THE COUNTESS OF LOWNDES
SQUARE
And Other Stories
BY E. F. BENSON
CASSELL AND COMPANY, LTD
London, New York, Toronto and Melbourne
CONTENTS
Blackmailing Stories
1.The Countess of Lowndes Square
2.The Blackmailer of Park Lane
General Stories
1.The Dance of the Beefsteak 2.The
Oriolists 3.In the Dark 4.The False Step
Spook Stories
1.The Case of Frank Hampden 2.Mrs.
Andrew’s Control 3.The Ape 4.”Through”
Cat Stories
1.”Puss-cat” 2.There Arose a King
Crank Stories
1.The Tragedy of Oliver Bowman
2.Philip’s Safety Razor
BLACKMAILING STORIES
1.THE COUNTESS OF LOWNDES SQUARE
Cynthia,
Countess of Hampshire, was sitting in an extraordinarily elaborate dressing-gown one
innocent morning in June, alternately opening letters and eating spoonfuls of
sour milk prepared according to the prescription of Professor Metchnikoff.
Every day it made her feel younger and stronger and more irresponsible (which
is the root of all joy to natures of a serious disposition), and since (when a
fortnight before she began this abominable treatment) she felt very young
already, she was now almost afraid that she would start again on measles,
croup, hoops, whooping-cough, peppermints, and other childish ailments and
passions. But since this treatment not only induced youth, but was discouraging
to all microbes but its own, she hoped as regards ailments that she would
continue to feel younger and younger without suffering the penalties of
childhood.
The sour milk was finished
long before her letters were all opened, for there was no one in London who had
a larger and more festive post than she. Indeed, it was no wonder that
everybody of sense (and most people of none) wanted her to eat their dinners
and stay in their houses, for her volcanic enjoyment of life made the dullest
of social functions a high orgy, and since nothing is nearly so infectious as
enjoyment, it followed that she was much in request.
Even in her fiftieth year
she retained with her youthful zest for life much of the extreme plainness of
her girlhood, but time was gradually lightening the heaviness of feature that
had once formed so remarkable an ugliness, and in a few years more, no doubt,
she would become as nice looking as everybody else of her age.
Her father, the notorious
(probably infamous) Baron Kakao, of mixed and uncertain origin, had at one time
compiled by hook or crook (chiefly, it is to be feared, by crook) an immense
fortune; but long after that was spent, and debts of an equally substantial
nature been substituted for it, he continued to live in London in a blaze of
splendour so Oriental, that he was still believed to be possessed of fabulous
wealth, and had without the least difficulty married the plain but fascinating
Cynthia to an elderly Earl of Hampshire, and had continued to allow her £10,000
a year, which he borrowed at a staggering rate of usury from optimistic
Hebrews. They thought that Lord Hampshire would probably see to his father-in-law’s
debts; while, rather humorously, Lord Hampshire was post-obiting himself with
others who trusted that Baron Kakao would come to the rescue of his
son-in-law.
Consequently, when he and
Cynthia’s disgusting husband expired within a few hours of each other, the
widowed and orphaned Countess was left without a penny in the world, and in
Rama was there a voice heard, lamentation and great mourning! Father and
husband were both sad rogues, and in death, in more than a chronological sense,
it is highly probable that they were not divided.
It will therefore be easily
imagined that her childhood and marriage had been a sound and liberal education
to Lady Hampshire; for they had taught her that the world in general is very
easily imposed upon, and that if you are intending to be a villain, the path of
villainy is made much smoother to the pilgrim if he smiles. Shakespeare perhaps
had given her the germ of that invaluable truth; but, as in countless other
instances, her brilliant brain brought to full flower what was only an immature
bud of knowledge. In any case, the villain, so she shrewdly reasoned, must keep
his frown to himself, and however dreadful the machinations on which he is
employed, must cultivate a dewy bonhomie in public, and
pretend to be innocently engrossed in the pleasures and palaces of this
delightful world. Lady Hampshire went farther than this (especially since she
had taken to sour milk), and actually was engrossed in them for a large
majority of the hours of those entrancing summer days. But, like all game
fish, she had a close time, which occurred every morning over her post. For to
let the reader into her terrible and unsuspected secret, she was an earnest and
adroit blackmailer.
It is easy to find excuses
(if excuses are needed) to account for her adoption of so vivid and thrilling a
life, for indeed it is difficult to see how she could have existed at all
without some such source of income as this, and still less could she have kept
up her delightful house in Lowndes Square, her cottage in the Cotswolds, her
luxurious and rapid motor-car, her box at the opera, her wonderful toilettes at
Sandown and Epsom, and Newmarket and Aix and Marienbad.
All these simple pleasures
were really a necessity of life to her, while in addition to that she rightly
regarded them as an indispensable part of her “makeup” as a blackmailer, a mask
behind which she could securely grin. Had she, with her historic name, gone to
live in Whitechapel or Bayswater, people would have inevitably concluded that
she was hard up, and in the charitable manner characteristic of the world, have
wondered how she managed to live at all except by some course of secret and
remunerative crime. Whereas the genial and affluent Countess who gave her box
at the opera, not to her friend (for she was too clever for that), but to her
possible enemies, whenever she did not want it (which was six nights in
the week, since she detested music as much as she detested detectives), was a
woman who need not laugh at suspicion, simply because there were no suspicions
to laugh at. Nobody bothered himself or herself as to how she got her money,
just because she always spent it so delightfully. If she had not spent it thus,
or if there had been none to spend, there would have been excellent cause for
the world to wonder where it came (or did not come) from.
A word is necessary for the
sake of those few who may possibly be ignorant of how such things are
pleasantly managed, as to her methods when in pursuit of her profession. From
an amateur standpoint, and to the world at large, she was, as has been said,
Cynthia, Countess of Hampshire; but in her business capacity and to the
scarcely less numerous world of her trembling clients she was Agatha Ainslie
(Miss). Here she differed from Shakespeare, for she held that there was a great
deal in a name, and (apart from the obvious objections to trading as Cynthia
Hampshire) there was in the sound of “Agatha Ainslie” much which would inspire
a misplaced confidence. Agatha Ainslie, to anyone entering into business
relations with her for the first time, would seem to be a not unkindly
blackmailer; she might suitably have lived in a cathedral close, with her
sister. There was something wistful and pathetic about the title: it was in no
way sharkish. She sounded gentle, though her immediate mission might appear
diabolical; she was a pleasant dentist who might be supposed to treat you
to nasty jabs and vivid extractions for your permanent good.
In Lady Hampshire’s life,
passed as it was in country-houses and restaurants and Continental spas, it was
no wonder that she found many clients. There was scarcely a scandal in London
that did not reach her sympathetic ear before it became public, and there were
certainly many scandals that reached that eager orifice which never became
public at all. She had a memory which bordered on the Gladstonian for
retentiveness, and a terrifying and menacing pen, and a few words dropped
secretly into her ear came out of Agatha’s stylograph with blistering effect.
But with the innate kindliness
of her nature, she never allowed Agatha to blackmail any who could not afford
to pay, and she had several times deferred the exaction of her little fines
until it was certain that her client would not be seriously embarrassed and
possibly driven to the desperate course of denouncing her. Never had she had
reason to blame herself for a suicide, and she had Sir Andrew Clarke’s
authority for believing that no one ever died of sleeplessness. She only milked
the fat, sleek cows, and twisted the tails of the bulky bulls. Indeed, as she
quaintly said to herself, she looked upon the payments they made as a sort of
insurance against indiscretions on their part in the future. She protected them
against their own lower instincts.
Her arrangements for Agatha
were thoughtful in the extreme. Years ago her father had owned a small house in
Whitstaple Street, of the kind described in auctioneering circles as “bijou,”
which backed on to her own less jewel-sized mansion in Lowndes Square. This
house in Whitstaple Street had providentially escaped the notice of his
creditors when his affairs—if an entire absence of assets can be considered
affairs—were wound up, and in order to give Miss Ainslie a discreet and
convenient home, it had only been necessary to cut a door through the back of a
big closet in her bedroom in Lowndes Square. The rates and taxes of the bijou
were punctually paid by Agatha, who had, of course, a separate banking-account
and a curious sloping hand, while a secret and terrible old woman called Magsby,
whom Lady Hampshire could ruin on the spot for forging a valueless cheque of
her father’s, opened the door to the clients, and made gruesome haddocky meals
for herself in the kitchen.
Upstairs Lady Hampshire kept
her Agatha-clothes, in which she looked like some unnatural cross between a
hospital nurse and the sort of person who gets more stared at than talked to,
and when she had found a home for the guileless young carpenter who fashioned
her means of communication between Lowndes Square and Whitstaple Street in a
remote though salubrious district of Western Australia, it really seemed as if
she might laugh at the idea of detectives. She had but to lock herself
into her bedroom, and in five minutes Agatha, with her spectacles and rouge and
terrible wig, would be firmly conversing with clients in Whitstaple Street.
Then, when a pleasant conclusion had been come to, five minutes more would be
sufficient, and Lady Hampshire would emerge from her bedroom refreshed by her
rest, and ready to immerse herself in a perfect spate of fashionable
diversions.
Such to Lady Hampshire’s
effusive and optimistic mind was her career as it should have been. But
occasionally the hard sordid facts of existence “put spokes” in the wheel that
should have whirled so merrily. And as she sat this morning in her elaborate
dressing-gown, she found a spoke of the most obstructive kind.
Agatha’s letters had, as
usual, been placed outside the door of communication by the terrible Magsby,
and Lady Hampshire, on the principle of business first, pleasure afterwards,
had answered all the letters sent to herself which dealt with the social
pleasures of town before she opened the far more exciting packet of Agatha’s
correspondence. The very first of them made her feel as if she had several
lowering diseases in the pit of the stomach. It ran thus:
“To Miss Agatha Ainslie.
“Dear Madam,—I have learned your
terrible secret, and know the means whereby you acquire your great and
ill-gotten wealth. Believe me, my heart bleeds for you that in your position
you should ever have had to descend to the crime of blackmailing, which, you
are well aware, is regarded in a very serious and perhaps even brutal light by
the otherwise humane code of English law.
“Now I make no threats; I
studiously avoid them. But if you can help a deserving and struggling
individual already past the prime of life, I assure you, on my sacred word of
honour, that you will not sleep the less soundly for it. A pittance of £1,000 a
year paid quarterly, and in advance, would be considered perfectly
satisfactory. My messenger shall call on you this afternoon at a quarter-past
three, and I earnestly suggest that the first payment should then and there be
given him.—Faithfully yours,
“M. S.”
“P.S.—Motives of delicacy
prevent my mentioning my name. A cheque therefore would be less welcome than
bank-notes or gold.”
Cynthia Hampshire shuddered
as she read. Often and often she had wondered with kindly amazement at the
hare-like timidity of her clients, who so willingly paid their little mites to
the upkeep of her establishment, when a moment’s courage would have taken them
hot-foot to the smiling and hospitable portals of Scotland Yard. But as she
perused this perfectly sickening communication, she found herself, in the
true sense of the word, sympathizing with them—that is to say, suffering with
them. It really was most uncomfortable being blackmailed for something of an
illegal nature which you actually had done, and she no longer wondered at the
lamb-like acquiescence with which her clients fell in with the not unreasonable
terms that she offered them.
The thought of calling at
Scotland Yard with this outrageous letter occurred to her, but at the idea of
appealing for protection her soul cried out like a child in the dark, and her
courage oozed from her like drippings from a squeezed sponge. Furthermore, so
spirited a proceeding was rendered even less feasible by the fact that it was
not Lady Hampshire who was being blackmailed, but her Agatha. She doubted very
much if she would be allowed by the odious meticulosity of English law to
prosecute on behalf of poor Miss Ainslie, who must suddenly have gone abroad,
while the idea of going to the house of vengeance in the disguise and
habiliments of that injured spinster was outside the limits of her sober
imagination. And who could M. S. be, with his veiled threats and nauseating
denial of them? She ran rapidly through the list of her clients, but found none
whom she could reasonably suspect of so treacherous a feat.
Very reluctantly she was
forced to the conclusion that she would have to pay the first quarter anyhow of
this cruel levy. Luckily Agatha had been doing very well lately, for
London had been amusing itself with no end of questionable antics, and there
was a prospect of a good season to come. But £250 per quarter would assuredly
take a considerable portion of gilt off poor Miss Ainslie’s gingerbread, and it
was at once clear to Lady Hampshire that she must raise Agatha’s rates.
She was lunching that day
with Colonel Ascot, an old and valued friend. Though still only a year or two
past fifty, he had made three large fortunes, of which he had lost two. But the
third, which he had rapidly scooped out of the rubber boom, had sent him
bounding upwards again, and she had more than once wondered if she could get
him on to Agatha’s list. More than once also, in answer to his repeated
proposals, she had thought of marrying him, but she did not think it right to
accept his devotion without telling him about Agatha, and it seemed scarcely likely
that he would wish his wife to have such an alter ego. For as
Agatha she led such a thrilling and tremendous existence that it would be a
great wrench to annihilate that exciting spinster in the noose of matrimony. On
the other hand, if Agatha’s business was to be threatened by these bolts from
the blue, in the shape of demands from M. S., the pain of parting with her
would be appreciably less severe. The matter required fresh and careful
consideration.
Lady Hampshire had several
other clients to write to, and it was time (when she had finished this
correspondence, and put it through the secret door at the back of her bedroom
closet to be collected and posted by grim Magsby) to exchange her dressing-gown
for the habiliments of lunch and civilization. A new costume had come for her
from Paquin’s that morning, and as she was to go to two charity bazaars, a
matinée, and as many tea-parties as there was time for between the end of the
matinée and the early dinner which was to precede another theatre and a couple
of balls, she decided to wear this sumptuous creation.
Anything new, provided the
point of it was not to be old, put this mercurial lady into excellent humour,
and she set out for lunch, which was only just across the square, not more than
half an hour late, looking, as the representative of a fashion-paper who was
standing at the corner on the chance of seeing her told her readers the
following Saturday, “very smart and well-gowned.” She knew she was certain to
meet friends, since that always happened; and by the time she took her seat
next her host, finding lunch already half-over, she had quite dismissed from
her mind the trouble of poor Miss Ainslie.
“But how delicious to see
food again,” she said as she sat down. “I was so afraid lunch-time was never
coming that I didn’t recognize it when it came.”
“And we were afraid that you
were never coming, dear Cynthia,” said the Duchess of Camber.
“I know; I am late. But as I
always am late, it is the same as if I was punctual. The really unpunctual people
are those who sometimes are late and sometimes not. Colonel Ascot has the other
punctuality; he is always in time.”
Cynthia looked round the
table. There were but half a dozen guests, but all these were old friends, and
by a not uncommon coincidence half of them were clients of Agatha, while the
Duchess of Camber, so Lady Hampshire knew, was quite likely to become one, for
she had lately taken to doing her shopping at Mason’s Stores, and spent a long
time over it.
Colonel Ascot glanced,
apparently with purpose, at the Louis XVI. clock that stood on the mantelpiece.
“One wastes a lot of time if
one is punctual,” he said. “But, after all, one has all the time there is.”
“But there isn’t enough,
though one has it all!” said Lady Hampshire. “To-day, for instance, would have
to be doubled, as one doubles at bridge, if I was to do all I have promised
to.”
“But you won’t, dear, so it
doesn’t matter,” said the Duchess. “In any case, there is always time for what
one wants to do, and one can omit the rest. I always thought my time was
completely taken up, but I find I can do my own shopping at Mason’s as well. I
buy soap and candles and sealing-wax, and take them home in the motor.”
“But not every morning?”
asked Lady Hampshire, beginning to attend violently.
“Practically every
afternoon. I always find I have forgotten something I meant to buy the day
before. Also, it is a sort of retreat. One never meets there anybody one knows,
which is such a rest. I don’t have to grin and talk.”
Lunch was soon over, and instead
of having coffee and cigarettes served at the table, Colonel Ascot got up.
“I do hope, Lady Hampshire,”
he said, “that you and the others will not hurry away, and that you will excuse
me, as I have a most important engagement at a quarter-past three, which I
cannot miss. It is very annoying, and the worst of it is that I made the
appointment myself, quite forgetting that I was to have the pleasure of seeing
you at lunch.”
“Am I to take your place as
hostess?” she asked, as she sat down with him for a moment in a corner of the
drawing-room.
“If you will, both now and
always,” said he.
She laughed; he had proposed
to her so often that a repetition was not in the least embarrassing. But
somehow, to-day, he looked unusually attractive and handsome, and she was more
serious with him than was her wont. Also the thought of doing business for
Agatha was in her mind.
“Ah, my dear friend,” she
said, “I should have to know so much more about you first. For instance, that
appointment of your own making seems to me to need inquiry. Now be truthful,
Colonel Ascot, and tell me if it is not a woman you are going to see?”
“Well, it is.”
“I knew it,” she said.
“But you must let me tell
you more,” said he. “She is an old governess of my sister’s, whom I—I want to
be kind to. Such a good old soul. The sort of helpless old lady with whom one
couldn’t break an appointment that one had made.”
Lady Hampshire laughed
again.
“Your details are
admirable,” she said. “And detail is of such prime importance in any artistic
production.”
“Artistic production?” said
he. “Surely you don’t suspect me of——”
“I suspect everybody of
everything,” she interrupted lightly, “owing to my extensive knowledge of
myself. But go on; I want more details. What is the name and address of this
helpless old governess?”
“Miss Agatha Ainslie,” said
he. “She lives in Whitstaple Street, just off the Square.”
Lady Hampshire had nerves of
steel. If they had been of any other material they must have snapped like the
strings of the lyre of Hope in Mr. Watts’s picture. Only in this case there
would not have been a single one left. Colonel Ascot going to see Agatha at a
quarter-past three.... How on earth did he know of Agatha’s existence? What was Agatha
to him, or he to Agatha? And surely it was at a quarter-past three that the
messenger of the ruthless M. S. was going to call at Whitstaple Street, where
he would find the packet of bank-notes for £250 that Lady Hampshire had made
ready before she came out to lunch. Would they meet on the doorstep? What did it
all mean?
Her head whirled, but she
managed to command her voice.
“What a delightful name!”
she said. “I’m sure Miss Ainslie must be a delightful old lady with ringlets
and a vinaigrette and a mourning-brooch.”
“I haven’t seen her for
years,” said Colonel Ascot. “I will tell you about her when we meet again. Do
let it be soon!”
“Perhaps you would drop in
for tea to-day?” she suggested, expunging from her mind several other
engagements. “I shall be alone.”
“That will make up for my
curtailed luncheon-party,” said he.
He made his excuses to his
guests, and after allowing him a liberal time in which he could leave the
house, Lady Hampshire rose also.
“You are not going yet, dear
Cynthia?” asked the Duchess. “I wanted to talk to you about the advantage of
doing your shopping at Mason’s. And the danger of it,” she added, catching Lady
Hampshire’s kind understanding eye.
Lady Hampshire felt torn
between conflicting interests. Here, she unerringly conjectured, there was
fish to fry for Agatha, and yet other fish, so to speak, who perhaps wanted to
fry. Agatha demanded a more immediate attention.
The duchess’s complication
must wait: she was dining with her to-morrow. Colonel Ascot was going to see
Agatha: nothing must prevent Lady Hampshire from hearing what his business was.
She went across the Square,
and let herself into her own house. There were half a dozen telegrams lying on
the hall table, but without dreaming of opening any, she went straight to her
bedroom and locked the door. Someone—probably the second footman—was being
funny at the servants’ dinner, for shrieks of laughter ascended from the
basement. As a rule, she loved to know that her household was enjoying itself,
but to-day that merriment left her cold, and next moment she was in Agatha’s
house and pursing her lips into the shrill whistle with which she always
summoned Magsby.
“I left a note addressed to
M. S.,” she said; “I want it.”
The words were yet in her
mouth, when the bell of Agatha’s front door rang in an imperious manner, and
Lady Hampshire peeped cautiously out through the yellow muslin blinds. On the
doorstep was standing an old, old man with a long white beard. He leaned
heavily on a stick, and wore a frayed overcoat.
She tip-toed back from the
window.
“Give me the note,” she
said, “and wait till I get upstairs. Then answer the door, and tell Methuselah
that Miss Ainslie will be down in a moment.”
Lady Hampshire stole up to
Agatha’s room, and hastily assumed her grey wig, her spectacles, her rouge, her
large elastic-sided boots, her lip-salve, her creaking alpaca gown, and with
the envelope containing bank-notes for £250, addressed in Agatha’s dramatic
sloping handwriting to the messenger of M. S., descended again to her
sitting-room. Methuselah rose as she entered, and she made him her ordinary
prim Agatha bow, and spoke in Miss Ainslie’s husky treble voice.
“The messenger of M. S.,”
she observed. “Quite so.”
“That is my name for the
present,” said the old man in a fruity tenor.
“I received your master’s
note, sir,” said Agatha, “and you cannot be expected to know what pain and
surprise it caused me. But what does he suppose he is going to get by it?”
Lady Hampshire was not used
to spectacles, and they dimmed her natural acuteness of vision, besides making
her eyes ache. Before her was a sordid old ruin of humanity, red-eyed,
white-bearded, a prey, it would seem, to lumbago, nasal catarrh, and other
senile ailments. Probably in a few minutes—for it was scarcely a quarter past
three yet—Colonel Ascot would arrive; and again her head whirled at the
thought of the possible nightmares that Providence still had in store for her.
Methuselah blew his nose.
“I fancy my master rather
expected to get £250 in notes or gold,” he said. “He knows a good deal about
Miss Ainslie, he does. He is quite willing to share his knowledge with others,
he is.”
Lady Hampshire raised her
head proudly, so that she could get a glimpse of this old ruffian under her
spectacles. The ways of genius are past finding out, and she could never give a
firm reason for what she said next. A brilliant unconscious intuition led her
to say it.
“There is nothing the world
may not know,” she said; “in England it is no crime to be poor, and though I
have been in a humble position all my life, my life has been an honest one.
There is no disgrace inherent in the profession of a governess. For many years
I was governess to Colonel Ascot’s sister.”
“Good God!” said Methuselah.
That was sufficient for Lady
Hampshire. She took off her spectacles altogether and closely scrutinized that
astonished rheumy face. And then her kindly soul was all aflame with
indignation at this dastardly attempt to blackmail poor Agatha.
“In fact, now I look at
you,” she said, “I recognize you. No wonder you blaspheme. I remember the
bright boy who used to come in and sit in the schoolroom while my pupil
and I were at our lessons. You have aged very much, Colonel Ascot.”
In that moment of
recognition, she made up her mind. She could never marry him; she could never
even lunch with him again. He was atrocious.
Methuselah rose.
“You are labouring under
some strange mistake,” he said; “I will call again.”
“There is no mistake at
all,” said Lady Hampshire quickly, forgetting, in her perfectly natural
indignation, to employ the husky treble tones which were characteristic of Miss
Ainslie, “except the mistake you have made in thinking that you could with
impunity blackmail a defenceless old governess like me. Where is Scotland Yard?
I shall drive there immediately, and you shall come with me. I shall ring the
bell.”
She got up quickly, and then
sat down again exactly where she had been, and Methuselah looked at her very
carefully. Then he suddenly burst into peals of bass laughter.
“But you have aged very
much, too, Lady Hampshire,” he said.
“Good God!” said Agatha Ainslie.
Magsby, waiting in the
passage outside, felt uncertain as to what her duty was. She heard her
mistress’s voice and the voice of another, shrieking with laughter, which
seemed to gather volume and enjoyment the longer it went on. Eventually she
thought best to retreat to the basement and prepare haddocks for dinner.
“But, my dear, let us be
serious,” said Lady Hampshire at length. “Tell me, before I begin to laugh
again, how on earth you ever heard of my poor Agatha!”
“A mutual client,” said Colonel
Ascot, fanning himself with his long white beard. “Poor Jimmy Dennison. He told
me, in a fit of natural exasperation, when I was reminding him about what
happened at Brighton last September, that he could not afford to pay for the
same thing twice over, once to me, and once to Agatha Ainslie. The poor boy
showed me the counterfoils of his cheque-book. It was Agatha Ainslie and Martin
Sampson all the way. It was but natural, since he could not pay, that I should
turn to Agatha and see if she could.”
“But are you really one of
us?” said Lady Hampshire.
“Apparently. Are you?”
There was a fresh relapse of
laughter, and then Lady Hampshire pulled herself together.
“I will go halves in Jimmy
Dennison,” she said, “whatever we may get. You may say you have squared Agatha.
He ought to give you something for your trouble. Or I will say I have squared
Sampson.”
“It makes no difference,”
said Colonel Ascot. “But I am afraid our interests conflict in many
quarters. For instance, the poor Duchess of Camber.”
“Shopping at Mason’s,”
interrupted Lady Hampshire. “My dear friend, she is mine. She was going to tell
me all about it this afternoon, only I had to come over here to see about
Agatha.”
Again Colonel Ascot exploded
with laughter.
“But she told me about it
yesterday,” he said, “and I had already drafted a short letter to her from
Martin Sampson.”
Lady Hampshire was annoyed
at this, since the Duchess was so very rich and so very silly.
“I don’t know what we can
do,” she said; “we can’t appoint an arbitrator, can we? No arbitrator of really
high character would undertake to settle the differences of two blackmailers.
It is very important that an arbitrator should be beyond suspicion.”
“We had really better make
it one firm, Cynthia,” said he.
She had often considered his
proposal before, but never so favourably. Agatha need not be annihilated now;
Agatha would probably grow even more tumultuously alive.
“Yes, perhaps we had,” she
said. “Oh, yes, most decidedly!”
So they lived happily and
wealthily and amazingly for another twenty-four years—there is much yet that
might be said about them.
2.THE BLACKMAILER OF PARK
LANE
Arthur Whately had known very well what it was like to be desperately poor, and in consequence, when he became so desperately rich that money ceased to mean anything to him, his pity for the penurious was not hysterical or exaggerated. He could recall very vividly what it felt like to have neither tea, dinner nor supper, and to wake in the morning, stiff and cold as armour, on a bench on the Embankment and see the ridiculous needle of Cleopatra stonily pointing heavenwards against the sky, in which the stars were beginning to burn dim at the chilly approach of day. He had known how icy the feet become when they have been close clasped all night long in the frayed embraces of gaping leather, but he had known also how sweet and surprising it is to eat when food is imperiously demanded by the cravings of long-continued abstinence, and how ineffably luxurious to get warm when limbs have ached themselves numb. He would have been willing to confess that unveneered destitution had its inconveniences, but it was false sentiment to deny that it had its compensations also.
It was when he was just
sixteen that Luck, the great veiled goddess whom all the world so wisely worships,
had paid him her first visit. He had been hanging about at the covered portico
of the Lyceum Theatre one night watching the well-fed world being lumpily
deposited at the doors, when a silly old pink gentleman, in paying his cabman,
dropped a promising pocket-book in the roadway. For one half-second the boy
deliberated, wondering instinctively (though he had never heard of the proverb)
if honesty was the best policy, in other words, how much the pocket-book
contained, and how much the foolish old gentleman would give him if he picked
it up and returned it. A couple of pence, perhaps, for he looked a coppery
gent.
But the debate lasted
scarcely longer than it took the pocket-book to fall; in a moment his wise
decision was made, he had picked it up (recognizing in that delightful incident
the smile of the great goddess), had dived under the Roman nose of the cab
horse, and fled into the street where a chill, unpleasant rain was falling.
Luck still smiled on him, for the night was foggy, and as soon as he had
crossed the street he dropped into the habitual shuffling pace of the homeless,
and returned to the portico which he had so lately quitted, since it was
theoretically impossible that the thief should do anything so foolish.
The silly old pink gentleman
had not yet ceased to gesticulate and jibber in the direction in which he
himself had just vanished, and an obsequious policeman was apparently taking
down all the bad words he used in a neat notebook. Arthur wondered if he
would arrest the old man for indulging in language redolent of faint praise in
a public place.
Meantime, he had thrust the
pocket-book—that incarnate smile of the beneficent goddess—into his shirt, and
it slid comfortably down against his skin, till it was brought to anchor by the
string which he had so strictly tied round his braceless trousers, since
pressure in those regions minimised the abhorrence of vacuum. Then he slouched
back to the Embankment, and with head bowed over his knees as if in sleep, he
counted the tale of his treasure, taking out each item separately, and
screening them from the parental scrutiny of policemen in the cavern of his
hand.
There were two pieces of the
fabulous crinkly paper, there were three sovereigns, and, what was immensely
important for immediate purposes, a couple of shillings, translatable without
suspicion into rich fried fish. One of his trouser pockets was a secure
harbourage, and into this he piloted the golden ship. Then, with a stroke of
high wisdom, he thrust the pocket-book through the interstices of the bench
instead of keeping about him so incriminating a piece of merchandise, and
slouched away, saying good-bye to roofless bedchambers by the sweet Thames-side
for ever.
To-night, as he sat in the
great dining-room of his house in Park Lane, the memory of that divine evening
was vividly brought to his mind. Three friends had dined with him, and as the
night proved foggy, they had abandoned the idea of seeing the most
incompletely-clad dancer that the London County Council had at present
licensed, and had decided to stay at home and play bridge.
“A cold, foggy night, sir,”
had been the pronouncement that followed the butler’s news that the motors were
round, and the simple words had conjured up that wonderful night of his boyhood
with the vividness of hallucination. Bates, too, had a Roman nose, just like
the cab horse, and Bates, by a strange coincidence, had just laid by his plate
a couple of bank-notes and some change, since he had found himself completely
destitute of coin. Had he ever enjoyed himself so much in all these fat years
as on that cold, lean, foggy evening so long ago? Honestly (or dishonestly) he
could not believe that he had. For there had been about it the one and only and
original spice; then for the first time he had heard the clear call of the
great golden goddess. She had called often since; indeed for years she had
never ceased calling, and it was not too much to say that for years she had
been madly and unreasonably in love with him. He received her with yawns now,
like some poor discarded mistress, but the chilly reception never deterred her.
She never noticed that he was bored, and his indifference seemed but to inflame
her ardour.
Solid, monotonous good luck
had followed him all the days of his life. Ever since the night when he was
sixteen and so happily stole the pocket-book, all he had touched turned to
gold, all he had desired had been granted him, all his ideals (such as they
were) had frozen into cold suetty facts. Half of the thirteen pounds which were
the result of his original theft had been expended in reach-me-down clothes and
ready-made boots (which, in those happy years, could be purchased by others
than millionaires), for it was symptomatic of him never to grudge money when it
was probably a good investment, and between his natural smartness of face and
carriage and the acquired smartness of his new clothes, he had at once got a
place as hall-boy in an hotel.
He learned to swim in the
Chelsea Baths, and August was scarcely begun when this recreation was turned to
solid account, for, being at Margate on bank holiday, a pleasure-boat
conveniently capsized near him, and he easily rescued the only daughter of a
prosperous bookmaker. That gentleman seemed not to resent the unexpected
survival of a rat-faced child, had given him fifty pounds in cash, and,
subsequently, several racing tips by way of a gilt-edged security for the fifty
pounds. These proved not to be gilt-edged only, but completely covered with
pure gold.
Then came the news of possibilities
in South Africa, and, gambler as he was in every drop of blood in his
body, he had gone for these with a thousand pounds to his credit. He threw his
thousand pounds at the Rand, and, as if he had given it a little emetic pill,
the Rand belched gold at him. In ten years (though he had enjoyed those years
quite enormously) the savour of money-making grew stale, and with a brilliant
excursion into American rails, which returned him his fortune more than
doubled, he quitted the speculative arena, and for the last decade and a half
had looked with eyes of incredulous wonder at the extraordinary gentlemen who
continued to go to offices in the city all day long and industriously
accumulate what they did not want.
There was one such here
to-night, a great, round, dark man with yellow hair, the colour of a London
fog. He took a grudged month’s holiday in the year, but otherwise sat in an
office with his ear to a telephone and his mouth to a speaking-tube. Perhaps it
amused him, for certainly there was always in his eye a remote twinkle, as if
he had constant grounds for private mirth, and Arthur Whately had often
suspected him of being a secret humourist. Yet in the ordinary commerce of
social life none was so heavy or so commonplace. He and his wife were social
climbers of pathetic industry, who gave parties that tried to be smart and only
succeeded in being garish. Yet there was that secret twinkle in his eye....
The same good luck had
dogged Arthur Whately in affairs more intimate to his happiness than gold.
He had married the woman whom he adored, and just when his adoration had cooled
and she was beginning to bore him to extinction, she had run away with somebody
else. He had wanted the particular house in which he now sat, and the owner had
died just when his demise was most convenient, leaving his affairs in
unutterable confusion, and his executors were delighted to sell everything. He
had, again, in artistic spheres, conceived a violent passion for the pictures
of Giovanni Bollini, and an impecunious peer, foreseeing that income taxes and
death duties were swelling like inflated footballs, had sold him his priceless
collection, which now hung round the walls of his dining-room. Finally, on this
particular evening, when he felt very much disinclined to go out, Providence
had sent a fog to serve as an excuse for stopping in. And yet bridge was rather
a stale affair. There was a certain intellectual pleasure in thwarting other
people, but it was not much fun being clever when the rest were, comparatively
speaking, such fools.
His private band had been
assembled in the gallery of the ballroom, in case music was required, but they
had been dismissed, since the four went straight from the dining-room into the
fan-room, where a card-table was laid out. These fans were famous, and had once
been the property of Marie Antoinette and other ladies, whose goods had been disposed
of after their death by their executors or executioners, and Arthur Whately had
acquired them at immense expense during the year of his married life to please
his wife.
Shortly after he divorced
her, an attempt had been made by a burglar to steal them, but an ingenious
device, invented by himself after his wife’s departure, had impeded the idea,
for anyone entering the fan-room after the apparatus had been set caused merry
peals of electric bells to break out in the rooms of the butler, footmen, odd
man and other able-bodied persons, and the intended burglar had been caught
fan-handed. But his confession that the late Mrs. Whately had commissioned him
to attempt this job so interested Arthur Whately that he took no proceedings
with regard to him, except to give him supper. His wife, simultaneously, rose
considerably in his estimation; he had not known she had so much blood in her.
The fan-room overlooked the
Park, and regardless of possible interpretations Arthur Whately had straw
permanently put down in the roadway to deaden the noise of traffic. There had
been a ruffle with the vestry on the subject of this straw. Men with pitchforks
came and took it up. But as often as they took it up he had it renewed, and by
now it had become as much a feature of Park Lane as the omnibuses. Occasionally
a policeman, new to the beat and fired by professional enthusiasm, would
question the straw-strewers, but the mystic whisper, “A friend of Mr.
Whately’s,” had the forcefulness and wit of brevity about it.
The game was tepid; not even
his opponent’s remarkable and reiterated revoke in no-trumps really warmed it,
and Arthur Whately was glad when his guests departed, for, unaccustomed as he
was to brooding over imaginary troubles or dulling his very acute brain with
the narcotic poisoning of self-analysis, he was a little anxious about himself
to-night, and was glad of a quiet hour before going to bed to examine the cause
of his disquietude. It was still early when they left, for there was a dance
somewhere to which the two ladies with the irrepressible enthusiasm of advanced
middle-age were going on, while the financier was going home. On the doorstep he
confided to his host that his name was to appear next morning among the
peerages given in honour of the King’s Birthday, and Arthur Whately supposed he
was going to seek the privacy of his own study to practise writing his new
name, which was to be Peebles, in memory of pleasure.
He adjusted the bell-pealing
apparatus in the fan-room, and retired to his own sitting-room, which adjoined
his bedroom. Half a dozen exquisite Watteaus decorated the walls, and the
bureau which stood opposite the door was from the effects of the unfortunate
Queen of France. Often and often he had thrilled at the thought that she
had sat there and written those little ill-spelled notes in her sprawling hand,
but to-night he would not have cared if he had found her sitting there in
person.
Tædium vitæ, the weariness, the boredom
of success, which poisons the lives of emperors and scratch golfers, had laid
its heavy hand on him. He had poached the world like an egg. But he could find
no salt....
So it was that which ailed
him. Often of late he had found he had little zest for this pursuit or that,
but it had not struck him till this moment that the whole affair was flat. And
yet it was not himself, so he felt, that was to blame. He was still but a year
or two past fifty, handsome and healthy, and his powers of enjoyment he knew
were undimmed, provided only he could find something to exercise them on. In
himself he was eager, alert, longing for excitement, but to do the same thing
over and over again did not excite him; the early years of hunger and struggle
and achievement had accustomed him to a high level of emotion. He wanted to
burn, not to smoulder quietly away, as most people were content to do.
Indeed, he had done
everything he could think of. He had loved and married, and been bored, and had
no intention of tempting the ennui of domesticity again. Nor
had he any tastes for the more irregular pleasures of the senses; they were all
poached and saltless. Material possessions, of course, had ceased to
interest him, since he was completely surrounded with all that he thought most
exquisite in the world of art, and to accumulate for the mere sake of
accumulation seemed to him an exhibition of pig-trough greed. And it was so
easy; he could buy anything that was for sale. Perhaps if Mr. Morgan or some
insatiable hoarder owned a desirable piece or picture and would not part with
it at any price, he might find a secret rapture in attempting to steal it, just
as his wife had done with the fans, but otherwise the act of acquisition had become
too easy to be any longer agreeable.
Everything wanted salt, but
that was the fault of the objective world. He, subjectively, had as good an
appetite as on the entranced and canonized evening when he stole the
pocket-book of the silly pink man, that unconscious founder of his fortunes,
who, vastly sillier than ever, had dined with him only last week, and had had a
fatal apoplectic seizure immediately afterwards.
To-night he almost cursed
his memory for his foolishness thirty-five years ago, for it was that theft
which had led to this weariness. If only the poor pink departed had caught him
and given him a taste of gaol, Arthur Whately felt that he might now be
rapturously pursuing the thrilling hazardous paths of the hardened criminal, to
whom every house is a possible crib to be cracked, every jewel in a woman’s
necklace a week of delirium and drunken debauch. But where is the fun of
stealing if you already own more than you can possibly want?
In his mind he swiftly ran
through the ten commandments, and found, as he had feared, that it would not
give him the slightest pleasure to break any of them. There might be a little
excitement about bearing false witness against your neighbour, but then that
would entail appearing in a law court and listening to the pitiful humour of
some fussy judge. As for the rest of the commandments, they suggested nothing
amusing. There was nothing to be done with the fifth, because his father and
mother had been dead for years; the sixth implied blood and violence, and violence
was foreign to his nature. But for a moment he lingered over the picture of
strangling Lord Peebles and burying him in the straw in Park Lane. There was
something grotesquely attractive in the notion, but probably the coroner’s jury
would give their verdict that he had been strangled by natural causes, and that
death had been accelerated by the immediate prospect of a peerage.
He himself had thrice been
offered a peerage, once by the Liberals, once by the Conservatives, and once
prospectively by the Labour Party. His invariable answer had been that previous
engagements prevented him accepting their kind invitation. That had amused him
at the time; now it seemed deplorably witless. But could he not devise
something for Lord Peebles that should spoil his pleasure? Why should Lord
Peebles have that secret twinkle in his eye? Why should he, at his age, be
still enjoying life? Whately felt a murderous impulse towards his friend’s
mirth.
But he could think of
nothing, and with a sigh he took up a copy of that unique journal which is so
justly famed for chronicling that which has not occurred and prophesying that
which will not possibly happen, and scarcely glancing at the leader, probably
inspired by Ananias, and the fashionable intelligence, certainly gleaned by
Sapphira, he turned to the more reliable records of the police courts. There
had been a brutal murder—apparently the transgression of the sixth commandment
was not wholly unattractive to people less tiresomely fastidious than
himself—and a certain blameless archdeacon whom he knew slightly had, after the
receipt of a series of threatening letters, to which answers were requested to
be sent (accompanied by stout remittances) to A. M., Martin’s Library, Wardour
Street, reluctantly taken proceedings against the blackmailer, who had been
rewarded with five years of enforced seclusion.
Arthur Whately wondered
whether he himself would have the courage to prosecute a blackmailer. Probably
not; with his wealth it would be easier to satisfy the most rapacious. It was
brave of the archdeacon; no doubt his artificially fostered sense of duty
sustained him.
His thoughts wandered on as
he stared at the newspaper. Would he himself ever have the courage to blackmail
anyone else? It must be the most exciting game, and to play it successfully
would demand an extraordinary amount of intuition and knowledge of human
nature. All depended on the character of your proposed victim. It would be as
hopeless to try to extract money with threats out of some men, however scarlet
the secrets of which you had possessed yourself, as, singlehanded, to extract a
lion’s teeth. Others, no doubt, would equally certainly yield at once to the
most veiled menace....
Suddenly the paper which he
held began to rustle with the involuntary tremor of the hand that held it, and
an eager excitement shot up like the light of a petroleum-soaked beacon in his
dulled eye. He need no longer seek for agitation. He had found, when he least
expected it, the answer to his fruitless appeals to the universe to supply him
with interest. In the excitement of the moment he poured a liberal dose of
whisky into a tumbler, but next minute poured it back. He had to keep his head
cool; artificial stimulant only led to subsequent reaction and torpidity of
thought. But through the prison bars his spirit grasped hands with the
archdeacon’s victim. He would certainly blackmail somebody.
