The Damned and Other Stories
by Algernon Blackwood
Project Gutenberg Australia
Table of Contents
1.The Damned
2.Accessory Before
The Fact 3.The Attic
4.Clairvoyance
5.An Egyptian Hornet
6.First Hate
7.The Goblin's
Collection 8.The House of the
Past
9.Keeping His Promise
10.The Listener
11.Max Hensig
12.The Occupant of the
Room
13.The Other Wing
14.Running Wolf
15.The Singular Death
of Morton
16.The Terror of the
Twins 17.The Transfer
18.Transition
19.The Tryst
20.Wayfarers
Chapter I
if she insisted that our going together on the
visit involved her happiness. 'My work is rather heavy just now too, as you
know. The question is, could I work there--with a lot of unassorted people in
the house?'
'Mabel doesn't mention any other people, Bill,'
was my sister's rejoinder. 'I gather she's alone--as well as lonely.'
By the way she looked sideways out of the window
at nothing, it was obvious she was disappointed, but to my surprise she did not
urge the point; and as I glanced at Mrs. Franklyn's invitation lying upon her
sloping lap, the neat, childish handwriting conjured up a mental picture of the
banker's widow, with her timid, insignificant personality, her pale grey eyes
and her expression as of a backward child. I thought, too, of the roomy country
mansion her late husband had altered to suit his particular needs, and of my
visit to it a few years ago when its barren spaciousness suggested a wing of
Kensington Museum fitted up temporarily as a place to eat and sleep in.
Comparing it mentally with the poky Chelsea flat where I and my sister kept
impecunious house, I realised other points as well. Unworthy details flashed
across me to entice: the fine library, the organ, the quiet work-room I should
have, perfect service, the delicious cup of early tea, and hot baths at any
moment of the day--without a geyser!
'It's a longish visit, a month--isn't it?' I
hedged, smiling at the details that seduced me, and ashamed of my man's
selfishness, yet knowing that Frances expected it of me. 'There are points
about it, I admit. If you're set on my going with you, I could manage it all
right.'
I spoke at length in this way because my sister
made no answer. I saw her tired eyes gazing into the dreariness of Oakley
Street and felt a pang strike through me. After a pause, in which again she
said no word, I added: 'So, when you write the letter, you might hint, perhaps,
that I usually work all the morning, and--er--am not a very lively visitor!
Then she'll understand, you see.' And I half-rose to return to my diminutive
study, where I was slaving, just then, at an absorbing article on Comparative
Aesthetic Values in the Blind and Deaf.
But Frances did not move. She kept her grey eyes
upon Oakley Street where the evening mist from the river drew mournful
perspectives into view. It was late October. We heard the omnibuses thundering
across the bridge. The monotony of that broad, characterless street seemed more
than usually depressing. Even in June sunshine it was dead, but with autumn its
melancholy soaked into every house between King's Road and the Embankment. It
washed thought into the past, instead of inviting it hopefully towards the
future. For me, its easy width was an avenue through which nameless slums
across the river sent creeping messages of depression, and I always regarded it
as Winter's main entrance into London--fog, slush, gloom trooped down it every
November, waving their forbidding banners till March came to rout them.
Its one claim upon my love was that the south
wind swept sometimes unobstructed up it, soft with suggestions of the sea. These
lugubrious thoughts I naturally kept to myself, though I never ceased to regret
the little flat whose cheapness had seduced us. Now, as I watched my sister's
impassive face, I realised that perhaps she, too, felt as I felt, yet, brave
woman, without betraying it.
'And, look here, Fanny,' I said, putting a hand
upon her shoulder as I crossed the room, 'it would be the very thing for you.
You're worn out with catering and housekeeping. Mabel is your oldest friend,
besides, and you've hardly seen her since he died--'
'She's been abroad for a year, Bill, and only
just came back,' my sister interposed. 'She came back rather unexpectedly,
though I never thought she would go there to live--' She stopped abruptly.
Clearly, she was only speaking half her mind. 'Probably,' she went on, 'Mabel
wants to pick up old links again.'
'Naturally,' I put in, 'yourself chief among
them.' The veiled reference to the house I let pass.
It involved discussing the dead man for one
thing.
'I feel I ought to go anyhow,' she resumed, 'and
of course it would be jollier if you came too.
'You'd get in such a muddle here by yourself,
and eat wrong things, and forget to air the rooms, and--oh, everything!' She
looked up laughing. 'Only,' she added, 'there's the British Museum--?'
'But there's a big library there,' I answered,
'and all the books of reference I could possibly want. It was of you I was
thinking. You could take up your painting again; you always sell half of what
you paint. It would be a splendid rest too, and Sussex is a jolly country to
walk in. By all means, Fanny, I advise--'
Our eyes met, as I stammered in my attempts to
avoid expressing the thought that hid in both our minds. My sister had a
weakness for dabbling in the various 'new' theories of the day, and Mabel, who
before her marriage had belonged to foolish societies for investigating the
future life to the neglect of the present one, had fostered this undesirable
tendency. Her amiable, impressionable temperament was open to every psychic
wind that blew. I deplored, detested the whole business. But even more than
this I abhorred the later influence that Mr. Franklyn had steeped his wife in,
capturing her body and soul in his sombre doctrines. I had dreaded lest my
sister also might be caught.
'Now that she is alone again--'
I stopped short. Our eyes now made pretence
impossible, for the truth had slipped out inevitably, stupidly, although
unexpressed in definite language. We laughed, turning our faces a moment to
look at other things in the room. Frances picked up a book and examined its
cover as though she had made an important discovery, while I took my case out
and lit a cigarette I did not want to smoke. We left the matter there. I went
out of the room before further explanation could cause tension. Disagreements
grow into discord from such tiny things--wrong adjectives, or a chance
inflection of the voice. Frances had a right to her views of life as much as I
had. At least, I reflected comfortably, we had separated upon an agreement this
time, recognised mutually, though not actually stated.
And this point of meeting was, oddly enough, our
way of regarding some one who was dead.
For we had both disliked the husband with a
great dislike, and during his three years' married life had only been to the
house once--for a weekend visit; arriving late on Saturday, we had left after
an early breakfast on Monday morning. Ascribing my sister's dislike to a
natural jealousy at losing her old friend, I said merely that he displeased me.
Yet we both knew that the real emotion lay much deeper. Frances, loyal,
honourable creature, had kept silence; and beyond saying that house and
grounds--he altered one and laid out the other--distressed her as an expression
of his personality somehow ("distressed" was the word she used), no
further explanation had passed her lips.
Our dislike of his personality was easily
accounted for--up to a point, since both of us shared the artist's point of
view that a creed, cut to measure and carefully dried, was an ugly thing, and
that a dogma to which believers must subscribe or perish everlastingly was a
barbarism resting upon cruelty. But while my own dislike was purely due to an
abstract worship of Beauty, my sister's had another twist in it, for with her
'new' tendencies, she believed that all religions were an aspect of truth and
that no one, even the lowest wretch, could escape 'heaven' in the long run.
Samuel Franklyn, the rich banker, was a man
universally respected and admired, and the marriage, though Mabel was fifteen
years his junior, won general applause; his bride was an heiress in her own
right--breweries--and the story of her conversion at a revivalist meeting where
Samuel Franklyn had spoken fervidly of heaven, and terrifyingly of sin, hell
and damnation, even contained a touch of genuine romance. She was a brand
snatched from the burning; his detailed eloquence had frightened her into
heaven; salvation came in the nick of time; his words had plucked her from the
edge of that lake of fire and brimstone where their worm dieth not and the fire
is not quenched. She regarded him as a hero, sighed her relief upon his saintly
shoulder, and accepted the peace he offered her with a grateful resignation.
For her husband was a 'religious man' who
successfully combined great riches with the glamour of winning souls. He was a
portly figure, though tall, with masterful, big hands, his fingers rather thick
and red; and his dignity, that just escaped being pompous, held in it something
that was implacable. A convinced assurance, almost remorseless, gleamed in his eyes
when he preached especially, and his threats of hell fire must have scared
souls stronger than the timid, receptive Mabel whom he married. He clad himself
in long frock-coats hat buttoned unevenly, big square boots, and trousers that
invariably bagged at the knee and were a little short; he wore low collars,
spats occasionally, and a tall black hat that was not of silk. His voice was
alternately hard and unctuous; and he regarded theatres, ball-rooms and
race-courses as the vestibule of that brimstone lake of whose geography he was
as positive as of his great banking offices in the City. A philanthropist up to
the hilt, however, no one ever doubted his complete sincerity; his convictions
were ingrained, his faith borne out by his life--as witness his name upon so
many admirable Societes, as treasurer, patron, or heading the donation list. He
bulked large in the world of doing good, a broad and stately stone in the
rampart against evil. And his heart was genuinely kind and soft for others--who
believed as he did.
Yet, in spite of this true sympathy with
suffering and his desire to help, he was narrow as a telegraph wire and
unbending as a church pillar; he was intensely selfish; intolerant as an
officer of the Inquisition, his bourgeois soul constructed a revolting scheme
of heaven that was reproduced in miniature in all he did and planned. Faith was
the sine qua non of salvation, and by 'faith' he meant belief in his own
particular view of things--'which faith, except every one do keep whole and
undefiled, without doubt he shall perish everlastingly.' All the world but his
own small, exclusive sect must be damned eternally--a pity, but alas,
inevitable. He was right.
Yet he prayed without ceasing, and gave heavily
to the poor--the only thing he could not give being big ideas to his provincial
and suburban deity. Pettier than an insect, and more obstinate than a mule, he
had also the superior, sleek humility of a 'chosen one.' He was churchwarden
too. He read the Lesson in a 'place of worship,' either chilly or overheated,
where neither organ, vestments, nor lighted candles were permitted, but where
the odour of hair-wash on the boys' heads in the back rows pervaded the entire
building.
This portrait of the banker, who accumulated
riches both on earth and in heaven, may possibly be overdrawn, however, because
Frances and I were 'artistic temperaments' that viewed the type with a dislike
and distrust amounting to contempt. The majority considered Samuel Franklyn a
worthy man and a good citizen. The majority, doubtless, held the saner view. A
few years more, and he certainly would have been made a baronet. He relieved
much suffering in the world, as assuredly as he caused many souls the agonies
of torturing fear by his emphasis upon damnation.
Had there been one point of beauty in him, we
might have been more lenient; only we found it not, and, I admit, took little
pains to search. I shall never forget the look of dour forgiveness with which
he heard our excuses for missing Morning Prayers that Sunday morning of our
single visit to The Towers. My sister learned that a change was made soon
afterwards, prayers being 'conducted' after breakfast instead of before.
The Towers stood solemnly upon a Sussex hill
amid park-like modern grounds, but the house cannot better be described--it
would be so wearisome for one thing--than by saying that it was a cross between
an overgrown, pretentious Norwood villa and one of those saturnine Institutes
for cripples the train passes as it slinks ashamed through South London into
Surrey. It was 'wealthily' furnished and at first sight imposing, but on closer
acquaintance revealed a meagre personality, barren and austere. One looked for
Rules and Regulations on the walls, all signed By Order. The place was a prison
that shut out 'the world.' There was, of course, no billiard-room, no
smoking-room, no room for play of any kind, and the great hall at the back,
once a chapel, which might have been used for dancing, theatricals, or other
innocent amusements, was consecrated in his day to meetings of various kinds,
chiefly brigades, temperance or missionary societies. There was a harmonium at
one end--on the level floor--a raised dais or platform at the other, and a
gallery above for the servants, gardeners and coachmen. It was heated with hot-water
pipes, and hung with Doré's pictures, though these latter were soon removed and
stored out of sight in the attics as being too unspiritual. In polished, shiny
wood, it was a representation in miniature of that poky exclusive Heaven he
took about with him, externalising it in all he did and planned, even in the
grounds about the house.
Changes in The Towers, Frances told me, had been
made during Mabel's year of widowhood abroad--an organ put into the big hall,
the library made liveable and recatalogued--when it was permissible to suppose
she had found her soul again and returned to her normal, healthy views of life,
which included enjoyment and play, literature, music and the arts, without,
however, a touch of that trivial thoughtlessness usually termed worldliness.
Mrs. Franklyn, as I remembered her, was a quiet little woman, shallow, perhaps,
and easily influenced, but sincere as a dog and thorough in her faithful
Friendship. Her tastes at heart were catholic, and that heart was simple and
unimaginative. That she took up with the various movements of the day was a
sign merely that she was searching in her limited way for a belief that should
bring her peace. She was, in fact, a very ordinary woman, her calibre a little
less than that of Frances. I knew they used to discuss all kinds of theories
together, but as these discussions never resulted in action, I had come to
regard her as harmless. Still, I was not sorry when she married, and I did not
welcome now a renewal of the former intimacy. The philanthropist she had given
no children, or she would have made a good and sensible mother. No doubt she
would marry again.
'Mabel mentions that she's been alone at The
Towers since the end of August,' Frances told me at tea-time; 'and I'm sure she
feels out of it and lonely. It would be a kindness to go. Besides, I always
liked her.'
I agreed. I had recovered from my attack of
selfishness. I expressed my pleasure.
'You've written to accept,' I said, half
statement and half question.
Frances nodded. 'I thanked for you,' she added
quietly, 'explaining that you were not free at the moment, but that later, if
not inconvenient, you might come down for a bit and join me.'
I stared. Frances sometimes had this independent
way of deciding things. I was convicted, and punished into the bargain.
Of course there followed argument and
explanation, as between brother and sister who were affectionate, but the
recording of our talk could be of little interest. It was arranged thus,
Frances and I both satisfied. Two days later she departed for The Towers,
leaving me alone in the flat with everything planned for my comfort and good
behaviour--she was rather a tyrant in her quiet way--and her last words as I
saw her off from Charing Cross rang in my head for a long time after she was gone:
'I'll write and let you know, Bill. Eat
properly, mind, and let me know if anything goes wrong.'
She waved her small gloved hand, nodded her head
till the feather brushed the window, and was gone.
Chapter II
After the note announcing her safe arrival a
week of silence passed, and then a letter came; there were various suggestions
for my welfare, and the rest was the usual rambling information and description
Frances loved, generously italicised.
'...and we are quite alone,' she went on in her
enormous handwriting that seemed such a waste of space and labour, 'though some
others are coming presently, I believe. You could work here to your heart's
content. Mabel quite understands, and says she would love to have you when you
feel free to come. She has changed a bit--back to her old natural self: she
never mentions him. The place has changed too in certain ways: it has more
cheerfulness, I think. She has put it in, this cheerfulness, spaded it in, if
you know what I mean; but it lies about uneasily and is not natural--quite. The
organ is a beauty. She must be very rich now, but she's as gentle and sweet as
ever. Do you know, Bill, I think he must have frightened her into marrying him.
I get the impression she was afraid of him.' This last sentence was inked out,
I but I read it through the scratching; the letters being too big to hide. 'He
had an inflexible will beneath all that oily kindness which passed for
spiritual. He was a real personality, I mean. I'm sure he'd have sent you and
me cheerfully to the stake in another century--for our own good. Isn't it odd
she never speaks of him, even to me?' This, again, was stroked through, though
without the intention to obliterate--merely because it was repetition, probably.
'The only reminder of him in the house now is a big copy of the presentation
portrait that stands on the stairs of the Multitechnic Institute at
Peckham--you know--that life-size one with his fat hand sprinkled with rings
resting on a thick Bible and the other slipped between the buttons of a tight
frock-coat. It hangs in the dining-room and rather dominates our meals. I wish
Mabel would take it down. I think she'd like to, if she dared. There's not a
single photograph of him anywhere, even in her own room. Mrs. Marsh is
here--you remember her, his housekeeper, the wife of the man who got penal
servitude for killing a baby or something--you said she robbed him and
justified her stealing because the story of the unjust steward was in the
Bible! How we laughed over that! She's just the same too, gliding about all
over the house and turning up when least expected.'
Other reminiscences filled the next two sides of
the letter, and ran, without a trace of punctuation, into instructions about a
Salamander stove for heating my work-room in the flat; these were followed by
things I was to tell the cook, and by requests for several articles she had
forgotten and would like sent after her, two of them blouses, with descriptions
so lengthy and contradictory that I sighed as I read them--'unless you come
down soon, in which case perhaps you wouldn't mind bringing them; not the mauve
one I wear in the evening sometimes, but the pale blue one with lace round the
collar and the crinkly front. They're in the cupboard--or the drawer, I'm not
sure which--of my bedroom. Ask Annie if you're in doubt. Thanks most awfully.
Send a telegram, remember, and we'll meet you in
the motor any time. I don't quite know if I shall stay the whole month--alone.
It all depends...' And she closed the letter, the italicised words increasing
recklessly towards the end, with a repetition that Mabel would love to have me
'for myself,' as also to have a 'man in the house,' and that I only had to
telegraph the day and the train...' This letter, coming by the second post,
interrupted me in a moment of absorbing work, and, having read it through to
make sure there was nothing requiring instant attention, I threw it aside and
went on with my notes and reading. Within five minutes, however, it was back at
me again. That restless thing called 'between the lines' fluttered about my
mind. My interest in the Balkan States--political article that had been
'ordered'--faded. Somewhere, somehow I felt disquieted, disturbed. At first I
persisted in my work, forcing myself to concentrate, but soon found that a
layer of new impressions floated between the article and my attention. It was
like a shadow, though a shadow that dissolved upon inspection. Once or twice I
glanced up, expecting to find some one in the room, that the door had opened
unobserved and Annie was waiting for instructions. I heard the 'buses
thundering across the bridge. I was aware of Oakley Street.
Montenegro and the blue Adriatic melted into the
October haze along that depressing Embankment that aped a river bank, and
sentences from the letter flashed before my eyes and stung me. Picking it up
and reading it through more carefully, I rang the bell and told Annie to find
the blouses and pack them for the post, showing her finally the written
description, and resenting the superior smile with which she at once
interrupted. 'I know them, sir,' and disappeared.
But it was not the blouses: it was that
exasperating thing 'between the lines' that put an end to my work with its
elusive teasing nuisance. The first sharp impression is alone of value in such
a case, for once analysis begins the imagination constructs all kinds of false
interpretation. The more I thought, the more I grew fuddled. The letter, it
seemed to me, wanted to say another thing; instead the eight sheets conveyed it
merely. It came to the edge of disclosure, then halted.
There was something on the writer's mind, and I
felt uneasy. Studying the sentences brought, however, no revelation, but
increased confusion only; for while the uneasiness remained, the first clear
hint had vanished. In the end I closed my books and went out to look up another
matter at the British Museum library. Perhaps I should discover it that way--by
turning the mind in a totally new direction. I lunched at the Express Dairy in
Oxford Street close by, and telephoned to Annie that I would be home to tea at
five.
And at tea, tired physically and mentally after
breathing the exhausted air of the Rotunda for five hours, my mind suddenly
delivered up its original impression, vivid and clear-cut; no proof accompanied
the revelation; it was mere presentiment, but convincing. Frances was disturbed
in her mind, her orderly, sensible, housekeeping mind; she was uneasy, even
perhaps afraid; something in the house distressed her, and she had need of me.
Unless I went down, her time of rest and change, her quite necessary holiday,
in fact, would be spoilt. She was too unselfish to say this, but it ran
everywhere between the lines. I saw it clearly now. Mrs. Franklyn,
moreover--and that meant Frances too--would like a 'man in the house.' It was a
disagreeable phrase, a suggestive way of hinting something she dared not state
definitely. The two women in that great, lonely barrack of a house were afraid.
My sense of duty, affection, unselfishness,
whatever the composite emotion may be termed, was stirred; also my vanity. I
acted quickly, lest reflection should warp clear, decent judgment.
'Annie,' I said, when she answered the bell,
'you need not send those blouses by the post. I'll take them down tomorrow when
I go. I shall be away a week or two, possibly longer.' And, having looked up a
train, I hastened out to telegraph before I could change my fickle mind.
But no desire came that night to change my mind.
I was doing the right, the necessary thing. I was even in something of a hurry
to get down to The Towers as soon as possible. I chose an early afternoon
train.
Chapter III
A telegram had told me to come to a town ten
miles from the house, so I was saved the crawling train to the local station,
and travelled down by an express. As soon as we left London the fog cleared
off, and an autumn sun, though without heat in it, painted the landscape with
golden browns and yellows. My spirits rose as I lay back in the luxurious motor
and sped between the woods and hedges. Oddly enough, my anxiety of overnight
had disappeared. It was due, no doubt, to that exaggeration of detail which
reflection in loneliness brings. Frances and I had not been separated for over
a year, and her letters from The Towers told so little. It had seemed unnatural
to be deprived of those intimate particulars of mood and feeling I was
accustomed to. We had such confidence in one another, and our affection was so
deep. Though she was but five years younger than myself, I regarded her as a
child. My attitude was fatherly.
In return, she certainly mothered me with a
solicitude that never cloyed. I felt no desire to marry while she was still
alive. She painted in water-colours with a reasonable success, and kept house
for me; I wrote, reviewed books and lectured on aesthetics; we were a humdrum
couple of quasi-artists, well satisfied with life, and all I feared for her was
that she might become a suffragette or be taken captive by one of these wild
theories that caught her imagination sometimes, and that Mabel, for one, had
fostered. As for myself, no doubt she deemed me a trifle solid or stolid--I
forget which word she preferred--but on the whole there was just sufficient
difference of opinion to make intercourse suggestive without monotony, and
certainly without quarrelling.
Drawing in deep draughts of the stinging autumn
air, I felt happy and exhilarated. It was like going for a holiday, with
comfort at the end of the journey instead of bargaining for centimes.
But my heart sank noticeably the moment the
house came into view. The long drive, lined with hostile monkey trees and
formal wellingtonias that were solemn and sedate, was mere extension of the
miniature approach to a thousand semidetached suburban 'residences'; and the
appearance of The Towers, as we turned the corner with a rush, suggested a
commonplace climax to a story that had begun interestingly, almost thrillingly.
A villa had escaped from the shadow of the Crystal Palace, thumped its way down
by night, grown suddenly monstrous in a shower of rich rain, and settled itself
insolently to stay. Ivy climbed about the opulent red-brick walls, but climbed
neatly and with disfiguring effect, sham as on a prison or--the simile made me
smile--an orphan asylum. There was no hint of the comely roughness of untidy
ivy on a ruin. Clipped, trained and precise it was, as on a brand-new
protestant church. I swear there was not a bird's nest nor a single earwig in
it anywhere. About the porch it was particularly thick, smothering a seventeenth-century
lamp with a contrast that was quite horrible. Extensive glass-houses spread
away on the farther side of the house; the numerous towers to which the
building owed its name seemed made to hold school bells; and the window-sills,
thick with potted flowers, made me think of the desolate suburbs of Brighton or
Bexhill. In a commanding position upon the crest of a hill, it overlooked miles
of undulating, wooded country southwards to the Downs, but behind it, to the
north, thick banks of ilex, holly and privet protected it from the cleaner and
more stimulating winds. Hence, though highly placed, it was shut in. Three
years had passed since I last set eyes upon, it, but the unsightly memory I had
retained was justified by the reality. The place was deplorable.
It is my habit to express my opinions audibly
sometimes, when impressions are strong enough to warrant it; but now I only
sighed 'Oh, dear,' as I extricated my legs from many rugs and went into the
house. A tall parlour-maid, with the bearing of a grenadier, received me, and
standing behind her was Mrs. Marsh, the housekeeper, whom I remembered because
her untidy back hair had suggested to me that it had been burnt. I went at once
to my room, my hostess already dressing for dinner, but Frances came in to see
me just as I was struggling with my black tie that had got tangled like a
bootlace. She fastened it for me in a neat, effective bow, and while I held my
chin up for the operation, staring blankly at the ceiling, the impression
came--I wondered, was it her touch that caused it?--that something in her
trembled. Shrinking perhaps is the truer word. Nothing in her face or manner
betrayed it, nor in her pleasant, easy talk while she tidied my things and
scolded my slovenly packing, as her habit was, questioning me about the
servants at the flat. The blouses, though right, were crumpled, and my scolding
was deserved. There was no impatience even. Yet somehow or other the suggestion
of a shrinking reserve and holding back reached my mind. She had been lonely,
of course, but it was more than that; she was glad that I had come, yet for
some reason unstated she could have wished that I had stayed away. We discussed
the news that had accumulated during our brief separation, and in doing so the
impression, at best exceedingly slight, was forgotten. My chamber was large and
beautifully furnished; the hall and dining-room of our flat would have gone
into it with a good remainder; yet it was not a place I could settle down in
for work. It conveyed the idea of impermanence, making me feel transient as in
a hotel bedroom. This, of course, was the fact. But some rooms convey a
settled, lasting hospitality even in a hotel; this one did not; and as I was
accustomed to work in the room I slept in, at least when visiting, a slight
frown must have crept between my eyes.
'Mabel has fitted a work-room for you just out
of the library,' said the clairvoyant Frances.
'No one will disturb you there, and you'll have
fifteen thousand books all catalogued within easy reach. There's a private
staircase too. You can breakfast in your room and slip down in your
dressing-gown if you want to.' She laughed. My spirits took a turn upwards as
absurdly as they had gone down.
'And how are you?' I asked, giving her a belated
kiss. 'It's jolly to be together again. I did feel rather lost without you,
I'll admit.'
'That's natural,' she laughed. 'I'm so glad.'
She looked well and had country colour in her
cheeks. She informed me that she was eating and sleeping well, going out for
little walks with Mabel, painting bits of scenery again, and enjoying a
complete change and rest; and yet, for all her brave description, the word
somehow did not quite ring true. Those last words in particular did not ring
true. There lay in her manner, just out of sight, I felt, this suggestion of
the exact reverse--of unrest, shrinking, almost of anxiety. Certain small
strings in her seemed over-tight. 'Keyed-up' was the slang expression that
crossed my mind. I looked rather searchingly into her face as she was telling
me this.
'Only--the evenings,' she added, noticing my
query, yet rather avoiding my eyes, 'the evenings are--well, rather heavy
sometimes, and I find it difficult to keep awake.'
'The strong air after London makes you drowsy,'
I suggested, 'and you like to get early to bed.'
Frances turned and looked at me for a moment
steadily. 'On the contrary, Bill, I dislike going to bed--here. And Mabel goes
so early.' She said it lightly enough, fingering the disorder upon my
dressing-table in such a stupid way that I saw her mind was working in another
direction altogether. She looked up suddenly with a kind of nervousness from
the brush and scissors.
'Billy,' she said abruptly, lowering her voice,
'isn't it odd, but I hate sleeping alone here? I can't make it out quite; I've
never felt such a thing before in my life. Do you--think it's all nonsense?'
And she laughed, with her lips but not with her
eyes; there was a note of defiance in her I failed to understand.
'Nothing a nature like yours feels strongly is
nonsense, Frances,' I replied soothingly.
But I, too, answered with my lips only, for
another part of my mind was working elsewhere, and among uncomfortable things.
A touch of bewilderment passed over me. I was not certain how best to continue.
If I laughed she would tell me no more, yet if I took her too seriously the
strings would tighten further. Instinctively, then, this flashed rapidly across
me: that something of what she felt, I had also felt, though interpreting it
differently. Vague it was, as the coming of rain or storm that announce
themselves hours in advance with their hint of faint, unsettling excitement in
the air. I had been but a short hour in the house--big, comfortable, luxurious
house--but had experienced this sense of being unsettled, unfixed, fluctuating--a
kind of impermanence that transient lodgers in hotels must feel, but that a
guest in a friend's home ought not to feel, be the visit short or long. To
Frances, an impressionable woman, the feeling had come in the terms of alarm.
She disliked sleeping alone, while yet she longed to sleep. The precise idea in
my mind evaded capture, merely brushing through me, three-quarters out of
sight; I realised only that we both felt the same thing, and that neither of us
could get at it clearly.
Degrees of unrest we felt, but the actual thing
did not disclose itself. It did not happen.
I felt strangely at sea for a moment. Frances
would interpret hesitation as endorsement, and encouragement might be the last
thing that could help her.
'Sleeping in a strange house,' I answered at
length, 'is often difficult at first, and one feels lonely. After fifteen
months in our tiny flat one feels lost and uncared-for in a big house. It's an
uncomfortable feeling--I know it well. And this is a barrack, isn't it? The
masses of furniture only make it worse. One feels in storage somewhere
underground--the furniture doesn't furnish. One must never yield to fancies,
though--'
Frances looked away towards the windows; she
seemed disappointed a little.
'After our thickly-populated Chelsea,' I went on
quickly, 'it seems isolated here.'
