream. He might suspend
the rules for one day. We don't want to get in the calaboose for spanking his
soldiers if they get in our way, do you see?'
"'Hist!' says
General Mary. 'The commandant is with us, heart and soul. He will aid us. He is
one of us.'
"We made all the arrangements
that afternoon. There was a buck coon from Georgia in Salvador who had drifted
down there from a busted-up coloured colony that had been started on some
possumless land in Mexico. As soon as he heard us say 'barbecue' he wept for
joy and groveled on the ground. He dug his trench on the plaza, and got half a
beef on the coals for an all-night roast. Me and Maxy went to see the rest of
the Americans in the town and they all sizzled like a seidlitz with joy at the
idea of solemnizing an old-time Fourth.
"There were six of
us all together—Martin Dillard, a coffee planter; Henry Barnes, a railroad man;
old man Billfinger, an educated tintype taker; me and Jonesy, and Jerry, the
boss of the barbecue. There was also an Englishman in town named Sterrett, who
was there to write a book on Domestic Architecture of the Insect World. We felt
some bashfulness about inviting a Britisher to help crow over his own country,
but we decided to risk it, out of our personal regard for him.
"We found Sterrett
in pajamas working at his manuscript with a bottle of brandy for a paper
weight.
"'Englishman,' says
Jones, 'let us interrupt your disquisition on bug houses for a moment.
To-morrow is the Fourth of July. We don't want to hurt your feelings, but we're
going to commemorate the day when we licked you by a little refined debauchery
and nonsense—something that can be heard above five miles off. If you are
broad-gauged enough to taste whisky at your own wake, we'd be pleased to have
you join us.'
"'Do you know,'
says Sterrett, setting his glasses on his nose, 'I like your cheek in asking me
if I'll join you; blast me if I don't. You might have known I would, without
asking. Not as a traitor to my own country, but for the intrinsic joy of a
blooming row.'
"On the morning of
the Fourth I woke up in that old shanty of an ice factory feeling sore. I
looked around at the wreck of all I possessed, and my heart was full of bile.
From where I lay on my cot I could look through the window and see the consul's
old ragged Stars and Stripes hanging over his shack. 'You're all kinds of a
fool, Billy Casparis,' I says to myself; 'and of all your crimes against sense
it does look like this idea of celebrating the Fourth should receive the award
of demerit. Your business is busted up, your thousand dollars is gone into the
kitty of this corrupt country on that last bluff you made, you've got just
fifteen Chili dollars left, worth forty-six cents each at bedtime last night
and steadily going down. To-day you'll blow in your last cent hurrahing for
that flag, and to-morrow you'll be living on bananas from the stalk and
screwing your drinks out of your friends. What's the flag done for you? While
you were under it you worked for what you got. You wore your finger nails down
skinning suckers, and salting mines, and driving bears and alligators off your
town lot additions. How much does patriotism count for on deposit when the
little man with the green eye-shade in the savings-bank adds up your book?
Suppose you were to get pinched over here in this irreligious country for some
little crime or other, and appealed to your country for protection—what would
it do for you? Turn your appeal over to a committee of one railroad man, an
army officer, a member of each labour union, and a coloured man to investigate
whether any of your ancestors were ever related to a cousin of Mark Hanna, and
then file the papers in the Smithsonian Institution until after the next
election. That's the kind of a sidetrack the Stars and Stripes would switch you
onto.'
"You can see that I
was feeling like an indigo plant; but after I washed my face in some cool
water, and got out my navys and ammunition, and started up to the Saloon of the
Immaculate Saints where we were to meet, I felt better. And when I saw those
other American boys come swaggering into the trysting place—cool, easy,
conspicuous fellows, ready to risk any kind of a one-card draw, or to fight
grizzlies, fire, or extradition, I began to feel glad I was one of 'em. So, I
says to myself again: 'Billy, you've got fifteen dollars and a country left
this morning—blow in the dollars and blow up the town as an American gentleman
should on Independence Day.'
"It is my
recollection that we began the day along conventional lines. The six of us—for
Sterrett was along—made progress among the cantinas, divesting the bars as we
went of all strong drink bearing American labels. We kept informing the
atmosphere as to the glory and preeminence of the United States and its ability
to subdue, outjump, and eradicate the other nations of the earth. And, as the
findings of American labels grew more plentiful, we became more contaminated
with patriotism. Maximilian Jones hopes that our late foe, Mr. Sterrett, will
not take offense at our enthusiasm. He sets down his bottle and shakes Sterrett's
hand. 'As white man to white man,' says he, 'denude our uproar of the slightest
taint of personality. Excuse us for Bunker Hill, Patrick Henry, and Waldorf
Astor, and such grievances as might lie between us as nations.'
"'Fellow hoodlums,'
says Sterrett, 'on behalf of the Queen I ask you to cheese it. It is an honour
to be a guest at disturbing the peace under the American flag. Let us chant the
passionate strains of "Yankee Doodle" while the señor behind the bar
mitigates the occasion with another round of cochineal and aqua fortis.'
"Old Man
Billfinger, being charged with a kind of rhetoric, makes speeches every time we
stop. We explained to such citizens as we happened to step on that we were
celebrating the dawn of our own private brand of liberty, and to please enter
such inhumanities as we might commit on the list of unavoidable casualties.
"About eleven
o'clock our bulletins read: 'A considerable rise in temperature, accompanied by
thirst and other alarming symptoms.' We hooked arms and stretched our line
across the narrow streets, all of us armed with Winchesters and navys for
purposes of noise and without malice. We stopped on a street corner and fired a
dozen or so rounds, and began a serial assortment of United States whoops and
yells, probably the first ever heard in that town.
"When we made that
noise things began to liven up. We heard a pattering up a side street, and here
came General Mary Esperanza Dingo on a white horse with a couple of hundred
brown boys following him in red undershirts and bare feet, dragging guns ten
feet long. Jones and me had forgot all about General Mary and his promise to
help us celebrate. We fired another salute and gave another yell, while the
General shook hands with us and waved his sword.
"'Oh, General,'
shouts Jones, 'this is great. This will be a real pleasure to the eagle. Get
down and have a drink.'
"'Drink?' says the
general. 'No. There is no time to drink. Viva la Libertad!'
"'Don't
forget E Pluribus Unum!' says Henry Barnes.
"'Viva it
good and strong,' says I. 'Likewise, viva George Washington.
God save the Union, and,' I says, bowing to Sterrett, 'don't discard the
Queen.'
"'Thanks,' says
Sterrett. 'The next round's mine. All in to the bar. Army, too.'
"But we were
deprived of Sterrett's treat by a lot of gunshots several squares sway, which
General Dingo seemed to think he ought to look after. He spurred his old white
plug up that way, and the soldiers scuttled along after him.
"'Mary is a real
tropical bird,' says Jones. 'He's turned out the infantry to help us do honour
to the Fourth. We'll get that cannon he spoke of after a while and fire some
window-breakers with it. But just now I want some of that barbecued beef. Let
us on to the plaza.'
"There we found the
meat gloriously done, and Jerry waiting, anxious. We sat around on the grass,
and got hunks of it on our tin plates. Maximilian Jones, always made
tender-hearted by drink, cried some because George Washington couldn't be there
to enjoy the day. 'There was a man I love, Billy,' he says, weeping on my
shoulder. 'Poor George! To think he's gone, and missed the fireworks. A little
more salt, please, Jerry.'
"From what we could
hear, General Dingo seemed to be kindly contributing some noise while we
feasted. There were guns going off around town, and pretty soon we heard that
cannon go 'BOOM!' just as he said it would. And then men began to skim along
the edge of the plaza, dodging in among the orange trees and houses. We
certainly had things stirred up in Salvador. We felt proud of the occasion and
grateful to General Dingo. Sterrett was about to take a bite off a juicy piece
of rib when a bullet took it away from his mouth.
"'Somebody's
celebrating with ball cartridges,' says he, reaching for another piece. 'Little
over-zealous for a non-resident patriot, isn't it?'
"'Don't mind it,' I
says to him. ''Twas an accident. They happen, you know, on the Fourth. After
one reading of the Declaration of Independence in New York I've known the S. R.
O. sign to be hung out at all the hospitals and police stations.'
"But then Jerry
gives a howl and jumps up with one hand clapped to the back of his leg where
another bullet has acted over-zealous. And then comes a quantity of yells, and
round a corner and across the plaza gallops General Mary Esperanza Dingo embracing
the neck of his horse, with his men running behind him, mostly dropping their
guns by way of discharging ballast. And chasing 'em all is a company of
feverish little warriors wearing blue trousers and caps.
"'Assistance,
amigos,' the General shouts, trying to stop his horse. 'Assistance, in the name
of Liberty!'
"'That's the
Compañia Azul, the President's bodyguard,' says Jones. 'What a shame! They've
jumped on poor old Mary just because he was helping us to celebrate. Come on,
boys, it's our Fourth;—do we let that little squad of A.D.T's break it up?'
"'I vote No,' says
Martin Dillard, gathering his Winchester. 'It's the privilege of an American
citizen to drink, drill, dress up, and be dreadful on the Fourth of July, no
matter whose country he's in.'
"'Fellow citizens!'
says old man Billfinger, 'In the darkest hour of Freedom's birth, when our
brave forefathers promulgated the principles of undying liberty, they never
expected that a bunch of blue jays like that should be allowed to bust up an
anniversary. Let us preserve and protect the Constitution.'
"We made it
unanimous, and then we gathered our guns and assaulted the blue troops in
force. We fired over their heads, and then charged 'em with a yell, and they
broke and ran. We were irritated at having our barbecue disturbed, and we
chased 'em a quarter of a mile. Some of 'em we caught and kicked hard. The
General rallied his troops and joined in the chase. Finally they scattered in a
thick banana grove, and we couldn't flush a single one. So we sat down and
rested.
"If I were to be
put, severe, through the third degree, I wouldn't be able to tell much about
the rest of the day. I mind that we pervaded the town considerable, calling
upon the people to bring out more armies for us to destroy. I remember seeing a
crowd somewhere, and a tall man that wasn't Billfinger making a Fourth of July
speech from a balcony. And that was about all.
"Somebody must have
hauled the old ice factory up to where I was, and put it around me, for there's
where I was when I woke up the next morning. As soon as I could recollect by
name and address I got up and held an inquest. My last cent was gone. I was all
in.
"And then a neat
black carriage drives to the door, and out steps General Dingo and a bay man in
a silk hat and tan shoes.
"'Yes,' says I to
myself, 'I see it now. You're the Chief de Policeos and High Lord Chamberlain
of the Calaboosum; and you want Billy Casparis for excess of patriotism and
assault with intent. All right. Might as well be in jail, anyhow.'
"But it seems that
General Mary is smiling, and the bay man shakes my hand, and speaks in the
American dialect.
"'General Dingo has
informed me, Señor Casparis, of your gallant service in our cause. I desire to
thank you with my person. The bravery of you and the other señores Americanos
turned the struggle for liberty in our favour. Our party triumphed. The
terrible battle will live forever in history.
"'Battle?' says I;
'what battle?' and I ran my mind back along history, trying to think.
"'Señor Casparis is
modest,' says General Dingo. 'He led his brave compadres into the thickest of
the fearful conflict. Yes. Without their aid the revolution would have failed.'
"'Why, now,' says
I, 'don't tell me there was a revolution yesterday. That was only a Fourth of—'
"But right there I
abbreviated. It seemed to me it might be best.
"'After the
terrible struggle,' says the bay man, 'President Bolano was forced to fly.
To-day Caballo is President by proclamation. Ah, yes. Beneath the new
administration I am the head of the Department of Mercantile Concessions. On my
file I find one report, Señor Casparis, that you have not made ice in accord
with your contract.' And here the bay man smiles at me, 'cute.
"'Oh, well,' says
I, 'I guess the report's straight. I know they caught me. That's all there is
to it.'
"'Do not say so,'
says the bay man. He pulls off a glove and goes over and lays his hand on that
chunk of glass.
"'Ice,' says he,
nodding his head, solemn.
"General Dingo also
steps over and feels of it.
"'Ice,' says the
General; 'I'll swear to it.'
"'If Señor
Casparis,' says the bay man, 'will present himself to the treasury on the sixth
day of this month he will receive back the thousand dollars he did deposit as a
forfeit. Adios, señor.'
"The General and
the bay man bowed themselves out, and I bowed as often as they did.
"And when the
carriage rolls away through the sand I bows once more, deeper than ever, till
my hat touches the ground. But this time 'twas not intended for them. For, over
their heads, I saw the old flag fluttering in the breeze above the consul's
roof; and 'twas to it I made my profoundest salute."
XIV.THE EMANCIPATION OF BILLY
In the old, old,
square-porticoed mansion, with the wry window-shutters and the paint peeling
off in discoloured flakes, lived one of the last of the war governors.
The South has forgotten
the enmity of the great conflict, but it refuses to abandon its old traditions
and idols. In "Governor" Pemberton, as he was still fondly called,
the inhabitants of Elmville saw the relic of their state's ancient greatness
and glory. In his day he had been a man large in the eye of his country. His
state had pressed upon him every honour within its gift. And now when he was
old, and enjoying a richly merited repose outside the swift current of public affairs,
his townsmen loved to do him reverence for the sake of the past.
The Governor's decaying
"mansion" stood upon the main street of Elmville within a few feet of
its rickety paling-fence. Every morning the Governor would descend the steps
with extreme care and deliberation—on account of his rheumatism—and then the
click of his gold-headed cane would be heard as he slowly proceeded up the
rugged brick sidewalk. He was now nearly seventy-eight, but he had grown old
gracefully and beautifully. His rather long, smooth hair and flowing, parted
whiskers were snow-white. His full-skirted frock-croak was always buttoned
snugly about his tall, spare figure. He wore a high, well-kept silk hat—known
as a "plug" in Elmville—and nearly always gloves. His manners were
punctilious, and somewhat overcharged with courtesy.
The Governor's walks up
Lee Avenue, the principal street, developed in their course into a sort of
memorial, triumphant procession. Everyone he met saluted him with profound
respect. Many would remove their hats. Those who were honoured with his
personal friendship would pause to shake hands, and then you would see
exemplified the genuine beau ideal Southern courtesy.
Upon reaching the corner
of the second square from the mansion, the Governor would pause. Another street
crossed the venue there, and traffic, to the extent of several farmers' wagons
and a peddler's cart or two, would rage about the junction. Then the falcon eye
of General Deffenbaugh would perceive the situation, and the General would hasten,
with ponderous solicitude, from his office in the First National Bank building
to the assistance of his old friend.
When the two exchanged
greetings the decay of modern manners would become accusingly apparent. The
General's bulky and commanding figure would bend lissomely at a point where you
would have regarded its ability to do so with incredulity. The Governor would
take the General's arm and be piloted safely between the hay-wagons and the
sprinkling-cart to the other side of the street. Proceeding to the post-office
in the care of his friend, the esteemed statesmen would there hold an informal
levee among the citizens who were come for their morning mail. Here, gathering
two or three prominent in law, politics, or family, the pageant would make a
stately progress along the Avenue, stopping at the Palace Hotel, where,
perhaps, would be found upon the register the name of some guest deemed worthy
of an introduction to the state's venerable and illustrious son. If any such
were found, an hour or two would be spent in recalling the faded glories of the
Governor's long-vanished administration.
On the return march the
General would invariably suggest that, His Excellency being no doubt fatigued,
it would be wise to recuperate for a few minutes at the Drug Emporium of Mr.
Appleby R. Fentress (an elegant gentleman, sir—one of the Chatham County
Fentresses—so many of our best-blooded families have had to go into trade, sir,
since the war).
Mr. Appleby R. Fentress
was a connoisseur in fatigue. Indeed, if he had not been, his
memory alone should have enabled him to prescribe, for the majestic invasion of
his pharmacy was a casual happening that had surprised him almost daily for
years. Mr. Fentress knew the formula of, and possessed the skill to compound, a
certain potion antagonistic to fatigue, the salient ingredient of which he
described (no doubt in pharmaceutical terms) as "genuine old hand-made
Clover Leaf '59, Private Stock."
Nor did the ceremony of
administering the potion ever vary. Mr. Fentress would first compound two of
the celebrated mixtures—one for the Governor, and the other for the General to
"sample." Then the Governor would make this little speech in his
high, piping, quavering voice:
"No, sir—not one
drop until you have prepared one for yourself and join us, Mr. Fentress. Your
father, sir, was one of my most valued supporters and friends during My
Administration, and any mark of esteem I can confer upon his son is not only a
pleasure but a duty, sir."
Blushing with delight at
the royal condescension, the druggist would obey, and all would drink to the
General's toast: "The prosperity of our grand old state, gentlemen—the
memory of her glorious past—the health of her Favourite Son."
Some one of the Old
Guard was always at hand to escort the Governor home. Sometimes the General's
business duties denied him the privilege, and then Judge Broomfield or Colonel
Titus, or one of the Ashford County Slaughters would be on hand to perform the
rite.
Such were the
observances attendant upon the Governor's morning stroll to the post-office.
How much more magnificent, impressive, and spectacular, then, was the scene at
public functions when the General would lead forth the silver-haired relic of
former greatness, like some rare and fragile waxwork figure, and trumpet his
pristine eminence to his fellow citizens!
General Deffenbaugh was
the Voice of Elmville. Some said he was Elmville. At any rate, he had no
competitor as the Mouthpiece. He owned enough stock in the Daily Banner to
dictate its utterance, enough shares in the First National Bank to be the
referee of its loans, and a war record that left him without a rival for first
place at barbecues, school commencements, and Decoration Days. Besides these
acquirements he was possessed with endowments. His personality was inspiring
and triumphant. Undisputed sway had moulded him to the likeness of a fatted
Roman emperor. The tones of his voice were not otherwise than clarion. To say
that the General was public-spirited would fall short of doing him justice. He
had spirit enough for a dozen publics. And as a sure foundation for it all, he
had a heart that was big and stanch. Yes; General Deffenbaugh was Elmville.
One little incident that
usually occurred during the Governor's morning walk has had its chronicling delayed
by more important matters. The procession was accustomed to halt before a small
brick office on the Avenue, fronted by a short flight of steep wooden steps. A
modest tin sign over the door bore the words: "Wm. B. Pemberton:
Attorney-at-Law."
Looking inside, the
General would roar: "Hello, Billy, my boy." The less distinguished
members of the escort would call: "Morning, Billy." The Governor
would pipe: "Good morning, William."
Then a patient-looking
little man with hair turning gray along the temples would come down the steps
and shake hands with each one of the party. All Elmville shook hands when it
met.
The formalities
concluded, the little man would go back to his table, heaped with law books and
papers, while the procession would proceed.
Billy Pemberton was, as
his sign declared, a lawyer by profession. By occupation and common consent he
was the Son of his Father. This was the shadow in which Billy lived, the pit
out of which he had unsuccessfully striven for years to climb and, he had come
to believe, the grave in which his ambitions were destined to be buried. Filial
respect and duty he paid beyond the habit of most sons, but he aspired to be
known and appraised by his own deeds and worth.
After many years of
tireless labour he had become known in certain quarters far from Elmville as a
master of the principles of the law. Twice he had gone to Washington and argued
cases before the highest tribunal with such acute logic and learning that the
silken gowns on the bench had rustled from the force of it. His income from his
practice had grown until he was able to support his father, in the old family
mansion (which neither of them would have thought of abandoning, rickety as it
was) in the comfort and almost the luxury of the old extravagant days. Yet, he
remained to Elmville as only "Billy" Pemberton, the son of our
distinguished and honoured fellow-townsman, "ex-Governor Pemberton."
Thus was he introduced at public gatherings where he sometimes spoke, haltingly
and prosily, for his talents were too serious and deep for extempore
brilliancy; thus was he presented to strangers and to the lawyers who made the
circuit of the courts; and so the Daily Banner referred to him
in print. To be "the son of" was his doom. What ever he should
accomplish would have to be sacrificed upon the altar of this magnificent but
fatal parental precedence.
The peculiarity and the
saddest thing about Billy's ambition was that the only world he thirsted to
conquer was Elmville. His nature was diffident and unassuming. National or
State honours might have oppressed him. But, above all things, he hungered for
the appreciation of the friends among whom he had been born and raised. He
would not have plucked one leaf from the garlands that were so lavishly
bestowed upon his father, he merely rebelled against having his own wreathes
woven from those dried and self-same branches. But Elmville "Billied"
and "sonned" him to his concealed but lasting chagrin, until at
length he grew more reserved and formal and studious than ever.
There came a morning
when Billy found among his mail a letter from a very high source, tendering him
the appointment to an important judicial position in the new island possessions
of our country. The honour was a distinguished one, for the entire nation had
discussed the probable recipients of these positions, and had agreed that the
situation demanded only men of the highest character, ripe learning, and evenly
balanced mind.
Billy could not subdue a
certain exultation at this token of the success of his long and arduous
labours, but, at the same time, a whimsical smile lingered around his mouth,
for he foresaw in which column Elmville would place the credit. "We
congratulate Governor Pemberton upon the mark of appreciation conferred upon
his son"—"Elmville rejoices with our honoured citizen, Governor
Pemberton, at his son's success"—"Put her there,
Billy!"—"Judge Billy Pemberton, sir; son of our State's war hero and
the people's pride!"—these were the phrases, printed and oral, conjured up
by Billy's prophetic fancy. Grandson of his State, and stepchild to
Elmville—thus had fate fixed his kinship to the body politic.
Billy lived with his
father in the old mansion. The two and an elderly lady—a distant
relative—comprised the family. Perhaps, though, old Jeff, the Governor's
ancient coloured body-servant, should be included. Without doubt, he could have
claimed the honour. There were other servants, but Thomas Jefferson Pemberton,
sah, was a member of "de fambly."
Jeff was the one
Elmvillian who gave to Billy the gold of approval unmixed with the alloy of
paternalism. To him "Mars William" was the greatest man in Talbot
County. Beaten upon though he was by the shining light that emanates from an
ex-war governor, and loyal as he remained to the old régime, his
faith and admiration were Billy's. As valet to a hero, and a member of the
family, he may have had superior opportunities for judging.
Jeff was the first one
to whom Bill revealed the news. When he reached home for supper Jeff took his
"plug" hat and smoothed it before hanging it upon the hall-rack.
"Dar now!"
said the old man: "I knowed it was er comin'. I knowed it was gwine ter
happen. Er Judge, you says, Mars William? Dem Yankees done made you er judge?
It's high time, sah, dey was doin' somep'n to make up for dey rascality
endurin' de war. I boun' dey holds a confab and says: 'Le's make Mars William
Pemberton er judge, and dat'll settle it.' Does you have to go way down to dem
Fillypines, Mars William, or kin you judge 'em from here?"
"I'd have to live
there most of the time, of course," said Billy.
"I wonder what de
Gubnor gwine say 'bout dat," speculated Jeff.
Billy wondered too.
After supper, when the
two sat in the library, according to their habit, the Governor smoking his clay
pipe and Billy his cigar, the son dutifully confessed to having been tendered
the appointment.
For a long time the
Governor sat, smoking, without making any comment. Billy reclined in his
favourite rocker, waiting, perhaps still flushed with satisfaction over the
tender that had come to him, unsolicited, in his dingy little office, above the
heads of the intriguing, time-serving, clamorous multitude.
At last the Governor
spoke; and, though his words were seemingly irrelevant, they were to the point.
His voice had a note of martyrdom running through its senile quaver.
"My rheumatism has
been growing steadily worse these past months, William."
"I am sorry,
father," said Billy, gently.
"And I am nearly
seventy-eight. I am getting to be an old man. I can recall the names of but two
or three who were in public life during My Administration. What did you say is
the nature of this position that is offered you, William?"
"A Federal
Judgeship, father. I believe it is considered to be a somewhat flattering
tender. It is outside of politics and wire-pulling, you know."
"No doubt, no
doubt. Few of the Pembertons have engaged in professional life for nearly a
century. None of them have ever held Federal positions. They have been
land-holders, slave-owners, and planters on a large scale. One of two of the
Derwents—your mother's family—were in the law. Have you decided to accept this
appointment, William?"
"I am thinking it
over," said Billy, slowly, regarding the ash of his cigar.
"You have been a
good son to me," continued the Governor, stirring his pipe with the handle
of a penholder.
"I've been your son
all my life," said Billy, darkly.
"I am often
gratified," piped the Governor, betraying a touch of complacency, "by
being congratulated upon having a son with such sound and sterling qualities.
Especially in this, our native town, is your name linked with mine in the talk
of our citizens."
"I never knew
anyone to forget the vindculum," murmured Billy, unintelligibly.
"Whatever
prestige," pursued the parent, "I may be possessed of, by virtue of
my name and services to the state, has been yours to draw upon freely. I have
not hesitated to exert it in your behalf whenever opportunity offered. And you
have deserved it, William. You've been the best of sons. And now this
appointment comes to take you away from me. I have but a few years left to
live. I am almost dependent upon others now, even in walking and dressing. What
would I do without you, my son?"
The Governor's pipe
dropped to the floor. A tear trickled from his eye. His voice had risen, and
crumbled to a weakling falsetto, and ceased. He was an old, old man about to be
bereft of a son that cherished him.
Billy rose, and laid his
hand upon the Governor's shoulder.
"Don't worry,
father," he said, cheerfully. "I'm not going to accept. Elmville is
good enough for me. I'll write to-night and decline it."
At the next interchange
of devoirs between the Governor and General Deffenbaugh on Lee Avenue, His
Excellency, with a comfortable air of self-satisfaction, spoke of the
appointment that had been tendered to Billy.
The General whistled.
"That's a plum for
Billy," he shouted. "Who'd have thought that Billy—but, confound it,
it's been in him all the time. It's a boost for Elmville. It'll send real
estate up. It's an honour to our state. It's a compliment to the South. We've
all been blind about Billy. When does he leave? We must have a reception. Great
Gatlings! that job's eight thousand a year! There's been a car-load of
lead-pencils worn to stubs figuring on those appointments. Think of it! Our
little, wood-sawing, mealy-mouthed Billy! Angel unawares doesn't begin to
express it. Elmville is disgraced forever until she lines up in a hurry for
ratification and apology."