There were two questions to
settle. Whom should he blackmail, and what had his victim done? A moment’s
incisive thought told him that the second question, as to what the supposed
crime had been, was alien and superfluous. The poor man need not have done
anything. He need only be told that the events which occurred between, say,
August 2 and August 10 of the year before last were known to his persecutor.
All else depended on the selection of a suitable victim. If an unsuitable
subject was chosen, one whose life (could such be found) was of virtue so
monstrously Spartan, that he would not mind the events of August 2 to 10, or
those of any other date, being known, it was clearly impossible to proceed. On
the other hand, if his life was so voluminous a catalogue of crime that there
were terrible affairs in every week of it, a notified period like this would
create no particular impression.
Yes, it was the character of
the victim that must be studied if the æsthetic blackmailer was to have any
fun, for, of course, in the case of Arthur Whately, the mere extraction of two
or three hundred pounds (thousands, perhaps, if his prey was wealthy) meant
nothing at all. And the largest ingredient in the fun would be the uncertainty
as to how the victim would behave, whether he would take proceedings or pay. He
must therefore be cast in no iron mould; there would be little sport in writing
just one letter and then being sent to join the poor worm so grindingly crushed
by the heel of the valiant archdeacon, nor, on the other hand, would there be
any zest in the punctual receipts of cheques whenever demanded. He had to think
of somebody not too good and not too bad, not too brave and yet not
pigeon-livered. For a while his mind hovered, singing like a skylark in the
exultation of this absorbing preoccupation, then suddenly it dropped to earth
again. There was none so fit as Lord Peebles.
His hand trembled for the
pen that was mightier than the sword, and after a few moments’ concentrated
thought, he dashed off these cold, cruel lines, which would serve as the basis
for attack:
My Lord,—While congratulating your lordship on the well-deserved honour
which the King has paid you, I feel it my duty to let your lordship know that
the events which took place between August 2 and August 10 of the year before
last are completely in the possession of the undersigned, and are supported by
documentary evidence of such sort that nobody who saw it could ever doubt its
authenticity. I am prepared to give up to you all such papers as are in my
possession for the sum of £2,000.
I am a poor man, and a
desperate one, but am strictly honourable in all business matters such as this,
and on receipt of that sum in gold I will strictly carry out
my obligations. Should your lordship take no notice of this communication or
refuse to comply with my request, the whole affair will be made public.
I am well aware that I put
myself within reach of the law in thus addressing you, but I would ask your
lordship carefully to consider the results to yourself if you prosecute me. The
circumstances of which I am possessed will then all come out, and while it
matters very little to me whether I pass the next few years in prison or not, I
think that the consequences to you will not be so lightly regarded by self and
family. You have a great deal to lose; I have nothing.
Kindly communicate with me
at Martin’s Library, Wardour Street, by to-day week at latest. Having no club
or settled address at present, I call there daily for letters and occasional
parcels.—Faithfully yours,
George
Loring.
In obedience to the
business-like qualities which had raised him to the position of
multi-millionaire his mind instantly went into committee over details. It was
but very rarely that he employed his own hand in writing, for his
correspondence was entirely dealt with by secretaries and typewriters, but it
would be well to disguise his ordinary caligraphy. Or, stop—there was a safer
way, and the next minute the Remington typewriter which stood in the corner of
the room was opened and gleamed with bared keys. He was no adept at this
clattering finger-exercise, but after a few abortive trials he made a
clumsy transcript of the letter, and directed an envelope by the same
mechanical device.
Already the cautious
instincts of the habitual criminal had awoke in him, and after replacing the
cover on the typewriter he carefully burned both his manuscript draft and the insane
gibberish of his first typed attempts, and opening his window let the blackened
ashes float down into the straw-covered roadway. It would never do, again, to
let the incriminating document lie among the other letters for post, and he hid
it below the shirts in a wardrobe drawer in his bedroom in order to post it
himself at some central letter-box next morning after verifying the existence
of Martin’s Library. Then, since it was already very late, he went to bed with
eager anticipation for the morrow and many morrows.
The next week was full of
delightful interests; it passed in a spasm of absorbing moments, and he was
astonished and disgusted at himself for not having entered sooner on a course
of blackmail. True artist that he was, he did not pay constant visits to
Martin’s Library, as soon as it was possible that there might be an answer to
his letter, and ask if there was anything for George Loring, but with a higher
æstheticism, preferred to taste the delights of suspense, and determined not to
make any inquiries till the notified week had elapsed. But he could not avoid
haunting Wardour Street, picturing to himself with artistic gusto his
official visit to the library. Once only was the flesh too strong, and, though
the week of grace had not yet expired, he could not resist the temptation of
entering the library.
The shop was empty, and,
somewhat to his disappointment, showed no lines of filled and fitted shelves,
as he had hoped. He had imagined the smell of leather bindings, bookcases full
of venerable volumes of the fathers, a dignified and courtly librarian.
Instead, he found a small deal counter, on which were displayed the more odious
of penny publications, and a stout old woman of comfortable appearance looked
up from her knitting as he entered. But behind her—and his heart beat quicker
at the sight—were rows of capacious pigeon-holes, each initialled with a letter
of the alphabet. But, even as she asked him in a hoarse, fruity voice what she
could do for him, he called on his finer instincts again, and instead of asking
if there happened to be anything for George Loring, contented himself with
buying “Society Pars” and “Frivol and Fashion.” With these prints in his hand,
he left the shop without even looking at letter L.
But after all, perhaps, the
commonplace sordidness of the establishment was of greater artistic value than
his preconceived idea of it; it was a grimmer affair like this; it was more
piquant, more trenchant that white-faced men, trembling and unmanned by the
possibility of dreadful disclosures coming to light, should bring their
forfeits to this ordinary little establishment, that their unseen and terrible
persecutor should ask for letters from a comfortable old lady over a dingy deal
counter.
Hardly had he emerged when
there drove by a motor in which, of all people, Lord Peebles was sitting, who
waved an absent welcome to him. He saw at once how dangerous had been his
visit. Supposing he had asked for letters for George Loring and had staggered
out of the shop with a scarcely manageable parcel of gold, to encounter such a
meeting, it was distinctly within the bounds of possibility that that nobleman
would connect him with George Loring. His blood ran cold at the thought, and
yet it was a pleasing shiver which at once suggested a further precaution,
delightful in the devising. A disguise was imperatively necessary.
He hailed a taxicab and
spent an enraptured afternoon. George Loring had probably done this sort of
thing before, and it might be supposed that though poor and desperate, he
retained from the fruits of his last crime clothes of a flashy and ill-fitting
description. Such as he would certainly wear a gaudy check suit and cheap
patent leather boots. His tie, of the Brussels carpet type, would assuredly be
pinned with something too magnificent to be possibly valuable; detachable cuffs
and dicky, a hat with a furrow in it would complete his detestable array. Arthur
Whately himself was clean shaven and solidly English in face; a moustache and
imperial, therefore, suggesting a Polish conjurer were indicated. These must be
of convincing make, incapable of detection; and a visit to an expensive
perruquier’s, with a brilliant tale of a fancy-dress ball, made the last visit
of a thrilling afternoon. And that night, when the great house in Park Lane was
silent, and the electrical apparatus in the fan-room adjusted, a figure,
appalling to contemplate, strutted and pirouetted before the big looking-glass
in his locked bedroom.
All this, so exquisite to
his pleasure-jaded palate, was but the material aspect of his adventure. Far
sweeter and more recondite was the psychical honey of it. For, two days after
George Loring had sent his letter, Lord Peebles telephoned to know whether
Arthur Whately would play golf with him, and though he detested and despised
the game, he gave an enthusiastic affirmative, and drove down with him to the
Mid-Surrey links at Richmond. Certainly Lord Peebles looked worried and
anxious, and the grey streak above his ears seemed to the vigilant eye of his friend
to have assumed greater prominence.
“It’s so good of you to ask
me to play,” said Whately as they started. “I am a wretched performer, and I
know your prowess.”
“Oh, I expect we shall have
a very even match, a very even match,” said the other. “And I needed a day off,
though it is not Saturday. But there has been some worrying business
lately, and I wanted to get into the country and forget all about it. Very
worrying business.”
Whately’s eye gleamed
secretly; these worries fed his soul.
“Indeed, I am sorry to hear
that,” he said.
“Thank you, thank you. A
purely private affair. Don’t let us talk of it. Pretty the country looks.
What’s that river we are crossing?”
“The River Thames,” said
Whately almost tremulously.
“Perhaps,” said Lord
Peebles.
He cleared his throat. “The
Thames,” he began, and then changed the subject to something amazingly foreign
to that topic.
“It is strange how one’s
memory plays tricks with one,” he said. “A couple of days ago I was
trying—quite idly—to recollect where I spent the early days of August the
summer before last, and was totally unable to recall what I had been doing. My
wife remembers that we went to Scotland on the 11th, but she, too, has quite
forgotten what we did just before. She inclines to think that I was paying some
visits without her. Curious!”
Arthur Whately laughed in a
sprightly, rallying manner.
“Ah, ah,” he said, “she is
probably right, eh? Trust a wife’s memory, my dear fellow, on that sort of
point.”
“No doubt she is right,”
returned the other, “but it is strange that we can neither of us recollect
where I went.”
“Perhaps you never told
her,” said Whately gaily. “But come, dismiss those evasive topics. Let the past
bury its dead. It is only the present that is truly ours.”
They had arrived at the club-house,
and Whately stepped out, followed by the heavier-footed peer. It was almost too
good to be true, that by sheer accident he had lighted on days that seemed hard
to account for, and, treading on air, he hurried into the dressing-room, where,
in momentary privacy, he was forced to indulge in a few toe-pointing capers of
delight. And, after all, though the emotions with which he had supplied his
friend were of anxious and ominous description, still, emotions after all, of
whatever sort, are the salt of life, and here was a new one for him, something
with a strong flavour about it. But he could afford to be generous, since he
himself was being so richly entertained, and he did not grudge him one pang of
the worry and anxiety inseparable from his position.
Arthur Whately’s golf was
generally of the most wayward description; he cut balls savagely to point and
topped them ventre à terre into cavernous bunkers, while Lord
Peebles played a dreadfully steady game, that, as a rule, walked arm-in-arm
with bogey round the links. But to-day a strange upset of form took place,
for while Lord Peebles seemed unable to hit any ball in the requisite direction
or with the requisite force, Arthur Whately, by virtue of the inscrutable laws
that govern golf, performed with incredible excellence, and not unnaturally
concluded that blackmailing is very good for the eye. Not for years had he felt
so keenly the zest and ecstasy of living, and while watching his unfortunate
opponent digging his ball out of tussocks of rank grass and eviscerating
bunkers, he planned many similar adventures for the future. He felt as if he
had awoke at last to his true nature; by accident he was a millionaire and the
architect of his own colossal fortune, but by instinct and birth he seemed to be
an æsthetic criminal. And the discovery had come upon him, though late, yet not
too late. There might be many ecstatic years in store for him yet.
The days of that enchanted
week passed slowly, and each moment that brought him nearer Friday morning,
when he would don his atrocious disguise and visit Martin’s Library, brought
him no nearer any firm conjectures as to what he should find there. It so
happened that he met his victim several times in the course of the week, and
if, as on the occasion of their golf match, his mental and physical aspect
seemed to indicate that he would assuredly lack the courage of the archdeacon
and obediently pay his fine, on other occasions he showed a calmness and
control that was consistent with more aggressive proceedings. To Whately’s
knowledge he transacted during that week a very difficult and intricate
financial undertaking that caused certain bankers in Berlin to curse his
acumen, and later he won the Mid-Surrey monthly medal, which looked as if his
aberration had been only temporary. And the uncertainty and suspense thrilled
and fascinated his persecutor.
It was about twelve o’clock
on the Friday morning that a dejected four-wheeler stopped opposite Martin’s
Library, and the ambulatory population of Wardour Street, accustomed to all
manner of eccentricities, looked with wonder at the garish figure that emerged.
Two hours before, Arthur Whately had set off from Park Lane with a small
portmanteau and had driven to the Charing Cross Hotel, having adjusted
moustache and imperial with the aid of a small looking-glass in the cab, and
had taken a room for a widower of the name of George Loring, paying for one
night’s habitation. There he had effected his change of clothes and left the
valise containing the outer garments of Arthur Whately, at present in a state
of suspended existence.
He entered the library with
a strutting martial air, and, as once before, the comfortable old lady looked
up from her knitting and asked how she could serve him.
“I have called for letters
and parcels for Mr. George Loring,” said Whately in a falsetto voice, which
was the result of diligent practice. But a glance at pigeon-hole L showed him
that it was empty....
“Yes, parcel and letter for
Mr. George Loring,” said the old dame, “but the parcel was too big to put in
the pigeon-hole, let alone lifting it. So I put them together somewhere. Deary
me, now, where was it?”
“This is a strange way to
conduct a public library,” said Whately, forgetting all about the assumed
falsetto, “that the librarian should not know where she has deposited the
property of her subscribers. Mr. Martin would be far from pleased. I am pressed
for time, madam. Business in the city——”
The old lady turned slowly
round and beamed on him.
“And if I wasn’t sitting on
it all the time,” she said, “just for safety, as you may say. There, young man,
you’ll find it heavy, and there’s sixpence to pay.”
“A most reasonable charge,
madam,” said Whately. “And—and can you tell me who left the parcel—what he
looked like?”
She nodded at him.
“Such a fur coat I never
see,” she said, “and his motor fair stopped the traffic. I didn’t take much
account of his face, though I would swear to a beard.”
“A shrewd observer!” said
Whately in his most genial tones, and staggering out of the shop with his
parcel, deposited it on his own toe as he stepped into the cab. The pain
was severe, and for the moment damped his ecstasy and caused him a loss of
self-control.
“Charing Cross Hotel, you
old idiot!” was his unjustifiable direction to his cabman.
As he drove there he tore
open the note. It ran as follows:
“Dear Sir,—You have me completely
in your power, and I send the money you demand. Kindly forward me at once the
documentary evidence you speak of.
Faithfully yours,
Peebles.”
Again he felt vaguely disappointed.
The fish had given him less play than he hoped; he had but towed its sulking
carcass to land. But, then, he did not know that there followed him, threading
the intricacies of traffic close behind him, a taxicab in which was sitting a
quiet-looking gentleman with pince-nez. Its destination also appeared to be
Charing Cross Hotel.
The hall porter opened the
door of his cab, and Whately indicated his parcel.
“Move that into the bureau,
if you will be so kind,” he said. “It contains a—a model, a metal model, and is
heavy. I am going upstairs to change my clothes, and will be down again in ten
minutes.”
Less time than that was
sufficient for him to resume the habiliments of Arthur Whately, and stow the
apparel of the vanished George Loring in his bag. His imperial and moustache he
still wore, for it was his intention to use depilatory measures in the cab
which took him back to Park Lane lest the complete transformation might prove
too staggering for the hall porter. This time he himself took the parcel, a
wooden box, clearly, wrapped up in brown paper, to his cab, put it, not on his
own foot, but on the seat opposite, and genially told the driver to take him to
Park Lane. Close behind him followed the taxicab containing the gentleman with
pince-nez, modest, secluded, and unobserved. And from a few doors off he saw
Mr. Arthur Whately, burdened with the parcel he had brought from Wardour
Street, stagger into his own house. His business seemed to be not yet finished,
for having seen him home he drove back to an office in the City, and was at
once taken in to see the head of the firm. His interview lasted about half an
hour, and he left behind him when he went a very much astonished gentleman,
over whose mobile face a succession of queer secret smiles chased one another
like gleams of sunshine on a cloudy day. Excellent business man though he was,
he gave for the rest of the day but a tepid attention to his work.
Arthur Whately meantime was
closeted with his gold. With the aid of a pair of nail-scissors (for prudence
counselled secrecy) he succeeded in raising the lid of the box, and found it
packed inside with smooth, discreet little sausages of white paper. A couple of
these he unfolded, and from each flowed out a stream of clinking sovereigns. In
each were a round hundred, and the little sausages were twenty in number. He
put a liberal handful of gold in his pocket; he locked the rest into the safe
that stood in the bedroom. And those two thousand pounds were somehow sweeter
to him than his whole unnumbered fortune: they seemed to him the reward of a
cleverness that was more peculiarly his own than that which had amassed so huge
a harvest in South African mines and American options. They were doubly sweet,
for they were both the fruit of secret criminal processes and had been wrung by
terror out of his friend.
He lunched out that day. His
soul basked in the heaven of high animal spirits which had so long been lost to
him, and in the stimulus which the last week had brought to him he felt like a
peri who had regained Paradise. Perhaps reaction would come, but for the
present it held aloof, and in case it did he could always, as he phrased it to
himself as he walked lightly down Bond Street, apply the squeezers again to
poor Peebles. The vocabulary as well as the spirits of a schoolboy had come
back to him; long-forgotten slang tripped off his tongue, and he examined
shop-windows with eager enthusiasm. There was a beautiful Charles II. rat-tail
spoon in a shop of old silver, and he entered and bought it, paying for it on
the spot with fifteen of his newly acquired sovereigns. The purchase gave him
more pleasure than any he had made for years: it was the fruit of his splendid
stroke of blackmail.
At another shop he bought
for five pounds a charming figure of a seagull in Copenhagen china. Lord
Peebles had a collection of this pale fabric, and his friend felt it would be a
privilege to add to it. That also was paid for in gold, and after he had left
each shop a quiet man entered and conferred privately with the proprietor,
leaving a companion outside, who strolled after the millionaire.
Returning home, he sent out
a number of invitations for a dinner party in ten days’ time. A royal princess
had intimated that she would like to dine with him that night, and he included
in his invitations Lord and Lady Peebles, both of whom were snobs of “purest
ray serene.” Later on he would ask them again to some similar function, for he
felt that two such invitations would make full compensation for the anxiety he
had caused. He did not regard the bagatelle of gold; that meant nothing to
either of them. Then after an hour with his beautiful collection of Greek coins
he dressed and went out to dinner.
Lord Peebles was of the
party, and the two cut into a table of bridge afterwards, and played for a
couple of hours, with luck distinctly against the newly created peer. Generally
his losses caused him exquisite agony: being very rich, he could not bear to be
ever so little poorer. But to-night he laid down a couple of ten-pound notes
with a smile.
“I pay you, my dear
Whately,” he said, “fourteen pounds, is it not? I wonder if you can give me
six.”
Whately could and did.
“You have had the worst of
luck,” he observed genially, “but it’s only a game. By the way, I hope I shall see
you and your wife to dinner on the 23rd. I sent you an invitation this
evening.”
Lord Peebles took up his
change and looked rather carefully at each sovereign in turn, as if to question
its genuineness.
“Curious thing,” he said,
“each of these sovereigns is marked. There is a small capital ‘P’ scratched on
the field in front of St. George.”
He passed one over to
Whately, who felt as if some warning whistle had sounded remotely in his ears.
But he contrived to speak in his natural voice, and got up.
“I see,” he said; “I wonder
what that means. Bates gave me them just before I came out.”
“Indeed,” said Lord Peebles
negligently. “Yes, the 23rd would be delightful. Are you going?”
“Yes, I think I shall be
off,” said Whately.
He drove back to Park Lane,
and without setting the pleasant peal of electric bells in the fan-room,
went straight to his bedchamber and got out the box which had thrilled him with
such exquisite pangs of pleasure that morning. He stripped the paper off
sausage after sausage of gold, until his bed was piled with the precious metal.
And on each shining disc the same ominous discovery met his eye: just in front
of St. George’s head on every one that he took up was scratched a small capital
“P.”
He slept far from well that
night, for his mind, spinning madly like a whirling top, came into collision
with a series of hard angles of uncomfortable circumstances. He told himself
that it was inconceivable that his friend should have suspected him of the
odious crime of blackmailing, but his friend evidently when paying the ransom
had taken steps to trace its destination, with a view to the apprehension of
the criminal. By a most strange coincidence it was he, Arthur Whately, who had
supplied him with a clue, though he had had the presence of mind to say that
Bates had given him these six pieces of evidence.... Then with a pang of alarm
that made him sit bolt upright in bed, he remembered that there were four more
of them in the shop where they sold china cats and seagulls, fifteen more in
the silversmith’s, where he had bought the Charles II. spoon, and two others in
the hair-cutting establishment in St. James’s Street, where he had so lightly purchased
a safety-razor and a small indiarubber sponge. At all costs he must repossess
himself of these, and how was that to be done? In this short summer night there
was scarcely time, even if he had had the tools, to make a series of
single-handed burglaries, yet if he did not get those accursed sovereigns back,
he was letting the tap of evidence drip and drip and drip. What, again, was the
use of those nineteen hundred and odd sovereigns on his bed if he could not put
them in circulation without multiplying the evidence already in existence? The
suspense of the last week, it is true, had been thrilling and delicious, but it
appeared now that there were at least two sorts of suspense, and the other,
though quite as thrilling, was not so pleasant. Sinking into an uneasy slumber,
he dreamed of skilly.
Haggard and unshaven (in
spite of the new safety-razor), he was in Bond Street next morning early, with
cheque-book and bank-notes in his pocket. The shop that dealt in old silver was
only just open, and he went hurriedly in.
“I am Mr. Whately,” he said,
“Mr. Whately, of Park Lane. Dear me, that is a very pretty tankard. A hundred
pounds only! Please send it round to me to No. 93. The fact is, a rather
curious thing has happened. I bought a Charles II. spoon here yesterday
afternoon and paid for it in sovereigns. For certain curious, I may say family,
reasons, I very much want those sovereigns back again. There are sentimental
associations with them, you understand. Could you kindly let me have them back
and take my cheque or bank-notes in exchange?”
The shopman laughed.
“Well, sir, a very curious
thing happened here too,” he said brightly. “You had hardly left the shop when
a gentleman came in and asked if I could let him have any change for some
bank-notes. There were your sovereigns lying in the till, and I gave him them
all. I offered him five more as well, but after examining those he said he did
not want more than fifteen.”
Arthur Whately couldn’t
suppress a slight groan.
“That was very precipitate
of you,” he said. “What was the gentleman like? Was it—a stout, dark-faced
gentleman with yellowish hair and—and probably a fur coat?”
“No, sir, a clean-shaven
gentleman with a sharp sort of face.”
“Not Peebles,” said Whately
to himself, as he skimmed out of the shop. “It may still only be a
coincidence.”
The shop of Danish china was
open, and again he told his lame and unconvincing tale. Here again the fever
for gold had run riot yesterday afternoon, and a gentleman with a big moustache
had taken five sovereigns and left a bank-note. And his scuttling footsteps
took him to the aseptic hairdresser’s.
“I am fighting single-handed
against a positive gang of these wretches,” was his bitter comment.
But the aseptic
hairdresser’s was still shut, and after ringing several wrong bells belonging
to different floors, he gave up in despair and went home to the mocking
splendour of No. 93. A fresh-faced stable-boy was just laying down the straw in
the street, whistling as he plied his nimble pitchfork. Whately wondered
whether he would ever whistle again.
For an hour he sat there
lost in a scorching desert of barren thought. Visions of oakum and broad arrows
flitted through his disordered mind, and every now and then he came to himself
as some fresh circumstance of dawning significance rapped on his brain.
Once he hurried upstairs,
remembering that the awful attire of George Loring still lurked in a locked
cupboard of his bedroom, and he took the criminal’s coat and stuffed it in the
fire in his sitting-room, with the intention of burning all that costume which
had seemed so exquisitely humorous. But the coat seemed impervious to flames,
and it was not till a quarter of an hour later that he came downstairs again
with roasted face. Even then there were trousers and shirt and patent leather
boots to get rid of, and trouser buttons and the base metal of his gorgeous
tie-pin would be found amid the ashes. And even when it was all done, he would
only have destroyed one thread of evidence, leaving a network of imperishable
circumstance unimpaired.
Truly there was a dark side
to the game on which he had so lightly embarked, which the callous world could
not ever so faintly appreciate, or would probably but imperfectly sympathize
with even if it did.
But for the sake of saving
his sanity he had to occupy himself with something, and after vainly attempting
to follow the meaning of a leader in the Times, he began reading,
purely as a “sad narcotic exercise,” the Agony column. And then he fairly
bounded from his seat, as the following met his eye:
“To George Loring. A packet
of marked sovereigns, twenty-eight in number, will be forwarded to the
above-named at any address or given to a messenger who hands to Mr. Arthur
Armstrong (resident for this day only at the Charing Cross Hotel) the sum of
£4,000 (four thousand) in bank-notes or bullion.”
He groaned aloud.
“It spells beggary,” he said
to himself, “but I must have those sovereigns. But let me see first whether
twenty-eight is the full tale of them,” and he snatched up a piece of paper and
wrote:
To Lord Peebles |
6 |
Silver Shop |
15 |
Copenhagen China |
5 |
Haircutting place |
2 |
|
28 |
and at that, in spite of the ruinous expense,
his heart bounded high within him. It was wiser not to appear himself (he had,
so it struck him, appeared rather too frequently already), and sending for his
secretary he scrawled a cheque for £4,000, and bade him have it changed into
bank-notes and take it at once to the Charing Cross Hotel. There he would ask
for a certain Mr. Arthur Armstrong, who would give him a packet containing
twenty-eight marked sovereigns.
“It concerns a widowed aunt
of mine,” he added, “and I cannot tell you more. Speed and secrecy are
essential to save her from ruin.”
The zealous secretary was
back within an hour, and with a sob of relief Whately, when he was alone,
opened the packet he brought. Next moment with a hollow groan he spilled the
contents all over the table. The sovereigns were marked indeed, but each of
them had neatly incised on it, not a “P” but an interrogation mark. Back went
the zealous secretary again to explain that these were not the right ones, and,
if necessary, to implore Mr. Arthur Armstrong, for the sake of his mother, to
give up the others. He was soon home again with the news that Mr. Arthur
Armstrong had already quitted the hotel, leaving no address.
Later on that abject day
there arrived a note from Lord Peebles, saying that it was doubtful whether he could
come to dinner on the 23rd. Events, at present private, might render it
impossible. But he would like a game of golf at Richmond next day if Whately
was at liberty.
Again this proposal of a
recreation detestable in itself and intolerable to one with shaking hand and
trembling knees! Yet if Peebles had proposed a game of leap-frog Whately could
not be so imprudent as to refuse, for at all costs he must keep up friendly
relations. He had half a mind (but not the other half) to tell his friend that
it was indeed he who had attempted to blackmail him, for a joke, and that the
retaliation was getting beyond one. But it was not certain as yet that a
confession was necessary; there was nothing to show that Lord Peebles had
identified him with George Loring. It looked like it; it looked uncommonly like
it, but what proof had he? Whately, it is true, had given him half a dozen of
his own marked sovereigns, and no doubt Peebles knew that he had expended others
on Copenhagen china, Charles II. silver and American articles of toilet, but
that was all. It certainly was a good deal——
There is no need to dwell on
his further anguish. The game of golf was a cruel parody of sport, and Peebles
was in his most pompous mood, speaking of the House of Lords as “we.” At other
times he spoke with strange persistence of the horrors of English prisons, and
mentioned that he had been appointed visitor to Wormwood Scrubs. Whately
did not know with any accuracy where that was, but Peebles described exactly
how you could get to it. Long-sentence men stayed there.
Another day he would see or
think he saw a stranger watching his house. Sometimes a second would join him,
and if one was clean-shaven and the other had a moustache, Whately’s heart
would leap to his throat and creakingly pulsate there. His appetite failed him;
his brushes were full of shed hair; dew suddenly broke out on his forehead. And
seven dreadful days passed.
Then the end came.
Lord Peebles telephoned to
him asking if he could see him on important business, and of course a welcoming
affirmative was given.
“You appear far from well,
my dear Whately,” he said, looking anxiously at him, “far from well. A little
dieting, do you think, a little regular work, a little abstention from
alcohol?”
Whately gave a haggard
glance out of the window. It was a foggy morning, and in the roadway he could
but faintly distinguish a large black van which had approached noiselessly over
the straw and now stood there. At that sight there was no longer any doubt in
his mind that Peebles had adopted the ruthless archidiaconal attitude towards
blackmailers, and was going to have him arrested. But harassed and unnerved as
he was by a succession of sleepless nights and nightmare days, he still
despised and refused to parley with the conventional narrowness of his accuser.
Yet Lord Peebles still wore his pleased and secret smile, and it was not good
manners to look like that in the act of committing a friend to a convict
prison. Whately drew himself up and spoke with wonderful steadiness and
dignity.
“I see it’s all up!” he
said, “and that I shall soon get all the things you so feelingly recommend. But
after all I had a perfectly amazing week when I waited for your answer. I don’t
deny that you have given me an awful week, too, or that there are many rather
cheerless weeks in front of me. It’s no use my attempting to explain; you would
never understand. Your soul doesn’t rise above sovereigns.”
Lord Peebles came a step
nearer him, looking vexed.
“For those remarks,” he
said, “you deserve to be treated as—as you deserve. You don’t seem to realize
that I have had a week of the most thrilling enjoyment. You think that nobody
has a sense of humour except yourself. That attitude of yours has often annoyed
me, for I have a remarkably keen one, and for pure æsthetic pleasure I have
just had the week of my life. The fact that it was sugared with revenge hardly
enhanced it at all, nor did the fact that whereas you got two thousand pounds
out of me, I got four thousand out of you. You have been like a monkey
dancing on a hot plate. I have been the hot plate.”
Whately was scarcely
listening; with chattering teeth he looked at the huge ominous van in the
street, and Lord Peebles followed his gaze.
“You deserve that that van
should be Black Maria,” he went on in injured tones, “to take you to Wormwood
Scrubs, where I am visitor.”
“Is—isn’t it?” asked
Whately.
Lord Peebles peered into the
fog.
“The harmless, necessary
pantechnicon,” he said.
Then he subsided into a
chair and his great bulk began to shake with spasms of ungovernable laughter.
And gradually the colour came back to Whately’s face, and shortly after an
uncertain smile hovered on his mouth.
“And is it all over?” he
asked.
Lord Peebles took a small
sausage of sovereigns out of his pocket.
“I brought these along with
me,” he said, “please count them; they are all marked, and there are
twenty-eight of them. I will exchange them with those you possess marked with
an interrogation point.”
“You shall!” said Whately.
“God bless you!”
“I was not certain, when I
came here,” continued Lord Peebles, disregarding this interruption, “whether I
should put you out of your suspense or not, but your haggard and emaciated
appearance, my dear fellow, decided me. Besides, I am two thousand pounds
to the good, or nearly so, for I owe some small sum to detectives. If I did not
have mercy on you, you would probably be too unwell to give your party for the
princess on the 23rd, and I should be sorry to miss that. Otherwise I might
have let you have a week or so more of excitement. I had several other little
notions, little tunes for you to dance to.”
“You shall sit next her,”
said Whately with quivering lips.
GENERAL
STORIES
1.THE DANCE ON THE BEEFSTEAK
This Midsummer day, the early hours of which were bathed in so serene a sunshine, has ended in storm and hurly-burly. Only this morning the general outlook was as unclouded as is now the velvet blue of the star-scattered Italian sky, but this evening our very souls are driven like dead leaves before a shrivelling blast. Nature, unsympathetic, indifferent, still holds on her great unruffled courses; the stars wheel, the north wind blows lightly from across the gulf; the little ripples shed themselves in lines of phosphorescent flame; Naples lies a necklace of light on the edge of the sea, the loveliness of the Southern night is undiminished. But Mrs. Mackellar has danced on the beefsteak, and she has dismissed Seraphina.
To the dweller in cities or
other light-minded and populous places this may appear but the most farcical of
tragedies, worthy of no more than the scoffing laugh of a passer-by. But such
do not know Mrs. Mackellar, nor Seraphina, nor life in Alatri. For in Alatri as
a rule nothing happens—certainly nothing unpleasant—our lives are as smooth as
the halcyon summer seas, and it will, I am afraid, be impossible to give to any
but the most imaginative reader an adequate idea of the devastating nature
of the catastrophe.... It will be necessary in any case to recount in brief the
events of the last twenty-four hours.
Yesterday afternoon we were
all en fête; Mrs. Mackellar gave a party for two reasons, either of
which was amply justifiable. The first was that the engagement of Seraphina her
cook to Antonio her man-servant was definitely sanctioned by her, and so made
food for public rejoicing; the second that Seraphina had been with her as cook
for an entire year. Now in Alatri servants do not, as a rule, stop with Mrs.
Mackellar more than a few weeks. Then they leave. There is no dissatisfaction
expressed and no public quarrel. They just lose their nerve and go away. But
the days had added themselves into weeks, and the weeks into months, and before
any of us knew where we were, Seraphina had been a year with Mrs. Mackellar.
Hence the party.
There were in fact two
parties, for Seraphina and Antonio entertained their friends in the kitchen,
while Mrs. Mackellar received on the house-roof. She is an immense Scotchwoman,
broad in bosom and in accent, and feels the heat acutely. Consequently when I
received an invitation for four o’clock on an afternoon in the middle of June,
it was clear that she must have a real desire to celebrate the event.
The Duchess of Alatri—to her
more intimate friends, Bianca—came with me by special invitation. Her
Grace is a huge white Campagna sheep-dog, so tall that she can, when sitting
down, put her chin on an ordinary dining-room table and eat your bread when you
are not looking. At rest she resembles a large rug (and as such is not
infrequently trodden on), and when in motion she resembles nothing that I have
ever seen. Her sole method of progression is a trot; she never walks, and she
cannot gallop, but the trot varies from a pace so surprisingly slow that she
appears only to be marking time, to that of the passage of an express train.
The other day she was investigating interesting smells in the piazza, when out
for a walk with me, and so got left behind. I did not miss her till I was some
half-mile away, and looking round saw a distant white speck where the road
leaves the town. I whistled shrilly on my fingers, and without appreciable
interval she was with me. She belongs not, alas, to me, but to an American, who
has left the enchanted island for the summer (unless perhaps it is more just to
say that he belongs to her), and committed Her Grace to my care. Her passions
are being combed, cheese and dancing.
This latter I discovered by
a happy accident. For the first afternoon that she was with me she was very
sorrowful, and though I ran up the Stars and Stripes on the flagstaff, instead
of the Union Jack, wondering if this would give her the thrill of home, she
remained dispirited. But shortly before going to bed, hoping in some vague way
to cheer her, and being myself futile, I danced round her, snapping my
fingers. The effect was magical. The rug shuffled swiftly to its feet, and
began gambolling. She jumped in the air, she turned briskly round and round,
she took little leaps with her head down like a bucking pony, she upset a small
table on which was standing an open tin of biscuits, and scarcely pausing to
sweep up the greater part with her tongue she lurched heavily into an
oleander-tub on the veranda, snapping the shrub off short. And when, about ten
minutes later, I sank into a chair breathless and exhausted, the Duchess was
herself again. Only once when passing her old home did she show any desire to
remain there, and even then I had but to execute two fantastic steps down the
path, when she gave a sort of choking cry, her apology for a bark, and came
after me behaving like a rocking-horse.
So Bianca and I went up the
steep path to Mrs. Mackellar’s shortly after four yesterday afternoon. She
lives in a stucco castle with battlements. There was already a tarantella going
on in the kitchen—Seraphina is a notable dancer—and Bianca brightened up. She
said, “This is the place for me,” and brushing rudely by me trotted down the
back-stairs and I saw her no more. So I went alone to the house-roof.
“All Alatri” was there, perspiring
under an Oriental awning, which Mrs. Mackellar had put up for the shelter of
her guests. It seemed calculated to concentrate the heat of the sun, and
to exclude all air. The German doctor, who has not left the island, even to go
to Naples, for nine years, was talking the native dialect to a Swedish painter;
the mysterious Russian widow who plays picquet every evening with her man cook
was chattering voluble French to a circle of mixed nationality; and Mrs.
Mackellar, resplendent in tartan, was treating bewildered listeners to the
Peebles speech. The ices had transformed themselves into a delicious
fruit-cream, and the sugar was melting like tallow off the cakes. We indulged
in the usual topics, the impossibility of leaving Alatri that summer, the
promise of a fine vintage, the apocryphal shark three metres long, whose dorsal
fin had appeared only a few yards from the shore of the Bagno, the iniquity of
servants in general, and the conspicuous virtue of Seraphina.
Mrs. Mackellar, in the
democratic spirit that helps to make Alatri so wildly interesting, had added
that when the feasting in the kitchen was over, and when no one wanted to eat
more ice-cream on the house-top, the party from below should join the party up
above, so that we all should be one on this happy occasion.
Accordingly, after a while
she leaned over the battlements of her castle, gave a loud war-cry, and up came
Seraphina’s party. She led the way with her promesso, in a state of
high hilarity, and all the servants of all Mrs. Mackellar’s guests brought up the
rear. There was no blushing possible, for everybody was scarlet with heat
already, and we split off into domestic groups. Francesco sat by me, and began
to tell me why nobody went to mass on this name day of St. John the Baptist.
This was interesting, but on the other side of me was Seraphina
discussing trousseau with her mistress, and the loud arresting
Italian of Mrs. Mackellar only permitted me to give half an ear to the story of
San Giovanni. However, Francesco could tell me about it again to-morrow, in
less distracted conditions, and when the discussion about the trousseau was
over (I had gathered several plums, un tartano di Edinborgo being
a fine one) I left.
Next morning I had a crisis
of affairs. In Alatri, if one has anything whatever that must be done, it, like
the grasshopper, becomes a burden. But I had several things that must be done,
and I was nearly crushed by the prospect. In the first place breakfast was
ready before I was out of bed and I therefore had to postpone shaving till
afterwards. This alone would have made a troublesome morning, but this was far
from all. On coming down I found two letters that had to be answered, one (and
I was sorry for my sins) containing an uncorrected proof, and while I was still
prostrate from the blow Francesco came in with household accounts. These, for
the sake of morality, I make it a rule to check (Francesco’s addition is always
right, mine always wrong), and thus it stood to reason that I should not
be able to start down to the sea to bathe till nearly eleven. However, “no
Briton’s to be baulked,” and I marched manfully across the thirsty desert of
affairs.
An hour in the sea and the
consciousness of duty done restored equanimity, and when after lunch Francesco
brought me coffee on to the veranda and seemed disposed to linger, I remembered
the half-heard story of San Giovanni.
“Tell it me again,” I said,
and Francesco told it.
“The signor must know,” he
said, “that in Italy there are many unbaptized children, and if San Giovanni
came to earth like the other saints on his name-day, he would be furious at
such neglect, and burn up the earth with fire. God knows this, and, being
unwilling that we should all suffer, he sends San Giovanni to sleep the day
before his name-day, so that he sleeps for eight days. Then when he wakes up he
says to God, ‘Is not my name-day yet?’ And God replies, ‘O San Giovanni, you
have been to sleep and your name-day is over while you slept. It will not come
again for another year.’ Thus it is that we do not go to mass on the day of San
Giovanni, for where is the use if he be asleep? But the priests say—Ah! has not
the Signor heard the news?” he broke off suddenly and excitedly.
“News! I have heard no
news.”
“How can I have forgotten?
The Signora Mackellar has danced on her beefsteak, and Seraphina is dismissed.
So when will she marry Antonio?”
Now the two things a
Southern Italian loves best are telling a story and causing a sensation. And it
was with the most exquisite enjoyment that Francesco continued, for both were
here combined.
“The market boat came in
from Naples this morning,” he said, “and on it was a fine beefsteak for the
Signora. Salvatore, the carrier, took it up, and it so was that both the
Signora and Seraphina were on the house-roof when he came, and the Signora was
ordering dinner. And it seems she was angry, so said Salvatore, at the cost of
the ice cream yesterday. So he was ordered to bring up the beefsteak, and the
Signora smelt it, and said it was not food for dogs. And Salvatore—you know he
is a sharp fellow—he replied ‘Indeed it is not food for dogs,’ meaning
thereby——”
“Yes, I understand,” I
interrupted.
Francesco was getting
gesticulative, and he went on with the fire of a prophet.
“Then gave the Signora the
beefsteak to Seraphina,” he cried, “and said ‘Smell it thou also.’ And
Seraphina, having smelt it, said, ‘Signora, it seems to me very good.’ At that
the Signora turned on her like one goaded and cried—‘Thou too art in the plot
to cheat me! To-day thou art no more my cook’; and as for the beefsteak—ecco!
And she threw it down, and danced upon it with both feet together, so that
the roof trembled. Also she said many strange words in her own tongue.”
And Francesco, like a true
artist, did not linger after making his point, but turned on his heel,
resisting even the temptation to talk it all over, and went into the house.
Here was a bolt from the
blue! The summer had begun, there would be no fresh visitors to Alatri till the
winter, and Seraphina would be out of place all these months. Antonio’s wages
would not keep them both, if Seraphina was out of place, and had to pay for her
board and lodging with some friend, and who knew whether Mrs. Mackellar’s wrath
would not spread like a devouring flood, and overwhelm Antonio also? Nothing
was more likely, for I remembered how on the dismissal of Mrs. Mackellar’s last
cook, her washing had been withdrawn from its customary manipulator, simply
because she was the cook’s cousin by marriage. How then should
Seraphina’s promesso escape? Already the smell of the marriage
bake-meats was in the air: they were like to eat them with a sauce of sorrow.