But she did not turn back, and clearly I was
saying the wrong thing. A wave of pity rushed suddenly over me. Was she really
frightened, perhaps? She was imaginative, I knew, but never moody; common sense
was strong in her, though she had her times of hypersensitiveness. I caught the
echo of some unreasoning, big alarm in her. She stood there, gazing across my
balcony towards the sea of wooded country that spread dim and vague in the
obscurity of the dusk. The deepening shadows entered the room, I fancied, from
the grounds below. Following her abstracted gaze a moment, I experienced a
curious sharp desire to leave, to escape. Out yonder was wind and space and
freedom. This enormous building was oppressive, silent, still.
Great catacombs occured to me, things beneath
the ground, imprisonment and capture. I believe I even shuddered a little.
I touched her shoulder. She turned round slowly,
and we looked with a certain deliberation into each other's eyes.
'Fanny,' I asked, more gravely than I intended,
'you are not frightened, are you? Nothing has happened, has it?'
She replied with emphasis, 'Of course not! How
could it--I mean, why should I?' She stammered, as though the wrong sentence
flustered her a second. 'It's simply--that I have this ter--this dislike of
sleeping alone.'
Naturally, my first thought was how easy it
would be to cut our visit short. But I did not say this. Had it been a true
solution, Frances would have said it for me long ago.
'Wouldn't Mabel double-up with you,' I said
instead, 'or give you an adjoining room, so that you could leave the door
between you open? There's space enough, heaven knows.'
And then, as the gong sounded in the hall below
for dinner, she said, as with an effort, this thing:
'Mabel did ask me--on the third night--after I
had told her. But I declined.'
'You'd rather be alone than with her?' I asked,
with a certain relief.
Her reply was so gravely given, a child would
have known there was more behind it: 'Not that; but that she did not really
want it.'
I had a moment's intuition and acted on it
impulsively. 'She feels it too, perhaps, but wishes to face it by herself--and
get over it?'
My sister bowed her head, and the gesture made
me realise of a sudden how grave and solemn our talk had grown, as though some
portentous thing were under discussion. It had come of itself--indefinite as a
gradual change of temperature. Yet neither of us knew its nature, for
apparently neither of us could state it plainly. Nothing happened, even in our
words.
'That was my impression,' she said, '--that if
she yields to it she encourages it. And a habit forms so easily. Just think,'
she added with a faint smile that was the first sign of lightness she had yet
betrayed, 'what a nuisance it would be--everywhere--if everybody was afraid of
being alone--like that.'
I snatched readily at the chance. We laughed a
little, though it was a quiet kind of laughter that seemed wrong. I took her
arm and led her towards the door.
'Disastrous, in fact,' I agreed.
She raised her voice to its normal pitch again,
as I had done. 'No doubt it will pass,' she said, 'now that you have come. Of
course, it's chiefly my imagination.' Her tone was lighter, though nothing
could convince me that the matter itself was light--just then. 'And in any
case,' tightening her grip on my arm as we passed into the bright enormous
corridor and caught sight of Mrs. Franklyn waiting in the cheerless hall below,
'I'm very glad you're here, Bill, and Mabel, I know, is too.'
'If it doesn't pass,' I just had time to whisper
with a feeble attempt at jollity, 'I'll come at night and snore outside your
door. After that you'll be so glad to get rid of me that you won't mind being
alone.'
'That's a bargain,' said Frances.
I shook my hostess by the hand, made a banal
remark about the long interval since last we met, and walked behind them into
the great dining-room, dimly lit by candles, wondering in my heart how long my
sister and I should stay, and why in the world we had ever left our cosy little
flat to enter this desolation of riches and false luxury at all. The unsightly
picture of the late Samuel Franklyn, Esq., stared down upon me from the farther
end of the room above the mighty mantel-piece.
He looked, I thought, like some pompous Heavenly
Butler who denied to all the world, and to us in particular, the right of entry
without presentation cards signed by his hand as proof that we belonged to his
own exclusive set. The majority, to his deep grief, and in spite of all his
prayers on their behalf, must burn and 'perish everlastingly.'
Chapter IV
With the instinct of the healthy bachelor I
always try to make myself a nest in the place I live in, be it for long or
short. Whether visiting, in lodging-house, or in hotel, the first essential is
this nest--one's own things built into the walls as a bird builds in its
feathers. It may look desolate and uncomfortable enough to others, because the
central detail is neither bed nor wardrobe, sofa nor arm-chair, but a good
solid writing-table that does not wriggle, and that has wide elbow-room.
And The Towers is vividly described for me by
the single fact that I could not 'nest' there.
I took several days to discover this, but the
first impression of impermanence was truer than I knew. The feathers of the mind
refused here to lie one way. They ruffled, pointed and grew wild.
Luxurious furniture does not mean comfort; I
might as well have tried to settle down in the sofa and arm-chair department of
a big shop. My bedroom was easily managed; it was the private workroom,
prepared especially for my reception, that made me feel alien and outcast.
Externally, it was all one could desire: an
ante-chamber to the great library, with not one, but two generous oak tables,
to say nothing of smaller ones against the walls with capacious drawers.
There were reading-desks, mechanical devices for
holding books, perfect light, quiet as in a church, and no approach but across
the huge adjoining room. Yet it did not invite.
'I hope you'll be able to work here,' said my
little hostess the next morning, as she took me in--her only visit to it while
I stayed in the house--and showed me the ten-volume Catalogue.
'It's absolutely quiet and no one will disturb
you.'
'If you can't, Bill, you're not much good,'
laughed Frances, who was on her arm. 'Even I could write in a study like this!'
I glanced with pleasure at the ample tables, the
sheets of thick blotting-paper, the rulers, sealing-wax, paper-knives, and all
the other immaculate paraphernalia. 'It's perfect,' I answered with a secret
thrill, yet feeling a little foolish. This was for Gibbon or Carlyle, rather
than for my pot-boiling insignificancies. 'If I can't write masterpieces here,
it's certainly not your fault,' and I turned with gratitude to Mrs. Franklyn.
She was looking straight at me, and there was a question in her small pale eyes
I did not understand. Was she noting the effect upon me, I wondered?
'You'll write here--perhaps a story about the
house,' she said, 'Thompson will bring you anything you want; you only have to
ring.' She pointed to the electric bell on the central table, the wire running
neatly down the leg. 'No one has ever worked here before, and the library has
been hardly used since it was put in. So there's no previous atmosphere to
affect your imagination--er--adversely.'
We laughed. 'Bill isn't that sort,' said my
sister; while I wished they would go out and leave me to arrange my little nest
and set to work.
I thought, of course, it was the huge listening
library that made me feel so inconsiderable--the fifteen thousand silent,
staring books, the solemn aisles, the deep, eloquent shelves. But when the
women had gone and I was alone, the beginning of the truth crept over me, and I
felt that first hint of disconsolateness which later became an imperative No. The
mind shut down, images ceased to rise and flow. I read, made copious notes, but
I wrote no single line at The Towers.
Nothing completed itself there. Nothing
happened.
The morning sunshine poured into the library
through ten long narrow windows; birds were singing; the autumn air, rich with
a faint aroma of November melancholy that stung the imagination pleasantly,
filled my ante-chamber. I looked out upon the undulating wooded landscape,
hemmed in by the sweep of distant Downs, and I tasted a whiff of the sea. Rooks
cawed as they floated above the elms, and there were lazy cows in the nearer
meadows. A dozen times I tried to make my nest and settle down to work, and a
dozen times, like a turning fastidious dog upon a hearth-rug, I rearranged my
chair and books and papers. The temptation of the Catalogue and shelves, of
course, was accountable for much, yet not, I felt, for all. That was a
manageable seduction. My work, moreover, was not of the creative kind that
requires absolute absorption; it was the mere readable presentation of data I
had accumulated. My note-books were charged with facts ready to
tabulate--facts, too, that interested me keenly. A mere effort of the will was
necessary, and concentration of no difficult kind. Yet, somehow, it seemed beyond
me: something for ever pushed the facts into disorder...and in the end I sat in
the sunshine, dipping into a dozen books selected from the shelves outside,
vexed with myself and only half-enjoying it. I felt restless. I wanted to be
elsewhere.
And even while I read, attention wandered.
Frances, Mabel, her late husband, the house and grounds, each in turn and
sometimes all together, rose uninvited into the stream of thought, hindering
any consecutive flow of work. In disconnected fashion came these pictures that
interrupted concentration, yet presenting themselves as broken fragments of a
bigger thing my mind already groped for unconsciously. They fluttered round
this hidden thing of which they were aspects, fugitive interpretations, no one
of them bringing complete revelation. There was no adjective, such as pleasant
or unpleasant, that I could attach to what I felt, beyond that the result was
unsettling. Vague as the atmosphere of a dream, it yet persisted, and I could
not dissipate it.
Isolated words or phrases in the lines I read
sent questions scouring across my mind, sure sign that the deeper part of me
was restless and ill at ease.
Rather trivial questions too--half-foolish
interrogations, as of a puzzled or curious child: Why was my sister afraid to
sleep alone, and why did her friend feel a similar repugnance, yet seek to
conquer it? Why was the solid luxury of the house without comfort, its shelter
without the sense of permanence? Why had Mrs. Franklyn asked us to come,
artists, unbelieving vagabonds, types at the farthest possible remove from the
saved sheep of her husband's household? Had a reaction set in against the
hysteria of her conversion? I had seen no signs of religious fervour in her;
her atmosphere was that of an ordinary, high-minded woman, yet a woman of the
world. Lifeless, though, a little, perhaps, now that I came to think about it:
she had made no definite impression upon me of any kind. And my thoughts ran
vaguely after this fragile clue.
Closing my book, I let them run. For, with this
chance reflection came the discovery that I could not see her clearly--could
not feel her soul, her personality. Her face, her small pale eyes, her dress
and body and walk, all these stood before me like a photograph; but her Self
evaded me. She seemed not there, lifeless, empty, a shadow--nothing. The
picture was disagreeable, and I put it by. Instantly she melted out, as though
light thought had conjured up a phantom that had no real existence. And at that
very moment, singularly enough, my eye caught sight of her moving past the
window, going silently along the gravel path. I watched her, a sudden new
sensation gripping me. 'There goes a prisoner,' my thought instantly ran, 'one
who wishes to escape, but cannot.'
What brought the outlandish notion, heaven only
knows. The house was of her own choice, she was twice an heiress, and the world
lay open at her feet. Yet she stayed--unhappy, frightened, caught. All this
flashed over me, and made a sharp impression even before I had time to dismiss
it as absurd. But a moment later explanation offered itself, though it seemed
as far-fetched as the original impression. My mind, being logical, was obliged
to provide something, apparently. For Mrs. Franklyn, while dressed to go out,
with thick walking-boots, a pointed stick, and a motor-cap tied on with a veil
as for the windy lanes, was obviously content to go no farther than the little
garden paths. The costume was a sham and a pretence. It was this, and her
lithe, quick movements that suggested a caged creature--a creature tamed by
fear and cruelty that cloaked themselves in kindness--pacing up and down,
unable to realise why it got no farther, but always met the same bars in
exactly the same place. The mind in her was barred.
I watched her go along the paths and down the
steps from one terrace to another, until the laurels hid her altogether; and
into this mere imagining of a moment came a hint of something slightly
disagreeable, for which my mind, search as it would, found no explanation at
all. I remembered then certain other little things. They dropped into the
picture of their own accord. In a mind not deliberately hunting for clues,
pieces of a puzzle sometimes come together in this way, bringing revelation, so
that for a second there flashed across me, vanishing instantly again before I
could consider it, a large, distressing thought. I can only describe vaguely as
a Shadow.
Dark and ugly, oppressive certainly it might be
described, with something torn and dreadful about the edges that suggested pain
and strife and terror. The interior of a prison with two rows of occupied
condemned cells, seen years ago in New York, sprang to memory after it--the
connection between the two impossible to surmise even. But the 'certain other
little things' mentioned above were these: that Mrs. Franklyn, in last night's
dinner talk, had always referred to 'this house' but never called it 'home' and
had emphasised unnecessarily, for a well-bred woman, our 'great kindness' in
coming down to stay so long with her. Another time, in answer to my futile
compliment about the 'stately rooms,' she said quietly, 'It is an enormous
house for so small a party; but I stay here very little, and only till I get it
straight again.' The three of us were going up the great staircase to bed as
this was said, and, not knowing quite her meaning, I dropped the subject. It
edged delicate ground, I felt. Frances added no word of her own. It now
occurred to me abruptly that 'stay' was the word made use of, when 'live' would
have been more natural. How insignificant to recall! Yet why did they suggest
themselves just at this moment?.
And, on going to Frances's room to make sure she
was not nervous or lonely, I realised abruptly, that Mrs. Franklyn, of course,
had talked with her in a confidential sense that I, as a mere visiting brother,
could not share. Frances had told me nothing. I might easily have wormed it out
of her, had I not felt that for us to discuss further our hostess and her house
merely because we were under the roof together, was not quite nice or loyal.
'I'll call you, Bill, if I'm scared,' she had
laughed as we parted, my room being just across the big corridor from her own.
I had fallen asleep, thinking what in the world was meant by 'getting it
straight again.'
And now in my ante-chamber to the library, on
the second morning, sitting among piles of foolscap and sheets of spotless
blotting-paper, all useless to me, these slight hints came back and helped to
frame the big, vague Shadow I have mentioned. Up to the neck in this Shadow,
almost drowned, yet just treading water, stood the figure of my hostess in her
walking costume. Frances and I seemed swimming to her aid. The Shadow was large
enough to include both house and grounds, but farther than that I could not
see. Dismissing it, I fell to reading my purloined book again. Before I turned
another page, however, another startling detail leaped out at me: the figure of
Mrs. Franklyn in the Shadow was not living. It floated helplessly, like a doll
or puppet that has no life in it. It was both pathetic and dreadful.
Any one who sits in reverie thus, of course, may
see similar ridiculous pictures when the will no longer guides construction.
The incongruities of dreams are thus explained. I merely record the picture as
it came. That it remained by me for several days, just as vivid dreams do, is
neither here nor there. I did not allow myself to dwell upon it. The curious
thing, perhaps, is that from this moment I date my inclination, though not yet
my desire, to leave. I purposely say 'to leave.'
I cannot quite remember when the word changed to
that aggressive, frantic thing which is escape.
Chapter V
We were left delightfully to ourselves in this
pretentious country mansion with the soul of a villa. Frances took up her
painting again, and, the weather being propitious, spent hours out of doors,
sketching flowers, trees and nooks of woodland, garden, even the house itself
where bits of it peered suggestively across the orchards. Mrs. Franklyn seemed
always busy about something or other, and never interfered with us except to
propose motoring, tea in another part of the lawn, and so forth. She flitted
everywhere, preoccupied, yet apparently doing nothing. The house engulfed her
rather. No visitor called. For one thing, she was not supposed to be back from
abroad yet; and for another, I think, the neighbourhood--her husband's
neighbourhood--was puzzled by her sudden cessation from good works. Brigades
and temperance societies did not ask to hold their meetings in the big hall,
and the vicar arranged the school-treats in another's field without
explanation. The full-length portrait in the dining-room, and the presence of
the housekeeper with the 'burnt' backhair, indeed, were the only reminders of
the man who once had lived here. Mrs. Marsh retained her place in silence,
well-paid sinecure as it doubtless was, yet with no hint of that suppressed
disapproval one might have expected from her. Indeed there was nothing positive
to disapprove, since nothing 'worldly' entered grounds or building. In her
master's lifetime she had been another 'brand snatched from the burning,' and
it had then been her custom to give vociferous 'testimony' at the revival
meetings where he adorned the platform and led in streams of prayer. I saw her
sometimes on the stairs, hovering, wandering, half-watching and half-listening,
and the idea came to me once that this woman somehow formed a link with the
departed influence of her bigoted employer. She, alone among us, belonged to
the house, and looked at home there. When I saw her talking--oh, with such
correct and respectful mien--to Mrs. Franklyn, I had the feeling that for all
her unaggressive attitude, she yet exerted some influence that sought to make
her mistress stay in the building for ever--live there. She would prevent her
escape, prevent 'getting it straight again,' thwart somehow her will to
freedom, if she could. The idea in me was of the most fleeting kind. But
another time, when I came down late at night to get a book from the library
ante-chamber, and found her sitting in the hall--alone--the impression left
upon me was the reverse of fleeting. I can never forget the vivid, disagreeable
effect it produced upon me. What was she doing there at half-past eleven at
night, all alone in the darkness? She was sitting upright, stiff, in a big
chair below the clock. It gave me a turn. It was so incongruous and odd. She
rose quietly as I turned the corner of the stairs, and asked me respectfully,
her eyes cast down as usual, whether I had finished with the library, so that
she might lock up. There was no more to it than that; but the picture stayed
with me--unpleasantly.
These various impressions came to me at odd
moments, of course, and not in a single sequence as I now relate them. I was
hard at work before three days were past, not writing, as explained, but
reading, making notes, and gathering material from the library for future use.
It was in chance moments that these curious flashes came, catching me unawares
with a touch of surprise that sometimes made me start. For they proved that my
under-mind was still conscious of the Shadow, and that far away out of sight
lay the cause of it that left me with a vague unrest, unsettled, seeking to
'nest' in a place that did not want me. Only when this deeper part knows
harmony, perhaps, can good brain work result, and my inability to write was
thus explained.
Certainly, I was always seeking for something
here I could not find--an explanation that continually evaded me. Nothing but
these trivial hints offered themselves. Lumped together, however, they had the
effect of defining the Shadow a little. I became more and more aware of its
very real existence. And, if I have made little mention of Frances and my
hostess in this connection, it is because they contributed at first little or
nothing towards the discovery of what this story tries to tell. Our life was
wholly external, normal, quiet, and uneventful; conversation banal--Mrs.
Franklyn's conversation in particular. They said nothing that suggested
revelation.
Both were in this Shadow, and both knew that
they were in it, but neither betrayed by word or act a hint of interpretation.
They talked privately, no doubt, but of that I can report no details.
And so it was that, after ten days of a very
commonplace visit, I found myself looking straight into the face of a
Strangeness that defied capture at close quarters. 'There's something here that
never happens,' were the words that rose in my mind, 'and that's why none of us
can speak of it.'
And as I looked out of the window and watched
the vulgar blackbirds, with toes turned in, boring out their worms, I realised
sharply that even they, as indeed everything large and small in the house and
grounds, shared this strangeness, and were twisted out of normal appearance
because of it. Life, as expressed in the entire place, was crumpled, dwarfed,
emasculated. God's meanings here were crippled, His love of joy was stunted.
Nothing in the garden danced or sang.
There was hate in it. 'The Shadow,' my thought
hurried on to completion, 'is a manifestation of hate; and hate is the Devil.'
And then I sat back frightened in my chair, for I knew that I had partly found
the truth.
Leaving my books I went out into the open. The
sky was overcast, yet the day by no means gloomy, for a soft, diffused light
oozed through the clouds and turned all things warm and almost summery. But I
saw the grounds now in their nakedness because I understood. Hate means strife,
and the two together weave the robe that terror wears. Having no so-called
religious beliefs myself, nor belonging to any set of dogmas called a creed, I
could stand outside these feelings and observe. Yet they soaked into me
sufficiently for me to grasp sympathetically what others, with more cabined
souls (I flattered myself), might feel. That picture in the dining-room stalked
everywhere, hid behind every tree, peered down upon me from the peaked ugliness
of the bourgeois towers, and left the impress of its powerful hand upon every
bed of flowers. 'You must not do this, you must not do that,' went past me
through the air. 'You must not leave these narrow paths,' said the rigid iron
railings of black. 'You shall not walk here,' was written on the lawns. 'Keep
to the steps,' 'Don't pick the flowers; make no noise of laughter, singing,
dancing,' was placarded all over the rose-garden, and 'Trespassers will be--not
prosecuted but--destroyed' hung from the crest of monkey-tree and holly.
Guarding the ends of each artificial terrace stood gaunt, implacable policemen,
warders, gaolers. 'Come with us,' they chanted, 'or be damned eternally.'
I remember feeling quite pleased with myself
that I had discovered this obvious explanation of the prison-feeling the place
breathed out. That the posthumous influence of heavy old Samuel Franklyn might
be an inadequate solution did not occur to me. By 'getting the place straight
again,' his widow, of course, meant forgetting the glamour of fear and
foreboding his depressing creed had temporarily forced upon her; and Frances,
delicately-minded being, did not speak of it because it was the influence of
the man her friend had loved. I felt lighter; a load was lifted from me. 'To
trace the unfamiliar to the familiar,' came back a sentence I had read
somewhere, 'is to understand.' It was a real relief. I could talk with Frances
now, even with my hostess, no danger of treading clumsily. For the key was in
my hands. I might even help to dissipate the Shadow, 'to get it straight
again.' It seemed, perhaps, our long invitation was explained!
I went into the house laughing--at myself a
little. 'Perhaps after all the artist's outlook, with no hard and fast dogmas,
is as narrow as the others! How small humanity is! And why is there no possible
and true combination of all outlooks?'
The feeling of 'unsettling' was very strong in
me just then, in spite of my big discovery which was to clear everything up.
And at the moment I ran into Frances on the stairs, with a portfolio of
sketches under her arm.
It came across me then abruptly that, although
she had worked a great deal since we came, she had shown me nothing. It struck
me suddenly as odd, unnatural. The way she tried to pass me now confirmed my
new-born suspicion that--well, that her results were hardly what they ought to
be.
'Stand and deliver!' I laughed, stepping in
front of her. 'I've seen nothing you've done since you've been here, and as a
rule you show me all your things. I believe they are atrocious and degrading!'
Then my laughter froze.
She made a sly gesture to slip past me, and I
almost decided to let her go, for the expression that flashed across her face
shocked me. She looked uncomfortable and ashamed; the colour came and went a
moment in he cheeks, making me think of a child detected in some secret
naughtiness. It was almost fear.
'It's because they're not finished then?' I
said, dropping the tone of banter, 'or because they're too good for me to
understand?' For my criticism of painting, she told me, was crude and ignorant
sometimes. 'But you'll let me see them later, won't you?'
Frances, however, did not take the way of escape
I offered. She changed her mind. She drew the portfolio from beneath her arm
instead. 'You can see them if you really want to, Bill,' she said quietly, and
her tone reminded me of a nurse who says to a boy just grown out of childhood,
'you are old enough now to look upon horror and ugliness--only I don't advise
it.'
'I do want to,' I said, and made to go
downstairs with her. But, instead, she said in the same low voice as before,
'Come up to my room, we shall be undisturbed there.' So I guessed that she had
been on her way to show the paintings to our hostess, but did not care for us
all three to see them together. My mind worked furiously.
'Mabel asked me to do them,' she explained in a
tone of submissive horror, once the door was shut, 'in fact, she begged it of
me. You know how persistent she is in her quiet way. I--er--had to.'
She flushed and opened the portfolio on the
little table by the window, standing behind me as I turned the sketches
over-sketches of the grounds and trees and garden. In the first moment of 'inspection,
however, I did not take in clearly why my sister's sense of modesty had been
offended. For my attention flashed a second elsewhere. Another bit of the
puzzle had dropped into place, defining still further the nature of what I
called 'the Shadow.' Mrs. Franklyn, I now remembered, has suggested to me in
the library that I might perhaps write something about the place, and I had
taken it for one of her banal sentences and paid no further attention. I
realised now that it was said in earnest. She wanted our interpretations, as
expressed in our respective 'talents,' painting and writing. Her invitation was
explained. She left us to ourselves on purpose.
'I should like to tear them up,' Frances was
whispering behind me with a shudder, 'only I promised--' She hesitated a
moment.
'Promised not to?' I asked with a queer feeling
of distress, my eyes glued to the papers.
'Promised always to show them to her first,' she
finished so low I barely caught it.
I have no intuitive, immediate grasp of the
value of paintings; results come to me slowly, and though every one believes
his own judgment to be good, I dare not claim that mine is worth more than that
of any other layman, Frances had too often convicted me of gross ignorance and
error. I can only say that I examined these sketches with a feeling of
amazement that contained revulsion, if not actually horror and disgust. They
were outrageous. I felt hot for my sister, and it was a relief to know she had
moved across the room on some pretence or other, and did not examine them with
me. Her talent, of course, is mediocre, yet she has her moments of
inspiration--moments, that is to say, when a view of Beauty not normally her
own flames divinely through her. And these interpretations struck me forcibly
as being thus 'inspired'--not her own. They were uncommonly well done; they
were also atrocious. The meaning in them, however, was never more than hinted.
There the unholy skill and power came in: they suggested so abominably, leaving
most to the imagination. To find such significance in a bourgeois villa garden,
and to interpret it with such delicate yet legible certainty, was a kind of
symbolism that was sinister, even diabolical. The delicacy was her own, but the
point of view was another's.
And the word that rose in my mind was not the
gross description of 'impure,' but the more fundamental
qualification--'un-pure.'
In silence I turned the sketches over one by
one, as a boy hurries through the pages of an evil book lest he be caught.
'What does Mabel do with them?' I asked
presently in a low tone, as I neared the end. 'Does she keep them?'
'She makes notes about them in a book and then
destroys them,' was the reply from the end of the room. I heard a sigh of
relief. 'I'm glad you've seen them, Bill. I wanted you to--but was afraid to
show them. You understand?'
'I understand,' was my reply, though it was not
a question intended to be answered. All I understood really was that Mabel's
mind was as sweet and pure as my sister's, and that she had some good reason
for what she did. She destroyed the sketches, but first made notes! It was an
interpretation of the place she sought. Brother-like, I felt resentment,
though, that Frances should waste her time and talent, when she might be doing
work that she could sell. Naturally, I felt other things as well...
'Mabel pays me five guineas for each one,' I
heard. 'Absolutely insists.'
I stared at her stupidly a moment, bereft of
speech or wit. 'I must either accept, or go away,' she went on calmly, but a
little white. 'I've tried everything. There was a scene the third day I was
here--when I showed her my first result. I wanted to write to you, but
hesitated--'
'It's unintentional, then, on your part--forgive
my asking it, Frances, dear?' I blundered, hardly knowing what to think or say.
'Between the lines' of her letter came back to me. 'I mean, you make the
sketches in your ordinary way and--the result comes out of itself, so to
speak?'
She nodded, throwing her hands out like a Frenchman.
'We needn't keep the money for ourselves, Bill. We can give it away, but--I
must either accept or leave,' and she repeated the shrugging gesture. She sat
down on the chair facing me, staring helplessly at the carpet.
'You say there was a scene?' I went on
presently, 'She insisted?'
'She begged me to continue,' my sister replied
very quietly. 'She thinks--that is, she has an idea or theory that there's
something about the place--something she can't get at quite.' Frances stammered
badly. She knew I did not encourage her wild theories.
'Something she feels--yes,' I helped her, more
than curious.
'Oh, you know what I mean, Bill,' she said
desperately. 'That the place is saturated with some influence that she is
herself too positive or too stupid to interpret. She's trying to make herself
negative and receptive, as she calls it, but can't, of course, succeed. Haven't
you noticed how dull and impersonal and insipid she seems, as though she had no
personality? She thinks impressions will come to her that way. But they
don't--'
'Naturally.'
'So she's trying me--us--what she calls the
sensitive and impressionable artistic temperament. She says that until she is
sure exactly what this influence is, she can't fight it, turn it out, "get
the house straight", as she phrases it.
Remembering my own singular impressions, I felt
more lenient than I might otherwise have done. I tried to keep impatience out
of my voice.
'And this influence, what--whose is it?'
We used the pronoun that followed in the same
breath, for I answered my own question at the same moment as she did:
'His.' Our heads nodded involuntarily towards
the floor, the dining-room being directly underneath.
And my heart sank, my curiosity died away on the
instant; I felt bored. A commonplace haunted house was the last thing in the
world to amuse or interest me. The mere thought exasperated, with its
suggestions of imagination, overwrought nerves, hysteria, and the rest.
Mingled with my other feelings was certainly
disappointment. To see a figure or feel a 'presence,' and report from day to
day strange incidents to each other would be a form of weariness I could never
tolerate.
'But really, Frances,' I said firmly, after a
moment's pause, 'it's too far-fetched, this explanation. A curse, you know,
belongs to the ghost stories of early Victorian days.' And only my positive
conviction that there was something after all worth discovering, and that it
most certainly was not this, prevented my suggesting that we terminate our
visit forthwith, or as soon as we decently could. 'This is not a haunted house,
whatever it is,' I concluded somewhat vehemently, bringing my hand down upon
her odious portfolio.
My sister's reply revived my curiosity sharply.