The venerable Moloch
smiled fatuously. He carried the fire with which to consume all these tributes
to Billy, the smoke of which would ascend as an incense to himself.
"William,"
said the Governor, with modest pride, "has declined the appointment. He
refuses to leave me in my old age. He is a good son."
The General swung round,
and laid a large forefinger upon the bosom of his friend. Much of the General's
success had been due to his dexterity in establishing swift lines of
communication between cause and effect.
"Governor," he
said, with a keen look in his big, ox-like eyes, "you've been complaining to
Billy about your rheumatism."
"My dear
General," replied the Governor, stiffly, "my son is forty-two. He is
quite capable of deciding such questions for himself. And I, as his parent,
feel it my duty to state that your remark about—er—rheumatism is a mighty poor
shot from a very small bore, sir, aimed at a purely personal and private
affliction."
"If you will allow
me," retorted the General, "you've afflicted the public with it for
some time; and 'twas no small bore, at that."
This first tiff between
the two old comrades might have grown into something more serious, but for the
fortunate interruption caused by the ostentatious approach of Colonel Titus and
another one of the court retinue from the right county, to whom the General
confided the coddled statesman and went his way.
After Billy had so
effectually entombed his ambitions, and taken the veil, so to speak, in a
sonnery, he was surprised to discover how much lighter of heart and happier he
felt. He realized what a long, restless struggle he had maintained, and how
much he had lost by failing to cull the simple but wholesome pleasures by the
way. His heart warmed now to Elmville and the friends who had refused to set
him upon a pedestal. It was better, he began to think, to be "Billy"
and his father's son, and to be hailed familiarly by cheery neighbours and
grown-up playmates, than to be "Your Honour," and sit among
strangers, hearing, maybe, through the arguments of learned counsel, that old
man's feeble voice crying: "What would I do without you, my son?"
Billy began to surprise
his acquaintances by whistling as he walked up the street; others he astounded
by slapping them disrespectfully upon their backs and raking up old anecdotes
he had not had the time to recollect for years. Though he hammered away at his
law cases as thoroughly as ever, he found more time for relaxation and the
company of his friends. Some of the younger set were actually after him to join
the golf club. A striking proof of his abandonment to obscurity was his
adoption of a most undignified, rakish, little soft hat, reserving the
"plug" for Sundays and state occasions. Billy was beginning to enjoy
Elmville, though that irreverent burgh had neglected to crown him with bay and
myrtle.
All the while uneventful
peace pervaded Elmville. The Governor continued to make his triumphal parades
to the post-office with the General as chief marshal, for the slight squall
that had rippled their friendship had, to all indications, been forgotten by
both.
But one day Elmville
woke to sudden excitement. The news had come that a touring presidential party
would honour Elmville by a twenty-minute stop. The Executive had promised a
five-minute address from the balcony of the Palace Hotel.
Elmville arose as one
man—that man being, of course, General Deffenbaugh—to receive becomingly the
chieftain of all the clans. The train with the tiny Stars and Stripes
fluttering from the engine pilot arrived. Elmville had done her best. There
were bands, flowers, carriages, uniforms, banners, and committees without end.
High-school girls in white frocks impeded the steps of the party with roses
strewn nervously in bunches. The chieftain had seen it all before—scores of
times. He could have pictured it exactly in advance, from the Blue-and-Gray
speech down to the smallest rosebud. Yet his kindly smile of interest greeted
Elmville's display as if it had been the only and original.
In the upper rotunda of
the Palace Hotel the town's most illustrious were assembled for the honour of
being presented to the distinguished guests previous to the expected address.
Outside, Elmville's inglorious but patriotic masses filled the streets.
Here, in the hotel
General Deffenbaugh was holding in reserve Elmville's trump card. Elmville
knew; for the trump was a fixed one, and its lead consecrated by archaic
custom.
At the proper moment
Governor Pemberton, beautifully venerable, magnificently antique, tall,
paramount, stepped forward upon the arm of the General.
Elmville watched and
harked with bated breath. Never until now—when a Northern President of the
United States should clasp hands with ex-war-Governor Pemberton would the
breach be entirely closed—would the country be made one and indivisible—no
North, not much South, very little East, and no West to speak of. So Elmville
excitedly scraped kalsomine from the walls of the Palace Hotel with its Sunday
best, and waited for the Voice to speak.
And Billy! We had nearly
forgotten Billy. He was cast for Son, and he waited patiently for his cue. He
carried his "plug" in his hand, and felt serene. He admired his
father's striking air and pose. After all, it was a great deal to be a son of a
man who could so gallantly hold the position of a cynosure for three
generations.
General Deffenbaugh
cleared his throat. Elmville opened its mouth, and squirmed. The chieftain with
the kindly, fateful face was holding out his hand, smiling. Ex-war-Governor
Pemberton extended his own across the chasm. But what was this the General was
saying?
"Mr. President,
allow me to present to you one who has the honour to be the father of our
foremost, distinguished citizen, learned and honoured jurist, beloved townsman,
and model Southern gentleman—the Honourable William B. Pemberton."
XV.THE ENCHANTED KISS
But a clerk in the
Cut-rate Drug Store was Samuel Tansey, yet his slender frame was a pad that
enfolded the passion of Romeo, the gloom of Laura, the romance of D'Artagnan,
and the desperate inspiration of Melnotte. Pity, then, that he had been denied
expression, that he was doomed to the burden of utter timidity and diffidence,
that Fate had set him tongue-tied and scarlet before the muslin-clad angels
whom he adored and vainly longed to rescue, clasp, comfort, and subdue.
The clock's hands were
pointing close upon the hour of ten while Tansey was playing billiards with a
number of his friends. On alternate evenings he was released from duty at the
store after seven o'clock. Even among his fellow-men Tansey was timorous and
constrained. In his imagination he had done valiant deeds and performed acts of
distinguished gallantry; but in fact he was a sallow youth of twenty-three,
with an over-modest demeanour and scant vocabulary.
When the clock struck
ten, Tansey hastily laid down his cue and struck sharply upon the show-case
with a coin for the attendant to come and receive the pay for his score.
"What's your hurry,
Tansey?" called one. "Got another engagement?"
"Tansey got an
engagement!" echoed another. "Not on your life. Tansey's got to get
home at Motten by her Peek's orders."
"It's no such
thing," chimed in a pale youth, taking a large cigar from his mouth;
"Tansey's afraid to be late because Miss Katie might come down stairs to
unlock the door, and kiss him in the hall."
This delicate piece of
raillery sent a fiery tingle into Tansey's blood, for the indictment was
true—barring the kiss. That was a thing to dream of; to wildly hope for; but
too remote and sacred a thing to think of lightly.
Casting a cold and
contemptuous look at the speaker—a punishment commensurate with his own
diffident spirit—Tansey left the room, descending the stairs into the street.
For two years he had
silently adored Miss Peek, worshipping her from a spiritual distance through
which her attractions took on stellar brightness and mystery. Mrs. Peek kept a
few choice boarders, among whom was Tansey. The other young men romped with
Katie, chased her with crickets in their fingers, and "jollied" her
with an irreverent freedom that turned Tansey's heart into cold lead in his
bosom. The signs of his adoration were few—a tremulous "Good morning,"
stealthy glances at her during meals, and occasionally (Oh, rapture!) a
blushing, delirious game of cribbage with her in the parlour on some rare
evening when a miraculous lack of engagement kept her at home. Kiss him in the
hall! Aye, he feared it, but it was an ecstatic fear such as Elijah must have
felt when the chariot lifted him into the unknown.
But to-night the gibes
of his associates had stung him to a feeling of forward, lawless mutiny; a
defiant, challenging, atavistic recklessness. Spirit of corsair, adventurer,
lover, poet, bohemian, possessed him. The stars he saw above him seemed no more
unattainable, no less high, than the favour of Miss Peek or the fearsome
sweetness of her delectable lips. His fate seemed to him strangely dramatic and
pathetic, and to call for a solace consonant with its extremity. A saloon was
near by, and to this he flitted, calling for absinthe—beyond doubt the drink
most adequate to his mood—the tipple of the roué, the abandoned, the vainly
sighing lover.
Once he drank of it, and
again, and then again until he felt a strange, exalted sense of
non-participation in worldly affairs pervade him. Tansey was no drinker; his
consumption of three absinthe anisettes within almost as few minutes proclaimed
his unproficiency in the art; Tansey was merely flooding with unproven liquor
his sorrows; which record and tradition alleged to be drownable.
Coming out upon the
sidewalk, he snapped his fingers defiantly in the direction of the Peek
homestead, turned the other way, and voyaged, Columbus-like into the wilds of
an enchanted street. Nor is the figure exorbitant, for, beyond his store the
foot of Tansey had scarcely been set for years—store and boarding-house;
between these ports he was chartered to run, and contrary currents had rarely
deflected his prow.
Tansey aimlessly
protracted his walk, and, whether it was his unfamiliarity with the district,
his recent accession of audacious errantry, or the sophistical whisper of a
certain green-eyed fairy, he came at last to tread a shuttered, blank, and
echoing thoroughfare, dark and unpeopled. And, suddenly, this way came to an
end (as many streets do in the Spanish-built, archaic town of San Antone),
butting its head against an imminent, high, brick wall. No—the street still
lived! To the right and to the left it breathed through slender tubes of
exit—narrow, somnolent ravines, cobble paved and unlighted. Accommodating a
rise in the street to the right was reared a phantom flight of five luminous
steps of limestone, flanked by a wall of the same height and of the same
material.
Upon one of these steps
Tansey seated himself and bethought him of his love, and how she might never
know she was his love. And of Mother Peek, fat, vigilant and kind; not
unpleased, Tansey thought, that he and Katie should play cribbage in the
parlour together. For the Cut-rate had not cut his salary, which, sordidly
speaking, ranked him star boarder at the Peek's. And he thought of Captain
Peek, Katie's father, a man he dreaded and abhorred; a genteel loafer and spendthrift,
battening upon the labour of his women-folk; a very queer fish, and, according
to repute, not of the freshest.
The night had turned
chill and foggy. The heart of the town, with its noises, was left behind.
Reflected from the high vapours, its distant lights were manifest in quivering,
cone-shaped streamers, in questionable blushes of unnamed colours, in unstable,
ghostly waves of far, electric flashes. Now that the darkness was become more
friendly, the wall against which the street splintered developed a stone coping
topped with an armature of spikes. Beyond it loomed what appeared to be the
acute angles of mountain peaks, pierced here and there by little lambent
parallelograms. Considering this vista, Tansey at length persuaded himself that
the seeming mountains were, in fact, the convent of Santa Mercedes, with which
ancient and bulky pile he was better familiar from different coigns of view. A
pleasant note of singing in his ears reinforced his opinion. High, sweet, holy
carolling, far and harmonious and uprising, as of sanctified nuns at their
responses. At what hour did the Sisters sing? He tried to think—was it six,
eight, twelve? Tansey leaned his back against the limestone wall and wondered.
Strange things followed. The air was full of white, fluttering pigeons that
circled about, and settled upon the convent wall. The wall blossomed with a
quantity of shining green eyes that blinked and peered at him from the solid
masonry. A pink, classic nymph came from an excavation in the cavernous road
and danced, barefoot and airy, upon the ragged flints. The sky was traversed by
a company of beribboned cats, marching in stupendous, aërial procession. The
noise of singing grew louder; an illumination of unseasonable fireflies danced
past, and strange whispers came out of the dark without meaning or excuse.
Without amazement Tansey
took note of these phenomena. He was on some new plane of understanding, though
his mind seemed to him clear and, indeed, happily tranquil.
A desire for movement
and exploration seized him: he rose and turned into the black gash of street to
his right. For a time the high wall formed one of its boundaries; but further
on, two rows of black-windowed houses closed it in.
Here was the city's
quarter once given over to the Spaniard. Here were still his forbidding abodes
of concrete and adobe, standing cold and indomitable against the century. From
the murky fissure, the eye saw, flung against the sky, the tangled filigree of
his Moorish balconies. Through stone archways breaths of dead, vault-chilled
air coughed upon him; his feet struck jingling iron rings in staples
stone-buried for half a cycle. Along these paltry avenues had swaggered the
arrogant Don, had caracoled and serenaded and blustered while the tomahawk and
the pioneer's rifle were already uplifted to expel him from a continent. And
Tansey, stumbling through this old-world dust, looked up, dark as it was, and
saw Andalusian beauties glimmering on the balconies. Some of them were laughing
and listening to the goblin music that still followed; others harked fearfully
through the night, trying to catch the hoof beats of caballeros whose last
echoes from those stones had died away a century ago. Those women were silent,
but Tansey heard the jangle of horseless bridle-bits, the whirr of riderless
rowels, and, now and then, a muttered malediction in a foreign tongue. But he
was not frightened. Shadows, nor shadows of sounds could daunt him. Afraid? No.
Afraid of Mother Peek? Afraid to face the girl of his heart? Afraid of tipsy Captain
Peek? Nay! nor of these apparitions, nor of that spectral singing that always
pursued him. Singing! He would show them! He lifted up a strong and untuneful
voice:
"When you hear them
bells go tingalingling,"
serving notice upon
those mysterious agencies that if it should come to a face-to-face encounter
"There'll be a hot
time
In the old town
To-night!"
How long Tansey consumed
in treading this haunted byway was not clear to him, but in time he emerged
into a more commodious avenue. When within a few yards of the corner he
perceived, through a window, that a small confectionary of mean appearance was
set in the angle. His same glance that estimated its meagre equipment, its
cheap soda-water fountain and stock of tobacco and sweets, took cognizance of
Captain Peek within lighting a cigar at a swinging gaslight.
As Tansey rounded the
corner Captain Peek came out, and they met vis-a-vis. An exultant
joy filled Tansey when he found himself sustaining the encounter with implicit
courage. Peek, indeed! He raised his hand, and snapped his fingers loudly.
It was Peek himself who
quailed guiltily before the valiant mien of the drug clerk. Sharp surprise and
a palpable fear bourgeoned upon the Captain's face. And, verily, that face was
one to rather call up such expressions on the faces of others. The face of a
libidinous heathen idol, small eyed, with carven folds in the heavy jowls, and
a consuming, pagan license in its expression. In the gutter just beyond the
store Tansey saw a closed carriage standing with its back toward him and a
motionless driver perched in his place.
"Why, it's
Tansey!" exclaimed Captain Peek. "How are you, Tansey? H-have a
cigar, Tansey?"
"Why, it's
Peek!" cried Tansey, jubilant at his own temerity. "What deviltry are
you up to now, Peek? Back streets and a closed carriage! Fie! Peek!"
"There's no one in
the carriage," said the Captain, smoothly.
"Everybody out of
it is in luck," continued Tansey, aggressively. "I'd love for you to
know, Peek, that I'm not stuck on you. You're a bottle-nosed scoundrel."
"Why, the little
rat's drunk!" cried the Captain, joyfully; "only drunk, and I thought
he was on! Go home, Tansey, and quit bothering grown persons on the
street."
But just then a
white-clad figure sprang out of the carriage, and a shrill voice—Katie's
voice—sliced the air: "Sam! Sam!—help me, Sam!"
Tansey sprung toward
her, but Captain Peek interposed his bulky form. Wonder of wonders! the whilom
spiritless youth struck out with his right, and the hulking Captain went over
in a swearing heap. Tansey flew to Katie, and took her in his arms like a
conquering knight. She raised her face, and he kissed her—violets! electricity!
caramels! champagne! Here was the attainment of a dream that brought no
disenchantment.
"Oh, Sam,"
cried Katie, when she could, "I knew you would come to rescue me. What do
you suppose the mean things were going to do with me?"
"Have your picture
taken," said Tansey, wondering at the foolishness of his remark.
"No, they were
going to eat me. I heard them talking about it."
"Eat you!"
said Tansey, after pondering a moment. "That can't be; there's no
plates."
But a sudden noise
warned him to turn. Down upon him were bearing the Captain and a monstrous
long-bearded dwarf in a spangled cloak and red trunk-hose. The dwarf leaped
twenty feet and clutched them. The Captain seized Katie and hurled her,
shrieking, back into the carriage, himself followed, and the vehicle dashed
away. The dwarf lifted Tansey high above his head and ran with him into the
store. Holding him with one hand, he raised the lid of an enormous chest half
filled with cakes of ice, flung Tansey inside, and closed down the cover.
The force of the fall
must have been great, for Tansey lost consciousness. When his faculties revived
his first sensation was one of severe cold along his back and limbs. Opening
his eyes, he found himself to be seated upon the limestone steps still facing
the wall and convent of Santa Mercedes. His first thought was of the ecstatic
kiss from Katie. The outrageous villainy of Captain Peek, the unnatural mystery
of the situation, his preposterous conflict with the improbable dwarf—these
things roused and angered him, but left no impression of the unreal.
"I'll go back there
to-morrow," he grumbled aloud, "and knock the head off that
comic-opera squab. Running out and picking up perfect strangers, and shoving
them into cold storage!"
But the kiss remained
uppermost in his mind. "I might have done that long ago," he mused.
"She liked it, too. She called me 'Sam' four times. I'll not go up that
street again. Too much scrapping. Guess I'll move down the other way. Wonder
what she meant by saying they were going to eat her!"
Tansey began to feel
sleepy, but after a while he decided to move along again. This time he ventured
into the street to his left. It ran level for a distance, and then dipped
gently downward, opening into a vast, dim, barren space—the old Military Plaza.
To his left, some hundred yards distant, he saw a cluster of flickering lights
along the Plaza's border. He knew the locality at once.
Huddled within narrow
confines were the remnants of the once-famous purveyors of the celebrated
Mexican national cookery. A few years before, their nightly encampments upon
the historic Alamo Plaza, in the heart of the city, had been a carnival, a
saturnalia that was renowned throughout the land. Then the caterers numbered
hundreds; the patrons thousands. Drawn by the coquettish señoritas,
the music of the weird Spanish minstrels, and the strange piquant Mexican
dishes served at a hundred competing tables, crowds thronged the Alamo Plaza
all night. Travellers, rancheros, family parties, gay gasconading rounders,
sightseers and prowlers of polyglot, owlish San Antone mingled there at the
centre of the city's fun and frolic. The popping of corks, pistols, and
questions; the glitter of eyes, jewels and daggers; the ring of laughter and
coin—these were the order of the night.
But now no longer. To
some half-dozen tents, fires, and tables had dwindled the picturesque festival,
and these had been relegated to an ancient disused plaza.
Often had Tansey
strolled down to these stands at night to partake of the delectable chili-con-carne,
a dish evolved by the genius of Mexico, composed of delicate meats minced with
aromatic herbs and the poignant chili colorado—a compound full of
singular flavour and a fiery zest delightful to the Southron's palate.
The titillating odour of
this concoction came now, on the breeze, to the nostrils of Tansey, awakening
in him hunger for it. As he turned in that direction he saw a carriage dash up
to the Mexicans' tents out of the gloom of the Plaza. Some figures moved back
and forward in the uncertain light of the lanterns, and then the carriage was
driven swiftly away.
Tansey approached, and
sat at one of the tables covered with gaudy oil-cloth. Traffic was dull at the
moment. A few half-grown boys noisily fared at another table; the Mexicans hung
listless and phlegmatic about their wares. And it was still. The night hum of
the city crowded to the wall of dark buildings surrounding the Plaza, and
subsided to an indefinite buzz through which sharply perforated the crackle of
the languid fires and the rattle of fork and spoon. A sedative wind blew from
the southeast. The starless firmament pressed down upon the earth like a leaden
cover.
In all that quiet Tansey
turned his head suddenly, and saw, without disquietude, a troop of spectral
horsemen deploy into the Plaza and charge a luminous line of infantry that
advanced to sustain the shock. He saw the fierce flame of cannon and small
arms, but heard no sound. The careless victuallers lounged vacantly, not
deigning to view the conflict. Tansey mildly wondered to what nations these
mute combatants might belong; turned his back to them and ordered his chili and
coffee from the Mexican woman who advanced to serve him. This woman was old and
careworn; her face was lined like the rind of a cantaloupe. She fetched the
viands from a vessel set by the smouldering fire, and then retired to a tent,
dark within, that stood near by.
Presently Tansey heard a
turmoil in the tent; a wailing, broken-hearted pleading in the harmonious
Spanish tongue, and then two figures tumbled out into the light of the
lanterns. One was the old woman; the other was a man clothed with a sumptuous
and flashing splendour. The woman seemed to clutch and beseech from him
something against his will. The man broke from her and struck her brutally back
into the tent, where she lay, whimpering and invisible. Observing Tansey, he
walked rapidly to the table where he sat. Tansey recognized him to be Ramon
Torres, a Mexican, the proprietor of the stand he was patronizing.
Torres was a handsome,
nearly full-blooded descendant of the Spanish, seemingly about thirty years of
age, and of a haughty, but extremely courteous demeanour. To-night he was
dressed with signal magnificence. His costume was that of a triumphant matador,
made of purple velvet almost hidden by jeweled embroidery. Diamonds of enormous
size flashed upon his garb and his hands. He reached for a chair, and, seating
himself at the opposite side of the table, began to roll a finical cigarette.
"Ah, Meester
Tansee," he said, with a sultry fire in his silky, black eyes, "I
give myself pleasure to see you this evening. Meester Tansee, you have many
times come to eat at my table. I theenk you a safe man—a verree good friend.
How much would it please you to leeve forever?"
"Not come back any
more?" inquired Tansey.
"No; not leave—leeve;
the not-to-die."
"I would call
that," said Tansey, "a snap."
Torres leaned his elbows
upon the table, swallowed a mouthful of smoke, and spake—each word being
projected in a little puff of gray.
"How old do you
theenk I am, Meester Tansee?"
"Oh, twenty-eight
or thirty."
"Thees day,"
said the Mexican, "ees my birthday. I am four hundred and three years of
old to-day."
"Another
proof," said Tansey, airily, "of the healthfulness of our
climate."
"Eet is not the
air. I am to relate to you a secret of verree fine value. Listen me, Meester
Tansee. At the age of twenty-three I arrive in Mexico from Spain. When? In the
year fifteen hundred nineteen, with the soldados of Hernando
Cortez. I come to thees country seventeen fifteen. I saw your Alamo reduced. It
was like yesterday to me. Three hundred ninety-six year ago I learn the secret
always to leeve. Look at these clothes I war—at these diamantes. Do
you theenk I buy them with the money I make with selling the chili-con-carne,
Meester Tansee?"
"I should think
not," said Tansey, promptly. Torres laughed loudly.
"Valgame Dios! but
I do. But it not the kind you eating now. I make a deeferent kind, the eating
of which makes men to always leeve. What do you think! One thousand people I
supply—diez pesos each one pays me the month. You see! ten
thousand pesos everee month! Que diable! how
not I wear the fine ropa! You see that old woman try to hold me
back a little while ago? That ees my wife. When I marry her she is
young—seventeen year—bonita. Like the rest she ees become old and—what
you say!—tough? I am the same—young all the time. To-night I resolve to dress
myself and find another wife befitting my age. This old woman try to
scr-r-ratch my face. Ha! ha! Meester Tansee—same way they do entre los
Americanos."
"And this
health-food you spoke of?" said Tansey.
"Hear me,"
said Torres, leaning over the table until he lay flat upon it; "eet is
the chili-con-carne made not from the beef or the chicken, but
from the flesh of the señorita—young and tender. That ees the
secret. Everee month you must eat of it, having care to do so before the moon
is full, and you will not die any times. See how I trust you, friend Tansee!
To-night I have bought one young ladee—verree pretty—so fina, gorda,
blandita! To-morrow the chili will be ready. Ahora
si! One thousand dollars I pay for thees young ladee. From an Americano I
have bought—a verree tip-top man—el Capitan Peek—que es, Señor?"
For Tansey had sprung to
his feet, upsetting the chair. The words of Katie reverberated in his ears:
"They're going to eat me, Sam." This, then, was the monstrous fate to
which she had been delivered by her unnatural parent. The carriage he had seen
drive up from the Plaza was Captain Peek's. Where was Katie? Perhaps already—
Before he could decide
what to do a loud scream came from the tent. The old Mexican woman ran out, a
flashing knife in her hand. "I have released her," she cried.
"You shall kill no more. They will hang you—ingrato—encatador!"
Torres, with a hissing
exclamation, sprang at her.
"Ramoncito!"
she shrieked; "once you loved me."
The Mexican's arm raised
and descended. "You are old," he cried; and she fell and lay
motionless.
Another scream; the
flaps of the tent were flung aside, and there stood Katie, white with fear, her
wrists still bound with a cruel cord.
"Sam!" she
cried, "save me again!"
Tansey rounded the
table, and flung himself, with superb nerve, upon the Mexican. Just then a
clangour began; the clocks of the city were tolling the midnight hour. Tansey
clutched at Torres, and, for a moment, felt in his grasp the crunch of velvet
and the cold facets of the glittering gems. The next instant, the bedecked
caballero turned in his hands to a shrunken, leather-visaged, white-bearded,
old, old, screaming mummy, sandalled, ragged, and four hundred and three. The
Mexican woman was crawling to her feet, and laughing. She shook her brown hand
in the face of the whining viejo.
"Go, now," she
cried, "and seek your señorita. It was I, Ramoncito, who brought you to
this. Within each moon you eat of the life-giving chili. It was I
that kept the wrong time for you. You should have eaten yesterday instead
of to-morrow. It is too late. Off with you, hombre! You
are too old for me!"
"This,"
decided Tansey, releasing his hold of the gray-beard, "is a private family
matter concerning age, and no business of mine."
With one of the table
knives he hastened to saw asunder the fetters of the fair captive; and then,
for the second time that night he kissed Katie Peek—tasted again the sweetness,
the wonder, the thrill of it, attained once more the maximum of his incessant
dreams.
The next instant an icy
blade was driven deep between his shoulders; he felt his blood slowly congeal;
heard the senile cackle of the perennial Spaniard; saw the Plaza rise and reel
till the zenith crashed into the horizon—and knew no more.