To attempt to interfere or to reason with Mrs. Mackellar was out of the
question. Her nose would go in the air, and she would say “Hoots!” Those who
had heard Mrs. Mackellar say “Hoots” seriously, knew what fear was.
Two days have passed after
that terrible dance of death on the house-roof, two days of paralysed
inaction. There was of course no other subject in the mouth of the folk, and grave
groups formed and reformed in the piazza and at Morgano’s, and looked at the
question this way and that like impotent conspirators wanting a plan of action.
I happened to be sitting at that café before dinner on the second evening, and
we were shaking our heads over it all when Mrs. Mackellar herself came snorting
and stamping round the corner. Like children detected in some forbidden
ecstasy, we all sank into silence. She did not even sit down to enjoy her
vermouth, but sipped it standing, with loud, angry sucking noises, as if it was
the life-blood of Seraphina.
We all froze under the
contempt of her blue tremendous eye, and then, most unfairly, she singled me
out, and pointing the finger of scorn, hissed at me:
“I ken fine what the hale
clamjanfry of ye has been talkin’ about,” she said, or words to that effect,
and, without deigning to translate, this tempestuous lady swept on her course.
She stepped so high in her indignation that the Duchess of Alatri, lying for
coolness’ sake on the pavement outside, thought that Mrs. Mackellar was dancing
for her, and rising to her feet, Her Grace trod a circular Saracenic measure.
Hardly pausing to swing a string-bag containing such comestibles as would be
easily rendered palatable without the aid of a cook, Mrs. Mackellar turned to me
again, and spoke in English in order that I might understand.
“If I were you,” she said,
“I should be ashamed to keep a dog that eats as much as six Christians, I’ll be
bound, be they Presbyterians or Roman Catholics.”... Even as she spoke, who
should come by but Seraphina herself? Though she had been hounded out of the
Casa Mackellar only yesterday, with every circumstance of ignominy and Highland
expressions, Seraphina, sunny and incapable of rudeness, gave her late employer
a little smile, and a little obeisance, and said, “Buona sera, Signora!”
Without the smallest doubt, Mrs. Mackellar returned that smile.
Now in Alatri, I must have
you know, we are all great psychologists and students of character, and often
talk about each other’s actions and the gloomy traits of character exhibited
therein, so that if you didn’t know the seriousness of our aims, you might
think we were gossips. But the true character of Mrs. Mackellar, who she is
inside herself, had always puzzled everybody. No one could pull her together
into any sort of personage who would pass muster in the wildest work of fiction
as being conceivable. Why, for instance, did she who averted her chaste eye
from the naked foot of a fisher-boy herself wear a tight silk bathing dress
that reached not quite to her knees, and nowhere near her elbows? Was it, as
Mrs. Leonards said, to display the atrocity of her own figure and thereby
strengthen the rickety morality of the world in general? That could hardly be
the case, since on other occasions she laced herself so tight, and wore such a
killing hat, and so many Cairngorms and garnets, that she could not be found
guiltless of making a public temptation of herself. Why, again, by what
possible psychological consistency, did she revel in a game of poker and
reserve the hostility of her finest colloquialisms for those who took tickets
at a lottery? Why, again—but there is no use in multiplying her contradictions,
for she entirely consists of them.
But the salient point on
which every psychologist’s eye was pensive to-day was why she had dismissed
Seraphina after a year’s harmonious co-operation for agreeing with Salvatore
that a particular beefsteak did not stink. Never had she had such a servant as
Seraphina, nor ever would, and well she knew it. Someone suggested that Mrs.
Mackellar had determined to be an eater of uncooked foods, and others who
remembered her welter of appreciation over an ordinary mutton cutlet, hardly
troubled to reply to so inadmissible a conjecture. As we whittled away at her,
the point of the discussion grew ever sharper, for why had she so clearly
smiled in answer to Seraphina’s greeting just now? The idea that the smile was
purely sardonic had most supporters: one or two who kindly upheld the view that
she was meaning to make it up with Seraphina were hissed down. The most
obdurate alone stuck to it, and had the hardihood to bet five liras that this
was the true explanation of the smile, and the readiness with which he found
takers for that bet, caused him to experience an access of prudence, and to
explain that he only meant to bet five liras all told, and not fifty. Alas!
No one was walking in my
direction, and some half an hour later I went slowly home. Already I was
beginning to regret that I had not taken more of those bets, for the shrewdest
analyst of motive and psychology in Alatri had been bound to confess that Mrs.
Mackellar’s motives, like the path of the comets that should, according to all
calculations, periodically destroy the earth, were, when all was said and done,
completely unconjecturable. No application of logic, or reason, of the
movements of heavy bodies seemed to apply to them, and for that very reason I
had rejected the sardonic nature of that smile for Seraphina, and in the spirit
of “Credo, quia impossible” had taken it for a smile of reconciliation. But I
stood to win five liras, and who would quarrel with so enviable a conclusion,
especially since it implied the re-installation of Seraphina? That was not a
wholly altruistic consideration, for Leonard had said in so many words that
Mrs. Mackellar would probably attempt to seduce Francesco away from my service
with the lure of higher wages. That was a horrible thought, and I quickened my
steps as I came near to my villa.
I heard bounding footsteps
coming down the outside stairs from the front door into the garden, which could
only be Francesco’s, and I wondered whether he was prancing towards me in order
to communicate his wonderful good luck in going as cook to Mrs. Mackellar, at
twice the wages he at present received. I believed Mrs. Mackellar, like the
prophet Habakkuk, to be “capable de tout,” but I didn’t really believe
this infamy of Francesco. The garden door flew open, and he met me with a face
of mourning.
“The Signora Mackellar,” he
cried, “walked up with Seraphina to her house. Through your telescope, signor,
I saw them kissing and kissing on the roof. Dio! Why does a
woman want to kiss a woman? There are many strange things in the world, signor.
St. Peter, he had a wife, and also his wife had a mother, and one day——”
“Tell me about it after
dinner,” I said. “And bring up the bottle of English wine, the port wine, which
I brought from Rome, I have won five liras, Francesco.”
“Sissignor,” said
Francesco. “But the dinner is not yet quite ready, for I was watching with your
telescope. Five liras!... There was once a man who backed five numbers at
the Lotto, and behold they all came out even as he had backed them.
He won a hundred thousand liras, and an estate in Calabria, and——”
“Dinner,” said I, and
Francesco ran to the kitchen.
I walked on air. Alone that
evening I had had the courage of my opinion, and for once had divined Mrs.
Mackellar’s mind to the extent of backing my divination for five liras. That is
a lot of money here—for a stall at the cinema (front row) only costs one.
2.THE ORIOLISTS
In spite of the
unaccountable absence of a Cabinet Minister who should have sat between our
hostess, Mrs. Withers and Miss Agnes Lockett, I felt that this luncheon-party
must be considered as perhaps the most epoch-making that had, up to the present
date, been enticed beneath that insatiably hospitable roof. Never had the
comet-like orbit of our entertainer ascended quite so high towards the zenith.
With the negligible
exception of myself, for whose presence there I shall soon amply account, there
was not one among us, man, woman or child (for that prodigy on the fiddle,
Dickie Sebastian, in his tight colossal sailor-suit, was of the company) whose
name was not thrillingly familiar to the great percentage of the readers of
those columns in the daily Press which inform us who was in the park on Sunday
chatting with friends, or at the first night of the new play looking lovely.
Briefly to tell the number
and brightness of these stars, there was a much be-ribanded general from
Salonica, a girl just engaged to the heir of one of our most respectable
dukedoms, a repatriated prisoner from Ruhleben, a medium possessed of
devastating insight, a prominent actress from a révue, a lion hunter (not
our amiable hostess, but a swarthy taciturnity from East Africa), and the
adorable Agnes Lockett, lately created a Dame in the Order of the British
Empire in connexion with Secret Service. She had just been demobilized, and, as
she freely admitted, four years of conundrums and traps had undermined the
frankness of her disposition. Schemes, plans, intrigues had become—for the
moment—a second nature to her, and she was not happy unless she was laying a
trap for somebody else, or suspecting (quite erroneously) that somebody was
laying a trap for her. She had also become a smooth conversational liar. These
things had not, it may be mentioned, affected her charm and her beauty.
Finally, there was myself,
who had no claim to distinction of any kind beyond such as is inherent in
living next door to Mrs. Withers and being honoured with the friendship of
Agnes Lockett.
I had been asked by
telephone just at luncheon-time, as I was in the act of sitting down to a tough
and mournful omelette alone, and I naturally felt quite certain that I had been
bidden to take the place of some guest (not the Cabinet Minister whom she still
expected) who had disappointed Mrs. Withers at the last moment. This was
confirmed by the fact that she told me in her clearest telephone voice that I
had promised to come to-day (which I knew was not the case) and that she was
merely reminding me.
Obviously, then, she was in
urgent need of somebody, for it was not her custom to “remind” all her expected
guests at the very moment when they were due at her house, and my inclusion in
this resplendent galaxy was certainly due to the convenient fact that, as I
lived next door, I should not keep the rest of her party waiting.... It is, I
hope, unnecessary to add that, with the unfortunate exception of myself,
everyone present appeared in the informing pages of “Who’s Who,” so that his
work and recreations were known to the reading public and would afford a good
start to the medium in case we had a séance afterwards.
As the currents of conversation
set this way and that, I was occasionally marooned in a backwater, and could
hear what Mrs. Withers was saying to Agnes Lockett. The latter had been to the
new play last night, and an allusion to it produced from our hostess a flood of
typical monologue delivered in the judicial voice for which she was famous. She
was a big lean woman who radiated a stinging vitality that paralysed the timid,
and as she spoke, her eyes patrolled the distinguished table with the utmost
satisfaction and controlled the service.
“Yes, Roland Somerville is
marvellous in the part,” she said, “and I told him he had never done a finer
piece of work. But I thought Margaret had not quite grasped his conception of
it. I went round, of course, to see her afterwards, and as she asked me what I
thought I told her just that.”
At this moment the telephone
bell rang in the room adjoining, and Mrs. Withers, though continuing to analyse
the play with her accustomed acumen (it had produced precisely the same effect
on her as on the author of the critique in the Daily Herald) was a
little distraite in manner till her parlour-maid communicated
the message.
“Ah, that accounts for Hugh
Chapel’s absence, who was to have sat between us,” she said to Agnes. “He was
sent for to the Palace at a quarter-past one and is lunching there. And I
ordered golden plovers especially for him. Hugh was at Priscilla’s last night,
looking very tired, I thought. You know him, of course, Miss Lockett?”
Agnes was looking a little
dazed.
“Not yet,” she said. “You asked
me here to meet him.”
Mrs. Withers made a gesture
of impatience at herself. As a matter of fact she had, in asking Agnes Lockett,
told her that Mr. Chapel was coming, and in asking him, had told him that Miss
Lockett was coming, thus hoping to kill two lions with one lunch.
“Of course! How stupid of
me,” she said. “Let us instantly arrange another day when you can both be here.
Ah! do come to a little party I have on Thursday night. You will find Lord
Marrible here too; he only got back from America ten days ago. Poor Jack! he
had a terrible voyage, and he is such a bad sailor.”
A look of slight
astonishment came over Agnes’s face, and remembering that she and Lord Marrible
were old and intimate friends, I wondered whether she was surprised at this odd
allusion to “poor Jack,” for he was known to his intimate circle as John.
Personally, I had had the felicity of making him and my hostess known to each
other only a few days ago, and I too wondered a little at the speedy ripening
of the acquaintanceship. I did not wonder much, for I knew Mrs. Withers’s
friendly disposition, and her tendency to allude to everybody by his Christian
name. But at the moment a too rash act of swallowing on the part of Dickie
Sebastian, who sat next me, made it my duty towards my neighbour to thump him
on his fat back for fear that we should never hear his violin again, and my
attention was distracted. When the fish-bone in question had been safely
deposited on the edge of his plate, the telephone had again been ringing, and Mrs.
Withers was retailing the reason for the absence of somebody called Humphrey,
whose place I conjectured that I was now occupying.
During the discussion of the
golden plovers provided for the absent Mr. Chapel, I became aware that Agnes
Lockett was being drenched and bewildered with the flood of celebrated names
that was playing on her as if from some fire-hose. Actors, authors,
politicians, social stars, soldiers and sailors were deluging her, and, without
exception, they had all been here, by their Christian names, last week, or
at any rate were coming next week. Without exception, too, each of them had
told Mrs. Withers in confidence what she repeated now to Agnes, knowing that it
would go no farther. George had assured her of this, Arthur had hinted that,
Jenny had thought this probable, Maudie had scouted the idea altogether, but
however much they had disagreed, it was certain that they would all be here on
Thursday evening, and Agnes could talk to them herself.
As I listened and looked, I
saw that a species of desperation was seizing Agnes; she was finding the
recital absolutely intolerable. Then an idea seemed to strike her, and looking
round to catch a friendly eye, she caught mine, and spoke to me across the
table.
“Have you seen Robert Oriole
lately?” she asked in her delicious husky voice, that was so unlike the
canary-tone of Mrs. Withers. But as she asked me this, she gave me a peremptory
affirmative nod of which I could not miss the significance. I had never heard
of Robert Oriole before, but I was certain that Agnes for some reason of her
own insisted that I did know him, and accordingly I answered in that sense.
“We went to a play together
last night,” I said. At that precise moment, without a pang or a cry, Robert
Oriole was born.
The new name, of course,
instantly challenged Mrs. Withers’s whole attention, as Agnes had designed
that it should. Devoted as she was to old and celebrated names, new names that
she had never heard of demanded the keenest of inquiries.
“Robert Oriole?” she said.
“Who can it have been who was speaking of Robert Oriole the other day?”
Agnes’s brilliant smile shot
out and sheathed itself again.
“Ah! who isn’t talking about
Robert Oriole?” she said.
Much as Mrs. Withers liked
appearing to know, she liked really knowing better, and surrendered.
“Was it Maudie?” she said.
“I can’t remember.”
Once against a fresh current
of conversation claimed my hearing, but rather uneasily, I could catch little
enthusiastic phrases in what Agnes was saying to our hostess, and wondered if I
should be called upon to invent anything more about this unknown personage. I
could not, a moment ago, have done otherwise than I had done, for Agnes
unmistakably commanded me to say that I either had or had not seen Robert
Oriole lately. I was bound, at any rate, to convey in my answer that I knew
him, and so it made no particular difference as to whether I had seen him
lately or not, and I had said that we had been to the play together because I
had to say something, and it was clearly much more suitable at Mrs. Withers’s
table to have done that sort of thing.
For all that I knew for
certain there might be such a person; but I strongly suspected that there was
something “back of” Robert Oriole, as our American friends say. What that was I
could not conjecture, but I felt that I was acting under Agnes’s direction in
some Secret Service. My apprehensions increased as I heard his name figuring
largely in her conversation, and were confirmed when, as she passed me on her
way out, she said in a Secret Service undertone, not looking my way as she
spoke:
“I shall come back with you
almost immediately to your house, where we must have a serious conversation.
For the present just keep your head, and remember that you know Robert
intimately.”
Half an hour later,
accordingly, we were seated together in my house. The wall between mine and
Mrs. Withers’s drawing-room was not very thick, and the bountiful roulades of
Dickie Sebastian’s violin were plainly audible. Agnes, with a flushed face,
like a child who had been triumphiantly mischievous, was sipping barley-water,
for she felt feverish with imagination.
“So that’s that,” she said
decisively, after a lurid sketch of what had happened, “and it’s no use
regretting it. We must save all our nervous force to go through with it.”
“But what made you invent
Robert Oriole at all?” I asked. “And then why have brought me in?”
“I couldn’t help inventing
him; it may have been demoniacal possession, or more likely it was a defensive
measure against my going mad, which I undoubtedly should have done if Mrs.
Withers had told me any more at all of what the great ones of the earth said to
her in confidence. I should either have gone mad, or taken up a handful of
those soft chocolates and rubbed her face with them. So I was obliged to know
some glorious creature whom she didn’t know. Obliged! She knew all the real
ones, so I had to invent one. And does she really call them by their Christian
names?”
“At a distance,” said I.
“Then she ought to do it
right. She called John Marrible, Jack, when nobody else had ever called him
anything but John; and she spoke of you as Frank, whereas nobody had ever
called you anything but Francis. In a week from now she will be calling my
darling Robert Oriole, Bob. But he really is Robbie.”
She put down her empty
glass.
“That has calmed me,” she
said, “and so now we will get to business. I must repeat all that I told Mrs.
Withers about Robbie. He is thirty-one, and is the most marvellous airman. He
has yellow hair and blue eyes, and is like the Hermes at Olympia (she thought I
meant Earl’s Court). It is perfectly clear to Mrs. Withers’s ferreting
instincts that I am in love with him; about that you had better say, if she
asks you, that we are merely great friends. He flew over to France about a week
ago, piloting three Cabinet Ministers. They won’t fly with any other pilot——”
“That won’t do,” said I. “I
went to the play with him last night.”
“I am not so stupid as to
have forgotten that. He came back yesterday, and left for Paris again this morning,
carrying a new cypher to the Embassy. He writes the most wonderful poems, which
he composes as he is flying.”
“She will ask for them at
Bickers,” said I.
Agnes thought intently for a
moment.
“She may ask for them at
Bickers,” she said, “but she won’t get them because they are not published.
They are type-written on vellum, and he lets his friends see them. Perhaps we
had better write one or two. What is vellum?”
My head whirled.
“But what is it all about?”
I cried. “I don’t mean his poems, but himself. Why are you making all this up?”
She looked at me as at a
rather stupid child.
“Now, try to understand,”
she said. “I invented him originally to save myself from going mad, and we are
making up delicious details about him to save ourselves from detection. We have
both of us said that we know Robbie Oriole, and so we must know something about
him; the more picturesque the better. We must be able (I have already done
so and am telling you about it) to describe his appearance, his career, his
tastes. If you told somebody you knew me, and couldn’t say anything definite
about me, people would think that you didn’t know me at all. It’s the same with
Robert Oriole: we must be able to tell Mrs. Withers about him, and say the same
thing. You would be quite despicable if, having said you knew a glorious
creature like Robbie, it appeared as if you didn’t. What a delicious name, too!
It came to me in a flash, and I felt as if I had known him all my life. Fancy
poor Mrs. Withers not knowing Robert Oriole! How bitter for her!”
“Ah, that’s your real
reason,” said I. “Now you are serious.”
“Not at all; that is the
humorous side of it. It is to save ourselves that we have got to build up this
solid, splendid presentment of our friend, and that is why I am telling you so
carefully all I have said about him to Mrs. Withers. When it comes to your
turn, as it undoubtedly will, to describe him further, you must always
telephone to me at once what you have said.... Where had we got to? Oh, yes,
his poems. Haven’t you got some joyous little lyrics in your desk which are
his? Or better, some vague morbid little wailings? Yes: that shall be the other
side of Robbie, known only to his most intimate friends. To the world, which
worships him, he is all sunshine and splendour, but to us, his dear friends,
there is another side. His grandmother was a Russian, you must remember. I
think I had better write the poems.”
Somehow, incredibly to
myself, the fascination of creating and building up and furnishing out a
wonderful young man like this, who had no existence whatever, began to gain on
me. Also, as Agnes had said, there was the instinct of self-preservation to
spur on the imaginative faculty. There was also the pleasure of going one
better than Mrs. Withers and of pretending to know intimately somebody whom
nobody could possibly know.
“He is an orphan,” I said.
“And may he be an American? That would make him easier to get rid of than if he
was English.”
She shook her head.
“Orphan—yes,” she said.
“American—no. I can’t bear American poetry, and I am sure I couldn’t write it.
But his parents lived in India. They are both dead, and he hasn’t got any
relations whatever, which makes him so romantic and accounts for that salt
soul-loneliness in his poems. We will give him a home—just a little remote
house by the sea, in Cornwall, near St. Ives, and the Atlantic rolls in on the
beach in front of his grey-walled garden. His poems have the beat and rhythm of
the sea——”
I sprang from my chair.
“Never, never!” I cried.
“Mrs. Withers goes to St. Ives every summer.”
“We will give him his home,
then, in the Lake District,” said Agnes thoughtfully. “There is no beat and
rhythm of the sea in his poems, but the eternal melancholy of lakes and
mountains. He must have somewhere pretty far off to go to when he is
demobilized, as he will be almost immediately. His constant presence in London
would lead to detection.”
“Then why demobilize him?” I
asked. “He can always be in France when it is convenient to us.”
She was quite firm about
this.
“It would never do,” she
said. “Mrs. Withers might make inquiries about him from some General in the
Flying Corps. Indeed, I am almost sorry he was an airman at all, but that can’t
be helped now.”
“He can go to India to see
his parents’ graves,” said I, “if we want to get him out of the country for a
long period.”
“Yes, but he can’t always be
doing that. No one would make constant visits to India to see graves, however
beloved were their occupants. Besides, it takes so long to go to India and
back. He had much better be in his lovely home in the Lakes, and pay flying
visits to London—here to-day and gone to-morrow—just giving us a new poem on
vellum. That will be much more fun. Oh, a most important point! He must have
some other friends besides us who are worthy of knowing him. John Marrible will
be a nice friend for him; John will appreciate him. I will tell a few
trustworthy people about Robbie, and you must do the same. We will call
ourselves the Oriolists.”
Mrs. Withers, of course,
telephoned both to Agnes and to me to bring Robert Oriole to her party on
Thursday evening; but there were so many new and resplendent friends there that
she did not, except for a passing moment, regret the absence of that poetic
airman, who was up in Westmorland. We had each of us provided him with two or
three nice friends, who were in sympathy with him, but for some days after that
he made no particular developments, and I began to think that, having served
his purpose in protecting Agnes from insanity at Mrs. Withers’s luncheon party,
she was losing interest in her benefactor.
Then suddenly he burst out
in renewed glory, for it came to Agnes’s ears that in allusion to that same
luncheon party Mrs. Withers had said to a mutual friend that dear Aggie had
told her the most wonderful things about the Secret Service which she could not
possibly repeat. This was sufficient to put new life and vigour into Robert
Oriole. Agnes—who had never been called “Aggie” before—dragged me from the
music-room at an evening party, where Dickie Sebastian was playing all that had
ever been written for the violin, and recounted this outrage on the stairs.
“I have seen that woman
three times,” she said, “once when I was introduced to her, once when I
lunched with her on the day Robbie was born, and once when I didn’t bring him
to her Thursday evening. And now I am ‘Aggie,’ and told her all about the
Secret Service! I was almost inclined to let Robbie fade away again, but now
she shall see. Heavens! There she is!”
Dickie Sebastian had ceased
for the moment, and a few straggling couples emerged stealthily from the
music-room, the first of whom was Mrs. Withers and Lord Marrible. Mrs. Withers
would have been content, so it struck me, to kiss her hand to Agnes and pass
on, for she had just been alluding to Aggie again, but since he came to a stop,
she was obliged to wait also. He had already heard that he was “Jack,” and his
broad good-humoured face was a-chink with merriment as he spoke to my
companion.
“Hallo, Aggie!” he said.
“Been talking Secret Service on the stairs?”
“Mr. Goodenough and I,” said
Agnes carefully, “were waiting for Robbie. Do go and find him and bring him
here by his golden hair.”
“What, is Robbie here?” he
asked, thereby conveying to me that he was an Oriolist. “I didn’t see him. If
Robbie is in a room it’s not easy to miss him. I didn’t even know he was in
town.”
“Of course he is,” said
Agnes. “Fancy not knowing if Robbie is in town. You might as well not know——”
“If the sun is shining,”
said I fervently.
“Quite. Lord Marrible, do go
back and see if he isn’t there. He and Mr. Goodenough and I are going back to
his flat, and he is going to read to us. And then he is going to play the piano
and then I suppose it will be time for breakfast before we have talked enough.”
Mrs. Withers rose like a
great salmon fresh from the sea, and rushed at this wonderful lure.
“I never heard anything so
improper,” she said. “You and—and Mr. Goodenough and Robbie Oriole! My dear
Miss Lockett, who is chaperoning you?”
Agnes’s face dimpled into
the most delicious smile.
“Ah, we don’t want any
chaperon in the sunlight,” she said, as John shouldered his way back into the
music-room.
“Then let me drop you all at
his flat,” said Mrs. Withers. “I have my motor here, and I’m going home now. I
am sure it is not out of my way.”
Agnes nudged me with her
elbow to indicate that I had to answer this.
“Robbie’s car is here, many
thanks,” I said. “It’s waiting for us. I saw it when I came in.”
“And he plays the piano
too?” asked Mrs. Withers.
Agnes laughed.
“Ah, I believe you know him
all the time,” she said, “and mean to repeat to him all the nice things that we
say about him. You know him intimately, I believe, but if you tell me that
he has already sent you those three sonnets he wrote as he flew to Cologne the
other day, which he promised to read us to-night, I don’t think I could bear
it. Mr. Goodenough and I were promised the first hearing of them, and I believe
he has sent them to you already.”
“Indeed he hasn’t,” said
Mrs. Withers in a social agony. “I really don’t know Mr. Oriole, though I am
dying to. I hoped you would have brought him to my little party last Thursday.”
“Thursday, Thursday,” said
Agnes. “Yes, I remember: Robbie was up in the Lakes. Such a pity! He would have
loved it, just the sort of party he adores.”
Mrs. Withers’s brow, that
Greek brow with a fillet of crimson velvet across it, from which depended a
splendid pearl, grew slightly corrugated, and made the pearl tremble. She
prided herself on knowing all her engagements for a week ahead, but the recollection
of them was difficult even to her.
“Sunday at lunch then,” she
said. “Will you both come and bring Mr. Oriole? Tell him how divine it would be
if he would read us the Cologne sonnets.”
“I’ll tell Robbie,” said
Agnes, “but as for your chance of finding him disengaged, I couldn’t promise
anything. How his friends grab him when he appears! Ah, there’s John—I mean
Lord Marrible. Well?”
“He simply isn’t here.”
Agnes turned to me.
“Ah, now I remember,” she
said. “He told me that if he couldn’t get here by half-past ten, he wouldn’t
come at all, but would just send the car for us. What time is it now?”
“Eleven,” said I.
“Oh, come quick, then,” said
she. “We’ve missed half an hour already.”
Lord Marrible turned to Mrs.
Withers.
“Well, you and I must console
ourselves with supper,” he said, “as Robbie hasn’t asked us.”
It was all very well for
Agnes to say that we would go quickly, but Mrs. Withers just clung.
“But wouldn’t he let me come
too?” she said. “Mayn’t I drop you at his door, Miss Lockett, and I would wait
while you asked him if I might come in?”
Agnes’s face dimpled again.
“My dear, if it were
possible!” she said. “But with Robbie, however intimately you know him, you
can’t quite do that. You agree with me, Lord Marrible, I know. But if—if he
gives me a copy of the Cologne sonnets, or lets me make one, you may guess to
whom I will show it, unless he absolutely forbids me to show it to anybody. How
tiresome it is that you don’t know him!”
Mrs. Withers’s pearl
trembled again.
“Or if lunch on Sunday won’t
suit Mr. Oriole,” she said, “I have got a few people to dinner on Tuesday and
Wednesday, and if you would bring him then I should be more than charmed.”
She remembered that her
hospitable table was crammed on Wednesday, but there were two or three people
who did not matter, and she could easily tell them that she expected them not
that Wednesday but the next....
“Or if he would ring me up
and suggest any time,” she added.
Agnes laughed again.
“Too kind of you,” she said,
“and how rude of me to laugh! I laughed at the idea of Robbie telephoning. He
can’t bear any modern invention.”
“But he is an airman, isn’t
he?” asked Mrs. Withers.
Never have I admired the
quickness and felicity of the female mind more than at that critical moment
which would have caused any mere man to stumble and bungle, and leave an
unconvincing impression. There was not even the “perceptible pause” before
Agnes answered.
“Ah, but Robbie says that
flying is the effort to recapture bird-life of a million years ago,” she said.
“Birds and angels fly; it is not a modern discovery, but a celestial and
ancient secret now being learned by us in our clumsy way. Robbie is lyrical
about flying. But what bird or angel ever telephoned? Come, Mr. Goodenough, let
us find that car.”
“I forget how he reconciles
himself to motoring,” I said. I did not want to put Agnes in a fix, but only to
delight my soul with another instance of feminine alacrity.
“He doesn’t,” said she
brightly. “But then you have got to get to places quickly, and you can’t fly
through the streets of London yet.”
“He sounds too marvellous,”
said Mrs. Withers ecstatically. “Sunday, Tuesday or Wednesday then. Any of
them.”
The discerning reader will
easily have perceived by this time that both John Marrible and I were but wax
in the inventive hands of Agnes, and flowed into the shapes that her swift
fingers ordained for us. Occasionally we suggested little curves and
decorations of our own, which she might or might not permit; but we had no
independent will in the matter of Robert Oriole. She was the architect who
built this splendid temple to an imaginary deity in whose honour Mrs. Withers,
his deluded worshipper, swung unregarded censers of asparagus and salmon; at
the most we were the cognisant choir and the organ....
During the next weeks which
included the Sunday, Tuesday and Wednesday, on which Mrs. Withers’s hospitality
hungered for Robbie, the number of Oriolists greatly increased, and this secret
society became positively masonic in clandestine fervour and fidelity. I could
see at a glance, without grips of any kind, whether some friend or
acquaintance who inquired after Robbie was a mason or not, for there was a
gleeful solemnity about the initiated Oriolist which the profane crowd lacked.
There were many who now
spoke of him, for Mrs. Withers in her frenzied efforts to capture him and show
him at her house, asked everyone she met if he knew Robbie, and her large
circle of uninitiated guests and acquaintances grew almost as excited about him
as she. Those who knew, the initiates to whom these mysteries had been
unveiled, answered casually enough when they were applied to by Mrs. Withers,
but with that gleeful solemnity which revealed them to each other.
One morning Robbie would
have been “stunting” over Richmond, or had lunched at the Ritz, or had been
swimming in the Serpentine before breakfast, dropping in unexpectedly to
entrance Agnes with the Brahms-Handel variations, or flying back to the Lakes
in the afternoon, and the telephone messages that passed between the houses of
the initiated were cryptic and yet comprehended utterances. Then on an
ever-memorable day two type-written copies of the Cologne sonnets circulated
among the elect, and were secretly read in corners to the less fortunate.
On another day, Robbie must
have called on me when I was out, for I found his card with his address,
“Blaythwaite Fell,” upon it, when I returned. He was not able to go to Mrs.
Withers’s house either on Sunday, Tuesday or Wednesday, but on Friday when
she returned from a concert at which Royalty was present, she found a similar
card with Agnes’s on her table, and all the account her parlour-maid could give
was that Miss Lockett had come to the door with “another gentleman” whom she
had not seen before, for Lord Marrible had not previously come to the house.
Mrs. Withers, trembling with
chagrin (for she had not been presented to Royalty at the concert, and had
missed so much more by not stopping at home) telephoned to Agnes at once, only
to learn that Robbie had that moment left by air for the Continent.
It is better to describe
than to let the reader imagine for himself the state into which Mrs. Withers
was brought during these days, because the imagination from excess of excited
fancy would go wildly astray. For she did not grow one atom distraught or
deranged; she became on the contrary more concentrated and businesslike than
ever. She telephoned daily to Agnes and me to know whether Robbie—she always
spoke of him now as Robbie—had got back from the Continent, and told us quite
firmly that she would put off any other engagement in order to receive him at
her house, or meet him at any other house.
But pending that
consummation she remained as regular and as resonant as a cuckoo-clock, and
struck her social hours with the same fluty regularity. She did not lose
her appetite, or take to cocaine or opium-smoking or drown herself in the
Thames, as imagination might expect, but kept her head, went up several times
in an aeroplane in order to get used to it in case Robbie on his return
suggested an expedition, and temporarily stole my copy of the Cologne sonnets.
I am not quite sure about
this, but I missed them one afternoon when she had been having tea with me, and
found next day that in my absence she had called and gone into my sitting-room
to write a note to me. On my return I found the note prominently displayed, and
the Cologne sonnets concealed in the blotting-book which I had unsuccessfully
searched the evening before. The case is not proved against her, but certainly
after that she could quote from the Cologne sonnets....
Then one morning, even while
I was wondering what made Agnes keep Robbie so long on the Continent, I was
rung up by her maid, and asked to go round to her at once. In answer to a
further inquiry, “It’s about Mr. Oriole, sir.”
Full of some nameless
apprehension, I started instantly on that bright June morning, feeling sure
that at the least Robbie was the victim of some catastrophe. I was even
prepared to learn that Robbie was dead, though I could not form the slightest
conjecture as to what had led to this sudden demise. Or was Robbie engaged
to be married, and had we to arrange about an elusive female of mysterious
charm and antecedents?...
Well, it was not that, but
it was even worse, for Agnes was engaged to John Marrible, who, with the
selfishness of his sex, insisted that Robbie should die. He was with her and
put his case. Agnes really seemed more taken up with Robbie than she was with
him, and he demanded her undivided affection. For her part, she wanted to leave
Robbie on the Continent for future emergencies, and promised not to think about
him, but John objected to that. His head, he told us with a glance at her, was
too full of other things, and he could not trust himself not to give the whole
affair away by some inadvertence of happiness and pride. That glance settled
it; Agnes took a half sheet of paper and wrote on it for a few minutes in
silence.
“I will send it to the
principal morning papers,” she said, “and John shall pay for it. Listen! Will
this do?
“ORIOLE.—On the 17th
instant, very suddenly, at Mannheim, Robert, only son of the late William and
Margaret Oriole, of Karachi, India. Age 31. Deeply lamented. No flowers.
‘We will grieve not, only find
Strength in what remains behind.’”
That appeared next day, and
I do not suppose that anybody lamented him more deeply than Mrs. Withers.
She sent Agnes and me charming little notes of condolence and quoted from one
of the Cologne sonnets, and asked if those touching lines in the notice of his
death were by him.
A week or two later, I sat
next Mrs. Withers at dinner, and Mr. Chapel was on her other side.
“Of course, you knew dear
Robbie Oriole, Mr. Chapel,” she said. “What a loss to poetry. Are not those
Cologne sonnets the finest in your opinion since Keats? I was privileged to
have a copy of them. You agree with me, do you not, Mr. Goodenough? Do you
remember that marvellous one beginning, ‘The clouds weep westwards under the
scurrilous sky’?”
I hugged myself over not
asking who had given her that privilege and sadly assented. She proceeded to
talk to both of us, as her manner was at the dinner-table, with an intuition
wrong in itself, but so excruciatingly right in general direction that it made
me catch my breath.
“Yes, those sonnets,” she
said. “How amazingly feminine they are, both in their tenderness and
bitterness. Or, perhaps, all I mean is that women will always appreciate them
more than men. When I say them over to myself, as I so often do, I seem to see
Robbie reading them to Aggie Lockett. Certainly, I thought, when she first
spoke to me about Robbie, that she was absolutely devoted to him. Indeed, it gave
me a little shock when I saw to-day that she was to marry Jack Marrible.”
This was almost incredibly
wonderful, for Mr. Chapel was one of our most fervent Oriolists. It was as full
of points as a hedgehog; I could not count them all——
Then he turned on me the
usual look of gleeful solemnity, and I knew we both wondered who would be the
first to tell Aggie.
“Poor Robbie,” he said. “I
never knew anybody the least like him. He will be a sacred memory to us, will
he not?”
Mrs. Withers shook her head,
regretfully, smiling.
“And the last time he
called,” she said, “I was not at home. Of course, if he had only told me he was
coming, I would have thrown over any engagement to be there, but, as you may
not know, he would never use a telephone. It will always give me a little
heartache to think that I was not there the last time.”
Mr. Chapel let his eyes
wander admirably before he caught mine again.
“It is only human to feel that,” he observed in the best style.
3.IN THE DARK
Reginald
Case,
newly promoted to the rank of Captain in the 43rd Native Cavalry of the Indian
Army, was picking his way back to his bungalow by the light of a somewhat
ill-burning lantern from the regimental mess-room where he had dined. It was
early in July, the long-delayed rains had broken at Haziri, in the Central
Provinces, ten days before, and it was an imprudent man who would venture on a
mere field-path like this at night without some illumination for his steps,
lest inadvertently he might tread on a meditative and deadly kerait, with
murder behind its stale small eyes, or step on the black coils of some hooded
cobra. Only a few days before, Case had found one such in the bathroom of his
bungalow, curled up on the mat within a few inches of his bare foot, when he
went there to bathe before dinner, and he had no desire to give his nerves any
further test of steadiness under such circumstances.
To-day there had been a
break in the prodigious deluge, and all the afternoon the midsummer sun had
blazed from a clear sky, causing all vegetable things to sprout with magical
rapidity. This path, which yesterday had been a bare track over the fields, was
now covered with springing herbs; the parade-ground, which for the last week
had been but a sea of viscous mud, was clad in a mantle of delicate green
blades, and the tamarisks and neem trees were studded with swelling buds among
the dead and dripping foliage of the spring. A similar animation had tingled
through the insect world, and as Case passed across the couple of fields that
lay between the mess-room and his bungalow, a swarm of evil flies dashed
themselves against the glass of his lantern. Overhead, since sunset, the clouds
had gathered densely again across the vault of the sky, but to the east an arch
of clear and star-lit heavens was dove-coloured with the approaching moonrise.
Against it the shapes of silhouetted trees stood sharp and black in the windless
and stifling calm.
It was a night of
intolerable heat, and his two bulldogs, chained up in the veranda of his
bungalow, with their dinner lying untouched beside them, could do no more by
way of welcome to him than tap languidly with their tails on the matting in
acknowledgment of his return. His bearer, not expecting him to be back so soon
from the mess-room, was out, and he had to wait on himself, pulling out a long
chair and table from his sitting-room, and groping for whisky and soda in his
cupboard. The ice had run out, and after mixing and drinking a tepid peg, he
went back to his bedroom and changed his hot dinner clothes for pyjamas and
slippers. Cursing inwardly at the absence of his servant, he lit his lamp
with a solitary match that he found on the table, and came out again into the
veranda to think over, with such coolness as was capturable, the whole
intolerable situation.
At first his mind hovered
circling round outlying annoyances. He was dripping at every pore in this dark
furnace of a night, the prickly heat covered his shoulders with a net of
unbearable irritation, he had just lost heavily for the tenth successive
evening at auction-bridge, his liver was utterly upset with the abominable
weather, the lamp smelled, mosquitoes trumpeted shrilly round him. Here, more
or less, was the outer and less essential ring of his discontent; to a happy
and healthy man such inconveniences would have been of little moment, but in
his present position they seemed portentously disagreeable. Then his mind,
still hovering, moved a little inwards round a smaller and more intimate
circle, surveying the calamities of the past six weeks. He had killed his
favourite pony out pig-sticking, he was heavily in debt, and this morning only
he had been talked to faithfully and frankly by his colonel on the text of
slackness in respect of regimental duties. But still his mind did not settle
down on his central misfortune—instinctively it shrank from it.
Thick and hot and silent the
oppression of the night lay round him. Now and then one of his bulldogs
stirred, or an owl hooted as its wings divided the motionless air, while
farther away, in the bazaars of Haziri, a tom-tom beat as if it was the
pulse of this stifling and feverish night. The clouds had grown thicker
overhead, and every now and then some large drop of hot rain splashed heavily
on the dry earth or hissed among the withered shrubs. Remote lightning winked
on the horizon, followed at long intervals by drowsy thunder, and to the east,
in the arch of sky that still remained unclouded, a tawny half-moon had risen,
shapeless through the damp air, and illuminating the vapours with dusky
crimson. Once more Case splashed the tepid soda-water over a liberal whisky,
still pausing before he let his mind consciously dwell on that which lay as
heavy over it as over the gasping earth this canopy of cloud.
The veranda where he sat was
broad and deep, and two doors opened into it from the bungalow. One led into
his own quarters, the other into those of his brother officer, Percy Oldham. He
was away on leave up in the hills, but was expected back to-night, and Case
knew that, before either of them slept, there would have to be talk of some
kind between them. A year ago, when they had taken this bungalow together, they
had been inseparable friends, so that the mess had found for them the nicknames
of David and Jonathan; then, by degrees, growing impalpable friction of various
kinds had estranged them, and to-night, when at length Case thought of Oldham,
his mouth went dry with the intensity of his hate. And at the thought of him,
his mind, hovering and circling so long, dropped like a stooping hawk into
the storm-centre of his misery. He took from the table the letter he had found
waiting for him in the rack at the mess-room that evening, and by the light of
the fly-beleaguered lamp read it through again. It was quite short.
“Dear Case,—I shall get back late
on Thursday night, and before we meet I think I had better tell you that I am
engaged to Kitty Metcalf. I suppose we shall have to talk about it, though it
might be better if we did not. For a man who is so happy, I am awfully sorry;
that is all I can say about it. She wished me to tell you, though, of course, I
should have done so in any case.—Yours truly,
“Percy Oldham.”
Case read this through for
the sixth or seventh time, then tore it into fragments, and again replenished
his glass. It was barely six months ago that he had been engaged to this girl
himself; then they had quarrelled, and the match had been broken off. But he
found now that he had never ceased to hope that when he went up himself, later
in the summer, to the hills, it would be renewed again. And at the thought his
present discomfort, his debts, all that had occupied his mind before, were
wiped clean from it. Oldham—they had talked of it fifty times—was to have been
his best man.