'I was waiting for you to say that. Mabel says
exactly the same. He is in it--but it's something more than that alone,
something far bigger and more complicated.' Her sentence seemed to indicate the
sketches, and though I caught the inference I did not take it up, having no
desire to discuss them with her just them indeed, if ever.
I merely stared at her and listened. Questions,
I felt sure, would be of little use. It was better she should say her thought
in her own way.
'He is one influence, the most recent,' she went
on slowly, and always very calmly, 'but there are others--deeper layers, as it
were--underneath. If his were the only one, something would happen. But nothing
ever does happen. The others hinder and prevent--as though each were struggling
to predominate.'
I had felt it already myself. The idea was
rather horrible. I shivered.
'That's what is so ugly about it--that nothing
ever happens,' she said. 'There is this endless anticipation--always on the dry
edge of a result that never materialises. It is torture. Mabel is at her wits'
end, you see. And when she begged me--what I felt about my sketches--I mean--'
She stammered badly as before.
I stopped her. I had judged too hastily. That
queer symbolism in her paintings, pagan and yet not innocent, was, I
understood, the result of mixture. I did not pretend to understand, but at
least I could be patient. I consequently held my peace. We did talk on a little
longer, but it was more general talk that avoided successfully our hostess, the
paintings, wild theories, and him--until at length the emotion Frances had hitherto
so successfully kept under burst vehemently forth again.
It had hidden between her calm sentences, as it
had hidden between the lines of her letter. It swept her now from head to foot,
packed tight in the thing she then said.
'Then, Bill, if it is not an ordinary haunted
house,' she asked, 'what is it?'
The words were commonplace enough. The emotion
was in the tone of her voice that trembled; in the gesture she made, leaning
forward and clasping both hands upon her knees, and in the slight blanching of
her cheeks as her brave eyes asked the question and searched my own with
anxiety that bordered upon panic. In that moment she put herself under my
protection. I winced.
'And why,' she added, lowering her voice to a
still and furtive whisper, 'does nothing ever happen? If only,'--this with
great emphasis--'something would happen--break this awful tension--bring
relief. It's the waiting I cannot stand.' And she shivered all over as she said
it, a touch of wildness in her eyes.
I would have given much to have made a true and
satisfactory answer. My mind searched frantically for a moment, but in vain.
There lay no sufficient answer in me. I felt what she felt, though with
differences. No conclusive explanation lay within reach. Nothing happened.
Eager as I was to shoot the entire business into the rubbish heap where
ignorance and superstition discharge their poisonous weeds, I could not
honestly accomplish this. To treat Frances as a child, and merely 'explain
away' would be to strain her confidence in my protection, so affectionately
claimed. It would further be dishonest to myself--weak, besides--to deny that I
had also felt the strain and tension even as she did. While my mind continued
searching, I returned her stare in silence; and Frances then, with more honesty
and insight than my own, gave suddenly the answer herself--an answer whose
truth and adequacy, so far as they went, I could not readily gainsay:
'I think, Bill, because it is too big to happen
here--to happen anywhere, indeed, all at once--and too awful!'
To have tossed the sentence aside as nonsense,
argued it away, proved that it was really meaningless, would have been easy--at
any other time or in any other place; and, had the past week brought me none of
the vivid impressions it had brought me, this is doubtless what I should have
done. My narrowness again was proved. We understand in others only what we have
in ourselves. But her explanation, in a measure, I knew was true. It hinted at
the strife and struggle that my notion of a Shadow had seemed to cover thinly.
'Perhaps,' I murmured lamely, waiting in vain
for her to say more. 'But you said just now that you felt the thing was
"in layers", as it were. Do you mean each one--each
influence--fighting for the upper hand?'
I used her phraseology to conceal my own
poverty. Terminology, after all, was nothing, provided we could reach the idea
itself.
Her eyes said yes. She had her clear conception,
arrived at independently, as was her way.
And, unlike her sex, she kept it clear,
unsmothered by too many words.
'One set of influences gets at me, another gets
at you. It's according to our temperaments, I think.' She glanced significantly
at the vile portfolio. 'Sometimes they are mixed--and therefore false. There
has always been in me, more than in you, the pagan thing, perhaps, though
never, thank God, like that.'
The frank confession of course invited my own,
as it was meant to do. Yet it was difficult to find the words.
'What I have felt in this place, Frances, I
honestly can hardly tell you, because--er--my impressions have not arranged
themselves in any definite form I can describe. The strife, the agony of
vainly-sought escape, and the unrest--a sort of prison atmosphere--this I have
felt at different times and with varying degrees of strength. But I find, as
yet, no final label to attach. I couldn't say pagan, Christian, or anything
like that, I mean, as you do. As with the blind and deaf, you may have an
intensification of certain senses denied to me, or even another sense
altogether in embryo--'
'Perhaps,' she stopped me, anxious to keep to
the point, 'you feel it as Mabel does. She feels the whole thing complete.'
'That also is possible,' I said very slowly. I
was thinking behind my words. Her odd remark that it was 'big and awful' came
back upon me as true. A vast sensation of distress and discomfort swept me
suddenly. Pity was in it, and a fierce contempt, a savage, bitter anger as
well. Fury against some sham authority was part of it.
'Frances,' I said, caught unawares, and dropping
all pretence, 'what in the world can it be?' I looked hard at her. For some
minutes neither of us spoke.
'Have you felt no desire to interpret it?' she
asked presently, 'Mabel did suggest my writing something about the house,' was
my reply, 'but I've felt nothing imperative. That sort of writing is not my
line, you know. My only feeling,' I added, noticing that she waited for more,
'is the impulse to explain, discover, get it out of me somehow, and so get rid
of it. Not by writing, though--as yet.' And again I repeated my former
question:
'What in the world do you think it is?' My voice
had become involuntarily hushed. There was awe in it.
Her answer, given with slow emphasis, brought
back all my reserve: the phraseology provoked me rather:--'Whatever it is,
Bill, it is not of God.'
I got up to go downstairs. I believe I shrugged
my shoulders. 'Would you like to leave, Frances? Shall we go back to town?' I
suggested this at the door, and hearing no immediate reply, I turned back to
look. Frances was sitting with her head bowed over and buried in her hands. The
attitude horribly suggested tears. No woman, I realised, can keep back the
pressure of strong emotion as long as Frances had done, without ending in a
fluid collapse. I waited a moment uneasily, longing to comfort, yet afraid to
act--and in this way discovered the existence of the appalling emotion in
myself, hitherto but half guessed. At all costs a scene must be prevented: it
would involve such exaggeration and over-statement. Brutally, such is the
weakness of the ordinary man, I turned the handle to go out, but my sister then
raised her head. The sunlight caught her face, framed untidily in its auburn
hair, and I saw her wonderful expression with a start. Pity, tenderness and
sympathy shone in it like a flame. It was undeniable. There shone through all
her features the imperishable love and yearning to sacrifice self for others
which I have seen in only one type of human being. It was the great mother
look.
'We must stay by Mabel and help her get it
straight,' she whispered, making the decision for us both.
I murmured agreement. Abashed and half ashamed,
I stole softly from the room and went out into the grounds. And the first thing
clearly realised when alone was this: that the long scene between us was
without definite result. The exchange of confidence was really nothing but
hints and vague suggestion. We had decided to stay, but it was a negative
decision not to leave rather than a positive action. All our words and
questions, our guesses, inferences, explanations, our most subtle allusions and
insinuations, even the odious paintings themselves, were without definite
result. Nothing had happened.
Chapter VI
And instinctively, once alone, I made for the
places where she had painted her extraordinary pictures; I tried to see what
she had seen. Perhaps, now that she had opened my mind to another view, I
should be sensitive to some similar interpretation--and possibly by way of
literary expression. If I were to write about the place, I asked myself, how
should I treat it? I deliberately invited an interpretation in the way that
came easiest to me--writing.
But in this case there came no such revelation.
Looking closely at the trees and flowers, the bits of lawn and terrace, the
rose-garden and corner of the house where the flaming creeper hung so thickly,
I discovered nothing of the odious, unpure thing her colour and grouping had
unconsciously revealed. At first, that is, I discovered nothing. The reality
stood there, commonplace and ugly, side by side with her distorted version of
it that lay in my mind. It seemed incredible. I tried to force it, but in vain.
My imagination, ploughed less deeply than hers, or to another pattern, grew
different seed. Where I saw the gross soul of an overgrown suburban garden,
inspired by the spirit of a vulgar, rich revivalist who loved to preach
damnation, she saw this rush of pagan liberty and joy, this strange licence of
primitive flesh which, tainted by the other, produced the adulterated, vile
result.
Certain things, however, gradually then became
apparent, forcing themselves upon me, willy nilly. They came slowly, but
overwhelmingly. Not that facts had changed, or natural details altered in the
grounds--this was impossible--but that I noticed for the first time various
aspects I had not noticed before--trivial enough, yet for me, just then,
significant. Some I remembered from previous days; others I saw now as I
wandered to and fro, uneasy, uncomfortable,--almost, it seemed, watched by some
one who took note of my impressions. The details were so foolish, the total
result so formidable. I was half aware that others tried hard to make me see.
It was deliberate.
My sister's phrase, 'one layer got at me,
another gets at you,' flashed, undesired, upon me.
For I saw, as with the eyes of a child, what I
can only call a goblin garden--house, grounds, trees, and flowers belonged to a
goblin world that children enter through the pages of their fairy tales. And
what made me first aware of it was the whisper of the wind behind me, so that I
turned with a sudden start, feeling that something had moved closer. An old ash
tree, ugly and ungainly, had been artificially trained to form an arbour at one
end of the terrace that was a tennis lawn, and the leaves of it now went
rustling together, swishing as they rose and fell. I looked at the ash tree,
and felt as though I had passed that moment between doors into this goblin
garden that crouched behind the real one. Below, at a deeper layer perhaps, lay
hidden the one my sister had entered.
To deal with my own, however, I call it goblin,
because an odd aspect of the quaint in it yet never quite achieved the
picturesque. Grotesque, probably, is the truer word, for everywhere I noticed,
and for the first time, this slight alteration of the natural due either to the
exaggeration of some detail, or to its suppression, generally, I think, to the
latter. Life everywhere appeared to me as blocked from the full delivery of its
sweet and lovely message. Some counter influence stopped it--suppression; or
sent it awry--exaggeration. The house itself, mere expression, of course, of a
narrow, limited mind, was sheer ugliness; it required no further explanation.
With the grounds and garden, so far as shape and general plan were concerned,
this was also true; but that trees and flowers and other natural details should
share the same deficiency perplexed my logical soul, and even dismayed it. I
stood and stared, then moved about, and stood and stared again. Everywhere was
this mockery of a sinister, unfinished aspect. I sought in vain to recover my
normal point of view. My mind had found this goblin garden and wandered to and
fro in it, unable to escape.
The change was in myself, of course, and so
trivial were the details which illustrated it, that they sound absurd, thus
mentioned one by one. For me, they proved it, is all I can affirm. The goblin
touch lay plainly everywhere: in the forms of the trees, planted at neat
intervals along the lawns; in this twisted ash that rustled just behind me; in
the shadow of the gloomy wellingtonias, whose sweeping skirts obscured the
grass; but especially, I noticed, in the tops and crests of them. For here, the
delicate, graceful curves of last year's growth seemed to shrink back into
themselves. None of them pointed upwards. Their life had failed and turned
aside just when it should have become triumphant. The character of a tree
reveals itself chiefly at the extremities, and it was precisely here that they
all drooped and achieved this hint of goblin distortion--in the growth, that
is, of the last few years. What ought to have been fairy, joyful, natural, was
instead uncomely to the verge of the grotesque. Spontaneous expression was
arrested. My mind perceived a goblin garden, and was caught in it. The place
grimaced at me.
With the flowers it was similar, though far more
difficult to detect in detail for description. I saw the smaller vegetable
growth as impish, half-malicious. Even the terraces sloped ill, as though their
ends had sagged since they had been so lavishily constructed; their varying
angles gave a queerly bewildering aspect to their sequence that was unpleasant
to the eye. One might wander among their deceptive lengths and get lost--lost
among open terraces!--with the house quite close at hand. Unhomely seemed the
entire garden, unable to give repose, restlessness in it everywhere, almost
strife, and discord certainly.
Moreover, the garden grew into the house, the
house into the garden, and in both was this idea of resistance to the
natural--the spirit that says No to joy. All over it I was aware of the effort
to achieve another end, the struggle to burst forth and escape into free,
spontaneous expression that should be happy and natural, yet the effort for
ever frustrated by the weight of this dark shadow that rendered it abortive. Life
crawled aside into a channel that was a cul-de-sac, then turned horribly upon
itself. Instead of blossom and fruit, there were weeds. This approach of life I
was conscious of--then dismal failure. There was no fulfilment. Nothing
happened.
And so, through this singular mood, I came a
little nearer to understand the unpure thing that had stammered out into
expression through my sister's talent. For the unpure is merely negative; it
has no existence; it is but the cramped expression of what is true, stammering
its way brokenly over false boundaries that seek to limit and confine. Great,
full expression of anything is pure, whereas here was only the incomplete,
unfinished, and therefore ugly. There was a strife and pain and desire to
escape. I found myself shrinking from house and grounds as one shrinks from the
touch of the mentally arrested, those in whom life has turned awry. There was
almost mutilation in it.
Past items, too, now flocked to confirm this
feeling that I walked, liberty captured and half-maimed, in a monstrous garden.
I remembered days of rain that refreshed the countryside, but left these
grounds, cracked with the summer heat, unsatisfied and thirsty; and how the big
winds, that cleaned the woods and fields elsewhere, crawled here with difficulty
through the dense foliage that protected The Towers from the North and West and
East. They were ineffective, sluggish currents. There was no real wind. Nothing
happened. I began to realise--far more clearly than in my sister's fanciful
explanation about 'layers'--that here were many contrary influences at work,
mutually destructive of one another. House and grounds were not haunted merely;
they were the arena of past thinking and feeling, perhaps of terrible, impure
beliefs, each striving to suppress the others, yet no one of them achieving
supremacy because no one of them was strong enough, no one of them was true.
Each, moreover, tried to win me over, though only one was able to reach my mind
at all. For some obscure reason--possibly because my temperament had a natural
bias towards the grotesque--it was the goblin layer. With me, it was the line
of least resistance...
In my own thoughts this 'goblin garden'
revealed, of course, merely my personal interpretation. I felt now objectively
what long ago my mind had felt subjectively. My work, essential sign of
spontaneous life with me, had stopped dead; production had become impossible.
I stood now considerably closer to the cause of
this sterility. The Cause, rather, turned bolder, had stepped insolently nearer.
Nothing happened anywhere; house, garden, mind alike were barren, abortive,
torn by the strife of frustrated impulse, ugly, hateful, sinful. Yet behind it
all was still the desire of life--desire to escape--accomplish. Hope--an
intolerable hope--I became startlingly aware--crowned torture.
And, realising this, though in some part of me
where Reason lost her hold, there rose upon me then another and a darker thing
that caught me by the throat and made me shrink with a sense of revulsion that
touched actual loathing. I knew instantly whence it came, this wave of
abhorrence and disgust, for even while I saw red and felt revolt rise in me, it
seemed that I grew partially aware of the layer next below the goblin. I
perceived the existence of this deeper stratum. One opened the way for the
other, as it were. There were so many, yet all inter-related; to admit one was
to clear the way for all. If I lingered I should be caught--horribly. They
struggled with such violence for supremacy among themselves, however, that this
latest uprising was instantly smothered and crushed back, though not before a
glimpse had been revealed to me, and the redness in my thoughts transferred
itself to colour my surroundings thickly and appallingly--with blood. This
lurid aspect drenched the garden, smeared the terraces, lent to the very soil a
tinge as of sacrificial rites, that choked the breath in me, while it seemed to
fix me to the earth my feet so longed to leave. It was so revolting that at the
same time I felt a dreadful curiosity as of fascination--I wished to stay.
Between these contrary impulses I think I actually reeled a moment, transfixed
by a fascination of the Awful. Through the lighter goblin veil I felt myself
sinking down, down, down into this turgid layer that was so much more violent
and so much more ancient. The upper layer, indeed, seemed fairy by comparison
with this terror born of the lust for blood, thick with the anguish of human
sacrificial victims.
Upper! Then I was already sinking; my feet were
caught; I was actually in it! What atavistic strain, hidden deep within me, had
been touched into vile response, giving this flash of intuitive comprehension,
I cannot say. The coatings laid on by civilisation are probably thin enough in
all of us. I made a supreme effort. The sun and wind came back. I could almost
swear I opened my eyes. Something very atrocious surged back into the depths,
carrying with it a thought of tangled woods, of big stones standing in a
circle, motionless, white figures, the one form bound with ropes, and the
ghastly gleam of the knife. Like smoke upon a battlefield, it rolled away...
I was standing on the gravel path below the
second terrace when the familiar goblin garden danced back again, doubly
grotesque now, doubly mocking, yet, by way of contrast, almost welcome. My
glimpse into the depths was momentary, it seems, and had passed utterly away.
The common world rushed back with a sense of
glad relief, yet ominous now for ever, I felt, for the knowledge of what its
past had built upon. In street, in theatre, in the festivities of friends, in
music-room or playing-field, even indeed in church--how could the memory of
what I had seen and felt leave its hideous trace? The very structure of my
Thought, it seemed to me, was stained.
What has been thought by others can never be
obliterated until...
With a start my reverie broke and fled,
scattered by a violent sound that I recognised for the first time in my life as
wholly desirable. The returning motor meant that my hostess was back.
Yet, so urgent had been my temporary obsession,
that my first presentation of her was--well, not as I knew her now. Floating
along with a face of anguished torture I saw Mabel, a mere effigy captured by
others' thinking, pass down into those depths of fire and blood that only just
had closed beneath my feet. She dipped away. She vanished, her fading eyes
turned to the last towards some saviour who had failed her. And that strange
intolerable hope was in her face.
The mystery of the place was pretty thick about
me just then. It was the fall of dusk, and the ghost of slanting sunshine was
as unreal as though badly painted. The garden stood at attention all about me.
I cannot explain it, but I can tell it, I think, exactly as it happened, for it
remains vivid in me for ever--that, for the first time, something almost
happened, myself apparently the combining link through which it pressed towards
delivery:
I had already turned towards the house. In my
mind were pictures--not actual thoughts--of the motor, tea on the verandah, my
sister, Mabel--when there came behind me this tumultuous, awful rush--as I left
the garden. The ugliness, the pain, the striving to escape, the whole negative
and suppressed agony that was the Place, focused that second into a
concentrated effort to produce a result. It was a blinding tempest of
long-frustrated desire that heaved at me, surging appallingly behind me like an
anguished mob. I was in the act of crossing the frontier into my normal self
again, when it came, catching fearfully at my skirts. I might use an entire
dictionary of descriptive adjectives yet come no nearer to it than this--the
conception of a huge assemblage determined to escape with me, or to snatch me
back among themselves. My legs trembled for an instant, and I caught my breath--then
turned and ran as fast as possible up the ugly terraces.
At the same instant, as though the clanging of
an iron gate cut short the unfinished phrase, I thought the beginning of an
awful thing:
'The Damned...'
Like this it rushed after me from that goblin
garden that had sought to keep me:
'The Damned!'
For there was sound in it. I know full well it
was subjective, not actually heard at all; yet somehow sound was in it--a great
volume, roaring and booming thunderously, far away, and below me. The sentence
dipped back into the depths that gave it birth, unfinished. Its completion was
prevented. As usual, nothing happened. But it drove behind me like a hurricane
as I ran towards the house, and the sound of it I can only liken to those
terrible undertones you may hear standing beside Niagara. They lie behind the
mere crash of the falling flood, within it somehow, not audible to all--felt
rather than definitely heard.
It seemed to echo back from the surface of those
sagging terraces as I flew across their sloping ends, for it was somehow
underneath them. It was in the rustle of the wind that stirred the skirts of
the drooping wellingtonias. The beds of formal flowers passed it on to the
creepers, red as blood, that crept over the unsightly building. Into the
structure of the vulgar and forbidding house it sank away; The Towers took it
home. The uncomely doors and windows seemed almost like mouths that had uttered
the words themselves, and on the upper floors at that very moment I saw two
maids in the act of closing them again.
And on the verandah, as I arrived breathless,
and shaken in my soul, Frances and Mabel, standing by the tea-table, looked up
to greet me. In the faces of both were clearly legible the signs of shock. They
watched me coming, yet so full of their own distress that they hardly noticed
the state in which I came. In the face of my hostess, however, I read another
and a bigger thing than in the face of Frances. Mabel knew. She had experienced
what I had experienced. She had heard that awful sentence I had heard but heard
it not for the first time; heard it, moreover, I verily believe, complete and
to its dreadful end.
'Bill, did you hear that curious noise just
now?' Frances asked it sharply before I could say a word. Her manner was
confused; she looked straight at me; and there was a tremor in her voice she
could not hide.
'There's wind about,' I said, 'wind in the trees
and sweeping round the walls. It's risen rather suddenly.' My voice faltered
rather.
'No. It wasn't wind,' she insisted, with a
significance meant for me alone, but badly hidden. 'It was more like distant
thunder, we thought. How you ran too!' she added. 'What a pace you came across
the terraces!'
I knew instantly from the way she said it that
they both had already heard the sound before and were anxious to know if I had
heard it, and how. My interpretation was what they sought.
'It was a curiously deep sound, I admit. It may
have been big guns at sea,' I suggested, 'forts or cruisers practising. The
coast isn't so very far, and with the wind in the right direction--'
The expression on Mabel's face stopped me dead.
'Like huge doors closing,' she said softly in
her colourless voice, 'enormous metal doors shutting against a mass of people
clamouring to get out.' The gravity, the note of hopelessness in her tones, was
shocking.
Frances had gone into the house the instant
Mabel began to speak. 'I'm cold,' she had said; 'I think I'll get a shawl.'
Mabel and I were alone. I believe it was the first time we had been really
alone since I arrived. She looked up from the teacups, fixing her pallid eyes
on mine. She had made a question of the sentence.
'You hear it like that?' I asked innocently. I
purposely used the present tense.
She changed her stare from one eye to the other;
it was absolutely expressionless. My sister's step sounded on the floor of the
room behind us.
'If only--' Mabel began, then stopped, and my
own feelings leaping out instinctively completed the sentence I felt was in her
mind:
'--something would happen.'
She instantly corrected me. I had caught her
thought, yet somehow phrased it wrongly.
'We could escape!' She lowered her tone a
little, saying it hurriedly. The 'we' amazed and horrified me; but something in
her voice and manner struck me utterly dumb. There was ice and terror in it. It
was a dying woman speaking--a lost and hopeless soul.
In that atrocious moment I hardly noticed what
was said exactly, but I remember that my sister returned with a grey shawl
about her shoulders, and that Mabel said, in her ordinary voice again, 'It is
chilly, yes; let's have tea inside,' and that two maids, one of them the
grenadier, speedily carried the loaded trays into the morning-room and put a
match to the logs in the great open fireplace. It was, after all, foolish to
risk the sharp evening air, for dusk was falling steadily, and even the
sunshine of the day just fading could not turn autumn into summer. I was the
last to come in. Just as I left the verandah a large black bird swooped down in
front of me past the pillars; it dropped from overhead, swerved abruptly to one
side as it caught sight of me, and flapped heavily towards the shrubberies on
the left of the terraces, where it disappeared into the gloom. It flew very
low, very close. And it startled me, I think because in some way it seemed like
my Shadow materialised--as though the dark horror that was rising everywhere
from house and garden, then settling back so thickly yet so imperceptibly upon
us all, were incarnated in that whirring creature that passed between the daylight
and the coming night.
I stood a moment, wondering if it would appear
again, before I followed the others indoors, and as I was in the act of closing
the windows after me, I caught a glimpse of a figure on the lawn. It was some
distance away, on the other side of the shrubberies, in fact where the bird had
vanished. But in spite of the twilight that half magnified, half obscured it,
the identity was unmistakable. I knew the housekeeper's stiff walk too well to
be deceived. 'Mrs. Marsh taking the air,' I said to myself. I felt the
necessity of saying it, and I wondered why she was doing so at this particular
hour. If I had other thoughts they were so vague, and so quickly and utterly
suppressed, that I cannot recall them sufficiently to relate them here.
And, once indoors, it was to be expected that
there would come explanation, discussion, conversation, at any rate, regarding
the singular noise and its cause, some uttered evidence of the mood that had
been strong enough to drive us all inside. Yet there was none. Each of us
purposely, and with various skill, ignored it. We talked little, and when we
did it was of anything in the world but that. Personally, I experienced a touch
of that same bewilderment which had come over me during my first talk with Frances
on the evening of my arrival, for I recall now the acute tension, and the hope,
yet dread, that one or other of us must sooner or later introduce the subject.
It did not happen, however; no reference was made to it even remotely. It was
the presence of Mabel, I felt positive, that prohibited. As soon might we have
discussed Death in the bedroom of a dying woman.
The only scrap of conversation I remember, where
all was ordinary and commonplace, was when Mabel spoke casually to the
grenadier asking why Mrs. Marsh had omitted to do something or other--what it
was I forget--and that the maid replied respectfully that 'Mrs. Marsh was very
sorry, but her 'and still pained her.' I enquired, though so casually that I
scarcely know what prompted the words, whether she had injured herself
severely, and the reply, 'She upset a lamp and burnt herself,' was said in a
tone that made me feel my curiosity was indiscreet, 'but she always has an
excuse for not doing things she ought to do.' The little bit of conversation remained
with me, and I remember particularly the quick way Frances interrupted and
turned the talk upon the delinquencies of servants in general, telling
incidents of her own at our flat with a volubility that perhaps seemed forced,
and that certainly did not encourage general talk as it may have been intended
to do. We lapsed into silence immediately she finished.
But for all our care and all our calculated
silence, each knew that something had, in these last moments, come very close;
it had brushed us in passing; it had retired; and I am inclined to think now
that the large dark thing I saw, riding the dusk, probably bird of prey, was in
some sense a symbol of it in my mind--that actually there had been no bird at
all, I mean, but that my mood of apprehension and dismay had formed the vivid
picture in my thoughts. It had swept past us, it had retreated, but it was now,
at this moment, in hiding very close. And it was watching us.
Perhaps, too, it was mere coincidence that I
encountered Mrs. Marsh, his housekeeper, several times that evening in the
short interval between tea and dinner, and that on each occasion the sight of
this gaunt, half-saturnine woman fed my prejudice against her. Once, on my way
to the telephone, I ran into her just where the passage is somewhat jammed by a
square table carrying the Chinese gong, a grandfather's clock and a box of
croquet mallets. We both gave way, then both advanced, then again gave
way--simultaneously. It seemed, impossible to pass. We stepped with decision to
the same side, finally colliding in the middle, while saying those futile
little things, half apology, half excuse, that are inevitable at such times. In
the end she stood upright against the wall for me to pass, taking her place
against the very door I wished to open. It was ludicrous.
'Excuse me--I was just going in--to telephone,'
I explained. And she sidled off, murmuring apologies, but opening the door for
me while she did so. Our hands met a moment on the handle.
There was a second's awkwardness--it was too stupid.
I remembered her injury, and by way of something to say, I enquired after it.
She thanked me; it was entirely healed now, but it might have been much worse;
and there was something about the 'mercy of the Lord' that I didn't quite
catch. While telephoning, however--a London call, and my attention focused on
it--I realised sharply that this was the first time I had spoken with her;
also, that I had--touched her.
It happened to be a Sunday, and the lines were
clear. I got my connection quickly, and the incident was forgotten while my
thoughts went up to London. On my way upstairs, then, the woman came back into
my mind, so that I recalled other things about her--how she seemed all over the
house, in unlikely places often; how I had caught her sitting in the hall alone
that night; how she was for ever coming and going with her lugubrious visage
and that untidy hair at the back that had made me laugh three years ago with
the idea that it looked singed or burnt; and how the impression on my first
arrival at The Towers was that this woman somehow kept alive, though its
evidence was outwardly suppressed, the influence of her late employer and of
his sombre teachings. Somewhere with her was associated the idea of punishment,
vindictiveness, revenge. I remembered again suddenly my odd notion that she
sought to keep her present mistress here, a prisoner in this bleak and
comfortless house, and that really, in spite of her obsequious silence, she was
intensely opposed to the change of thought that had reclaimed Mabel to a
happier view of life.
All this in a passing second flashed in review
before me, and I discovered, or at any rate reconstructed, the real Mrs. Marsh.
She was decidedly in the Shadow. More, she stood in the forefront of it,
stealthily leading an assault, as it were, against The Towers and its
occupants, as though, consciously or unconsciously, she laboured incessantly to
this hateful end.