When Tansey opened his
eyes again he was sitting upon those self-same steps gazing upon the dark bulk
of the sleeping convent. In the middle of his back was still the acute,
chilling pain. How had he been conveyed back there again? He got stiffly to his
feet and stretched his cramped limbs. Supporting himself against the stonework
he revolved in his mind the extravagant adventures that had befallen him each
time he had strayed from the steps that night. In reviewing them certain
features strained his credulity. Had he really met Captain Peek or Katie or the
unparalleled Mexican in his wanderings—had he really encountered them under
commonplace conditions and his over-stimulated brain had supplied the
incongruities? However that might be, a sudden, elating thought caused him an
intense joy. Nearly all of us have, at some point in our lives—either to excuse
our own stupidity or to placate our consciences—promulgated some theory of
fatalism. We have set up an intelligent Fate that works by codes and signals.
Tansey had done likewise; and now he read, through the night's incidents, the
finger-prints of destiny. Each excursion that he had made had led to the one
paramount finale—to Katie and that kiss, which survived and grew strong and
intoxicating in his memory. Clearly, Fate was holding up to him the mirror that
night, calling him to observe what awaited him at the end of whichever road he
might take. He immediately turned, and hurried homeward.
Clothed in an elaborate,
pale blue wrapper, cut to fit, Miss Katie Peek reclined in an armchair before a
waning fire in her room. Her little, bare feet were thrust into house-shoes
rimmed with swan's down. By the light of a small lamp she was attacking the
society news of the latest Sunday paper. Some happy substance, seemingly
indestructible, was being rhythmically crushed between her small white teeth.
Miss Katie read of functions and furbelows, but she kept a vigilant ear for
outside sounds and a frequent eye upon the clock over the mantel. At every
footstep upon the asphalt sidewalk her smooth, round chin would cease for a
moment its regular rise and fall, and a frown of listening would pucker her
pretty brows.
At last she heard the
latch of the iron gate click. She sprang up, tripped softly to the mirror,
where she made a few of those feminine, flickering passes at her front hair and
throat which are warranted to hypnotize the approaching guest.
The door-bell rang. Miss
Katie, in her haste, turned the blaze of the lamp lower instead of higher, and
hastened noiselessly down stairs into the hall. She turned the key, the door
opened, and Mr. Tansey side-stepped in.
"Why, the
i-de-a!" exclaimed Miss Katie, "is this you, Mr. Tansey? It's after
midnight. Aren't you ashamed to wake me up at such an hour to let you in?
You're just awful!"
"I was late,"
said Tansey, brilliantly.
"I should think you
were! Ma was awfully worried about you. When you weren't in by ten, that
hateful Tom McGill said you were out calling on another—said you were out
calling on some young lady. I just despise Mr. McGill. Well, I'm not going to
scold you any more, Mr. Tansey, if it is a little late—Oh! I
turned it the wrong way!"
Miss Katie gave a little
scream. Absent-mindedly she had turned the blaze of the lamp entirely out
instead of higher. It was very dark.
Tansey heard a musical,
soft giggle, and breathed an entrancing odour of heliotrope. A groping light
hand touched his arm.
"How awkward I was!
Can you find your way—Sam?"
"I—I think I have a
match, Miss K-Katie."
A scratching sound; a
flame; a glow of light held at arm's length by the recreant follower of Destiny
illuminating a tableau which shall end the ignominious chronicle—a maid with
unkissed, curling, contemptuous lips slowly lifting the lamp chimney and
allowing the wick to ignite; then waving a scornful and abjuring hand toward
the staircase—the unhappy Tansey, erstwhile champion in the prophetic lists of
fortune, ingloriously ascending to his just and certain doom, while (let us
imagine) half within the wings stands the imminent figure of Fate jerking
wildly at the wrong strings, and mixing things up in her usual able manner.
XVI.A DEPARTMENTAL CASE
In Texas you may travel
a thousand miles in a straight line. If your course is a crooked one, it is
likely that both the distance and your rate of speed may be vastly increased.
Clouds there sail serenely against the wind. The whip-poor-will delivers its
disconsolate cry with the notes exactly reversed from those of his Northern
brother. Given a drought and a subsequently lively rain, and lo! from a glazed
and stony soil will spring in a single night blossomed lilies, miraculously
fair. Tom Green County was once the standard of measurement. I have forgotten
how many New Jerseys and Rhode Islands it was that could have been stowed away
and lost in its chaparral. But the legislative axe has slashed Tom Green into a
handful of counties hardly larger than European kingdoms. The legislature
convenes at Austin, near the centre of the state; and, while the representative
from the Rio Grande country is gathering his palm-leaf fan and his linen duster
to set out for the capital, the Pan-handle solon winds his muffler above his
well-buttoned overcoat and kicks the snow from his well-greased boots ready for
the same journey. All this merely to hint that the big ex-republic of the
Southwest forms a sizable star on the flag, and to prepare for the corollary
that things sometimes happen there uncut to pattern and unfettered by metes and
bounds.
The Commissioner of
Insurance, Statistics, and History of the State of Texas was an official of no
very great or very small importance. The past tense is used, for now he is
Commissioner of Insurance alone. Statistics and history are no longer proper
nouns in the government records.
In the year 188––, the
governor appointed Luke Coonrod Standifer to be the head of this department.
Standifer was then fifty-five years of age, and a Texan to the core. His father
had been one of the state's earliest settlers and pioneers. Standifer himself
had served the commonwealth as Indian fighter, soldier, ranger, and legislator.
Much learning he did not claim, but he had drank pretty deep of the spring of
experience.
If other grounds were
less abundant, Texas should be well up in the lists of glory as the grateful
republic. For both as republic and state, it has busily heaped honours and
solid rewards upon its sons who rescued it from the wilderness.
Wherefore and therefore,
Luke Coonrod Standifer, son of Ezra Standifer, ex-Terry ranger, simon-pure
democrat, and lucky dweller in an unrepresented portion of the politico-geographical
map, was appointed Commissioner of Insurance, Statistics, and History.
Standifer accepted the
honour with some doubt as to the nature of the office he was to fill and his
capacity for filling it—but he accepted, and by wire. He immediately set out
from the little country town where he maintained (and was scarcely maintained
by) a somnolent and unfruitful office of surveying and map-drawing. Before
departing, he had looked up under the I's, S's and H's in the
"Encyclopædia Britannica" what information and preparation toward his
official duties that those weighty volumes afforded.
A few weeks of
incumbency diminished the new commissioner's awe of the great and important
office he had been called upon to conduct. An increasing familiarity with its
workings soon restored him to his accustomed placid course of life. In his
office was an old, spectacled clerk—a consecrated, informed, able machine, who
held his desk regardless of changes of administrative heads. Old Kauffman
instructed his new chief gradually in the knowledge of the department without
seeming to do so, and kept the wheels revolving without the slip of a cog.
Indeed, the Department
of Insurance, Statistics, and History carried no great heft of the burden of
state. Its main work was the regulating of the business done in the state by
foreign insurance companies, and the letter of the law was its guide. As for
statistics—well, you wrote letters to county officers, and scissored other
people's reports, and each year you got out a report of your own about the corn
crop and the cotton crop and pecans and pigs and black and white population,
and a great many columns of figures headed "bushels" and
"acres" and "square miles," etc.—and there you were.
History? The branch was purely a receptive one. Old ladies interested in the
science bothered you some with long reports of proceedings of their historical
societies. Some twenty or thirty people would write you each year that they had
secured Sam Houston's pocket-knife or Santa Ana's whisky-flask or Davy Crockett's
rifle—all absolutely authenticated—and demanded legislative appropriation to
purchase. Most of the work in the history branch went into pigeon-holes.
One sizzling August
afternoon the commissioner reclined in his office chair, with his feet upon the
long, official table covered with green billiard cloth. The commissioner was
smoking a cigar, and dreamily regarding the quivering landscape framed by the
window that looked upon the treeless capitol grounds. Perhaps he was thinking
of the rough and ready life he had led, of the old days of breathless adventure
and movement, of the comrades who now trod other paths or had ceased to tread
any, of the changes civilization and peace had brought, and, maybe,
complacently, of the snug and comfortable camp pitched for him under the dome
of the capitol of the state that had not forgotten his services.
The business of the
department was lax. Insurance was easy. Statistics were not in demand. History
was dead. Old Kauffman, the efficient and perpetual clerk, had requested an
infrequent half-holiday, incited to the unusual dissipation by the joy of
having successfully twisted the tail of a Connecticut insurance company that
was trying to do business contrary to the edicts of the great Lone Star State.
The office was very
still. A few subdued noises trickled in through the open door from the other
departments—a dull tinkling crash from the treasurer's office adjoining, as a
clerk tossed a bag of silver to the floor of the vault—the vague, intermittent
clatter of a dilatory typewriter—a dull tapping from the state geologist's
quarters as if some woodpecker had flown in to bore for his prey in the cool of
the massive building—and then a faint rustle and the light shuffling of the
well-worn shoes along the hall, the sounds ceasing at the door toward which the
commissioner's lethargic back was presented. Following this, the sound of a
gentle voice speaking words unintelligible to the commissioner's somewhat
dormant comprehension, but giving evidence of bewilderment and hesitation.
The voice was feminine;
the commissioner was of the race of cavaliers who make salaam before the trail
of a skirt without considering the quality of its cloth.
There stood in the door
a faded woman, one of the numerous sisterhood of the unhappy. She was dressed
all in black—poverty's perpetual mourning for lost joys. Her face had the
contours of twenty and the lines of forty. She may have lived that intervening
score of years in a twelve-month. There was about her yet an aurum of
indignant, unappeased, protesting youth that shone faintly through the
premature veil of unearned decline.
"I beg your pardon,
ma'am," said the commissioner, gaining his feet to the accompaniment of a
great creaking and sliding of his chair.
"Are you the
governor, sir?" asked the vision of melancholy.
The commissioner
hesitated at the end of his best bow, with his hand in the bosom of his
double-breasted "frock." Truth at last conquered.
"Well, no, ma'am. I
am not the governor. I have the honour to be Commissioner of Insurance,
Statistics, and History. Is there anything, ma'am, I can do for you? Won't you
have a chair, ma'am?"
The lady subsided into
the chair handed her, probably from purely physical reasons. She wielded a
cheap fan—last token of gentility to be abandoned. Her clothing seemed to
indicate a reduction almost to extreme poverty. She looked at the man who was
not the governor, and saw kindliness and simplicity and a rugged, unadorned
courtliness emanating from a countenance tanned and toughened by forty years of
outdoor life. Also, she saw that his eyes were clear and strong and blue. Just
so they had been when he used them to skim the horizon for raiding Kiowas and
Sioux. His mouth was as set and firm as it had been on that day when he bearded
the old Lion Sam Houston himself, and defied him during that season when
secession was the theme. Now, in bearing and dress, Luke Coonrod Sandifer
endeavoured to do credit to the important arts and sciences of Insurance,
Statistics, and History. He had abandoned the careless dress of his country
home. Now, his broad-brimmed black slouch hat, and his long-tailed
"frock" made him not the least imposing of the official family, even
if his office was reckoned to stand at the tail of the list.
"You wanted to see
the governor, ma'am?" asked the commissioner, with a deferential manner he
always used toward the fair sex.
"I hardly
know," said the lady, hesitatingly. "I suppose so." And then,
suddenly drawn by the sympathetic look of the other, she poured forth the story
of her need.
It was a story so common
that the public has come to look at its monotony instead of its pity. The old
tale of an unhappy married life—made so by a brutal, conscienceless husband, a
robber, a spendthrift, a moral coward and a bully, who failed to provide even
the means of the barest existence. Yes, he had come down in the scale so low as
to strike her. It happened only the day before—there was the bruise on one
temple—she had offended his highness by asking for a little money to live on.
And yet she must needs, woman-like, append a plea for her tyrant—he was
drinking; he had rarely abused her thus when sober.
"I thought,"
mourned this pale sister of sorrow, "that maybe the state might be willing
to give me some relief. I've heard of such things being done for the families
of old settlers. I've heard tell that the state used to give land to the men
who fought for it against Mexico, and settled up the country, and helped drive
out the Indians. My father did all of that, and he never received anything. He
never would take it. I thought the governor would be the one to see, and that's
why I came. If father was entitled to anything, they might let it come to
me."
"It's possible,
ma'am," said Standifer, "that such might be the case. But 'most all
the veterans and settlers got their land certificates issued, and located long
ago. Still, we can look that up in the land office, and be sure. Your father's
name, now, was—"
"Amos Colvin,
sir."
"Good Lord!"
exclaimed Standifer, rising and unbuttoning his tight coat, excitedly.
"Are you Amos Colvin's daughter? Why, ma'am, Amos Colvin and me were
thicker than two hoss thieves for more than ten years! We fought Kiowas, drove
cattle, and rangered side by side nearly all over Texas. I remember seeing you
once before, now. You were a kid, about seven, a-riding a little yellow pony up
and down. Amos and me stopped at your home for a little grub when we were
trailing that band of Mexican cattle thieves down through Karnes and Bee. Great
tarantulas! and you're Amos Colvin's little girl! Did you ever hear your father
mention Luke Standifer—just kind of casually—as if he'd met me once or
twice?"
A little pale smile
flitted across the lady's white face.
"It seems to
me," she said, "that I don't remember hearing him talk about much
else. Every day there was some story he had to tell about what he and you had
done. Mighty near the last thing I heard him tell was about the time when the
Indians wounded him, and you crawled out to him through the grass, with a
canteen of water, while they—"
"Yes, yes—well—oh,
that wasn't anything," said Standifer, "hemming" loudly and
buttoning his coat again, briskly. "And now, ma'am, who was the infernal
skunk—I beg your pardon, ma'am—who was the gentleman you married?"
"Benton
Sharp."
The commissioner plumped
down again into his chair, with a groan. This gentle, sad little woman, in the
rusty black gown, the daughter of his oldest friend, the wife of Benton Sharp!
Benton Sharp, one of the most noted "bad" men in that part of the
state—a man who had been a cattle thief, an outlaw, a desperado, and was now a
gambler, a swaggering bully, who plied his trade in the larger frontier towns,
relying upon his record and the quickness of his gun play to maintain his
supremacy. Seldom did any one take the risk of going "up against"
Benton Sharp. Even the law officers were content to let him make his own terms
of peace. Sharp was a ready and an accurate shot, and as lucky as a brand-new
penny at coming clear from his scrapes. Standifer wondered how this pillaging
eagle ever came to be mated with Amos Colvin's little dove, and expressed his
wonder.
Mrs. Sharp sighed.
"You see, Mr.
Standifer, we didn't know anything about him, and he can be very pleasant and
kind when he wants to. We lived down in the little town of Goliad. Benton came
riding down that way, and stopped there a while. I reckon I was some better
looking then than I am now. He was good to me for a whole year after we were
married. He insured his life for me for five thousand dollars. But for the last
six months he has done everything but kill me. I often wish he had done that,
too. He got out of money for a while, and abused me shamefully for not having
anything he could spend. Then father died, and left me the little home in
Goliad. My husband made me sell that, and turned me out into the world. I've
barely been able to live, for I'm not strong enough to work. Lately, I heard he
was making money in San Antonio, so I went there, and found him, and asked for
a little help. This," touching the livid bruise on her temple, "is
what he gave me. So I came on to Austin to see the governor. I once heard
father say that there was some land, or a pension, coming to him from the state
that he never would ask for."
Luke Standifer rose to
his feet, and pushed his chair back. He looked rather perplexedly around the
big office, with its handsome furniture.
"It's a long trail
to follow," he said, slowly, "trying to get back dues from the
government. There's red tape and lawyers and rulings and evidence and courts to
keep you waiting. I'm not certain," continued the commissioner, with a
profoundly meditative frown, "whether this department that I'm the boss of
has any jurisdiction or not. It's only Insurance, Statistics, and History,
ma'am, and it don't sound as if it would cover the case. But sometimes a saddle
blanket can be made to stretch. You keep your seat, just for a few minutes,
ma'am, till I step into the next room and see about it."
The state treasurer was
seated within his massive, complicated railings, reading a newspaper. Business
for the day was about over. The clerks lolled at their desks, awaiting the
closing hour. The Commissioner of Insurance, Statistics, and History entered,
and leaned in at the window.
The treasurer, a little,
brisk old man, with snow-white moustache and beard, jumped up youthfully and
came forward to greet Standifer. They were friends of old.
"Uncle Frank,"
said the commissioner, using the familiar name by which the historic treasurer
was addressed by every Texan, "how much money have you got on hand?"
The treasurer named the
sum of the last balance down to the odd cents—something more than a million
dollars.
The commissioner
whistled lowly, and his eyes grew hopefully bright.
"You know, or else
you've heard of, Amos Colvin, Uncle Frank?"
"Knew him well,"
said the treasurer, promptly. "A good man. A valuable citizen. One of the
first settlers in the Southwest."
"His
daughter," said Standifer, "is sitting in my office. She's penniless.
She's married to Benton Sharp, a coyote and a murderer. He's reduced her to
want, and broken her heart. Her father helped build up this state, and it's the
state's turn to help his child. A couple of thousand dollars will buy back her
home and let her live in peace. The State of Texas can't afford to refuse it.
Give me the money, Uncle Frank, and I'll give it to her right away. We'll fix
up the red-tape business afterward."
The treasurer looked a
little bewildered.
"Why,
Standifer," he said, "you know I can't pay a cent out of the treasury
without a warrant from the comptroller. I can't disburse a dollar without a
voucher to show for it."
The commissioner
betrayed a slight impatience.
"I'll give you a
voucher," he declared. "What's this job they've given me for? Am I
just a knot on a mesquite stump? Can't my office stand for it? Charge it up to
Insurance and the other two sideshows. Don't Statistics show that Amos Colvin
came to this state when it was in the hands of Greasers and rattlesnakes and
Comanches, and fought day and night to make a white man's country of it? Don't they
show that Amos Colvin's daughter is brought to ruin by a villain who's trying
to pull down what you and I and old Texans shed our blood to build up? Don't
History show that the Lone Star State never yet failed to grant relief to the
suffering and oppressed children of the men who made her the grandest
commonwealth in the Union? If Statistics and History don't bear out the claim
of Amos Colvin's child I'll ask the next legislature to abolish my office.
Come, now, Uncle Frank, let her have the money. I'll sign the papers
officially, if you say so; and then if the governor or the comptroller or the
janitor or anybody else makes a kick, by the Lord I'll refer the matter to the
people, and see if they won't endorse the act."
The treasurer looked
sympathetic but shocked. The commissioner's voice had grown louder as he
rounded off the sentences that, however praiseworthy they might be in
sentiment, reflected somewhat upon the capacity of the head of a more or less
important department of state. The clerks were beginning to listen.
"Now,
Standifer," said the treasurer, soothingly, "you know I'd like to
help in this matter, but stop and think a moment, please. Every cent in the
treasury is expended only by appropriation made by the legislature, and drawn
out by checks issued by the comptroller. I can't control the use of a cent of
it. Neither can you. Your department isn't disbursive—it isn't even
administrative—it's purely clerical. The only way for the lady to obtain relief
is to petition the legislature, and—"
"To the devil with
the legislature," said Standifer, turning away.
The treasurer called him
back.
"I'd be glad,
Standifer, to contribute a hundred dollars personally toward the immediate
expenses of Colvin's daughter." He reached for his pocketbook.
"Never mind, Uncle
Frank," said the commissioner, in a softer tone. "There's no need of
that. She hasn't asked for anything of that sort yet. Besides, her case is in
my hands. I see now what a little, rag-tag, bob-tail, gotch-eared department
I've been put in charge of. It seems to be about as important as an almanac or
a hotel register. But while I'm running it, it won't turn away any daughters of
Amos Colvin without stretching its jurisdiction to cover, if possible. You want
to keep your eye on the Department of Insurance, Statistics, and History."
The commissioner
returned to his office, looking thoughtful. He opened and closed an inkstand on
his desk many times with extreme and undue attention. "Why don't you get a
divorce?" he asked, suddenly.
"I haven't the money
to pay for it," answered the lady.
"Just at
present," announced the commissioner, in a formal tone, "the powers
of my department appear to be considerably string-halted. Statistics seem to be
overdrawn at the bank, and History isn't good for a square meal. But you've
come to the right place, ma'am. The department will see you through. Where did
you say your husband is, ma'am?"
"He was in San
Antonio yesterday. He is living there now."
Suddenly the
commissioner abandoned his official air. He took the faded little woman's hands
in his, and spoke in the old voice he used on the trail and around campfires.
"Your name's
Amanda, isn't it?"
"Yes, sir."
"I thought so. I've
heard your dad say it often enough. Well, Amanda, here's your father's best
friend, the head of a big office in the state government, that's going to help
you out of your troubles. And here's the old bushwhacker and cowpuncher that
your father has helped out of scrapes time and time again wants to ask you a
question. Amanda, have you got money enough to run you for the next two or
three days?"
Mrs. Sharp's white face
flushed the least bit.
"Plenty, sir—for a
few days."
"All right, then,
ma'am. Now you go back where you are stopping here, and you come to the office
again the day after to-morrow at four o'clock in the afternoon. Very likely by
that time there will be something definite to report to you." The
commissioner hesitated, and looked a trifle embarrassed. "You said your
husband had insured his life for $5,000. Do you know whether the premiums have
been kept paid upon it or not?"
"He paid for a
whole year in advance about five months ago," said Mrs. Sharp. "I
have the policy and receipts in my trunk."
"Oh, that's all
right, then," said Standifer. "It's best to look after things of that
sort. Some day they may come in handy."
Mrs. Sharp departed, and
soon afterward Luke Standifer went down to the little hotel where he boarded
and looked up the railroad time-table in the daily paper. Half an hour later he
removed his coat and vest, and strapped a peculiarly constructed pistol holster
across his shoulders, leaving the receptacle close under his left armpit. Into
the holster he shoved a short-barrelled .44 calibre revolver. Putting on his
clothes again, he strolled to the station and caught the five-twenty afternoon
train for San Antonio.
The San Antonio Express of
the following morning contained this sensational piece of news:
BENTON SHARP MEETS HIS MATCH
The
Most Noted Desperado in Southwest Texas Shot to Death in the Gold Front
Restaurant—Prominent State Official Successfully Defends Himself Against the
Noted Bully—Magnificent Exhibition of Quick Gun Play.
Last night about eleven
o'clock Benton Sharp, with two other men, entered the Gold Front Restaurant and
seated themselves at a table. Sharp had been drinking, and was loud and
boisterous, as he always was when under the influence of liquor. Five minutes
after the party was seated a tall, well-dressed, elderly gentleman entered the
restaurant. Few present recognized the Honourable Luke Standifer, the recently
appointed Commissioner of Insurance, Statistics, and History.
Going over to the same
side where Sharp was, Mr. Standifer prepared to take a seat at the next table.
In hanging his hat upon one of the hooks along the wall he let it fall upon Sharp's
head. Sharp turned, being in an especially ugly humour, and cursed the other
roundly. Mr. Standifer apologized calmly for the accident, but Sharp continued
his vituperations. Mr. Standifer was observed to draw near and speak a few
sentences to the desperado in so low a tone that no one else caught the words.
Sharp sprang up, wild with rage. In the meantime Standifer had stepped some
yards away, and was standing quietly with his arms folded across the breast of
his loosely hanging coat.
With that impetuous and
deadly rapidity that made Sharp so dreaded, he reached for the gun he always
carried in his hip pocket—a movement that has preceded the death of at least a
dozen men at his hands. Quick as the motion was, the bystanders assert that it
was met by the most beautiful exhibition of lightning gun-pulling ever
witnessed in the Southwest. As Sharp's pistol was being raised—and the act was
really quicker than the eye could follow—a glittering .44 appeared as if by
some conjuring trick in the right hand of Mr. Standifer, who, without a
perceptible movement of his arm, shot Benton Sharp through the heart. It seems
that the new Commissioner of Insurance, Statistics, and History has been an
old-time Indian fighter and ranger for many years, which accounts for the happy
knack he has of handling a .44.
It is not believed that
Mr. Standifer will be put to any inconvenience beyond a necessary formal
hearing to-day, as all the witnesses who were present unite in declaring that
the deed was done in self-defence.
When Mrs. Sharp appeared
at the office of the commissioner, according to appointment, she found that
gentleman calmly eating a golden russet apple. He greeted her without
embarrassment and without hesitation at approaching the subject that was the
topic of the day.
"I had to do it,
ma'am," he said, simply, "or get it myself. Mr. Kauffman," he
added, turning to the old clerk, "please look up the records of the
Security Life Insurance Company and see if they are all right."
"No need to
look," grunted Kauffman, who had everything in his head. "It's all
O.K. They pay all losses within ten days."
Mrs. Sharp soon rose to
depart. She had arranged to remain in town until the policy was paid. The
commissioner did not detain her. She was a woman, and he did not know just what
to say to her at present. Rest and time would bring her what she needed.
But, as she was leaving,
Luke Standifer indulged himself in an official remark:
"The Department of
Insurance, Statistics, and History, ma'am, has done the best it could with your
case. 'Twas a case hard to cover according to red tape. Statistics failed, and
History missed fire, but, if I may be permitted to say it, we came out
particularly strong on Insurance."
XVII.THE RENAISSANCE AT CHARLEROI
Grandemont Charles was a
little Creole gentleman, aged thirty-four, with a bald spot on the top of his
head and the manners of a prince. By day he was a clerk in a cotton broker's
office in one of those cold, rancid mountains of oozy brick, down near the
levee in New Orleans. By night, in his three-story-high chambre garnier in
the old French Quarter he was again the last male descendant of the Charles
family, that noble house that had lorded it in France, and had pushed its way
smiling, rapiered, and courtly into Louisiana's early and brilliant days. Of
late years the Charleses had subsided into the more republican but scarcely
less royally carried magnificence and ease of plantation life along the
Mississippi. Perhaps Grandemont was even Marquis de Brassé. There was that
title in the family. But a Marquis on seventy-five dollars per month! Vraiment! Still,
it has been done on less.
Grandemont had saved out
of his salary the sum of six hundred dollars. Enough, you would say, for any
man to marry on. So, after a silence of two years on that subject, he reopened
that most hazardous question to Mlle. Adèle Fauquier, riding down to Meade
d'Or, her father's plantation. Her answer was the same that it had been any
time during the last ten years: "First find my brother, Monsieur Charles."