Suddenly, out of the black
bosom of the windless night, there came a sigh of hot air rustling the shrubs
outside. It came into the veranda where he sat, like the stir of some corporeal
presence, making the light of his lamp to hang flickering in the chimney for a
moment, and then expire in a wreath of sour-smelling smoke. One of his dogs sat
up for a moment growling, and then all was utterly still again. The arch of
clear sky to the east had dwindled and become overcast, and the red moon showed
but a faint blur of light behind the gathering clouds.
Case had used a solitary
match to light his lamp, and did not know where, in his own bungalow, he might
find a box. But he could get one for certain out of Oldham’s bedroom, for he
was a person of extremely orderly habits, and always kept one on a ledge just
inside his bedroom door. Case got up and in the dark groped his way across the
lobby out of which Oldham’s bedroom opened, and feeling with his hand,
immediately found the box on the ledge at the foot of his bed. Standing there,
he lit a match, and his eye fell on the bed itself. It was covered with a dark
blanket, and on the centre of it, coiled and sleeping, like a round pool of
black water, lay a huge cobra. On the moment the match went out—it had barely
been lit—and, closing the bedroom door, he went out again on to the veranda.
He did not rekindle his
lamp, but sat, laying the forgotten match-box on his table, and looking out
into the blackness of the yawning night. The wind that had extinguished
his light had died away again, and all round he heard the heavy plump of the
rain, which was beginning to fall heavily. Before five minutes were past, the
sluices of the sky were fully open again, and the downpour had become
torrential. The lightning, that an hour ago had but winked remotely on the
horizon, was becoming more vivid, and the response of the thunder more
immediate. At the gleam of the frequent flashes from the sky, the trees in
front of the bungalow, the road, and the fields that lay beyond it, started
into colour seen through the veil of the rain, that hung like a curtain of
glass beads, firm and perpendicular, and then vanished again into the
impenetrable blackness. He was not conscious of thought; it seemed only that a
vivid picture was spread before his mind—the picture of a dark-blanketed bed on
which, like a round black pool, there lay the coiled and sleeping cobra. The
door of that room was shut, and a man entering it would no longer find, as he
had done, a match-box ready to his hand, close beside the door.
For another hour he sat
there, this mental picture starting from time to time into brilliant
illumination, even as at the lightning flashes the landscape in front of him
leaped into intolerable light and colour. The roar of the rain and the
incessant tumult of the approaching thunder had roused the dogs, and by the
flare of the storm Case could see that Boxer and his wife were both
sitting tense and upright, staring uneasily into the night. Then simultaneously
they both broke into chorus of deep-throated barking and strained at their
chains. By the next flash Case saw what had roused their vigilance. The figure
of a man with flapping coat was running at full speed from the direction of the
mess-room towards the bungalow. He recognized who it was, and now the dogs
recognized him, too, for their barking was exchanged for whimpers of welcome
and agitated tails.
Oldham leaped the little
hedge that separated the road from the fields and ran dripping into shelter of
the veranda. In the gross darkness he could not see Case, and stood there, as
he thought, alone, stripping off his mackintosh. Then, by the light of a fierce
violet streamer in the clouds, he saw him.
“Hullo, Case,” he said, “is
that you?”
Oldham moved towards him as
he spoke, and by the next flash Case saw him close at hand, tall and slim, with
handsome, boyish face.
“You got my letter?” asked
Oldham.
“Yes, I got your letter.”
Case paused a moment.
“Do you expect me to
congratulate you?” he asked.
“No, I can’t say that I do.
But I want to say something, and I hope you won’t find it offensive. Anyhow, it
is quite sincere. I am most awfully sorry for you. And I can’t forget that we
used to be the greatest friends. I hope you can remember that, too.”
He sat down on the step that
led into Case’s section of the bungalow, and in the darkness Case could hear
Boxer making affectionate slobbering noises. That kindled a fresh point of
jealous hatred in his mind; both dogs, who obeyed him as a master, adored
Oldham as a friend. Hotly burned that hate, and he thought again of the closed
bedroom door and the black pool on the blanket. Then he spoke slowly and
carefully.
“I quite remember it,” he
said, “and it seems to me the most amazing thing in the world. I can recall it
all, all my—my love for you, and the day when we settled into this bungalow
together, and the joy of it. I recall, too, that you have taken from me
everything you could lay hands on, money, the affection of the dogs even——”
Oldham interrupted in sudden
resentment at this injustice.
“As regards money, I may
remind you, since you have chosen to mention it, that I have not succeeded in
taking any away from you,” he remarked.
Case was not roused by this
sarcasm; he could afford, knowing what he knew, to keep calm.
“I am sorry for having kept
you waiting so long,” he said. “But you may remember that you begged me to pay
you at my convenience. It will be quite convenient to-morrow.”
“My dear chap,” broke in
Oldham again, “as if I would have mentioned it, if you hadn’t!”
Case felt himself scarcely
responsible for what he said; the tension of the storm, the infernal tattoo of
the rain, the heat, the bellowing thunder, seemed to take demoniacal possession
of him, driving before them the sanity of his soul.
“Perhaps you wouldn’t
mention it,” he said, “until you had sold my debt to some Jewish money-lender.”
In the darkness he heard
Oldham get up.
“There is no use in our
talking, if you talk like a madman,” he said.
The sky immediately above
them was torn asunder, and a flickering spear of intolerable light stabbed
downwards, striking a tree not a hundred yards in front of the bungalow, and
for the moment the stupendous crack of the thunder drowned thought and speech
alike. Boxer gave a howl of protest and dismay, and nestled close to Oldham,
while Case, starting involuntarily from his chair, held his hands to his ears
until the appalling explosion was over.
“Rather wicked,” he said,
and poured himself out a dram of neat spirits.
That steadied him, and,
recovering himself a little, he felt that he was behaving very foolishly in
letting the other see the madness of his rage and resentment. It was far better
that he should lull Oldham into an unsuspicious frame of mind; otherwise he
might suspect, might he not, that something was prepared for him in his
room? Others, subsequently, if they quarrelled, might guess that he himself had
known what lay there ... but it was all dim and fantastic. Then the fancied
cunning and caution of an unbalanced man who is at the same time ready to
commit the most reckless violence took hold of him, and instantly he changed
his tone. He must be quiet and normal; he must let things take their natural
course, without aid or interference from himself.
“The storm has played the
deuce with my nerves,” he said, “that and the news in your letter, and the
sight of you coming like a wraith through the rain. But I won’t be a lunatic
any longer. Sit down, Percy, and try to forgive all the wild things I have been
saying. Of course, I don’t deny that I have had an awful blow. But, as you have
reminded me, we used to be great friends. She and I were great friends, too,
and I can’t afford to lose the two people I really care most about in the world,
just because they have found each other. Let’s make the best of it; help me, if
you can, to make the best of it.”
It was not in Oldham’s
genial nature to resist such an appeal, and he responded warmly.
“I think that is jolly good
of you,” he said, “and, frankly, I hate myself when I think of you. But,
somehow, it isn’t a man’s fault when he falls in love. I couldn’t help myself;
it came on me quite suddenly. It was as if someone had come quickly up behind
me and pitched me into the middle of it. At one moment I did not care for
her; at the next I cared for nothing else.”
Case had himself thoroughly
in hand by this time. He even took pleasure in these reconciliatory speeches,
knowing the completeness with which a revenge prepared without his planning
should follow on their heels. Had a loaded pistol been ready to his hand, and
he himself secure from detection, he would probably not have pulled the trigger
on his friend, but it was a different matter that he should merely acquiesce in
his walking in the dark into the room where death lay curled and ready to
strike. That seemed to him to be the act of God; he was not responsible for it,
he had not put the cobra there.
“I felt sure it must have
happened like that,” he said. “Besides, as you know, Kitty and I had quarrelled
and had broken our engagement off. Of course, I hoped that some day we might
come together again—at least, I know now that I hoped it. But that was nothing
to do with you. You fell in love with her, and she with you. Yes, yes. Really,
I don’t wonder. Indeed—indeed, I do congratulate you—I congratulate you both.”
Oldham gave a great sigh of
pleasure and relief.
“It’s ripping of you to take
it like that,” he said. “I hardly dared to hope you would. Thanks ever so
much—ever so much! And now, do you know, I think I shall go to bed. I am
dog-tired. I had a six hours’ ride to the station this morning, and even
up there it was hideously hot.”
Case again reminded himself
that he must behave naturally—not plan anything, but not interfere.
“Oh, you must have a drink,”
he said, “though I’m afraid there is no ice. I’ll get you a glass and soda.”
He came out into the veranda
again with these requisites. Oldham was stifling a prodigious yawn.
“I’m half dead with sleep.
Probably I shall chuck myself on my bed just as I am, to save the trouble of
undressing.”
Case felt his hand tremble
as he put the glass down on the table.
“I know that feeling,” he
said. “Sometimes, when one is very sleepy, the sight of a bed is altogether too
much for one. I dare say I shall do the same. Help yourself to whisky while I
open the soda for you.”
Oldham drank his peg and
again rose.
“Well, I’m for bed,” he
said. “And I can’t tell you what a relief it is to me to find you like this. By
the way, about that bit of money. Pay me exactly when it’s convenient to
you—next year or the year after, if you like. I should be wretched if I thought
you were putting yourself about over it. So good night, Reggie.”
He turned to go, and it
seemed to Case that hours passed and a thousand impressions were registered on
his brain as he walked down the twenty-five feet of veranda that separated the
two doors of entrance that led into their quarters. Outside, another change had
come over the hot, tumultuous night, and, as if the very moon and stars were
concerned in this pigmy drama, where but a single life out of the innumerable
and infinitesimal little denizens of the world was involved, a queer triangular
rent had opened in the rain-swollen sky, and a dim moon and a company of watery
stars stared silently down, and to Case’s excited senses they appeared
hostilely witnessing. Ten minutes ago the rain had ceased as suddenly as if a
tap had been turned off, and, except for the tom-tom that still beat
monotonously in the town, a silence of death prevailed. The steam rose thick as
sea-mist from the ground; above it a blurred etching of trees appeared and the
roof of the mess-room. The grey unreal light shone full into the veranda, and
he could see that Boxer was sitting bolt upright on his blanket-bed, looking at
Oldham’s retreating figure. Daisy was industriously scratching her neck with a
hind-leg, and from the table a little pool of spilt soda-water was dripping on
to the ground.
All this Case noticed
accurately and intently, and, as yet, Oldham was not half-way down the veranda.
Once he hung on his step and sniffed the hot, stale air. That was a
characteristic trick; he wrinkled his nose up like a dog, showing his white
teeth. Once he shifted his dripping mackintosh from right hand to left,
holding it at arm’s length. Then, as he turned to pass into the door, he made a
little staccato sign of salutation to Case with his disengaged hand. Boxer
appropriated that, and wagged a cordial tail in response.
Eagerly and expectantly, now
that he had vanished from sight, Case followed his movements, visualizing them.
He heard him shuffle his feet along the floor in the manner of a man feeling
his way in the dark, and knew that he was drawing near to the closed bedroom
door and the black interior. Oldham had said that he was very tired, that he
was inclined just to throw himself on the bed and sleep, and the absence of
matches and the added inconvenience of undressing in the dark would further
predispose him to this. He would throw himself on the bed all in a piece, after
the fashion of a tired man, and awake to fury the awful bedfellow, with the
muscular coils and the swift death that lay crouched beneath its hood, which
lay sleeping there. To-morrow there would be no debt for Case to pay, no gnawing
of unsatisfied hate, and for Oldham no letter to his lady with the so
satisfactory account of the evening’s meeting.
Then from within came the
rattle of a turned door-handle, and Case knew that the death-chamber stood
open. There followed a pause of absolute stillness, in which Case felt utterly
detached from and irresponsible for whatever might follow. Then came the jar of
a closed door....
And that tore him screaming
from his murderous dreams, from which, perhaps, he had awoke too late. He found
himself, with no volition of his own, running down the veranda and calling at
the top of his voice:
“Percy, Percy,” he cried,
“come out. There is a cobra on your bed!”
He heard the handle rattle and the door bang. Next moment he was on his knees in the dark lobby, clasping Oldham’s legs in a torrent of hysterical sobbing.
4.THE FALSE STEP
Mrs.
Arthur Bolney Ross, when, three years ago, she set sail, or, rather, set screw, for
England, had no very clear idea of the campaign she intended to wage there,
though a firm determination to win it, and had mentally arrived at no general
plan beyond those preliminary manœuvres which our charming American invaders
usually adopt when they first effect a landing on the primitive pavements of
Piccadilly. She had, in fact, taken half a dozen rooms at the Ritz Hotel and a
box on the grand tier of the Covent Garden Opera House. But she had also, for
the six months preceding her expedition, secretly received daily lessons on the
pronunciation and idioms of that particular (and, as she thought, peculiar)
dialect of the English language which was in vogue among the section of the
English-speaking race with whom she intended to have dealings.
Rightly or wrongly, she had
decided that the screaming drawl of New York, which a few years before had so
captivated the English upper classes, and had led to so many charming and
successful marriages, was now out of date, and would enchant no longer. So
instead of being content with her expressive native speech, she learned with
almost passionate assiduity the mumbling English diction, the inaudible
Victorian voice, which she rightly considered would be a novelty to those who
had so largely abandoned it themselves in favour of a more strident utterance.
But she did not, in mastering the Victorian voice and intonation, suffer her
knowledge of her native tongue and its blatant delivery to wither from misuse;
she but became bi-lingual, and schooled her vocal cords to either register
without in the least confusing the two.
It was in this point that
she showed herself a campaigner of no stereotyped order, but one who might go
far, who intended in any case to go further than anybody else. The idea was
brilliant. Others before her had become more English than the English, and had
done well; others had remained more American than the Americans, and had done
even better. But she, among the immense bales of her luggage, brought with her
this significant little handbag, so to speak: she could sound American or
English at will. She could say without stumbling, “Very pleased to make your
acquaintance,” or “How are you?” just as she pleased. And in this, so it seems
to her historian, lay the germ of her success, and also the seeds of her final
and irretrievable disaster, for in spite of her modulated voice and acquired
idiom, she remained American in thought, with the regal impulses of a queen in
Newport.
In other respects she was
not, on her first landing, different in kind from our ordinary hospitable
invaders. She had a real Arthur Bolney Ross in the background, who was capable
of being shown and tested, if, so to speak, she was “searched,” but who, since
his mind had in the course of years become nothing more nor less than a mint,
out of which streams of bullion perpetually issued, preferred to be left alone
for the processes of production. Amelie was excellent friends with him, when
they had time and inclination to meet, and it always gave her a comfortable
feeling to know that Arthur was in existence. If they had met very often, it is
probable that they would have got on each other’s nerves, and, since she had an
immense fortune of her own, have considered the desirability of a divorce; but
in the meantime Amelie decidedly liked the feeling of stability which her
husband gave her. She did not think about him much, but she knew he was there.
Husbands, she had
ascertained, were going to be fashionable in London this year, or, if not
exactly fashionable, were going to be “worn” in the manner of some invisible
but judicious part of the dress, like a cholera belt, or, as Amelie would have
called it when she spoke American, a gripe-girdle. Pearls also were worn,
though not so invisibly as husbands, and Amelie had five superb ropes of these,
which could be verified by anybody, and never got on her nerves at all. She had
also, among her general equipment, a very excellent sort of social godmother,
Lady Brackenbury, who, for a remuneration that made no difference to
Amelie, but a good deal to her, was prepared to exert herself to the utmost
pitch of her very valuable capabilities in the matter of bringing people to see
her and in taking her to see people, and in preventing the wrong sort of people
from having any sort of access to her. Amelie was willing to put herself into
Lady Brackenbury’s hands with the complete confidence in which she would have
entrusted her mouth to a reliable dentist, had her admirable teeth demanded any
sort of adjustment. She could not have made a wiser choice: there was nobody,
in fact, among possible godmothers in London, who would have been a sounder
sponsor.
The two had met eighteen
months before in New York, and subsequently, in the summer, Violet Brackenbury
had spent a month with her friend at her cottage at Newport, which exteriorly
resembled an immense Swiss chalet, and inside was like a terminus hotel. There,
on ground for ever afterwards more historic than Marathon, had been fought the
famous sixteen days’ war, in which Amelie had so signally defeated and deposed
the reigning queen of the very smartest set of New York society.
The point to be decided, of
course, was which of the two could give the most ludicrous, extravagant, and
delirious parties, and thus be acclaimed sovereign among hostesses. Amelie, as
challenger, had flung the gauntlet in the shape of a midnight lawn-tennis
party, with hundreds of arc lamps hung above the courts, the nets covered with
spangles, and the lines made of ground glass faintly illuminated by electric
lights beneath, while, by way of contrast with this brilliance, a number of men
dressed like mourners at a funeral, with top-hats and black scarves, picked up
and presented the lawn-tennis balls to her guests in coffin-shaped trays. Here
was a high bid for supremacy, and it was felt that Mrs. Cicero B. Dace would
have to do something great in order to eclipse the brightness and originality
of this entertainment. But bright and original she was, and when, two nights
later, she gave her marvellous canary ball, it was thought that her throne had
not yet tottered. On this occasion her admiring guests were thrilled to find
that all round the walls of her ballroom had been planted mimosa trees, among
the branches of which three thousand canaries had been let loose, after being
doped with hard-boiled egg soaked in rum and water. These chirped and sang in a
feverish and intoxicated manner. At the end of the ball the men of the party,
dressed as huntsmen and armed with air-guns, shot these unfortunate songsters
and presented the spoils to their partners in the cotillion.
Amelie had two answers to
that—the first an indignant letter, printed in large type throughout the
American press, denouncing this massacre, and the second another ball. The
letter Mrs. Cicero B. Dace did not object to at all, since it but enhanced her
notoriety, but she objected to the ball very much indeed, since Amelie’s
ingenious mind hit on the simple and exquisite plan of dispensing with the
band, and having in its place a choir of three hundred singers, who, in batches
of one hundred at a time, sang the dance tunes. The effect was contagious, and
dancers joined in also, producing, as the press said, the “most stupendously
lyrical effect since the days of Sappho.”
Then Mrs. Cicero B. Dace sat
down and thought again, lighting upon the famous idea of the auction ball, in
which a real English Duke acted as auctioneer, and before each dance put up the
ladies for auction, to be bid for by the men who wished to be their partners.
But Amelie swiftly sent for Arthur Bolney Ross, and he and a friend of hers,
who was backing her in this struggle for sovereignty, continued to bid for her
for so long that, out of sinister compassion for her hostess, she stepped down
from the rostrum and refused to dance with either, for fear that there should
be no more dancing for anybody. This completely spoiled the success of the
auction ball, and while Mrs. Cicero B. Dace was still staggering from its
failure, Amelie annihilated her altogether by giving her inimitable glacier
ball on the hottest night of the year. A refrigerating apparatus was rigged up
on the walls of her ballroom, and their entire surface thickly coated with real
ice. Glass channels, fringed with blue gentians, were made round the
margin of the floor, to carry off the melting water, while accomplished members
of the band yodelled at intervals to carry out the Swiss illusion. She and the
auctioneer Duke—whom she had captured from under the nose of Mrs. Cicero B.
Dace—dressed in knickerbockers, with a rope round his shoulder and an ice-axe
in his hand, led the cotillion, and Mrs. Cicero B. Dace, having in vain tried
to point out that the gentians were three parts artificial flowers, retired at
1 A.M. in floods of tears.
Such were Amelie Ross’s
social achievements when, unlike Alexander the Great, she bethought herself
that there were more worlds to conquer, and decided to extend her dominions
over England. Her godmother, of course, knew her history, having, indeed,
assisted at the history she had already made, and on the night of her arrival
at the Ritz Hotel, dined with her there in her charming room looking over the
Green Park, before going with her to her box at the opera. As regards this
first appearance of her god-daughter, Violet Brackenbury had laid her plans
very carefully, and explained them as they dined.
“I have asked nobody else at
all, dear Amelie,” she said, “because I want everybody to be wild to find out
who you are, and nobody will be able to say. Curiosity is the best sauce of
all.”
Amelie became thoroughly
American for a moment.
“My!” she said. “Don’t you
mean that your folk over here haven’t seen hundreds and hundreds of pictures of
me in the papers?”
“Probably not one, my dear.
And I’ve only told one woman that you are coming. You are going to burst on
everybody to-night, you and your lovely face, and your six feet of height, and
your wonderful hair, and your wonderful pearls, and the most wonderful gown
that you’ve got. I want all London for an hour or two to be wild to know who
you are, and I have told the box-attendant to take your name off the door, and
not to let anybody in between the acts. Afterwards I shall take you to the
dance at Alice Middlesex’s, which, luckily, ever so luckily, is to-night. She
is the one person I have told.”
“The Duchess of Middlesex?”
asked Amelie.
“Yes; and she is quite
certain to ask you if you know Lady Creighton, that dreadful countrywoman of
yours who is climbing into London like a monkey and hopping about it like a
flea. She tried to patronize Alice, and Alice won’t get over it either in this
world or the next. So tell her that Lady Creighton is not received in New
York—which I believe is the case, isn’t it?—and look very much surprised at the
idea of knowing her. I can’t tell you how important that is.”
Amelie frowned slightly.
“But Elsie Creighton
telephoned to me half an hour ago,” she said, “asking me to lunch with her
to-morrow to meet——”
“It doesn’t matter whom she
asked you to meet. If she asked you to meet the entire Royal Family, you would
be wise to refuse. You don’t want to climb into London on the top of a
hurdy-gurdy.”
“My! What’s a hurdy-gurdy?”
asked Amelie, whose English lessons had not taught her that word.
“Hurdy-gurdy? Street organ.
It doesn’t matter. You don’t want to know people, if you understand; you want
to make people want to know you. My plan is not that you should climb up, but
that you should spread down.”
Amelie instantly caught
this.
“I see,” she said. “I’m to
begin at the top. But Elsie Creighton said there was a Prince coming to lunch
to-morrow. I thought that was a good beginning.”
“Not so good as the
Creighton woman is bad. Did you accept, by the way?”
“Why, yes.”
“Then telephone to-morrow
exactly at lunch-time to say you are ill, and lunch with me very obviously
downstairs in the restaurant. In fact, it couldn’t have happened better. It
will mark you off very definitely from her and her crowd. I don’t mean to say
that there are not charming people among it, but it would never do to enter
London under her wing. Perhaps just at present, darling, you had better
ask me before you accept invitations. It is so important to cut the right
people.”
Amelie was completely
cordial over this.
“I expect that is what I
have got to learn,” she said. “And now for to-night—will my dress do?”
Lady Brackenbury regarded
this admirable costume and shook her head.
“No, I don’t think it will,”
she said. “It is lovely, but you want something more arresting. You, with your
wonderful complexion, can stand anything. Orange, now—haven’t you got a
hit-in-the-face of orange? I want everybody to be forced to look at you, and you’ll
do the rest. You see I have made myself as plain and inconspicuous as possible,
to act as a foil. It is noble of me, but then I am noble. And all the pearls,
please, just all the pearls, with the big diamond fender on your head.
To-morrow, at the French Embassy, you shall wear the simplest gown you have
got, and one moonstone brooch, price three-and-sixpence.”
Such was the opening of
Amelie’s amazing campaign, the incidents and successes of which followed swift
and bewildering. Under Violet’s capable guidance she began, not by collecting
round her that brisk and hungry section of well-born London which is always
ready to sing for its dinner, and by giving huge entertainments to bring
together a crowd at all costs, but by attracting and attaching a small
band of the people who mattered. Lady Brackenbury knew very well that even in
the most democratic town in the world certain people, not necessarily Princes
or Prime Ministers, were large pieces in the great haphazard game of chess; the
crowd meantime, after whom Amelie secretly hankered, would only get more eager
to be admitted. In particular, Lady Creighton starved for her entry. She asked
Amelie to dine any Tuesday in June, when she was giving her series of musical
parties, but Amelie found, to her great regret, that she was engaged on all
those festive occasions. But she gave a musical party herself—London was prey
this year to a disordered illusion that it liked music—and Melba and Caruso
sang there—informally, so it seemed, just happening to sing—to not more than
fifty people, who sat in armchairs at their ease, instead of elbowing each
other in squashed and upright rows. In vain did Lady Creighton spread an
assiduous report that the artists had sung out of tune and that the peaches
were sour. Everyone knew that she had not been there, and that she alluded to
another sort of fruit. Violet Brackenbury was successful in persuading Amelie
not to send any account of this brilliant little affair to the papers, and to
refuse all scraps to the writers for the press. But she was careful to provide
for a far more telling publicity.
Gradually, craftily, a reef
at a time, Violet allowed her friend to let out her sails. She left her
flat at the Ritz and rurally installed herself in a spacious house in the middle
of Regent’s Park. There was a big field attached to the house, and, yielding to
a severe attack of Americanism, which she thought it might be dangerous to
suppress, Violet permitted her to give a haymaking party of the Newport type.
Hay was brought in from the country and scattered over the field, and mixed up
with roses and gardenias, while the guests on arrival were presented with
delightful little ebony pitchforks with silver prongs, or cedar-wood rakes. But
this symptom caused her a little uneasiness, for it was obvious that Amelie
thought her haymaking party a much brighter achievement than the previous
concert.
The expansion continued.
Amelie and her friend strolled into Christie’s one morning, and found a tussle
going on between two eminent dealers over the possession of a really marvellous
string of pearls. At a breathless pause, after the first “Going!” that followed
a fresh bid, Amelie said in her most ringing American voice, “I guess I’ll sail
in right now,” and began bidding herself. The crowd of dilettante London, which
delights in seeing other people spend large sums of money, parted for her, and
she moved gloriously up the auction-room and took her stand just behind one of
the Mosaic little gentlemen who wanted the pearls so badly.
The recognition of her
spread through the place like spilled quicksilver, and the auctioneer, with an
amiable bow, caused the pearls to be handed to her for her inspection. With
them still in her hand, as if it was not worth while returning them to the tray,
she sky-rocketed the price by three exalting bids, the third of which was as a
fire-hose on the ardour of her competitors. Her cheque-book was fetched from
her car outside, and she left the room a moment afterwards, having drawn her
cheque on the spot, pausing only to clasp the pearls round her neck.... And
Violet, with a strange sinking of the heart, felt as if her pet tiger-cub had
tasted blood again after the careful and distinguished diet on which she had
been feeding it.
Amelia had a fancy to leave London
early in July, and give a few parties at an immense house she had taken near
Maidenhead for the month. She had had some gondolas sent over from Venice, with
their appropriate gondoliers, and London found it very pleasant to float about
after dinner, while the excellent string band played in an illuminated barge
that accompanied the flotilla. Exciting little surprises constantly happened,
such as the arrival one evening of artists from the Grand Guignol, who played a
couple of thrilling little horrors in the ballroom, while on another night the
great Reynolds picture belonging to the Duke of Middlesex was found to have put
in an appearance on the walls. Amelie said that it was her birthday
present to her husband, and made no further allusion to it. The frame had gone
to be repaired, and it was draped round in clouds of silvery-grey chiffon that
extended half over the wall. And had Violet Brackenbury known the outrage that
her friend had planned, the frenzy of suppressed Newportism that was ready to
break forth, it is probable that she would gladly have returned the cheque
which she had that morning received from Amelie.
As it was, she felt wholly
at ease, and inclined to congratulate herself on the unique and signal
character of Amelie’s success. Never before, so she thought, had a woman so
dominated the season; never, certainly, had one of her countrywomen so
“mattered.” And all this, with the exception, perhaps, of the haymaking party
and the incident of the pearls at Christie’s, had been gained in quiet,
unsensational ways; and, lulled to content, she did not realize that the spirit
that inspired the queen of hostesses was ready to flare up like an access of
malarial fever. Poor unsuspecting godmother, who fondly believed that those
gondolas from Venice, those Grand Guignol artists from Paris, this gem of
Reynolds’s pictures, were a safety-valve, not guessing that they were but as
oil poured on the flame!
The cotillion that night was
to begin at twelve. Amelie was leading it herself with one of the Princes,and
the big ballroom was doubly lined with seated guests, when on the stroke of
twelve she entered, dressed in exact facsimile of the glorious Reynolds. As she
advanced with her partner into the middle of the room, the band in the gallery
struck up, and simultaneously a tongue of fire shot through the flimsy
draperies round the picture, instantly enveloping it in flames. The canvas
blistered and bubbled, and in ten seconds the finest Reynolds in the world was
a sheet of scorched and blackened rag.
The crowd leaped to its
feet, but before the panic had time to mature, the cause of it was over. There
was nothing inflammable within range of the swiftly-consumed chiffon, and only
little fragments of burned-out ash floated on to the floor. But the fervent and
instantaneous heat had done its work.
Then for a moment there was
dead silence, and Amelie’s voice was heard in its quietest, most English tones.
“Oh, isn’t that a pity!” she
said.
Then arose a sudden hubbub
of talk, drowning the sound of the band, which, at a signal from Amelie, had
started again.
000
Violet stood with her friend
before the blackened canvas next morning in the empty room, drawing on her
gloves.
“I don’t think you
understand yet the effect of what you have done,” she said. “No one doubts that
the fire was intentional, and—and I think that Lady Creighton will be of more
use to you in the future than I can possibly be.”
SPOOK
STORIES
1.THE CASE OF FRANK HAMPDEN
There was a light visible
from the chinks and crevices of drawn curtains in the window of Dr. Roupert’s
study as I passed it on my way back from dinner one night. He lived some six
doors farther up the same street as I, and since it had long been a frequent
custom for us to smoke the “go-to-bed” cigarette together, I rang and asked if
he was at leisure. His servant told me that he had already sent a message
across to my house, asking me to look in on him if I got home while the evening
was not too far advanced for a casual conversational quarter of an hour; and
accordingly I took off my coat, and went straight into the pleasant little
front room, about which hung the studious fragrance of the books that lined it
from floor to ceiling.
Arthur Roupert was not alone
this evening; there was sitting on the near side of the fire, which sparkled
prosperously in this clear night of early December frost, a young man whom I
was sure I had never seen before. As I entered, he stopped in the middle of a
sentence, turning towards the door, and I looked on the most handsome and
diabolical face that I had ever beheld.
Simultaneously Roupert got
up.
“I hoped you would look in,”
he said. “Let me introduce to you my cousin, Mr. Hampden, who is spending a day
or two with me. This is Mr. Archdale, Frank, of whom I was speaking just now.”
As the other rose, I saw
that Roupert’s almost foolishly amiable fox-terrier shrank away from where she
had been sitting by her master’s chair, instead of giving me her accustomed and
effusive greeting, and retreated into a far corner of the room, where she sat
quivering with raised hackles, and with vigilant eyes full of hate and terror
fixed on young Hampden. His right arm was in a sling, and he held out his left
hand to me.
“You must excuse me,” he
said, “but I am only just recovering from a broken arm. My cousin’s dog doesn’t
approve of it; she would like to get her teeth into it.”
“The oddest thing I ever
saw, Archdale,” said Roupert. “You know Fifi’s usual amiability. Call her,
Frank.”
Frank Hampden whistled, and
clicked his fingers together in an encouraging manner.
“Fifi—come here, Fifi!” he
said.
For a moment I thought that
this most confiding of ladies was going to fly at him. But apparently she could
not find the courage for an attack, and, snapping and growling, retreated behind
the window curtains.
“And that to me,” said
Hampden, licking his lips as he spoke. “Me, who adore dogs. Don’t you, Mr.
Archdale?”
As he said that I knew that
he lied; that Fifi’s detestation of him was met with a hatred quite as vivid
but more controlled. I can no more account for that conviction than for the
sense of hellish evil that my first glance at him had conveyed to me. He was
quite young, twenty-two or twenty-three for a guess, and yet from behind the
mask of that soft boyish face there looked out a spirit hard and malignant and
mature, an adept in terrible paths. The impression was quite inexplicable but
perfectly clear. Then, looking across to Roupert, I saw he was watching his
cousin with eager intentness.
I had to answer the direct
question he had put to me, but it required an effort to speak to him or to look
at him.
“No; personally I don’t care
about dogs,” I said. “I rather dislike them, and so enjoy a most unwelcome
popularity among them. Fifi, for instance: your cousin will tell you how blind
is her adoration for me!”
“See if Fifi will come to
you if I stand by you,” said Hampden. Fifi had half-emerged from her ambush
behind the curtains, and I called to her. But she would not leave the retreat
where her rage and terror had driven her. She gave a little apologetic whine,
as if to signify that I was asking an impossible thing, and beat with her
stumpy tail on the carpet.
“Now go back to your chair
again, Frank,” said Roupert.
Fifi needed no further
invitation when he had left my neighbourhood. She bundled herself across the
room to me, her thin white body curled like a comma, wriggling with delight and
making incomprehensible little explanations of her previous conduct. But the
moment that Hampden moved in his chair, she bolted away from me again.
He laughed and got up.
“Well, I think I shall go to
bed now that you have come to keep Arthur company,” he said. “By the way,
where’s your cat, Arthur? I haven’t seen her about all day.”
He was facing sideways to
Roupert as he spoke, and I noticed that he did not turn his head towards him.
This gave a certain casual cursory tone to his question, making it appear a
mere careless inquiry.
“I haven’t seen her either,”
said Roupert. “Perhaps, after taking counsel with Fifi, she has thought it prudent
to fly from your baleful presence. Good night, Frank. Can you manage for
yourself with your bandaged arm, or shall I come and help you?”
“Oh, I’m all right, thanks,”
he said; “good night. A kind good night, Fifi. We shall be good friends before
long.”
Arthur Roupert had retired
some two years before from regular medical practice, in which, as all the world
knows, he was undoubtedly the first authority on disease and aberrations of the
brain and nervous system, devoting his attention more particularly to those
riddles of obscure and baffling disorders to which he so often supplied strange
and correct answers. He was possessed of an ample competence, and so, finding
that his large professional practice did not permit him the leisure which was necessary
for these exploratory studies, he had, though always willing to be consulted by
his colleagues, thrown up an active career for one of research. He wanted to
learn rather than to practise, and without precisely mistrusting the methods
which had earned him so brilliant a success, had inferred the presence of huge
fields of the unknown, huge expanses of further possibilities which would
perhaps put utterly out of date the most advanced of theories and treatments
hitherto recognized in his profession. At the time of his retirement he had
once talked to me about the uncharted seas on to which he proposed to push
forth.
“The most advanced of actual
practitioners,” he said, “are but groping in the dark on the threshold of real
knowledge, feeling for the handle, fumbling for the bell. At the most, that is
to say, in cases of brain disease and nerve disorder we try to get at the mind
of the patient, and influence that, so that it, not we, may exert its healing
power, and cure the imperfect functioning of the material part. Of course
that is a tremendous step forward when we look at what medical science was
twenty years ago, when doctors prescribed tonics, tonics to heal the physical
damage caused by a disordered mind. But mind itself is but a very subordinate
denizen in that house of mystery which we call man.
“Mind is no more than the
servant who comes to the door, and takes your hat and coat, and tells you in a
word or two how the patient has been. Mind is not the master of the house, whom
you have really come to see, and who sits there alone, mortally sick, perhaps,
and in terror and darkness for the master of the house is the spirit. We have
got to examine him before we can touch the source of these diseases. For the
farther that science advances, the more certain it is that there is a master
sitting within to whom the mind is only the servant. As for the body, the
tissues, the nerves, the grey matter, what shall we say that is? Why, it’s no
more than the servant’s clothes, his jacket, or his boots. I’m not going to
stay talking in the hall to ‘mind,’ the servant, any longer. I shall leave him
there, and go straight up to the sick-chamber. I shall be called all sorts of
names—charlatan, spiritualist, what you will—but I don’t care two straws about
that. Besides, I know quite well that my colleagues will still be glad to call
me in when they are puzzled, and I hope to be better equipped to help them....
I won’t reject any jungle-path without exploring it, not witchcraft, nor demoniacal
possession, nor all the myths which science thinks she has exploded. In its
first origin everything must be spiritual, be it comet or toothache or genius.
Just as mental suggestion has taken the place of tonics, so must spiritual
healing take the place of mental suggestion. The spirit is the original
manifestation of God in man, and it is on prayer and on faith that the whole
science of healing will some day rest. But first we have to investigate the
conditions, the environment, the life....”
For these two years, then,
which had followed his retirement, Roupert had given himself to these studies
of occult and spiritual influences, learning about the healing powers contained
in mental suggestion, and trying to get behind that into the more elemental and
essential mysteries of man; leaving the servant, as he had said, in the hall of
the house, while he went further into the presence of the master of the house.
Often, during these “go-to-bed” cigarettes that multiplied themselves into the
night, he told me tales that did not make going to sleep any easier. Nothing
was too extravagant for his investigations; witchcraft, spiritualism, Satanism,
the healing touch, and, above all, demoniacal possession were the subjects of
this study that went deeper into the human organism than mind. There was no
myth or exploded superstition that he did not examine, to see whether the
explosion had been complete and shattering, or whether among the débris there
did not remain some grains of solid stuff that were still solid, though science
had affirmed that a puff of scattered smoke was all that was extant....
Consequently this evening, when Frank Hampden had gone to bed, I was quite
prepared to find that Roupert had something to tell, some guess to hazard that
had illumined his inquiries, the more so indeed because I had not seen him for
some dozen nights.
“Did you receive the message
I left at your house?” he asked abruptly as the door closed behind his cousin.
“No; I haven’t been home.
But your servant told me you had asked me to come in,” said I.
“Yes, I did. You have done
just what I wanted. In my note I asked you to come in and observe my cousin,
and tell me your impression. I saw you couldn’t help observing him, so now let
us have the impression.”
“Quite frankly? All?” I
said.
“Of course.”
“I never saw anyone so
utterly terrible,” I said.
“Terrible? Exactly how?” he
asked.
The very intensity of my
feeling about Hampden blurred the outline of it, and I paused trying to put a
definite shape to it.
“Incomparably terrible,” I
said. “Murderous, I think: murderous for the fun of it. I felt like Fifi.”
“I saw you did,” he said;
“and I suspect you are right, you and Fifi....”
He walked up and down the
room once or twice, then sat down with the air of settling himself.
“Did you hear him ask about
my cat?” he said. “He killed her last night; he buried her in the garden.”
There was a grotesqueness, a
ludicrousness even in this after the talk of murder, but that only added horror
to it.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Precisely what I say. It so
happened that I slept very badly last night, because, as a matter of fact, I
was thinking about Frank, and wondering if I was on the horrible track which
would show me what ailed him. About three in the morning I heard the door into
the garden being opened: the window of my bedroom, which was open, is just
above it. The idea of burglars occurred to me, and, without turning on my
light, I went and looked out. There was bright clear starlight, and I saw Frank
come out of the house carrying something white in his arm. He put it down to
fetch a spade from the tool-house, and I saw what it was. He dug up a couple of
plants with lumps of soil round their roots, working slowly, for he could only
use one arm. He buried the cat in the excavation, and very carefully replanted
the Michaelmas daisies over it. Then, more terribly yet, he knelt down by the
grave, and I could hear him sobbing.”
“Sobbing?” I asked.
“Yes. What he said to-night
is, or was, perfectly true. He used to be devoted to dogs and, indeed, all
animals, especially cats.... Now last night, out in the garden, he was in his
dressing-gown. Well, when he came down to breakfast this morning he said his
nose had been bleeding rather severely. He was uneasy about it, and I went up
to his bedroom and found a good deal of blood in his slop-pail. His
dressing-gown was lying on his bed, and there, too, was more blood and a
quantity of cat’s hairs. I told him not to think about it any more; there was
nothing in the least alarming, and when he had gone out, in order to make quite
sure, I dug up the Michaelmas daisies for the second time. Below, I found the
body of my poor cat. He had cut its throat.... He would kill Fifi if he could;
he is longing to.”
“But the fellow is a fiend!”
said I.
“For the present he is a
fiend, or something very like it. He used not to be until the day on which he
broke his arm. Pray God he will cease being what he is.”
“Till the day he broke his
arm?” I asked.
“Yes. Now do you want to
hear the wildest and most extravagant tale, which I believe to be literally and
awfully true?”
“Concerning this?” I asked.
“Of course. Also, are you
disposed to sit up late to-night? There may be some confirmatory evidence about
my story. I expect Reid, the medium, here at twelve. There is time for me to
give you my theory before he comes.”
“Till any hour,” said I.
“Good. Then listen.”
He spoke slowly, putting his
hands over his eyes, as he so often does when he wants to shut out all external
disturbances and concentrate himself on the history of a case.
“Two months ago,” he said,
“as you may possibly remember, a man called James Rolls was hanged at
Beltonborough for the most atrocious murder of his wife. The deed apparently
was quite objectless; there had been no quarrel, and after it was done he
seemed sometimes to be distressed at the crime, sobbing and crying, sometimes
to gloat over it, recounting it with gusto. There was no question whatever
about his guilt, only about his sanity, and with regard to that these fits of
remorse and enjoyment might be assumed in order to produce the impression that
he was not accountable for his actions. He was examined by a Government expert,
who asked me to come down with him and form my conclusion. We could neither of
us find any other symptom of insanity about him. But there was a certain
conjecture in my head about what we call the history of the case, and I stopped
down at Beltonborough for a day or two in order to make further observations.