I can only judge that some state of nervousness
in me permitted the series of insignificant thoughts to assume this dramatic
shape, and that what had gone before prepared the way and led her up at the
head of so formidable a procession. I relate it exactly as it came to me. My
nerves were doubtless somewhat on edge by now. Otherwise I should hardly have
been a prey to the exaggeration at all. I seemed open to so many strange,
impressions.
Nothing else, perhaps, can explain my ridiculous
conversation with her, when, for the third time that evening, I came suddenly
upon the woman half-way down the stairs, standing by an open window as if in
the act of listening. She was dressed in black, a black shawl over her square
shoulders and black gloves on her big, broad hands. Two black objects,
prayerbooks apparently, she clasped, and on her head she wore a bonnet with
shaking beads of jet. At first I did not know her, as I came running down upon
her from the landing; it was only when she stood aside to let me pass that I
saw her profile against the tapestry and recognised Mrs. Marsh. And to catch
her on the front stairs, dressed like this, struck me as
incongruous--impertinent. I paused in my dangerous descent. Through the opened
window came the sound of bells--church bells--a sound more depressing to me
than superstition, and as nauseating. Though the action was ill-judged, I obeyed
the sudden prompting--was it a secret desire to attack, perhaps?--and spoke to
her.
'Been to church, I suppose, Mrs. Marsh?' I said.
'Or just going, perhaps?'
Her face, as she looked up a second to reply,
was like an iron doll that moved its lips and turned its eyes, but made no
other imitation of life at all.
'Some of us still goes, sir,' she said
unctuously.
It was respectful enough, yet the implied
judgment of the rest of the world made me almost angry. A deferential insolence
lay behind the affected meekness.
'For those who believe no doubt it is helpful,'
I smiled. 'True religion brings peace and happiness, I'm sure--joy, Mrs. Marsh,
joy!' I found keen satisfaction in the emphasis.
She looked at me like a knife. I cannot describe
the implacable thing that shone in her fixed, stern eyes, nor the shadow of
felt darkness that stole across her face. She glittered. I felt hate in her. I
knew--she knew too--who was in the thoughts of us both at that moment.
She replied softly, never forgetting her place
for an instant:
'There is joy, sir--in 'eaven--over one sinner
that repenteth, and in church there goes up prayer to Gawd for those 'oo--well,
for the others, sir, 'oo--'
She cut short her sentence thus. The gloom about
her as she said it was like the gloom about a hearse, a tomb, a darkness of
great hopeless dungeons. My tongue ran on of itself with a kind of bitter
satisfaction:
'We must believe there are no others, Mrs.
Marsh. Salvation, you know, would be such a failure if there were. No merciful,
all-foreseeing God could ever have devised such a fearful plan--'
Her voice, interrupting me, seemed to rise out
of the bowels of the earth:
'They rejected the salvation when it was offered
to them, sir, on earth.'
'But you wouldn't have them tortured for ever
because of one mistake in ignorance,' I said, fixing her with my eye. 'Come
now, would you, Mrs. Marsh? No God worth worshipping could permit such cruelty.
Think a moment what it means.'
She stared at me, a curious expression in her
stupid eyes. It seemed to me as though the 'woman' in her revolted, while yet
she dared not suffer her grim belief to trip. That is, she would willingly have
had it otherwise but for a terror that prevented.
'We may pray for them, sir, and we do--we may
'ope.' She dropped her eyes to the carpet.
'Good, good!' I put in cheerfully, sorry now
that I had spoken at all. 'That's more hopeful, at any rate isn't it?'
She murmured something about Abraham's bosom,
and the 'time of salvation not being for ever,' as I tried to pass her. Then a
half gesture that she made stopped me. There was something more she wished to
say--to ask. She looked up furtively. In her eyes I saw the 'woman' peering out
through fear.
'Per'aps, sir,' she faltered, as though
lightning must strike her dead, 'per'aps, would you think, a drop of cold
water, given in His name, might moisten--?'
But I stopped her, for the foolish talk had
lasted long enough. 'Of course,' I exclaimed, 'of course. For God is love,
remember, and love means charity, tolerance, sympathy, and sparing others
pain,' and I hurried past her, determined to end the outrageous conversation
for which yet I knew myself entirely to blame. Behind me, she stood stock-still
for several minutes, half bewildered, half alarmed, as I suspected. I caught
the fragment of another sentence, one word of it, rather--'punishment'--but the
rest escaped me. Her arrogance and condescending tolerance exasperated me,
while I was at the same time secretly pleased that I might have touched some
string of remorse or sympathy in her after all. Her belief was iron; she dared
not let it go; yet somewhere underneath there lurked the germ of a wholesome
revulsion. She would help 'them'--if she dared. Her question proved it.
Half ashamed of myself, I turned and crossed the
hall quickly lest I should be tempted to say more, and in me was a disagreeable
sensation as though I had just left the Incurable Ward of some great hospital.
A reaction caught me as of nausea. Ugh! I wanted such people cleansed by fire.
They seemed to me as centres of contamination whose vicious thoughts flowed out
to stain God's glorious world. I saw myself, Frances, Mabel too especially, on
the rack, while that odious figure of cruelty and darkness stood over us and
ordered the awful handles turned in order that we might be 'saved'--forced,
that is, to think and believe exactly as she thought and believed.
I found relief for my somewhat childish
indignation by letting myself loose upon the organ then. The flood of Bach and
Beethoven brought back the sense of proportion. It proved, however, at the same
time that there had been this growth of distortion in me, and that it had been
provided apparently by my closer contact--for the first time--with that
funereal personality, the woman who, like her master, believed that all holding
views of God that differed from her own, must be damned eternally. It gave me,
moreover, some faint clue perhaps, though a clue I was unequal of following up,
to the nature of the strife and terror and frustrate influence in the house.
That housekeeper had to do with it. She kept it alive. Her thought was like a
spell she waved above her mistress's head.
Chapter VII
That night I was wakened by a hurried tapping at
my door, and before I could answer, Frances stood beside my bed. She had
switched on the light as she came in. Her hair fell straggling over her
dressing-gown. Her face was deathly pale, its expression so distraught it was
almost haggard.
The eyes were very wide. She looked almost like
another woman.
She was whispering at a great pace: 'Bill, Bill,
wake up, quick!'
'I am awake. What is it?' I whispered too. I was
startled.
'Listen!' was all she said. Her eyes stared into
vacancy.
There was not a sound in the great house. The
wind had dropped, and all was still. Only the tapping seemed to continue
endlessly in my brain. The clock on the mantelpiece pointed to half-past two.
'I heard nothing, Frances. What is it?' I rubbed
my eyes; I had been very deeply asleep.
'Listen!' she repeated very softly, holding up
one finger and turning her eyes towards the door she had left ajar. Her usual
calmness had deserted her. She was in the grip of some distressing terror.
For a full minute we held our breath and
listened. Then her eyes rolled round again and met my own, and her skin went
even whiter than before.
'It woke me,' she said beneath her breath, and
moving a step nearer to my bed. 'It was the Noise.' Even her whisper trembled.
'The Noise!' The word repeated itself dully of
its own accord. I would rather it had been anything in the world but
that--earthquake, foreign cannon, collapse of the house above our heads! 'The
Noise, Frances I Are you sure?' I was playing really for a little time.
'It was like thunder. At first I thought it was
thunder. But a minute later it came again--from underground. It's appalling.'
She muttered the words, her voice not properly under control.
There was a pause of perhaps a minute, and then
we both spoke at once. We said foolish, obvious things that neither of us
believed in for a second. The roof had fallen in, there were burglars
downstairs, the safes had been blown open. It was to comfort each other as
children do that we said these things; also it was to gain further time.
'There's some one in the house, of course,' I
heard my voice say finally, as I sprang out of bed and hurried into
dressing-gown and slippers. 'Don't be alarmed. I'll go down and see,' and from
the drawer I took a pistol it was my habit to carry everywhere with me. I
loaded it carefully while Frances stood stock-still beside the bed and watched.
I moved towards the open door.
'You stay here, Frances,' I whispered, the
beating of my heart making the words uneven, 'while I go down and make a
search. Lock yourself in, girl. Nothing can happen to you. It was downstairs, you
said?'
'Underneath,' she answered faintly, pointing
through the floor.
She moved suddenly between me and the door.
'Listen! Hark!' she said, the eyes in her face
quite fixed; 'it's coming again,' and she turned her head to catch the
slightest sound. I stood there watching her, and while I watched her, shook.
But nothing stirred. From the halls below rose
only the whirr and quiet ticking of the numerous clocks. The blind by the open
window behind us flapped out a little into the room as the draught caught it.
'I'll come with you, Bill--to the next floor,'
she broke the silence. 'Then I'll stay with Mabel--till you come up again.' The
blind sank down with a long sigh as she said it.
The question jumped to my lips before I could
repress it:
'Mabel is awake. She heard it too?'
I hardly know why horror caught me at her
answer. All was so vague and terrible as we stood there playing the great game
of this sinister house where nothing ever happened.
'We met in the passage. She was on her way to
me.'
What shook in me, shook inwardly. Frances, I
mean, did not see it. I had the feeling just that the Noise was upon us, that
any second it would boom and roar about our ears. But the deep silence held. I
only heard my sister's little whisper coming across the room in answer to my
question:
'Then what is Mabel doing now?'
And her reply proved that she was yielding at
last beneath the dreadful tension, for she spoke at once, unable longer to keep
up the pretence. With a kind of relief, as it were, she said it out, looking helplessly
at me like a child:
'She is weeping and gna--'
My expression must have stopped her. I believe I
clapped both hands upon her mouth, though when I realised things clearly again,
I found they were covering my own ears instead. It was a moment of unutterable
horror. The revulsion I felt was actually physical. It would have given me
pleasure to fire off all the five chambers of my pistol into the air above my
head; the sound--a definite, wholesome sound that explained itself--would have
been a positive relief. Other feelings, though, were in me too, all over me,
rushing to and fro. It was vain to seek their disentanglement; it was
impossible. I confess that I experienced, among them, a touch of paralysing
fear--though for a moment only; it passed as sharply as it came, leaving me
with a violent flush of blood to the face such as bursts of anger bring,
followed abruptly by an icy perspiration over the entire body. Yet I may
honestly avow that it was not ordinary personal fear I felt, nor any common dread
of physical injury. It was, rather, a vast, impersonal shrinking--a sympathetic
shrinking--from the agony and terror that countless others, somewhere, somehow,
felt for themselves. The first sensation of a prison overwhelmed me in that
instant, of bitter strife and frenzied suffering, and the fiery torture of the
yearning to escape that was yet hopelessly uttered...It was of incredible
power. It was real. The vain, intolerable hope swept over me.
I mastered myself, though hardly knowing how,
and took my sister's hand. It was as cold as ice, as I led her firmly to the
door and out into the passage. Apparently she noticed nothing of my so near
collapse, for I caught her whisper as we went. 'You are brave, Bill; splendidly
brave.'
The upper corridors of the great sleeping house
were brightly lit; on her way to me she had turned on every electric switch her
hand could reach; and as we passed the final flight of stairs to the floor
below, I heard a door shut softly and knew that Mabel had been
listening--waiting for us. I led my sister up to it. She knocked, and the door
was opened cautiously an inch or so. The room was pitch black. I caught no
glimpse of Mabel standing there. Frances turned to me with a hurried whisper,
'Billy, you will be careful, won't you?' and went in. I just had time to answer
that I would not be long, and Frances to reply, 'You'll find us here' when the
door closed and cut her sentence short before its end.
But it was not alone the closing door that took
the final words. Frances--by the way she disappeared I knew it--had made a
swift and violent movement into the darkness that was as though she sprang. She
leaped upon that other woman who stood back among the shadows, for,
simultaneously with the clipping of the sentence, another sound was also
stopped--stifled, smothered, choked back lest I should also hear it. Yet not in
time. I heard it--a hard and horrible sound that explained both the leap and
the abrupt cessation of the whispered words.
I stood irresolute a moment. It was as though
all the bones had been withdrawn from my body, so that I must sink and fall.
That sound plucked them out, and plucked out my self-possession with them. I am
not sure that it was a sound I had ever heard before, though children, I half
remembered, made it sometimes in blind rages when they knew not what they did.
In a grown-up person certainly I had never known it. I associated it with
animals rather--horribly. In the history of the world, no doubt, it has been
common enough, alas, but fortunately to-day there can be but few who know it,
or would recognise it even when heard. The bones shot back into my body the
same instant, but red-hot and burning; the brief instant of irresolution
passed; I was torn between the desire to break down the door and enter, and to
run--run for my life from a thing I dared not face.
Out of the horrid tumult, then, I adopted
neither course. Without reflection, certainly without analysis of what was best
to do for my sister, myself or Mabel, I took up my action where it had been
interrupted. I turned from the awful door and moved slowly towards the head of
the stairs.
But that dreadful little sound came with me. I
believe my own teeth chattered. It seemed all over the house--in the empty
halls that opened into the long passages towards the music-room, and even in
the grounds outside the building. From the lawns and barren garden, from the
ugly terraces themselves, it rose into the night, and behind it came a curious
driving sound, incomplete, unfinished, as of wailing for deliverance, the
wailing of desperate souls in anguish, the dull and dry beseeching of hopeless
spirits in prison.
That I could have taken the little sound from
the bedroom where I actually heard it, and spread it thus over the entire house
and grounds, is evidence, perhaps, of the state my nerves were in.
The wailing assuredly was in my mind alone. But
the longer I hesitated, the more difficult became my task, and, gathering up my
dressing-gown, lest I should trip in the darkness, I passed slowly down the
staircase into the hall below. I carried neither candle nor matches; every
switch in room and corridor was known to me. The covering of darkness was
indeed rather comforting than otherwise, for if it prevented seeing, it also
prevented being seen. The heavy pistol, knocking against my thigh as I moved,
made me feel I was carrying a child's toy, foolishly. I experienced in every
nerve that primitive vast dread which is the Thrill of darkness. Merely the
child in me was comforted by that pistol.
The night was not entirely black; the iron bars
across the glass front door were visible, and, equally, I discerned the big,
stiff wooden chairs in the hall, the gaping fireplace, the upright pillars
supporting the staircase, the round table in the centre with its books and
flower-vases, and the basket that held visitors' cards. There, too, was the
stick and umbrella stand and the shelf with railway guides, directory, and
telegraph forms. Clocks ticked everywhere with sounds like quiet footfalls.
Light fell here and there in patches from the floor above. I stood a moment in
the hall, letting my eyes grow more accustomed to the gloom, while deciding on
a plan of search. I made out the ivy trailing outside over one of the big
windows...and then the tall clock by the front door made a grating noise deep
down inside its body--it was the Presentation clock, large and hideous, given
by the congregation of his church--and, dreading the booming strike it seemed
to threaten, I made a quick decision. If others beside myself were about in the
night, the sound of that striking might cover their approach.
So I tiptoed to the right, where the passage led
towards the dining-room. In the other direction were the morning-and
drawing-rooms, both little used, and various other rooms beyond that had been
his, generally now kept locked. I thought of my sister, waiting upstairs with
that frightened woman for my return. I went quickly, yet stealthily.
And, to my surprise, the door of the dining-room
was open. It had been opened. I paused on the threshold, staring about me. I
think I fully expected to see a figure blocked in the shadows against the heavy
sideboard, or looming on the other side beneath his portrait. But the room was
empty; I felt it empty. Through the wide bow-windows that gave on to the
verandah came an uncertain glimmer that even shone reflected in the polished
surface of the dinner-table, and again I perceived the stiff outline of chairs,
waiting tenantless all round it, two larger ones with high carved backs at either
end. The monkey-trees on the upper terrace, too, were visible outside against
the sky, and the solemn crests of the wellingtonias on the terraces below. The
enormous dock on the mantelpiece ticked very slowly, as though its machinery
were running down, and I made out the pale round patch that was its face.
Resisting my first inclination to turn the lights up--my hand had gone so far
as to finger the friendly knob--I crossed the room so carefully that no single
board creaked, nor a single chair, as I rested a hand upon its back, moved on
the parquet flooring. I turned neither to the right nor left, nor did I once
look back.
I went towards the long corridor filled with
priceless objets d'art, that led through various antechambers into the spacious
music-room, and only at the mouth of this corridor did I next halt a moment in
uncertainty. For this long corridor, lit faintly by high windows on the left
from the verandah, was very narrow, owing to the mass of shelves and fancy
tables it contained. It was not that I feared to knock over precious things as
I went, but, that, because of its ungenerous width, there would be no room to
pass another person--if I met one. And the certainty had suddenly come upon me
that somewhere in this corridor another person at this actual moment stood.
Here, somehow, amid all this dead atmosphere of furniture and impersonal
emptiness, lay the hint of a living human presence; and with such conviction
did it come upon me, that my hand instinctively gripped the pistol in my pocket
before I could even think. Either some one had passed along this corridor just
before me, or some one lay waiting at its farther end--withdrawn or flattened
into one of the little recesses, to let me pass. It was the person who had
opened the door. And the blood ran from my heart as I realised it.
It was not courage that sent me on, but rather a
strong impulsion from behind that made it impossible to retreat: the feeling
that a throng pressed at my back, drawing nearer and nearer; that I was already
half surrounded, swept, dragged, coaxed into a vast prison-house where there
was wailing and gnashing of teeth, where their worm dieth not and their fire is
not quenched. I can neither explain nor justify the storm of irrational emotion
that swept me as I stood in that moment, staring down the length of the silent
corridor towards the music-room at the far end, I can only repeat that no
personal bravery sent me down it, but that the negative emotion of fear was
swamped in this vast sea of pity and commiseration for others that surged upon
me.
My senses, at least, were no whit confused; if
anything, my brain registered impressions with keener accuracy than usual. I
noticed, for instance, that the two swinging doors of baize that cut the
corridor into definite lengths, making little rooms of the spaces between them,
were both wide-open--in the dim light no mean achievement. Also that the fronds
of a palm plant, some ten feet in front of me, still stirred gently from the
air of some one who had recently gone past them. The long green leaves waved to
and fro like hands. Then I went stealthily forward down the narrow space, proud
even that I had this command of myself, and so carefully that my feet made no
sound upon the Japanese matting on the floor.
It was a journey that seemed timeless. I have no
idea how fast or slow I went, but I remember that I deliberately examined
articles on each side of me, peering with particular closeness into the
recesses of wall and window. I passed the first baize doors, and the passage
beyond them widened out to hold shelves of books; there were sofas and small
reading-tables against the wall.
It narrowed again presently, as I entered the
second stretch. The windows here were higher and smaller, and marble statuettes
of classical subject lined the walls, watching me like figures of the dead.
Their white and shining faces saw me, yet made no sign. I passed next between
the second baize doors. They, too, had been fastened back with --gainst the
wall. Thus all doors were open--had been recently opened.
And so, at length, I found myself in the final
widening of the corridor which formed an antechamber to the music-room itself.
It had been used formerly to hold the overflow of meetings. No door separated
it from the great hall beyond, but heavy curtains hung usually to close it off,
and these curtains were invariably drawn. They now stood wide. And here--I can
merely state the impression that came upon me--I knew myself at last
surrounded. The throng that pressed behind me, also surged in front: facing me
in the big room, and waiting for my entry, stood a multitude; on either side of
me, in the very air above my head, the vast assemblage paused upon my coming.
The pause, however, was momentary, for instantly the deep, tumultuous movement
was resumed that yet was silent as a cavern underground. I felt the agony that
was in it, the passionate striving, the awful struggle to escape. The
semi-darkness held beseeching faces that fought to press themselves upon my
vision, yearning yet hopeless eyes, lips scorched and dry, mouths that opened
to implore but found no craved delivery in actual words, and a fury of misery
and hate that made the life in me stop dead, frozen by the horror of vain pity.
That intolerable, vain Hope was everywhere.
And the multitude, it came to me, was not a
single multitude, but many; for, as soon as one huge division pressed too close
upon the edge of escape, it was dragged back by another and prevented. The wild
host was divided against itself. Here dwelt the Shadow I had 'imagined' weeks
ago, and in it struggled armies of lost souls as in the depths of some
bottomless pit whence there is no escape. The layers mingled, fighting against
themselves in endless torture. It was in this great Shadow I had clairvoyantly
seen Mabel, but about its fearful mouth, I now was certain, hovered another
figure of darkness, a figure who sought to keep it in existence, since to her
thought were due those lampless depths of woe without escape...Towards me the
multitudes now surged.
It was a sound and a movement that brought me
back into myself. The great clock at the farther end of the room just then
struck the hour of three. That was the sound. And the movement--? I was aware
that a figure was passing across the distant centre of the floor. Instantly I
dropped back into the arena of my little human terror. My hand again clutched
stupidly at the pistol butt. I drew back into the folds of the heavy curtain.
And the figure advanced.
I remember every detail. At first it seemed to
me enormous--this advancing shadow--far beyond human scale; but as it came
nearer, I measured it, though not consciously, by the organ pipes that gleamed
in faint colours, just above its gradual soft approach. It passed them, already
half-way across the great room. I saw then that its stature was that of
ordinary men. The prolonged booming of the clock died away. I heard the
footfall, shuffling upon the polished boards. I heard another sound--a voice,
low and monotonous, droning as in prayer. The figure was speaking. It was a
woman. And she carried in both hands before her a small object that faintly
shimmered--a glass of water. And then I recognised her.
There was still an instant's time before she
reached me, and I made use of it. I shrank back, flattening myself against the
wall. Her voice ceased a moment, as she turned and carefully drew the curtains
together behind her, closing them with one hand. Oblivious of my presence,
though she actually touched my dressing-gown with the hand that pulled the
cords, she resumed her dreadful, solemn march, disappearing at length down the
long vista of the corridor like a shadow.
But as she passed me, her voice began again, so
that I heard each word distinctly as she uttered it, her head aloft, her figure
upright, as though she moved at the head of a procession:
'A drop of cold water, given in His name, shall
moisten their burning tongues.'
It was repeated monotonously over and over
again, droning down into the distance as she went, until at length both voice
and figure faded into the shadows at the farther end.
For a time, I have no means of measuring
precisely, I stood in that dark corner, pressing my back against the wall, and
would have drawn the curtains down to hide me had I dared to stretch an arm
out. The dread that presently the woman would return passed gradually away. I
realised that the air had emptied, the crowd her presence had stirred into
activity had retreated; I was alone in the gloomy under-space of the odious
building...Then I remembered suddenly again the terrified women waiting for me
on that upper landing; and realised that my skin was wet and freezing cold
after a profuse perspiration. I prepared to retrace my steps. I remember the
effort it cost me to leave the support of the wall and covering darkness of my
corner, and step out into the grey light of the corridor. At first I sidled,
then, finding this mode of walking impossible, turned my face boldly and walked
quickly, regardless that my dressing-gown set the precious objects shaking as I
passed. A wind that sighed mournfully against the high, small windows seemed to
have got inside the corridor as well; it felt so cold; and every moment I
dreaded to see the outline of the woman's figure as she waited in recess or
angle against the wall for me to pass.
Was there another thing I dreaded even more? I
cannot say. I only know that the first baize doors had swung to behind me, and
the second ones were close at hand, when the great dim thunder caught me,
pouring up with prodigious volume so that it, seemed to roll out from another
world. It shook the very bowels of the building. I was closer to it than that
other time, when it had followed me from the goblin garden. There was strength
and hardness in it, as of metal reverberation. Some touch of numbness, almost
of paralysis, must surely have been upon me that I felt no actual terror, for I
remember even turning and standing still to hear it better. 'That is the
Noise,' my thought ran stupidly, and I think I whispered it aloud; 'the Doors
are closing. 'The wind outside against the windows was audible, so it cannot
have been really loud, yet to me it was the biggest, deepest sound I have ever
heard, but so far away, with such awful remoteness in it, that I had to doubt
my own ears at the same time. It seemed underground--the rumbling of earthquake
gates that shut remorselessly within the rocky Earth--stupendous ultimate
thunder. They were shut off from help again. The doors had closed.
I felt a storm of pity, an agony of bitter,
futile hate sweep through me. My memory of the figure changed then. The Woman
with the glass of cooling water had stepped down from Heaven; but the Man--or
was it Men?--who smeared this terrible layer of belief and Thought upon the
world!...
I crossed the dining-room--it was fancy, of
course, that held my eyes from glancing at the portrait for fear I should see
it smiling approval--and so finally reached the hall, where the light from the
floor above seemed now quite bright in comparison. All the doors I closed
carefully behind me; but first I had to open them. The woman had closed every
one. Up the stairs, then, I actually ran, two steps at a time. My sister was
standing outside Mabel's door. By her face I knew that she had also heard.
There was no need to ask. I quickly made my mind up.
'There's nothing,' I said, and detailed briefly
my tour of search. 'All is quiet and undisturbed downstairs.' May God forgive
me!
She beckoned to me, closing the door softly
behind her. My heart beat violently a moment, then stood still.
'Mabel,' she said aloud.
It was like the sentence of a judge, that one
short word.
I tried to push past her and go in, but she
stopped me with her arm. She was wholly mistress of herself, I saw.
'Hush!' she said in a lower voice. 'I've got her
round again with brandy. She's sleeping quietly now. We won't disturb her.'
She drew me farther out into the landing, and as
she did so, the clock in the hall below struck half-past three. I had stood,
then, thirty minutes in the corridor below. 'You've been such a long time.' she
said simply. 'I feared for you,' and she took my hand in her own that was cold
and clammy.
Chapter VIII
And then, while that dreadful house stood
listening about us in the early hours of this chill morning upon the edge of
winter, she told me, with laconic brevity, things about Mabel that I heard as
from a distance. There was nothing so unusual or tremendous in the short
recital, nothing indeed I might not have already guessed for myself. It was the
time and scene, the inference, too, that made it so afflicting: the idea that
Mabel believed herself so utterly and hopelessly lost--beyond recovery--damned.
That she had loved him with so passionate a
devotion that she had given her soul into his keeping, this certainly I had not
divined--probably because I had never thought about it one way or the other. He
had 'converted' her, I knew, but that she had subscribed whole-heartedly to
that most cruel and ugly of his dogmas--this was new to me, and came with a
certain shock as I heard it. In love, of course, the weaker nature is receptive
to all manner of suggestion. This man had 'suggested' his pet brimstone lake so
vividly that she had listened and believed. He had frightened her into heaven;
and his heaven, a definite locality in the skies, had its foretaste here on
earth in miniature--The Towers, house and garden. Into his dolorous scheme of a
handful saved and millions damned, his enclosure, as it were, of sheep and
goats, he had swept her before she was aware of it. Her mind no longer was her
own. And it was Mrs. Marsh who kept the thought-stream open, though tempered,
as she deemed, with that touch of craven, superstitious mercy.
But what I found it difficult to understand, and
still more difficult to accept, was that, during her year abroad, she had been
so haunted with a secret dread of that hideous after-death that she had finally
revolted and tried to recover that clearer state of mind she had enjoyed before
the religious bully had stunned her--yet had tried in vain. She had returned to
The Towers to find her soul again, only to realise that it was lost eternally.
The cleaner state of mind lay then beyond recovery. In the reaction that
followed the removal of his terrible 'suggestion,' she felt the crumbling of
all that he had taught her, but searched in vain for the peace and beauty his
teachings had destroyed. Nothing came to replace these. She was empty,
desolate, hopeless; craving her former joy and carelessness, she found only
hate and diabolical calculation. This man, whom she had loved to the point of
losing her soul for him, had bequeathed to her one black and fiery thing--the
terror of the damned. His thinking wrapped her in this iron garment that held
her fast.
All this Frances told me, far more briefly than
I have here repeated it. In her eyes and gestures and laconic sentences lay the
conviction of great beating issues and of menacing drama my own description
fails to recapture. It was all so incongruous and remote from the world I lived
in that more than once a smile, though a smile of pity, fluttered to my lips;
but a glimpse of my face in the mirror showed rather the leer of a grimace.
There was no real laughter anywhere that night.
The entire adventure seemed so incredible, here,
in this twentieth century--but yet delusion, that feeble word, did not occur
once in the comments my mind suggested though did not utter. I remembered that
forbidding shadow too; my sister's watercolours; the vanished personality of
our hostess; the inexplicable, thundering Noise, and the figure of Mrs. Marsh
in her midnight ritual that was so childish yet so horrible. I shivered in
spite of my own 'emancipated' cast of mind.
'There is no Mabel,' were the words with which
my sister sent another shower of ice down my spine. 'He has killed her in his
lake of fire and brimstone.'
I stared at her blankly, as in a nightmare where
nothing true or possible ever happened.
'He killed her in his lake of fire and
brimstone,' she repeated more faintly.