This time he had stood
before her, perhaps discouraged by a love so long and hopeless, being dependent
upon a contingency so unreasonable, and demanded to be told in simple words
whether she loved him or no.
Adèle looked at him
steadily out of her gray eyes that betrayed no secrets and answered, a little
more softly:
"Grandemont, you
have no right to ask that question unless you can do what I ask of you. Either
bring back brother Victor to us or the proof that he died."
Somehow, though five
times thus rejected, his heart was not so heavy when he left. She had not
denied that she loved. Upon what shallow waters can the bark of passion remain
afloat! Or, shall we play the doctrinaire, and hint that at thirty-four the
tides of life are calmer and cognizant of many sources instead of but one—as at
four-and-twenty?
Victor Fauquier would
never be found. In those early days of his disappearance there was money to the
Charles name, and Grandemont had spent the dollars as if they were picayunes in
trying to find the lost youth. Even then he had had small hope of success, for
the Mississippi gives up a victim from its oily tangles only at the whim of its
malign will.
A thousand times had
Grandemont conned in his mind the scene of Victor's disappearance. And, at each
time that Adèle had set her stubborn but pitiful alternative against his suit,
still clearer it repeated itself in his brain.
The boy had been the
family favourite; daring, winning, reckless. His unwise fancy had been captured
by a girl on the plantation—the daughter of an overseer. Victor's family was in
ignorance of the intrigue, as far as it had gone. To save them the inevitable
pain that his course promised, Grandemont strove to prevent it. Omnipotent
money smoothed the way. The overseer and his daughter left, between a sunset
and dawn, for an undesignated bourne. Grandemont was confident that this stroke
would bring the boy to reason. He rode over to Meade d'Or to talk with him. The
two strolled out of the house and grounds, crossed the road, and, mounting the
levee, walked its broad path while they conversed. A thunder-cloud was hanging,
imminent, above, but, as yet, no rain fell. At Grandemont's disclosure of his
interference in the clandestine romance, Victor attacked him, in a wild and
sudden fury. Grandemont, though of slight frame, possessed muscles of iron. He
caught the wrists amid a shower of blows descending upon him, bent the lad
backward and stretched him upon the levee path. In a little while the gust of
passion was spent, and he was allowed to rise. Calm now, but a powder mine
where he had been but a whiff of the tantrums, Victor extended his hand toward
the dwelling house of Meade d'Or.
"You and
they," he cried, "have conspired to destroy my happiness. None of you
shall ever look upon my face again."
Turning, he ran swiftly
down the levee, disappearing in the darkness. Grandemont followed as well as he
could, calling to him, but in vain. For longer than an hour he pursued the
search. Descending the side of the levee, he penetrated the rank density of
weeds and willows that undergrew the trees until the river's edge, shouting
Victor's name. There was never an answer, though once he thought he heard a
bubbling scream from the dun waters sliding past. Then the storm broke, and he
returned to the house drenched and dejected.
There he explained the
boy's absence sufficiently, he thought, not speaking of the tangle that had led
to it, for he hoped that Victor would return as soon as his anger had cooled.
Afterward, when the threat was made good and they saw his face no more, he
found it difficult to alter his explanations of that night, and there clung a
certain mystery to the boy's reasons for vanishing as well as to the manner of
it.
It was on that night
that Grandemont first perceived a new and singular expression in Adèle's eyes
whenever she looked at him. And through the years following that expression was
always there. He could not read it, for it was born of a thought she would
never otherwise reveal.
Perhaps, if he had known
that Adèle had stood at the gate on that unlucky night, where she had followed,
lingering, to await the return of her brother and lover, wondering why they had
chosen so tempestuous an hour and so black a spot to hold converse—if he had
known that a sudden flash of lightning had revealed to her sight that short,
sharp struggle as Victor was sinking under his hands, he might have explained
everything, and she—
I know what she would
have done. But one thing is clear—there was something besides her brother's
disappearance between Grandemont's pleadings for her hand and Adèle's
"yes." Ten years had passed, and what she had seen during the space
of that lightning flash remained an indelible picture. She had loved her
brother, but was she holding out for the solution of that mystery or for the
"Truth"? Women have been known to reverence it, even as an abstract
principle. It is said there have been a few who, in the matter of their
affections, have considered a life to be a small thing as compared with a lie.
That I do not know. But, I wonder, had Grandemont cast himself at her feet
crying that his hand had sent Victor to the bottom of that inscrutable river,
and that he could no longer sully his love with a lie, I wonder if—I wonder
what she would have done!
But, Grandemont Charles,
Arcadian little gentleman, never guessed the meaning of that look in Adèle's
eyes; and from this last bootless payment of his devoirs he rode away as rich
as ever in honour and love, but poor in hope.
That was in September.
It was during the first winter month that Grandemont conceived his idea of
the renaissance. Since Adèle would never be his, and wealth without
her were useless trumpery, why need he add to that hoard of slowly harvested
dollars? Why should he even retain that hoard?
Hundreds were the
cigarettes he consumed over his claret, sitting at the little polished tables
in the Royal street cafés while thinking over his plan. By and by he had it
perfect. It would cost, beyond doubt, all the money he had, but—le jeu vaut
la chandelle—for some hours he would be once more a Charles of Charleroi.
Once again should the nineteenth of January, that most significant day in the
fortunes of the house of Charles, be fittingly observed. On that date the
French king had seated a Charles by his side at table; on that date Armand
Charles, Marquis de Brassé, landed, like a brilliant meteor, in New Orleans; it
was the date of his mother's wedding; of Grandemont's birth. Since Grandemont
could remember until the breaking up of the family that anniversary had been
the synonym for feasting, hospitality, and proud commemoration.
Charleroi was the old
family plantation, lying some twenty miles down the river. Years ago the estate
had been sold to discharge the debts of its too-bountiful owners. Once again it
had changed hands, and now the must and mildew of litigation had settled upon
it. A question of heirship was in the courts, and the dwelling house of
Charleroi, unless the tales told of ghostly powdered and laced Charleses
haunting its unechoing chambers were true, stood uninhabited.
Grandemont found the
solicitor in chancery who held the keys pending the decision. He proved to be
an old friend of the family. Grandemont explained briefly that he desired to
rent the house for two or three days. He wanted to give a dinner at his old
home to a few friends. That was all.
"Take it for a
week—a month, if you will," said the solicitor; "but do not speak to
me of rental." With a sigh he concluded: "The dinners I have eaten
under that roof, mon fils!"
There came to many of
the old, established dealers in furniture, china, silverware, decorations and
household fittings at their stores on Canal, Chartres, St. Charles, and Royal
Streets, a quiet young man with a little bald spot on the top of his head,
distinguished manners, and the eye of a connoisseur, who explained
what he wanted. To hire the complete and elegant equipment of a dining-room,
hall, reception-room, and cloak-rooms. The goods were to be packed and sent, by
boat, to the Charleroi landing, and would be returned within three or four
days. All damage or loss to be promptly paid for.
Many of those old
merchants knew Grandemont by sight, and the Charleses of old by association.
Some of them were of Creole stock and felt a thrill of responsive sympathy with
the magnificently indiscreet design of this impoverished clerk who would revive
but for a moment the ancient flame of glory with the fuel of his savings.
"Choose what you
want," they said to him. "Handle everything carefully. See that the
damage bill is kept low, and the charges for the loan will not oppress
you."
To the wine merchants
next; and here a doleful slice was lopped from the six hundred. It was an
exquisite pleasure to Grandemont once more to pick among the precious vintages.
The champagne bins lured him like the abodes of sirens, but these he was forced
to pass. With his six hundred he stood before them as a child with a penny
stands before a French doll. But he bought with taste and discretion of other
wines—Chablis, Moselle, Château d'Or, Hochheimer, and port of right age and
pedigree.
The matter of the
cuisine gave him some studious hours until he suddenly recollected André—André,
their old chef—the most sublime master of French Creole cookery in
the Mississippi Valley. Perhaps he was yet somewhere about the plantation. The
solicitor had told him that the place was still being cultivated, in accordance
with a compromise agreement between the litigants.
On the next Sunday after
the thought Grandemont rode, horseback, down to Charleroi. The big, square
house with its two long ells looked blank and cheerless with its closed
shutters and doors.
The shrubbery in the
yard was ragged and riotous. Fallen leaves from the grove littered the walks
and porches. Turning down the lane at the side of the house, Grandemont rode on
to the quarters of the plantation hands. He found the workers just streaming
back from church, careless, happy, and bedecked in gay yellows, reds, and
blues.
Yes, André was still
there; his wool a little grayer; his mouth as wide; his laughter as ready as
ever. Grandemont told him of his plan, and the old chef swayed
with pride and delight. With a sigh of relief, knowing that he need have no
further concern until the serving of that dinner was announced, he placed in
André's hands a liberal sum for the cost of it, giving carte blanche for
its creation.
Among the blacks were
also a number of the old house servants. Absalom, the former major domo, and a
half-dozen of the younger men, once waiters and attachés of the kitchen,
pantry, and other domestic departments crowded around to greet "M'shi
Grande." Absalom guaranteed to marshal, of these, a corps of assistants
that would perform with credit the serving of the dinner.
After distributing a
liberal largesse among the faithful, Grandemont rode back to town well pleased.
There were many other smaller details to think of and provide for, but
eventually the scheme was complete, and now there remained only the issuance of
the invitations to his guests.
Along the river within
the scope of a score of miles dwelt some half-dozen families with whose
princely hospitality that of the Charleses had been contemporaneous. They were
the proudest and most august of the old régime. Their small circle had been a
brilliant one; their social relations close and warm; their houses full of rare
welcome and discriminating bounty. Those friends, said Grandemont, should once
more, if never again, sit at Charleroi on a nineteenth of January to celebrate
the festal day of his house.
Grandemont had his cards
of invitation engraved. They were expensive, but beautiful. In one particular
their good taste might have been disputed; but the Creole allowed himself that
one feather in the cap of his fugacious splendour. Might he not be allowed, for
the one day of the renaissance, to be "Grandemont du Puy Charles,
of Charleroi"? He sent the invitations out early in January so that the
guests might not fail to receive due notice.
At eight o'clock in the
morning of the nineteenth, the lower coast steamboat River Belle gingerly
approached the long unused landing at Charleroi. The bridge was lowered, and a
swarm of the plantation hands streamed along the rotting pier, bearing ashore a
strange assortment of freight. Great shapeless bundles and bales and packets
swathed in cloth and bound with ropes; tubs and urns of palms, evergreens, and
tropical flowers; tables, mirrors, chairs, couches, carpets, and pictures—all
carefully bound and padded against the dangers of transit.
Grandemont was among
them, the busiest there. To the safe conveyance of certain large hampers eloquent
with printed cautions to delicate handling he gave his superintendence, for
they contained the fragile china and glassware. The dropping of one of those
hampers would have cost him more than he could have saved in a year.
The last article
unloaded, the River Belle backed off and continued her course
down stream. In less than an hour everything had been conveyed to the house.
And came then Absalom's task, directing the placing of the furniture and wares.
There was plenty of help, for that day was always a holiday at Charleroi, and
the Negroes did not suffer the old traditions to lapse. Almost the entire
population of the quarters volunteered their aid. A score of piccaninnies were
sweeping at the leaves in the yard. In the big kitchen at the rear André was
lording it with his old-time magnificence over his numerous sub-cooks and
scullions. Shutters were flung wide; dust spun in clouds; the house echoed to
voices and the tread of busy feet. The prince had come again, and Charleroi
woke from its long sleep.
The full moon, as she
rose across the river that night and peeped above the levee saw a sight that
had long been missing from her orbit. The old plantation house shed a soft and
alluring radiance from every window. Of its two-score rooms only four had been
refurnished—the larger reception chamber, the dining hall, and two smaller
rooms for the convenience of the expected guests. But lighted wax candles were
set in the windows of every room.
The dining-hall was
the chef d'œuvre. The long table, set with twenty-five covers,
sparkled like a winter landscape with its snowy napery and china and the icy
gleam of crystal. The chaste beauty of the room had required small adornment.
The polished floor burned to a glowing ruby with the reflection of candle light.
The rich wainscoting reached half way to the ceiling. Along and above this had
been set the relieving lightness of a few water-colour sketches of fruit and
flower.
The reception chamber
was fitted in a simple but elegant style. Its arrangement suggested nothing of
the fact that on the morrow the room would again be cleared and abandoned to
the dust and the spider. The entrance hall was imposing with palms and ferns
and the light of an immense candelabrum.
At seven o'clock
Grandemont, in evening dress, with pearls—a family passion—in his spotless
linen, emerged from somewhere. The invitations had specified eight as the
dining hour. He drew an armchair upon the porch, and sat there, smoking
cigarettes and half dreaming.
The moon was an hour
high. Fifty years back from the gate stood the house, under its noble grove.
The road ran in front, and then came the grass-grown levee and the insatiate
river beyond. Just above the levee top a tiny red light was creeping down and a
tiny green one was creeping up. Then the passing steamers saluted, and the
hoarse din startled the drowsy silence of the melancholy lowlands. The
stillness returned, save for the little voices of the night—the owl's
recitative, the capriccio of the crickets, the concerto of the frogs in the grass.
The piccaninnies and the dawdlers from the quarters had been dismissed to their
confines, and the melée of the day was reduced to an orderly and intelligent
silence. The six coloured waiters, in their white jackets, paced, cat-footed,
about the table, pretending to arrange where all was beyond betterment.
Absalom, in black and shining pumps posed, superior, here and there where the
lights set off his grandeur. And Grandemont rested in his chair, waiting for
his guests.
He must have drifted
into a dream—and an extravagant one—for he was master of Charleroi and Adèle
was his wife. She was coming out to him now; he could hear her steps; he could
feel her hand upon his shoulder—
"Pardon moi,
M'shi Grande"—it was Absalom's hand touching him, it was Absalom's voice,
speaking the patois of the blacks—"but it is eight
o'clock."
Eight o'clock.
Grandemont sprang up. In the moonlight he could see the row of hitching-posts
outside the gate. Long ago the horses of the guests should have stood there.
They were vacant.
A chanted roar of
indignation, a just, waxing bellow of affront and dishonoured genius came from
André's kitchen, filling the house with rhythmic protest. The beautiful dinner,
the pearl of a dinner, the little excellent superb jewel of a dinner! But one moment
more of waiting and not even the thousand thunders of black pigs of the quarter
would touch it!
"They are a little
late," said Grandemont, calmly. "They will come soon. Tell André to
hold back dinner. And ask him if, by some chance, a bull from the pastures has
broken, roaring, into the house."
He seated himself again
to his cigarettes. Though he had said it, he scarcely believed Charleroi would
entertain company that night. For the first time in history the invitation of a
Charles had been ignored. So simple in courtesy and honour was Grandemont, and,
perhaps, so serenely confident in the prestige of his name, that the most
likely reasons for the vacant board did not occur to him.
Charleroi stood by a
road travelled daily by people from those plantations whither his invitations
had gone. No doubt even on the day before the sudden reanimation of the old
house they had driven past and observed the evidences of long desertion and
decay. They had looked at the corpse of Charleroi and then at Grandemont's invitations,
and, though the puzzle or tasteless hoax or whatever the thing meant left them
perplexed, they would not seek its solution by the folly of a visit to that
deserted house.
The moon was now above
the grove, and the yard was pied with deep shadows save where they lightened in
the tender glow of outpouring candle light. A crisp breeze from the river
hinted at the possibility of frost when the night should have become older. The
grass at one side of the steps was specked with the white stubs of Grandemont's
cigarettes. The cotton-broker's clerk sat in his chair with the smoke
spiralling above him. I doubt that he once thought of the little fortune he had
so impotently squandered. Perhaps it was compensation enough for him to sit
thus at Charleroi for a few retrieved hours. Idly his mind wandered in and out
many fanciful paths of memory. He smiled to himself as a paraphrased line of
Scripture strayed into his mind: "A certain poor man made
a feast."
He heard the sound of
Absalom coughing a note of summons. Grandemont stirred. This time he had not
been asleep—only drowsing.
"Nine
o'clock, M'shi Grande," said Absalom in the uninflected voice
of a good servant who states a fact unqualified by personal opinion.
Grandemont rose to his
feet. In their time all the Charleses had been proven, and they were gallant
losers.
"Serve
dinner," he said calmly. And then he checked Absalom's movement to obey,
for something clicked the gate latch and was coming down the walk toward the
house. Something that shuffled its feet and muttered to itself as it came. It
stopped in the current of light at the foot of the steps and spake, in the
universal whine of the gadding mendicant.
"Kind sir, could
you spare a poor, hungry man, out of luck, a little to eat? And to sleep in the
corner of a shed? For"—the thing concluded, irrelevantly—"I can sleep
now. There are no mountains to dance reels in the night; and the copper kettles
are all scoured bright. The iron band is still around my ankle, and a link, if
it is your desire I should be chained."
It set a foot upon the
step and drew up the rags that hung upon the limb. Above the distorted shoe,
caked with the dust of a hundred leagues, they saw the link and the iron band.
The clothes of the tramp were wreaked to piebald tatters by sun and rain and
wear. A mat of brown, tangled hair and beard covered his head and face, out of
which his eyes stared distractedly. Grandemont noticed that he carried in one
hand a white, square card.
"What is
that?" he asked.
"I picked it up,
sir, at the side of the road." The vagabond handed the card to Grandemont.
"Just a little to eat, sir. A little parched corn, a tartilla,
or a handful of beans. Goat's meat I cannot eat. When I cut their throats they
cry like children."
Grandemont held up the
card. It was one of his own invitations to dinner. No doubt some one had cast
it away from a passing carriage after comparing it with the tenantless house of
Charleroi.
"From the hedges
and highways bid them come," he said to himself, softly smiling. And then
to Absalom: "Send Louis to me."
Louis, once his own
body-servant, came promptly, in his white jacket.
"This
gentleman," said Grandemont, "will dine with me. Furnish him with
bath and clothes. In twenty minutes have him ready and dinner served."
Louis approached the disreputable
guest with the suavity due to a visitor to Charleroi, and spirited him away to
inner regions.
Promptly, in twenty
minutes, Absalom announced dinner, and, a moment later, the guest was ushered
into the dining hall where Grandemont waited, standing, at the head of the
table. The attentions of Louis had transformed the stranger into something
resembling the polite animal. Clean linen and an old evening suit that had been
sent down from town to clothe a waiter had worked a miracle with his exterior. Brush
and comb had partially subdued the wild disorder of his hair. Now he might have
passed for no more extravagant a thing than one of those poseurs in
art and music who affect such oddity of guise. The man's countenance and
demeanour, as he approached the table, exhibited nothing of the awkwardness or
confusion to be expected from his Arabian Nights change. He allowed Absalom to
seat him at Grandemont's right hand with the manner of one thus accustomed to
be waited upon.
"It grieves
me," said Grandemont, "to be obliged to exchange names with a guest.
My own name is Charles."
"In the
mountains," said the wayfarer, "they call me Gringo. Along the roads
they call me Jack."
"I prefer the
latter," said Grandemont. "A glass of wine with you, Mr. Jack."
Course after course was
served by the supernumerous waiters. Grandemont, inspired by the results of
André's exquisite skill in cookery and his own in the selection of wines became
the model host, talkative, witty, and genial. The guest was fitful in
conversation. His mind seemed to be sustaining a succession of waves of
dementia followed by intervals of comparative lucidity. There was the glassy
brightness of recent fever in his eyes. A long course of it must have been the
cause of his emaciation and weakness, his distracted mind, and the dull pallor
that showed even through the tan of wind and sun.
"Charles," he
said to Grandemont—for thus he seemed to interpret his name—"you never saw
the mountains dance, did you?"
"No, Mr.
Jack," answered Grandemont, gravely, "the spectacle has been denied
me. But, I assure you, I can understand it must be a diverting sight. The big
ones, you know, white with snow on the tops, waltzing—décolleté, we may
say."
"You first scour
the kettles," said Mr. Jack, leaning toward him excitedly, "to cook
the beans in the morning, and you lie down on a blanket and keep quite still.
Then they come out and dance for you. You would go out and dance with them but
you are chained every night to the centre pole of the hut. You believe the mountains
dance, don't you, Charlie?"
"I contradict no
traveller's tales," said Grandemont, with a smile.
Mr. Jack laughed loudly.
He dropped his voice to a confidential whisper.
"You are a fool to
believe it," he went on. "They don't really dance. It's the fever in your
head. It's the hard work and the bad water that does it. You are sick for weeks
and there is no medicine. The fever comes on every evening, and then you are as
strong as two men. One night the compania are lying drunk
with mescal. They have brought back sacks of silver dollars from a
ride, and they drink to celebrate. In the night you file the chain in two and
go down the mountain. You walk for miles—hundreds of them. By and by the
mountains are all gone, and you come to the prairies. They do not dance at
night; they are merciful, and you sleep. Then you come to the river, and it
says things to you. You follow it down, down, but you can't find what you are
looking for."
Mr. Jack leaned back in
his chair, and his eyes slowly closed. The food and wine had steeped him in a
deep calm. The tense strain had been smoothed from his face. The languor of
repletion was claiming him. Drowsily he spoke again.
"It's bad manners—I
know—to go to sleep—at table—but—that was—such a good dinner—Grande, old
fellow."
Grande! The owner of the name started and set down
his glass. How should this wretched tatterdemalion whom he had invited,
Caliph-like, to sit at his feet know his name?
Not at first, but soon,
little by little, the suspicion, wild and unreasonable as it was, stole into
his brain. He drew out his watch with hands that almost balked him by their
trembling, and opened the back case. There was a picture there—a photograph
fixed to the inner side.
Rising, Grandemont shook
Mr. Jack by the shoulder. The weary guest opened his eyes. Grandemont held the
watch.
"Look at this
picture, Mr. Jack. Have you ever—"
"My sister Adèle!"
The vagrant's voice rang
loud and sudden through the room. He started to his feet, but Grandemont's arms
were about him, and Grandemont was calling him "Victor!—Victor
Fauquier! Merci, merci, mon Dieu!"
Too far overcome by
sleep and fatigue was the lost one to talk that night. Days afterward, when the
tropic calentura had cooled in his veins, the disordered
fragments he had spoken were completed in shape and sequence. He told the story
of his angry flight, of toils and calamities on sea and shore, of his ebbing
and flowing fortune in southern lands, and of his latest peril when, held a
captive, he served menially in a stronghold of bandits in the Sonora Mountains
of Mexico. And of the fever that seized him there and his escape and delirium,
during which he strayed, perhaps led by some marvellous instinct, back to the
river on whose bank he had been born. And of the proud and stubborn thing in
his blood that had kept him silent through all those years, clouding the honour
of one, though he knew it not, and keeping apart two loving hearts. "What
a thing is love!" you may say. And if I grant it, you shall say, with me:
"What a thing is pride!"
On a couch in the
reception chamber Victor lay, with a dawning understanding in his heavy eyes
and peace in his softened countenance. Absalom was preparing a lounge for the
transient master of Charleroi, who, to-morrow, would be again the clerk of a
cotton-broker, but also—
"To-morrow,"
Grandemont was saying, as he stood by the couch of his guest, speaking the
words with his face shining as must have shone the face of Elijah's charioteer
when he announced the glories of that heavenly journey—"To-morrow I will
take you to Her."
XVIII.ON BEHALF OF THE MANAGEMENT
This is the story of the
man manager, and how he held his own until the very last paragraph.
I had it from Sully
Magoon, viva voce. The words are indeed his; and if they do not
constitute truthful fiction my memory should be taxed with the blame.
It is not deemed amiss
to point out, in the beginning, the stress that is laid upon the masculinity of
the manager. For, according to Sully, the term when applied to the feminine
division of mankind has precisely an opposite meaning. The woman manager (he
says) economizes, saves, oppresses her household with bargains and
contrivances, and looks sourly upon any pence that are cast to the fiddler for
even a single jig-step on life's arid march. Wherefore her men-folk call her
blessed, and praise her; and then sneak out the backdoor to see the Gilhooly
Sisters do a buck-and-wing dance.
Now, the man manager (I
still quote Sully) is a Cæsar without a Brutus. He is an autocrat without
responsibility, a player who imperils no stake of his own. His office is to
enact, to reverberate, to boom, to expand, to out-coruscate—profitably, if he
can. Bill-paying and growing gray hairs over results belong to his principals.
It is his to guide the risk, to be the Apotheosis of Front, the three-tailed
Bashaw of Bluff, the Essential Oil of Razzle-Dazzle.
We sat at luncheon, and
Sully Magoon told me. I asked for particulars.
"My old friend
Denver Galloway was a born manager," said Sully. He first saw the light of
day in New York at three years of age. He was born in Pittsburg, but his
parents moved East the third summer afterward.
"When Denver grew
up, he went into the managing business. At the age of eight he managed a
news-stand for the Dago that owned it. After that he was manager at different
times of a skating-rink, a livery-stable, a policy game, a restaurant, a
dancing academy, a walking match, a burlesque company, a dry-goods store, a
dozen hotels and summer resorts, an insurance company, and a district leader's
campaign. That campaign, when Coughlin was elected on the East Side, gave
Denver a boost. It got him a job as manager of a Broadway hotel, and for a
while he managed Senator O'Grady's campaign in the nineteenth.
"Denver was a New
Yorker all over. I think he was out of the city just twice before the time I'm
going to tell you about. Once he went rabbit-shooting in Yonkers. The other
time I met him just landing from a North River ferry. 'Been out West on a big
trip, Sully, old boy,' says he. 'Gad! Sully, I had no idea we had such a big
country. It's immense. Never conceived of the magnificence of the West before.
It's gorgeous and glorious and infinite. Makes the East seemed cramped and
little. It's a grand thing to travel and get an idea of the extent and
resources of our country.'
"I'd made several
little runs out to California and down to Mexico and up through Alaska, so I
sits down with Denver for a chat about the things he saw.
"'Took in the
Yosemite, out there, of course?' I asks.
"'Well—no,' says
Denver, 'I don't think so. At least, I don't recollect it. You see, I only had
three days, and I didn't get any farther west than Youngstown, Ohio.'