“As I was having an
interview with him, I suddenly asked him this question, ‘Did you begin by
killing flies?’ Usually he was rather sullen and silent, and often would not
answer; but when I asked him this, his eye brightened, and he said, ‘Yes, flies
first, and then cats and dogs.’ After that I could get nothing further out of
him, but I had got what I expected to get. In all other respects he was, as far
as I could judge, perfectly sane, and it was scarcely possible to call him a
homicidal maniac, for he had never before shown signs of wanting to take human
life. As it was, he had committed an atrocious murder, and had he been shut up
as a homicidal maniac, I do not think there is any doubt that by this time he
would have killed a warder.
“Now no man in a fit of rage
is altogether sane, and yet we do not commute the sentence of those who have
killed another when beside themselves with passion, and James Rolls had not
even that extenuation. He was hanged.... But I feel convinced that Frank is
suffering from an early stage of James Rolls’s malady; I feel convinced also
that the hanging of James Rolls infected him with it.”
“The hanging of James Rolls
caused it?” I asked.
“I do not doubt it, as you
will see when I state my theory. But I hope to prove that my theory is correct,
and I hope to cure my cousin.”
Roupert sat up and looked at
me while he said this; then he sank back in his chair again, and, as before,
covered his eyes with his hands.
“Now for the theory,” he
said. “There is a very steep hill in Beltonborough with a sharp, dangerous
corner just outside the prison gate. Practically at the moment when James Rolls
was being taken to the scaffold, Frank came tearing down this hill on his
bicycle to catch an early train to town. He skidded and fell just outside the
prison, and sustained compound fracture of his right arm. It was important that
he should be moved as little as possible, and they carried him straight into
the prison infirmary, where chloroform was administered and the prison surgeon
set his arm. It was a very bad fracture, and he was under the anæsthetic for a
considerable time. And when he came round, he was changed.... It seemed as if
another spirit had taken possession of his body. He was not the same person:
from being a charming boy, he had become something hellish.”
Roupert sat up again and
looked at me.
“There is a theory,” he
said, “that in certain conditions, such as deep mesmeric trance, or under the
stupefaction of some complete anæsthetic, the bonds that seem so indissolubly
to unite a man’s spirit to his mind and his body are strangely loosened. The
condition approaches to that of temporary death: often under an anæsthetic the
beat of the heart is nearly suspended, often the breathing is nearly suspended,
and this happened to Frank under chloroform that morning. The connexion between
his spirit and his body was loosened....
“There is another theory
which you must consider also. It is proved, I think, beyond all doubt, that at
the moment of death, particularly of sudden and violent death, the spirit,
though severed from the body which it has inhabited, does not at once leave its
vicinity, but remains hovering near to its discarded tenement, from which it
has been expelled. Well, at that hour when Frank’s spirit was maintaining but a
relaxed hold on his body, another spirit, violent and strong, was close at hand—a
spirit that had just been disembodied.... And I believe the spirit of James
Rolls entered and took possession.”
I felt then what I have felt
before and since, namely, some stir of horror in my head that made my hair
move. You can often see it in dogs (I had seen it to-night in Fifi) when terror
or rage erects their hackles. But the experience was only momentary, and the
flame of this thing, its awful and burning quality, licked hotly round me....
“And how is Reid to help?” I
asked.
“He may be able to test for
us part, at any rate, of my theory,” said Roupert. “He is an extraordinarily
powerful medium in the way of producing materialized forms of spirits, and I
believe him to be honest and high-minded. Now if Frank’s body is possessed by
this murderous spirit, it is at least possible that Frank’s own spirit, now
unhoused and evicted, will be hovering near its rightful habitation. We will
ask if the spirit of Frank Hampden is here.We will ask if it can assume
material form. If Reid can produce this materialization, it will doubtless wear
the appearance of Frank. We will try, anyhow.... Ah, no doubt that is Reid....”
A very gentle tapping
sounded on the front door just outside the room, and Roupert got up.
“I told Reid not to ring,”
he said, “for fear that Frank should hear. I will let him in.”
He left the room, and in
another moment came back with the medium, a small, perfectly commonplace
looking man, smug and prosperous. Then I met his eyes and thought him
commonplace no longer. They seemed to look out and through and beyond.
In a few minutes Roupert,
who had often sat with Reid before, explained what was wanted. He told him that
we wished to know if the spirit of Frank Hampden was about, and, if so, whether
we could communicate with it, or see it. That was all.
Reid asked only one
question.
“Has Frank Hampden’s spirit
been long out of his body?” he said.
Roupert hesitated for a
moment.
“I believe it to have been
out of his body for about two months,” he answered.
The electric light was put
out, but the glow from the fire was bright enough to make a red twilight in the
room. I could clearly see the profile of the medium, black against that
illumination, the back of the chair in which he sat, the full face of Roupert, glints
of reflected light on the glass of pictures, and, with perfect distinctness,
Fifi, who had curled herself up on the hearthrug. Almost immediately the medium
went into trance, and I saw his head bowed over his chest, and heard his
breathing, which had been short and panting, as he passed into unconsciousness,
grow quiet again. How long we sat there in silence, without anything
supernormal occurring, I do not know, but it appeared to me not to be many
minutes before a very loud rap sounded from the table, which began to quiver under
our hands. Then Roupert asked:
“Is the spirit of Frank
Hampden here?”
There was the assent of
three raps.
“Shall we be able to see
you?” he asked.
There were two raps, and,
after a pause, a third.
Again we sat in silence,
this time for a much longer period, and I think the clock on the mantelpiece
twice chimed the quarter-hour. Then from the direction of the door there blew
across the room a very cold current of air, and the curtains in the window
stirred with it. Fifi, I imagine, felt it too, for she sat up, sneezed, and
drew herself a little nearer to the fire. Simultaneously I was inwardly aware
that there was something, somebody in the room which had not been there before.
It had not entered through the door, for when the current of air began to blow I
looked at it, and certainly it had not opened.
Then Roupert whispered.
“Look; it is coming.”
The medium’s head had fallen
back, and over his chest, in the region of the heart, there appeared a faint,
luminous area, inside which there was going on some energy, some activity.
Whorls and spirals of grey, curling and intertwining and growing thicker and
extending, began building themselves up in the air. For some little while I
could not make out what it was that was thus taking shape in the red twilight;
then as the materialization progressed, it defined itself into a human form
swathed in some misty and opaque vesture. At the top, above shoulders now quite
formed, there rose the outline of a head; features growing every moment more
distinct fashioned the face of it, and, pallid and silent, fading into darkness
below, stood the head and torso of a human being.
The face was clearly
recognizable; it was scarce an hour since I had looked on those features, but
it wore so heart-broken an anguish in the curves of that beautiful mouth and in
the tortured eyes, that my throat worked for very pity and compassion.
Then Roupert spoke.
“Frank,” he said.
The head bowed, the lips
moved, but I heard nothing.
“Why are you not in your
body?” he asked.
This time there came a
whisper just audible.
“I can’t, I can’t,” he said.
“Someone is there; someone terrible. For God’s sake, help me!”
The white agonized face grew
more convulsed.
“I can’t bear it,” it
said.... “For God’s sake, for God’s sake!...”
I looked away from that face
for a moment to the hearthrug where a sudden noise attracted my attention. Fifi
was sitting bolt upright looking eagerly upwards, and the noise I heard was the
pleased thumping of her tail.
Then she came cautiously
forward, still gazing at the image which an hour before had driven her frenzied
with rage and terror, uttering little anxious whinings, seeking attention.
Finally she held out a paw, and gave the short whisper of a bark with which she
demands the notice of her favourites.... And if I had been inclined to doubt
before, I think that I would now have been convinced that here in some
inscrutable manifestation was the true Frank Hampden.
Once more Roupert spoke.
“I will do all that man can
do, Frank,” he said, “and by God’s grace we will restore you.”
The figure slowly faded;
some of it seemed withdrawn back into the medium, some to be dispersed in the
dusk. Before long Reid’s breath again grew quick and laboured, as he passed out
of trance, and then drenched with sweat he came to himself.
Roupert told him that the
séance had been successful, and then, turning on the light again, we all sat
still while the medium recovered from his exhaustion. Before he left, Roupert
engaged him to hold himself in readiness for a further séance next day, in case
he was telephoned for; and when he had gone, we drew up our chairs to the fire,
while Fifi went nosing about the room as if searching for traces of a friend.
For a long time Roupert sat in silence, frowning heavily at the fire, asking me
some question from time to time, to satisfy himself that our impressions had
been identical. Then he appeared to make up his mind.
“I shall do it,” he said;
“at least, I shall make the attempt. That was Frank whom we saw just now; up to
that point my theory is confirmed. Of course, there’s a risk—there’s an awful
risk. But, Archdale, wouldn’t anybody take any risk to cure the anguish we
looked upon? That was a human spirit, man, disembodied but not dead, and it
knows that its earthly habitation is being defiled and profaned by that
murderous occupant. It sees the horrors that its own hands work; the brain that
was its pleasant servant is planning worse things yet. I can’t doubt that this
is so. No reasonable man can doubt so incredible and so damnable a thing. But
if the struggle that there must be is too much for the body that we seek to
free, good Lord, what a tale for a coroner’s inquest!”
“You mean that you risk your
cousin’s death?” I asked.
“Necessarily; who can tell
what will happen? But that is not all. For of what nature is the spirit which
we hope to expel from that poor lad’s body? A strong and a desperate one, or it
could never have taken possession of it. It will cling with all its force to
the tenement which it has usurped, and if we drive it out, if God helps us to
do that, what awful and evil power will once more be abroad! But we can’t help
that. There is holy justice and reparation to be done, and we can’t count the
cost. Now, let me think again!”
He got up and began pacing
up and down the room, now muttering to himself, now speaking aloud as if in
argument with me.
“It’s a terrible risk for
Reid, too,” he said, “for Reid most of all, for he will be in deep trance; such
power of faith as we can exert must defend him first of all.... Yet, we can’t
get at Rolls, I tell you, without the medium.... I must, of course, tell Reid
everything, and ask him if he will take the risk.... He may refuse, though I
don’t think he will, for there’s the courage of a saint in that man.... Then
there’s Frank, Frank’s body, I mean. That must be absolutely unconscious when
the operation takes place; no human nerves could stand it, nor with that fiend
in possession would he consent to it.... Deep, the deepest possible
unconsciousness.... By Jove, there’s that new German drug, which appears safe
enough, and it certainly produces a sleep that comes nearest of all to
death; it seems to stupefy the very spirit itself.... Hyocampine, of course;
don’t tell me you haven’t heard of it.... Tasteless too; it’s a good thing that
the criminal classes can’t get hold of it.... Well, there we are.... Prayer and
faith in an Almighty power.... Lighten our darkness, we beseech Thee, O
Lord.... He does too, if our motives are right; that’s one of the few facts we
can be quite sure about.... You can run a lot of risks if you utterly believe
that.”
Suddenly the whole burden of
perplexity and anxious thought seemed lifted off his mind.
“I’ll go and see Reid
to-morrow morning,” he said. “I believe he will consent when he knows all. And
you? Do you want to see the end of it? And look on the glory of God? Come if
you like, but if you come, you must be strung up to the highest pitch of trust
and serenity that you are capable of. Yes, do be here. You believe that all
evil, however deadly and powerful, is altogether inferior in calibre and
fighting power to good. Also I shall like a friend at my elbow. Perhaps I
oughtn’t to urge that as a reason, for I don’t want any personal feeling to
influence you. Only come if you want to witness the power of God, not Reid’s,
not mine; we are nothing at all except mere mossy channels.”
For one moment he paused,
and I knew that he was wavering himself, in the weakness of the flesh; but
instantly he got hold of himself again.
“There’s only one power
that can’t fail,” he said. “Hell crashes into fragments
against it.”
Next morning I got a note
from Roupert, saying that Reid consented, and asking me to come in to his house
punctually at half-past two, if I had decided to be with him. When I arrived I
found Roupert and Frank Hampden sitting over their coffee in the study. Hampden
had just drunk his.
“Isn’t there a home for cats
somewhere in Battersea?” he was asking. “I’ll go and find a new one for you, as
yours appears to have vanished entirely.”
He yawned.
“It’s a feeble habit to go
to sleep after lunch,” he said, “but I really think I shall have a nap. I’ve
got an astonishing inclination that way. Give me half an hour, will you, and
then we’ll go down to the cats’ home, and get a large fat cat.”
I guessed that Roupert had
already given his cousin the dose of hyocampine, but just as the latter was
pulling a chair round so that he need not face the light, he spoke.
“Make a proper job of it,
Frank,” he said, “and lie on the sofa. One always wakes feeling cramped if one
goes to sleep in a chair.”
Hampden’s eyelids were
already drooping, but he shuffled heavily across to the sofa.
“All right,” he mumbled,
“sorry for being so rude, Mr.—Mr. Archdale, but I must have just forty—I wonder
why forty——”
And immediately he went to sleep.
Roupert waited a moment, but
Hampden did not stir again. Then he went out, and returned with Reid, who had
been waiting in his bedroom. All explanations had already been made, and in
silence we darkened the room by drawing the thick curtains across the window.
Only a little light came in from their edges, but, as last night, the firelight
flickered on the walls. Then Roupert locked the door, and we took our places
round the table.
“Into Thy hands, O Lord, we
commend our spirits,” he said.
Before many minutes were
over the medium’s head dropped forward, and after a little struggle he went
into trance.
“The spirit of James Rolls,”
said Roupert.
In the silence that followed
I could hear the slow breathing of Hampden as he slept in that remote unconsciousness.
A chink of light from the window fell full on his face, and I could see it very
distinctly. Then, I heard him breathing quicker, and a shudder passed through
him, shaking the sofa where he lay. His face, hitherto serene and quiescent,
began to twitch.
“He can’t wake,” whispered
Roupert. “I gave him the full dose.”
Then, not from the door at
all, but from the direction of the sofa there came an icy blast of wind, and
simultaneously a shattering rap from the table.
“Is that James Rolls?” asked
Roupert.
Three raps answered him.
“Then in the name of God,”
said Roupert, in a loud, steady voice, “come from where you are, and be made
manifest.”
Suddenly Hampden began to
groan. His mouth worked, and he ground his teeth together. A horrible
convulsion seized his face, a distortion of rending agony, like that which
sometimes seizes on a dying man whose body clings desperately to the spirit
that is emerging from it. A rattle and a strangled gulping came from his
throat, and the foam gathered on his lips.
“It is there that you are,
James Rolls,” said Roupert in a loud voice of exultation. “In the name of God,
come out!”
The convulsions redoubled
themselves; the body writhed and bent like that of a poisoned man. Then round
the face, brightest about the mouth, there formed a pale greenish light,
corrupt and awful. It began to wreathe itself into lines and curves, weaving
and intertwining; it grew in height, like a luminous column built without
hands, in the darkness; it defined itself into human form, until in the air
just above the recumbent body it stood complete. With its emergence the
convulsions and the groanings subsided, and at the end, when this wraith in
semblance of a swathed man, with face of such murderous cruelty that I
shuddered as I looked at it, stood fully fashioned and finished, the body of
Frank Hampden lay quite still, in that sleep which was nearest of all to
death.
Then Roupert’s voice spoke
again, clear and peremptory and triumphant.
“Begone, James Rolls!” he
cried.
Very slowly the materialized
spirit began to move, floating like a balloon in an almost windless air. Slowly
it drifted towards us, with its eyes fixed on the unconscious medium and alight
with awful purpose, its mouth curled into some sort of hellish smile. It came
quite close to him, as if sucked there, and the edge of its outline began to
extend towards him a feeler, as of a little whirlpool of water drawn down into
a sink, till the end of it just touched him....
“In the name of the Holiest,
and by the power of the Highest,” shouted Roupert, “I bid you go to the place
that He has appointed for you.”
Then ... I can only describe
what happened by saying that some shock, blinding, deafening, overwhelming
every sense, shook the room. It leaped into a blaze of light, a thunder of
sound rent the air, and yet I knew that all this came from within, was the echo
of the spiritual crisis that raged round us made manifest to the bodily sense.
And silence as of the frozen Polar night succeeded....
Then once again a light
began to be built up over Hampden’s body that lay utterly still beside the
curtains. It fashioned itself, but only very faintly, into the outline of a
man, and this seemed to be drawn inwards and absorbed by that motionless
figure. We waited till it had disappeared altogether.
The medium stirred and
struggled.
“It is over,” he said, and
laid his head on his arms.
Roupert got up and drew back
the curtains. From outside the door came scratchings and whinings, and
presently he unlocked it, and let Fifi in. She saluted everybody in her
exuberant fashion; then came to the sofa, sniffed and jumped up on it, wagging
her tail.
It was not till late in the
afternoon that Frank Hampden came to himself. A beautiful spirit looked out of
those jolly boyish eyes.
2.MRS. ANDREWS’S CONTROL
Mrs.
Andrews was
certainly Athenian by nature, and it was her delight not only to hear some new
thing, but to put it into practice. Enjoying excellent health, she was able to
take almost any liberties with her constitution, and for a long time was
absorbed in the maelstrom of diets, each of which seemed to suit her to
perfection. For a couple of months she adopted the Pembroke treatment, and
droves of sheep were sacrificed to supply her with sufficient minced mutton,
while the utmost resources of the kitchen boiler were needed to give her the
oceans of hot water which she found it necessary to drink all day except at
meals. Having obtained the utmost benefits derivable from this system, she
nourished her ample and vigorous frame, by way of a change, on pyramids of
grated nuts, carefully weighed out, and it cannot be doubted that she would
enthusiastically have fed herself on chopped-up hard-boiled egg, like a canary,
if she could have found any system of diet that inculcated such a proceeding.
Her husband, for all his
mild and apparently yielding disposition, must at bottom have been a man of
iron soul, for he absolutely refused to embark on any of these experiments,
though he never dissuaded his wife from so doing, and stuck firmly, like a
limpet, to his three solid and satisfactory meals, not disdaining minced
mutton, nor even a modicum of milled nuts, when he felt that they would be
agreeable, but adding them to his ordinary diet, without relying on them. The
two, childless and middle-aged, lived in extreme happiness and comfort
together, and no doubt Mrs. Andrews’s enthusiasms, and the perennial amusement
her husband derived from them, served to keep the sunlight of life shining on
them. They were never bored and always busy, which, perhaps, even more than
diet, secured them serenity of health.
But the time came when Mrs.
Andrews, in an unacknowledged despair of feeling better and more vigorous
physically than she always did, turned her Athenian mind towards mental and
psychical fads. She began by telling the fortunes of her friends by means of
cards, and, though she could always say how she knew, following the rules of
her primer, that her husband had had scarlet fever when he was twenty-three,
yet the fact that she knew it perfectly well without the help of the cards made
the divination rather less amazing. She tried Christian Science, though only
for a short time, since no amount of demonstration over false claims could rid
her one day of the conviction that she had a raging toothache, whereas the
dentist convinced her in a moment, by the short though agonizing application of
the pincers, that he could remove the toothache, which had resisted all
the precepts of her temporary creed.
An excursion into the realms
of astrology succeeded this, and conjointly a study of palmistry, and at this
point her husband, for the first time, began to take an interest in his wife’s
preoccupations. It certainly did seem very odd that his horoscope should
testify to the identical events which the lines in his hand so plainly showed
his wife, and certain apparent discrepancies were no doubt capable of
explanation. When he knew that the right hand indicated what Nature meant him
to be, and the left what he had made of himself, it could not but be gratifying
to find he had lived so closely up to his possibilities, and it was pleasant,
again, to find his wife so enthusiastic about his plump, pink palm.
“A most remarkable hand,
dear,” she said. “I never saw evidence of such pluck and determination. And
look at your Mount of Jupiter! Splendid!”
Mr. Andrews did not know
exactly what the Mount of Jupiter was, but he knew what pluck and determination
were.
“Upon my word, my dear,” he
said, “there may be something in it. I will borrow your primer, if I may. And
now about the future.”
Mrs. Andrews was already
peering eagerly into the future. This was as splendid as the Mount of Jupiter.
“Such a line of life!” she
said. “Let me see, you are fifty-eight, are you not? Well, on it goes—sixty,
seventy, eighty, without a break in it. Why, I declare it reaches ninety,
Henry!”
This was very gratifying,
and it showed only ordinary politeness on Henry’s part to inquire into his
wife’s prospects.
“Ah, I haven’t such a line
as you, dear,” she said. “But, after all, if I live in perfect health till I am
eighty-two, which is what my hand tells me, I’m sure there’s no reason to
complain, and I for one shan’t.”
But when Mrs. Andrews had
told the fortunes of her husband and all her friends, and secured them, on the
whole, such charming futures, it was no wonder that she went further into
matters more psychical and occult. A course of gazing into the most expensive
crystal proved disappointing, since she could never see anything except the
reflection of the objects in the room, while her husband, now actively taking
part in these investigations, merely fell asleep when he attempted to see
anything there. They both hoped that this might not be ordinary sleep, but the
condition of deep trance which they found was one of the accompanying phenomena,
and productive of great results; but these trances were so deep that no
recollection of what occurred therein ever remained in his mind, with the
exception of one occasion, on which he dreamed about boiled rabbit. As he had
partaken of this disgusting provender at lunch that day, both Mrs. Andrews
and he regarded this dream as retrospective in character, and as not possessed
of prophetic significance.
It was about this time that
they both became members of the Psychical Research Society, and their attention
could not but be struck by the wonderful phenomena resulting from the practice
of automatic writing. If you had a psychical gift in this direction—and it was
now the settled conviction of both Henry Andrews and his wife that they had—all
apparently that had to be done was to hold a pencil over a writing-pad
conveniently placed, abstract your mind from the hand that held the pencil, and
sit there to see what happened. The theory was that some controlling spirit
might take possession of the pencil and dictate messages from the other world,
which the pencil would record. Eager study of the psychical journals warned
them that patient practice might be necessary before any results were arrived
at, the reason being that the control must get used to the novel instrument of
communication; and warning was given that they must not be discouraged if for a
long time nothing was recorded on the paper except meaningless lines. But it
appeared that most people, if they would only be patient enough, would be rewarded
by symptoms of the presence of a control before very long, and when once a
beginning was made, progress was apt to be very rapid. It was recommended also
that practice should be regular, and, if possible, should take place at
the same time every day.
The idea fired Mrs. Andrews
at once.
“Upon my word, dear Henry,”
she said, “I think it is very well worth trying, for the crystal is yielding no
results at all. Psychical gifts are possessed by everybody in some degree, so
this very interesting article says, and if ours do not lie in the direction of
crystal-gazing, it makes it all the more probable that we shall achieve
something in automatic writing. And as for a regular time for practising it,
what could be more pleasant than to sit out in the garden after tea, when you
have come in from your golf, and enjoy these warm evenings, with the feeling
that we are occupying ourselves, instead of sitting idle, as we are apt to do?”
Henry distinctly approved of
the suggestion. He was often a little fatigued after his golf, though he was
going to live till ninety, and the prospect of sitting quietly in a chair in
the garden, instead of feeling that he ought to be weeding, was quite a
pleasant one.
“Then shall we each sit with
paper and pencil, dear?” he asked.
Mrs. Andrews referred to the
essay that gave elementary instruction.
“Certainly,” she said. “We
will try that first. They say that two hands holding the pencil often produce
extraordinary results, but we will begin, as they suggest, singly. I
declare that my hand feels quite fidgety already, as if the control was just
waiting for the means of communication to be prepared.”
Everything in Mrs. Andrews’s
house was in apple-pie order, and it took her no time at all to find two
writing-pads and a couple of sharpened pencils. With these she rejoined her
husband on the paved walk, where they had had tea, outside the drawing-room,
and, with pencil in hand, fixed her eye firmly on the top of the mulberry tree
at the edge of the lawn, and waited. He, with left hand free for his cigarette,
did the same, but his mind kept going back to the boiled rabbit he had dreamed
of after crystal-gazing, which still seemed to him a very unusual occurrence,
for, to the best of his recollection, he had never dreamed of boiled rabbit
before.
Within a few days’ time very
promising developments had taken place. Almost immediately Mrs. Andrews had
begun to trace angled lines on the paper, which, if they did not suggest
anything else particular, were remarkably like the temperature chart of a very
feverish patient. Her hand, seemingly without volition on her part, made
energetic dashes and dabs all over the paper, and she felt a very odd tingling
sensation in her fingers, which could scarcely be put down to anything else
than the presence of the control.
Her husband, scarcely less
fortunate, also began to trace queer patterns of irregular curves on his sheet,
which looked very much as if they were words. But though they were like words,
they were not any known words, whichever way up you attempted to read them,
though, as Mrs. Andrews said, they might easily be Russian or Chinese, which
would account for their being wholly meaningless to the English eye. Sheets of
possible Russian were thus poured out by Mr. Andrews, and whole hospital
records of fever charts on the part of his wife, but neither at present came
within measurable distance of intelligibility. The control seemed incapable of
making itself understood. Then on a memorable day Mr. Andrews’s pencil evinced
an irresistible desire to write figures, and after inscribing “one, two, one,
two,” a great many times, wrote quite distinctly 4958, and gave a great dash as
if it had said its last word.
“And what 4958 indicates, my
dear,” said he, passing it over to Mrs. Andrews, “I think we must leave to the
control to determine.”
She looked at it a moment in
silence; then, a great thought splendidly striking her, she rose in some
excitement.
“Henry, it is as plain as
plain,” she said. “I am forty-nine; you are fifty-eight. Our ages are thus
wonderfully conjoined. It certainly means that we must act together. Come and
hold my pencil with me.”
“Well, that is very
curious,” said Henry, and did as he was told.
At this point their
experiments entered the second phase, and the pencil thus jointly held at once
developed an intelligible activity. Instead of mere fever charts and numerals,
it began to produce whole sentences which were true to the point of being
positive truisms. Before they went to dinner that night, they were told, in a large,
sprawling hand, that “Wisdom is more than wealth,” and that “Fearlessness is
best,” and that “Hate blinds the eyes of Love.” The very next day more
unimpeachable sentiments were poured forth, and at the end was written, “From
Pocky.”
Pocky, then, was clearly the
control; he became to Mr. and Mrs. Andrews an established personality with a
mind stored with moral generalities. Very often some practical application
could be made of his dicta, as, for instance, when Mr. Andrews was hesitating
as to whether to invest quite a considerable sum of money in a rather
speculative venture. But, recollecting that Pocky had said that “Wisdom is
better than wealth,” he very prudently refrained, and had the satisfaction of
seeing the speculative concern come a most tremendous smash very soon after.
But it required a good deal of ingenuity to fit Pocky’s utterances into the
affairs of daily life, and Mr. Andrews was getting a little tired of these
generalities, when the curtain went up on the third phase.
This was coincident with the
outbreak of the German war, when nothing else was present in the minds of
husband and wife, and Pocky suddenly became patriotic and truculent. For a
whole evening he wrote, “Kill them. Treacherous Germans. Avenge the scrap of
paper,” and very soon after, just when England generally was beginning to be
excited over the rumour that hosts of Russians were passing through the country
to the French battle-front, he made a further revelation of himself.
“The hosts of Russia are
with you,” he wrote, “Cossacks from the Steppes, troops of the Great White
Tsar. Hundreds and thousands, Russia to England, England to France. The Allies
triumph. From Pocksky.” The pencil gave a great dash and flew from the fingers
that held it.
It was all most clearly written,
and in a voice that trembled with excitement, Mrs. Andrews read it out.
“There, my dear,” she said,
“I don’t think we need have any further doubt about the Russians. And look how
it is signed—not Pocky any longer, but Pocksky. That is a Russian name, if ever
there was one!”
“Pocksky—so it is,” said Mr.
Andrews, putting on his spectacles. “Well, that is most wonderful. And to think
that in those early days, when my pencil used to write things we couldn’t read,
you suggested it might be Russian!”
“I feel no doubt that it
was,” said Mrs. Andrews firmly. “I wish now that we had kept them, and my
writing, too, which you used to call the fever charts. I dare say some
poor fellow in hospital had temperatures like that.”
Mr. Andrews did not feel so
sure of this.
“That sounds a little
far-fetched, dear,” he said, “though I quite agree with you about the
possibility of its being Pocksky who wrote through me. I wonder who he was?
Some great general, probably.”
You can easily imagine the
excitement that pervaded Oakley in the weeks that followed, when every day
brought some fresh butler or railway porter into the public press, who had told
somebody who had told the author of the letter in question that he had seen
bearded soldiers stepping out of trains with blinds drawn down, and shaking the
snow off their boots. It mattered nothing that the whole romance was officially
denied; indeed, it only made Mrs. Andrews very indignant at the suppression of
war news.
“The War Office may say what
it likes,” she exclaimed, “and, indeed, it seems to make it its business to
deny what we all know to be true. I think I must learn a few words of Russian,
in case I meet any soldier with a beard—‘God Save the Tsar!’ or something of
the kind. I shall send for a Russian grammar. Now, let us see what Pocksky has
to tell us to-night.”
That no further confirmation
of Pocksky’s announcements on this subject ever came to light was scarcely
noticed by the automatic writers, for Pocksky was bursting with other
news. He rather terrified his interpreters, when there was nervousness about
possible Zeppelin raids, by saying: “Fires from the wicked ones in the clouds.
Fourteen, twelve, fourteen, cellar best,” since this could hardly mean anything
but that a raid was to be expected on the fourteenth of December; and Mr. and
Mrs. Andrews—and, indeed, a large number of their friends—spent the evening in
their cellars, coming out again when it was definitely after midnight. But the
relief at finding that no harm had been done speedily obliterated the feeling
that Pocksky had misled them, and when, on Christmas Eve, he said, “Spirit of
Peace descends,” though certain people thought he meant that the War would soon
be over, the truce on the Western Front for Christmas Day was more generally
believed to bear out this remarkable prophecy.
All through the spring
Pocksky continued voluble. He would not definitely commit himself over the
course that Italy was to take, but, as Mrs. Andrews triumphantly pointed out,
Italy would not definitely commit herself either, which just showed how right
Pocksky was. He rather went back to the Pocky style over this, and said:
“Prudence is better than precipitation; Italy prepares before making decision.
Wisdom guides her counsels, and wisdom is ever best. From Pocksky.”
Intermittently the forcing of the Dardanelles occupied him.
Now, here a rather odd point
arose. Mr. Andrews at this time had to spend a week in town, and only Mrs.
Andrews held the pencil which the intelligence of Pocksky used to express
himself with. In all these messages Pocksky spelled the name of the straits
“Dardanels,” which, for all I know, may be the Russian form. But two days ago
Mrs. Andrews kindly sent me one of his messages, which I was glad to see was
most optimistic in tone. She enclosed a note from herself, saying:
“You will like to see what
Pocksky says about the Dardanels. Isn’t he wonderful?”
So Mrs. Andrews, writing
independently of Pocksky, spells Dardanelles the same way as Pocksky does when
he controls the pencil. I cannot help wondering if the control is—shall we
say?—quite complete. I wonder also how the straits will get themselves spelt
when Mr. Andrews returns. It is all rather puzzling.
3.THE APE
Hugh
Marsham had
spent the day, as a good tourist should, in visiting the temples and the tombs
of the kings across the river, and the magic of the hour of sunset flamed over
earth and heaven as he crossed the Nile again to Luxor in his felucca. It
seemed as if the whole world had been suddenly transferred into the heart of an
opal, and burned with a myriad fiery colours. The river itself was of the green
that beech trees are clad in at spring-time; the columns of the temple that
stood close to its banks glowed as if lit from within by the flame of some
perpetual evening sacrifice; the cloudless sky was dusky blue in the east, the
blue of turquoise overhead, and melted into aqua-marine above the line of
desert where the sun had just sunk. All along the bank which he was fast
approaching under the press of the cool wind from the north were crowds of
Arabs, padding softly home in the dust from their work, and chattering as
sparrows chatter among the bushes in the long English twilights. Even the dust
that hovered and hung and was dispersed again by the wind was rainbowed; it
caught the hues from the river and the sky and the orange-flaming temple, and
those who walked in it were clad in brightness.
Here in the South no long
English twilight lingered, and as he walked up the dusky fragrant tunnel of
mimosa that led to the hotel, night thickened, and in the sky a million stars
leaped into being, while the soft gathering darkness sponged out the glories of
the flaming hour. On the hotel steps the vendors of carpets and Arabian
hangings, of incense and filigree work, of suspicious turquoises and more than
suspicious scarabs were already packing up their wares, and probably recounting
to each other in their shrill incomprehensible gabble the iniquitous bargains
they had made with the gullible Americans and English, who so innocently purchased
the wares of Manchester. Only in his accustomed corner old Abdul still
squatted, for he was of a class above the ordinary vendors, a substantial
dealer in antiques, who had a shop in the village, where archæologists
resorted, and bought, sub rosa, pieces that eventually found their
way into European museums. He was in his shop all day, but evening found him,
when serious business hours were over, on the steps of the hotel, where he sold
undoubted antiquities to tourists who wanted something genuine.
The day had been very hot,
and Hugh felt himself disposed to linger outside the hotel in this cool dusk,
and turn over the tray of scarabs which Abdul Hamid presented to his notice. He
was a wrinkled, dried-up husk of a man, loquacious and ingratiating in manner,
and welcomed Hugh as an old customer.
“See, sir,” he said, “here
are two more scroll-scarabs like those you bought from me before the week. You
should have these; they are very fine and very cheap, because I do no business
this year. Mr. Rankin, you know him? of the British Museum, he give me two
pounds each last year for scroll-scarabs not so fine, and to-day I sell them at
a pound and a half each. Take them; they are yours. Scroll-scarabs of the
twelfth dynasty; if Mr. Rankin were here he pay me two pounds each, and be
sorry I not ask more.”
Hugh laughed.
“You may sell them to Mr.
Rankin then,” he said. “He comes here to-morrow.”
The old man, utterly
unabashed, grinned and shook his head.
“No; I promised you them for
pound and a half,” he said. “I am not cheat-dealer. They are yours—pound and a
half. Take them, take them.”
Hugh resisted this
unparalleled offer, and, turning over the contents of the tray, picked out of
it and examined carefully a broken fragment of blue glaze, about an inch in
height. This represented the head and shoulders of an ape, and the fracture had
occurred half-way down the back, so that the lower part of the trunk, the
forearms which apparently hung by its sides, and the hind legs were missing. On
the back there was an inscription in hieroglyphics, also broken. Presumably
the missing piece contained the remainder of the letters. It was modelled with
extreme care and minuteness, and the face wore an expression of grotesque
malevolence.
“What’s this broken bit of a
monkey?” asked Hugh carelessly.
Abdul, looking much like a
monkey himself, put his eyes close to it.
“Ah, that’s the rarest thing
in Egypt,” he said, “so Mr. Rankin he tell me, if only the monkey not broken.
See the back? There it says: ‘He of whom this is, let him call on me
thrice’—and then some son of a dog broke it. If the rest was here, I would not
take a hundred pounds for it; but now ten years have I kept half-monkey, and
never comes half-monkey to it. It is yours, sir, for a pound it is yours.
Half-monkey nothing to me; it is fool-monkey only being half-monkey. I let it
go—I give it you, and you give me pound.”
Hugh Marsham felt in one
pocket, then in another, with no appearance of hurry or eagerness.
“There’s your pound,” he
said casually.
Abdul peered at him in the
dusk. It was very odd that Hugh did not offer him half what he asked, instead
of paying up without bargaining. He regretted extremely that he had not asked
more. But the little blue fragment was now in Hugh’s pocket, and the sovereign
glistened very pleasantly in his own palm.
“And what was the rest of
the hieroglyphic, do you think?” Hugh asked.
“Eh, Allah only knows the
wickedness and the power of the monkeys,” said Abdul. “Once there were such in
Egypt, and in the temple of Mut in Karnak, which the English dug up, you shall
see a chamber with just such monkeys sitting round it, four of them, all carved
in sandstone. But on them there is no writing; I have looked at them behind and
before; they not master-monkeys. Perhaps the monkey promised that whoso called
on him thrice, if he were owner of the blue image of which gentleman has the
half, would be his master, and that monkey would do his bidding. Who knows? It
is of the old wickedness of the world, the old Egyptian blackness.”
Hugh got up. He had been out
in the sun all day, and felt at this moment a little intimate shiver, which
warned him that it was wiser to go indoors till the chill of sunset had passed.
“I expect you’ve tried it on
with the half-monkey, haven’t you?” he said.
Abdul burst out into a
toothless cackle of laughter.
“Yes, effendi,” he said. “I
have tried it a hundred times, and nothing happens. Else I would not have sold
it you. Half-monkey is no monkey at all. I have tried to make boy with the
ink-mirror see something about monkeys, but nothing comes, except the clouds
and the man who sweeps. No monkey.”
Hugh nodded to him.
“Good-night, you old
sorcerer,” he said pleasantly.
As he walked up the broad
flagged passage to his room, carrying the half-monkey in his hand, Hugh felt
with a disengaged thumb in his waistcoat pocket for something he had picked up
that day in the valley of the tombs of the kings. He had eaten his lunch there,
after an inspection of the carved and reeking corridors, and, as he sat idly
smoking, had reached out a lazy hand to where this thing had glittered among
the pebbles. Now, entering his room, he turned up the electric light, and,
standing under it with his back to the window, that opened, door fashion, on to
the three steps that led into the hotel garden, he fitted the fragment he had
found to the fragment he had just purchased. They joined on to each other with
the most absolute accuracy, not a chip was missing. There was the complete ape,
and down its back ran the complete legend.
The window was open, and at
this moment he heard a sudden noise as of some scampering beast in the garden
outside. His light streamed out in an oblong on to the sandy path, and, laying
the two pieces of the image on the table, he looked out. But there was nothing
irregular to be seen; the palm trees waved and clashed in the wind, and the
rose bushes stirred and scattered their fragrance. Only right down the middle
of the sandy path that ran between the beds, the ground was curiously
disturbed, as by some animal, heavily frolicking, scooping and spurning the
light soil as it ran.
The midday train from Cairo
next day brought Mr. Rankin, the eminent Egyptologist and student of occult
lore, a huge red man with a complete mastery of colloquial Arabic. He had but a
day to spend in Luxor, for he was en route for Merawi, where
lately some important finds had been made; but Hugh took occasion to show him
the figure of the ape as they sat over their coffee in the garden just outside
his bedroom after lunch.
“I found the lower half
yesterday outside one of the tombs of the kings,” he said, “and the top half by
the utmost luck among old Abdul’s things. He told me you said that if it was
complete it would be of the greatest rarity. He lied, I suppose?”
Rankin gave one gasp of amazed
surprise as he looked at it and read the inscription on the back. Marsham
thought that his great red face suddenly paled.
“Good Lord!” he said. “Here,
take it!” And he held out the two pieces to him.
Hugh laughed.
“Why in such a hurry?” he
said.
“Because there comes a
breaking-point to every man’s honesty, and I might keep it, and swear that I
had given it back to you. My dear fellow, do you know what you’ve got?”
“Indeed I don’t. I want to
be told,” said Hugh.
“And to think that it was
you who only a couple of months ago asked me what a scarab was! Well, you’ve
got there what all Egyptologists, and even more keenly than Egyptologists all
students of folk-lore and magic black and white—especially black—would give
their eyes to have found. Good Lord! what’s that?”
Hugh was sitting by his side
in a deck-chair, idly fitting together the two halves of the broken image. He
too heard what had startled Rankin; for it was the same noise as had startled
him last night, namely, the scampering of some great frolicsome animal,
somewhere close to them. As he jumped up, severing his hands, the noise ceased.
“Funny,” he said, “I heard
that last night. There’s nothing; it’s some stray dog in the bushes. Do tell me
what it is that I’ve got.”
Rankin, who had surged to his
feet also, stood listening a moment. But there was nothing to be heard but the
buzzing of bees in the bushes and the chiding of the remote kites overhead. He
sat down again.
“Well, give me two minutes,”
he said, “and I can tell you all I know. Once upon a time, when this wonderful
and secret land was alive and not dead—oh, we have killed it with our
board-schools and our steamers and our religion—there was a whole hierarchy of
gods, Isis, Osiris, and the rest, of whom we know a great deal. But below
them there was a company of semi-divinities, demons if you will, of whom we
know practically nothing. The cat was one, certain dwarfish creatures were
others, but most potent of all were the cynocephali, the dog-faced apes. They
were not divine, rather they were demons, of hideous power, but”—and
he pointed a great hand at Hugh—“they could be controlled. Men could control
them, men could turn them into terrific servants, much as the genii in the
‘Arabian Nights’ were controlled. But to do that you had to know the secret
name of the demon, and had yourself to make an image of him, with the secret
name inscribed thereon, and by that you could summon him and all the incarnate
creatures of his species.
“So much we know from
certain very guarded allusions in the Book of the Dead and other sources, for
this was one of the great mysteries never openly spoken of. Here and there a
priest in Karnak, or Abydos, or in Hieropolis, had had handed down to him one
of those secret names, but in nine cases out of ten the knowledge died with
him, for there was something dangerous and terrible about it all. Old Abdul
here, for instance, believes that Moses had the secret names of frogs and lice,
and made images of them with the secret name inscribed on them, and by those
produced the plagues of Egypt. Think what you could do, think what he did, if
infinite power over frog-nature were given you, so that the king’s chamber
swarmed with frogs at your word. Usually, as I said, the secret name was but
sparingly passed on, but occasionally some very bold advanced spirit, such as
Moses, made his image, and controlled——”
He paused a moment, and Hugh
wondered if he was in some delirious dream. Here they were, taking coffee and
cigarettes underneath the shadow of a modern hotel in the
year A.D. 1912, and this great savant was talking to him about the
spell that controlled the whole frog-nature in the universe. The gist, the
moral of his discourse, was already perfectly clear.