A desperate effort was in me to say the strong,
sensible thing which should destroy the oppressive horror that grew so stiflingly
about us both, but again the mirror drew the attempted smile into the merest
grin, betraying the distortion that was everywhere in the place.
'You mean,' I stammered beneath my breath, 'that
her faith has gone, but that the terror has remained?' I asked it, dully
groping. I moved out of the line of the reflection in the glass.
She bowed her head as though beneath a weight;
her skin was the pallor of grey ashes.
'You mean,' I said louder, 'that she has lost
her--mind?'
'She is terror incarnate,' was the whispered
answer. 'Mabel has lost her soul. Her soul is--there!' She pointed horribly
below. 'She is seeking it...?'
The word 'soul' stung me into something of my
normal self again.
'But her terror, poor thing, is not--cannot
be--transferable to us!' I exclaimed more vehemently. 'It certainly is not
convertible into feelings, sights and--even sounds!'
She interrupted me quickly, almost impatiently,
speaking with that conviction by which she conquered me so easily that night.
'It is her terror that revived "the
Others." It has brought her into touch with them. They are loose and
driving after her. Her efforts at resistance have given them also hope--that
escape, after all, is possible. Day and night they strive.
'Escape! Others!' The anger fast rising in me dropped
of its own accord at the moment of birth. It shrank into a shuddering beyond my
control. In that moment, I think, I would have believed in the possibility of
anything and everything she might tell me. To argue or contradict seemed
equally futile.
'His strong belief, as also the beliefs of
others who have preceded him,' she replied, so sure of herself that I actually
turned to look over my shoulder, 'have left their shadow like a thick deposit
over the house and grounds. To them, poor souls imprisoned by thought, it was
hopeless as granite walls--until her resistance, her effort to dissipate
it--let in light. Now, in their thousands, they are flocking to this little
light, seeking escape. Her own escape, don't you see, may release them all!'
It took my breath away. Had his predecessors,
former occupants of this house, also preached damnation of all the world but
their own exclusive sect? Was this the explanation of her obscure talk of
'layers,' each striving against the other for domination? And if men are
spirits, and these spirits survive, could strong Thought thus determine their
condition even afterwards?
So many questions flooded into me that I
selected no one of them, but stared in uncomfortable silence, bewildered, out
of my depth, and acutely, painfully distressed. There was so odd a mixture of
possible truth and incredible, unacceptable explanation in it all; so much
confirmed, yet so much left darker than before. What she said did, indeed,
offer a quasi-interpretation of my own series of abominable sensations--strife,
agony, pity, hate, escape--but so far-fetched that only the deep conviction in
her voice and attitude made it tolerable for a second even. I found myself in a
curious state of mind. I could neither think clearly nor say a word to refute
her amazing statements, whispered there beside me in the shivering hours of the
early morning with only a wall between ourselves and--Mabel. Close behind her
words I remember this singular thing, however--that an atmosphere as of the
Inquisition seemed to rise and stir about the room, beating awful wings of
black above my head.
Abruptly, then, a moment's common-sense returned
to me. I faced her.
'And the Noise?' I said aloud, more firmly, 'the
roar of the closing doors? We have all heard that! Is that subjective too?'
Frances looked sideways about her in a queer
fashion that made my flesh creep again. I spoke brusquely, almost angrily. I
repeated the question, and waited with anxiety for her reply.
'What noise?' she asked, with the frank
expression of an innocent child. 'What closing doors?'
But her face turned from grey to white, and I
saw that drops of perspiration glistened on her forehead. She caught at the
back of a chair to steady herself, then glanced about her again with that
sidelong look that made my blood run cold. I understood suddenly then. She did
not take in what I said. I knew now. She was listening--for something else.
And the discovery revived in me a far stronger
emotion than any mere desire for immediate explanation. Not only did I not
insist upon an answer, but I was actually terrified lest she would answer.
More, I felt in me a terror lest I should be moved to describe my own
experiences below-stairs, thus increasing their reality and so the reality of
all. She might even explain them too!
Still listening intently, she raised her head
and looked me in the eyes. Her lips opened to speak. The words came to me from
a great distance, it seemed, and her voice had a sound like a stone that drops
into a deep well, its fate though hidden, known.
We are in it with her, too, Bill. We are in it
with her. Our interpretations vary--because we are--in parts of it only. Mabel
is in it--all.'
The desire for violence came over me. If only
she would say a definite thing in plain King's English! If only I could find it
in me to give utterance to what shouted so loud within me! If only--the same
old cry--something would happen! For all this elliptic talk that dazed my mind
left obscurity everywhere. Her atrocious meaning, none the less, flashed
through me, though vanishing before it wholly divulged itself.
It brought a certain reaction with it. I found
my tongue. Whether I actually believed what I said is more than I can swear to;
that it seemed to me wise at the moment is all I remember. My mind was in a state
of obscure perception less than that of normal consciousness.
'Yes, Frances, I believe that what you say is
the truth, and that we are in it with her'--I meant to say I with loud, hostile
emphasis, but instead I whispered it lest she should hear the trembling of my
voice--'and for that reason, my dear sister, we leave to-morrow, you and
I--to-day, rather, since it is long past midnight--we leave this house of the
damned. We go back to London.'
Frances looked up, her face distraught almost
beyond recognition. But it was not my words that caused the tumult in her
heart. It was a sound--the sound she had been listening for--so faint I barely
caught it myself, and had she not pointed I could never have known the
direction whence it came. Small and terrible it rose again in the stillness of
the night, the sound of gnashing teeth. And behind it came another--the tread
of stealthy footsteps. Both were just outside the door.
The room swung round me for a second. My first
instinct to prevent my sister going out--she had dashed past me frantically to
the door--gave place to another when I saw the expression in her eyes. I
followed her lead instead; it was surer than my own. The pistol in my pocket
swung uselessly against my thigh. I was flustered beyond belief and ashamed
that I was so.
'Keep close to me, Frances,' I said huskily, as
the door swung wide and a shaft of light fell upon a figure moving rapidly.
Mabel was going down the corridor. Beyond her, in the shadows on the staircase,
a second figure stood beckoning, scarcely visible.
'Before they get her! Quick!' was screamed into
my ears, and our arms were about her in the same moment. It was a horrible
scene. Not that Mabel struggled in the least, but that she collapsed as we
caught her and fell with her dead weight, as of a corpse, limp, against us. And
her teeth began again. They continued, even beneath the hand that Frances
clapped upon her lips...
We carried her back into her own bedroom, where
she lay down peacefully enough. It was so soon over...The rapidity of the whole
thing robbed it of reality almost. It had the swiftness of something remembered
rather than of something witnessed. She slept again so quickly that it was
almost as if we had caught her sleep-walking. I cannot say. I asked no
questions at the time; I have asked none since; and my help was needed as
little as the protection of my pistol. Frances was strangely competent and
collected...I lingered for some time uselessly by the door, till at length,
looking up with a sigh, she made a sign for me to go.
'I shall wait in your room next door,' I
whispered, 'till you come.' But, though going out, I waited in the corridor
instead, so as to hear the faintest call for help. In that dark corridor
upstairs I waited, but not long. It may have been fifteen minutes when Frances
reappeared, locking the door softly behind her. Leaning over the banisters, I
saw her.
'I'll go in again about six o'clock,' she
whispered, 'as soon as it gets light. She is sound asleep now. Please don't
wait. If anything happens I'll call--you might leave your door ajar, perhaps.'
And she came up, looking like a ghost.
But I saw her first safely into bed, and the
rest of the night I spent in an armchair close to my opened door, listening for
the slightest sound. Soon after five o'clock I heard Frances fumbling with the
key, and, peering over the railing again, I waited till she reappeared and went
back into her own room. She closed her door. Evidently she was satisfied that
all was well.
Then, and then only, did I go to bed myself, but
not to sleep. I could not get the scene out of my mind, especially that odious
detail of it which I hoped and believed my sister had not seen--the still, dark
figure of the housekeeper waiting on the stairs below--waiting, of course, for
Mabel.
Chapter IX
It seems I became a mere spectator after that;
my sister's lead was so assured for one thing, and, for another, the
responsibility of leaving Mabel alone--Frances laid it bodily upon my
shoulders--was a little more than I cared about. Moreover, when we all three
met later in the day, things went on so exactly as before, so absolutely
without friction or distress, that to present a sudden, obvious excuse for
cutting our visit short seemed ill-judged. And on the lowest grounds it would
have been desertion. At any rate, it was beyond my powers, and Frances was
quite firm that she must stay. We therefore did stay. Things that happen in the
night always seem exaggerated and distorted when the sun shines brightly next
morning; no one can reconstruct the terror of a nightmare afterwards, nor
comprehend why it seemed so overwhelming at the time.
I slept till ten o'clock, and when I rang for
breakfast, a note from my sister lay upon the tray, its message of counsel
couched in a calm and comforting strain. Mabel, she assured me, was herself
again and remembered nothing of what had happened; there was no need of any
violent measures; I was to treat her exactly as if I knew nothing. 'And, if you
don't mind, Bill, let us leave the matter unmentioned between ourselves as well.
Discussion exaggerates; such things are best not talked about. I'm sorry I
disturbed you so unnecessarily; I was stupidly excited. Please forget all the
things I said at the moment.' She had written 'nonsense' first instead of
'things,' then scratched it out. She wished to convey that hysteria had been
abroad in the night, and I readily gulped the explanation down, though it could
not satisfy me in the smallest degree.
There was another week of our visit still, and
we stayed it out to the end without disaster. My desire to leave at times
became that frantic thing, desire to escape; but I controlled it, kept silent,
watched and wondered. Nothing happened. As before, and everywhere, there was no
sequence of development, no connection between cause and effect; and climax,
none whatever. The thing swayed up and down, backwards and forwards like a
great loose curtain in the wind, and I could only vaguely surmise what caused the
draught or why there was a curtain at all. A novelist might mould the queer
material into coherent sequence that would be interesting but could not be
true.
It remains, therefore, not a story but a
history. Nothing happened.
Perhaps my intense dislike of the fall of
darkness was due wholly to my stirred imagination, and perhaps my anger when I
learned that Frances now occupied a bed in our hostess's room was unreasonable.
Nerves were unquestionably on edge. I was for ever on the look-out for some
event that should make escape imperative, but yet that never presented itself.
I slept lightly, left my door ajar to catch the slightest sound, even made
stealthy tours of the house below-stairs while everybody dreamed in their beds.
But I discovered nothing; the doors were always locked; I neither saw the
housekeeper again in unreasonable times and places, nor heard a footstep in the
passages and halls. The Noise was never once repeated. That horrible, ultimate
thunder, my intensest dread of all, lay withdrawn into the abyss whence it had
twice arisen. And though in my thoughts it was sternly denied existence, the
great black reason for the fact afflicted me unbelievably. Since Mabel's
fruitless effort to escape, the Doors kept closed remorselessly. She had failed;
they gave up hope. For this was the explanation that haunted the region of my
mind where feelings stir and hint before they clothe themselves in actual
language. Only I firmly kept it there; it never knew expression.
But, if my ears were open, my eyes were opened
too, and it were idle to pretend that I did not notice a hundred details that
were capable of sinister interpretation had I been weak enough to yield. Some
protective barrier had fallen into ruins round me, so that Terror stalked
behind the general collapse, feeling for me through all the gaping fissures.
Much of this, I admit, must have been merely the elaboration of those
sensations I had first vaguely felt, before subsequent events and my talks with
Frances had dramatised them into living thoughts. I therefore leave them
unmentioned in this history, just as my mind left them unmentioned in that
interminable final week. Our life went on precisely as before--Mabel unreal and
outwardly so still; Frances, secretive, anxious, tactful to the point of slyness,
and keen to save to the point of self-forgetfulness.
There were the same stupid meals, the same
wearisome long evenings, the stifling ugliness of house and grounds, the Shadow
settling in so thickly that it seemed almost a visible, tangible thing. I came
to feel the only friendly things in all this hostile, cruel place were the
robins that hopped boldly over the monstrous terraces and even up to the
windows of the unsightly house itself. The robins alone knew joy; they danced,
believing no evil thing was possible in all God's radiant world. They believed
in everybody; their god's plan of life had no room in it for hell, damnation
and lakes of brimstone. I came to love the little birds. Had Samuel Franklyn
known them, he might have preached a different sermon, bequeathing love in
place of terror!
Most of my time I spent writing; but it was a
pretence at best, and rather a dangerous one besides. For it stirred the mind
to production, with the result that other things came pouring in as well. With
reading it was the same. In the end I found an aggressive, deliberate
resistance to be the only way of feasible defence. To walk far afield was out
of the question, for it meant leaving my sister too long alone, so that my
exercise was confined to nearer home. My saunters in the grounds, however,
never surprised the goblin garden again. It was close at hand, but I seemed
unable to get wholly into it. Too many things assailed my mind for any one to
hold exclusive possession, perhaps.
Indeed, all the interpretations, all the
'layers,' to use my sister's phrase, slipped in by turns and lodged there for a
time. They came day and night, and though my reason denied them entrance they
held their own as by a kind of squatter's right. They stirred moods already in
me, that is, and did not introduce entirely new ones; for every mind conceals
ancestral deposits that have been cultivated in turn along the whole line of
its descent. Any day a chance shower may cause this one or that to blossom.
Thus it came to me, at any rate. After darkness the Inquisition paced the empty
corridors and set up ghastly apparatus in the dismal halls; and once, in the
library, there swept over me that easy and delicious conviction that by
confessing my wickedness I could resume it later, since Confession is
expression, and expression brings relief and leaves one ready to accumulate
again. And in such mood I felt bitter and unforgiving towards all others who
thought differently. Another time it was a Pagan thing that assaulted me--so
trivial yet oh, so significant at the time--when I dreamed that a herd of
centaurs rolled up with a great stamping of hoofs round the house to destroy
it, and then woke to hear the horses tramping across the field below the lawns;
they neighed ominously and their noisy panting was audible as if it were just
outside my windows.
But the tree episode, I think, was the most
curious of all--except, perhaps, the incident with the children which I shall
mention in a moment--for its closeness to reality was so unforgettable.
Outside the east window of my room stood a giant
wellingtonia on the lawn, its head rising level with the upper sash. It grew
some twenty feet away, planted on the highest terrace, and I often saw it when
closing my curtains for the night, noticing how it drew its heavy skirts about
it, and how the light from other windows threw glimmering streaks and patches
that turned it into the semblance of a towering, solemn image. It stood there
then so strikingly, somehow like a great old-world idol, that it claimed attention.
Its appearance was curiously formidable. Its branches rustled without visibly
moving and it had a certain portentous, forbidding air, so grand and dark and
monstrous in the night that I was always glad when my curtains shut it out.
Yet, once in bed, I had never thought about it one way or the other, and by day
had certainly never sought it out.
One night, then, as I went to bed and closed
this window against a cutting easterly wind, I saw--that there were two of
these trees. A brother wellingtonia rose mysteriously beside it, equally huge,
equally towering, equally monstrous. The menacing pair of them faced me there
upon the lawn. But in this new arrival lay a strange suggestion that frightened
me before I could argue it away. Exact counterpart of its giant companion, it
revealed also that gross, odious quality that all my sister's paintings held. I
got the odd impression that the rest of these trees, stretching away dimly in a
troop over the farther lawns, were similar, and that, led by this enormous pair,
they had all moved boldly closer to my windows. At the same moment a blind was
drawn down over an upper room; the second tree disappeared into the surrounding
darkness.
It was, of course, this chance light that had
brought it into the field of vision, but when the black shutter dropped over
it, hiding it from view, the manner of its vanishing produced the queer effect
that it had slipped into its companion--almost that it had been an emanation of
the one I so disliked, and not really a tree at all! In this way the garden
turned vehicle for expressing what lay behind it all!...
The behaviour of the doors, the little, ordinary
doors, seems scarcely worth mention at all, their queer way of opening and
shutting of their own accord; for this was accountable in a hundred natural
ways, and to tell the truth, I never caught one in the act of moving. Indeed,
only after frequent repetitions did the detail force itself upon me, when,
having noticed one, I noticed all. It produced, however, the unpleasant impression
of a continual coming and going in the house, as though, screened cleverly and
purposely from actual sight, some one in the building held constant invisible
intercourse with--others.
Upon detailed descriptions of these uncertain
incidents I do not venture, individually so trivial, but taken all together so
impressive and so insolent. But the episode of the children, mentioned above,
was different. And I give it because it showed how vividly the intuitive
child-mind received the impression--one impression, at any rate--of what was in
the air. It may be told in a very few words. I believe they were the coachman's
children, and that the man had been in Mr. Franklyn's service; but of neither
point am I quite positive.
I heard screaming in the rose-garden that runs
along the stable walls--it was one afternoon not far from the tea-hour--and on
hurrying up I found a little girl of nine or ten fastened with ropes to a
rustic seat, and two other children--boys, one about twelve and one much
younger--gathering sticks beneath the climbing rose-trees. The girl was white
and frightened, but the others were laughing and talking among themselves so
busily while they picked that they did not notice my abrupt arrival. Some game,
I understood, was in progress, but a game that had become too serious for the
happiness of the prisoner, for there was a fear in the girl's eyes that was a
very genuine fear indeed. I unfastened her at once; the ropes were so loosely
and clumsily knotted that they had not hurt her skin; it was not that which
made her pale. She collapsed a moment upon the bench, then picked up her tiny
skirts and dived away at full speed into the safety of the stable-yard.
There was no response to my brief comforting,
but she ran as though for her life, and I divined that some horrid boys'
cruelty had been afoot. It was probably mere thoughtlessness, as cruelty with
children usually is, but something in me decided to discover exactly what it
was.
And the boys, not one whit alarmed at my
intervention, merely laughed shyly when I explained that their prisoner had
escaped, and told me frankly what their 'gime' had been. There was no vestige
of shame in them, nor any idea, of course, that they aped a monstrous reality.
That it was mere pretence was neither here nor
there. To them, though make-believe, it was a make-believe of something that
was right and natural and in no sense cruel. Grown-ups did it too. It was
necessary for her good.
'We was going to burn her up, sir,' the older
one informed me, answering my 'Why?' with the explanation, 'Because she
wouldn't believe what we wanted 'er to believe.'
And, game though it was, the feeling of reality
about the little episode was so arresting, so terrific in some way, that only
with difficulty did I confine my admonitions on this occasion to mere words.
The boys slunk off, frightened in their turn, yet not, I felt, convinced that
they had erred in principle. It was their inheritance. They had breathed it in
with the atmosphere of their bringing-up. They would renew the salutary torture
when they could--till she 'believed' as they did.
I went back into the house, afflicted with a
passion of mingled pity and distress impossible to describe, yet on my short
way across the garden was attacked by other moods in turn, each more real and
bitter than its predecessor. I received the whole series, as it were, at once.
I felt like a diver rising to the surface through layers of water at different
temperatures, though here the natural order was reversed, and the cooler strata
were uppermost, the heated ones below. Thus, I was caught by the goblin touch
of the willows that fringed the field; by the sensuous curving of the twisted
ash that formed a gateway to the little grove of sapling oaks where fauns and
satyrs lurked to play in the moonlight before Pagan altars; and by the cloaking
darkness, next, of the copse of stunted pines, close gathered each to each,
where hooded figures stalked behind an awful cross. The episode with the
children seemed to have opened me like a knife. The whole Place rushed at me.
I suspect this synthesis of many moods produced
in me that climax of loathing and disgust which made me feel the limit of
bearable emotion had been reached, so that I made straight to find Frances in
order to convince her that at any rate I must leave. For, although this was our
last day in the house, and we had arranged to go next day, the dread was in me
that she would still find some persuasive reason for staying on. And an
unexpected incident then made my dread unnecessary. The front door was open and
a cab stood in the drive; a tall, elderly man was gravely talking in the hall
with the parlourmaid we called the Grenadier. He held a piece of paper in his
hand. 'I have called to see the house,' I heard him say, as I ran up the stairs
to Frances, who was peering like an inquisitive child over the banisters...
'Yes,' she told me with a sigh, I know not
whether of resignation or relief, 'the house is to be let or sold. Mabel has
decided. Some Society or other, I believe--'
I was overjoyed: this made our leaving right and
possible. 'You never told me, Frances!'
'Mabel only heard of it a few days ago. She told
me herself this morning. It is a chance, she says. Alone she cannot get it
"straight".
'Defeat?' I asked, watching her closely.
'She thinks she has found a way out. It's not a
family, you see, it's a Society, a sort of Community--they go in for thought--'
'A Community!' I gasped. 'You mean religious?'
She shook her head. 'Not exactly,' she said
smiling, 'but some kind of association of men and women who want a headquarters
in the country--a place where they can write and meditate--think--mature their
plans and all the rest--I don't know exactly what.'
'Utopian dreamers?' I asked, yet feeling an
immense relief come over me as I heard. But I asked in ignorance, not
cynically. Frances would know. She knew all this kind of thing.
'No, not that exactly,' she smiled. 'Their
teachings are grand and simple-old as the world too, really--the basis of every
religion before men's minds perverted them with their manufactured creeds--'
Footsteps on the stairs, and the sound of
voices, interrupted our odd impromptu conversation, as the Grenadier came up,
followed by the tall, grave gentleman who was being shown over the house. My
sister drew me along the corridor towards her room, where she went in and
closed the door behind me, yet not before I had stolen a good look at the
caller--long enough, at least, for his face and general appearance to have made
a definite impression on me. For something strong and peaceful emanated from
his presence; he moved with such quiet dignity; the glance of his eyes was so
steady and reassuring, that my mind labelled him instantly as a type of man one
would turn to in an emergency and not be disappointed. I had seen him but for a
passing moment, but I had seen him twice, and the way he walked down the
passage, looking competently about him, conveyed the same impression as when I
saw him standing at the door--fearless, tolerant, wise. 'A sincere and kindly
character,' I judged instantly, 'a man whom some big kind of love has trained
in sweetness towards the world; no hate in him anywhere.' A great deal, no
doubt, to read in so brief a glance! Yet his voice confirmed my intuition, a
deep and very gentle voice, great firmness in it too.
'Have I become suddenly sensitive to people's
atmospheres in this extraordinary fashion?' I asked myself, smiling, as I stood
in the room and heard the door close behind me. 'Have I developed some
clairvoyant faculty here?' At any other time I should have mocked.
And I sat down and faced my sister, feeling
strangely comforted and at peace for the first time since I had stepped beneath
The Towers' roof a month ago. Frances, I then saw, was smiling a little as she
watched me.
'You know him?' I asked.
'You felt it too?' was her question in reply.
'No,' she added, 'I don't know him--beyond the fact that he is a leader in the
Movement and has devoted years and money to its objects. Mabel felt the same
thing in him that you have felt--and jumped at it.'
'But you've seen him before?' I urged, for the
certainty was in me that he was no stranger to her.
She shook her head. 'He called one day early
this week, when you were out. Mabel saw him. I believe--' she hesitated a
moment, as though expecting me to stop her with my usual impatience of such
subjects--'I believe he has explained everything to her--the beliefs he
embodies, she declares, are her salvation--might be, rather, if she could adopt
them.'
'Conversion again!' For I remembered her riches,
and how gladly a Society would gobble them.
'The layers I told you about,' she continued
calmly, shrugging her shoulders slightly--'the deposits that are left behind by
strong thinking and real belief--but especially by ugly, hateful belief,
because, you see--unfortunately there's more vital passion in that sort--'
'Frances, I don't understand a bit,' I said out
loud, but said it a little humbly, for the impression the man had left was
still strong upon me and I was grateful for the steady sense of peace and
comfort he had somehow introduced. The horrors had been so dreadful. My nerves,
doubtless, were more than a little overstrained. Absurd as it must sound, I
classed him in my mind with the robins, the happy, confiding robins who
believed in everybody and thought no evil! I laughed a moment at my ridiculous
idea, and my sister, encouraged by this sign of patience in me, continued more
fluently.
'Of course you don't understand, Bill? Why
should you? You've never thought about such things. Needing no creed yourself,
you think all creeds are rubbish.'
'I'm open to conviction--I'm tolerant,' I
interrupted.
'You're as narrow as Sam Franklyn, and as
crammed with prejudice,' she answered, knowing that she had me at her mercy.
'Then, pray, what may be his, or his Society's
beliefs?' I asked, feeling no desire to argue. 'And how are they going to prove
your Mabel's salvation? Can they bring beauty into all this aggressive hate and
ugliness?'
'Certain hope and peace,' she said, 'that peace
which is understanding, and that understanding which explains all creeds and
therefore tolerates them.'
'Toleration! The one word a religous man loathes
above all others! His pet word is damnation--'
'Tolerates them,' she repeated patiently,
unperturbed by my explosion, 'because it includes them all.'
'Fine, if true' I admitted, 'very fine. But how,
pray, does it include them all?'
'Because the key-word, the motto, of their
Society is, "There is no religion higher than Truth," and it has no
single dogma of any kind. Above all,' she went on, 'because it claims that no
individual can be "lost." It teaches universal salvation. To damn
outsiders is uncivilised, childish, impure. Some take longer than others--it's
according to the way they think and live--but all find peace, through
development, in the end. What the creeds call a hopeless soul, it regards as a
soul having further to go. There is no damnation--'
'Well, well,' I exclaimed, feeling that she rode
her hobby horse too wildly, too roughly over me, 'but what is the bearing of
all this upon this dreadful place, and upon Mabel? I'll admit that there is
this atmosphere--this--er--inexplicable horror in the house and grounds, and
that if not of damnation exactly, it is certainly damnable. I'm not too
prejudiced to deny that, for I've felt it myself.'
To my relief she was brief. She made her
statement, leaving me to take it or reject it as I would.
'The thought and belief its former
occupants--have left behind. For there has been coincidence here, a coincidence
that must be rare. The site on which this modern house now stands was Roman,
before that Early Britain, with burial mounds, before that again, Druid--the
Druid stones still lie in that copse below the field, the Tumuli among the
ilexes behind the drive.
The older building Sam Franklyn altered and
practically pulled down was a monastery; he changed the chapel into a meeting
hall, which is now the music-room; but, before he came here, the house was
occupied by Manetti, a violent Catholic without tolerance or vision; and in the
interval between these two, Julius Weinbaum had it, Hebrew of most rigid
orthodox type imaginable--so they all have left their--'
'Even so,' I repeated, yet interested to hear
the rest, 'what of it?'
'Simply this,' said Frances with conviction,
'that each in turn has left his layer of concentrated thinking and belief
behind him; because each believed intensely, absolutely, beyond the least
weakening of any doubt--the kind of strong belief and thinking that is rare
anywhere to-day, the kind that wills, impregnates objects, saturates the atmosphere,
haunts, in a word. And each, believing he was utterly and finally right, damned
with equally positive conviction the rest of the world. One and all preached
that implicitly if not explicitly. It's the root of every creed. Last of the
bigoted, grim series came Samuel Franklyn.'
I listened in amazement that increased as she
went on. Up to this point her explanation was so admirable. It was, indeed, a
pretty study in psychology if it were true.
'Then why does nothing ever happen?' I enquired
mildly. 'A place so thickly haunted ought to produce a crop of no ordinary
results!'
'There lies the proof,' she went on in a lowered
voice, 'the proof of the horror and the ugly reality. The thought and belief of
each occupant in turn kept all the others under. They gave no sign of life at
the time. But the results of thinking never die. They crop out again the moment
there's an opening. And, with the return of Mabel in her negative state,
believing nothing positive herself the place for the first time found itself
free to reproduce its buried stores.
Damnation, hell-fire, and the rest--the most
permanent and vital thought of all those creeds, since it was applied to the
majority of the world--broke loose again, for there was no restraint to hold it
back. Each sought to obtain its former supremacy. None conquered. There results
a pandemonium of hate and fear, of striving to escape, of agonised, bitter
warring to find safety, peace--salvation. The place is saturated by that
appalling stream of thinking--the terror of the damned. It concentrated upon
Mabel, whose negative attitude furnished the channel of deliverance.
You and I, according to our sympathy with her,
were similarly involved. Nothing happened, because no one layer could ever gain
the supremacy.'
I was so interested--I dare not say amused--that
I stared in silence while she paused a moment, afraid that she would draw rein
and end the fairy tale too soon.
'The beliefs of this man, of his Society rather,
vigorously thought and therefore vigorously given out here, will put the whole
place straight. It will act as a solvent. These vitriolic layers actively
denied, will fuse and disappear in the stream of gentle, tolerant sympathy
which is love.
For each member, worthy of the name, loves the
world, and all creeds go into the melting-pot; Mabel, too, if she joins them
out of real conviction, will find salvation--'
'Thinking, I know, is of the first importance,'
I objected, 'but don't you, perhaps, exaggerate the power of feeling and
emotion which in religion are au fond always hysterical?'