"About two years
ago I dropped into New York with a little fly-paper proposition about a
Tennessee mica mine that I wanted to spread out in a nice, sunny window, in the
hopes of catching a few. I was coming out of a printing-shop one afternoon with
a batch of fine, sticky prospectuses when I ran against Denver coming round a
corner. I never saw him looking so much like a tiger-lily. He was as beautiful
and new as a trellis of sweet peas, and as rollicking as a clarinet solo. We
shook hands, and he asked me what I was doing, and I gave him the outlines of
the scandal I was trying to create in mica.
"'Pooh, pooh! for
your mica,' says Denver. 'Don't you know better, Sully, than to bump up against
the coffers of little old New York with anything as transparent as mica? Now,
you come with me over to the Hotel Brunswick. You're just the man I was hoping
for. I've got something there in sepia and curled hair that I want you to look
at.'
"'You putting up at
the Brunswick?' I asks.
"'Not a cent,' says
Denver, cheerful. 'The syndicate that owns the hotel puts up. I'm manager.'
"The Brunswick
wasn't one of them Broadway pot-houses all full of palms and hyphens and
flowers and costumes—kind of a mixture of lawns and laundries. It was on one of
the East Side avenues; but it was a solid, old-time caravansary such as the
Mayor of Skaneateles or the Governor of Missouri might stop at. Eight stories
high it stalked up, with new striped awnings, and the electrics had it as light
as day.
"'I've been manager
here for a year,' says Denver, as we drew nigh. 'When I took charge,' says he,
'nobody nor nothing ever stopped at the Brunswick. The clock over the clerks'
desk used to run for weeks without winding. A man fell dead with heart-disease
on the sidewalk in front of it one day, and when they went to pick him up he
was two blocks away. I figured out a scheme to catch the West Indies and South
American trade. I persuaded the owners to invest a few more thousands, and I
put every cent of it in electric lights, cayenne pepper, gold-leaf, and garlic.
I got a Spanish-speaking force of employees and a string band; and there was
talk going round of a cockfight in the basement every Sunday. Maybe I didn't
catch the nut-brown gang! From Havana to Patagonia the Don Señors knew about
the Brunswick. We get the highfliers from Cuba and Mexico and the couple of
Americas farther south; and they've simply got the boodle to bombard every
bulfinch in the bush with.'
"When we got to the
hotel, Denver stops me at the door.
"'There's a little
liver-coloured man,' says he, 'sitting in a big leather chair to your right,
inside. You sit down and watch him for a few minutes, and then tell me what you
think.'
"I took a chair,
while Denver circulates around in the big rotunda. The room was about full of
curly-headed Cubans and South American brunettes of different shades; and the
atmosphere was international with cigarette smoke, lit up by diamond rings and
edged off with a whisper of garlic.
"That Denver
Galloway was sure a relief to the eye. Six feet two he was, red-headed and
pink-gilled as a sun-perch. And the air he had! Court of Saint James, Chauncy
Olcott, Kentucky colonels, Count of Monte Cristo, grand opera—all these things
he reminded you of when he was doing the honours. When he raised his finger the
hotel porters and bell-boys skated across the floor like cockroaches, and even
the clerk behind the desk looked as meek and unimportant as Andy Carnegie.
"Denver passed
around, shaking hands with his guests, and saying over the two or three Spanish
words he knew until it was like a coronation rehearsal or a Bryan barbecue in
Texas.
"I watched the
little man he told me to. 'Twas a little foreign person in a double-breasted
frock-coat, trying to touch the floor with his toes. He was the colour of vici
kid, and his whiskers was like excelsior made out of mahogany wood. He breathed
hard, and he never once took his eyes off of Denver. There was a look of
admiration and respect on his face like you see on a boy that's following a
champion base-ball team, or the Kaiser William looking at himself in a glass.
"After Denver goes
his rounds he takes me into his private office.
"'What's your
report on the dingy I told you to watch?' he asks.
"'Well,' says I,
'if you was as big a man as he takes you to be, nine rooms and bath in the Hall
of Fame, rent free till October 1st, would be about your size.'
"'You've caught the
idea,' says Denver. 'I've given him the wizard grip and the cabalistic eye. The
glamour that emanates from yours truly has enveloped him like a North River
fog. He seems to think that Señor Galloway is the man who. I guess they don't
raise 74-inch sorrel-tops with romping ways down in his precinct. Now, Sully,'
goes on Denver, 'if you was asked, what would you take the little man to be?'
"'Why,' says I,
'the barber around the corner; or, if he's royal, the king of the boot-blacks.'
"'Never judge by
looks,' says Denver; 'he's the dark-horse candidate for president of a South
American republic.'
"'Well,' says I,
'he didn't look quite that bad to me.'
"Then Denver draws
his chair up close and gives out his scheme.
"'Sully,' says he,
with seriousness and levity, 'I've been a manager of one thing and another for
over twenty years. That's what I was cut out for—to have somebody else to put
up the money and look after the repairs and the police and taxes while I run
the business. I never had a dollar of my own invested in my life. I wouldn't
know how it felt to have the dealer rake in a coin of mine. But I can handle
other people's stuff and manage other people's enterprises. I've had an
ambition to get hold of something big—something higher than hotels and
lumber-yards and local politics. I want to be manager of something way up—like
a railroad or a diamond trust or an automobile factory. Now here comes this
little man from the tropics with just what I want, and he's offered me the
job.'
"'What job?' I
asks. 'Is he going to revive the Georgia Minstrels or open a cigar store?'
"'He's no 'coon,'
says Denver. 'He's General Rompiro—General Josey Alfonso Sapolio Jew-Ann
Rompiro—he has his cards printed by a news-ticker. He's the real thing, Sully,
and he wants me to manage his campaign—he wants Denver C. Galloway for a
president-maker. Think of that, Sully! Old Denver romping down to the tropics,
plucking lotus-flowers and pineapples with one hand and making presidents with
the other! Won't it make Uncle Mark Hanna mad? And I want you to go too, Sully.
You can help me more than any man I know. I've been herding that brown man for
a month in the hotel so he wouldn't stray down Fourteenth Street and get roped
in by that crowd of refugee tamale-eaters down there. And he's landed, and D.
C. G. is manager of General J. A. S. J. Rompiro's presidential campaign in the
great republic of—what's its name?'
"Denver gets down
an atlas from a shelf, and we have a look at the afflicted country. 'Twas a
dark blue one, on the west coast, about the size of a special delivery stamp.
"'From what the
General tells me,' says Denver, 'and from what I can gather from the
encyclopædia and by conversing with the janitor of the Astor Library, it'll be
as easy to handle the vote of that country as it would be for Tammany to get a
man named Geoghan appointed on the White Wings force.'
"'Why don't General
Rumptyro stay at home,' says I, 'and manage his own canvass?'
"'You don't
understand South American politics,' says Denver, getting out the cigars. 'It's
this way. General Rompiro had the misfortune of becoming a popular idol. He
distinguished himself by leading the army in pursuit of a couple of sailors who
had stolen the plaza—or the carramba, or something belonging to the government.
The people called him a hero and the government got jealous. The president
sends for the chief of the Department of Public Edifices. "Find me a nice,
clean adobe wall," says he, "and send Señor Rompiro up against it.
Then call out a file of soldiers and—then let him be up against it."
Something,' goes on Denver, 'like the way they've treated Hobson and Carrie
Nation in our country. So the General had to flee. But he was thoughtful enough
to bring along his roll. He's got sinews of war enough to buy a battleship and
float her off in the christening fluid.'
"'What chance has
he got to be president?'
"'Wasn't I just
giving you his rating?' says Denver. 'His country is one of the few in South
America where the presidents are elected by popular ballot. The General can't
go there just now. It hurts to be shot against a wall. He needs a campaign
manager to go down and whoop things up for him—to get the boys in line and the
new two-dollar bills afloat and the babies kissed and the machine in running
order. Sully, I don't want to brag, but you remember how I brought Coughlin
under the wire for leader of the nineteenth? Ours was the banner district.
Don't you suppose I know how to manage a little monkey-cage of a country like
that? Why, with the dough the General's willing to turn loose I could put two
more coats of Japan varnish on him and have him elected Governor of Georgia.
New York has got the finest lot of campaign managers in the world, Sully, and
you give me a feeling of hauteur when you cast doubts on my ability to handle
the political situation in a country so small that they have to print the names
of the towns in the appendix and footnotes.'
"I argued with
Denver some. I told him that politics down in that tropical atmosphere was
bound to be different from the nineteenth district; but I might just as well
have been a Congressman from North Dakota trying to get an appropriation for a
lighthouse and a coast survey. Denver Galloway had ambitions in the manager
line, and what I said didn't amount to as much as a fig-leaf at the National
Dressmakers' Convention. 'I'll give you three days to cogitate about going,'
says Denver; 'and I'll introduce you to General Rompiro to-morrow, so you can
get his ideas drawn right from the rose wood.'
"I put on my best
reception-to-Booker-Washington manner the next day and tapped the distinguished
rubber-plant for what he knew.
"General Rompiro
wasn't so gloomy inside as he appeared on the surface. He was polite enough;
and he exuded a number of sounds that made a fair stagger at arranging
themselves into language. It was English he aimed at, and when his system of
syntax reached your mind it wasn't past you to understand it. If you took a
college professor's magazine essay and a Chinese laundryman's explanation of a
lost shirt and jumbled 'em together, you'd have about what the General handed
you out for conversation. He told me all about his bleeding country, and what
they were trying to do for it before the doctor came. But he mostly talked of
Denver C. Galloway.
"'Ah, señor,' says
he, 'that is the most fine of mans. Never I have seen one man so magnifico, so
gr-r-rand, so conformable to make done things so swiftly by other mans. He
shall make other mans do the acts and himself to order and regulate, until we
arrive at seeing accomplishments of a suddenly. Oh, yes, señor. In my countree
there is not such mans of so beegness, so good talk, so compliments, so
strongness of sense and such. Ah, that Señor Galloway!'
"'Yes,' says I,
'old Denver is the boy you want. He's managed every kind of business here
except filibustering, and he might as well complete the list.'
"Before the three
days was up I decided to join Denver in his campaign. Denver got three months'
vacation from his hotel owners. For a week we lived in a room with the General,
and got all the pointers about his country that we could interpret from the
noises he made. When we got ready to start, Denver had a pocket full of
memorandums, and letters from the General to his friends, and a list of names
and addresses of loyal politicians who would help along the boom of the exiled
popular idol. Besides these liabilities we carried assets to the amount of
$20,000 in assorted United States currency. General Rompiro looked like a burnt
effigy, but he was Br'er Fox himself when it came to the real science of
politics.
"'Here is moneys,'
says the General, 'of a small amount. There is more with me—moocho more.
Plentee moneys shall you be supplied, Señor Galloway. More I shall send you at
all times that you need. I shall desire to pay feefty—one hundred thousand
pesos, if necessario, to be elect. How no? Sacramento! If that I am president
and do not make one meelion dolla in the one year you shall keek me on that
side!—valgame Dios!'
"Denver got a Cuban
cigar-maker to fix up a little cipher code with English and Spanish words, and
gave the General a copy, so we could cable him bulletins about the election, or
for more money, and then we were ready to start. General Rompiro escorted us to
the steamer. On the pier he hugged Denver around the waist and sobbed. 'Noble
mans,' says he, 'General Rompiro propels you into his confidence and trust. Go,
in the hands of the saints to do the work for your friend. Viva la
libertad!'
"'Sure,' says
Denver. 'And viva la liberality an' la soaperino and hoch der land of the lotus
and the vote us. Don't worry, General. We'll have you elected as sure as
bananas grow upside down.'
"'Make pictures on
me,' pleads the General—'make pictures on me for money as it is needful.'
"'Does he want to
be tattooed, would you think?' asks Denver, wrinkling up his eyes.
"'Stupid!' says I.
'He wants you to draw on him for election expenses. It'll be worse than
tattooing. More like an autopsy.'
"Me and Denver
steamed down to Panama, and then hiked across the Isthmus, and then by steamer
again down to the town of Espiritu on the coast of the General's country.
"That was a town to
send J. Howard Payne to the growler. I'll tell you how you could make one like
it. Take a lot of Filipino huts and a couple of hundred brick-kilns and arrange
'em in squares in a cemetery. Cart down all the conservatory plants in the
Astor and Vanderbilt greenhouses, and stick 'em about wherever there's room.
Turn all the Bellevue patients and the barbers' convention and the Tuskegee
school loose in the streets, and run the thermometer up to 120 in the shade.
Set a fringe of the Rocky Mountains around the rear, let it rain, and set the
whole business on Rockaway Beach in the middle of January—and you'd have a good
imitation of Espiritu.
"It took me and
Denver about a week to get acclimated. Denver sent out the letters the General
had given him, and notified the rest of the gang that there was something doing
at the captain's office. We set up headquarters in an old 'dobe house on a side
street where the grass was waist high. The election was only four weeks off;
but there wasn't any excitement. The home candidate for president was named
Roadrickeys. This town of Esperitu wasn't the capital any more than Cleveland,
Ohio, is the capital of the United States, but it was the political centre
where they cooked up revolutions, and made up the slates.
"At the end of the
week Denver says the machine is started running.
"'Sully,' says he,
'we've got a walkover. Just because General Rompiro ain't Don Juan-on-the-spot
the other crowd ain't at work. They're as full of apathy as a territorial
delegate during the chaplain's prayer. Now, we want to introduce a little hot
stuff in the way of campaigning, and we'll surprise 'em at the polls.'
"'How are you going
to go about it?' I asks.
"'Why, the usual
way,' says Denver, surprised. 'We'll get the orators on our side out every
night to make speeches in the native lingo, and have torch-light parades under
the shade of the palms, and free drinks, and buy up all the brass bands, of
course, and—well, I'll turn the baby-kissing over to you, Sully—I've seen a lot
of 'em.'
"'What else?' says
I.
"'Why, you know,'
says Denver. 'We get the heelers out with the crackly two-spots, and
coal-tickets, and orders for groceries, and have a couple of picnics out under
the banyan-trees, and dances in the Firemen's Hall—and the usual things. But
first of all, Sully, I'm going to have the biggest clam-bake down on the beach
that was ever seen south of the tropic of Capricorn. I figured that out from
the start. We'll stuff the whole town and the jungle folk for miles around with
clams. That's the first thing on the programme. Suppose you go out now, and
make the arrangements for that. I want to look over the estimates the General
made of the vote in the coast districts.'
"I had learned some
Spanish in Mexico, so I goes out, as Denver says, and in fifteen minutes I come
back to headquarters.
"'If there ever was
a clam in this country nobody ever saw it,' I says.
"'Great
sky-rockets!' says Denver, with his mouth and eyes open. 'No clams? How in
the—who ever saw a country without clams? What kind of a—how's an election to
be pulled off without a clam-bake, I'd like to know? Are you sure there's no
clams, Sully?'
"'Not even a can,'
says I.
"'Then for God's
sake go out and try to find what the people here do eat. We've got to fill 'em
up with grub of some kind.'
"I went out again.
Denver was manager. In half an hour I gets back.
"'They eat,' says
I, 'tortillas, cassava, carne de chivo, arroz con pollo, aquacates, zapates,
yucca, and huevos fritos.'
"'A man that would
eat them things,' says Denver, getting a little mad, 'ought to have his vote
challenged.'
"In a few more days
the campaign managers from the other towns came sliding into Esperitu. Our
headquarters was a busy place. We had an interpreter, and ice-water, and drinks,
and cigars, and Denver flashed the General's roll so often that it got so small
you couldn't have bought a Republican vote in Ohio with it.
"And then Denver
cabled to General Rompiro for ten thousand dollars more and got it.
"There were a
number of Americans in Esperitu, but they were all in business or grafts of
some kind, and wouldn't take any hand in politics, which was sensible enough.
But they showed me and Denver a fine time, and fixed us up so we could get
decent things to eat and drink. There was one American, named Hicks, used to
come and loaf at the headquarters. Hicks had had fourteen years of Esperitu. He
was six feet four and weighed in at 135. Cocoa was his line; and coast fever
and the climate had taken all the life out of him. They said he hadn't smiled
in eight years. His face was three feet long, and it never moved except when he
opened it to take quinine. He used to sit in our headquarters and kill fleas
and talk sarcastic.
"'I don't take much
interest in politics,' says Hicks, one day, 'but I'd like you to tell me what
you're trying to do down here, Galloway?'
"'We're boosting
General Rompiro, of course,' says Denver. 'We're going to put him in the
presidential chair. I'm his manager.'
"'Well,' says
Hicks, 'if I was you I'd be a little slower about it. You've got a long time
ahead of you, you know.'
"'Not any longer
than I need,' says Denver.
"Denver went ahead
and worked things smooth. He dealt out money on the quiet to his lieutenants,
and they were always coming after it. There was free drinks for everybody in
town, and bands playing every night, and fireworks, and there was a lot of
heelers going around buying up votes day and night for the new style of
politics in Espiritu, and everybody liked it.
"The day set for
the election was November 4th. On the night before Denver and me were smoking
our pipes in headquarters, and in comes Hicks and unjoints himself, and sits in
a chair, mournful. Denver is cheerful and confident. 'Rompiro will win in a
romp,' says he. 'We'll carry the country by 10,000. It's all over but the
vivas. To-morrow will tell the tale.'
"'What's going to
happen to-morrow?' asks Hicks.
"'Why, the
presidential election, of course,' says Denver.
"'Say,' says Hicks,
looking kind of funny, 'didn't anybody tell you fellows that the election was
held a week before you came? Congress changed the date to July 27th.
Roadrickeys was elected by 17,000. I thought you was booming old Rompiro for
next term, two years from now. Wondered if you was going to keep up such a hot
lick that long.'
"I dropped my pipe
on the floor. Denver bit the stem off of his. Neither of us said anything.
"And then I heard a
sound like somebody ripping a clapboard off of a barn-roof. 'Twas Hicks
laughing for the first time in eight years."
Sully Magoon paused
while the waiter poured us a black coffee.
"Your friend was,
indeed, something of a manager," I said.
"Wait a
minute," said Sully, "I haven't given you any idea of what he could
do yet. That's all to come.
"When we got back
to New York there was General Rompiro waiting for us on the pier. He was
dancing like a cinnamon bear, all impatient for the news, for Denver had just
cabled him when we would arrive and nothing more.
"'Am I elect?' he
shouts. 'Am I elect, friend of mine? Is that mine country have demand General
Rompiro for the president? The last dollar of mine have I sent you that last
time. It is necessario that I am elect. I have not more money. Am I elect,
Señor Galloway?'
"Denver turns to
me.
"'Leave me with old
Rompey, Sully,' he says. 'I've got to break it to him gently. 'Twould be
indecent for other eyes to witness the operation. This is the time, Sully,'
says he, 'when old Denver has got to make good as a jollier and a
silver-tongued sorcerer, or else give up all the medals he's earned.'
"A couple of days
later I went around to the hotel. There was Denver in his old place, looking
like the hero of two historical novels, and telling 'em what a fine time he'd
had down on his orange plantation in Florida.
"'Did you fix
things up with the General?' I asks him.
"'Did I?' says
Denver. 'Come and see.'
"He takes me by the
arm and walks me to the dining-room door. There was a little chocolate-brown
fat man in a dress suit, with his face shining with joy as he swelled himself
and skipped about the floor. Danged if Denver hadn't made General Rompiro head
waiter of the Hotel Brunswick!"
"Is Mr. Galloway
still in the managing business?" I asked, as Mr. Magoon ceased.
Sully shook his head.
"Denver married an
auburn-haired widow that owns a big hotel in Harlem. He just helps around the
place."
XIX.WHISTLING DICK'S CHRISTMAS STOCKING
It was with much caution
that Whistling Dick slid back the door of the box-car, for Article 5716, City
Ordinances, authorized (perhaps unconstitutionally) arrest on suspicion, and he
was familiar of old with this ordinance. So, before climbing out, he surveyed
the field with all the care of a good general.
He saw no change since
his last visit to this big, alms-giving, long-suffering city of the South, the
cold weather paradise of the tramps. The levee where his freight-car stood was
pimpled with dark bulks of merchandise. The breeze reeked with the
well-remembered, sickening smell of the old tarpaulins that covered bales and
barrels. The dun river slipped along among the shipping with an oily gurgle.
Far down toward Chalmette he could see the great bend in the stream, outlined
by the row of electric lights. Across the river Algiers lay, a long, irregular
blot, made darker by the dawn which lightened the sky beyond. An industrious tug
or two, coming for some early sailing ship, gave a few appalling toots, that
seemed to be the signal for breaking day. The Italian luggers were creeping
nearer their landing, laden with early vegetables and shellfish. A vague roar,
subterranean in quality, from dray wheels and street cars, began to make itself
heard and felt; and the ferryboats, the Mary Anns of water craft, stirred
sullenly to their menial morning tasks.
Whistling Dick's red
head popped suddenly back into the car. A sight too imposing and magnificent
for his gaze had been added to the scene. A vast, incomparable policeman
rounded a pile of rice sacks and stood within twenty yards of the car. The
daily miracle of the dawn, now being performed above Algiers, received the
flattering attention of this specimen of municipal official splendour. He gazed
with unbiased dignity at the faintly glowing colours until, at last, he turned
to them his broad back, as if convinced that legal interference was not needed,
and the sunrise might proceed unchecked. So he turned his face to the rice
bags, and, drawing a flat flask from an inside pocket, he placed it to his lips
and regarded the firmament.
Whistling Dick,
professional tramp, possessed a half-friendly acquaintance with this officer.
They had met several times before on the levee at night, for the officer,
himself a lover of music, had been attracted by the exquisite whistling of the
shiftless vagabond. Still, he did not care, under the present circumstances, to
renew the acquaintance. There is a difference between meeting a policeman on a
lonely wharf and whistling a few operatic airs with him, and being caught by
him crawling out of a freight-car. So Dick waited, as even a New Orleans
policeman must move on some time—perhaps it is a retributive law of nature—and
before long "Big Fritz" majestically disappeared between the trains
of cars.
Whistling Dick waited as
long as his judgment advised, and then slid swiftly to the ground. Assuming as
far as possible the air of an honest labourer who seeks his daily toil, he
moved across the network of railway lines, with the intention of making his way
by quiet Girod Street to a certain bench in Lafayette Square, where, according
to appointment, he hoped to rejoin a pal known as "Slick," this adventurous
pilgrim having preceded him by one day in a cattle-car into which a loose slat
had enticed him.
As Whistling Dick picked
his way where night still lingered among the big, reeking, musty warehouses, he
gave way to the habit that had won for him his title. Subdued, yet clear, with
each note as true and liquid as a bobolink's, his whistle tinkled about the
dim, cold mountains of brick like drops of rain falling into a hidden pool. He
followed an air, but it swam mistily into a swirling current of improvisation.
You could cull out the trill of mountain brooks, the staccato of green rushes
shivering above chilly lagoons, the pipe of sleepy birds.
Rounding a corner, the
whistler collided with a mountain of blue and brass.
"So," observed
the mountain calmly, "You are already pack. Und dere vill not pe frost
before two veeks yet! Und you haf forgotten how to vistle. Dere was a valse
note in dot last bar."
"Watcher know about
it?" said Whistling Dick, with tentative familiarity; "you wit yer
little Gherman-band nixcumrous chunes. Watcher know about music? Pick yer ears,
and listen agin. Here's de way I whistled it—see?"
He puckered his lips,
but the big policeman held up his hand.
"Shtop," he
said, "und learn der right way. Und learn also dot a rolling shtone can't
vistle for a cent."
Big Fritz's heavy
moustache rounded into a circle, and from its depths came a sound deep and
mellow as that from a flute. He repeated a few bars of the air the tramp had
been whistling. The rendition was cold, but correct, and he emphasized the note
he had taken exception to.
"Dot p is p
natural, und not p vlat. Py der vay, you petter pe glad I meet you. Von hour
later, und I vould half to put you in a gage to vistle mit der chail pirds. Der
orders are to bull all der pums after sunrise."
"To which?"
"To bull der
pums—eferybody mitout fisible means. Dirty days is der price, or fifteen
tollars."
"Is dat straight,
or a game you givin' me?"
"It's der pest tip
you efer had. I gif it to you pecause I pelief you are not so bad as der rest.
Und pecause you gan visl 'Der Freischütz' bezzer dan I myself gan. Don't run
against any more bolicemans aroundt der corners, but go away from town a few
tays. Good-pye."
So Madame Orleans had at
last grown weary of the strange and ruffled brood that came yearly to nestle
beneath her charitable pinions.
After the big policeman
had departed, Whistling Dick stood for an irresolute minute, feeling all the
outraged indignation of a delinquent tenant who is ordered to vacate his
premises. He had pictured to himself a day of dreamful ease when he should have
joined his pal; a day of lounging on the wharf, munching the bananas and
cocoanuts scattered in unloading the fruit steamers; and then a feast along the
free-lunch counters from which the easy-going owners were too good-natured or
too generous to drive him away, and afterward a pipe in one of the little
flowery parks and a snooze in some shady corner of the wharf. But here was a
stern order to exile, and one that he knew must be obeyed. So, with a wary eye
open for the gleam of brass buttons, he began his retreat toward a rural
refuge. A few days in the country need not necessarily prove disastrous. Beyond
the possibility of a slight nip of frost, there was no formidable evil to be
looked for.
However, it was with a
depressed spirit that Whistling Dick passed the old French market on his chosen
route down the river. For safety's sake he still presented to the world his
portrayal of the part of the worthy artisan on his way to labour. A
stall-keeper in the market, undeceived, hailed him by the generic name of his
ilk, and "Jack" halted, taken by surprise. The vender, melted by this
proof of his own acuteness, bestowed a foot of Frankfurter and half a loaf, and
thus the problem of breakfast was solved.
When the streets, from
topographical reasons, began to shun the river bank the exile mounted to the
top of the levee, and on its well-trodden path pursued his way. The suburban
eye regarded him with cold suspicion, individuals reflected the stern spirit of
the city's heartless edict. He missed the seclusion of the crowded town and the
safety he could always find in the multitude.