“That’s a good joke,” Hugh
said. “You told your story with extraordinary gravity. And what you mean is
that those two blue bits I hold in my hand control the whole ape-nature of the
world? Bravo, Rankin! For a moment, you and your impressiveness almost made me
take it all seriously. Lord! You do tell a story well! And what’s the secret
name of the ape?”
Rankin turned to him with
the shake of an impressive forefinger.
“My dear boy,” he said, “you
should never be disrespectful towards the things you know nothing of. Never say
a thing is moonshine till you know what you are talking about. I know, at this
moment, exactly as much as you do about your ape-image, except that I can
translate its inscription, which I will do for you. On the top half is
written, ‘He, of whom this is, let him call on me thrice——’”
Hugh interrupted.
“That’s what Abdul read to
me,” he said.
“Of course. Abdul knows
hieroglyphics. But on the lower half is what nobody but you and I know. ‘Let
him call on me thrice,’ says the top half, and then there speaks what you
picked up in the valley of the tombs, ‘and I, Tahu-met, obey the order of the
Master.’”
“Tahu-met?” asked Hugh.
“Yes. Now in ten minutes I
must be off to catch my train. What I have told you is all that is known about
this particular affair by those who have studied folk-lore and magic, and
Egyptology. If anything—if anything happens, do be kind enough to let me know.
If you were not so abominably rich I would offer you what you liked for that
little broken statue. But there’s the way of the world!”
“Oh, it’s not for sale,”
said Hugh gaily. “It’s too interesting to sell. But what am I to do next with
it? Tahu-met? Shall I say Tahu-met three times?”
Rankin leaned forward very
hurriedly, and laid his fat hand on the young man’s knee.
“No, for Heaven’s sake! Just
keep it by you,” he said. “Be patient with it. See what happens. You might mend
it, perhaps. Put a drop of gum-arabic on the break and make it whole. By the
way, if it interests you at all, my niece Julia Draycott arrives here this
evening, and will wait for me here till my return from Merawi. You met her in
Cairo, I think.”
Certainly this piece of news
interested Hugh more than all the possibilities of apes and super-apes. He
thrust the two pieces of Tahu-met carelessly into his pocket.
“By Jove, is she really?” he
said. “That’s splendid. She told me she might be coming up, but didn’t feel at
all sure. Must you really be off? I shall come down to the station with you.”
While Rankin went to gather
up such small luggage as he had brought with him, Hugh wandered into the hotel
bureau to ask for letters, and seeing there a gum-bottle, dabbed with gum the
fractured edges of Tahu-met. The two pieces joined with absolute exactitude,
and wrapping a piece of paper round them to keep the edges together, he went
out through the garden with Rankin. At the hotel gate was the usual crowd of
donkey-boys and beggars, and presently they were ambling down the village
street on bored white donkeys. It was almost deserted at this hottest hour of
the afternoon, but along it there moved an Arab leading a large grey ape, that
tramped surlily in the dust. But just before they overtook it, the beast looked
round, saw Hugh, and with chatterings of delight strained at his leash. Its
owner cursed and pulled it away, for Hugh nearly rode over it, but it paid
no attention to him, and fairly towed him along the road after the donkeys.
Rankin looked at his
companion.
“That’s odd,” he said.
“That’s one of your servants. I’ve still a couple of minutes to spare. Do you
mind stopping a moment?”
He shouted something in the
vernacular to the Arab, who ran after them, with the beast still towing him on.
When they came close the ape stopped and bent his head to the ground in front
of Hugh.
“And that’s odd,” said
Rankin.
Hugh suddenly felt rather
uncomfortable.
“Nonsense!” he said. “That’s
just one of his tricks. He’s been taught it to get baksheesh for his master.
Look, there’s your train coming in. We must get on.”
He threw a couple of
piastres to the man, and they rode on. But when they got to the station,
glancing down the road, he saw that the ape was still looking after them.
Julia Draycott’s arrival
that evening speedily put such antique imaginings as the lordship of apes out
of Hugh’s head. He chucked Tahu-met into the box where he kept his scarabs and
ushapti figures, and devoted himself to this heartless and exquisite girl,
whose mission in life appeared to be to make as miserable as possible the
largest possible number of young men. Hugh had already been selected by
her in Cairo as a decent victim, and now she proceeded to torture him. She had
no intention whatever of marrying him, for poor Hugh was certainly ugly, with
his broad, heavy face, and though rich, he was not nearly rich enough. But he
had a couple of delightful Arab horses, and so, since there was no one else on
hand to experiment with, she let him buy her a side-saddle, and be, with his
horses, always at her disposal. She did not propose to use him for very long,
for she expected young Lord Paterson (whom she did intend to marry) to follow her
from Cairo within a week. She had beat a Parthian retreat from him, being
convinced that he would soon find Cairo intolerable without her; and in the
meantime Hugh was excellent practice. Besides, she adored riding.
They sat together one
afternoon on the edge of the river opposite Karnak. She had treated him like a
brute beast all morning, and had watched his capability for wretchedness with
the purring egoism that distinguished her; and now, as a change, she was seeing
how happy she could make him.
“You are such a dear,” she
said. “I don’t know how I could have endured Luxor without you; and, thanks to
you, it has been the loveliest week.”
She looked at him from below
her long lashes, through which there gleamed the divinest violet, smiling like
a child at her friend. “And to-night? You made some delicious plan for
to-night.”
“Yes; it’s full moon
to-night,” said he. “We are going to ride out to Karnak after dinner.”
“That will be heavenly. And,
Mr. Marsham, do let us go alone. There’s sure to be a mob from the hotel, so
let’s start late, when they’ve all cleared out. Karnak in the moonlight, just
with you.”
That completely made Hugh’s
mind up. For the last three days he had been on the look out for a moment that
should furnish the great occasion; and now (all unconsciously, of course) she
indicated it to him. This evening, then. And his heart leaped.
“Yes, yes,” he said. “But
why have I become Mr. Marsham again?”
Again she looked at him, now
with a penitent mouth.
“Oh, I was such a beast to
you this morning,” she said. “That was why. I didn’t deserve that you should be
Hugh. But will you be Hugh again? Do you forgive me?”
In spite of Hugh’s fixing
the great occasion for this evening, it might have come then, so bewitching was
her penitence, had not the rest of their party on donkeys, whom they had
outpaced, come streaming along the river bank at this moment.
“Ah, those tiresome people,”
she said. “Hughie, what a bore everybody else is except you and me.”
They got back to the hotel
about sunset, and as they passed into the hall the porter handed Julia a
telegram which had been waiting some couple of hours. She gave a little
exclamation of pleasure and surprise, and turned to Hugh.
“Come and have a turn in the
garden, Hughie,” she said, “and then I must go down for the arrival of the
boat. When does it come in?”
“I should think it would be
here immediately,” he said. “Let’s go down to the river.”
Even as he spoke the whistle
of the approaching steamer was heard. The girl hesitated a moment.
“It’s a shame to take up all
your time in the way I’m doing,” she said. “You told me you had letters to
write. Write them now; then—then you’ll be free after dinner.”
“To-morrow will do,” he
said. “I’ll come down with you to the boat.”
“No, you dear, I forbid it,”
she said. “Oh, do be good, and write your letters. I ask you to.”
Rather puzzled and vaguely
uncomfortable, Hugh went into the hotel. It was true that he had told her he
had letters that should have been written a week ago, but something at the back
of his mind insisted that this was not the girl’s real reason for wanting him
to do his task now. She wanted to go and meet the boat alone, and on the moment
an unfounded jealousy stirred like a coiled snake in him. He told himself that
it might be some inconvenient aunt whom she was going to meet, but such a
suggestion did not in the least satisfy him when he remembered the obvious
pleasure with which she had read the telegram that no doubt announced this
arrival. But he nailed himself to his writing-table till a couple of very tepid
letters were finished, and then, with growing restlessness, went out through
the hall into the warm, still night. Most of the hotel had gone indoors to
dress for dinner, but sitting on the veranda with her back to him was Julia. A chair
was drawn in front of her, and facing her was a young man, on whose face the
light shone. He was looking eagerly at her, and his hand rested on her knee.
Hugh turned abruptly and went back into the hotel.
He and Julia for these last
three days had, with two other friends, made a very pleasant party of four at
lunch and dinner. To-night, when he entered the dining-room, he found that
places were laid here for three only, and that at a far-distant table in the
window were sitting Julia and the young man whom he had seen with her on the
veranda. His identity was casually disclosed as dinner went on; one of his
companions had seen Lord Paterson in Cairo. Hugh had only a wandering ear for
table-talk, but a quick glancing eye, ever growing more sombre, for those in
the window, and his heavy face, as he noted the tokens and signs of their
intimacy, grew sullen and savage. Then, before dinner was over, they rose and
passed out into the garden.
Jealousy can no more bear to
lose sight of those to whom it owes its miseries than love can bear to be
parted from the object of its adoration, and presently Hugh and his two
friends went and sat, as was usual with them, on the veranda outside. Here and
there about the garden were wandering couples, and in the light of the full
moon, which was to be their lamp at Karnak to-night when the “tiresome people”
had gone, he soon identified Julia and Lord Paterson. They passed and repassed
down a rose-embowered alley, hidden sometimes behind bushes and then appearing
again for a few paces, and each sight of them, each vanishing of them again
served but to confirm that which already needed no confirmation. And as his
jealousy grew every moment more bitter, so every moment Hugh grew more and more
dangerously enraged. Apparently Lord Paterson was not one of the “tiresome
people” whom Julia longed to get away from.
Presently his two companions
left him, for they were starting now to ride out to Karnak, and Hugh sat on,
smoking and throwing away half consumed an endless series of cigarettes. He had
ordered that his two horses, one with a side-saddle, should be ready at ten,
and at ten he meant to go to the girl and remind her of her engagement. Till
then he would wait here, wait and watch. If the veranda had been on fire, he
felt he could not have left it to seek safety in some place where he was unable
to see the bushy path where the two strolled. Then they emerged from that on to
the broader walk that led straight to where he was sitting, and after a few
whispered words, Lord Paterson left her there, and came quickly towards the
hotel. He passed close by Hugh, gave him (so Hugh thought) a glance of amused
derision, and went into the hotel.
Julia came quickly towards
him when Lord Paterson had gone.
“Oh, Hughie,” she said.
“Will you be a tremendous angel? Lord Paterson—yes, he’s just gone in, such a
dear, you would delight in him—Lord Paterson’s only here for one night, and
he’s dying to see Karnak by moonlight. So will you lend us your horses? He
absolutely insists I should go out there with him.”
The amazing effrontery of
this took Hugh’s breath away, and in that moment’s pause his rage flamed within
him.
“I thought you were going
out with me?” he said.
“I was. But, well, you
see——”
She made the penitent mouth
again, which had seemed so enchanting to him this afternoon.
“Oh, Hughie, don’t you
understand?” she said.
Hugh got up, feeling himself
to be one shaking black jelly of wounded anger.
“I’m not sure if I do,” he
said. “But no doubt I soon shall. Anyhow, I want to ask you something. I want
you to promise to marry me.”
She opened her great
childlike eyes to their widest. Then they closed into mere slits again as she
broke out into a laugh.
“Marry you?” she said. “You
silly, darling fellow! That is a good joke.”
Suddenly from the garden
there sounded the jubilant scamper of running feet, and next moment a great
grey ape sprang on to the veranda beside them, and looked eagerly, with keen
dog’s eyes, at Hugh, as if intent on obeying some yet unspoken command. Julia
gave a little shriek of fright and clung to him.
“Oh, that horrible animal!”
she cried. “Hughie, take care of me!”
Some sudden ray of
illumination came to Hugh. All the extraordinary fantastic things that Rankin
had said to him became sober and real. And simultaneously the girl’s clinging
fingers on his arm became like the touch of some poisonous, preying thing,
snake-coil, or suckers of an octopus, or hooked wings of a vampire bat.
Something within him still shook and trembled like a quicksand, but his
conscious mind was quite clear and collected.
“Go away,” he said to the
ape, and pointed into the garden, and it scampered off, still gleefully
spurning and kicking the soft sandy path. Then he quietly turned to the girl.
“There, it’s gone,” he said.
“It was just some tame thing escaped. I saw it, or one like it, the other day
on the end of a string. As for the horses, I shall be delighted to let you and
Lord Paterson have them. It is ten now; they will be round.”
The girl had quite recovered
from her fright.
“Ah, Hughie, you are a
dear,” she said. “And you do understand?”
“Yes, perfectly,” said he.
Julia went to dress herself
for riding, and presently Hugh saw them off from the gate, with courteous
wishes for a pleasant ride. Then he went back to his bedroom and opened the
little box where he kept his scarabs.
An hour later he was walking
out alone on the road to Karnak, and in his pocket was the image of Tahu-met.
He had formed no clear idea of what he was meaning to do; the immediate reason
for his expedition was that once again he could not bear to lose sight of Julia
and her companion. The moon was high, the feathery outline of palm-groves was
clearly and delicately etched on the dark velvet of the heavens, and stars sat
among their branches like specks of golden fruit. The caressing scent of
bean-flowers was wafted over the road, and often he had to stand aside to let
pass a group of noisy tourists mounted on white donkeys, coming riotously home
from the show-piece of Karnak by moonlight. Then, striking off the road, he
passed beside the horseshoe lake, in the depths of whose black waters the stars
burned unwaveringly, and by the entrance of the ruined temple of Mut. And then,
with a stab of jealousy that screamed for its revenge, he saw, tied up to a
pillar just within, his own horses. So they were here.
He gave the beasts a wide
berth, lest, recognizing him, they should whinny and perhaps betray his
presence, and, creeping in the shadow of the walls behind the row of great
cat-headed statues, he stole into the inner court of the temple. Here for the
first time he caught sight of the two at the far end of the enclosure, and as
they turned, white-faced in the moonlight, he saw Paterson kiss the girl, and
they stood there with neck and arms interlaced. Then they began walking towards
him again, and he stepped into a dark chamber on his right to avoid meeting
them.
It had that strange stale
animal odour about it that hangs in Egyptian temples, and with a thrill of glee
he saw, by a ray of moonlight that streamed in through the door, that by chance
he had stepped into the shrine round which sit the dog-faced apes, whose secret
name he knew, and whose controlling spell lay in his breast-pocket. Often he
had felt the underworld horror that dwelt here, as a thing petrified and
corpse-like; to-night it was petrified no longer, for the images seemed tense
and quivering with the life that at any moment he could put into them. Their
faces leered and hated and lusted, and all that demoniac power, which seemed to
be flowing into him from them, was his to use as he wished. Rankin’s fantastic
tales were bursting with reality; he knew with the certainty with which the
night-watcher waits for the day, that the lordship of the spirit of apes,
incarnate and discarnate, would descend on him as on some anointed king the
moment he thrice pronounced the secret name. He was going to do it too; he knew
also that all he hesitated for now was to determine what orders their lord
should give. It seemed that the image in his breast-pocket was aware, for it
throbbed and vibrated against his chest like a boiling kettle.
He could not make up his
mind what to do; but fed as with fuel by jealousy, and love, and hate, and
revenge, his sense of the magical control he wielded could be resisted no longer,
but boiled over, and he drew from his pocket the image where was engraven the
secret name.
“Tahu-met, Tahu-met,
Tahu-met,” he shouted aloud.
There was a moment’s
absolute stillness; then came a wild scream of fright from his horses, and he
heard them gallop off madly into the night. Slowly, like a lamp turned down and
then finally turned out, the blaze of the moon faded into utter darkness, and
in that darkness, which whispered with a gradually increasing noise of
scratchings and scamperings, he felt that the walls of the narrow chamber where
he stood were, as in a dream, going farther and farther away from him, until,
though still the darkness was impenetrable, he knew that he was standing in
some immense space. One wall, he fancied, was still near him, close behind him,
but the space which was full of he knew not what unseen presences,
extended away and away to both sides of him and in front of him. Then he was
aware that he was not standing, but sitting, for beneath his hands he could
feel the arms as of some throne, of which the seat’s edge pressed him just
below his knees. The animal odour he had noticed before increased enormously in
pungency, and he sniffed it in ecstatically, as if it had been the scent of
beanfields, and mixed with it was the sweetness of incense and the savour as of
roast meat. And at that the withdrawn light began to glow once more, only now
it was not the whiteness of the moon, but a redder glow as of flames that
aspired and sank again.
He saw where he was now. He
was seated on a chair of pink granite, and a little in front of him was a huge
altar, on which limbs smoked. Overhead was a low roof supported at intervals by
painted pillars, and the whole of the vast floor was full of great grey apes,
squatting in dense rows. Sometimes they all bowed their heads to the ground,
sometimes, as by a signal, they raised them again, and myriads of obscene
expectant eyes faced him. They glowed from within, as cats’ eyes glow in the
dusk, but with an infinity of hellish power. All that power was his to command,
and he gloried in it.
“Bring them in,” he said,
and no more. Indeed, he was not sure if he said it; it was just his thought.
But as if he spoke the
soundless language of animals, they understood, and they clambered and
leaped over each other to do his bidding. Then a huddled wave of them surged up
in front of where he sat, and as it broke in foam of evil eyes and paws and
switching tails, it disclosed the two whom he had ordered to be brought before
him.
“And what shall I do with
them?” he asked himself, cudgelling his monkey-brain for some infamous
invention.
“Kiss each other,” he said
at length, in order to inflame the brutality of his jealousy further, and he
laughed chatteringly, as their white trembling lips met. He felt that all
remnants of humanity were draining from him; there was but a little left in his
whole nature that could be deemed to belong to a man. A hundred awful schemes
ran about through his brain, as sparks of fire run through the charred ashes of
burnt paper.
And then Julia turned her
face towards him. In the hideous entry that she had made in that wave of apes
her hair had fallen down and streamed over her shoulders. And at that, the
sight of a woman’s hair unbound, the remnant of his manhood, all that was not
submerged in the foulness of his supreme apehood, made one tremendous appeal to
him, like some final convulsion of the dying, and at the bidding of that
impulse his hands came together and snapped the image in two.
Something screamed; the
whole temple yelled with it, and mixed with it was a roaring in his ears
as of great waters or hurricane winds. He stamped on the broken image, grinding
it to powder below his heel, and felt the ground and the temple walls rocking
round him.
Then he heard someone not
far off speaking in human voice again, and no music could be so sweet.
“Let’s get out of the place,
darling,” it said. “That was an earthquake, and the horses have bolted.”
He heard running steps outside, which gradually grew fainter. The moon shone whitely into the little chamber with the grotesque stone apes, and at his feet was the powdered blue glaze and baked white clay of the image he had ground to dust.
4.“THROUGH”
Richard
Waghorn was
among the cleverest and most popular of professional mediums, and a
never-failing source of consolation to the credulous. That there was fraud,
downright, unadulterated fraud mixed up with his remarkable manifestations it
would be impossible to deny; but it would have been futile not to admit that
these manifestations were not wholly fraudulent. He had to an extraordinary
degree that rare and inexplicable gift of tapping, so to speak, not only the
surface consciousness of those who consulted him, but, in favourable
circumstances, their inner or subliminal selves, so that it frequently happened
that he could speak to an inquirer of something he had completely forgotten,
which subsequent investigation proved to be authentic.
So much was perfectly
genuine, but he gave, as it were, a false frame to it all by the manner in
which he presented these phenomena. He pretended, at his séances, to go into a
trance, during which he was controlled sometimes by the spirit of an ancient
Egyptian priest, who gave news to the inquirer about some dead friend or
relative, sometimes more directly by that dead friend or relative who spoke
through him.
As a matter of fact, Waghorn
would not be in a trance at all, but perfectly conscious, extracting, as
he sat quiescent and with closed eyes, the knowledge, remembered or even
forgotten, that lurked in the mind of his sitter, and bringing it out in the
speech of Mentu, the Egyptian control, or of the lost friend or relative about
whom inquiry was being made. Fraudulent also, as purporting to come from the
intelligence of discarnate spirits, were the pieces of information he gave as
to the conditions under which those who had “passed over” still lived, and it
was here that he chiefly brought consolation to the credulous, for he
represented the dead as happy and busy, and full of spiritual activities. This
information, to speak frankly, he obtained entirely from his own conscious
mind. He made it up, and we cannot really find an excuse for him in the
undoubted fact that he sincerely believed in the general truth of all he said
when he spoke of the survival of individual personality.
Finally, deeply dyed with
fraud, and that in crude, garish colours, were the spirit-rappings, the playing
of musical boxes, the appearance of materialized spirits, the smell of incense
that heralded Cardinal Newman, all that bag of conjuring tricks, in fact, which
disgraces and makes a laughing-stock of the impostors who profess to be able to
bring the seen world into connection with the unseen world. But to do Waghorn
justice, he did not often employ those crude contrivances, for his telepathic
and thought-reading gifts were far more convincing to his sitters. Occasionally,
however, his powers in this line used to fail him, and then, it must be
confessed, he presented his Egyptian control with every trapping and circumstance
of degrading device.
Such was the general scheme
of procedure when Richard Waghorn, with his sister as accomplice in case
mechanical tricks were necessary, undertook to reveal the spirit world to the
material world. They were a pleasant, handsome pair of young people, gifted
with a manner that, if anything, disarmed suspicion too much, and while futile
old gentlemen found it quite agreeable to sit in the dark holding Julia’s firm,
cool hand, similarly constituted old ladies were the recipients of thrilling
emotions when they held Richard’s, the touch of which, they declared, was
strangely electric. There they sat while Richard, breathing deeply and moaning
in his simulated trance, was the mouthpiece of Mentu and told them things
which, but for his indubitable gift of thought-reading, it was impossible for
him to know; or, if the power was not coming through properly, they listened,
hardly less thrilled, to spirit-rappings and musical boxes and unverifiable
information about the conditions of life where the mortal coil hampers no
longer. It was all very interesting and soothing and edifying. And then one day
there occurred an irruption of something wholly unexpected and inexplicable.
Brother and sister were
dining quietly after a busy, but unsatisfactory day when the tinkling summons
came from the telephone, and Richard found that a loud voice, belonging, so it
said, to Mrs. Gardner, wanted to arrange a sitting alone for next day. No
address was given, but he made an appointment for half-past two, and without
much enthusiasm went back to his dinner.
“A stranger,” he said to his
sister, “with no address and no reference or introduction. I hope I shall be in
better form to-morrow. There was nothing but rappings and music to-day. They
are boring, and also they are dangerous, for one may be detected at any time.
And I got an infernal blow on my knuckles from that new electric tapper.”
Julia laughed.
“I know. I heard it,” she
said. “There was quite a wrong noise in one of the taps as we were spelling out
‘silver wing.’”
He lit his cigarette,
frowning at the smoke.
“That’s the worst of my
profession,” he said. “On some days I can get right inside the mind of the
sitter, and, as you know, bring out the most surprising information; but on
other days—to-day, for instance—and there have been many such lately—there’s a
mere blank wall in front of me. I shall lose my position if it happens often;
nobody will pay my fees only to hear spirit-rappings and generalities.”
“They’re better than
nothing,” said Julia.
“Very little. They help to
fill up, but I hate using them. Don’t you remember, when we began investigating,
just you and I alone, how often we seemed on the verge of genuine supernatural
manifestations? They appeared to be just round the corner.”
“Yes; but we never turned
the corner. We never got beyond mere thought-reading.”
He got up.
“I know we didn’t, but there
always seemed a possibility. The door was ajar; it wasn’t locked, and it has
never ceased to be ajar. Often when the mere thought-reading, as you call it,
is flowing along most smoothly, I feel that if only I could abandon my whole
consciousness a little more completely, something, somebody would really take
control of me. I wish it would; and yet I’m frightened of it. It might revenge
itself for all the frauds I’ve perpetrated in its name. Come, let’s play piquet
and forget about it all.”
It was settled that Julia
should be present next day when the stranger came for her sitting, in order
that if Richard’s thought-reading was not coming through any better than it had
done lately, she should help in the rappings and the luminous patches and the
musical box. Mrs. Gardner was punctual to her appointment, a tall, quiet,
well-dressed woman who stated with perfect frankness her object in wishing for
a séance and her views about spirit-communication.
“I should immensely like to
believe in spirit-communication,” she said, “such as I am told you are capable
of producing; but at present I don’t.”
“It is important that the
atmosphere should not be one of hostility,” said Waghorn in his dreamy,
professional manner.
“I bring no hostility,” she
said. “I am in a state, shall we say, of benevolent neutrality, unless”—and she
smiled in a charming manner—“unless benevolent neutrality has come to mean
malevolent hostility. That, I assure you, is not the case with me. I want to
believe.” She paused a moment.
“And may I say this without
offence?” she asked. “May I tell you that spirit-rappings and curious lights
and sounds of music do not interest me in the least?”
They were already seated in
the room where the séance was to be held. The windows were thickly curtained,
there was only a glimmer of light from the red lamp, and even this the spirits
would very likely desire to have extinguished. If this visitor took no interest
in such things, Waghorn felt that he and his sister had wasted their time in
adjusting the electric hammer (made to rap by the pressure of the foot on a
switch concealed in the thick rug underneath the table) behind the
sliding-panel, in stringing across the ceiling the invisible wires on which the
luminous globes ran, and in making ready all the auxiliary paraphernalia in
case the genuine telepathy was not on tap. So with voice dreamier than before and
with slower utterance as he was supposed to be beginning to sink into trance,
he just said:
“I can’t foretell the manner
in which they may choose to make their presence known.”
He gave one loud rap, which
perfectly conveyed the word “No” to his sister, indicating that the conjuring
tricks were not to be used. Subsequently, if really necessary, he could rap
“Yes” to her, and the music and the magic lights would be displayed. Then he
began to breathe quickly and in a snorting manner, to show that the control was
taking possession of him.
“My brother is going into
trance very quickly,” said Julia, and there was dead silence.
Almost immediately a clear
and shining lucidity spread like sunshine, after these days of cloud, over
Waghorn’s brain. Every moment he found himself knowing more and more about this
complete stranger who sat with hand touching his. He felt his sub-conscious
brain, which had lately lain befogged and imperceptive, sun itself under the
brilliant clarity of illumination that had come to it, and in the impressive
bass in which Mentu was wont to give vent to his revelations he said:
“I am here; Mentu is here.”
He felt the table rocking
beneath his hands, which surprised him, since he had exerted no pressure on it,
and he supposed that Julia had not understood his signal, and was beginning the
conjuring tricks. One hand of his was in hers, and by the pressure of his
finger-tips he conveyed to her in code, “Don’t do it.” Instantly she answered
back, “I wasn’t.”
He paid no more heed to
that, though the table continued to oscillate and tip in a very curious manner,
for his mind was steeped in this flood of images that impressed themselves on
his brain.
“What shall Mentu tell you
to-day?” he went on, with pauses between the sentences. “Someone has come to
consult Mentu. It is a lady, I can see her. She wears a locket round her neck,
below her coat, with a piece of black hair under glass between the gold.”
He felt a slight jerk from
Mrs. Gardner’s hand, and in finger-tip code said to Julia, “Ask her.”
Julia whispered across the
table:
“Is that so?”
“Yes,” said Mrs. Gardner,
and Waghorn heard her take her breath quickly. He just remembered that she was
not in mourning; but that made no difference. He knew, not guessing, that Mrs.
Gardner wished to know something from the man or woman on whose head that hair
once grew which was contained in the locket that rested unseen below her
buttoned jacket. Then the next moment he knew also that this was a man’s hair.
Thereafter the flood of sun and precise mental impressions poured over him in
spate of bright waters.
“She wants to know about the
boy whose hair is in the locket. He is not a boy now. He is, according to
earth’s eyes, a grown man. There is a D; I see a D. Not Dick, not David. There
is a Y. It is Denys. Not Saint Denys, not French. English Denys—Denys Bristow.”
He paused a moment, and
heard Mrs. Gardner whisper:
“Yes; that is right.”
Waghorn gave vent to Mentu’s
jovial laugh.
“She says it is right,” he
said. “How should not Mentu be right? Perhaps Mentu is right, too, when he says
that Denys is her brother? Yes; that is Margaret Bristow who sits here, though
not Margaret Bristow now. Margaret——”
Waghorn saw the name quite
clearly, but yet he hesitated. It was not Gardner at all. Then it struck him
for the first time that nothing was more likely than that Mrs. Gardner had
adopted a pseudonym. He went on:
“Margaret Forsyth is Denys’s
sister. Margaret wants to know about Denys. Denys is coming. He will be here in
a moment. He has spoken of his sister before. He did not call her Margaret. He
called her Q—he called her Queenie. Will Queenie speak?”
Waghorn felt the trembling
of her hand; he heard her twice try to speak, but she was unable to control the
trembling in her voice.
“Can Denys speak to me?” she
said in a whisper. “Can he really come here?”
Up to this moment Waghorn
had been enjoying himself immensely, for after the days in which he had been
unable to get into touch with this rare and marvellous gifts of
consciousness-reading, it was blissful to find his mastery again, and, besieged
with the images which Margaret Forsyth’s contact revealed to him, he had been
producing them in Mentu’s impressive voice, revelling in his restored powers.
Her mind lay open to him like a book; he could read where he liked on pages
familiar to her and on pages which had remained long unturned. But at this
moment, as sudden as some qualm of sickness, he was aware of a startling change
in the quality of his perceptions. Fresh knowledge of Denys Bristow came into
his mind, but he felt that it was coming not from her, but from some other
source. Some odd buzzing sang in his ears, as when an anæsthetic begins to take
effect, and opening his eyes, he thought he saw a strange patch of light,
inconsistent with the faint illumination of the red lamp, hovering over his
breast. At the same moment he heard, though dimly, for his head was full of
confused noise, the violent rapping of the electric hammer, and already only
half conscious, felt an impotent irritation with his sister for employing these
tricks. He struggled with the oncoming of the paralysis that was swiftly
invading his mind and his physical being, but he struggled in vain, and
next moment, overwhelmed with the onrush of a huge, enveloping blackness, he
lost consciousness altogether. The trance that he had often simulated had
invaded him, and he knew nothing more.
He came to himself again,
with the feeling that he had been recalled from some vast distance. Still
unable to move, he sat listening to the quick panting of his own breath before
he realized what the noise was. His face, from which the sweat poured in
streams, rested on something cold and hard, and presently, when he opened his
eyes, he saw that his head had fallen forward upon the table. He felt utterly
exhausted and yet somehow strangely satisfied. Some amazing thing had happened.
Then as he recovered himself
he began to remember that he had been reading Mrs. Gardner’s, or Mrs. Forsyth’s
mind when some power external to himself took possession of him, and on his
left he heard Julia’s voice speaking very familiar words.
“He is coming out of his
trance,” she said. “He will be himself again in a moment now.”
With a sense of great
weariness he raised his head, disengaged his hands from those of the two women,
and sank back in his chair.
“Draw back the curtains,” he
said to Julia, “and open the window. I am suffocating.”
She did as he told her, and
he saw the red rays of the sun near to its setting pour into the room,
while the breeze of sunset refreshed the air. On his right still sat Mrs.
Forsyth, wiping her eyes, and smiling at him; and having opened the window,
Julia came back to the table, looking at him with a curious, anxious
intentness.
Then Mrs. Forsyth spoke.
“It has been too
marvellous,” she said. “I cannot thank you enough. I will do exactly as you,
or, rather, Denys, told me about the test; and if it is right, I will certainly
leave my house to-morrow, taking my servants with me. It was so like Denys to
think of them, too.”
To Waghorn this meant
nothing whatever; she might have been speaking Hebrew to him. But Julia, as she
often did, answered for him.
“My brother knows nothing of
what happened in his trance,” she said.
Mrs. Forsyth got up.
“I will go straight home,”
she said. “I feel sure that I shall find just what Denys described. May I
telephone to you about it at once?”
“Yes, pray do,” said Julia.
“We shall be most anxious to hear.”
Richard got up to show her
out, but having regained his feet, he staggered, and collapsed into his chair
again. Mrs. Forsyth would not hear of his attempting to move just yet, and
Julia, having taken her to the door, returned to her brother. It was usual for
him, when the sitting was over, to feign great exhaustion, but the realism of
his acting to-day had almost deceived her into thinking that something not yet
experienced in their séances had occurred. Besides, he had said such strange,
detailed, and extraordinary things. He was still where she had left him, and
there could be no reason, now that they were alone, to keep up this feigned languor.
“Dick,” she said, “what’s
the matter? And what happened? I couldn’t understand you at all. Why did you
say all those things?”
He stirred and sat up.
“I’m better,” he said. “And
it is you who have to tell me what happened. I remember up to a certain point,
and after that I lost consciousness completely. I remember thinking you were
rocking the table, and I told you not to.”
“Yes; but I wasn’t rocking
it. I thought you were.”
“Well, it was neither of us,
then,” said he. “I was vexed because Mrs. Gardner—Mrs. Forsyth had said she
didn’t want that sort of thing, and I was reading her as I never read any one
before. I told her about the locket and the black hair, I got her brother’s
name, I got her name and her nickname Queenie. Then she asked if Denys could
really come, and at that moment something began to take possession of me. I
think I saw a light as usual over my breast, and I think I heard a tremendous
rapping. Did you do either of those, or did they really happen?”
Julia stared at him for a
moment in silence.
“I did neither of those,”
she said; “but they happened. You must have pressed the breast-pocket switch
and trod on the switch of the hammer.”
He opened his coat.
“I had not got the
breast-pocket switch,” he said, “and I certainly did not tread on the
hammer-switch.”
Julia moved her chair a
little closer to him.
“The hammer did not sound
right,” she said. “It was ten times louder than I have ever heard, and the
light was quite different somehow. It was much brighter. I could see everything
in the room quite distinctly. Go on, Dick.”
“I can’t. That’s all I know
until I came to, leaning over the table and bathed in perspiration. Tell me
what happened.”
“Dick, do you swear that is
true?” she asked.
“Certainly I do. Go on.”
“The light grew, and then
faded again to a glimmer,” she said, “and then suddenly you began to talk in a
different voice: it wasn’t Mentu any longer. Mrs. Forsyth recognized it
instantly, and I thought what wonderful luck it was that you should have hit on
a voice that was like her brother’s. Then it and she had a long talk; it must
have lasted half an hour. They reminded each other how Denys had come to live
with her and her husband on their father’s death. He was only eighteen at
the time and still at school. He was killed in a street accident, being run
over by a bicycle two days before her birthday. All this was correct, and I
thought I never heard you mind-reading so clearly and quickly; you hardly
paused at all.”
Julia was silent a moment.
“Dick, don’t you really know
what followed?” she asked.
“Not in the smallest
degree,” he said.
“Well, I thought you had
gone mad,” she said. “Mrs. Forsyth asked for a test, something that was not
known to her, and never had been known to her, and you gave it instantly. You
laughed, Denys laughed, the voice that spoke laughed, and told her to look
behind the row of books beside the bed in the room that was still known as
Denys’s room, and she would find tucked away a little cardboard box with a gold
safety-pin set with a pearl. He had bought it for her birthday present, and had
hidden it there till the day came. He was killed, as I told you, two days
before. And she, half sobbing, half laughing, said, ‘O Denys, how deliciously
secretive you used to be!’”
“And is that what she is
going to telephone about?” asked Waghorn.
“Yes, Dick. What made you
say all that?”
“I don’t know, I tell you. I
didn’t know I said it. And was that all? She said something about leaving
her house to-morrow and taking the servants. What did that mean?”
“You got very much
distressed. You told her she was in danger. You said——” Julia paused again.
“You said there was something coming, fire from the clouds, and a rending. You
said her country house, which I gathered was down somewhere near Epping, would
be burst open by the fire from the clouds to-morrow night. You made her promise
to leave it and take the servants with her. You said her husband was away,
which again is the case. And she asked if you meant Zeppelins, and you said you
did.”
Waghorn suddenly got up.
“‘You
meant,’ ‘you said,’ ‘you did,’” he cried. “What
if it’s ‘he meant,’ ‘he said,’ ‘he did’?”
“It’s impossible,” she said.
“Good Lord! What’s
impossible?” he asked. “What if I really am that which I have so long pretended
to be? What if I am a medium, one who is the mysterious bridge between the
quick and the dead? I’m frightened, but I’m bound to say I’m horribly
interested. All that you tell me I said when I was in trance never came out of
Mrs. Forsyth’s mind. It wasn’t there. She didn’t know about the pearl pin; she
had never known it. Nor had I ever known it. Where did it come from, then? Only
one person knew, the boy who died ten years ago.”
“It yet remains to be seen
whether it is true,” said she. “We shall know in an hour or two, for she is
motoring straight down to her house in the country.”
“And if it turns out to be
true, who was talking?” said he.
The sunset faded into the
dusk of the clear May evening, and the two still sat there waiting for the
telephone to inform them whether the door which, as Waghorn had said, had
seemed so often ajar, and never quite closed, was now thrown open, and light
and intelligence from another world had shone on his unconscious mind.
Presently the tinkling summons came, and with an eager curiosity, below which lurked
that fear of the unknown, the dim, mysterious land into which all human
creatures pass across the closed frontier, he went to hear what news awaited
him.
“Trunk call,” said the
operator, and he listened.
Soon the voice came through.
“Mr. Waghorn?” it said.
“Yes.”
“I have found the box in
exactly the place described. It contained what we had been told it would
contain. I shall leave the house, taking all the servants away, to-morrow.”
Two mornings later the
papers contained news of a Zeppelin raid during the night on certain Eastern counties.
The details given were vague and meagre, and no names of towns or villages
where bombs had been dropped were vouchsafed to the public. But later in the
day private information came to Waghorn that Forsyth Hall, near Epping, had
been completely wrecked. No lives, luckily, were lost, for the house was empty.
CAT STORIES
1.“PUSS-CAT”
It was during the month
of May some nine years ago that the beginning of the events that concerned
Puss-cat took place. I was living at the time on the green outskirts of a
country town, and my dining-room at the back of the house opened on to a small
garden framed in brick walls some five feet high. Breakfasting there one
morning, I saw a large black and white cat, with a sharp but serious face,
observing me with studied attention. Now at the time there was an interregnum,
and my house was without a mistress (in the shape of a cat), and it at once
struck me that I was being interviewed by this big and pleasing stranger, to
see if I would do. So, since there is nothing that a prospective mistress likes
less than premature familiarity on the part of the householder whom she may be
thinking of engaging, I took no direct notice of the cat, but continued to eat
my breakfast carefully and tidily. After a short inspection, the cat quietly
withdrew without once looking back, and I supposed that I was dismissed, or
that she had decided, after all, to keep on her present household.
In that I proved to be
mistaken: she had only gone away to think about it, and next morning, and for
several mornings after that, I was subjected to the same embarrassing but not
unfriendly scrutiny, after which she took a stroll round the garden to see if
there were any flower-beds that would do to make ambushes in, and a convenient
tree or two to climb should emergencies arise. On the fourth day, as far as I
remember, I committed an error, and half-way through breakfast went out into
the garden, to attempt to get on more familiar terms. The cat regarded me for a
few moments with pained surprise, and went away; but after I had gone in again,
she decided to overlook it, for she returned to her former place, and continued
to observe. Next morning she made up her mind, jumped down from the wall, trotted
across the grass, entered the dining-room, and, arranging herself in a great
hurry round one hind-leg, which she put up in the air like a flagstaff,
proceeded to make her morning toilet. That, as I knew quite well, meant that
she thought I would give satisfaction, and I was therefore permitted to enter
upon my duties at once. So I put down a saucer of milk for her, which she very
obligingly disposed of. Then she went and sat by the door, and said “A-a-a-a,”
to show that she wished the door to be opened for her, so that she might
inspect the rest of the house. So I called down the kitchen stairs, “There is
come a cat, who I think means to stop. Don’t fuss her.” In this manner the real
Puss-cat—though I did not know that—entered the house.
Now here I must make a short
defence for my share in these things. I might, by a hasty judgment, be
considered to have stolen her who soon became Puss-cat’s mamma, but anyone who
has any real knowledge of cats will be aware that I did nothing of the kind.
Puss-cat’s mamma was clearly dissatisfied with her last household and had,
without the least doubt, made up her mind to leave them all and take on a fresh
lot of servants; and if a cat makes up her mind about anything, no power on
earth except death, or permanent confinement in a room where neither doors nor
windows are ever opened, will stop her taking the contemplated step. If her
last (unknown) household killed her, or permanently shut her up, of course, she
could not engage fresh people, but short of that they were powerless to keep
her. You may cajole or bully a dog into doing what you want, but no manner of
persuasion will cause a cat to deviate one hair’s breadth from the course she
means to pursue. If I had driven her away she would have gone to another house,
but never back to her own. For though we may own dogs and horses and other
animals, it is a great mistake to think that we own cats. Cats employ us, and
if we give satisfaction they may go so far as to adopt us. Besides, Puss-cat’s
mamma did not, as it turned out, mean to stay with me altogether: she only
wanted quiet lodgings for a time.