'What is the world,' she told me, 'but thinking
and feeling? An individual's world is entirely what that individual thinks and
believes--interpretation. There is no other. And unless he really thinks and
really believes, he has no permanent world at all. I grant that few people
think, and still fewer believe, and that most take ready-made suits and make
them do. Only the strong make their own things; the lesser fry, Mabel among
them, are merely swept up into what has been manufactured for them. They get
along somehow. You and I have made for ourselves, Mabel has not. She is a
nonentity, and when her belief is taken from her, she goes with it.'
It was not in me just then to criticise the
evasion, or pick out the sophistry from the truth. I merely waited for her to
continue.
'None of us have Truth, my dear Frances,' I
ventured presently, seeing that she kept silent.
'Precisely,' she answered, 'but most of us have
beliefs. And what one believes and thinks affects the world at large. Consider
the legacy of hatred and cruelty involved in the doctrines men have built into
their creeds where the sine qua non of salvation is absolute acceptance of one
particular set of views or else perishing everlastingly--for only by
repudiating history can they disavow it--'
'You're not quite accurate,' I put in. 'Not all
the creeds teach damnation, do they? Franklyn did, of course, but the others
are a bit modernised now surely?'
'Trying to get out of it,' she admitted,
'perhaps they are, but damnation of unbelievers--of most of the world, that
is--is their rather favourite idea if you talk with them.'
'I never have.'
She smiled. 'But I have,' she said
significantly, 'so, if you consider what the various occupants of this house
have so strongly held and thought and believed, you need not be surprised that
the influence they have left behind them should be a dark and dreadful legacy.
For thought, you know, does leave--'
The opening of the door, to my great relief,
interrupted her, as the Grenadier led in the visitor to see the room. He bowed
to both of us with a brief word of apology, looked round him, and withdrew, and
with his departure the conversation between us came naturally to an end. I
followed him out. Neither of us in any case, I think, cared to argue further.
And, so far as I am aware, the curious history
of The Towers ends here too. There was no climax in the story sense. Nothing
ever really happened. We left next morning for London. I only know that the
Society in question took the house and have since occupied it to their entire
satisfaction, and that Mabel, who became a member shortly afterwards, now stays
there frequently when in need of repose from the arduous and unselfish labours
she took upon herself under its aegis. She dined with us only the other night,
here in our tiny Chelsea flat, and a jollier, saner, more interesting and happy
guest I could hardly wish for. She was vital--in the best sense; the lay-figure
had come to life. I found it difficult to believe she was the same woman whose
fearful effigy had floated down those dreary corridors and almost disappeared
in the depths of that atrocious Shadow.
What her beliefs were now I was wise enough to
leave unquestioned, and Frances, to my great relief, kept the conversation well
away from such inappropriate topics. It was clear, however, that the woman had
in herself some secret source of joy, that she was now an aggressive, positive
force, sure of herself, and apparently afraid of nothing in heaven or hell. She
radiated something very like hope and courage about her, and talked as though
the world were a glorious place and everybody in it kind and beautiful. Her
optimism was certainly infectious.
The Towers were mentioned only in passing. The
name of Marsh came up--not the Marsh, it so happened, but a name in some book
that was being discussed--and I was unable to restrain myself. Curiosity was
too strong. I threw out a casual enquiry Mabel could leave unanswered if she
wished. But there was no desire to avoid it. Her reply was frank and smiling.
'Would you believe it? She married,' Mabel told
me, though obviously surprised that I remembered the housekeeper at all; 'and
is happy as the day is long. She's found her right niche in life. A sergeant--'
'The army!' I ejaculated.
'Salvation Army,' she explained merrily.
Frances exchanged a glance with me. I laughed
too, for the information took me by surprise. I cannot say why exactly, but I
expected at least to hear that the woman had met some dreadful end, not
impossibly by burning.
'And The Towers, now called the Rest House,'
Mabel chattered on, 'seems to me the most peaceful and delightful spot in
England--'
'Really,' I said politely.
'When I lived there in the old days--while you
were there, perhaps, though I won't be sure,' Mabel went on, 'the story got
abroad that it was haunted. Wasn't it odd? A less likely place for a ghost I've
never seen. Why, it had no atmosphere at all.' She said this to Frances,
glancing up at me with a smile that apparently had no hidden meaning. 'Did you
notice anything queer about it when you were there?'
This was plainly addressed to me.
'I found it--er--difficult to settle down to
anything,' I said, after an instant's hesitation. 'I couldn't work there--'
'But I thought you wrote that wonderful book on
the Deaf and Blind while you stayed with me,' she asked innocently.
I stammered a little. 'Oh no, not then. I only
made a few notes--er--at The Towers. My mind, oddly enough, refused to produce
at all down there. But--why do you ask? Did anything--was anything supposed to
happen there?'
She looked searchingly into my eyes a moment
before she answered:
'Not that I know of,' she said simply.
At the moorland cross-roads Martin stood
examining the sign-post for several minutes in some bewilderment. The names on
the four arms were not what he expected, distances were not given, and his map,
he concluded with impatience, must be hopelessly out of date. Spreading it
against the post, he stooped to study it more closely. The wind blew the
corners flapping against his face.
The small print was almost indecipherable in the
fading light. It appeared, however--as well as he could make out--that two
miles back he must have taken the wrong turning.
He remembered that turning. The path had looked
inviting; he had hesitated a moment, then followed it, caught by the usual lure
of walkers that it "might prove a short cut." The short-cut snare is
old as human nature. For some minutes he studied the sign-post and the map
alternately.
Dusk was falling, and his knapsack had grown
heavy. He could not make the two guides tally, however, and a feeling of
uncertainty crept over his mind. He felt oddly baffled, frustrated. His thought
grew thick. Decision was most difficult. "I'm muddled," he thought;
"I must be tired," as at length he chose the most likely arm.
"Sooner or later it will bring me to an inn, though not the one I
intended." He accepted his walker's luck, and started briskly. The arm
read, "Over Litacy Hill" in small, fine letters that danced and
shifted every time he looked at them; but the name was not discoverable on the
map. It was, however, inviting like the short cut. A similar impulse again
directed his choice. Only this time it seemed more insistent, almost urgent.
And he became aware, then, of the exceeding loneliness
of the country about him. The road for a hundred yards went straight, then
curved like a white river running into space; the deep blue-green of heather
lined the banks, spreading upwards through the twilight; and occasional small
pines stood solitary here and there, all unexplained. The curious adjective,
having made its appearance, haunted him. So many things that afternoon were
similarly--unexplained: the short cut, the darkened map, the names on the
sign-post, his own erratic impulses, and the growing strange confusion that
crept upon his spirit. The entire country-side needed explanation, though
perhaps "interpretation" was the truer word. Those little lonely
trees had made him see it. Why had he lost his way so easily? Why did he suffer
vague impressions to influence his direction? Why was he here--exactly here?
And why did he go now "over Litacy Hill"? Then, by a green field that
shone like a thought of daylight amid the darkness of the moor, he saw a figure
lying in the grass. It was a blot upon the landscape, a mere huddled patch of
dirty rags, yet with a certain horrid picturesqueness too; and his mind--though
his German was of the schoolroom order--at once picked out the German
equivalents as against the English. Lump and Lumpen flashed across his brain
most oddly. They seemed in that moment right, and so expressive, almost like
onomatopoeic words, if that were possible of sight. Neither "rags"
nor "rascal" would have fitted what he saw. The adequate description
was in German.
Here was a clue tossed up by the part of him
that did not reason. But it seems he missed it.
And the next minute the tramp rose to a sitting
posture and asked the time of evening. In German he asked it. And Martin,
answering without a second's hesitation, gave it, also in German, "halb
sieben"--half-past six. The instinctive guess was accurate. A glance at
his watch when he looked a moment later proved it. He heard the man say, with
the covert insolence of tramps, "T'ank you; much opliged." For Martin
had not shown his watch--another intuition subconsciously obeyed.
He quickened his pace along that lonely road, a
curious jumble of thoughts and feelings surging through him. He had somehow
known the question would come, and come in German.
Yet it flustered and dismayed him. Another thing
had also flustered and dismayed him. He had expected it in the same queer
fashion: it was right. For when the ragged brown thing rose to ask the
question, a part of it remained lying on the grass--another brown, dirty thing.
There were two tramps. And he saw both faces clearly. Behind the untidy beards,
and below the old slouch hats, he caught the look of unpleasant, clever faces
that watched him closely while he passed.
The eyes followed him. For a second he looked
straight into those eyes, so that he could not fail to know them. And he
understood, quite horridly, that both faces were too sleek, refined, and
cunning for those of ordinary tramps. The men were not really tramps at all.
They were disguised.
"How covertly they watched me!" was
his thought, as he hurried along the darkening road, aware in dead earnestness
now of the loneliness and desolation of the moorland all about him.
Uneasy and distressed, he increased his pace.
Midway in thinking what an unnecessarily clanking noise his nailed boots made
upon the hard white road, there came upon him with a rush together the company
of these things that haunted him as "unexplained." They brought a
single definite message: That all this business was not really meant for him at
all, and hence his confusion and bewilderment; that he had intruded into
someone else's scenery, and was trespassing upon another's map of life. By some
wrong inner turning he had interpolated his person into a group of foreign
forces which operated in the little world of someone else.
Unwittingly, somewhere, he had crossed the
threshold, and now was fairly in--a trespasser, an eavesdropper, a Peeping
Torn. He was listening, peeping; overhearing things he had no right to know,
because they were intended for another. Like a ship at sea he was intercepting
wireless messages he could not properly interpret, because his Receiver was not
accurately tuned to their reception. And more--these messages were warnings!
Then fear dropped upon him like the night. He
was caught in a net of delicate, deep forces he could not manage, knowing
neither their origin nor purpose. He had walked into some huge psychic trap
elaborately planned and baited, yet calculated for another than himself.
Something had lured him in, something in the landscape, the time of day, his
mood. Owing to some undiscovered weakness in himself he had been easily caught.
His fear slipped easily into terror.
What happened next happened with such speed and
concentration that it all seemed crammed into a moment. At once and in a heap
it happened. It was quite inevitable. Down the white road to meet him a man
came swaying from side to side in drunkenness quite obviously feigned--a tramp;
and while Martin made room for him to pass, the lurch changed in a second to
attack, and the fellow was upon him. The blow was sudden and terrific, yet even
while it fell Martin was aware that behind him rushed a second man, who caught
his legs from under him and bore him with a thud and crash to the ground. Blows
rained then; he saw a gleam of something shining; a sudden deadly nausea
plunged him into utter weakness where resistance was impossible.
Something of fire entered his throat, and from
his mouth poured a thick sweet thing that choked him. The world sank far away
into darkness...Yet through all the horror and confusion ran the trail of two
clear thoughts: he realised that the first tramp had sneaked at a fast double
through the heather and so come down to meet him; and that something heavy was
torn from fastenings that clipped it tight and close beneath his clothes
against his body...
Abruptly then the darkness lifted, passed
utterly away. He found himself peering into the map against the signpost. The
wind was flapping the corners against his cheek, and he was poring over names
that now he saw quite clear. Upon the arms of the sign-post above were those he
had expected to find, and the map recorded them quite faithfully. All was
accurate again and as it should be. He read the name of the village he had
meant to make--it was plainly visible in the dusk, two miles the distance
given. Bewildered, shaken, unable to think of anything, he stuffed the map into
his pocket unfolded, and hurried forward like a man who has just wakened from
an awful dream that had compressed into a single second all the detailed misery
of some prolonged, oppressive nightmare.
He broke into a steady trot that soon became a
run; the perspiration poured from him; his legs felt weak, and his breath was
difficult to manage. He was only conscious of the overpowering desire to get
away as fast as possible from the sign-post at the cross-roads where the
dreadful vision had flashed upon him. For Martin, accountant on a holiday, had
never dreamed of any world of psychic possibilities. The entire thing was
torture. It was worse than a "cooked" balance of the books that some
conspiracy of clerks and directors proved at his innocent door. He raced as
though the country-side ran crying at his heels. And always still ran with him
the incredible conviction that none of this was really meant for himself at
all. He had overheard the secrets of another. He had taken the warning for
another into himself, and so altered its direction. He had thereby prevented
its right delivery. It all shocked him beyond words. It dislocated the
machinery of his just and accurate soul. The warning was intended for another,
who could not--would not--now receive it.
The physical exertion, however, brought at
length a more comfortable reaction and some measure of composure. With the
lights in sight, he slowed down and entered the village at a reasonable pace.
The inn was reached, a bedroom inspected and engaged, and supper ordered with
the solid comfort of a large Bass to satisfy an unholy thirst and complete the
restoration of balance. The unusual sensations largely passed away, and the odd
feeling that anything in his simple, wholesome world required explanation was
no longer present. Still with a vague uneasiness about him, though actual fear
quite gone, he went into the bar to smoke an after-supper pipe and chat with
the natives, as his pleasure was upon a holiday, and so saw two men leaning
upon the counter at the far end with their backs towards him. He saw their
faces instantly in the glass, and the pipe nearly slipped from between his
teeth. Clean-shaven, sleek, clever faces--and he caught a word or two as they
talked over their drinks--German words. Well dressed they were, both men, with
nothing about them calling for particular attention; they might have been two
tourists holiday-making like himself in tweeds and walking-boots. And they
presently paid for their drinks and went out. He never saw them face to face at
all; but the sweat broke out afresh all over him, a feverish rush of heat and
ice together ran about his body; beyond question he recognised the two tramps,
this time not disguised--not yet disguised.
He remained in his corner without moving,
puffing violently at an extinguished pipe, gripped helplessly by the return of
that first vile terror. It came again to him with an absolute clarity of
certainty that it was not with himself they had to do, these men, and, further,
that he had no right in the world to interfere. He had no locus standi at all;
it would be immoral...even if the opportunity came. And the opportunity, he
felt, would come. He had been an eavesdropper, and had come upon private
information of a secret kind that he had no right to make use of, even that
good might come--even to save life. He sat on in his corner, terrified and
silent, waiting for the thing that should happen next.
But night came without explanation. Nothing
happened. He slept soundly. There was no other guest at the inn but an elderly
man, apparently a tourist like himself. He wore gold-rimmed glasses, and in the
morning Martin overheard him asking the landlord what direction he should take
for Litacy Hill. His teeth began then to chatter and a weakness came into his
knees. "You turn to the left at the cross-roads," Martin broke in
before the landlord could reply; "you'll see the sign-post about two miles
from here, and after that it's a matter of four miles more." How in the
world did he know, flashed horribly through him. "I'm going that way
myself," he was saying next; "I'll go with you for a bit--if you
don't mind!" The words came out impulsively and ill-considered; of their
own accord they came. For his own direction was exactly opposite.
He did not want the man to go alone. The
stranger, however, easily evaded his offer of companionship. He thanked him
with the remark that he was starting later in the day...They were standing, all
three, beside the horse-trough in front of the inn, when at that very moment a
tramp, slouching along the road, looked up and asked the time of day. And it
was the man with the gold-rimmed glasses who told him.
"T'ank you; much opliged," the tramp
replied, passing on with his slow, slouching gait, while the landlord, a
talkative fellow, proceeded to remark upon the number of Germans that lived in
England and were ready to swell the Teutonic invasion which he, for his part,
deemed imminent.
But Martin heard it not. Before he had gone a
mile upon his way he went into the woods to fight his conscience all alone. His
feebleness, his cowardice, were surely criminal. Real anguish tortured him. A
dozen times he decided to go back upon his steps, and a dozen times the
singular authority that whispered he had no right to interfere prevented him.
How could he act upon knowledge gained by eavesdropping? How interfere in the
private business of another's hidden life merely because he had overheard, as at
the telephone, its secret dangers? Some inner confusion prevented straight
thinking altogether. The stranger would merely think him mad. He had no
"fact" togoupon...He smothered a hundred impulses...and finally went
on his way with a shaking, troubled heart.
The last two days of his holiday were ruined by
doubts and questions and alarms--all justified later when he read of the murder
of a tourist upon Litacy Hill. The man wore gold-rimmed glasses, and carried in
a belt about his person a large sum of money. His throat was cut.
And the police were hard upon the trail of a
mysterious pair of tramps, said to be--Germans.
The forest-girdled village upon the Jura slopes
slept soundly, although it was not yet many minutes after ten o'clock. The
clang of the couvre-feu had indeed just ceased, its notes swept far into the
woods by a wind that shook the mountains. This wind now rushed down the
deserted street. It howled about the old rambling building called La Citadelle,
whose roof towered gaunt and humped above the smaller houses--Château left
unfinished long ago by Lord Wemyss, the exiled Jacobite. The families who
occupied the various apartments listened to the storm and felt the building
tremble. 'It's the mountain wind. It will bring the snow,' the mother said,
without looking up from her knitting. 'And how sad it sounds.'
But it was not the wind that brought sadness as
we sat round the open fire of peat. It was the wind of memories. The lamplight
slanted along the narrow room towards the table where breakfast things lay
ready for the morning. The double windows were fastened. At the far end stood a
door ajar, and on the other side of it the two elder children lay asleep in the
big bed. But beside the window was a smaller unused bed, that had been empty
now a year. And to-night was the anniversary...
And so the wind brought sadness and long
thoughts. The little chap that used to lie there was already twelve months
gone, far, far beyond the Hole where the Winds came from, as he called it; yet
it seemed only yesterday that I went to tell him a tuck-up story, to stroke
Riquette, the old motherly cat that cuddled against his back and laid a paw
beside his pillow like a human being, and to hear his funny little earnest
whisper say, 'Oncle, tu sais, j'ai prié pour Petavel.' For La Citadelle had its
unhappy ghost--of Petavel, the usurer, who had hanged himself in the attic a
century gone by, and was known to walk its dreary corridors in search of
peace--and this wise Irish mother, calming the boys' fears with wisdom, had
told him, 'If you pray for Petavel, you'll save his soul and make him happy,
and he'll only love you.' And, thereafter, this little imaginative boy had done
so every night. With a passionate seriousness he did it. He had wonderful,
delicate ways like that. In all our hearts he made his fairy nests of wonder.
In my own, I know, he lay closer than any joy imaginable, with his big blue
eyes, his queer soft questionings, and his splendid child's unselfishness--a
sun-kissed flower of innocence that, had he lived, might have sweetened half a
world.
'Let's put more peat on,' the mother said, as a
handful of rain like stones came flinging against the windows; 'that must be
hail.' And she went on tiptoe to the inner room. 'They're sleeping like two
puddings,' she whispered, coming presently back. But it struck me she had taken
longer than to notice merely that; and her face wore an odd expression that
made me uncomfortable. I thought she was somehow just about to laugh or cry. By
the table a second she hesitated. I caught the flash of indecision as it
passed. 'Pan,' she said suddenly--it was a nickname, stolen from my tuck-up
stories, he had given me--'I wonder how Riquette got in.' She looked hard at
me. 'It wasn't you, was it?' For we never let her come at night since he had
gone. It was too poignant.
The beastie always went cuddling and nestling
into that empty bed. But this time it was not my doing, and I offered plausible
explanations. 'But--she's on the bed. Pan, would you be so kind--' She left the
sentence unfinished, but I easily understood, for a lump had somehow risen in
my own throat too, and I remembered now that she had come out from the inner
room so quickly--with a kind of hurried rush almost. I put 'mère Riquette' out
into the corridor. A lamp stood on the chair outside the door of another
occupant further down, and I urged her gently towards it.
She turned and looked at me--straight up into my
face; but, instead of going down as I suggested, she went slowly in the
opposite direction. She stepped softly towards a door in the wall that led up
broken stairs into the attics. There she sat down and waited. And so I left
her, and came back hastily to the peat fire and companionship. The wind rushed
in behind me and slammed the door.
And we talked then somewhat busily of cheerful
things; of the children's future, the excellence of the cheap Swiss schools, of
Christmas presents, ski-ing, snow, tobogganing. I led the talk away from
mournfulness; and when these subjects were exhausted I told stories of my own
adventures in distant parts of the world. But 'mother' listened the whole
time--not to me. Her thoughts were all elsewhere. And her air of intently,
secretly listening, bordered, I felt, upon the uncanny. For she often stopped
her knitting and sat with her eyes fixed upon the air before her; she stared
blankly at the wall, her head slightly on one side, her figure tense, attention
strained--elsewhere. Or, when my talk positively demanded it, her nod was oddly
mechanical and her eyes looked through and past me. The wind continued very
loud and roaring; but the fire glowed, the room was warm and cosy. Yet she
shivered, and when I drew attention to it, her reply, 'I do feel cold, but I
didn't know I shivered,' was given as though she spoke across the air to some
one else. But what impressed me even more uncomfortably were her repeated
questions about Riquette. When a pause in my tales permitted, she would look up
with 'I wonder where Riquette went?' or, thinking of the inclement night, 'I
hope mère Riquette's not out of doors. Perhaps Madame Favre has taken her in?'
I offered to go and see. Indeed I was already half-way across the room when
there came the heavy bang at the door that rooted me to the ground where I
stood.
It was not wind. It was something alive that
made it rattle. There was a second blow. A thud on the corridor boards
followed, and then a high, odd voice that at first was as human as the cry of a
child.
It is undeniable that we both started, and for
myself I can answer truthfully that a chill ran down my spine; but what
frightened me more than the sudden noise and the eerie cry was the way 'mother'
supplied the immediate explanation. For behind the words 'It's only Riquette;
she sometimes springs at the door like that; perhaps we'd better let her in,'
was a certain touch of uncanny quiet that made me feel she had known the cat
would come, and knew also why she came. One cannot explain such impressions
further. They leave their vital touch, then go their way. Into the little room,
however, in that moment there came between us this uncomfortable sense that the
night held other purposes than our own--and that my companion was aware of
them. There was something going on far, far removed from the routine of life as
we were accustomed to it. Moreover, our usual routine was the eddy, while this
was the main stream. It felt big, I mean.
And so it was that the entrance of the familiar,
friendly creature brought this thing both itself and 'mother' knew, but whereof
I as yet was ignorant. I held the door wide. The draught rushed through behind
her, and sent a shower of sparks about the fireplace. The lamp flickered and
gave a little gulp. And Riquette marched slowly past, with all the impressive
dignity of her kind, towards the other door that stood ajar. Turning the corner
like a shadow, she disappeared into the room where the two children slept. We
heard the soft thud with which she leaped upon the bed.
Then, in a lull of the wind, she came back again
and sat on the oilcloth, staring into mother's' face. She mewed and put a paw
out, drawing the black dress softly with half-opened claws. And it was all so
horribly suggestive and pathetic, it revived such poignant memories, that I got
up impulsively--I think I had actually said the words, 'We'd better put her out,
mother, after all'--.when my companion rose to her feet and orestalled me. She
said another thing instead. It took my breath away to hear it. 'She wants us to
go with her. Pan, will you come too?' The surprise on my face must have asked
the question, for I do not remember saying anything. 'To the attic,' she said
quietly.
She stood there by the table, a tall, grave
figure dressed in black, and her face above the lamp-shade caught the full
glare of light. Its expression positively stiffened me. She seemed so secure in
her singular purpose. And her familiar appearance had so oddly given place to
something wholly strange to me. She looked like another person--almost with the
unwelcome transformation of the sleep-walker about her. Cold came over me as I
watched her, for I remembered suddenly her Irish second-sight, her story years
ago of meeting a figure on the attic stairs, the figure of Petavel. And the
idea of this motherly, sedate, and wholesome woman, absorbed day and night in
prosaic domestic duties, and yet 'seeing' things, touched the incongruous
almost to the point of alarm. It was so distressingly convincing.
Yet she knew quite well that I would come.
Indeed, following the excited animal, she was already by the door, and a moment
later, still without answering or protesting, I was with them in the draughty
corridor. There was something inevitable in her manner that made it impossible
to refuse. She took the lamp from its nail on the wall, and following our
four-footed guide, who ran with obvious pleasure just in front, she opened the
door into the courtyard. The wind nearly put the lamp out, but a minute later
we were safe inside the passage that led up flights of creaky wooden stairs
towards the world of tenantless attics overhead.
And I shall never forget the way the excited
Riquette first stood up and put her paws upon the various doors, trotted ahead,
turned back to watch us coming, and then finally sat down and waited on the
threshold of the empty, raftered space that occupied the entire length of the
building underneath the roof. For her manner was more that of an intelligent
dog than of a cat, and sometimes more like that of a human mind than either.
We had come up without a single word. The
howling of the wind as we rose higher was like the roar of artillery. There
were many broken stairs, and the narrow way was full of twists and turnings. It
was a dreadful journey. I felt eyes watching us from all the yawning spaces of
the darkness, and the noise of the storm smothered footsteps everywhere. Troops
of shadows kept us company. But it was on the threshold of this big, chief
attic, when 'mother' stopped abruptly to put down the lamp, that real fear took
hold of me. For Riquette marched steadily forward into the middle of the dusty
flooring, picking her way among the fallen tiles and mortar, as though she went
towards--some one. She purred loudly and uttered little cries of excited
pleasure. Her tail went up into the air, and she lowered her head with the
unmistakable intention of being stroked.
Her lips opened and shut. Her green eyes smiled.
She was being stroked.
It was an unforgettable performance. I would
rather have witnessed an execution or a murder than watch that mysterious
creature twist and turn about in the way she did. Her magnified shadow was as
large as a pony on the floor and rafters. I wanted to hide the whole thing by
extinguishing the lamp. For, even before the mysterious action began, I
experienced the sudden rush of conviction that others besides ourselves were in
this attic--and standing very close to us indeed. And, although there was ice
in my blood, there was also a strange swelling of the heart that only love and
tenderness could bring.
But, whatever it was, my human companion, still
silent, knew and understood. She saw. And her soft whisper that ran with the
wind among the rafters, 'Il a prié pour Petavel et le bon Dieu l'a entendu,'
did not amaze me one quarter as much as the expression I then caught upon her
radiant face. Tears ran down the cheeks, but they were tears of happiness. Her
whole figure seemed lit up. She opened her arms--picture of great Motherhood,
proud, blessed, and tender beyond words. I thought she was going to fall, for
she took quick steps forward; but when I moved to catch her, she drew me aside
instead with a sudden gesture that brought fear back in the place of wonder.
'Let them pass,' she whispered grandly. 'Pan,
don't you see...He's leading him into peace and safety...by the hand I' And her
joy seemed to kill the shadows and fill the entire attic with white light.
Then, almost simultaneously with her words, she swayed. I was in time to catch
her, but as I did so, across the very spot where we had just been standing--two
figures, I swear, went past us like a flood of light.
There was a moment next of such confusion that I
did not see what happened to Riquette, for the sight of my companion kneeling
on the dusty boards and praying with a curious sort of passionate happiness,
while tears pressed between her covering fingers--the strange wonder of this
made me utterly oblivious to minor details...
We were sitting round the peat fire again, and
'mother' was saying to me in the gentlest, tenderest whisper I ever heard from
human lips--'Pan, I think perhaps that's why God took him...'
And when a little later we went in to make
Riquette cosy in the empty bed, ever since kept sacred to her use, the
mournfulness had lifted; and in the place of resignation was proud peace and
joy that knew no longer sad or selfish questionings.
In the darkest corner, where the firelight could
not reach him, he sat listening to the stories. His young hostess occupied the
corner on the other side; she was also screened by shadows; and between them
stretched the horse-shoe of eager, frightened faces that seemed all eyes.
Behind yawned the blackness of the big room, running as it were without a break
into the night.
Some one crossed on tiptoe and drew a blind up
with a rattle, and at the sound all started: through the window, opened at the
top, came a rustle of the poplar leaves that stirred like footsteps in the
wind. 'There's a strange man walking past the shrubberies,' whispered a nervous
girl; 'I saw him crouch and hide. I saw his eyes!' 'Nonsense! came sharply from
a male member of the group; 'it's far too dark to see. You heard the wind.' For
mist had risen from the river just below the lawn, pressing close against the
windows of the old house like a soft grey hand, and through it the stir of
leaves was faintly audible...Then, while several called for lights, others
remembered that hop-pickers were still about in the lanes, and the tramps this
autumn overbold and insolent. All, perhaps, wished secretly for the sun. Only
the elderly man in the corner sat quiet and unmoved, contributing nothing. He
had told no fearsome story. He had evaded, indeed, many openings expressly made
for him, though fully aware that to his well-known interest in psychical things
was partly due his presence in the week-end party. 'I never have
experiences--that way,' he said shortly when some one asked him point blank for
a tale; 'I have no unusual powers.' There was perhaps the merest hint of
contempt in his tone, but the hostess from her darkened corner quickly and
tactfully covered his retreat. And he wondered. For he knew why she invited
him. The haunted room, he was well aware, had been specially allotted to him.