At Chalmette, six miles
upon his desultory way, there suddenly menaced him a vast and bewildering
industry. A new port was being established; the dock was being built,
compresses were going up; picks and shovels and barrows struck at him like
serpents from every side. An arrogant foreman bore down upon him, estimating
his muscles with the eye of a recruiting-sergeant. Brown men and black men all
about him were toiling away. He fled in terror.
By noon he had reached
the country of the plantations, the great, sad, silent levels bordering the
mighty river. He overlooked fields of sugar-cane so vast that their farthest
limits melted into the sky. The sugar-making season was well advanced, and the
cutters were at work; the waggons creaked drearily after them; the Negro
teamsters inspired the mules to greater speed with mellow and sonorous
imprecations. Dark-green groves, blurred by the blue of distance, showed where
the plantation-houses stood. The tall chimneys of the sugar-mills caught the
eye miles distant, like lighthouses at sea.
At a certain point
Whistling Dick's unerring nose caught the scent of frying fish. Like a pointer
to a quail, he made his way down the levee side straight to the camp of a
credulous and ancient fisherman, whom he charmed with song and story, so that
he dined like an admiral, and then like a philosopher annihilated the worst
three hours of the day by a nap under the trees.
When he awoke and again
continued his hegira, a frosty sparkle in the air had succeeded the drowsy
warmth of the day, and as this portent of a chilly night translated itself to
the brain of Sir Peregrine, he lengthened his stride and bethought him of
shelter. He travelled a road that faithfully followed the convolutions of the
levee, running along its base, but whither he knew not. Bushes and rank grass
crowded it to the wheel ruts, and out of this ambuscade the pests of the
lowlands swarmed after him, humming a keen, vicious soprano. And as the night
grew nearer, although colder, the whine of the mosquitoes became a greedy,
petulant snarl that shut out all other sounds. To his right, against the
heavens, he saw a green light moving, and, accompanying it, the masts and funnels
of a big incoming steamer, moving as upon a screen at a magic-lantern show. And
there were mysterious marshes at his left, out of which came queer gurgling
cries and a choked croaking. The whistling vagrant struck up a merry warble to
offset these melancholy influences, and it is likely that never before, since
Pan himself jigged it on his reeds, had such sounds been heard in those
depressing solitudes.
A distant clatter in the
rear quickly developed into the swift beat of horses' hoofs, and Whistling Dick
stepped aside into the dew-wet grass to clear the track. Turning his head, he
saw approaching a fine team of stylish grays drawing a double surrey. A stout
man with a white moustache occupied the front seat, giving all his attention to
the rigid lines in his hands. Behind him sat a placid, middle-aged lady and a
brilliant-looking girl hardly arrived at young ladyhood. The lap-robe had
slipped partly from the knees of the gentleman driving, and Whistling Dick saw
two stout canvas bags between his feet—bags such as, while loafing in cities,
he had seen warily transferred between express waggons and bank doors. The
remaining space in the vehicle was filled with parcels of various sizes and
shapes.
As the surrey swept even
with the sidetracked tramp, the bright-eyed girl, seized by some merry, madcap
impulse, leaned out toward him with a sweet, dazzling smile, and cried,
"Mer-ry Christ-mas!" in a shrill, plaintive treble.
Such a thing had not
often happened to Whistling Dick, and he felt handicapped in devising the
correct response. But lacking time for reflection, he let his instinct decide,
and snatching off his battered derby, he rapidly extended it at arm's length,
and drew it back with a continuous motion, and shouted a loud, but ceremonious,
"Ah, there!" after the flying surrey.
The sudden movement of
the girl had caused one of the parcels to become unwrapped, and something limp
and black fell from it into the road. The tramp picked it up, and found it to
be a new black silk stocking, long and fine and slender. It crunched crisply,
and yet with a luxurious softness, between his fingers.
"Ther bloomin'
little skeezicks!" said Whistling Dick, with a broad grin bisecting his
freckled face. "W'ot d' yer think of dat, now! Mer-ry Chris-mus! Sounded
like a cuckoo clock, da'ts what she did. Dem guys is swells, too, bet yer life,
an' der old 'un stacks dem sacks of dough down under his trotters like dey was
common as dried apples. Been shoppin' for Chrismus, and de kid's lost one of
her new socks w'ot she was goin' to hold up Santy wid. De bloomin' little
skeezicks! Wit' her 'Mer-ry Chris-mus!' W'ot d' yer t'ink! Same as to say,
'Hello, Jack, how goes it?' and as swell as Fift' Av'noo, and as easy as a
blowout in Cincinnat."
Whistling Dick folded
the stocking carefully, and stuffed it into his pocket.
It was nearly two hours
later when he came upon signs of habitation. The buildings of an extensive
plantation were brought into view by a turn in the road. He easily selected the
planter's residence in a large square building with two wings, with numerous
good-sized, well-lighted windows, and broad verandas running around its full
extent. It was set upon a smooth lawn, which was faintly lit by the
far-reaching rays of the lamps within. A noble grove surrounded it, and
old-fashioned shrubbery grew thickly about the walks and fences. The quarters
of the hands and the mill buildings were situated at a distance in the rear.
The road was now
enclosed on each side by a fence, and presently, as Whistling Dick drew nearer
the house, he suddenly stopped and sniffed the air.
"If dere ain't a
hobo stew cookin' somewhere in dis immediate precinct," he said to
himself, "me nose has quit tellin' de trut'."
Without hesitation he
climbed the fence to windward. He found himself in an apparently disused lot,
where piles of old bricks were stacked, and rejected, decaying lumber. In a
corner he saw the faint glow of a fire that had become little more than a bed
of living coals, and he thought he could see some dim human forms sitting or lying
about it. He drew nearer, and by the light of a little blaze that suddenly
flared up he saw plainly the fat figure of a ragged man in an old brown sweater
and cap.
"Dat man,"
said Whistling Dick to himself softly, "is a dead ringer for Boston Harry.
I'll try him wit de high sign."
He whistled one or two
bars of a rag-time melody, and the air was immediately taken up, and then
quickly ended with a peculiar run. The first whistler walked confidently up to
the fire. The fat man looked up, and spake in a loud, asthmatic wheeze:
"Gents, the
unexpected but welcome addition to our circle is Mr. Whistling Dick, an old
friend of mine for whom I fully vouches. The waiter will lay another cover at
once. Mr. W. D. will join us at supper, during which function he will enlighten
us in regard to the circumstances that gave us the pleasure of his
company."
"Chewin' de
stuffin' out 'n de dictionary, as usual, Boston," said Whistling Dick;
"but t'anks all de same for de invitashun. I guess I finds meself here
about de same way as yous guys. A cop gimme de tip dis mornin'. Yous workin' on
dis farm?"
"A guest,"
said Boston, sternly, "shouldn't never insult his entertainers until he's
filled up wid grub. 'Tain't good business sense. Workin'!—but I will restrain
myself. We five—me, Deaf Pete, Blinky, Goggles, and Indiana Tom—got put on to
this scheme of Noo Orleans to work visiting gentlemen upon her dirty streets,
and we hit the road last evening just as the tender hues of twilight had
flopped down upon the daisies and things. Blinky, pass the empty oyster-can at
your left to the empty gentleman at your right."
For the next ten minutes
the gang of roadsters paid their undivided attention to the supper. In an old
five-gallon kerosene can they had cooked a stew of potatoes, meat, and onions,
which they partook of from smaller cans they had found scattered about the
vacant lot.
Whistling Dick had known
Boston Harry of old, and knew him to be one of the shrewdest and most
successful of his brotherhood. He looked like a prosperous stock-drover or
solid merchant from some country village. He was stout and hale, with a ruddy,
always smoothly shaven face. His clothes were strong and neat, and he gave
special attention to his decent-appearing shoes. During the past ten years he
had acquired a reputation for working a larger number of successfully managed
confidence games than any of his acquaintances, and he had not a day's work to
be counted against him. It was rumoured among his associates that he had saved
a considerable amount of money. The four other men were fair specimens of the
slinking, ill-clad, noisome genus who carried their labels of
"suspicious" in plain view.
After the bottom of the
large can had been scraped, and pipes lit at the coals, two of the men called
Boston aside and spake with him lowly and mysteriously. He nodded decisively,
and then said aloud to Whistling Dick:
"Listen, sonny, to
some plain talky-talk. We five are on a lay. I've guaranteed you to be square,
and you're to come in on the profits equal with the boys, and you've got to
help. Two hundred hands on this plantation are expecting to be paid a week's
wages to-morrow morning. To-morrow's Christmas, and they want to lay off. Says
the boss: 'Work from five to nine in the morning to get a train load of sugar
off, and I'll pay every man cash down for the week and a day extra.' They say:
'Hooray for the boss! It goes.' He drives to Noo Orleans to-day, and fetches
back the cold dollars. Two thousand and seventy-four fifty is the amount. I got
the figures from a man who talks too much, who got 'em from the bookkeeper. The
boss of this plantation thinks he's going to pay this wealth to the hands. He's
got it down wrong; he's going to pay it to us. It's going to stay in the
leisure class, where it belongs. Now, half of this haul goes to me, and the
other half the rest of you may divide. Why the difference? I represent the
brains. It's my scheme. Here's the way we're going to get it. There's some
company at supper in the house, but they'll leave about nine. They've just happened
in for an hour or so. If they don't go pretty soon, we'll work the scheme
anyhow. We want all night to get away good with the dollars. They're heavy.
About nine o'clock Deaf Pete and Blinky'll go down the road about a quarter
beyond the house, and set fire to a big cane-field there that the cutters
haven't touched yet. The wind's just right to have it roaring in two minutes.
The alarm'll be given, and every man Jack about the place will be down there in
ten minutes, fighting fire. That'll leave the money sacks and the women alone
in the house for us to handle. You've heard cane burn? Well, there's mighty few
women can screech loud enough to be heard above its crackling. The thing's dead
safe. The only danger is in being caught before we can get far enough away with
the money. Now, if you—"
"Boston,"
interrupted Whistling Dick, rising to his feet, "T'anks for the grub yous
fellers has given me, but I'll be movin' on now."
"What do you
mean?" asked Boston, also rising.
"W'y, you can count
me outer dis deal. You oughter know that. I'm on de bum all right enough, but
dat other t'ing don't go wit' me. Burglary is no good. I'll say good night and
many t'anks fer—"
Whistling Dick had moved
away a few steps as he spoke, but he stopped very suddenly. Boston had covered
him with a short revolver of roomy calibre.
"Take your
seat," said the tramp leader. "I'd feel mighty proud of myself if I
let you go and spoil the game. You'll stick right in this camp until we finish
the job. The end of that brick pile is your limit. You go two inches beyond
that, and I'll have to shoot. Better take it easy, now."
"It's my way of
doin'," said Whistling Dick. "Easy goes. You can depress de muzzle of
dat twelve-incher, and run 'er back on de trucks. I remains, as de newspapers
says, 'in yer midst.'"
"All right,"
said Boston, lowering his piece, as the other returned and took his seat again
on a projecting plank in a pile of timber. "Don't try to leave; that's
all. I wouldn't miss this chance even if I had to shoot an old acquaintance to
make it go. I don't want to hurt anybody specially, but this thousand dollars
I'm going to get will fix me for fair. I'm going to drop the road, and start a
saloon in a little town I know about. I'm tired of being kicked around."
Boston Harry took from his
pocket a cheap silver watch, and held it near the fire.
"It's a quarter to
nine," he said. "Pete, you and Blinky start. Go down the road past
the house, and fire the cane in a dozen places. Then strike for the levee, and
come back on it, instead of the road, so you won't meet anybody. By the time
you get back the men will all be striking out for the fire, and we'll break for
the house and collar the dollars. Everybody cough up what matches he's
got."
The two surly tramps
made a collection of all the matches in the party, Whistling Dick contributing
his quota with propitiatory alacrity, and then they departed in the dim
starlight in the direction of the road.
Of the three remaining
vagrants, two, Goggles and Indiana Tom, reclined lazily upon convenient lumber
and regarded Whistling Dick with undisguised disfavour. Boston, observing that
the dissenting recruit was disposed to remain peaceably, relaxed a little of
his vigilance. Whistling Dick arose presently and strolled leisurely up and
down keeping carefully within the territory assigned him.
"Dis planter
chap," he said, pausing before Boston Harry, "w'ot makes yer t'ink
he's got de tin in de house wit' 'im?"
"I'm advised of the
facts in the case," said Boston. "He drove to Noo Orleans and got it,
I say, to-day. Want to change your mind now and come in?"
"Naw, I was just
askin'. Wot kind o' team did de boss drive?"
"Pair of
grays."
"Double
surrey?"
"Yep."
"Women folks
along?"
"Wife and kid. Say,
what morning paper are you trying to pump news for?"
"I was just
conversin' to pass de time away. I guess dat team passed me in de road dis
evenin'. Dat's all."
As Whistling Dick put
his hands in his pockets and continued his curtailed beat up and down by the
fire, he felt the silk stocking he had picked up in the road.
"Ther bloomin'
little skeezicks," he muttered, with a grin.
As he walked up and down
he could see, through a sort of natural opening or lane among the trees, the
planter's residence some seventy-five yards distant. The side of the house
toward him exhibited spacious, well-lighted windows through which a soft
radiance streamed, illuminating the broad veranda and some extent of the lawn
beneath.
"What's that you
said?" asked Boston, sharply.
"Oh, nuttin' 't
all," said Whistling Dick, lounging carelessly, and kicking meditatively
at a little stone on the ground.
"Just as
easy," continued the warbling vagrant softly to himself, "an'
sociable an' swell an' sassy, wit' her 'Mer-ry Chris-mus,' Wot d'yer t'ink,
now!"
Dinner, two hours late,
was being served in the Bellemeade plantation dining-room.
The dining-room and all
its appurtenances spoke of an old regime that was here continued rather than
suggested to the memory. The plate was rich to the extent that its age and
quaintness alone saved it from being showy; there were interesting names signed
in the corners of the pictures on the walls; the viands were of the kind that
bring a shine into the eyes of gourmets. The service was swift, silent, lavish,
as in the days when the waiters were assets like the plate. The names by which
the planter's family and their visitors addressed one another were historic in
the annals of two nations. Their manners and conversation had that most
difficult kind of ease—the kind that still preserves punctilio. The planter
himself seemed to be the dynamo that generated the larger portion of the gaiety
and wit. The younger ones at the board found it more than difficult to turn
back on him his guns of raillery and banter. It is true, the young men
attempted to storm his works repeatedly, incited by the hope of gaining the
approbation of their fair companions; but even when they sped a well-aimed
shaft, the planter forced them to feel defeat by the tremendous discomfiting
thunder of the laughter with which he accompanied his retorts. At the head of
the table, serene, matronly, benevolent, reigned the mistress of the house,
placing here and there the right smile, the right word, the encouraging glance.
The talk of the party
was too desultory, too evanescent to follow, but at last they came to the
subject of the tramp nuisance, one that had of late vexed the plantations for
many miles around. The planter seized the occasion to direct his good-natured
fire of raillery at the mistress, accusing her of encouraging the plague.
"They swarm up and down the river every winter," he said. "They
overrun New Orleans, and we catch the surplus, which is generally the worst
part. And, a day or two ago, Madame New Orleans, suddenly discovering that she
can't go shopping without brushing her skirts against great rows of the
vagabonds sunning themselves on the banquettes, says to the police: 'Catch 'em
all,' and the police catch a dozen or two, and the remaining three or four
thousand overflow up and down the levee, and madame there,"—pointing
tragically with the carving-knife at her—"feeds them. They won't work;
they defy my overseers, and they make friends with my dogs; and you, madame,
feed them before my eyes, and intimidate me when I would interfere. Tell us,
please, how many to-day did you thus incite to future laziness and
depredation?"
"Six, I
think," said madame, with a reflective smile; "but you know two of
them offered to work, for you heard them yourself."
The planter's
disconcerting laugh rang out again.
"Yes, at their own
trades. And one was an artificial-flower maker, and the other a glass-blower.
Oh, they were looking for work! Not a hand would they consent to lift to labour
of any other kind."
"And another
one," continued the soft-hearted mistress, "used quite good language.
It was really extraordinary for one of his class. And he carried a watch. And
had lived in Boston. I don't believe they are all bad. They have always seemed
to me to rather lack development. I always look upon them as children with whom
wisdom has remained at a standstill while whiskers have continued to grow. We
passed one this evening as we were driving home who had a face as good as it
was incompetent. He was whistling the intermezzo from 'Cavalleria' and blowing
the spirit of Mascagni himself into it."
A bright eyed young girl
who sat at the left of the mistress leaned over, and said in a confidential
undertone:
"I wonder, mamma,
if that tramp we passed on the road found my stocking, and do you think he will
hang it up to-night? Now I can hang up but one. Do you know why I wanted a new
pair of silk stockings when I have plenty? Well, old Aunt Judy says, if you
hang up two that have never been worn, Santa Claus will fill one with good
things, and Monsieur Pambe will place in the other payment for all the words
you have spoken—good or bad—on the day before Christmas. That's why I've been
unusually nice and polite to everyone to-day. Monsieur Pambe, you know, is a
witch gentleman; he—"
The words of the young
girl were interrupted by a startling thing.
Like the wraith of some
burned-out shooting star, a black streak came crashing through the window-pane
and upon the table, where it shivered into fragments a dozen pieces of crystal
and china ware, and then glanced between the heads of the guests to the wall,
imprinting therein a deep, round indentation, at which, to-day, the visitor to
Bellemeade marvels as he gazes upon it and listens to this tale as it is told.
The women screamed in
many keys, and the men sprang to their feet, and would have laid their hands
upon their swords had not the verities of chronology forbidden.
The planter was the
first to act; he sprang to the intruding missile, and held it up to view.
"By Jupiter!"
he cried. "A meteoric shower of hosiery! Has communication at last been
established with Mars?"
"I should say—ahem—Venus,"
ventured a young-gentleman visitor, looking hopefully for approbation toward
the unresponsive young-lady visitors.
The planter held at
arm's length the unceremonious visitor—a long dangling black stocking.
"It's loaded," he announced.
As he spoke, he reversed
the stocking, holding it by the toe, and down from it dropped a roundish stone,
wrapped about by a piece of yellowish paper. "Now for the first
interstellar message of the century!" he cried; and nodding to the
company, who had crowded about him, he adjusted his glasses with provoking
deliberation, and examined it closely. When he finished, he had changed from
the jolly host to the practical, decisive man of business. He immediately
struck a bell, and said to the silent-footed mulatto man who responded:
"Go and tell Mr. Wesley to get Reeves and Maurice and about ten stout
hands they can rely upon, and come to the hall door at once. Tell him to have
the men arm themselves, and bring plenty of ropes and plough lines. Tell him to
hurry." And then he read aloud from the paper these words:
To
the Gent of de Hous:
Dere is five tuff hoboes
xcept meself in the vaken lot near de road war de old brick piles is. Dey got
me stuck up wid a gun see and I taken dis means of communication. 2 of der lads
is gone down to set fire to de cain field below de hous and when yous fellers
goes to turn de hoes on it de hole gang is goin to rob de hous of de money yoo
gotto pay off wit say git a move on ye say de kid dropt dis sock in der rode
tel her mery crismus de same as she told me. Ketch de bums down de rode first
and den sen a relefe core to get me out of soke youres truly,
Whistlen Dick.
There was some quiet,
but rapid, mavœuvring at Bellemeade during the ensuring half hour, which ended
in five disgusted and sullen tramps being captured, and locked securely in an
outhouse pending the coming of the morning and retribution. For another result,
the visiting young gentlemen had secured the unqualified worship of the
visiting young ladies by their distinguished and heroic conduct. For still
another, behold Whistling Dick, the hero, seated at the planter's table,
feasting upon viands his experience had never before included, and waited upon
by admiring femininity in shapes of such beauty and "swellness" that
even his ever-full mouth could scarcely prevent him from whistling. He was made
to disclose in detail his adventure with the evil gang of Boston Harry, and how
he cunningly wrote the note and wrapped it around the stone and placed it at
the toe of the stocking, and, watching his chance, sent it silently, with a
wonderful centrifugal momentum, like a comet, at one of the big lighted windows
of the dining-room.
The planter vowed that
the wanderer should wander no more; that his was a goodness and an honesty that
should be rewarded, and that a debt of gratitude had been made that must be
paid; for had he not saved them from a doubtless imminent loss, and maybe a
greater calamity? He assured Whistling Dick that he might consider himself a
charge upon the honour of Bellemeade; that a position suited to his powers
would be found for him at once, and hinted that the way would be heartily
smoothed for him to rise to as high places of emolument and trust as the
plantation afforded.
But now, they said, he
must be weary, and the immediate thing to consider was rest and sleep. So the
mistress spoke to a servant, and Whistling Dick was conducted to a room in the
wing of the house occupied by the servants. To this room, in a few minutes, was
brought a portable tin bathtub filled with water, which was placed on a piece
of oiled cloth upon the floor. There the vagrant was left to pass the night.
By the light of a candle
he examined the room. A bed, with the covers neatly turned back, revealed snowy
pillows and sheets. A worn, but clean, red carpet covered the floor. There was
a dresser with a beveled mirror, a washstand with a flowered bowl and pitcher;
the two or three chairs were softly upholstered. A little table held books,
papers, and a day-old cluster of roses in a jar. There were towels on a rack
and soap in a white dish.
Whistling Dick set his
candle on a chair and placed his hat carefully under the table. After
satisfying what we must suppose to have been his curiosity by a sober scrutiny,
he removed his coat, folded it, and laid it upon the floor, near the wall, as
far as possible from the unused bathtub. Taking his coat for a pillow, he
stretched himself luxuriously upon the carpet.
When, on Christmas
morning, the first streaks of dawn broke above the marshes, Whistling Dick
awoke, and reached instinctively for his hat. Then he remembered that the
skirts of Fortune had swept him into their folds on the night previous, and he
went to the window and raised it, to let the fresh breath of the morning cool
his brow and fix the yet dream-like memory of his good luck within his brain.
As he stood there,
certain dread and ominous sounds pierced the fearful hollow of his ear.
The force of plantation
workers, eager to complete the shortened task allotted to them, were all astir.
The mighty din of the ogre Labour shook the earth, and the poor tattered and
forever disguised Prince in search of his fortune held tight to the window-sill
even in the enchanted castle, and trembled.
Already from the bosom
of the mill came the thunder of rolling barrels of sugar, and (prison-like
sounds) there was a great rattling of chains as the mules were harried with
stimulant imprecations to their places by the waggon-tongues. A little vicious
"dummy" engine, with a train of flat cars in tow, stewed and fumed on
the plantation tap of the narrow-gauge railroad, and a toiling, hurrying,
hallooing stream of workers were dimly seen in the half darkness loading the
train with the weekly output of sugar. Here was a poem; an epic—nay, a
tragedy—with work, the curse of the world, for its theme.
The December air was
frosty, but the sweat broke out upon Whistling Dick's face. He thrust his head
out of the window, and looked down. Fifteen feet below him, against the wall of
the house, he could make out that a border of flowers grew, and by that token
he overhung a bed of soft earth.
Softly as a burglar
goes, he clambered out upon the sill, lowered himself until he hung by his
hands alone, and then dropped safely. No one seemed to be about upon this side
of the house. He dodged low, and skimmed swiftly across the yard to the low
fence. It was an easy matter to vault this, for a terror urged him such as
lifts the gazelle over the thorn bush when the lion pursues. A crash through
the dew-drenched weeds on the roadside, a clutching, slippery rush up the
grassy side of the levee to the footpath at the summit, and—he was free!
The east was blushing
and brightening. The wind, himself a vagrant rover, saluted his brother upon
the cheek. Some wild geese, high above, gave cry. A rabbit skipped along the
path before him, free to turn to the right or to the left as his mood should
send him. The river slid past, and certainly no one could tell the ultimate
abiding place of its waters.
A small, ruffled,
brown-breasted bird, sitting upon a dog-wood sapling, began a soft, throaty,
tender little piping in praise of the dew which entices foolish worms from
their holes; but suddenly he stopped, and sat with his head turned sidewise,
listening.
From the path along the
levee there burst forth a jubilant, stirring, buoyant, thrilling whistle, loud
and keen and clear as the cleanest notes of the piccolo. The soaring sound
rippled and trilled and arpeggioed as the songs of wild birds do not; but it
had a wild free grace that, in a way, reminded the small, brown bird of
something familiar, but exactly what he could not tell. There was in it the
bird call, or reveille, that all birds know; but a great waste of lavish,
unmeaning things that art had added and arranged, besides, and that were quite
puzzling and strange; and the little brown bird sat with his head on one side
until the sound died away in the distance.
The little bird did not
know that the part of that strange warbling that he understood was just what
kept the warbler without his breakfast; but he knew very well that the part he
did not understand did not concern him, so he gave a little flutter of his
wings and swooped down like a brown bullet upon a big fat worm that was
wriggling along the levee path.
XX.THE HALBERDIER OF THE LITTLE RHEINSCHLOSS
I go sometimes into
the Bierhalle and restaurant called Old Munich. Not long ago
it was a resort of interesting Bohemians, but now only artists and musicians
and literary folk frequent it. But the Pilsner is yet good, and I take some
diversion from the conversation of Waiter No. 18.
For many years the
customers of Old Munich have accepted the place as a faithful copy from the
ancient German town. The big hall with its smoky rafters, rows of imported
steins, portrait of Goethe, and verses painted on the walls—translated into
German from the original of the Cincinnati poets—seems atmospherically correct
when viewed through the bottom of a glass.
But not long ago the
proprietors added the room above, called it the Little Rheinschloss, and built
in a stairway. Up there was an imitation stone parapet, ivy-covered, and the
walls were painted to represent depth and distance, with the Rhine winding at
the base of the vineyarded slopes, and the castle of Ehrenbreitstein looming
directly opposite the entrance. Of course there were tables and chairs; and you
could have beer and food brought you, as you naturally would on the top of a
castle on the Rhine.
I went into Old Munich
one afternoon when there were few customers, and sat at my usual table near the
stairway. I was shocked and almost displeased to perceive that the glass
cigar-case by the orchestra stand had been smashed to smithereens. I did not
like things to happen in Old Munich. Nothing had ever happened there before.