So our new mistress went
discreetly downstairs and inspected kitchen, scullery, and pantry. She
spent some time in the scullery, so I was told, and felt rather doubtful. But
she quite liked the new gas-stove in the kitchen, and singed her tail at it, as
nobody had told her that lunch was a-cooking. Also she found a mouse-hole below
the wainscoting, which appeared to decide her (for, as we soon found out, she
liked work), and she trotted upstairs again and sat outside the drawing-room
door till somebody opened it for her. I happened to be inside, with Jill, a
young lady of the fox-terrier breed, and, of course, did not know that
Puss-cat’s mamma was waiting. Eventually I came out and saw her sitting there.
Jill saw her, too, and eagerly ran up to her only to talk, not to fight, for
Jill likes cats. But Puss-cat’s mamma did not know that, so, just in case, she
slapped Jill smartly first on one side the head, and then on the other. She was
not angry, but only firm and strong, and wished that from the first there
should be no doubt whatever about her position. Having done that, she allowed
Jill to explain, which Jill did with twitchings of her stumpy tail and attitude
provocative of gambols. And before many minutes were up, Puss-cat’s mamma was
kind enough to play with her. Then she suddenly remembered that she had not
seen the rest of the house, and went upstairs, where she remained till
lunch-time.
It was the manner in which
she spent the first morning that gave me the key to the character of Puss-cat’s
mamma, and we at once settled that her name had always been Martha. She had
annexed our house, it is true, but in no grabbing or belligerent spirit, but
simply because she had seen from her post on the garden wall that we wanted
somebody to look after us and manage the house, and she could not help knowing
how wonderful she was in all things connected with a mistress’s duties. Every
morning when the housemaid’s step was heard on the stairs during breakfast (she
had a very audible step), Martha, even in the middle of fish or milk, ran to
the door, said “A-a-a-a” till it was opened, and rushed after her, sitting in
each bedroom in turn to see that the slops were properly emptied and the beds
well and truly made. In the middle of such supervision sometimes came other
calls upon her, the front-door bell would ring, and Martha had to hurry down to
see that the door was nicely opened. Then perhaps she would catch sight of
somebody digging in the garden, and she was forced to go out in this busiest
time of the morning, to dab at the turned-up earth, in order to be sure that it
was fresh. In particular, I remember the day on which the dining-room was
repapered. She had to climb the step-ladder to ascertain if it was safe, and
sit on the top to clean herself. Then each roll of paper had to be judged by
the smell, and the paste to be touched with the end of a pink tongue. That made
her sneeze (which must be the right test for paste), and she allowed it to
be used. That day we lunched in the drawing-room, and it is easy to imagine how
busy Martha was, for the proceeding was very irregular, and she could not tell
how it would turn out. Meal-times were always busy: she had to walk in front of
every dish as it was brought in, and precede it as it was taken out, and to-day
these duties were complicated by the necessity of going back constantly to the
real dining-room to see that the paper-hangers were not idling. To make the
rush more overpowering, Jill was in the garden wanting to play (and to play
with Jill was one of Martha’s duties) and some young hollyhocks were being put
in, certain of which, for inscrutable reasons, had to be dug up again with
strong backward kicks of the hind-legs.
She had settled that there
was but one cat, which was, of course, herself. Occasionally alien heads looked
over the wall, and the cries of strangers sounded. Whenever that happened,
whatever the stress of housework might be, Martha bounded from house into
garden to expel and, if possible, kill the intruder. Once from my bedroom
window I saw a terrific affair. Martha had been sitting as good as gold among
hair-brushes and nail-scissors, showing me how to shave, when something feline
moving in the garden caught her eye. Not waiting for the door to be opened, she
made one leap of it out of the window into the apple-tree, and whirled down the
trunk, even as lightning strikes and rips its way to the ground, and next
moment I saw her, with paw uplifted, tearing tufts of fur from the next-door
tabby. She was like one of those amazing Chinese grotesques, half-cat,
half-demon, and wholly warrior. Shrill cries rent the peaceful morning air, and
Martha, intoxicated with vengeance, allowed the mishandled tabby to escape.
Then with awesome face and Bacchanalian eye she ate the tufts of bloodstained
fur, rolling them on her tongue and swallowing them with obvious difficulty, as
if performing some terrible, antique and cannibalistic rite. And all this from
a lady who was so shortly to be confined. But it was no use trying to keep
Martha quiet.
A second minute inspection
of her house was necessary before she decided which should be the
birth-chamber. She spent a long time in the wood-shed that morning, and we
hoped that it was going to be there; she spent a long time in the bath-room,
and we hoped it wasn’t. Eventually she settled on the pantry, and when she had
quite made up her mind we made her comfortable. Next morning three dappled
little blind things were there. She ate one, for no reason, as far as we could
judge, but that she was afraid that Jill wanted to. So, as it was her kitten,
not Jill’s, she ate it.
With all respect for Martha,
I think that here she had mistaken her vocation. She should never have gone in
for being a mother. The second kitten she lay down upon with fatal results.
Then, being thoroughly disgusted with maternity, she went away and never was
seen any more. She deserted the only child she had not killed; she deserted us
who had tried so hard to give satisfaction; and in the basket there was left,
still blind, still uncertain whether it was worth while to live at all,
Puss-cat.
Puss-cat was her mother’s
own child from the first, though with much added. She wasted no time or
strength in bewailing her orphaned condition, but took amazing quantities of
milk administered on a feather. Her eyes opened, as eyes should do, on the
seventh day, and she smiled at us all, and spat at Jill. So Jill licked her
nose with anxious care, and said quite distinctly, “When you are a little
older, I will be always ready to do whatever you like.” Jill says the same sort
of thing to everybody except the dustman.
Soon after, Puss-cat arose
from her birth-bed and staggered across the pantry. Even this first expedition
on her own feet was not made without purpose, for in spite of frequent falls
she went straight up to a blind-tassel, and after looking at it for a long
time, tested it with a tiny paw to make sure of it, thus showing, while
scarcely out of the cradle, that serious purpose which marked her throughout
her dear life. Her motto was, “Do your work,” and since she remained unmarried
in spite of many very eligible offers, I think that her unnatural mother must
have impressed upon her, in those few days before she deserted her, that
the first duty of a cat is to look after the house, and that she herself didn’t
think much of maternity. Puss-cat inherited also, I suppose, her fixed
conviction that she ought to have been, even if she was not, the only cat in
the world, and she would allow no one of her own race within eyeshot of house
or garden. Some of her duties, though they were always conscientiously
performed, I think rather bored her, but certainly she brought to the expulsion
of cats an exquisite sense of enjoyment. On the appearance of any one of her
own nation she would go hastily into ambush with twitching tail and jerking
shoulder-blades, teasing and torturing herself with the postponement of that
rapturous stealthy advance across the grass, if the quarry was looking the
other way, or the furious hurling of herself through the air, if a frontal
attack had to be delivered. And I often wondered that she did not betray her
ambush by the rapture and sonorousness of her purring, as the supreme moment
approached.
Jill, I am afraid, gave her
a lot of worry over this duty of the expulsion of aliens, for Jill would sooner
play with an alien than expel it, and her plan was to gambol up to the intruder
with misplaced welcome. It is true that the effect was just the same, because a
trespassing cat, seeing an alert fox-terrier rapidly approaching, seldom, if
ever, stops to play, so that Jill’s method was really quite effective, too. But
Puss-cat had high moral purpose behind her: she wanted not only to expel, but
to appal and injure, and like many moralists of our own species, she enjoyed
her fulminations and onslaughts quite tremendously. She liked punishing other
cats, because she was right and they were wrong, and vigorous kicks and bites
would help them perhaps to understand that.
But though Puss-cat
resembled her mother in the matter of the high sense of duty and moral
qualities, she had what Martha lacked: that indefinable attraction which we
call charm, and a great heart. She was always pleased and affectionate, and
went about her duties with as near an approach to a smile as is possible for
the gravest species of animal. Martha, for instance, played with Jill as a part
of her duty, Puss-cat made a pleasure out of it and played with the ecstatic
abandon of a child. Indeed, I have known her put dinner a quarter of an hour
later, because she was in the lovely jungle of long grass at the end of the
garden, and was preparing to give Jill an awful fright. This business of the
jungle deserves mention, not because it was so remarkable in itself, but
because it was so wonderful to Puss-cat.
The jungle in question was a
space of some dozen yards, where in spring daffodils grew in clumps of sunshine
and fritillaries hung their speckled bells. There were pæonies also planted in
the grass, and a briar-rose, and an apple-tree; nothing, as I have said, was
remarkable in itself, but it was fraught with amazing possibilities to the keen
imagination of Puss-cat. At the bottom of this strip of untamed jungle the lawn
began, and it was one of Puss-cat’s plans to hide at the edge of the jungle,
flattening herself out till she looked like a shadow of something else. If luck
served her, Jill, sooner or later in the pursuit of interesting smells, would
pass close to the edge of the jungle without seeing her. The moment Jill had
gone by, Puss-cat would stretch out a discreet paw, and just touch Jill on the
hind-quarters. Jill, of course, had to turn round to see what this inexplicable
thing meant, and on the moment Puss-cat would fling herself into the air and
descend tiger-like on Jill’s back. That was the beginning of the game, and it
contained more vicissitudes than a round of golf. There were ambushes and
scurryings innumerable, assaults from the apple-tree, repulsions from behind the
garden roller, periods of absolute quiescence, suddenly and wildly broken by
swift flanking movements through the sweet-peas, and at the end a failure of
wind and limb, and Jill would lie panting on the bank, and Puss-cat, having put
off dinner, proceed to clean herself for her evening duties. She had to be
smart at dinner-time, whether we were dining alone, or whether there was a
dinner-party, for she was never a tea-gown cat, and she dressed for her dinner,
even if we were dining out. She was not responsible for that; what she was
responsible for was to be tidy herself.
Puss-cat, without doubt, was
a plain kitten; but again, like many children of our own inferior race, she
grew up to be a very handsome cat. With great chic she did not attempt colours,
but was pure black and white. Across her broad, strong back there was a black
saddle, but the saddle, so to speak, had slewed round and made a black band
across her left side. There was an arbitrary patch of black, too, on her left
cheek, a black band on her tail, and a black tip to it. Otherwise she was pure
white, except when she put out a pink tongue below her long, snowy whiskers.
But her charm—the outstanding feature of Puss-cat—was independent of this
fascinating colouring. Martha, for instance, had been content that dishes were
carried into the dining-room, and subsequently carried out. That and no more
was her notion of her duties towards dinner. But Puss-cat really began where
Martha ended. Like her, she preceded the soup, but when those who were present
had received their share, she always went round with loud purrings to each
guest, to congratulate them and hope that they liked it. For this process,
which was repeated with every dish, she had a particular walk, stepping high
and treading on the tips of her toes. This congratulatory march was purely
altruistic: she did not want soup herself; she was only glad that other people
had got it. Then when fish came, or bird, she would make her
congratulatory tour just the same, and then sit firmly down and say she would
like some too. Occasionally she favoured some particular guest with marked
regard, and sometimes almost forgot her duties as mistress of the house,
choosing rather to sit by her protégée and purr loudly, so
that a dish would already be half-eaten before she went her round to see that
everyone was pleased with his portion. Finally, when coffee was brought, she
went downstairs to the kitchen and retired for the night, usually sharing
Jill’s basket, where they lay together in a soft slow-breathing heap of black
and white.
Puss-cat, like the ancient
Greeks, was never sick or sorry; never sick, because of her robust and stalwart
health; never sorry, because she never did anything to be sorry for. From
living with Jill, and never seeing a cat, except for those short and painful
interviews which preceded expulsion from the garden, she grew to have something
of the selfless affection of a dog, and when I came home after an absence she
would run out into the street to meet me, stiff-tailed, and really not
attending to the debarkation of luggage, but intent only on welcoming me home.
Eight busy, happy years passed thus, and then one bitter February morning,
Pussy-cat disappeared.
The weeks went on, and still
there came no sign of her, and when winter had passed into May I gave up
all hopes of her return, and got a fresh cat, this time a young blue Persian
with topaz-coloured eyes. Another month went by, and Agag (so-called from his
delicate walk) had established himself in our affections, on account of his
extraordinary beauty, rather than from any charm of character, when the second
act of the tragedy opened.
I was sitting at breakfast
one morning, with the door into the garden thrown wide, and Agag was curled up
on a chair in the window (for, unlike Puss-cat and Martha, he did no housework
at all, being of proud and aristocratic descent), when I saw coming slowly
across the lawn a cat that I scarcely recognized. It was lean to the point of
emaciation, its fur was disordered and dirty, but it was Puss-cat come home
again. Then suddenly she saw me, and with a little cry of joy ran towards the
open door. Then she saw Agag, and, weak and thin as she was, she woke at once
to her old sense of duty, and bounded on to his chair. Never before in her time
had a cat got right into the house, and such a thing, she felt determined,
should not occur again. Round the room and out into the garden raged the battle
before I could separate them—Puss-cat inspired by her sense of duty, Agag angry
and astonished at this assault of a mere gutter-cat in his own house. At last I
got hold of Puss-cat and took her up in my arms, while Agag cursed and swore in
justifiable indignation. For how could he tell that this was Puss-cat?
They never fought again, but
it was a miserable fortnight that followed, and all the misery was poor
Puss-cat’s. Agag, in spite of his beauty, had no heart, and did not mind how
many cats I kept, so long as they did not molest him, or usurp his food or his
cushion. But Puss-cat, though she understood that for some inscrutable reason
she had to share her house with Agag, and not fight him, was a creature of
strong affections, and her poor little soul was torn with agonies of jealousy.
Jill, it is true, who was always treated with contemptuous unconsciousness by
Agag, was certainly pleased to see her friend again, and had not forgotten her;
but Puss-cat wanted so much more than Jill could give her. She took on her old
duties at once, but often when she escorted the fish into the dining-room and found
Agag asleep on his chair, she would be literally unable to go through with
them, and would sit in a corner by herself, looking miserably and
uncomprehendingly at me. Then perhaps the smell of fish would wake up Agag, and
he would stretch himself and stand for a moment with superbly-arched back on
his chair, before he jumped down, and with loud purrings rubbed himself against
the legs of my chair to betoken his desire for food, or even would jump up on
to my knees. That was the worst of all for Puss-cat, and she would often sit
all dinner through in her remote corner, refusing food, and unable to take
her eyes off the object of her jealousy. While Agag was present, no amount of
caresses or attentions offered to her would console her, so that, when Agag had
eaten, we usually turned him out of the room. Then for a little while Puss-cat
had respite from her Promethean vulture; she would go her rounds again to see
that everybody was pleased, and escort fresh dishes in with high-stepping walk
and erect tail.
We hoped, foolishly perhaps,
that in course of time the two would become friends; else, I think, I should
have at once tried to find another home for Agag. But indeed, short of that, we
did all we could do, lavishing attentions on dear Puss-cat, and trying to make
her feel (which indeed was true) that we all loved her, and only liked and
admired Agag. But while we still hoped, Puss-cat had had more than she could
bear, and once again she disappeared. Jill missed her for a little while, Agag
not at all. But the rest of us miss her still.
2.THERE AROSE A KING
Agag, though of undoubtedly
royal blood, was never a real king. He was no more than one of the Hyksos, a
shepherd-king, bound by the limitations of his race, and no partaker in its
magnificence. Naturally, he did not work as the late housekeeper had done (and
no one expected that of him), but he had neither the splendour nor the
vivacity, possessed, let us say, by Henry VIII. or George IV., to make up for
his indolence in affairs of state. Henry VIII., anyhow, busied himself in
marriages, whereas Agag was merely terrified at the idea of wooing, not to say
winning, any of the princesses that were brought to his notice; and they, on
their part, only made the rudest faces at him. Again George IV., though
unkingly in many respects, used to plunge about in the wild pursuit of
pleasure, and was supposed to have a kind heart. Agag, on the contrary, never
plunged: a cushion and some fish and plenty of repose were the sum of his
desires, and as for a kind heart, he never had a heart at all. An unkind heart
would have given him some semblance of personality, but there was not the
faintest room to suppose that any emotion, other than the desire for food and
sleep and warmth, came within measurable distance of him. He died in his
sleep, probably of apoplexy, after a large meal, and beautiful in death as in
life, was buried and forgotten. I have never known a cat so completely devoid
of character, and I sometimes wonder whether he was a real cat at all, and not
some sort of inflated dormouse in cat’s clothing.
There followed a republican
régime in this matter of cats. We went back, after Agag, to working cats, who
would sit at mouse-holes for hours together, pounce and devour, and clean
themselves and sleep, but among them all there was no “character” which ever so
faintly resembled even Martha, far less Puss-cat.
I suppose the royalty of
Agag, stupid and dull though he was, had infected me with a certain
snobbishness as regards cats, and secretly—given that there were to be no more
of those splendid plebeians, like Puss-cat—I longed for somebody who combined
royal descent (for the sake of beauty and pride) with character, good or bad.
Nero or Heliogabalus or Queen Elizabeth, or even the Emperor William II. of Germany
would have done, but I didn’t want George I. on the one side or a mere mild
President of a small republic on the other.
Just after Agag’s death I
had moved up to London, and for a time there was this succession of
unnoticeable heads of the state. They were born—those presidents of my
republic—from respectable hard-working families, and never gave themselves out
(though they knew quite well that they were the heads of the state) to be
anything else but what they were: good, hard-working cats, with, of course, not
only a casting, but a determining vote on all questions that concerned them or
anybody else.
We were democratic in those
days, and I am afraid “freedom broadened slowly down” from president to
president. We were loyal, law-abiding citizens under their rule, but when our
president was sitting at the top of the area steps, taking the air after his
morning’s work, it used to be no shock to me to see him tickled on the top of
his head by people like tradesmen coming for orders, or a policeman or a
nursery-maid. The president, in these circumstances, would arch a back, make
poker of a tail, and purr. Being at leisure and unoccupied with cares of State,
he did not pretend to be anything but bourgeois. The bourgeoisie had
access to him; he would play with them, without any sense of inequality,
through the area railings. There was a nursery-maid, I remember, whom our last
president was very much attached to. He used to make the most terrific
onslaughts at her shoelaces.
But now all that régime is
past. We are royalist again to the core, and Cyrus, of undoubtedly royal
descent, is on the throne. The revolution was accomplished in the most pacific
manner conceivable. A friend, on my birthday, two years ago, brought a
small wicker basket, and the moment it was opened the country, which for a
month or two had been in a state of darkest anarchy, without president or any
ruler, was a civilized state again, with an acknowledged king. There was no
war; nothing sanguinary occurred. Only by virtue of the glory of our king we
became a great Power again. Cyrus had arranged that his pedigree should come
with him; this was much bigger than Cyrus, and, being written on parchment
(with a large gold crown painted at the head of it), was far more robust than
he whose ancestors it enumerated. For his majesty, as he peered over the side
of the royal cradle, did not seem robust at all. He put two little weak paws on
the edge of his basket and tried to look like a lion, but he had no spirit to
get farther. Then he wrinkled up his august face, and gave a sneeze so
prodigious that he tumbled out of the basket altogether, and by accident (or at
the most by catarrh) set foot in the dominions where he still reigns. Of
course, I was not quite so stupid as not to recognize a royal landing, though
made in so unconventional a manner; it was only as if George IV., in one of his
numerous landings on some pier (so fitly commemorated by the insertion of a
large brass boot print), had fallen flat on his face instead, and was commemorated
by a full-length brass, with top-hat a little separate.
Babies of the human species,
it is true, are all like each other, and I would defy any professor of Eugenics
or of allied and abstruse schools of investigation to say, off-hand, whether a
particular baby, divorced from his surroundings, is the Prince of Wales or
Master Jones. But, quite apart from his pedigree, there was never any question
at all about Cyrus. There was no single hair on his lean little body that was
not of the true and royal blue, and his ears already were tufted inside with
downy growth, and his poor little eyes, sadly screened by the moisture of his
catarrh, showed their yellow topaz irises, that were never seen on Master
Jones. So he tumbled upside down into his new kingdom, and, recovering himself,
sat up and blinked, and said, “Ah-h-h.” I took him up very reverently in both
hands, and put him on my knee. He made an awful face, like a Chinese grotesque
instead of a Persian king, but anyhow it was an Oriental face. Then he put a
large paw in front of his diminutive nose and went fast asleep. It had been a
most fatiguing sneeze.
Royal Persian babies, as you
perhaps know, must never, after they have said good-bye to their royal mammas,
be given milk. When they are thirsty they must have water; when they are hungry
they have little finely chopped-up dishes of flesh and fish and fowl. As Cyrus
slept, little chopped-up things were hastily prepared for him, and when he
woke, his food and drink were waiting his royal pleasure. They seemed to
please him a good deal, but at a crucial moment, when his mouth was quite full,
he sneezed again. There was an explosion of awful violence, but the Royal baby
licked up the fragments.... We knew at once that we had a tidy king to rule
over us.
Cyrus was two months old
when he became king, and the next four months were spent in growing and eating
and sneezing. His general manner of life was to eat largely and instantly fall
asleep, and it was then, I think, that he grew. Eventually a sneeze plucked him
from his slumber, and this first alarum was a storm-cone, so to speak, that
betokened the coming tornado. Once, after I began to count, he sneezed
seventeen times.... Then, when that was over, he sat quiet and recuperated;
then he jumped straight up in the air, purred loudly, and ate again. The meal
was succeeded by more slumber, and the cycle of his day was complete.
His first refreshment he
took about seven in the morning—as soon as anybody was dressed—and an hour
later, heavily slumbering, he was brought up to my room when I was called,
buttoned up in my servant’s coat, and placed on my bed. He at once guessed that
there must be a pleasant warm cave underneath the bedclothes, and, with
stampings and purrings, penetrated into this abyss, curled himself against my
side, and resumed his interrupted slumbers. After a while I would feel an
internal stirring begin in my bed, and usually managed to deposit the king on
the floor before his first sneeze. His second breakfast, of course, had come
upstairs with my hot water, and after the sneezing was over he leaped into the
air, espied and stalked some new and unfamiliar object, and did his duty with
his victuals. He then looked round for a convenient resting-place, choosing
one, if possible, that resembled an ambush, the definition of which may be held
to be a place with a small opening and spaciousness within.
That gave us the second clue
(tidiness being the first) towards the king’s character. He had a tactical
mind, and should make a good general. As soon as I observed this, I used to
make an ambush for him among the sheets of the morning paper, providing it with
a small spy-hole. If I scratched the paper in the vicinity of the spy-hole, a
little silver-blue paw made wild dabs at the seat of the disturbance. Having
thus frustrated any possible enemy, he went to sleep.
But the ambush he liked best
was a half-opened drawer, such as he found one morning for himself. There among
flannel shirts and vests he made himself exceedingly comfortable, pending
attacks. But before he went to sleep he made a point of putting out a small and
awe-inspiring head to terrify any marauding bands who might be near. This
precaution was usually successful, and he slept for the greater part of the
morning.
For six months he stuffed
and sneezed and slept, and then, one morning, like Lord Byron and the discovery
of his fame, Cyrus woke and discovered the responsibilities of kingship. His
sneezing fits suddenly ceased, and the Cyropaidaia (or education of Cyrus)
began. He conducted his own education, of course, entirely by himself; he knew,
by heredity, what a king had to learn, and proceeded to learn it. Hitherto the
pantry and my bedroom were the only territories of his dominion that he had any
acquaintance with, and a royal progress was necessary. The dining-room did not
long detain him, and presented few points of interest, but in a small room
adjoining he found on the table a telephone with a long green cord attached to
the receiver. This had to be investigated, since his parents had not told him
about telephones, but he soon grasped the principle of it, and attempted to get
the ear-piece off its hook, no doubt with a view to issuing orders of some
kind. It would not yield to gentle methods, and, after crouching behind a book and
wriggling his body a great deal, he determined to rush the silly thing. A wild
leap in the air, and Cyrus and the green cord and the receiver were all mingled
up together in hopeless confusion.... He did not telephone again for weeks.
The drawing-room was less
dangerous. There was a bearskin on the floor, and Cyrus sat down in front of
the head, prepared to receive homage. This, I suppose, was duly tendered,
because he tapped it on the nose (as the King entering the City of London
touches the sword presented by the Lord Mayor), and passed on to the piano. He
did not care about the keyboard, but liked the pedals, and also caught sight of
a reflection of himself in the black shining front of it.
This was rather a shock, and
entailed a few swift fandango-like steps with fore-paws waving wildly in the
air. Horror! The silent image opposite did exactly the same thing; ... it was
nearly as bad as the telephone. But the piano stood at an angle to the wall,
offering a suitable ambush, and he scampered behind it. And there he found the
great ambush of all, for the back cloth of the piano was torn, and he could get
completely inside it. Tactically, it was a perfect ambush, for it commanded the
only route into the room from the door; but his delight in it was such that
whenever he was ambushed there, he could not resist putting his head out and
glaring, if anybody came near, thus giving the secret completely away. Or was
it only indulgence towards our weak intellects, that were so incapable of
imagining that there was a king inside the piano?
The exploration of the
kitchen followed; the only point of interest was a fox-terrier at whom the king spat;
but in the scullery there was a very extraordinary affair—namely, a brass tap,
conveniently placed over a sink, half-covered with a board. On the nozzle of
this tap an occasional drop of water appeared, which at intervals fell off.
Cyrus could not see what happened to it, but when next the drop gathered he put
his paw to it and licked it off. After doing this for nearly an hour he came to
the conclusion that it was the same water as he drank after his meals. The
supply seemed constant, though exiguous; ... it might have to be seen to. After
that he just looked in at the linen cupboard, and the door blew to while he was
inside. He was not discovered till six hours later, and was inclined to be
stiff about it.
Next day the Royal progress
continued, and Cyrus discovered the garden (forty feet by twenty, but large
enough for Mr. Lloyd George to have his eye on it, and demand a valuation of
the mineral rights therein). But it was not large enough for Cyrus (I don’t
know what he expected), for after looking at it closely for a morning, he
decided that he could run up the brick walls that bounded it. This was an
infringement of his prerogative, for the king is bound to give notice to his
ministers, when he proposes to quit the country, and Cyrus had said nothing
about it. Consequently I ran out and pulled him quietly but firmly back by the
tail, which was the only part of him that I could reach. He signified his
disapproval in what is called “the usual manner,” and tried to bite me.
Upon which I revolted and drove the king indoors, and bought some rabbit wire.
This I fastened down along the top of the wall, so that it projected
horizontally inwards. Then I let the king out again and sat down on the steps
to see what would happen.
Cyrus pretended that the
walls were of no interest to him, and stalked a few dead leaves. But even a
king is bounded, not only by rabbit wire, but by the limitations of cat-nature,
which compelled him to attempt again what he has been thwarted over. So, after
massacring a few leaves (already dead), he sprang up the wall, and naturally
hit his nose against the rabbit wire, and was cast back from the frontier into
his own dominions. Once again he tried and failed, appealed to an obdurate
prime minister, and then sat down and devoted the whole power of his tactical
mind to solving this baffling affair. And three days afterwards I saw him again
run up the wall, and instead of hitting his nose against the rabbit wire, he
clung to it with his claws. It bent with his weight, and he got one claw on the
upper side of it, then the other, wriggled round it, and stood triumphant with
switching tail on the frontier.
So in turn I had to sit and
think; but, short of building up the whole garden wall to an unscalable height,
or erecting a chevaux de frise on the top of it, I had a
barren brain. After all, foreign travel is an ineradicable instinct in
cat-nature, and I infinitely preferred that the king should travel among small
back-gardens than out of the area gate into the street. Perhaps, if he had full
licence (especially since I could not prevent him) to explore the hinter-lands,
he might leave the more dangerous coast alone.... And then I thought of a plan,
which perhaps might recall my Reise-Kaiser, when on his travels. This I
instantly proceeded to test.
Now I had been told by my
Cabinet that the one noise which would pluck the king out of his deepest slumber,
and would bring him bouncing and ecstatic to the place where this sound came
from, was the use of the knife-sharpener. This, it appeared, was the earliest
piece of household ritual performed in the morning, when Cyrus was hungriest,
and the sound of the knife-sharpener implied to him imminent food. I borrowed
the knife-sharpener and ran out into the garden. Cyrus was already four garden
walls away, and paid not the slightest attention to my calling him. So I
vigorously began stropping the knife. The effect was instantaneous; he turned
and fled along the walls that separated him from that beloved and welcome
noise. He jumped down into his own dominion with erect and bushy tail ... and I
gave him three little oily fragments of sardine-skin. And up till now, at any
rate, that metallic chirruping of the sharpened knife has never failed. Often I
have seen him a mere speck on some horizon roof, but there appears to be
no incident or interest in the whole range of foreign travel that can compete
with this herald of food.
On the other hand, too, if
Cyrus is not quite well (this very seldom happens), though he does not care for
food, he does not, either, feel up to foreign travel, and, therefore, the
knife-sharpener may repose in its drawer. Indeed, there are advantages in
having a greedy king that I had never suspected....
As the months went on and
Cyrus grew larger and longer-haired, he gradually, as befitted a king who had
come to rule over men, renounced all connexion with other animals, especially
cats. He used to lie perdu in a large flower-pot which he had
overturned (ejecting the hydrangea with scuffles of backward-kicking hind
legs), and watch for the appearance of his discarded race. If so much as an ear
or a tail appeared on the frontier walls, he hurled himself, his face a mask of
fury, at the intruder. The same ambush, I am sorry to say, served him as a butt
for the destruction of sparrows. He did not kill them, but brought them indoors
to the kitchen, and presented them, as a token of his prowess as a hunter, to
the cook. Dogs, similarly, were not allowed, when he sat at the area gate. Once
I saw, returning home from a few doors off, a brisk Irish terrier gambol down
my area steps (Cyrus’s area steps, I mean), and quickened my pace, fearing
for Cyrus, if he happened to be sitting there. He was sitting there, but I need
not have been afraid, for before I had reached the house a prolonged and dismal
yell rent the air, and an astonished Irish terrier shot up, as from a gun,
through the area gate again with a wild and hunted expression. When I got there
I found Cyrus seated on the top step calm and firm, delicately licking the end
of his silvery paw.
Once only, as far as I
remember, was Cyrus ever routed by anything with four legs, but that was not a
question of lack of physical courage, but a collapse of nerves in the presence
of a sort of hobgoblin, something altogether uncanny and elfin. For a visitor
had brought inside her muff an atrocious little griffon, and Cyrus had leaped
on to this lady’s knee and rather liked the muff. Then, from inside it, within
an inch or two of Cyrus’s face, there looked out a half-fledged little head, of
a new and nerve-shattering type. Cyrus stared for one moment at this dreadful
apparition, and then bolted inside the piano-ambush. The griffon thought this
was the first manœuvre in a game of play, so jumped down and sniffed round the
entrance to the ambush. Panic-stricken scufflings and movements came from
within.... Then a diabolical thought struck me: Cyrus had never yet been in his
ambush when the piano was played, and the griffon being stowed back again in the
muff, for fear of accidents, I went very softly to the keys and played one loud
chord. As the Irish terrier came out of the area gate, so came Cyrus out of his
violated sanctuary....
Cyrus was now just a year
old; his kitten-coat had been altogether discarded; he already weighed eleven
pounds, and he was clad from nose to tail-tip in his complete royal robes. His
head was small, and looked even smaller framed in the magnificent ruff that
curled outwards from below his chin. In colour he was like a smoky shadow, with
two great topaz lights gleaming in the van; the tips of his paws were silvery,
as if wood-ash smouldered whitely through the smoke. That year we enjoyed a
summer of extraordinary heat, and Cyrus made the unique discovery about the
refrigerator, a large tin box, like a safe, that stood in the scullery. The
germ of the discovery, I am afraid, was a fluke, for he had snatched a steak of
salmon from the tray which the fishmonger had most imprudently left on the area
steps, and, with an instinct for secrecy which this unusual treasure-trove
awoke in him, he bore it to the nearest dark place, which happened to be the
refrigerator. Here he ate as much as it was wise to gobble at one sitting, and
then, I must suppose, instead of going to sleep, he pondered. For days he had
suffered from the excessive heat; his flower-pot ambush in the garden was
unendurable, so also was his retreat under my bedclothes. But here was a far more
agreeable temperature.... This is all the reconstruction of motive that I can
give, and it is but guesswork. But day after day, while the heat lasted, Cyrus
sat opposite the refrigerator and bolted into it whenever he found opportunity.
The heat also increased his somnolence, and one morning, when he came up to
breakfast with me, he fell asleep on the sofa before I had time to cut off the
little offering of kidney which I had meant to be my homage. When I put it
quite close to his nose he opened his mouth to receive it, but was again
drowned in gulfs of sleep before he could masticate it. So it stuck out of the
corner of his mouth like a cigarette. But eventually, I knew, he “would wake
and remember and understand.”
And now Cyrus is two years
old, and has reigned a year and ten months. I think he has completed his own
education, and certainly he has cleared his frontiers of cats, and, I am
afraid, his dominion of sparrows. One misguided bird this year built in a small
bush in his garden. A series of distressing unfledged objects were presented to
the cook.... He has appropriated the chair I was accustomed to use in my
sitting-room, and he has torn open the new back-cloth that I had caused to be
put on my piano. I dare say he was right about that, for there is no use in
having an ambush if you cannot get into it. In other ways, too, I do not think
he is strictly constitutional. But whenever I return to his kingdom after
some absence, as soon as the door is open Cyrus runs down the steps to meet me
(even as Puss-cat used to do) and makes a poker of his tail, and says
“Ah-h-h-h.” That makes up for a good deal of what appears to be tyranny. And
only this morning he gave me a large spider, precious and wonderful, and still
faintly stirring....
CRANK STORIES
1.THE TRAGEDY OF OLIVER BOWMAN
Oliver
Bowman was
sitting opposite his sister after dinner, watching her cracking walnuts in her
strong, firm hands. The wonder of it never failed: she put two walnuts in her
palms, pressed her hands together as if in silent prayer, and then there was a
great crash and pieces of walnut-shell flew about the table. It was a waste of
energy, no doubt, since close beside her were the nut-crackers that gave the
nut-eater so great a mechanical advantage; but then his sister had so much
energy that it would have been not less ridiculous to accuse the sea of wasting
energy because it broke in waves on the shore. Presently she would drink a
couple of glasses of port and begin smoking in earnest.
“And then?” asked Oliver,
who was exhibiting a fraternal interest in the way in which Alice had passed
her day.
“Then I had tea at an A B C
shop, and walked round the Park. Lovely day: you ought to have come out.”
“I had a little headache,”
said Oliver. He spoke in a soft voice, which occasionally cracked and went into
a high key, as when a boy’s voice is breaking. That had happened to him some
fifteen years ago, since he was now thirty; but he had made a habit of
dropping into falsetto tones, as being an engaging remnant of youthfulness.
“A good walk in the sun and
wind would have made that better,” said his sister.
“But I don’t like the sun,”
said he petulantly, “and you know I detest the wind.”
“What did you do, then?” she
asked.
“I read a story by Conrad
about a storm at sea. I quite felt as if I was going through it all without any
of the inconveniences of it. That is the joy of a well-written book: it
enlarges your experiences without paying you out for them.”
Alice dusted the fragments
of walnut-shell from her fingers, poured out a glass of port, and lit a
cigarette.
“I would sooner do any one
thing myself than read about any twenty,” she observed. “I should hate to get
my experiences secondhand, already digested for me, just as I should hate to wear
secondhand clothes or eat peptonized food. They’ve got to be mine, and I’ve got
to do them—I mean digest them—myself.”
Oliver refused port, and
took a very little coffee with a good deal of hot milk in it.
“Considering Nature has been
making men and women for so many million years, it’s odd how often she makes
mistakes about them,” he said. “She constantly puts them into the wrong
envelope: she puts a baby girl into a baby boy’s envelope, and a baby boy
into a baby girl’s. You ought to have been a boy, Alice, and I ought to have
been a girl.”
Alice could not resist
another walnut or two, and the crashings began again.
“That may be true,” she
said; “but that’s not really the point. A woman may be a real woman and yet
want to do things herself. The real mistake that Nature makes is to give people
arms and legs and a quantity of good red blood, and not give them the desire of
using them.”
“Or to give them an
imagination without the desire of using it,” remarked Oliver.
“I’m glad I have none,” said
Alice firmly. “I never imagine what a thing is going to be like. I go and do
the thing, and then I know.”
They passed into the
drawing-room next door, which seemed to bear out Oliver’s criticism on Nature’s
mistakes, because the room had been furnished and decorated in accordance with
his tastes, and with one exception was completely a woman’s room. Everything in
it was soft and shaded and screened sideways and draped. But in one corner was
a turning-lathe with an unshaded electric light directly over it.
Oliver walked across to an
easy-chair by the fireplace, and took down an embroidered bag that hung on a
painted screen there. It contained a quantity of coloured wools, and an
embroidery tambour. He was employed just now on making a chair-back
in petit point, and could easily fill in areas of uniform colour by
electric light, though daylight was necessary for matching shades of wool. The
design was a perfectly unreal rustic scene with a cottage and a tree and a lamb
and a blue sky and a slightly lighter blue lake. It realized completely to him
what the country ought to be like, and what the country never was like. Instead
of the lamb there was in real life a barking dog and a wasp; instead of a blue
lake a marsh, which oozed with mud and dirtied your boots; instead of a clean
white cottage, a pig-sty or a cowshed where stupid animals breathed heavily
through their noses at you. Oliver hated the country in consequence, and never
left town unless it was to immure himself from Saturday till Monday in a very
comfortable house with central heating, or to spend a few weeks in some other
town; but it was delightful to sit in his own pleasant room, and with coloured
wools make a picture of what the country should be. In the foreground of his
piece were clumps of daffodils, which he copied from those that stood on a
table near him, for there ought always to be daffodils in the foreground.
Alice occupied herself for
half an hour or so with an active foot on the treadle of her lathe, and made
loud buzzing noises with steel tools and boxwood. Then, as usual, she went to
bed very early, after a short struggle to read the evening paper, and left Oliver
to himself. These were the hours which he liked best of all the day, for there
was no chance of being interrupted and no prospect of having to go out of doors
or perform any action in which he would come in contact with real life in any
form. Alice’s lathe was silent, and all round him were soft, shaded objects and
his piece of needlework. But though he disliked the rough touch of life more
than anything in the world, there was nothing he liked better than to imagine
himself in the hubbub and excitement of adventure without stirring from his
chair.
Sometimes, as he had done
this afternoon, he would read a story of the sea, and thus, without terror of
shipwreck or qualms of nausea, listen to the crash of menacing waves and the
throb of the racing screw. Sometimes he would spend an hour in the country,
while his unerring needle made daffodils and lambs; or, with a strong effort of
the imagination, travel across France to the delightful shores of the Riviera
with a vividness derived from the Continental Bradshaw. A sniff at the lemon
brought in with a tray of wafer biscuits and a siphon could give him the effect
of a saunter through the lemon groves outside Nice, and the jingle of money in
his pocket recalled the Casino at Monte Carlo, where he saw himself amassing a
colossal fortune in a single night, and losing it all again. As a matter of
fact, he never set foot in the real Temple of Chance, because there were
so many bold females there who looked at his handsome face with such friendly,
if not provocative, glances. For though in imagination he was a perfect Don
Juan, the merest glance of interest from a female eye would send him scurrying
back like a lost lamb to the protective austerity of Alice.
To-night it seemed to him
that the habits and instincts of years came about him in crowds, asking him to
classify them and construct a definite theory about them for use in practical
life, and suddenly, in a flash of illumination, he saw the cohering principle
on which he had acted so long without consciously formulating it. He had always
hated real people, real experiences, the sun, the wind, the rain, but equally
had he loved the counterfeits of them as presented by Art in its various forms,
and by the suggestions that a lemon or a continental Bradshaw or a piece of
wool-work could give him. The theory that held all these things together was
that life for him consisted of imagination, not of experience, and the
practical application of that was to study and soak himself in the suggestions
that gave him the sting of experience, without any sordid contact with life. To
make a fortune (or lose one) at Monte Carlo would have implied setting cheek to
jowl with bold, bad people, and risking a great deal of money. It was
infinitely better to study the time-table of the trains to Monte Carlo, sniff a
lemon, and jingle his money in his pocket; while if he wanted the sense of
the hot, smoke-laden, scent-heavy atmosphere, he must smoke a cigarette and
sprinkle his handkerchief with musk or frangipane. A pack of cards thrown about
the table would assist the illusion, and he could say, “Faites vos jeux,
messieurs et mesdames,” in the chanting monotone of the croupiers.
From that night his horizons
began to expand, and he wondered at himself for the blindness in which he had
hitherto spent his life. The London streets, in spite of the wind and the sun
and the rain and the fog, woke into a teeming life of their own, and pelted
suggestions at him as the crowd pelted confetti at mi-carême. He began not to
dislike the crowded pavements, for he no longer took any notice of the real
people who were there, so absorbing had become the shop windows which gave him
the material which he translated into dreams. Hitherto, when he had passed a
fish shop he had held his breath, so that the objectionable smell of it might
not vex him; now, he inhaled it with a gusto as adding to the vividness of M.