And then, most opportunely, the door opened
noisily and the host came in. He sniffed at the darkness, rang at once for
lamps, puffed at his big curved pipe, and generally, by his mere presence, made
the group feel rather foolish. Light streamed past him from the corridor. His
white hair shone like silver. And with him came the atmosphere of common sense,
of shooting, agriculture, motors, and the rest. Age entered at that door. And
his young wife sprang up instantly to greet him, as though his disapproval of
this kind of entertainment might need humouring.
It may have been the light--that witchery of
half-lights from the fire and the corridor, or it may have been the abrupt
entrance of the Practical upon the soft Imaginative that traced the outline
with such pitiless, sharp conviction. At any rate, the contrast--for those who
had this inner clairvoyant sight all had been prating of so glibly!--was
unmistakably revealed. It was poignantly dramatic, pain somewhere in it--naked
pain. For, as she paused a moment there beside him in the light, this childless
wife of three years' standing, picture of youth and beauty, there stood upon
the threshold of that room the presence of a true ghost story.
And most marevellously she changed--her
lineaments, her very figure, her whole presentment. Etched against the gloom,
the delicate, unmarked face shone suddenly keen and anguished, and a rich
maturity, deeper than any mere age, flushed all her little person with its
secret grandeur. Lines started into being upon the pale skin of the girlish
face, lines of pleading, pity, and love the daylight did not show, and with
them an air of magic tenderness that betrayed, though for a second only, the
full soft glory of a motherhood denied, yet somehow mysteriously enjoyed. About
her slenderness rose all the deep-bosomed sweetness of maternity, a potential
mother of the world, and a mother, though she might know no dear fulfilment,
who yet yearned to sweep into her immense embrace all the little helpless
things that ever lived.
Light, like emotion, can play strangest tricks.
The change pressed almost upon the edge of revelation...Yet, when a moment
later lamps were brought, it is doubtful if any but the silent guest who had
told no marvellous tale, knew no psychical experience, and disclaimed the
smallest clairvoyant faculty, had received and registered the vivid, poignant
picture. For an instant it had flashed there, mercilessly clear for all to see
who were not blind to subtle spiritual wonder thick with pain. And it was not
so much mere picture of youth and age ill-matched, as of youth that yearned
with the oldest craving in the world, and of age that had slipped beyond the
power of sympathetically divining it...It passed, and all was as before.
The husband laughed with genial good-nature, not
one whit annoyed. 'They've been frightening you with stories, child,' he said
in his jolly way, and put a protective arm about her.
'Haven't they now? Tell me the truth. Much
better,' he added, 'have joined me instead at billiards, or for a game of
Patience, eh?' She looked up shyly into his face, and he kissed her on the
forehead. 'Perhaps they have--a little, dear,' she said, 'but now that you've
come, I feel all right again.' 'Another night of this,' he added in a graver
tone, 'and you'd be at your old trick of putting guests to sleep in the haunted
room. I was right after all, you see, to make it out of bounds.' He glanced
fondly, paternally down upon her. Then he went over and poked the fire into a
blaze. Some one struck up a waltz on the piano, and couples danced. All trace
of nervousness vanished, and the butler presently brought in the tray with
drinks and biscuits. And slowly the group dispersed. Candles were lit. They
passed down the passage into the big hall, talking in lowered voices of
to-morrow's plans. The laughter died away as they went up the stairs to bed,
the silent guest and the young wife lingering a moment over the embers.
'You have not, after all then, put me in your
haunted room?' he asked quietly. 'You mentioned, you remember, in your
letter--'
'I admit,' she replied at once, her manner
gracious beyond her years, her voice quite different, 'that I wanted you to
sleep there--some one, I mean, who really knows, and is not merely curious.
But--forgive my saying so--when I saw you'--she laughed very slowly--'and when
you told no marvellous story like the others, I somehow felt--'
'But I never see anything--' he put in
hurriedly.
'You feel, though,' she interrupted swiftly, the
passionate tenderness in her voice but half suppressed. 'I can tell it from
your--'
'Others, then,' he interrupted abruptly, almost
bluntly, 'have slept there--sat up, rather?'
'Not recently. My husband stopped it.' She
paused a second, then added, 'I had that room--for a year--when first we
married.'
The other's anguished look flew back upon her
little face like a shadow and was gone, while at the sight of it there rose in
himself a sudden deep rush of wonderful amazement beckoning almost towards
worship. He did not speak, for his voice would tremble.
'I had to give it up,' she finished, very low.
'Was it so terrible?' after a pause he ventured.
She bowed her head. 'I had to change,' she
repeated softly.
'And since then--now--you see nothing?' he
asked.
Her reply was singular. 'Because I will not, not
because it's gone.' ...He followed her in silence to the door, and as they
passed along the passage, again that curious great pain of emptiness, of
loneliness, of yearning rose upon him, as of a sea that never, never can swim
beyond the shore to reach the flowers that it loves...'Hurry up, child, or a
ghost will catch you,' cried her husband, leaning over the banisters, as the
pair moved slowly up the stairs towards him. There was a moment's silence when
they met.
The guest took his lighted candle and went down
the corridor. Good-nights were said again.
They moved away, she to her loneliness, he to
his unhaunted room. And at his door he turned. At the far end of the passage,
silhouetted against the candle-light, he watched them--the fine old man with
his silvered hair and heavy shoulders, and the slim young wife with that
amazing air as of some great bountiful mother of the world for whom the years
yet passed hungry and un-harvested.
They turned the corner, and he went in and
closed his door.
Sleep took him very quickly, and while the mist
rose up and veiled the countryside, something else, veiled equally for all
other sleepers in that house but two, drew on towards its climax...
Some hours later he awoke; the world was still
and it seemed the whole house listened; for with that clear vision which some
bring out of sleep, he remembered that there had been no direct denial, and of
a sudden realised that this big, gaunt chamber where he lay was after all the
haunted room. For him, however, the entire world, not merely separate rooms in
it, was ever haunted; and he knew no terror to find the space about him charged
with thronging life quite other than his own...He rose and lit the candle,
crossed over to the window where the mist shone grey, knowing that no barriers
of walls or door or ceiling could keep out this host of Presences that poured
so thickly everywhere about him. It was like a wall of being, with peering
eyes, small hands stretched out, a thousand pattering wee feet, and tiny voices
crying in a chorus very faintly and beseeching...The haunted room! Was it not,
rather, a temple vestibule, prepared and sanctified by yearning rites few men
might ever guess, for all the childless women of the world? How could she know
that he would understand--this woman he had seen but twice in all his life? And
how entrust to him so great a mystery that was her secret? Had she so easily
divined in him a similar yearning to which, long years ago, death had denied
fulfilment? Was she clairvoyant in the true sense, and did all faces bear on
them so legibly this great map that sorrow traced?...
And then, with awful suddenness, mere feelings
dipped away, and something concrete happened. The handle of the door had
faintly rattled. He turned. The round brass knob was slowly moving. And first,
at the sight, something of common fear did grip him, as though his heart had
missed a beat, but on the instant he heard the voice of his own mother, now long
beyond the stars, calling to him to go softly yet with speed. He watched a
moment the feeble efforts to undo the door, yet never afterwards could swear
that he saw actual movement, for something in him, tragic as blindness, rose
through a mist of tears and darkened vision utterly...
He went towards the door. He took the handle
very gently, and very softly then he opened it.
Beyond was darkness. He saw the empty passage,
the edge of the banisters where the great hall yawned below, and, dimly, the
outline of the Alpine photograph and the stuffed deer's head upon the wall. And
then he dropped upon his knees and opened wide his arms to something that came
in upon uncertain, viewless feet. All the young winds and flowers and dews of
dawn passed with it...filling him to the brim ...covering closely his breast
and eyes and lips. There clung to him all the small beginnings of life that
cannot stand alone...the little helpless hands and arms that have no
confidence...and when the wealth of tears and love that flooded his heart
seemed to break upon the frontiers of some mysterious yet impossible
fulfilment, he rose and went with curious small steps towards the window to
taste the cooling, misty air of that other dark Emptiness that waited so
patiently there above the entire world. He drew the sash up. The air felt soft
and tender as though there were somewhere children in it too--children of stars
and flowers, of mists and wings and music, all that the Universe contains
unborn and tiny...And when at length he turned again the door was closed. The
room was empty of any life but that which lay so wonderfully blessed within
himself. And this, he felt, had marvelously increased and multiplied...
Sleep then came back to him, and in the morning
he left the house before the others were astir, pleading some overlooked
engagement. For he had seen Ghosts indeed, but yet no ghost that he could talk
about with others round an open fire.
The word has an angry, malignant sound that
brings the idea of attack vividly into the mind. There is a vicious sting about
it somewhere--even a foreigner, ignorant of the meaning, must feel it. A hornet
is wicked; it darts and stabs; it pierces, aiming without provocation for the
face and eyes. The name suggests a metallic droning of evil wings, fierce
flight, and poisonous assault. Though black and yellow, it sounds scarlet.
There is blood in it. A striped tiger of the air in concentrated form! There is
no escape--if it attacks.
In Egypt an ordinary bee is the size of an
English hornet, but the Egyptian hornet is enormous. It is truly monstrous--an
ominous, dying terror. It shares that universal quality of the land of the
Sphinx and Pyramids--great size. It is a formidable insect, worse than scorpion
or tarantula. The Rev. James Milligan, meeting one for the first time, realized
the meaning of another word as well, a word he used prolifically in his
eloquent sermons--devil.
One morning in April, when the heat began to
bring the insects out, he rose as usual betimes and went across the wide stone
corridor to his bath. The desert already glared in through the open windows.
The heat would be afflicting later in the day, but at this early hour the cool
north wind blew pleasantly down the hotel passages. It was Sunday, and at
half-past eight o'clock he would appear to conduct the morning service for the
English visitors. The floor of the passage-way was cold beneath his feet in
their thin native slippers of bright yellow. He was neither young nor old; his
salary was comfortable; he had a competency of his own, without wife or
children to absorb it; the dry climate had been recommended to him; and--the
big hotel took him in for next to nothing. And he was thoroughly pleased with
himself, for he was a sleek, vain, pompous, well-advertised personality, but
mean as a rat. No worries of any kind were on his mind as, carrying sponge and
towel, scented soap and a bottle of Scrubb's ammonia, he travelled amiably
across the deserted, shining corridor to the bathroom. And nothing went wrong
with the Rev. James Milligan until he opened the door, and his eye fell upon a
dark, suspicious-looking object clinging to the window-pane in front of him.
And even then, at first, he felt no anxiety or
alarm, but merely a natural curiosity to know exactly what it was--this little
clot of an odd-shaped, elongated thing that stuck there on the wooden framework
six feet before his aquiline nose. He went straight up to it to see--then
stopped dead. His heart gave a distinct, unclerical leap. His lips formed
themselves into unregenerate shape. He gasped: "Good God! What is
it?" For something unholy, something wicked as a secret sin, stuck there
before his eyes in the patch of blazing sunshine. He caught his breath.
For a moment he was unable to move, as though
the sight half fascinated him. Then, cautiously and very slowly--stealthily, in
fact--he withdrew towards the door he had just entered. Fearful of making the
smallest sound, he retraced his steps on tiptoe. His yellow slippers shuffled.
His dry sponge fell, and bounded till it settled, rolling close beneath the
horribly attractive object facing him. From the safety of the open door, with
ample space for retreat behind him, he paused and stared. His entire being
focussed itself in his eyes. It was a hornet that he saw. It hung there,
motionless and threatening, between him and the bathroom door.
And at first he merely exclaimed--below his
breath--"Good God! It's an Egyptian hornet!"
Being a man with a reputation for decided
action, however, he soon recovered himself. He was well schooled in
self-control. When people left his church at the beginning of the sermon, no
muscle of his face betrayed the wounded vanity and annoyance that burned deep
in his heart. But a hornet sitting directly in his path was a very different matter.
He realized in a flash that he was poorly clothed--in a word, that he was
practically half naked.
From a distance he examined this intrusion of
the devil. It was calm and very still. It was wonderfully made, both before and
behind. Its wings were folded upon its terrible body. Long, sinuous things,
pointed like temptation, barbed as well, stuck out of it. There was poison, and
yet grace, in its exquisite presentment. Its shiny black was beautiful, and the
yellow stripes upon its sleek, curved abdomen were like the gleaming ornaments
upon some feminine body of the seductive world he preached against. Almost, he
saw an abandoned dancer on the stage. And then, swiftly in his impressionable
soul, the simile changed, and he saw instead more blunt and aggressive forms of
destruction. The well-filled body, tapering to a horrid point, reminded him of
those perfect engines of death that reduce hundreds to annihilation
unawares--torpedoes, shells, projectiles, crammed with secret, desolating
powers. Its wings, its awful, quiet head, its delicate, slim waist, its stripes
of brilliant saffron--all these seemed the concentrated prototype of
abominations made cleverly by the brain of man, and beautifully painted to
disguise their invisible freight of cruel death.
"Bah!" he exclaimed, ashamed of his
prolific imagination. "It's only a hornet after all--an insect!" And
he contrived a hurried, careful plan. He aimed a towel at it, rolled up into a
ball--but did not throw it. He might miss. He remembered that his ankles were
unprotected. Instead, he paused again, examining the black and yellow object in
safe retirement near the door, as one day he hoped to watch the world in
leisurely retirement in the country. It did not move. It was fixed and
terrible. It made no sound. Its wings were folded. Not even the black antennae,
blunt at the tips like clubs, showed the least stir or tremble. It breathed,
however. He watched the rise and fall of the evil body; it breathed air in and
out as he himself did. The creature, he realized, had lungs and heart and
organs. It had a brain! Its mind was active all this time. It knew it was being
watched. It merely waited. Any second, with a whiz of fury, and with perfect
accuracy of aim, it might dart at him and strike. If he threw the towel and
missed--it certainly would.
There were other occupants of the corridor,
however, and a sound of steps approaching gave him the decision to act. He
would lose his bath if he hesitated much longer. He felt ashamed of his
timidity, though "pusillanimity" was the word thought selected owing
to the pulpit vocabulary it was his habit to prefer. He went with extreme
caution towards the bathroom door, passing the point of danger so close that
his skin turned hot and cold. With one foot gingerly extended, he recovered his
sponge. The hornet did not move a muscle. But--it had seen him pass. It merely
waited. All dangerous insects had that trick. It knew quite well he was inside;
it knew quite well he must come out a few minutes later; it also knew quite
well that he was--naked.
Once inside the little room, he closed the door
with exceeding gentleness, lest the vibration might stir the fearful insect to
attack. The bath was already filled, and he plunged to his neck with a feeling
of comparative security. A window into the outside passage he also closed, so
that nothing could possibly come in. And steam soon charged the air and left
its blurred deposit on the glass. For ten minutes he could enjoy himself and
pretend that he was safe. For ten minutes he did so. He behaved carelessly, as
though nothing mattered, and as though all the courage in the world were his.
He splashed and soaped and sponged, making a lot of reckless noise. He got out
and dried himself. Slowly the steam subsided, the air grew clearer, he put on dressing-gown
and slippers. It was time to go out.
Unable to devise any further reason for delay,
he opened the door softly half an inch--peeped out--and instantly closed it
again with a resounding bang. He had heard a drone of wings. The insect had
left its perch and now buzzed upon the floor directly in his path. The air
seemed full of stings; he felt stabs all over him; his unprotected portions
winced with the expectancy of pain. The beast knew he was coming out, and was
waiting for him. In that brief instant he had felt its sting all over him, on
his unprotected ankles, on his back, his neck, his cheeks, in his eyes, and on
the bald clearing that adorned his Anglican head. Through the closed door he
heard the ominous, dull murmur of his striped adversary as it beat its angry
wings. Its oiled and wicked sting shot in and out with fury. Its deft legs
worked. He saw its tiny waist already writhing with the lust of battle. Ugh!
That tiny waist! A moment's steady nerve and he could have severed that cunning
body from the directing brain with one swift, well-directed thrust. But his
nerve had utterly deserted him.
Human motives, even in the professedly holy, are
an involved affair at any time. Just now, in the Rev. James Milligan, they were
inextricably mixed. He claims this explanation, at any rate, in excuse of his
abominable subsequent behaviour. For, exactly at this moment, when he had
decided to admit cowardice by ringing for the Arab servant, a step was audible
in the corridor outside, and courage came with it into his disreputable heart.
It was the step of the man he cordially "disapproved of," using the
pulpit version of "hated and despised." He had overstayed his time,
and the bath was in demand by Mr. Mullins. Mr. Mullins invariably followed him
at seven-thirty; it was now a quarter to eight. And Mr. Mullins was a wretched
drinking man--"a sot."
In a flash the plan was conceived and put into
execution. The temptation, of course, was of the devil. Mr. Milligan hid the
motive from himself, pretending he hardly recognized it. The plan was what men
call a dirty trick; it was also irresistibly seductive. He opened the door,
stepped boldly, nose in the air, right over the hideous insect on the floor,
and fairly pranced into the outer passage. The brief transit brought a hundred
horrible sensations--that the hornet would rise and sting his leg, that it
would cling to his dressing-gown and stab his spine, that he would step upon it
and die, like Achilles, of a heel exposed. But with these, and conquering them,
was one other stronger emotion that robbed the lesser terrors of their
potency--that Mr. Mullins would run precisely the same risks five seconds
later, unprepared. He heard the gloating insect buzz and scratch the oilcloth.
But it was behind him. He was safe!
"Good morning to you, Mr. Mullins," he
observed with a gracious smile. "I trust I have not kept you
waiting."
"Mornin'!" grunted Mullins sourly in
reply, as he passed him with a distinctly hostile and contemptuous air. For
Mullins, though depraved, perhaps, was an honest man, abhorring parsons and
making no secret of his opinions--whence the bitter feeling.
All men, except those very big ones who are
supermen, have something astonishingly despicable in them. The despicable thing
in Milligan came uppermost now. He fairly chuckled. He met the snub with a
calm, forgiving smile, and continued his shambling gait with what dignity he
could towards his bedroom opposite. Then he turned his head to see. His enemy
would meet an infuriated hornet--an Egyptian hornet!--and might not notice it.
He might step on it. He might not. But he was bound to disturb it, and rouse it
to attack. The chances were enormously on the clerical side. And its sting
meant death.
"May God forgive me!" ran
subconsciously through his mind. And side by side with the repentant prayer ran
also a recognition of the tempter's eternal skill: "I hope the devil it
will sting him!"
It happened very quickly. The Rev. James
Milligan lingered a moment by his door to watch. He saw Mullins, the disgusting
Mullins, step blithely into the bathroom passage; he saw him pause, shrink
back, and raise his arm to protect his face. He heard him swear aloud:
"What's the d_____d thing doing here? Have I really got 'em again?"
And then he heard him laugh--a hearty, guffawing laugh of genuine
relief--"It's real!"
The moment of revulsion was overwhelming. It
filled the churchly heart with anguish and bitter disappointment. For a space
he hated the whole race of men.
For the instant Mr. Mullins realized that the
insect was not a fiery illusion of his disordered nerves, he went forward
without the smallest hesitation. With his towel he knocked down the flying
terror. Then he stooped. He gathered up the venomous thing his well-aimed blow
had stricken so easily to the floor. He advanced with it, held at arm's length,
to the window. He tossed it out carelessly. The Egyptian hornet flew away
uninjured, and Mr. Mullins--the Mr. Mullins who drank, gave nothing to the
church, attended no services, hated parsons, and proclaimed the fact with
enthusiasm--this same Mr. Mullins went to his unearned bath without a scratch.
But first he saw his enemy standing in the doorway across the passage, watching
him--and understood. That was the awful part of it. Mullins would make a story
of it, and the story would go the round of the hotel.
The Rev. James Milligan, however, proved that
his reputation for self-control was not undeserved. He conducted morning
service half an hour later with an expression of peace upon his handsome face.
He conquered all outward sign of inward spiritual vexation; the wicked, he
consoled himself, ever flourished like green bay trees. It was notorious that
the righteous never have any luck at all! That was bad enough. But what was
worse--and the Rev. James Milligan remembered for very long--was the superior
ease with which Mullins had relegated both himself and hornet to the same level
of comparative insignificance. Mullins ignored them both--which proved that he
thought himself superior. Infinitely worse than the sting of any hornet in the
world: he really was superior.
They had been shooting all day; the weather had
been perfect and the powder straight, so that when they assembled in the
smoking-room after dinner they were well-pleased with themselves.
From discussing the day's sport and the weather
outlook, the conversation drifted to other, though still cognate, fields.
Lawson, the crack shot of the party, mentioned the instinctive recognition all
animals feel for their natural enemies, and gave several instances in which he
had tested it--tame rats with a ferret, birds with a snake, and so forth.
'Even after being domesticated for generations,'
he said, they recognise their natural enemy at once by instinct, an enemy they
can never even have seen before. It's infallible. They know instantly.'
'Undoubtedly,' said a voice from the corner
chair; 'and so do we.'
The speaker was Ericssen, their host, a great
hunter before the Lord, generally uncommunicative but a good listener, leaving
the talk to others. For this latter reason, as well as for a certain note of
challenge in his voice, his abrupt statement gained attention.
'What do you mean exactly by "so do
we"?' asked three men together, after waiting some seconds to see whether
he meant to elaborate, which he evidently did not.
'We belong to the animal kingdom, of course,'
put in a fourth, for behind the challenge there obviously lay a story, though a
story that might be difficult to drag out of him. It was.
Ericssen, who had leaned forward a moment so
that his strong, humorous face was in clear light, now sank back again into his
chair, his expression concealed by the red lampshade at his side. The light
played tricks, obliterating the humorous, almost tender, lines, while
emphasising the strength of the jaw and nose. The red glare lent to the whole a
rather grim expression.
Lawson, man of authority among them, broke the
little pause.
'You're dead right,' he observed; 'but how do
you know it?'--for John Ericssen never made a positive statement without a good
reason for it. That good reason, he felt sure, involved a personal proof, but a
story Ericssen would never tell before a general audience. He would tell it
later, however when the others had left. 'There's such a thing as instinctive
antipathy, of course,' he added, with a laugh, looking round him. 'That's what
you mean, probably.'
'I meant exactly what I said,' replied the host
bluntly. 'There's first love. There's first hate, too.'
'Hate's a strong word,' remarked Lawson.
'So is love,' put in another.
'Hate's strongest,' said Ericssen grimly. 'In
the animal kingdom, at least,' he added suggestively, and then kept his lips
closed, except to sip his liquor, for the rest of the evening--until the party
at length broke up, leaving Lawson and one other man, both old trusted friends
of many years' standing.
'It's not a tale I'd tell to everybody,' he
began, when they were alone. 'It's true, for one thing; for another, you see,
some of those good fellows'--he indicated the empty chairs with an expressive
nod of his great head--'some of 'em knew him. You both knew him too, probably.'
'The man you hated,' said the understanding
Lawson.
'And who hated me,' came the quiet confirmation.
'My other reason,' he went on, 'for keeping quiet was that the tale involves my
wife.' The two listeners said nothing, but each remembered the curiously long
courtship that had been the prelude to his marriage. No engagement had been
announced, the pair were devoted to one another, there was no known rival on
either side, yet the courtship continued without coming to its expected
conclusion. Many stories were afloat in consequence. It was a social mystery
that intrigued the gossips.
'I may tell you two,' Ericssen continued, 'the
reason my wife refused for so long to marry me. It is hard to believe, perhaps,
but it is true. Another man wished to make her his wife, and she would not
consent to marry me until that other man was dead. Quixotic, absurd,
unreasonable? If you like. I'll tell you what she said.' He looked up with a
significant expression in his face which proved that he, at least, did not now
judge her reason foolish. "'Because it would be murder," she told me.
"Another man who wants to marry me would kill you."
'She had some proof for the assertion, no
doubt?' suggested Lawson.
'None whatever,' was the reply. 'Merely her
woman's instinct. Moreover, I did not know who the other man was, nor would she
ever tell me.'
'Otherwise you might have murdered him instead?'
said Baynes, the second listener.
'I did,' said Ericssen grimly. 'But without
knowing he was the man.' He sipped his whisky and relit his pipe. The others
waited.
'Our marriage took place two months later--just after
Hazel's disappearance.'
'Hazel?' exclaimed Lawson and Baynes in a single
breath. 'Hazel! Member of the Hunters!'
His mysterious disappearance had been a nine
days' wonder some ten years ago. It had never been explained. They had all been
members of the Hunters' Club together.
'That's the chap,' Ericssen said. 'Now I'll tell
you the tale, if you care to hear it.' They settled back in their chairs to
listen, and Ericssen, who had evidently never told the affair to another living
soul except his own wife, doubtless, seemed glad this time to tell it to two
men.
'It began some dozen years ago when my brother
Jack and I came home from a shooting trip in China. I've often told you about
our adventures there, and you see the heads hanging up here in the smoking-room--some
of 'em.' He glanced round proudly at the walls. 'We were glad to be in town
again after two years' roughing it, and we looked forward to our first good
dinner at the Club, to make up for the rotten cooking we had endured so long.
We had ordered that dinner in anticipatory detail many a time together. Well,
we had it and enjoyed it up to a point-the point of the entrée, to be exact. Up
to that point it was delicious, and we let ourselves go, I can tell you. We had
ordered the very wine we had planned months before when we were snow-bound and
half starving in the mountains.' He smacked his lips as he mentioned it. 'I was
just starting on a beautifully cooked grouse,' he went on, 'when a figure went
by our table, and Jack looked up and nodded. The two exchanged a brief word of
greeting and explanation and the other man passed on. Evidently they knew each
other just enough to make a word or two necessary, but enough.
'"Who's that?" I asked.
'"A new member, named Hazel," Jack
told me. "A great shot." He knew him slightly, he explained; he had
once been a client of his--Jack was a barrister, you remember--and had defended
him in some financial case or other. Rather an unpleasant case, he added. Jack
did not care about the fellow, he told me, as he went on with his tender wing
of grouse.'
Ericssen paused to relight his pipe a moment.
'Not care about him!' he continued. 'It didn't
surprise me, for my own feeling, the instant I set eyes on the fellow, was one
of violent, instinctive dislike that amounted to loathing.
Loathing! No. I'll give it the right
word--hatred. I simply couldn't help myself; I hated the man from the very
first go off. A wave of repulsion swept over me as I followed him down the room
a moment with my eyes, till he took his seat at a distant table and was out of
sight. Ugh! He was a big, fat-faced man, with an eyeglass glued into one of his
pale-blue cod-like eyes--out of condition, ugly as a toad, with a smug
expression of intense self-satisfaction on his jowl that made me long to--'I leave
it to you to guess what I would have liked to do to him. But the instinctive
loathing he inspired in me had another aspect, too. Jack had not introduced us
during the momentary pause beside our table, but as I looked up I caught the
fellow's eye on mine--he was glaring at me instead of at Jack, to whom he was
talking--with an expression of malignant dislike, as keen evidently as my own.
That's the other aspect I meant. He hated me as violently as I hated him.
We were instinctive enemies, just as the rat and
ferret are instinctive enemies. Each recognised a mortal foe. It was a case--I
swear it--of whoever got first chance.'
'Bad as that!' exclaimed Baynes. 'I knew him by
sight. He wasn't pretty, I'll admit.'
'I knew him to nod to,' Lawson mentioned. 'I never
heard anything particular against him.'
He shrugged his shoulders.
Ericssen went on. 'It was not his character or
qualities I hated,' he said. 'I didn't even know them. That's the whole point.
There's no reason you fellows should have disliked him. My hatred--our mutual
hatred--was instinctive, as instinctive as first love. A man knows his natural
mate; also he knows his natural enemy. I did, at any rate, both with him and
with my wife. Given the chance, Hazel would have done me in; just as surely, given
the chance, I would have done him in. No blame to either of us, what's more, in
my opinion.'
'I've felt dislike, but never hatred like that,'
Baynes mentioned. 'I came across it in a book once, though. The writer did not
mention the instinctive fear of the human animal for its natural enemy, or
anything of that sort. He thought it was a continuance of a bitter feud begun
in an earlier existence. He called it memory.'
'Possibly,' said Ericssen briefly. 'My mind is
not speculative. But I'm glad you spoke of fear. I left that out. The truth is,
I feared the fellow, too, in a way; and had we ever met face to face in some
wild country without witnesses I should have felt justified in drawing on him
at sight, and he would have felt the same. Murder? If you like. I should call
it self-defence.