Waiter No. 18 came and
breathed on my neck. I was his by right of discovery. Eighteen's brain was
built like a corral. It was full of ideas which, when he opened the gate, came
huddling out like a flock of sheep that might get together afterward or might
not. I did not shine as a shepherd. As a type Eighteen fitted nowhere. I did
not find out if he had a nationality, family, creed, grievance, hobby, soul,
preference, home, or vote. He only came always to my table and, as long as his
leisure would permit, let words flutter from him like swallows leaving a barn
at daylight.
"How did the
cigar-case come to be broken, Eighteen?" I asked, with a certain feeling
of personal grievance.
"I can tell you
about that, sir," said he, resting his foot on the chair next to mine.
"Did you ever have anybody hand you a double handful of good luck while
both your hands was full of bad luck, and stop to notice how your fingers
behaved?"
"No riddles,
Eighteen," said I. "Leave out palmistry and manicuring."
"You
remember," said Eighteen, "the guy in the hammered brass Prince
Albert and the oroide gold pants and the amalgamated copper hat, that carried
the combination meat-axe, ice-pick, and liberty-pole, and used to stand on the
first landing as you go up to the Little Rindslosh."
"Why, yes,"
said I. "The halberdier. I never noticed him particularly. I remember he
thought he was only a suit of armour. He had a perfect poise."
"He had more than
that," said Eighteen. "He was me friend. He was an advertisement. The
boss hired him to stand on the stairs for a kind of scenery to show there was
something doing in the has-been line upstairs. What did you call him—a what
kind of a beer?"
"A
halberdier," said I. "That was an ancient man-at-arms of many hundred
years ago."
"Some
mistake," said Eighteen. "This one wasn't that old. He wasn't over
twenty-three or four.
"It was the boss's
idea, rigging a man up in an ante-bellum suit of tinware and standing him on
the landing of the slosh. He bought the goods at a Fourth Avenue antique store,
and hung a sign-out: 'Able-bodied hal—halberdier wanted. Costume furnished.'
"The same morning a
young man with wrecked good clothes and a hungry look comes in, bringing the
sign with him. I was filling the mustard-pots at my station.
"'I'm it,' says he,
'whatever it is. But I never halberdiered in a restaurant. Put me on. Is it a
masquerade?'
"'I hear talk in
the kitchen of a fishball,' says I.
"'Bully for you,
Eighteen,' says he. 'You and I'll get on. Show me the boss's desk.'
"Well, the boss
tries the Harveyized pajamas on him, and they fitted him like the scales on a
baked redsnapper, and he gets the job. You've seen what it is—he stood straight
up in the corner of the first landing with his halberd to his shoulder, looking
right ahead and guarding the Portugals of the castle. The boss is nutty about
having the true Old-World flavour to his joint. 'Halberdiers goes with
Rindsloshes,' says he, 'just as rats goes with rathskellers and white cotton
stockings with Tyrolean villages.' The boss is a kind of a antiologist, and is
all posted up on data and such information.
"From 8 p.m. to two in the morning was the
halberdier's hours. He got two meals with us help and a dollar a night. I eat
with him at the table. He liked me. He never told his name. He was travelling
impromptu, like kings, I guess. The first time at supper I says to him: 'Have
some more of the spuds, Mr. Frelinghuysen.' 'Oh, don't be so formal and offish,
Eighteen,' says he. 'Call me Hal—that's short for halberdier.' 'Oh, don't think
I wanted to pry for names,' says I. 'I know all about the dizzy fall from
wealth and greatness. We've got a count washing dishes in the kitchen; and the
third bartender used to be a Pullman conductor. And they work, Sir
Percival,' says I, sarcastic.
"'Eighteen,' says
he, 'as a friendly devil in a cabbage-scented hell, would you mind cutting up
this piece of steak for me? I don't say that it's got more muscle than I have,
but—' And then he shows me the insides of his hands. They was blistered and cut
and corned and swelled up till they looked like a couple of flank steaks
criss-crossed with a knife—the kind the butchers hide and take home, knowing
what is the best.
"'Shoveling coal,'
says he, 'and piling bricks and loading drays. But they gave out, and I had to
resign. I was born for a halberdier, and I've been educated for twenty-four
years to fill the position. Now, quit knocking my profession, and pass along a
lot more of that ham. I'm holding the closing exercises,' says he, 'of a
forty-eight-hour fast.'
"The second night
he was on the job he walks down from his corner to the cigar-case and calls for
cigarettes. The customers at the tables all snicker out loud to show their
acquaintance with history. The boss is on.
"'An'—let's see—oh,
yes—'An anachronism,' says the boss. 'Cigarettes was not made at the time when
halberdiers was invented.'
"'The ones you sell
was,' says Sir Percival. 'Caporal wins from chronology by the length of a cork
tip.' So he gets 'em and lights one, and puts the box in his brass helmet, and
goes back to patrolling the Rindslosh.
"He made a big hit,
'specially with the ladies. Some of 'em would poke him with their fingers to
see if he was real or only a kind of a stuffed figure like they burn in elegy.
And when he'd move they'd squeak, and make eyes at him as they went up to the slosh.
He looked fine in his halberdashery. He slept at $2 a week in a hall-room on
Third Avenue. He invited me up there one night. He had a little book on the
washstand that he read instead of shopping in the saloons after hours. 'I'm on
to that,' says I, 'from reading about it in novels. All the heroes on the bum
carry the little book. It's either Tantalus or Liver or Horace, and its printed
in Latin, and you're a college man. And I wouldn't be surprised,' says I, 'if
you wasn't educated, too.' But it was only the batting averages of the League
for the last ten years.
"One night, about
half past eleven, there comes in a party of these high-rollers that are always
hunting up new places to eat in and poke fun at. There was a swell girl in a 40
H.-P. auto tan coat and veil, and a fat old man with white side-whiskers, and a
young chap that couldn't keep his feet off the tail of the girl's coat, and an
oldish lady that looked upon life as immoral and unnecessary. 'How perfectly
delightful,' they says, 'to sup in a slosh.' Up the stairs they go; and in half
a minute back down comes the girl, her skirts swishing like the waves on the
beach. She stops on the landing and looks our halberdier in the eye.
"'You!' she says,
with a smile that reminded me of lemon sherbet. I was waiting up-stairs in the
slosh, then, and I was right down here by the door, putting some vinegar and
cayenne into an empty bottle of tabasco, and I heard all they said.
"'It,' says Sir
Percival, without moving. 'I'm only local colour. Are my hauberk, helmet, and
halberd on straight?'
"'Is there an
explanation to this?' says she. 'Is it a practical joke such as men play in
those Griddle-cake and Lamb Clubs? I'm afraid I don't see the point. I heard,
vaguely, that you were away. For three months I—we have not seen you or heard
from you.'
"'I'm halberdiering
for my living,' says the stature. 'I'm working,' says he. 'I don't suppose you
know what work means.'
"'Have you—have you
lost your money?' she asks.
"Sir Percival
studies a minute.
"'I am poorer,' says
he, 'than the poorest sandwich man on the streets—if I don't earn my living.'
"'You call this
work?' says she. 'I thought a man worked with his hands or his head instead of
becoming a mountebank.'
"'The calling of a
halberdier,' says he, 'is an ancient and honourable one. Sometimes,' says he,
'the man-at-arms at the door has saved the castle while the plumed knights were
cake-walking in the banquet-halls above.'
"'I see you're not
ashamed,' says she, 'of your peculiar tastes. I wonder, though, that the manhood
I used to think I saw in you didn't prompt you to draw water or hew wood
instead of publicly flaunting your ignominy in this disgraceful masquerade.'
"Sir Percival kind
of rattles his armour and says: 'Helen, will you suspend sentence in this
matter for just a little while? You don't understand,' says he. 'I've got to
hold this job down a little longer.'
"'You like being a
harlequin—or halberdier, as you call it?' says she.
"'I wouldn't get
thrown out of the job just now,' says he, with a grin, 'to be appointed
Minister to the Court of St. James's.'
"And then the
40-H.P. girl's eyes sparkled as hard as diamonds.
"'Very well,' says
she. 'You shall have full run of your serving-man's tastes this night.' And she
swims over to the boss's desk and gives him a smile that knocks the specks off
his nose.
"'I think your
Rindslosh,' says she, 'is as beautiful as a dream. It is a little slice of the
Old World set down in New York. We shall have a nice supper up there; but if
you will grant us one favour the illusion will be perfect—give us your
halberdier to wait on our table.'
"That hits the
boss's antiology hobby just right. 'Sure,' says he, 'dot vill be fine. Und der
orchestra shall blay "Die Wacht am Rhein" all der time.' And he goes
over and tells the halberdier to go upstairs and hustle the grub at the swells'
table.
"'I'm on the job,'
says Sir Percival, taking off his helmet and hanging it on his halberd and
leaning 'em in the corner. The girl goes up and takes her seat and I see her
jaw squared tight under her smile. 'We're going to be waited on by a real
halberdier,' says she, 'one who is proud of his profession. Isn't it sweet?'
"'Ripping,' says
the swell young man. 'Much prefer a waiter,' says the fat old gent. 'I hope he
doesn't come from a cheap museum,' says the old lady; 'he might have microbes
in his costume.'
"Before he goes to
the table, Sir Percival takes me by the arm. 'Eighteen,' he says, 'I've got to
pull off this job without a blunder. You coach me straight or I'll take that
halberd and make hash out of you.' And then he goes up to the table with his
coat of mail on and a napkin over his arm and waits for the order.
"'Why, it's
Deering!' says the young swell. 'Hello, old man. What the—'
"'Beg pardon, sir,'
interrupts the halberdier, 'I'm waiting on the table.'
"The old man looks
at him grim, like a Boston bull. 'So, Deering,' he says, 'you're at work yet.'
"'Yes, sir,' says
Sir Percival, quiet and gentlemanly as I could have been myself, 'for almost
three months, now.' 'You haven't been discharged during the time?' asks the old
man. 'Not once, sir,' says he, 'though I've had to change my work several
times.'
"'Waiter,' orders
the girl, short and sharp, 'another napkin.' He brings her one, respectful.
"I never saw more
devil, if I may say it, stirred up in a lady. There was two bright red spots on
her cheeks, and her eyes looked exactly like a wildcat's I'd seen in the zoo.
Her foot kept slapping the floor all the time.
"'Waiter,' she
orders, 'bring me filtered water without ice. Bring me a footstool. Take away
this empty salt-cellar.' She kept him on the jump. She was sure giving the
halberdier his.
"There wasn't but a
few customers up in the slosh at that time, so I hung out near the door so I
could help Sir Percival serve.
"He got along fine
with the olives and celery and the bluepoints. They was easy. And then the
consommé came up the dumb-waiter all in one big silver tureen. Instead of
serving it from the side-table he picks it up between his hands and starts to
the dining-table with it. When nearly there he drops the tureen smash on the
floor, and the soup soaks all the lower part of that girl's swell silk dress.
"'Stupid—incompetent,'
says she, giving him a look. 'Standing in a corner with a halberd seems to be
your mission in life.'
"'Pardon me, lady,'
says he. 'It was just a little bit hotter than blazes. I couldn't help it.'
"The old man pulls
out a memorandum book and hunts in it. 'The 25th of April, Deering,' says he.
'I know it,' says Sir Percival. 'And ten minutes to twelve o'clock,' says the
old man. 'By Jupiter! you haven't won yet.' And he pounds the table with his
fist and yells to me: 'Waiter, call the manager at once—tell him to hurry here
as fast as he can.' I go after the boss, and old Brockmann hikes up to the
slosh on the jump.
"'I want this man
discharged at once,' roars the old guy. 'Look what he's done. Ruined my
daughter's dress. It cost at least $600. Discharge this awkward lout at once or
I'll sue you for the price of it.'
"'Dis is bad
pizness,' says the boss. 'Six hundred dollars is much. I reckon I vill haf to—'
"'Wait a minute,
Herr Brockmann,' says Sir Percival, easy and smiling. But he was worked up
under his tin suitings; I could see that. And then he made the finest, neatest
little speech I ever listened to. I can't give you the words, of course. He
give the millionaires a lovely roast in a sarcastic way, describing their
automobiles and opera-boxes and diamonds; and then he got around to the
working-classes and the kind of grub they eat and the long hours they work—and all
that sort of stuff—bunkum, of course. 'The restless rich,' says he, 'never
content with their luxuries, always prowling among the haunts of the poor and
humble, amusing themselves with the imperfections and misfortunes of their
fellow men and women. And even here, Herr Brockmann,' he says, 'in this
beautiful Rindslosh, a grand and enlightening reproduction of Old World history
and architecture, they come to disturb its symmetry and picturesqueness by
demanding in their arrogance that the halberdier of the castle wait upon their
table! I have faithfuly and conscientiously,' says he, 'performed my duties as
a halberdier. I know nothing of a waiter's duties. It was the insolent whim of
these transient, pampered aristocrats that I should be detailed to serve them
food. Must I be blamed—must I be deprived of the means of a livelihood,' he
goes on, 'on account of an accident that was the result of their own
presumption and haughtiness? But what hurts me more than all,' says Sir
Percival, 'is the desecration that has been done to this splendid Rindslosh—the
confiscation of its halberdier to serve menially at the banquet board.'
"Even I could see
that this stuff was piffle; but it caught the boss.
"'Mein Gott,' says
he, 'you vas right. Ein halberdier have not got der right to dish up soup. Him
I vill not discharge. Have anoder waiter if you like, und let mein halberdier
go back und stand mit his halberd. But, gentlemen,' he says, pointing to the
old man, 'you go ahead and sue mit der dress. Sue me for $600 or $6,000. I
stand der suit.' And the boss puffs off down-stairs. Old Brockmann was an
all-right Dutchman.
"Just then the
clock strikes twelve, and the old guy laughs loud. 'You win, Deering,' says he.
'And let me explain to all,' he goes on. 'Some time ago Mr. Deering asked me
for something that I did not want to give him.' (I looks at the girl, and she
turns as red as a pickled beet.) 'I told him,' says the old guy, 'if he would
earn his own living for three months without being discharged for incompetence,
I would give him what he wanted. It seems that the time was up at twelve
o'clock to-night. I came near fetching you, though, Deering, on that soup
question,' says the old boy, standing up and grabbing Sir Percival's hand.
"The halberdier
lets out a yell and jumps three feet high.
"'Look out for
those hands,' says he, and he holds 'em up. You never saw such hands except on
a labourer in a limestone quarry.
"'Heavens, boy!'
says old side-whiskers, 'what have you been doing to 'em?'
"'Oh,' says Sir
Percival, 'little chores like hauling coal and excavating rock till they went
back on me. And when I couldn't hold a pick or a whip I took up halberdiering
to give 'em a rest. Tureens full of hot soup don't seem to be a particularly
soothing treatment.'
"I would have bet on
that girl. That high-tempered kind always go as far the other way, according to
my experience. She whizzes round the table like a cyclone and catches both his
hands in hers. 'Poor hands—dear hands,' she sings out, and sheds tears on 'em
and holds 'em close to her bosom. Well, sir, with all that Rindslosh scenery it
was just like a play. And the halberdier sits down at the table at the girl's
side, and I served the rest of the supper. And that was about all, except that
when they left he shed his hardware store and went with 'em."
I dislike to be
side-tracked from an original proposition.
"But you haven't
told me, Eighteen," said I, "how the cigar-case came to be
broken."
"Oh, that was last
night," said Eighteen. "Sir Percival and the girl drove up in a cream-coloured
motor-car, and had dinner in the Rindslosh. 'The same table, Billy,' I heard
her say as they went up. I waited on 'em. We've got a new halberdier now, a
bow-legged guy with a face like a sheep. As they came down-stairs Sir Percival
passes him a ten-case note. The new halberdier drops his halberd, and it falls
on the cigar-case. That's how that happened."
XXI.TWO RENEGADES
In the Gate City of the
South the Confederate Veterans were reuniting; and I stood to see them march,
beneath the tangled flags of the great conflict, to the hall of their oratory
and commemoration.
While the irregular and
halting line was passing I made onslaught upon it and dragged from the ranks my
friend Barnard O'Keefe, who had no right to be there. For he was a Northerner
born and bred; and what should he be doing hallooing for the Stars and Bars
among those gray and moribund veterans? And why should he be trudging, with his
shining, martial, humorous, broad face, among those warriors of a previous and
alien generation?
I say I dragged him
forth, and held him till the last hickory leg and waving goatee had stumbled
past. And then I hustled him out of the crowd into a cool interior; for the
Gate City was stirred that day, and the hand-organs wisely eliminated
"Marching Through Georgia" from their repertories.
"Now, what deviltry
are you up to?" I asked of O'Keefe when there were a table and things in
glasses between us.
O'Keefe wiped his heated
face and instigated a commotion among the floating ice in his glass before he
chose to answer.
"I am assisting at
the wake," said he, "of the only nation on earth that ever did me a
good turn. As one gentleman to another, I am ratifying and celebrating the
foreign policy of the late Jefferson Davis, as fine a statesman as ever settled
the financial question of a country. Equal ratio—that was his platform—a barrel
of money for a barrel of flour—a pair of $20 bills for a pair of boots—a hatful
of currency for a new hat—say, ain't that simple compared with W. J. B.'s
little old oxidized plank?"
"What talk is
this?" I asked. "Your financial digression is merely a subterfuge.
Why were you marching in the ranks of the Confederate Veterans?"
"Because, my
lad," answered O'Keefe, "the Confederate Government in its might and
power interposed to protect and defend Barnard O'Keefe against immediate and
dangerous assassination at the hands of a blood-thirsty foreign country after
the Unites States of America had overruled his appeal for protection, and had
instructed Private Secretary Cortelyou to reduce his estimate of the Republican
majority for 1905 by one vote."
"Come,
Barney," said I, "the Confederate States of America has been out of
existence nearly forty years. You do not look older yourself. When was it that
the deceased government exerted its foreign policy in your behalf?"
"Four months
ago," said O'Keefe, promptly. "The infamous foreign power I alluded
to is still staggering from the official blow dealt it by Mr. Davis's
contraband aggregation of states. That's why you see me cake-walking with the
ex-rebs to the illegitimate tune about 'simmon-seeds and cotton. I vote for the
Great Father in Washington, but I am not going back on Mars' Jeff. You say the
Confederacy has been dead forty years? Well, if it hadn't been for it, I'd have
been breathing to-day with soul so dead I couldn't have whispered a single
cuss-word about my native land. The O'Keefes are not overburdened with
ingratitude."
I must have looked
bewildered. "The war was over," I said vacantly, "in—"
O'Keefe laughed loudly,
scattering my thoughts.
"Ask old Doc
Millikin if the war is over!" he shouted, hugely diverted. "Oh, no!
Doc hasn't surrendered yet. And the Confederate States! Well, I just told you
they bucked officially and solidly and nationally against a foreign government
four months ago and kept me from being shot. Old Jeff's country stepped in and
brought me off under its wing while Roosevelt was having a gunboat painted and
waiting for the National Campaign Committee to look up whether I had ever
scratched the ticket."
"Isn't there a
story in this, Barney?" I asked.
"No," said
O'Keefe; "but I'll give you the facts. You know I went down to Panama when
this irritation about a canal began. I thought I'd get in on the ground floor.
I did, and had to sleep on it, and drink water with little zoos in it; so, of
course, I got the Chagres fever. That was in a little town called San Juan on
the coast.
"After I got the
fever hard enough to kill a Port-au-Prince nigger, I had a relapse in the shape
of Doc Millikin.
"There was a doctor
to attend a sick man! If Doc Millikin had your case, he made the terrors of
death seem like an invitation to a donkey-party. He had the bedside manners of
a Piute medicine-man and the soothing presence of a dray loaded with iron
bridge-girders. When he laid his hand on your fevered brow you felt like Cap
John Smith just before Pocahontas went his bail.
"Well, this old
medical outrage floated down to my shack when I sent for him. He was build like
a shad, and his eyebrows was black, and his white whiskers trickled down from
his chin like milk coming out of a sprinkling-pot. He had a nigger boy along
carrying an old tomato-can full of calomel, and a saw.
"Doc felt my pulse,
and then he began to mess up some calomel with an agricultural implement that
belonged to the trowel class.
"'I don't want any
death-mask made yet, Doc,' I says, 'nor my liver put in a plaster-of-Paris
cast. I'm sick; and it's medicine I need, not frescoing.'
"'You're a blame
Yankee, ain't you?' asked Doc, going on mixing up his Portland cement.
"'I'm from the
North,' says I, 'but I'm a plain man, and don't care for mural decorations.
When you get the Isthmus all asphalted over with that boll-weevil prescription,
would you mind giving me a dose of pain-killer, or a little strychnine on toast
to ease up this feeling of unhealthiness that I have got?"
"'They was all
sassy, just like you,' says old Doc, 'but we lowered their temperature
considerable. Yes, sir, I reckon we sent a good many of ye over to old mortuis
nisi bonum. Look at Antietam and Bull Run and Seven Pines and around
Nashville! There never was a battle where we didn't lick ye unless you was ten
to our one. I knew you were a blame Yankee the minute I laid eyes on you.'
"'Don't reopen the
chasm, Doc,' I begs him. 'Any Yankeeness I may have is geographical; and, as
far as I am concerned, a Southerner is as good as a Filipino any day. I'm
feeling to bad too argue. Let's have secession without misrepresentation, if
you say so; but what I need is more laudanum and less Lundy's Lane. If you're
mixing that compound gefloxide of gefloxicum for me, please fill my ears with
it before you get around to the battle of Gettysburg, for there is a subject
full of talk.'
"By this time Doc
Millikin had thrown up a line of fortifications on square pieces of paper; and
he says to me: 'Yank, take one of these powders every two hours. They won't
kill you. I'll be around again about sundown to see if you're alive.'
"Old Doc's powders
knocked the chagres. I stayed in San Juan, and got to knowing him better. He
was from Mississippi, and the red-hottest Southerner that ever smelled mint. He
made Stonewall Jackson and R. E. Lee look like Abolitionists. He had a family
somewhere down near Yazoo City; but he stayed away from the States on account
of an uncontrollable liking he had for the absence of a Yankee government. Him
and me got as thick personally as the Emperor of Russia and the dove of peace,
but sectionally we didn't amalgamate.
"'Twas a beautiful
system of medical practice introduced by old Doc into that isthmus of land.
He'd take that bracket-saw and the mild chloride and his hypodermic, and treat
anything from yellow fever to a personal friend.
"Besides his other
liabilities Doc could play a flute for a minute or two. He was guilty of two
tunes—'Dixie' and another one that was mighty close to the 'Suwanee River'—you
might say one of its tributaries. He used to come down and sit with me while I
was getting well, and aggrieve his flute and say unreconstructed things about
the North. You'd have thought that the smoke from the first gun at Fort Sumter
was still floating around in the air.
"You know that was
about the time they staged them property revolutions down there, that wound up
in the fifth act with the thrilling canal scene where Uncle Sam has nine curtain-calls
holding Miss Panama by the hand, while the bloodhounds keep Senator Morgan
treed up in a cocoanut-palm.
"That's the way it
wound up; but at first it seemed as if Colombia was going to make Panama look
like one of the $3.98 kind, with dents made in it in the factory, like they
wear at North Beach fish fries. For mine, I played the straw-hat crowd to win;
and they gave me a colonel's commission over a brigade of twenty-seven men in
the left wing and second joint of the insurgent army.
"The Colombian
troops were awfully rude to us. One day when I had my brigade in a sandy spot,
with its shoes off doing a battalion drill by squads, the Government army
rushed from behind a bush at us, acting as noisy and disagreeable as they
could.
"My troops enfiladed,
left-faced, and left the spot. After enticing the enemy for three miles or so
we struck a brier-patch and had to sit down. When we were ordered to throw up
our toes and surrender we obeyed. Five of my best staff-officers fell,
suffering extremely with stone-bruised heels.
"Then and there
those Colombians took your friend Barney, sir, stripped him of the insignia of
his rank, consisting of a pair of brass knuckles and a canteen of rum, and
dragged him before a military court. The presiding general went through the
usual legal formalities that sometimes cause a case to hang on the calendar of
a South American military court as long as ten minutes. He asked me my age, and
then sentenced me to be shot.
"They woke up the
court interpreter, an American named Jenks, who was in the rum business and
vice versa, and told him to translate the verdict.
"Jenks stretched
himself and took a morphine tablet.
"'You've got to
back up against th' 'dobe, old man,' says he to me. 'Three weeks, I believe,
you get. Haven't got a chew of fine-cut on you, have you?'
"'Translate that
again, with foot-notes and a glossary,' says I. 'I don't know whether I'm
discharged, condemned, or handed over to the Gerry Society.'
"'Oh,' says Jenks,
'don't you understand? You're to be stood up against a 'dobe wall and shot in
two or three weeks—three, I think, they said.'
"'Would you mind
asking 'em which?' says I. 'A week don't amount to much after you're dead, but
it seems a real nice long spell while you are alive.'
"'It's two weeks,'
says the interpreter, after inquiring in Spanish of the court. 'Shall I ask 'em
again?'
"'Let be,' says I.
'Let's have a stationary verdict. If I keep on appealing this way they'll have
me shot about ten days before I was captured. No, I haven't got any fine-cut.'
"They sends me over
to the calaboza with a detachment of coloured postal-telegraph
boys carrying Enfield rifles, and I am locked up in a kind of brick bakery. The
temperature in there was just about the kind mentioned in the cooking recipes
that call for a quick oven.
"Then I gives a
silver dollar to one of the guards to send for the United States consul. He
comes around in pajamas, with a pair of glasses on his nose and a dozen or two
inside of him.
"'I'm to be shot in
two weeks,' says I. 'And although I've made a memorandum of it, I don't seem to
get it off my mind. You want to call up Uncle Sam on the cable as quick as you
can and get him all worked up about it. Have 'em send the Kentucky and
the Kearsarge and the Oregon down right away.
That'll be about enough battleships; but it wouldn't hurt to have a couple of
cruisers and a torpedo-boat destroyer, too. And—say, if Dewey isn't busy,
better have him come along on the fastest one of the fleet.'