Pierre Loti’s “Pêcheur d’Islande,” He would stand before a fish shop for five
minutes at a time, and be no longer in Bond Street, but in the hold of his boat
or on the quay at Paimpol. Even the boy in the shop who went out with a flat
tray on his shoulder was mon frère Yves, and Oliver almost spoke to
him in French. Next door was a shop filled with Japanese screens and carved
jade and branches of paper cherry-blossom, and lo! his fishing experiences
were whisked away, and he was living in the land of Madame Chrysanthème.
But it was only for a short
while that the shop windows were, so to speak, coloured illustrations in books
written by other men, for he soon discarded these second-hand canvases, and
constructed out of them and the wealth of suggestive material that lay
broadcast round him new and amazing adventures of his own. His senses, and in
particular his sense of smell, grew every day more acute, for daily he was
keenly on the look out for a sight or sound, a touch or smell, that would be to
him a hint out of which he could evolve some fantastic imagination that lived
henceforth in his brain as the memory of an actual experience lives in the
brain of those who, like his sister, must know that a thing has happened to
them before they can call it their own.
But of all the senses, that
of smell supplied him with the vividest hints: the aromatic odour, for
instance, that came out of the door of a chemist’s shop would launch him on a
brain adventure which lasted the whole length of a stroll down Piccadilly, in
which he felt himself suffering from some acute and mysterious disease that
baffled the skill of doctors, and led them to administer all manner of curious
drugs in the hope of bringing him alleviation. Then when he had soaked the
honey from this painful experience—for however disagreeable such an
illusion would have been in real life, it had in those vivid unrealities the
thrill and excitement of such without any of its inconveniences—the sight of a
jeweller’s window blazing with gems would scatter the clouds of his approaching
demise, and muffle the sound of his own passing bell with the strains of a
ball-room band. He would spring from his death-bed, and, experiencing a new
incarnation and a change of sex, would be the central figure, queen in her own
right, of some great State ball.
She—he, that is to say—was
unmarried, and as she wove the chain of the royal quadrille, the hands of half
a dozen aspirants to be her prince-consort communicated their hopes in the
pressure of finger-tips. A tiara to which the one in the shop window supplied
the clue was on her golden-haired head, ropes of pearls clinked as she moved, a
great diamond four times the size of the solitary splendour that winked on the
dark blue velvet there, scintillated on her breast, and to each of her lovers,
the Grand Duke Peter, the Archduke Francis, the Prince Ignatius, she gave the
same mysterious little smile, that, while she disdained their passion, yet
expressed some faint vibrating response. All men seemed rather alike to her,
and she gave a little sigh, half contemptuous of their adoration, half curious
about the desire that made them so divinely discontent. To-night she had
determined to choose one of them, for, queen though she was, she must conform
to the usage of the world, and besides—besides, the thought of bearing a
child of her own made some secret nerve ecstatically ache within her. She must
choose....
Then, even while Oliver was
hesitating between the Archduke Francis and Prince Ignatius, he would catch
sight of a flower-seller by the fountain in Piccadilly Circus, and straightway
he would be in the country of his petit point again, where
lambs were white and lakes blue; or the sight of a draped model with a waxwork
head would switch him off into a new amorous adventure with a lady in an
orange-coloured dress, just like that, and the point of an infinitesimal shoe
peeping seductively from below its hem.
By degrees, this particular
figure, standing in royal state alone behind the plate-glass window in Regent
Street, began to exercise a controlling influence on his imagination, and he
would hurry by the rows of shops which lay on his route without constructing
independent romances out of the hints they gave him, and only glancing at them
to see what suggestions they supplied as regards Her. He gave her,
for instance, the tiara which he had worn when he was queen in his own right;
he presented her with some lemon-coloured gloves that reached to her elbow; he
bought her daffodils from Piccadilly Circus; and, rather more tentatively, he
endowed her with a black hat with Gloire-de-Dijon roses in it; and standing
there in front of her, he would hold up to his nose the handkerchief on
which he had poured wallflower scent, which he was sure she would use, and
inhale a sweetness that really seemed to come from her through the plate-glass
window. All other shops which could not contribute to her embellishment became
uninteresting again, and once more he would hurry with held breath past the
fishmonger, for if was clearly unsuitable to present her with kippers, raw
salmon, or even live lobsters. Then, standing a little sideways, not directly
in front of her, her eyes met his, and though usually they seemed lost in
reverie, occasionally they would meet his own in a way that sent his heart thumping
in his throat. Always she wore the same faint, unfathomable smile, reminding
him of Leonardo’s “Monna Lisa,” and it seemed to him that the reason for which
Nature had brought him into the world was that he should penetrate into the
thoughts that set that red mouth so deliciously ajar. It must surely be on his
own lips that it would close.... Her loveliness, while she was kind, made the
whole world lovely to him, and his whole nature seemed to awake.
His constant day-long walks
about London had wonderfully improved his health; he no longer feared the sun
and the wind, and got quite bronzed in complexion. Still more remarkable was,
so to speak, the psychical bronzing of his mind, the suntan of virility that
overspread it; everything was shot with interest for him, and he even got Alice
to show him how to work the lathe. For this was no pining and lovelorn
affection; it was quite a hopeful affair, and though, when alone, he might sigh
and turn over and back again on his bed, the brilliance and upright carriage of
the object of his adoration stung him into a manly robustness. She would not
like him to go sighing and sheltering himself about the world.
It was no wonder that Alice
noticed and applauded the change in him.
“Something has happened to
you, Oliver,” she said one night at dinner, while they were cracking walnuts
together, for he had aspired to that accomplishment, though it hurt his soft
hands very much. “Something has happened to you. I wonder if I can guess what
it is?”
He felt quite secure of the
secrecy of his passion, and cracked two walnuts.
“I’m quite certain you
can’t,” he said. “Lord, that did hurt!”
“Well, I shall do no harm
then if I try,” said she. “I believe you’ve fallen in love.”
The convoluted kernels
dropped from Oliver’s fingers.
“What makes you think that?”
he asked.
“My dear, it’s obvious to a
woman’s eyes. I always told you that what you needed was to fall in love. You
don’t do wool-work any more; you walk instead of sitting in an easy-chair. Some
day, if you go on like this, you will play golf.”
“Gracious! Am I as bad as
that?” exclaimed he, startled into an irony that gave his case away.
Alice clapped her hands
delightedly.
“Ah! I am right then!” she
cried. “My dear, do tell me who she is? Shall I go and call on her? Have I ever
seen her?”
Oliver felt a curious
diplomatic pleasure in giving true information which he knew would deceive.
“Yes; I feel sure you have
seen her,” he said, remembering that Alice had her dresses made at the shop
where his divinity deified the window. “I can’t say that you know her.”
“Oh, who is she?” cried
Alice. “Is she a girl? Is she a woman? Will she marry you?”
“No; I don’t suppose so,”
said he.
Alice’s face fell.
“Is she somebody else’s
wife, then?” she asked. “I hope not. But I don’t know that it matters. It is
the fact of your having fallen in love which has improved you so immensely.
I’ve noticed that an unhappy romance is just as good for people as a humdrum
success which ends in christening mugs and perambulators.”
Oliver got up.
“You are rather coarse
sometimes, dear Alice,” he observed.
Oliver’s romance and his
growing robustness lasted for some few days after Alice had guessed his secret,
and then an end came to it more horrible than any that his wildest
imaginations could have suggested to him. One day he had seen in a celebrated
furrier’s a sable stole that would most delightfully protect his lady’s waxen
neck from the inclemencies of a shrewd May morning, and he hurried along, while
that was still vivid to his eye, in order to visualize it round her neck. There
was a crowd of women in front of her window, and he edged his way in with eyes
downcast, as was his wont, so that she might burst splendidly upon him at short
range. Then, full of devotion and sable stole, he raised them.
She was not there. In her
place was a bold-faced creature in carmine, with lustful, wicked eyes like the
females at Monte Carlo. His healthy outdoor life stood him in good stead at
that moment, for he did not swoon or address shrill ejaculations to his Maker.
He just staggered back one step, as if he had received a blow in the chest,
then rallied his failing forces again....
All day he walked from
dressmaker to dressmaker, seeking to find her; and when he was too much
fatigued to pursue his way on foot any longer, he went to his club, and by the
aid of a London directory ascertained the addresses of a couple of dozen more
shops farther afield where she might possibly be found. These he visited in a
taxi, but without success, and returned home to his flat a quarter of an hour
before dinner, where, utterly exhausted, he went to sleep in his chair.
Naturally, he dreamed about her, in a vague nightmarish manner, and she seemed
to be in trouble.
He awoke with a start, and
for a moment thought that, like Pygmalion, he had brought his Galatea to life,
for there she stood in front of him in the dusk. At least, her orange dress
stood there.
“My dear Oliver,” said
Alice’s voice, “aren’t you ready for dinner yet? Make me some compliment on my
new tea-gown....”
After that miserable
adventure he resolved to have no more to do with the serious or emotional side
of life, and in the words of one of our modern bards “he held it best in living
to take all things very lightly.” He had consecrated all the power of his
imagination on one great passion, and now his dream was exploded and Alice had
got the tea-gown! Almost worse than that was that the divine orange vesture of
his beloved had begun to multiply in a most unseemly manner in the shops of
quite inferior dressmakers, and half a dozen times a day he could feel his
breath catch in his throat as for a moment he thought he saw in some other
window the wraith of her who was for ever lost to him. But while this stung and
wounded him, it yet probably helped to cure him, and a few weeks later he was
immersed again in the minor joys of life, visiting Capri and the Bay of Naples,
when he saw the cages of quails in the poulterers’ shops, going again to Court
balls opposite the jeweller’s, tossing with the fishing fleet on moonlit nights
off the Cornish coast opposite the fishmonger’s, or spending hours in the
country over his embroidery frame.
One day a smart shower drove
him into the portals of Micklethwait’s Stores in Knightsbridge, where the most
exotic of purchasers can find their curious wants supplied, and all at once it
struck him that these incessant peregrinations of the streets made up a very
diluted form of life. Here all possible fountains of desire and adventure
scintillated under one roof, and you had but to take a step out of the Arctic
winter of the fur department to find yourself in the hot summer weather of
straw hats, or playing a match against the heads of the profession in the room
where billiard balls and tables were sold.
Though he would never fall
seriously in love again, he could have some pleasant flirtations in the ladies’
underwear department, or, if his mood was Byronic, he would go to the games
department and think of the nursery he would have furnished for his growing
family if the beloved in the orange dress had remained faithful to him, and not
given her tea-gown to Alice, whom it strangely misbecame. With a stifled groan
he would tear himself away from that, and, surrounded by paper and envelopes
and red-tape and sealing-wax, spend an hour as Secretary of State for Foreign
Affairs, conducting abstruse diplomatic operations with the perfidious
Turk, and worsting him at every turn in the tangled game.
So underneath those lofty
roofs and terra-cotta cupolas, he began to live a life of which the variety and
extravagance baffles description. A chance shower had originally taken him
there (for on such small accidents does our destiny depend), but now rain or
fine, hot or cold, he was the first in the morning to pass through the swing
doors and, with a couple of hurried intervals for meals, the last to leave in
the evening. Whether August burned the torrid pavements outside, or whether the
fog gripped the town in its grimy hand, there was always the same warm, calm
atmosphere inside laden with a hundred aromatic scents and teeming with rich
suggestions of love and athletics and chemistry and travel. Often in the
morning he would be tempted to go straight to the department of tea-gowns and
other more intimate feminine apparel, but he kept a firm hold on himself and
transacted business in the stationery department, or spent a studious hour in
the book-room first.
Nor did he neglect his
exercise, and in the games department he knocked up a hundred runs at cricket,
or had a brisk game of hockey, or played a round of golf, a pursuit to which he
was now passionately attached owing to the strange suggestive forms of niblicks
and brassies. Or, artistically inclined, he would wander among paint-boxes,
palettes, and sketching umbrellas by the shore of some windless sea, and
then hurry away to a counter behind which were discreet bathing costumes for
both sexes, and spend a pleasant quarter of an hour in mixed bathing. This
always gave him an appetite, and he tripped off to the cooked foods department,
popping in at the bakery on the way, and had a delicious lunch off crisp
country bread, with a pot of caviare and a couple of slices of galantine,
washed down with a glass of Chablis from the wine department. Then perhaps
after a whiff of roasting coffee from the grocery department, he would put on
some clean ducks with a grey silk tie (haberdashery), in which he put a
pear-shaped pearl pin (jewellery), and then, fresh and cool, spent a half-hour
of airy badinage with the agreeable ladies, “whose presence,” as he recollected
Mr. Pater saying, “so strangely rose” beside the chiffon and millinery. His
constant passage through the various departments provoked no suspicion in the
minds of the shop-walkers and attendants that he was one of the light-fingered
brigade, for from time to time he made small purchases and always paid ready
cash, and it occurred to no one that here was an opportunity of studying,
first-hand, the rapid development of one of the strangest and most harmless
monomaniacs who had ever pursued his innocent way outside the protective walls
of a lunatic asylum.
After such a delicious lunch
it was no wonder that when he went back to his flat he could make but small
pretence at eating, for in imagination he had fared so delicately and well that
the lumps of muscular mutton and robust beef provided by Alice’s catering made
no appeal to him. She might wonder at the smallness of his appetite, but she
could not feel the slightest anxiety about that, so bright of eye and alert of
limb was he under the spell of the happy busy life crowded with incident, that
now was his.
After lunch he would sit
with her a little, talking in the most vivid and interesting manner on the
topics of the moment, and then, looking at his watch, would silently remind
himself that he was giving a pianoforte recital at three, and, if he was
already a little late, would call a taxi to take him back to the Stores, while
he suppled and gave massage to his fingers as he drove.
He was by this time in an
advanced state of his agreeable insanity, for he had lost all control over his
imagination, the workings of which were entirely in the hands of the
suggestions that external objects made to it. It was just in this that the
completeness of his enjoyment of life lay. It was in this, too, that there lay
such discomfort and suffering as was his. The sight of a “dental case” in a
window, with its rows of gleaming teeth and rose-coloured gums and palates, was
sufficient to give him a violent stab of pain in his teeth, for the suggestion
implied that he would have to get them all taken out before he attained to the
acquisition of those foreign splendours. But he had learned by this time
the position of all the shops between his flat and the Stores which displayed
these and similar dolorous exhibitions, and his eye would instinctively avert
itself from doctors’ door-plates or shops where were sold ear-trumpets, and
pitch, with the precision of a bird on a twig, on cheerful and harmonious
windows. He no longer, in fact, lived a self-governing life of his own, but was
no more than thistledown in a wind before the suggestions that the outside
world made to his disordered senses. And then, as was bound to happen sooner or
later, came the crash.
That day he saw for the
first time, close beside the lift in the boot department, through which he
passed by accident, for boots conveyed nothing at all to him, a black door
slightly ajar, and thinking, with a pang of delight, that some fresh world of
experiences might be about to burst upon him, he entered. His first impression
was of some lovely garden full of white flowers arranged in wreaths, as if in
garden beds, and all covered with glass cases. Then he saw that though his
first impression had been of gleaming whites, the predominant note was black.
There were black cloaks, black scarves, black hats, black-edged cards.... And
then, with a sudden icy pang at his heart, he saw straight in front of him a
large oblong box with glass sides, on the top of which were nodding ostrich
plumes. Simultaneously there advanced out of the gloom a small man in
black clothes, with neat side-whiskers, clearly dyed. He came towards him,
rubbing his hands in a professional and sympathetic manner.
“Is there anything we can do
for you, sir?” he asked.
Oliver’s teeth chattered in his head, and his eyes rolled heavenwards. Then he spun round and fell in a heap on the floor. He was dead.
2.PHILIP’S SAFETY RAZOR
Up to the time of
Philip’s obsession there cannot have been in all the world a happier couple
than he and his wife. As everybody knows, the ecstasy of life has its home in
the imagination, and Philip and Phœbe Partington lived almost exclusively in
those realms which were illumined by the light that never was on sea or land. I
do not absolutely affirm that sea and land would have been the better for that
light; all that I insist on was that the Partington effulgence certainly never
was there. It was a remunerative light also, and out of the proceeds they
bought a quantity of false Elizabethan furniture and a motor-car. A spin in the
motor-car after the ecstatic labour of the morning cleared Phœbe’s head, and
they dined together in an Elizabethan room with rushes on the floor. That
cleared Phœbe’s head, too, for nothing in the world could be remoter from the
setting of her imaginative life than anything Elizabethan. She and her husband
lived in an opulent and lurid present, which, in its turn, was just as remote
from contemporary life as most people know it, as were the “spacious days” that
had left their spurious traces on the dining-room.
They were the most
industrious of artists and often had as many as three feuilletons running
simultaneously in provincial papers, and the manner of their activity was this.
Every morning, directly after breakfast, Philip sat in the dining-room, and
until one o’clock proceeded to turn into narrative the very complete and
articulated skeleton of the tale which Phœbe manufactured in the drawing-room.
The imaginative gift was hers; there was not a situation in the world which she
could not contemplate unwinking, like an eagle staring into the sun, and these
she passed on to her husband, whose power of putting them into narrative was as
unrivalled as his wife’s in conceiving them.
Picture him, then, with his
plump, amiable face bent over Phœbe’s imaginings, a perennial pipe in his
mouth, and, invariably, two or three little tufts of cotton-wool struck on to
his cheek or chin, where he had cut himself shaving that morning. Occasionally,
but very rarely, he had to go into the drawing-room to ask the elucidation of
some situation: how, for instance, was Algernon Montmorency to leap lightly out
of the window, and so regain his motor-car, when Phœbe had laid the scene in
the top room of the moated tower of Eagles Castle? But Phœbe could always
suggest a remedy which cost the minimum of readjustment, and ten minutes
afterwards Algernon would be thundering along the road with the lurid Semitic
moneylender in close pursuit. But for such occasional interruption and the
periodical lighting of his pipe he would not pause for a second till the
morning’s work was over. He never hesitated for a word, for he had at his
command the entire vocabulary of English clichés, and he often got
through two instalments before lunch. At one precisely the parlourmaid came in,
and groping through the fog of tobacco-smoke, opened all the windows and began
to lay the table. Upon which Philip washed off his tufts of cotton-wool,
snatched Phœbe from her imaginative visions, and strolled in the garden with
her till the gong summoned them to the recuperative spell of a mutton chop and
a glass of blood-making Australian Burgundy.
After lunch they drove in
the motor-car, returning for tea, and from tea till dinner they read over aloud
and discussed their morning’s work. In this way Philip made acquaintance with
the subject-matter he would be employed on next morning, and Phœbe learned how
that which she had written yesterday had turned out. Philip had never any
criticism to make: his wife’s imagination seemed to him one of the most glorious
instruments ever devised for the delectation of the literary, and she often
said that of all contemporary novelists her husband was the only man capable of
handling the situations she poured out in this unending flood. After dinner
they played patience, went early to bed, and awoke with an unquenchable
zest for the labour and rewards of another day.
It is impossible to figure a
happier or a more harmonious existence. In imagination they roamed over the
entire world without the expense or inconvenience of foreign travel: their
spirits ranged through the whole gamut of human emotion, and whatever
adversities the Algernon and Eva of the moment went through, their creators and
interpreters knew in their heart of hearts that all was going to end well, for
otherwise they would speedily have lost their pinnacled eminence as writers of
serial stories in the daily press. It is true that Philip’s voice often shook
as he read, and that Phœbe’s eyes were dim as she listened to the written tale
of the remarkable disasters and misunderstandings through which the children of
her brain had to pass; but these were but luxurious and sterile sorrows. In
fact, the greatest trial that ever came to them during these halcyon years was
when the editor of one of the papers in which the tale was running wrote to say
that it was so popular that he insisted on having at least another fortnight of
it, instead of bringing it to an end in two more instalments.
That entailed a vast deal of
work, for Phœbe had to search the file to find out by what constructive
carpentering she could engineer an episode that would be of the requisite
length; for the last instalment of all, when the severed were reunited,
must naturally be left for the end. But she never failed to manage it somehow,
and even when tribulation was great, and for the moment she could not conceive
how to spin the story out, her cloud had a silver lining, for all this
difficult work was due to the story’s amazing popularity. Or sometimes some
ill-mannered reader would write to the newspaper office to point out that St.
Peter’s Church at Rome did not stand on a “commanding eminence,” or ask more
information about the “glittering spires” on the Acropolis at Athens, or demur
to the “pellucid waters of the Nile in flood, as it rolled down in blue
cataracts studded with milk-white foam.” But otherwise their life flowed on in
an unbroken succession of literary triumphs and domestic happiness.
Then suddenly without any
warning whatever the curtain was rung up on a psychological tragedy; for
Philip, by some species of spiritual infection from his wife, began to develop
an imagination. It did not at first threaten to attack what Phœbe in a Gallic
moment had once called their “vie intérieure,” by which she meant their
literary labours, but was directly concerned only with the present of a safety
razor which she had made him on his birthday, in order to save cotton-wool and
his life-blood. This safety razor consisted of a neat little sort of a rake
into which razor blades were fitted. Each of these, when blunted by use, was to
be thrown away and a fresh one inserted, and that morning, Philip, finding that
his blade had begun to lose its edge, tossed it lightly and airily out of his
dressing-room window, from which it fell into a herbaceous border which ran
along the house. The new blade gave the utmost satisfaction, and precisely at
nine-thirty he lit his first pipe and began his work for the day on Phœbe’s
scenario.
The dining-room was just
below his dressing-room, and at that moment there came a rustle from the
herbaceous bed, and Phœbe’s adorable Persian cat leaped on to the window-sill
from outside, and proceeded to make its toilet in the warm May sunshine. And at
that precise and fatal moment Philip Partington’s imagination began to work. It
stirred within him like the first faint pang of a toothache. For some quarter
of an hour he refused to recognize its existence, and proceeded to clothe in
suitable language the flight of Eva up the frozen Thames in an ice-ship. Not knowing
exactly what an ice-ship was, and being aware that his readers would be
similarly ignorant, he evolved a beautiful one out of his inner consciousness
that “skimmed along” on a single runner like a skate. It was not, he reflected,
any less likely that it should keep its balance than that a bicycle should....
Suddenly he laid down his
pen. His imagination was beginning to hurt him. It would be a terrible thing if
Phœbe’s cat, while it prowled though the herbaceous bed, stepped on the blade
of the safety razor. Blunt though it was for shaving purposes, it would
easily inflict a cruel wound on Tommy’s paw. When his work was done, he must
really hunt for the blade, and bestow it in some safer place.
He took up his pen again and
wrote, “Ever faster through the deepening winter twilight sped the ice-ship,
and Eva controlling the tiller in her long taper fingers, watched the dusky
banks fly past her. ‘Oh, God,’ she murmured, ‘grant that I may be in time!’ The
woods of Richmond....”
The cat had finished its toilet
and jumped down again into the herbaceous bed. Philip heard a faint mew, and
his awaking imagination told him that Tommy had cut his foot already. With a
spasm of remorse he ran out into the garden and began a frenzied search for the
razor-blade which with such culpable carelessness he had thrown away. A quarter
of an hour’s search was rewarded by its discovery, and as there was no blood on
the edge of it he thankfully assumed that he had not been punished (nor Tommy
either) for his thoughtlessness. He unfortunately stepped on a fine
calceolaria, and regained the gravel path with the blade in his hand.
He locked it up in the
drawer of his knee-hole table, where he kept his will and his pass-book and his
cheque book, and with a free mind returned to Eva, perilously voyaging on the
ice past the woods of Richmond, and praying that she should be “in time.”
But suddenly, and for the first time in their dual and prosperous career
as feuilleton writers, Philip found himself finding a certain
want of actuality in Phœbe’s imaginings. They lacked the bite of such realism
as he had found illustrated in the poignancy of his own search for the
discarded razor-blade in the herbaceous border. There was emotion, real human
emotion, though only concerned with the paws of a cat and a razor, whereas
Eva’s taper fingers on the tiller of this remarkable craft seemed to want the
solidity of mortal experience. But it would never do to lose faith in Phœbe’s
inventions, for it was his faith in them that lent him his unique skill as
interpreter and chronicler of them. And, anyhow, the razor-blade was safely
inaccessible now to any cat on its pleasure excursions, and he turned his mind
back to the woods of Richmond.
With the unexpectedness of a
clock loudly chiming, his imagination began to work again. What if he should
suddenly die even as he sat there at his table! Phœbe alone knew where his will
was kept, and he saw her, blind with tears, unlocking the drawer and groping
with trembling hand among its contents. Suddenly she would start back with a
cry of pain, and withdraw her hand, on which the fast-flowing blood denoted
that she had severed an artery or two, and would bleed to death in a few
seconds, as had happened to a most obnoxious Marquis in the tale, “Kind hearts
are more than coronets.”
Next moment he had unlocked
the drawer, and gingerly holding the dread instrument of Phœbe’s death between
finger and thumb, looked wildly round for some secure asylum for the hateful
thing. Long he stood there in hesitation; then, mounting a set of “library
steps,” deposited it on the top of the tall bookcase which held the complete
file of all the newspapers in which their tales had appeared. Then he set to
work again on Eva, who presently ran her ice-boat ashore below the Star and
Garter hotel. But half the morning had already gone, and he had scarcely yet
made a beginning of the morning’s work.
Phœbe was unusually buoyant
at lunch time to-day, but for once her cheerfulness failed in shedding sunshine
on Philip.
“My dear, I have got over
such a difficult point,” she said. “Do you remember how Moses Isaacson got
Algernon to sign the paper which acknowledged that he was not Lord St.
Austell’s legitimate son?”
“Yes, yes,” said Philip
feverishly, trying to recall the exact happening of those miserable events.
“Well, all that was written
in invisible ink, and all he thought he signed was the lease of Eagles Castle.
There! And look, here is the first dish of asparagus.”
“And how about the lease?”
asked Philip.
“It was written in
water-colour ink, and, of course, Moses Isaacson washed it off afterwards.”
“Capital!” said Philip.
“That does the trick.”
There was silence for a
minute or two as the novelists ate the fresh asparagus, and then Phœbe said:
“To-morrow, dear, you will
have to come and work with me in the drawing-room. The maids must begin their
spring cleaning, and indeed it should have been done a month ago. We will have
lunch and dinner in the hall while they do this room, and the day after they
will do the drawing-room, and I will do my work with you here.”
Philip’s fingers were
stealing towards the last stick of asparagus, but at this they were suddenly
arrested.
“Ah, spring cleaning!” he
said with assumed cheerfulness. “They just dust the books, I suppose, and sweep
the floor.”
She laughed. She had Eva’s
celebrated laugh, which was like a peal of silver bells.
“Indeed, they do much more
than that,” she said. “Every book is taken out and dusted; they move all the
furniture, and clean it all, back and front and top and bottom. But you won’t
know a thing about it, except that our dear Elizabethan dining-room will look
so spick and span that Elizabeth herself might have dinner in it. Some day we
must do an historical novel, you and I. Think what a setting we have here!”
Though the day was so
deliciously warm, it felt rather chilly in the evening, or so Philip thought, and
a fire was lit in the drawing-room. Phœbe had a slight headache, and thus it
was quite natural that she should go to bed early, leaving her husband sitting
up. As soon as he had heard the door of her bedroom close, he went softly to
the dining-room, and again mounting the library-steps, took down the
razor-blade from the cache which this morning had seemed so
secure, and went back with it into the drawing-room. It would have been
terrible if Jane, the housemaid, who always sang at her work, should to-morrow
have suddenly interrupted her warblings with a wild scream, as she dusted the
top of the bookcase. Perhaps the razor-blade would have embedded itself in her hand;
perhaps, even more tragically, her flapping duster would have flicked it into
her smiling and songful face, and have buried it deep in her eye or her open
mouth. But now this gruesome domestic tragedy had been averted by Philip’s
ingenious perception of the chilliness of the evening, and with a sigh of
relief he dropped the fatal blade into the core of the fire.
He went softly up to bed,
feeling very tired after this emotional day. Now that his anxiety was allayed
he would have liked to tell Phœbe how silly he had been, for never before had
he had a secret from her. But then one of Phœbe’s most sacred idols in life was
her husband’s stern masculine common sense that (like Algernon’s) was never the
prey of foolish fears and unfounded tremors. He hated the idea of smashing
up this cherished image of Phœbe’s, and determined to keep his unaccountable
failing to himself. Phœbe should never know. Besides, it would vex her very
much to be told that her present to him had occasioned him such uneasiness.
He fell asleep at once, and
woke in the grey dawn of the morning to the sound, as it were, of clashing
cymbals of terror in his brain.... The housemaid would clear up the fireplace
in the drawing-room, and there among the ashes, like a snake in the grass, would
be the keen tooth of the razor-blade. Perhaps already Philip was too late, and
before he could get down a cry of pain would ring through the silent house,
betokening that Jane’s life-blood was already spreading over the new
Kidderminster carpet, and he sprang from his bed and with bare feet went
hurriedly down to the drawing-room.
Thank God he was in time,
and a minute afterwards he was on his way up to bed again with the razor-blade
still dusty with ashes, but as sharp as ever, in an envelope taken from Phœbe’s
table. Temporarily, he put it between his mattresses, and, since it was still
only half-past four, climbed back into bed, and vainly attempted to compose
himself to sleep.
Already he was behindhand
with work that should have been done yesterday morning, and when to-day,
with the envelope containing the blade in his breast-pocket, he tried to make
up for lost time, he only succeeded in losing more of it. There were other
distractions as well, for owing to the spring cleaning in progress in the
dining-room, he sat with Phœbe in the drawing-room, and she, quite recovered
from her headache, and quite undisturbed by his presence, was reeling off sheet
after sheet in her big, firm handwriting of the further trials that awaited
Algernon. Sometimes she looked up at him with a bright, glad smile, born of the
joy of creation; but for the most part her head was bent over her work, and but
a short peal of silver-bell laughter from time to time denoted the ecstasy of
invention. And falling more and more behind her, Philip lumbered in her wake,
with three-quarters of his mind entirely absorbed in the awful problem
regarding the contents of the envelope in his breast-pocket.
Suddenly, brighter than the
noonday outside, an idea illuminated him, and he got up.
“I shall take ten minutes’
stroll, my dear,” he said. “Solvitur ambulando, you know, and you have
given me a difficult chapter to write!”
She recalled herself with an
effort to the real world.
“I think I won’t come with
you, darling,” she said. “I am afraid of breaking the golden thread, as you
once called it. Let me see ...” and she grabbed the golden thread again.
At the bottom of the garden
ran a swift chalk-stream that had often figured in their joint works, and
towards this Philip joyfully hurried. He picked up half a dozen pebbles from
the gravel path, put them into the envelope which contained the instrument of
death, tucked the flap in, and threw it into the stream. There was a slight
splash, and he saw the white envelope shiningly sink through the water until it
came to rest at the bottom. He returned to Phœbe with the sense that he had
awoke from some strangling nightmare.
For a couple of days after
that Philip enjoyed the ecstasy which succeeds the removal of some haunting
terror. Basking in the sunshine of security, he could look down on the dark
clouds through which he had passed, and feel with thankfulness how completely
(though narrowly) he had escaped the misty fringe of some trouble of the brain,
the claws and teeth and pincers of a fixed idea. The simple expedient of
throwing the razor-blade into the stream had entirely dispersed those clouds,
and till then he had never known the sweetness and sanity of the sun. Then,
with tropical rapidity, the tempest closed in upon him again.
He and Phœbe had driven out
in their motor-car one afternoon, and had dismissed it two miles from home in
order to have the pleasure of walking back through the flowery lanes. Philip
was something of a botanist, and since he was now engaged on the chronicling
of the reunion of Eva and Algernon, which unexpectedly took place in a ruined
temple near Rome, he wanted to refresh his memory by the sight of the glories
of the early English summer, in order to deck the flowery fields in which the
ruined temple lay with the utmost possible lavishness of floral tapestry.
“The ruin stands for the
trial they have passed through, my dear,” he explained to Phœbe, “and lo, all
round Nature breaks into gladness!”
Phœbe gave a deep sigh.
“I think that’s lovely,” she
said. “How you embellish my dry skeleton of a tale, darling, covering it with
strong muscles and lovely supple skin. We are happy, aren’t
we? I wonder if Algernon and Eva were really as happy, even at that moment, as
we always are!”
They had come near to the
stream that flowed by the bottom of the garden, the bank of which was a tangle
of flowers.
“Loosestrife, meadow-sweet,
marsh-marigold, willow-herb,” said Philip. “Delicious names, are they not?”
The sound of shrill juvenile
voices was heard, and turning a bend in the lane, they came opposite the pool
where Philip had thrown the razor-blade. There on the bank were half a dozen
small boys in various degrees of nudity, and rosy from their bathing.
“Little darlings!” said
Phœbe sympathetically. “What a jolly time they have been having in the water!”
“Willow-herb,
marsh-marigold,” murmured Philip mechanically, looking round for the traces of
blood on the stream-bank....
He took a firm hold of
himself, and managed to walk across the wooden bridge that led to the bottom of
the garden with some show of steadiness. But he almost reeled and fell when,
looking into the pool, he saw the razor-blade, its encompassing envelope having
been destroyed by the water, shining on the pebbly bottom of the stream like
tragic Rhinegold.
When they had had tea, he
made some lame excuse of studying flowers a little longer and slipped down
again to the stream. The boys had gone, and taking off his shoes and socks, and
rolling his trousers up to the knee, he waded out over the sharp pebbles to
where his doom flickered in the sunshine. With the aid of his stick he
propelled it into shallower waters and picked it up. Then, shivering from the
brisk water, and tearing his socks as he pulled them over his wet feet, he
returned with it to the house in a state of more miserable dejection than
Algernon had ever been, even when he sat down on the ruins of the Roman temple,
unaware that Eva was just about to come round the corner with April in her
eyes.
For the next week Philip
carried the razor-blade about with him in a stud-box that during the day never
left his pocket, and at night reposed under his pillow. He made several
attempts to get rid of it in a way that commended itself to his conscience,
which seethed with scruples and imaginary terrors, burying it once in the
garden, and at another time throwing it into the ash-bin. But the sight of his
terrier digging in the potato patch for a suitable hiding place for his bone,
caused him to disinter it from the first of these, and the second entailed a
dismal midnight visit to the dust-bin, when, one evening, Phœbe casually
alluded to the dustman’s approaching visit.
On another occasion he was
fired with the original notion of embedding it in the interstices of the rough
bark of the ilex at the end of the garden, well out of reach of curious
fingers, and with the stud-box in his pocket, climbed with infinite difficulty
up into its lower branches. But while wedging it into a suitable crevice the
bough on which his weight rested suddenly gave way, and he fell heavily to the
ground, while the blade flashed through the air like Excalibur and plunged into
a bramble-bush. It was, of course, necessary to get it out, and this prickly
business, combined with a sprained ankle, brought him almost aground in the shoals
of despair. He began contemplating enlisting as a private in the British army,
though well over the military age and of obese figure. Perhaps he would
find some opportunity in Flanders of throwing it, suitably weighted, into a
German trench. Only the thought of Phœbe left alone and making up interminable
plots, with no one to turn them into narrative for her, kept him from this
desperate step.
Meantime his work halted and
languished, for sleepless nights and nightmare days miserably affected his
power of composition, his style and even such matters as punctuation and
spelling. Phœbe grew anxious about him, and recommended a holiday, but he had
the wisdom to know that the only thing that kept him on the safe side of the
frontier between sanity and madness was determined application to work, however
poor the output was. He felt that he might just as well pack his boxes and go
straight to Bedlam instead of making a circuitous journey there via the
Malvern Hills.
It was when his condition
was at its worst that there gleamed a light through the tunnel of his despair.
The editor of the Yorkshire Telegraph, who wanted another story by
the Partingtons, with the shortest possible delay, wrote to him suggesting in
the most delicate manner that life in New York would present an admirable
setting for a tale, especially since the United States had come into the war,
and offering to pay his passage to that salubrious city if he would favourably
consider this proposal. And all at once Philip remembered having read in some
book of physical geography, studied by him in happier boyish days, that
the Atlantic in certain places was not less than seven miles deep....
He read this amiable epistle
to his wife.
“Upon my word, it sounds a
very good plan,” he said brightly. “What do you say, Phœbe? It will give me the
holiday of which you think I stand in need.”
Phœbe shook her head.
“Do you propose that I
should come with you?” she asked. “Why should a holiday among the submarines do
you more good than the Malvern Hills?”
The thought of the deep
holes in the Atlantic grew ever more rosy to Philip’s mind. Even the hideous
notion of being torpedoed failed to take the colour out of it.
“My dear, these are days in
which a man must not mind taking risks,” he said.
She smiled at him.
“I know your fearless
nature, darling,” she said; “but what is the point of running unnecessary
risks?”
“Local colour. There is a
great deal in Mr. Etherington’s remarks.”
“I don’t agree. I should
think with our experience we ought to be able to describe New York without
going there. We didn’t find it necessary to go to Athens, or Khartoum, or
Mexico.”
“True,” said he; “but
perhaps my descriptions might have gained in veracity if we had. That was a
tiresome letter to the Yorkshire Telegraph about the spires on
the Acropolis. If we had been there, we should have known that there weren’t
any.”
He fingered the stud-box in
his pocket for a moment, and his fingers itched to drop it over a ship’s side.
“My part of our joint work
might gain in true artistic feeling,” he said, “if I described what I had
actually seen. Art holds the mirror up to nature, you know.”
“Yes, darling; but do you
think Shakespeare meant that Art must hold the mirror up to New York?” asked
she. “I fancy there is very little nature in New York.”
He took a turn or two up and
down the room, while the box positively burned his finger-tips.
“I can’t help feeling as I
do about it,” he said. “And, Phœbe, one of our earliest vows to each other was
that each of us should respect the other’s literary conscience!”
She got up.
“You disarm me, dear,” she
said. “Apply for your passport, and if they give it you, go. I only ask you to
respect my feminine weakness and not make me come with you among all those
horrid submarines.”
They sealed their compact
with a kiss.
By the time Phœbe had
interviewed her cook, her husband had already written his letter applying for
his passport, on the grounds of artistic necessity in his profession. She read
it through with high approval.
“Very dignified and proper,”
she said. “By the way, dear, there will be no work for us this morning. We are
going over the factory for explosives with kind Captain Traill. You and I must
observe the processes very carefully, as we want all the information we can get
for ‘The Hero of Ypres.’”
He jumped up with something
of his old alacrity.
“Aha, there speaks your
artistic conscience,” he said. “And don’t let me see too many soft glances
between you and kind Captain Traill.”
Phœbe looked hugely
delighted and returned the compliment.
“And there are some very
pretty girls working there,” she observed slyly.
An hour afterwards they were
padding in felt slippers round the room where bombs were packed with a fatal
grey treacle, one spoonful of which was sufficient to blow them and the whole
building into a million fragments. A new type of bomb was being made there,
consisting of a cast-iron shell fitted with a hole through which the grey
treacle was poured; an iron stopper was then screwed into the hole. There
were hundreds of those empty shells, which slid along grooved ways to where the
treacle was put into them, and they then were passed on to the girls, who fixed
their stoppers. It was all soft, silent, deadly work, and Philip recorded a
hundred impressions on his retentive memory.
Phœbe and Captain Traill
were walking just ahead of him, when suddenly a great light broke, so vividly
illuminating his brain that he almost thought some terrific explosion, seen and
not heard, had occurred. Stealthily he drew from his pocket the stud-case,
stealthily he opened it and took out the razor-blade. Then, bending over an
empty bomb-case as if to examine it, he dropped the blade into it. It fell
inside with a slight chink, which nobody noticed.
A couple of minutes
afterwards the bomb-case had passed through the hands of the dispenser of
treacle, and had its stopper screwed in.
“And where are all those
little surprise packets going?” asked Philip airily.
“To aeroplanes on the west
front,” said kind Captain Traill. “We’re sending off a lot to-night. Perhaps
that one”—and he pointed to the identical bomb which Philip had had a hand in
filling—“will make a mess in Mannheim next week.”
“I hope so,” said Philip
fervently.
The only thing, now that
Philip had disposed of the razor-blade, that clouded his complete content
was the fear that his passport would be granted him, and that he would have to
make a journey to America. Happily no such unnerving calamity occurred, for a
week later he received a polite intimation from the passport office that the
object for which he wanted to go there did not seem of sufficient importance to
warrant the granting of a permit; so, wreathed in smiles, he passed this letter
over to Phœbe.
“There’s the end of that,”
he said.
“Philistines! Barbarians!”
she said indignantly.
“I suppose they are acting
to the best of their judgment,” said he. “I dare say they have never heard of
me.”
“My dear, don’t be so
cynical,” said Phœbe.
“Well, well! Certainly I am
bitterly disappointed.”
He took up the morning
paper.
“Bitterly!” he said again.
“Hallo! Our airmen bombed Mannheim two nights ago, and dropped three tons of
high explosives. Well, that is very interesting. Captain Traill said that
perhaps some of those bombs which we saw being filled would make a mess in
Mannheim. I hope they were those actual ones.”
“So do I,” said Phœbe. “Was
there much damage done?”
“The German account says
that there was hardly any, but of course that is the German account. A few
people were wounded and cut by fragments of the bombs. Cut!”
He got up and could hardly
refrain from dancing round the table among the rushes.
“Some deep cuts, I shouldn’t
wonder,” he said.
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