"'Now, see here,
O'Keefe,' says the consul, getting the best of a hiccup, 'what do you want to
bother the State Department about this matter for?'
"'Didn't you hear
me?' says I; 'I'm to be shot in two weeks. Did you think I said I was going to
a lawn-party? And it wouldn't hurt of Roosevelt could get the Japs to send down
the Yellowyamtiskookum or the Ogotosingsing or
some other first-class cruisers to help. It would make me feel safer.'
"'Now, what you
want,' says the consul, 'is not to get excited. I'll send you over some chewing
tobacco and some banana fritters when I go back. The United States can't
interfere in this. You know you were caught insurging against the government,
and you're subject to the laws of this country. To tell the truth, I've had an
intimation from the State Department—unofficially, of course—that whenever a
soldier of fortune demands a fleet of gunboats in a case of revolutionary katzenjammer,
I should cut the cable, give him all the tobacco he wants, and after he's shot
take his clothes, if they fit me, for part payment of my salary.'
"'Consul,' says I
to him, 'this is a serious question. You are representing Uncle Sam. This ain't
any little international tomfoolery, like a universal peace congress or the
christening of the Shamrock IV. I'm an American citizen and I
demand protection. I demand the Mosquito fleet, and Schley, and the Atlantic
squadron, and Bob Evans, and General E. Byrd Grubb, and two or three protocols.
What are you going to do about it?'
"'Nothing doing,'
says the consul.
"'Be off with you,
then,' says I, out of patience with him, 'and send me Doc Millikin. Ask Doc to
come and see me.'
"Doc comes and
looks through the bars at me, surrounded by dirty soldiers, with even my shoes
and canteen confiscated, and he looks mightily pleased.
"'Hello, Yank,'
says he, 'getting a little taste of Johnson's Island, now, ain't ye?'
"'Doc,' says I,
'I've just had an interview with the U.S. consul. I gather from his remarks
that I might just as well have been caught selling suspenders in Kishineff
under the name of Rosenstein as to be in my present condition. It seems that
the only maritime aid I am to receive from the United States is some navy-plug
to chew. Doc,' says I, 'can't you suspend hostility on the slavery question
long enough to do something for me?'
"'It ain't been my
habit,' Doc Millikin answers, 'to do any painless dentistry when I find a Yank
cutting an eye-tooth. So the Stars and Stripes ain't lending any marines to
shell the huts of the Colombian cannibals, hey? Oh, say, can you see by the
dawn's early light the star-spangled banner has fluked in the fight? What's the
matter with the War Department, hey? It's a great thing to be a citizen of a
gold-standard nation, ain't it?'
"'Rub it in, Doc,
all you want,' says I. 'I guess we're weak on foreign policy.'
"'For a Yank,' says
Doc, putting on his specs and talking more mild, 'you ain't so bad. If you had
come from below the line I reckon I would have liked you right smart. Now since
your country has gone back on you, you have to come to the old doctor whose
cotton you burned and whose mules who stole and whose niggers you freed to help
you. Ain't that so, Yank?'
"'It is,' says I
heartily, 'and let's have a diagnosis of the case right away, for in two weeks'
time all you can do is to hold an autopsy and I don't want to be amputated if I
can help it.'
"'Now,' says Doc,
business-like, 'it's easy enough for you to get out of this scrape. Money'll do
it. You've got to pay a long string of 'em from General Pomposo down to this
anthropoid ape guarding your door. About $10,000 will do the trick. Have you
got the money?'
"'Me?' says I.
'I've got one Chili dollar, two real pieces, and a medio.'
"'Then if you've
any last words, utter 'em,' says that old reb. 'The roster of your financial
budget sounds quite much to me like the noise of a requiem.'
"'Change the
treatment,' says I. 'I admit that I'm short. Call a consultation or use radium
or smuggle me in some saws or something.'
"'Yank,' says Doc
Millikin, 'I've a good notion to help you. There's only one government in the
world that can get you out of this difficulty; and that's the Confederate
States of America, the grandest nation that ever existed.'
"Just as you said
to me I says to Doc; 'Why, the Confederacy ain't a nation. It's been absolved
forty years ago.'
"'That's a campaign
lie,' says Doc. 'She's running along as solid as the Roman Empire. She's the
only hope you've got. Now, you, being a Yank, have got to go through with some
preliminary obsequies before you can get official aid. You've got to take the
oath of allegiance to the Confederate Government. Then I'll guarantee she does
all she can for you. What do you say, Yank?—it's your last chance.'
"'If you're fooling
with me, Doc,' I answers, 'you're no better than the United States. But as you
say it's the last chance, hurry up and swear me. I always did like corn whisky
and 'possum anyhow. I believe I'm half Southerner by nature. I'm willing to try
the Klu-klux in place of the khaki. Get brisk.'
"Doc Millikin
thinks awhile, and then he offers me this oath of allegiance to take without
any kind of a chaser:
"'I, Barnard
O'Keefe, Yank, being of sound body but a Republican mind, hereby swear to
transfer my fealty, respect, and allegiance to the Confederate States of
America, and the government thereof in consideration of said government, through
its official acts and powers, obtaining my freedom and release from confinement
and sentence of death brought about by the exuberance of my Irish proclivities
and my general pizenness as a Yank.'
"I repeated these
words after Doc, but they seemed to me a kind of hocus-pocus; and I don't
believe any life-insurance company in the world would have issued me a policy
on the strength of 'em.
"Doc went away
saying he would communicate with his government immediately.
"Say—you can
imagine how I felt—me to be shot in two weeks and my only hope for help being
in a government that's been dead so long that it isn't even remembered except
on Decoration Day and when Joe Wheeler signs the voucher for his pay-check. But
it was all there was in sight; and somehow I thought Doc Millikin had something
up his old alpaca sleeve that wasn't all foolishness.
"Around to the jail
comes old Doc again in about a week. I was flea-bitten, a mite sarcastic, and
fundamentally hungry.
"'Any Confederate
ironclads in the offing?' I asks. 'Do you notice any sounds resembling the
approach of Jeb Stewart's cavalry overland or Stonewall Jackson sneaking up in
the rear? If you do, I wish you'd say so.'
"'It's too soon yet
for help to come,' says Doc.
"'The sooner the
better,' says I. 'I don't care if it gets in fully fifteen minutes before I am
shot; and if you happen to lay eyes on Beauregard or Albert Sidney Johnston or
any of the relief corps, wig-wag 'em to hike along.'
"'There's been no
answer received yet,' says Doc.
"'Don't forget,'
says I, 'that there's only four days more. I don't know how you propose to work
this thing, Doc,' I says to him; 'but it seems to me I'd sleep better if you
had got a government that was alive and on the map—like Afghanistan or Great
Britain, or old man Kruger's kingdom, to take this matter up. I don't mean any
disrespect to your Confederate States, but I can't help feeling that my chances
of being pulled out of this scrape was decidedly weakened when General Lee
surrendered.'
"'It's your only
chance,' said Doc; 'don't quarrel with it. What did your own country do for
you?'
"It was only two
days before the morning I was to be shot, when Doc Millikin came around again.
"'All right, Yank,'
says he. 'Help's come. The Confederate States of America is going to apply for
your release. The representatives of the government arrived on a fruit-steamer
last night.'
"'Bully!' says
I—'bully for you, Doc! I suppose it's marines with a Gatling. I'm going to love
your country all I can for this.'
"'Negotiations,'
says old Doc, 'will be opened between the two governments at once. You will
know later to-day if they are successful.'
"About four in the
afternoon a soldier in red trousers brings a paper round to the jail, and they
unlocks the door and I walks out. The guard at the door bows and I bows, and I
steps into the grass and wades around to Doc Millikin's shack.
"Doc was sitting in
his hammock playing 'Dixie,' soft and low and out of tune, on his flute. I
interrupted him at 'Look away! look away!' and shook his hand for five minutes.
"'I never thought,'
says Doc, taking a chew fretfully, 'that I'd ever try to save any blame Yank's
life. But, Mr. O'Keefe, I don't see but what you are entitled to be considered
part human, anyhow. I never thought Yanks had any of the rudiments of decorum
and laudability about them. I reckon I might have been too aggregative in my
tabulation. But it ain't me you want to thank—it's the Confederate States of
America.'
"'And I'm much
obliged to 'em,' says I. 'It's a poor man that wouldn't be patriotic with a
country that's saved his life. I'll drink to the Stars and Bars whenever
there's a flagstaff and a glass convenient. But where,' says I, 'are the
rescuing troops? If there was a gun fired or a shell burst, I didn't hear it.'
"Doc Millikin
raises up and points out the window with his flute at the banana-steamer
loading with fruit.
"'Yank,' says he,
'there's a steamer that's going to sail in the morning. If I was you, I'd sail
on it. The Confederate Government's done all it can for you. There wasn't a gun
fired. The negotiations were carried on secretly between the two nations by the
purser of that steamer. I got him to do it because I didn't want to appear in
it. Twelve thousand dollars was paid to the officials in bribes to let you go.'
"'Man!' says I,
sitting down hard—'twelve thousand—how will I ever—who could have—where did the
money come from?'
"'Yazoo City,' says
Doc Millikin: 'I've got a little saved up there. Two barrels full. It looks
good to these Colombians. 'Twas Confederate money, every dollar of it. Now do
you see why you'd better leave before they try to pass some of it on an
expert?'
"'I do,' says I.
"'Now let's hear
you give the password,' says Doc Millikin.
"'Hurrah for Jeff
Davis!' says I.
"'Correct,' says
Doc. 'And let me tell you something: The next tune I learn on my flute is going
to be "Yankee Doodle." I reckon there's some Yanks that are not so
pizen. Or, if you was me, would you try "The Red, White, and
Blue"?'"
XXII.THE LONESOME ROAD
Brown as a coffee-berry,
rugged, pistoled, spurred, wary, indefeasible, I saw my old friend,
Deputy-Marshal Buck Caperton, stumble, with jingling rowels, into a chair in
the marshal's outer office.
And because the
court-house was almost deserted at that hour, and because Buck would sometimes
relate to me things that were out of print, I followed him in and tricked him
into talk through knowledge of a weakness he had. For, cigarettes rolled with
sweet corn husk were as honey to Buck's palate; and though he could finger the
trigger of a forty-five with skill and suddenness, he never could learn to roll
a cigarette.
It was through no fault
of mine (for I rolled the cigarettes tight and smooth), but the upshot of some
whim of his own, that instead of to an Odyssey of the chaparral, I listened
to—a dissertation upon matrimony! This from Buck Caperton! But I maintain that
the cigarettes were impeccable, and crave absolution for myself.
"We just brought in
Jim and Bud Granberry," said Buck. "Train robbing, you know. Held up
the Aransas Pass last month. We caught 'em in the Twenty-Mile pear flat, south
of the Nueces."
"Have much trouble
corralling them?" I asked, for here was the meat that my hunger for epics
craved.
"Some," said
Buck; and then, during a little pause, his thoughts stampeded off the trail.
"It's kind of queer about women," he went on, "and the place
they're supposed to occupy in botany. If I was asked to classify them I'd say
they was a human loco weed. Ever see a bronc that had been chewing loco? Ride
him up to a puddle of water two feet wide, and he'll give a snort and fall back
on you. It looks as big as the Mississippi River to him. Next trip he'd walk
into a cañon a thousand feet deep thinking it was a prairie-dog hole. Same way
with a married man.
"I was thinking of
Perry Rountree, that used to be my sidekicker before he committed matrimony. In
them days me and Perry hated indisturbances of any kind. We roamed around
considerable, stirring up the echoes and making 'em attend to business. Why,
when me and Perry wanted to have some fun in a town it was a picnic for the
census takers. They just counted the marshal's posse that it took to subdue us,
and there was your population. But then there came along this Mariana Goodnight
girl and looked at Perry sideways, and he was all bridle-wise and saddle-broke
before you could skin a yearling.
"I wasn't even
asked to the wedding. I reckon the bride had my pedigree and the front
elevation of my habits all mapped out, and she decided that Perry would trot
better in double harness without any unconverted mustang like Buck Caperton
whickering around on the matrimonial range. So it was six months before I saw
Perry again.
"One day I was
passing on the edge of town, and I see something like a man in a little yard by
a little house with a sprinkling-pot squirting water on a rose-bush. Seemed to
me, I'd seen something like it before, and I stopped at the gate, trying to
figure out its brands. 'Twas not Perry Rountree, but 'twas the kind of a
curdled jellyfish matrimony had made out of him.
"Homicide was what that
Mariana had perpetrated. He was looking well enough, but he had on a white
collar and shoes, and you could tell in a minute that he'd speak polite and pay
taxes and stick his little finger out while drinking, just like a sheep man or
a citizen. Great skyrockets! but I hated to see Perry all corrupted and
Willie-ized like that.
"He came out to the
gate, and shook hands; and I says, with scorn, and speaking like a paroquet
with the pip: 'Beg pardon—Mr. Rountree, I believe. Seems to me I sagatiated in
your associations once, if I am not mistaken.'
"'Oh, go to the
devil, Buck,' says Perry, polite, as I was afraid he'd be.
"'Well, then,' says
I, 'you poor, contaminated adjunct of a sprinkling-pot and degraded household
pet, what did you go and do it for? Look at you, all decent and unriotous, and
only fit to sit on juries and mend the wood-house door. You was a man once. I
have hostility for all such acts. Why don't you go in the house and count the
tidies or set the clock, and not stand out here in the atmosphere? A
jack-rabbit might come along and bite you.'
"'Now, Buck,' says
Perry, speaking mild, and some sorrowful, 'you don't understand. A married man
has got to be different. He feels different from a tough old cloudburst like
you. It's sinful to waste time pulling up towns just to look at their roots,
and playing faro and looking upon red liquor, and such restless policies as
them.'
"'There was a
time,' I says, and I expect I sighed when I mentioned it, 'when a certain
domesticated little Mary's lamb I could name was some instructed himself in the
line of pernicious sprightliness. I never expected, Perry, to see you reduced
down from a full-grown pestilence to such a frivolous fraction of a man. Why,'
says I, 'you've got a necktie on; and you speak a senseless kind of indoor
drivel that reminds me of a storekeeper or a lady. You look to me like you
might tote an umbrella and wear suspenders, and go home of nights.'
"'The little
woman,' says Perry, 'has made some improvements, I believe. You can't
understand, Buck. I haven't been away from the house at night since we was
married.'
"We talked on a
while, me and Perry, and, as sure as I live, that man interrupted me in the
middle of my talk to tell me about six tomato plants he had growing in his
garden. Shoved his agricultural degradation right up under my nose while I was
telling him about the fun we had tarring and feathering that faro dealer at
California Pete's layout! But by and by Perry shows a flicker of sense.
"'Buck,' says he,
'I'll have to admit that it is a little dull at times. Not that I'm not
perfectly happy with the little woman, but a man seems to require some
excitement now and then. Now, I'll tell you: Mariana's gone visiting this
afternoon, and she won't be home till seven o'clock. That's the limit for both
of us—seven o'clock. Neither of us ever stays out a minute after that time
unless we are together. Now, I'm glad you came along, Buck,' says Perry, 'for
I'm feeling just like having one more rip-roaring razoo with you for the sake
of old times. What you say to us putting in the afternoon having fun—I'd like
it fine,' says Perry.
"I slapped that old
captive range-rider half across his little garden.
"'Get your hat, you
old dried-up alligator,' I shouts, 'you ain't dead yet. You're part human, anyhow,
if you did get all bogged up in matrimony. We'll take this town to pieces and
see what makes it tick. We'll make all kinds of profligate demands upon the
science of cork pulling. You'll grow horns yet, old muley cow,' says I,
punching Perry in the ribs, 'if you trot around on the trail of vice with your
Uncle Buck.'
"'I'll have to be
home by seven, you know,' says Perry again.
"'Oh, yes,' says I,
winking to myself, for I knew the kind of seven o'clocks Perry Rountree got
back by after he once got to passing repartee with the bartenders.
"We goes down to
the Gray Mule saloon—that old 'dobe building by the depot.
"'Give it a name,'
says I, as soon as we got one hoof on the foot-rest.
"'Sarsaparilla,'
says Perry.
"You could have
knocked me down with a lemon peeling.
"'Insult me as much
as you want to,' I says to Perry, 'but don't startle the bartender. He may have
heart-disease. Come on, now; your tongue got twisted. The tall glasses,' I
orders, 'and the bottle in the left-hand corner of the ice-chest.'
"'Sarsaparilla,'
repeats Perry, and then his eyes get animated, and I see he's got some great
scheme in his mind he wants to emit.
"'Buck,' says he,
all interested, 'I'll tell you what! I want to make this a red-letter day. I've
been keeping close at home, and I want to turn myself a-loose. We'll have the
highest old time you ever saw. We'll go in the back room here and play checkers
till half-past six.'
"I leaned against
the bar, and I says to Gotch-eared Mike, who was on watch:
"'For God's sake
don't mention this. You know what Perry used to be. He's had the fever, and the
doctor says we must humour him.'
"'Give us the
checker-board and the men, Mike,' says Perry. 'Come on, Buck, I'm just wild to
have some excitement.'
"I went in the back
room with Perry. Before we closed the door, I says to Mike:
"'Don't ever let it
straggle out from under your hat that you seen Buck Caperton fraternal with
sarsaparilla or persona grata with a checker-board, or I'll
make a swallow-fork in your other ear.'
"I locked the door
and me and Perry played checkers. To see that poor old humiliated piece of
household bric-a-brac sitting there and sniggering out loud whenever he jumped
a man, and all obnoxious with animation when he got into my king row, would
have made a sheep-dog sick with mortification. Him that was once satisfied only
when he was pegging six boards at keno or giving the faro dealers nervous
prostration—to see him pushing them checkers about like Sally Louisa at a
school-children's party—why, I was all smothered up with mortification.
"And I sits there
playing the black men, all sweating for fear somebody I knew would find it out.
And I thinks to myself some about this marrying business, and how it seems to
be the same kind of a game as that Mrs. Delilah played. She give her old man a
hair cut, and everybody knows what a man's head looks like after a woman cuts
his hair. And then when the Pharisees came around to guy him he was so 'shamed
that he went to work and kicked the whole house down on top of the whole outfit.
'Them married men,' thinks I, 'lose all their spirit and instinct for riot and
foolishness. They won't drink, they won't buck the tiger, they won't even
fight. What do they want to go and stay married for?' I asks myself.
"But Perry seems to
be having hilarity in considerable quantities.
"'Buck old hoss,'
says he, 'isn't this just the hell-roaringest time we ever had in our lives? I
don't know when I've been stirred up so. You see, I've been sticking pretty
close to home since I married, and I haven't been on a spree in a long time.'
"'Spree!' Yes,
that's what he called it. Playing checkers in the back room of the Gray Mule! I
suppose it did seem to him a little immoral and nearer to a prolonged debauch
than standing over six tomato plants with a sprinkling-pot.
"Every little bit
Perry looks at his watch and says:
"'I got to be home,
you know, Buck, at seven.'
"'All right,' I'd
say. 'Romp along and move. This here excitement's killing me. If I don't reform
some, and loosen up the strain of this checkered dissipation I won't have a
nerve left.'
"It might have been
half-past six when commotions began to go on outside in the street. We heard a
yelling and a six-shootering, and a lot of galloping and manœuvres.
"'What's that?' I
wonders.
"'Oh, some nonsense
outside,' says Perry. 'It's your move. We just got time to play this game.'
"'I'll just take a
peep through the window,' says I, 'and see. You can't expect a mere mortal to
stand the excitement of having a king jumped and listen to an unidentified
conflict going on at the same time.'
"The Gray Mule
saloon was one of them old Spanish 'dobe buildings, and the back room only had
two little windows a foot wide, with iron bars in 'em. I looked out one, and I
see the cause of the rucus.
"There was the
Trimble gang—ten of 'em—the worst outfit of desperadoes and horse-thieves in
Texas, coming up the street shooting right and left. They was coming right
straight for the Gray Mule. Then they got past the range of my sight, but we
heard 'em ride up to the front door, and then they socked the place full of
lead. We heard the big looking-glass behind the bar knocked all to pieces and
the bottles crashing. We could see Gotch-eared Mike in his apron running across
the plaza like a coyote, with the bullets puffing up dust all around him. Then
the gang went to work in the saloon, drinking what they wanted and smashing
what they didn't.
"Me and Petty both
knew that gang, and they knew us. The year before Perry married, him and me was
in the same ranger company—and we fought that outfit down on the San Miguel,
and brought back Ben Trimble and two others for murder.
"'We can't get
out,' says I. 'We'll have to stay in here till they leave.'
"Perry looked at
his watch.
"'Twenty-five to
seven,' says he. 'We can finish that game. I got two men on you. It's your
move, Buck. I got to be home at seven, you know.'
"We sat down and
went on playing. The Trimble gang had a roughhouse for sure. They were getting
good and drunk. They'd drink a while and holler a while, and then they'd shoot
up a few bottles and glasses. Two or three times they came and tried to open
our door. Then there was some more shooting outside, and I looked out the
window again. Ham Gossett, the town marshal, had a posse in the houses and
stores across the street, and was trying to bag a Trimble or two through the
windows.
"I lost that game
of checkers. I'm free in saying that I lost three kings that I might have saved
if I had been corralled in a more peaceful pasture. But that drivelling married
man sat there and cackled when he won a man like an unintelligent hen picking
up a grain of corn.
"When the game was
over Perry gets up and looks at his watch.
"'I've had a
glorious time, Buck,' says he, 'but I'll have to be going now. It's a quarter
to seven, and I got to be home by seven, you know.'
"I thought he was
joking.
"'They'll clear out
or be dead drunk in half an hour or an hour,' says I. 'You ain't that tired of
being married that you want to commit any more sudden suicide, are you?' says
I, giving him the laugh.
"'One time,' says
Perry, 'I was half an hour late getting home. I met Mariana on the street
looking for me. If you could have seen her, Buck—but you don't understand. She
knows what a wild kind of a snoozer I've been, and she's afraid something will
happen. I'll never be late getting home again. I'll say good-bye to you now,
Buck.'
"I got between him
and the door.
"'Married man,'
says I, 'I know you was christened a fool the minute the preacher tangled you
up, but don't you never sometimes think one little think on a human basis?
There's ten of that gang in there, and they're pizen with whisky and desire for
murder. They'll drink you up like a bottle of booze before you get half-way to
the door. Be intelligent, now, and use at least wild-hog sense. Sit down and
wait till we have some chance to get out without being carried in baskets.'
"'I got to be home
by seven, Buck,' repeats this hen-pecked thing of little wisdom, like an
unthinking poll parrot. 'Mariana,' says he, 'will be out looking for me.' And
he reaches down and pulls a leg out of the checker table. 'I'll go through this
Trimble outfit,' says he, 'like a cottontail through a brush corral. I'm not
pestered any more with a desire to engage in rucuses, but I got to be home by
seven. You lock the door after me, Buck. And don't you forget—I won three out
of them five games. I'd play longer, but Mariana—'
"'Hush up, you old
locoed road runner,' I interrupts. 'Did you ever notice your Uncle Buck locking
doors against trouble? I'm not married,' says I, 'but I'm as big a d––––n fool
as any Mormon. One from four leaves three,' says I, and I gathers out another
leg of the table. 'We'll get home by seven,' says I, 'whether it's the heavenly
one or the other. May I see you home?' says I, 'you sarsaparilla-drinking,
checker-playing glutton for death and destruction.'
"We opened the door
easy, and then stampeded for the front. Part of the gang was lined up at the
bar; part of 'em was passing over the drinks, and two or three was peeping out
the door and window and taking shots at the marshal's crowd. The room was so
full of smoke we got half-way to the front door before they noticed us. Then I
heard Berry Trimble's voice somewhere yell out:
"'How'd that Buck
Caperton get in here?' and he skinned the side of my neck with a bullet. I
reckon he felt bad over that miss, for Berry's the best shot south of the
Southern Pacific Railroad. But the smoke in the saloon was some too thick for
good shooting.
"Me and Perry
smashed over two of the gang with our table legs, which didn't miss like the
guns did, and as we run out the door I grabbed a Winchester from a fellow who
was watching the outside, and I turned and regulated the account of Mr. Berry.
"Me and Perry got
out and around the corner all right. I never much expected to get out, but I
wasn't going to be intimidated by that married man. According to Perry's idea,
checkers was the event of the day, but if I am any judge of gentle recreations
that little table-leg parade through the Gray Mule saloon deserved the
head-lines in the bill of particulars.
"'Walk fast,' says
Perry, 'it's two minutes to seven, and I got to be home by—'
"'Oh, shut up,'
says I. 'I had an appointment as chief performer at an inquest at seven, and
I'm not kicking about not keeping it.'
"I had to pass by
Perry's little house. His Mariana was standing at the gate. We got there at
five minutes past seven. She had on a blue wrapper, and her hair was pulled
back smooth like little girls do when they want to look grown-folksy. She
didn't see us till we got close, for she was gazing up the other way. Then she
backed around, and saw Perry, and a kind of a look scooted around over her
face—danged if I can describe it. I heard her breathe long, just like a cow
when you turn her calf in the lot, and she says: 'You're late, Perry.'
"'Five minutes,'
says Perry, cheerful. 'Me and old Buck was having a game of checkers.'
"Perry introduces
me to Mariana, and they ask me to come in. No, sir-ee. I'd had enough truck
with married folks for that day. I says I'll be going along, and that I've
spent a very pleasant afternoon with my old partner—'especially,' says I, just
to jostle Perry, 'during that game when the table legs came all loose.' But I'd
promised him not to let her know anything.
"I've been worrying
over that business ever since it happened," continued Buck. "There's
one thing about it that's got me all twisted up, and I can't figure it
out."
"What was
that?" I asked, as I rolled and handed Buck the last cigarette.
"Why, I'll tell
you: When I saw the look that little woman gave Perry when she turned round and
saw him coming back to the ranch safe—why was it I got the idea all in a minute
that that look of hers was worth more than the whole caboodle of
us—sarsaparilla, checkers, and all, and that the d––––n fool in the game wasn't
named Perry Rountree at all?"
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