Anyhow, the fellow polluted the room for me. He
spoilt the enjoyment of that dinner we had ordered months before in China.'
'But you saw him again, of course, later?'
'Lots of times. Not that night, because we went
on to a theatre. But in the Club we were always running across one another--in
the houses of friends at lunch or dinner; at race-meetings; all over the place;
in fact, I even had some trouble to avoid being introduced to him. And every
time we met, our eyes betrayed us. He felt in his heart what I felt in mine.
Ugh! He was as loathsome to me as leprosy, and as dangerous. Odd, isn't it? The
most intense feeling, except love, I've ever known. I remember'--he laughed
gruffly--'I used to feel quite sorry for him. If he felt what I felt, and I'm
convinced he did, he must have suffered. His one object--to get me out of the
way for good--was so impossible. Then Fate played a hand in the game. I'll tell
you how.
'My brother died a year or two later, and I went
abroad to try and forget it. I went salmon fishing in Canada. But, though the
sport was good, it was not like the old times with Jack. The camp never felt
the same without him. I missed him badly. But I forgot Hazel for the time;
hating did not seem worth while, somehow.
'When the best of the fishing was over on the
Atlantic side I took a run back to Vancouver and fished there for a bit. I went
up the Campbell River, which was not so crowded then as it is now, and had some
rattling sport. Then I grew tired of the rod and decided to go after wapiti for
a change. I came back to Victoria and learned what I could about the best
places, and decided finally to go up the west coast of the island. By luck I
happened to pick up a good guide, who was in the town at the moment on business,
and we started off together in one of the little Canadian Pacific Railway boats
that ply along that coast.
'Outfitting two days later at a small place the
steamer stopped at, the guide said we needed another man to help pack our kit
over portages, and so forth, but the only fellow available was a Siwash of whom
he disapproved. My guide would not have him at any price; he was lazy, a
drunkard, a liar, and even worse, for on one occasion he came back without the
sportsman he had taken up country on a shooting trio, and his story was not
convincing, to say the least. These disappearances are always awkward, of
course, as you both know. We preferred, anyhow, to go without the Siwash, and
off we started.
'At first our luck was bad. I saw many wapiti,
but no good heads; only after a fortnight's hunting did I manage to get a
decent head, though even that was not so good as I should have liked.
'We were then near the head waters of a little
river that ran down into the Inlet; heavy rains had made the river rise;
running downstream was a risky job, what with old log-jams shifting and new
ones forming; and, after many narrow escapes, we upset one afternoon and had
the misfortune to lose a lot of our kit, amongst it most of our cartridges. We
could only muster a few between us. The guide had a dozen; I had two--just
enough, we considered, to take us out all right. Still, it was an infernal
nuisance. We camped at once to dry out our soaked things in front of a big
fire, and while this laundry work was going on the guide suggested my filling
in the time by taking a look at the next little valley, which ran parallel to
ours. He had seen some good heads over there a few weeks ago. Possibly I might
come upon the herd. I started at once, taking my two cartridges with me.
'It was the devil of a job getting over the
divide, for it was a badly bushed-up place, and where there were no bushes
there were boulders and fallen trees, and the going was slow and tiring. But I
got across at last and came out upon another stream at the bottom of the new
valley. Signs of wapiti were plentiful, though I never came up with a single
beast all the afternoon.
'Blacktail deer were everywhere, but the wapiti
remained invisible. Providence, or whatever you like to call that fate which
there is no escaping in our lives, made me save my two cartridges.'
Ericssen stopped a minute then, It was not to
light his pipe or sip his whisky. Nor was it because the remainder of his story
failed in the recollection of any vivid detail. He paused a moment to think.
'Tell us the lot,' pleaded Lawson. 'Don't leave
out anything.'
Ericssen looked up. His friend's remark had
helped him to make up his mind apparently. He had hesitated about something or
other, but the hesitation passed. He glanced at both his listeners.
'Right,' he said. 'I'll tell you everything. I'm
not imaginative, as you know, and my amount of superstition, I should judge, is
microscopic.' He took a longer breath, then lowered his voice a trifle.
'Anyhow,' he went on, 'it's true, so I don't see why I should feel shy about
admitting it--but as I stood there, in that lonely valley, where only the
noises of wind and water were audible, and no human being, except my guide,
some miles away, was within reach, a curious feeling came over me I find
difficult to describe. I felt'--obviously he made an effort to get the word
out--'I felt creepy.'
'You,' murmured Lawson, with an incredulous
smile--'you creepy?' he repeated under his breath.
'I felt creepy and afraid,' continued the other,
with conviction. 'I had the sensation of being seen by someone--as if someone,
I mean, was watching me. It was so unlikely that anyone was near me in that
God-forsaken bit of wilderness that I simply couldn't believe it at first. But
the feeling persisted. I felt absolutely positive somebody was not far away
among the red maples, behind a boulder, across the little stream,
perhaps--somewhere, at any rate, so near that I was plainly visible to him. It
was not an animal. It was human. Also, it was hostile.
'I was in danger.
'You may laugh, both of you, but I assure you
the feeling was so positive that I crouched down instinctively to hide myself
behind a rock. My first thought, that the guide had followed me for some reason
or other, I at once discarded. It was not the guide. It was an enemy.
'No, no, I thought of no one in particular. No
name, no face occurred to me. Merely that an enemy was on my trail, that he saw
me, and I did not see him, and that he was near enough to me to--well, to take
instant action. This deep instinctive feeling of danger, of fear, of anything
you like to call it, was simply overwhelming.
'Another curious detail I must also mention.
About half an hour before, having given up all hope of seeing wapiti, I had
decided to kill a blacktail deer for meat. A good shot offered itself, not
thirty yards away. I aimed. But just as I was going to pull the trigger a queer
emotion touched me, and I lowered the rifle. It was exactly as though a voice
said, "Don't!" I heard no voice, mind you; it was an emotion only, a
feeling, a sudden inexplicable change of mind--a warning, if you like. I didn't
fire, anyhow.
'But now, as I crouched behind that rock, I
remembered this curious little incident, and was glad I had not used up my last
two cartridges. More than that I cannot tell you. Things of that kind are new
to me. They're difficult enough to tell let alone to explain. But they were
real.
'I crouched there, wondering what on earth was
happening to me, and feeling a bit of a fool, if you want to know, when
suddenly, over the top of the boulder, I saw something moving. It was a man's
hat. I peered cautiously. Some sixty yards away the bushes parted, and two men
came out on to the river's bank, and I knew them both. One was the Siwash I had
seen at the store. The other was Hazel. Before I had time to think I cocked my
rifle.'
'Hazel. Good Lord!' exclaimed the listeners.
'For a moment I was too surprised to do anything
but cock that rifle. I waited, for what puzzled me was that, after all, Hazel
had not seen me. It was only the feeling of his beastly proximity that had made
me feel I was seen and watched by him. There was something else, too, that made
me pause before--er--doing anything. Two other things, in fact. One was that I
was so intensely interested in watching the fellow's actions. Obviously he had
the same uneasy sensation that I had. He shared with me the nasty feeling that
danger was about. His rifle, I saw, was cocked and ready; he kept looking
behind him, over his shoulder, peering this way and that, and sometimes
addressing a remark to the Siwash at his side. I caught the laughter of the
latter. The Siwash evidently did not think there was danger anywhere. It was,
of course, unlikely enough--'
'And the other thing that stopped you?' urged
Lawson, impatiently interrupting.
Ericssen turned with a look of grim humour on
his face. 'Some confounded or perverted sense of chivalry in me, I suppose,' he
said, 'that made it impossible to shoot him down in cold blood, or, rather,
without letting him have a chance. For my blood, as a matter of fact, was far
from cold at the moment. Perhaps, too, I wanted the added satisfaction of
letting him know who fired the shot that was to end his vile existence.
He laughed again. 'It was rat and ferret in the
human kingdom, he went on, 'but I wanted my rat to have a chance, I suppose.
Anyhow, though I had a perfect shot in front of me at easy distance, I did not
fire. Instead I got up, holding my cocked rifle ready, finger on trigger, and
came out of my biding-place. I called to him. "Hazel, you beast! So there
you are--at last!"
'He turned, but turned away from me, offering
his horrid back. The direction of the voice he misjudged. He pointed
down-stream, and the Siwash turned to look. Neither of them had seen me yet.
There was a big log-jam below them. The roar of the water in their ears
concealed my footsteps. I was, perhaps, twenty paces from them when Hazel, with
a jerk of his whole body, abruptly turned dean round and faced me. We stared
into each other's eyes.
'The amazement on his face changed instantly to
hatred and resolve. He acted with incredible rapidity. I think the unexpected
suddenness of his turn made me lose a precious second or two.
Anyhow he was ahead of me. He flung his rifle to
his shoulder. 'You devil!' I heard his voice.
'I've got you at last!' His rifle cracked, for
he let drive the same instant. The hair stirred just above my ear.
'He had missed!
'Before he could draw back his bolt for another
shot I had acted.
"You're not fit to live!" I shouted,
as my bullet crashed into his temple. I had the satisfaction, too, of knowing
that he heard my words. I saw the swift expression of frustrated loathing in
his eyes.
'He fell like an ox, his face splashing in the
stream. I shoved the body out. I saw it sucked beneath the log-jam instantly.
It disappeared. There could be no inquest on him, I reflected comfortably.
Hazel was gone--gone from this earth, from my hatred over at last.
The speaker paused a moment. 'Odd,' he continued
presently--'very odd indeed.' He turned to the others. 'I felt quite sorry for
him suddenly. I suppose,' he added, 'the philosophers are right when they gas
about hate being very close to love.'
His friends contributed no remark.
'Then I came away,' he resumed shortly. 'My
wife--well, you know the rest, don't you? I told her the whole thing. She--she
said nothing. But she married me, you see.'
There was a moment's silence. Baynes was the
first to break it. 'But--the Siwash?' he asked.
'The witness?' Lawson turned upon him with
something of contemptuous impatience.
'He told you he had two cartridges.'
Ericssen, smiling grimly, said nothing at all.
Dutton accepted the invitation for the feeble
reason that he was not quick enough at the moment to find a graceful excuse. He
had none of that facile brilliance which is so useful at week-end parties; he
was a big, shy, awkward man. Moreover, he disliked these great houses. They
swallowed him. The solemn, formidable butlers oppressed him. He left on Sunday
night when possible. This time, arriving with an hour to dress, he went
upstairs to an enormous room, so full of precious things that he felt like an
insignificant item in a museum corridor. He smiled disconsolately as the
underling who brought up his bag began to fumble with the lock. But, instead of
the sepulchral utterance he dreaded, a delicious human voice with an unmistakable
brogue proceeded from the stooping figure. It was positively comforting.
"It 'all be locked, sorr, but maybe ye have the key?" And they bent
together over the disreputable kit-bag, looking like a pair of ants knitting
antennae on the floor of some great cave. The giant four-poster watched them
contemptuously; mahogany cupboards wore an air of grave surprise; the gaping,
open fireplace alone could have swallowed all his easels--almost, indeed, his
little studio. This human, Irish presence was distinctly consoling--some extra
hand or other, thought Dutton, probably.
He talked a little with the lad; then, lighting
a cigarette, he watched him put the clothes away in the capacious cupboards,
noticing in particular how neat and careful he was with the little things.
Nail-scissors, silver stud-box, metal shoe-horn, and safety razor, even the
bright cigar-cutter and pencil-sharpener collected loose from the bottom of the
bag--all these he placed in a row upon the dressing-table with the glass top,
and seemed never to have done with it. He kept coming back to rearrange and put
a final touch, lingering over them absurdly. Dutton watched him with amusement,
then surprise, finally with exasperation. Would he never go? "Thank
you," he said at last; "that will do. I'll dress now. What time is
dinner?" The lad told him, but still lingered, evidently anxious to say
more. "Everything's out, I think," repeated Dutton impatiently;
"all the loose things, I mean?" The face at once turned eagerly. What
mischievous Irish eyes he had, to be sure! "I've put him all together in a
row, sorr, so that ye'll not be missing anny-thing at all," was the quick
reply, as he pointed to the ridiculous collection of little articles, and even
darted back to finger them again. He counted them one by one. And then suddenly
he added, with a touch of personal interest that was not familiarity,
"It's so easy, ye see, sorr, to lose thim small bright things in this
great room." And he was gone.
Smiling a little to himself, Dutton began to
dress, wondering how the lad had left the impression that his words meant more
than they said. He almost wished he had encouraged him to talk. "The small
bright things in this great room"--what an admirable description, almost a
criticism! He felt like a prisoner of state in the Tower. He stared about him
into the alcoves, recesses, deep embrasured windows; the tapestries and huge
curtains oppressed him; next he fell to wondering who the other guests would
be, whom he would take in to dinner, how early he could make an excuse and slip
off to bed; then, midway in these desultory thoughts, became suddenly aware of
a curiously sharp impression--that he was being watched. Somebody, quite close,
was looking at him. He dismissed the fancy as soon as it was born, putting it
down to the size and mystery of the old-world chamber; but in spite of himself
the idea persisted teasingly, and several times he caught himself turning
nervously to look over his shoulder. It was not a ghostly feeling; his nature
was not accessible to ghostly things. The strange idea, lodged securely in his
brain, was traceable, he thought, to something the Irish lad had said--grew
out, rather, of what he left unsaid. He idly allowed his imagination to
encourage it. Someone, friendly but curious, with inquisitive, peeping eyes,
was watching him. Someone very tiny was hiding in the enormous room. He laughed
about it; but he felt different. A certain big, protective feeling came over
him that he must go gently lest he tread on some diminutive living thing that
was soft as a kitten and elusive as a baby mouse. Once, indeed, out of the
corner of his eye, he fancied he saw a little thing with wings go fluttering
past the great purple curtains at the other end. It was by a window. "A
bird, or something, outside," he told himself with a laugh, yet moved
thenceforth more often than not on tiptoe. This cost him a certain effort: his
proportions were elephantine. He felt a more friendly interest now in the
stately, imposing chamber.
The dressing-gong brought him back to reality
and stopped the flow of his imagining. He shaved, and laboriously went on
dressing then; he was slow and leisurely in his movements, like many big men;
very orderly, too. But when he was ready to put in his collar stud it was
nowhere to be found. It was a worthless bit of brass, but most important; he
had only one. Five minutes ago it had been standing inside the ring of his
collar on the marble slab; he had carefully placed it there. Now it had
disappeared and left no trail. He grew warm and untidy in the search. It was
something of a business for Dutton to go on all fours. "Malicious little
beast!" he grunted, rising from his knees, his hand sore where he had
scraped it beneath the cupboard. His trouser-crease was ruined, his hair was
tumbled. He knew too well the elusive activity of similar small objects.
"It will turn up again," he tried to laugh, "if I pay it no
attention. Mall--" he abruptly changed the adjective, as though he had
nearly said a dangerous thing--"naughty little imp!" He went on
dressing, leaving the collar to the last. He fastened the cigar-cutter to this
chain, but the nail-scissors, he noticed now, had also gone. "Odd,"
he reflected, "very odd!" He looked at the place where they had been
a few minutes ago. "Odd!" he repeated. And finally, in desperation,
he rang the bell. The heavy curtains swung inwards as he said, "Come
in," in answer to the knock, and the Irish boy, with the merry, dancing
eyes, stood in the room. He glanced half nervously, half expectantly, about
him. "It'll be something ye have lost, sorr?" he said at once, as
though he knew.
"I rang," said Dutton, resenting it a
little, "to ask you if you could get me a collar stud--for this evening.
Anything will do." He did not say he had lost his own. Someone, he felt,
who was listening, would chuckle and be pleased. It was an absurd position.
"And will it be a shtud like this, sorr,
that yez wanting?" asked the boy, picking up the lost object from inside
the collar on the marble slab.
"Like that, yes," stammered the other,
utterly amazed. He had overlooked it, of course, yet it was in the identical
place where he had left it. He felt mortified and foolish. It was so obvious
that the boy grasped the situation--more, had expected it. It was as if the
stud had been taken and replaced deliberately. "Thank you," he added,
turning away to hide his face as the lad backed out--with a grin, he imagined,
though he did not see it. Almost immediately, it seemed, then he was back
again, holding out a little cardboard box containing an assortment of ugly bone
studs. Dutton felt as if the whole thing had been prepared beforehand. How
foolish it was! Yet behind it lay something real and true and--utterly
incredible!
"They won't get taken, sorr," he heard
the lad say from the doorway. "They're not nearly bright enough."
The other decided not to hear.
"Thanks," he said curtly; "they'll do nicely."
There was a pause, but the boy did not go.
Taking a deep breath, he said very quickly, as though greatly daring,
"It's only the bright and little lovely things he takes, sorr, if ye
plaze. He takes thim for his collection, and there's no stoppin' him at
all." It came out with a rush, and Dutton, hearing it, let the human thing
rise up in him. He turned and smiled.
"Oh, he takes these things for his collection,
does he?" he asked more gently.
The boy looked dreadfully shame-faced,
confession hanging on his lips. "The little bright and lovely things,
sorr, yes. I've done me best, but there's things he can't resist at all. The
bone ones is safe, though. He won't look at thim."
"I suppose he followed you across from
Ireland, eh?" the other enquired.
The lad hung his head. "I told Father
Madden," he said in a lower voice, "but it's not the least bit of
good in the wurrld." He looked as though he had been convicted of stealing
and feared to lose his place. Suddenly, lifting his blue eyes, he added,
"But if ye take no notice at all he ginrelly puts everything back in its
place agin. He only borrows thim, just for a little bit of toime. Pretend ye're
not wantin' thim at all, sorr, and back they'll come prisintly agani, brighter
than before maybe."
"I see," answered Dutton slowly.
"All right, then," he dismissed him, "and I won't say a word
downstairs. You needn't be afraid," as the lad looked his gratitude and
vanished like a flash, leaving the other with a queer and eerie feeling,
staring at the ugly bone studs. He finished dressing hurriedly and went
downstairs. He went on tiptoe out of the great room, moving delicately and with
care, lest he might tread on something very soft and tiny, almost wounded, like
a butterfly with a broken wing. And from the corners, he felt positive,
something watched him go.
The ordeal of dinner passed off well enough; the
rather heavy evening too. He found the opportunity to slip off early to bed.
The nail-scissors were in their place again. He read till midnight; nothing
happened. His hostess had told him the history of his room, inquiring kindly
after his comfort. "Some people feel rather lost in it," she said;
"I hope you found all you want," and, tempted by her choice of
words--the "lost" and "found"--he nearly told the story of
the Irish lad whose goblin had followed him across the sea and "borrowed
little bright and lovely things for his collection." But he kept his word;
he told nothing; she would only have stared, for one thing. For another, he was
bored, and therefore uncommunicative. He smiled inwardly. All that this giant
mansion could produce for his comfort and amusement were ugly bone studs, a
thieving goblin, and a vast bedroom where dead royalty had slept. Next day, at
intervals, when changing for tennis or back again for lunch, the
"borrowing" continued; the little things he needed at the moment had
disappeared. They turned up later. To ignore their disappearance was the recipe
for their recovery--invariable, too, just where he had seen them last. There
was the lost object shining in his face, propped impishly on its end, just
ready to fall upon the carpet, and ever with a quizzical, malicious air of
innocence that was truly goblin. His collar stud was the favourite; next came
the scissors and the silver pencil-sharpener.
Trains and motors combined to keep him Sunday
night, but he arranged to leave on Monday before the other guests were up, and
so got early to bed. He meant to watch. There was a merry, jolly feeling in him
that he had established quasi-friendly relations with the little Borrower. He
might even see an object go--catch it in the act of disappearing! He arranged
the bright objects in a row upon the glass-topped dressing-table opposite the
bed, and while reading kept an eye slyly on the array of tempting bait. But
nothing happened. "It's the wrong way," he realised suddenly.
"What a blunderer I am!" He turned the light out, then. Drowsiness
crept over him.
...Next day, of course, he told himself it was a
dream.
The night was very still, and through the
latticed windows stole faintly the summer moonlight. Outside the foliage
rustled a little in the wind. A night-jar called from the fields, and a secret,
furry owl made answer from the copse beyond. The body of the chamber lay in
thick darkness, but a slanting ray of moonlight caught the dressing-table and
shone temptingly upon the silver objects. "It's like setting a
night-line," was the last definite thought he remembered--when the
laughter that followed stopped suddenly, and his nerves gave a jerk that turned
him keenly alert.
From the enormous open fireplace, gaping in
darkness at the end of the room, issued a thread of delicate sound that was
softer than a feather. A tiny flurry of excitement, furtive, tentative, passed
shivering across the air. An exquisite, dainty flutter stirred the night, and
through the heavy human brain upon the great four-poster fled this picture, as
from very far away, picked out in black and silver--of a wee knight-errant
crossing the frontiers of fairyland, high mischief in his tiny, beating heart.
Pricking along over the big, thick carpet, he came towards the bed, towards the
dressing-table, intent upon bold plunder. Dutton lay motionless as a stone, and
watched and listened. The blood in his ears smothered the sound a little, but
he never lost it altogether. The flicking of a mouse's tail or whiskers could
hardly have been more gentle than this sound, more wary, circumspect, discreet,
certainly not half so artful. Yet the human being in the bed, so heavily
breathing, heard it well. Closer it came, and closer, oh, so elegant and
tender, this bold attack of a wee Adventurer from another world. It shot
swiftly past the bed. With a little flutter, delicious, almost musical, it rose
in the air before his very face and entered the pool of moonlight on the
dressing-table. Something blurred it then; the human sight grew troubled and
confused a moment; a mingling of moonlight with the reflections from the
mirror, slab of glass, and shining objects obscured clear vision somehow. For a
second Dutton lost the proper focus. There was a tiny rattle and a tiny click.
He saw that the pencil-sharpener stood balanced on the table's very edge. It
was in the act of vanishing.
But for his stupid blunder, then he might have
witnessed more. He simply could not restrain himself, it seems. He sprang, and
at the same instant the silver object fell upon the carpet. Of course his
elephantine leap made the entire table shake. But, anyhow, he was not quick
enough. He saw the reflection of a slim and tiny hand slide down into the
mirrored depths of the reflecting sheet of glass--deep, deep down, and swift as
a flash of light. This he thinks he saw, though the light, he admits, was oddly
confusing in that moment of violent and clumsy movement.
One thing, at any rate, was beyond all question;
the pencil-sharpener had disappeared. He turned the light up; he searched for a
dozen minutes, then gave it up in despair and went back to bed. Next morning he
searched again. But, having overslept himself, he did not search as thoroughly
as he might have done, for half-way through the tiresome operation the Irish
lad came in to take his bag for the train.
"Will ut be something ye've lost, sorr?"
he asked gravely.
"Oh, it's all right," Dutton answered
from the floor. "You can take the bag--and my overcoat." And in town
that day he bought another pencil-sharpener and hung it on his chain.
One night a Dream came to me and brought with
her an old and rusty key. She led me across fields and sweet smelling lanes,
where the hedges were already whispering to one another in the dark of the
spring, till we came to a huge, gaunt house with staring windows and lofty roof
half hidden in the shadows of very early morning. I noticed that the blinds
were of heavy black, and that the house seemed wrapped in absolute stillness.
"This," she whispered in my ear,
"is the House of the Past. Come with me and we will go through some of its
rooms and passages; but quickly, for I have not the key for long, and the night
is very nearly over. Yet, perchance, you shall remember!"
The key made a dreadful noise as she turned it
in the lock, and when the great door swung open into an empty hall and we went
in, I heard sounds of whispering and weeping, and the rustling of clothes, as
of people moving in their sleep and about to wake. Then, instantly, a spirit of
intense sadness came over me, drenching me to the soul; my eyes began to burn
and smart, and in my heart I became aware of a strange sensation as of the
uncoiling of something that had been asleep for ages. My whole being, unable to
resist, at once surrended itself to the spirit of deepest melancholy, and the
pain of my heart, as the Things moved and woke, became in a moment of time too
strong for words...
As we advanced, the faint voices and sobbings
fled away before us into the interior of the House, and I became conscious that
the air was full of hands held aloft, of swaying garments, of drooping tresses,
and of eyes so sad and wistful that the tears, which were already brimming in
my own, held back for wonder at the sight of such intolerable yearning.
"Do not allow this sadness to overwhelm
you," whispered the Dream at my side. "It is not often They wake.
They sleep for years and years and years. The chambers are all full, and unless
visitors such as we come to disturb them, they will never wake of their own
accord. But, when one stirs, the sleep of the others is troubled, and they too
awake, till the motion is communicated from one room to another and thus
finally throughout the whole House...Then, sometimes, the sadness is too great
to be borne, and the mind weakens. For this reason Memory gives to them the
sweetest and deepest sleep she has and she keeps this old key rusty from little
use. But, listen now," she added, holding up her hand: "do you not
hear all through the House that trembling of the air like the distant murmur of
falling water? And do you not now...perhaps...remember?"
Even before she spoke, I had already caught
faintly the beginning of a new sound; and, now, deep in the cellars beneath our
feet, and from the upper regions of the great House as well, I heard the
whispering, and the rustling and the inward stirring of the sleeping Shadows.
It rose like a chord swept softly from the huge unseen strings stretched
somewhere among the foundations of the House, and its tremblings ran gently
through its walls and ceilings. And I knew that I heard the slow awakening of
the Ghosts of the Past.
Ah, me, with what terrible inrushing of sadness
I stood with brimming eyes and listened to the faint dead voices of the long
ago...For, indeed, the whole House was awakening; and there presently rose to
my nostrils the subtle, penetrating perfume of age: of letters, long preserved,
with ink faded and ribbons pale; of scented tresses, golden and brown, laid
away, ah, how tenderly! among pressed flowers that still held the inmost
delicacy of their forgotten fragrance; the scented presence of lost memories--the
intoxicating incense of the past. My eyes o'erflowed, my heart tightened and
expanded, as I yielded myself up without reserve to these old, old influences
of sound and smell. These Ghosts of the Past--forgotten in the tumult of more
recent memories--thronged round me, took my hands in theirs, and, ever
whispering of what I had so long forgot, ever sighing, shaking from their hair
and garments the ineffable odours of the dead ages, led me through the vast
House, from room to room, from floor to floor.
And the Ghosts--were not all equally clear to
me. Some had indeed but the faintest life, and stirred me so little that they
left only an indistinct, blurred impression in the air; while others gazed half
reproachfully at me out of faded, colourless eyes, as if longing to recall
themselves to my recollection; and then, seeing they were not recognised,
floated back gently into the shadows of their room, to sleep again undisturbed
till the Final Day, when I should not fail to know them.
"Many of these have slept so long,"
said the Dream beside me, "that they wake only with the greatest
difficulty. Once awake, however, they know and remember you even though you
fail to remember them. For it is the rule in this House of the Past that,
unless you recall them distinctly, remember precisely when you knew them and
with what particular causes in your past evolution they were associated, they
cannot stay awake. Unless you remember them when your eyes meet, unless their
look of recognition is returned by you, they are obliged to go back to their
sleep, silent and sorrowful, their hands unpressed, their voices unheard, to
sleep and dream, deathless and patient, till..."
At this moment, her words died away suddenly
into the distance and I became conscious of an overpowering sensation of
delight and happiness. Something had touched me on the lips, and a strong,
sweet fire flashed down into my heart and sent the blood rushing tumultuously
through my veins. My pulses beat wildly, my skin glowed, my eyes grew tender,
and the terrible sadness of the place was instantly dispelled as if by magic.
Turning with a cry of joy, that was at once swallowed up in the chorus of
weeping and sighing round me, I looked...and instinctively stretched forth my
arms in a rapture of happiness towards...towards a vision of a Face...hair,
lips, eyes; a cloth of gold lay about the fair neck, and the old, old perfume
of the East--ye stars, how long ago--was in her breath. Her lips were again on
mine; her hair over my eyes; her arms about my neck, and the love of her
ancient soul pouring into mine out of eyes still starry and undimmed. Oh, the
fierce tumult, the untold wonder, if I could only remember!...That subtle,
mist-dispelling odour of many ages ago, once so familiar...before the Hills of
Atlantis were above the blue sea, or the sands had begun to form the bed of the
Sphinx. Yet wait; it comes back; I begin to remember. Curtain upon curtain
rises in my soul, and I can almost see beyond. But that hideous stretch of the
years, awful and sinister, thousands upon thousands...My heart shakes, and I am
afraid. Another curtain rises and a new vista, farther than the others, comes
into view, interminable, running to a point among thick mists. Lo, they too are
moving, rising, lightening. At last, I shall see...already I begin to
recall...the dusky skin...the Eastern grace, the wondrous eyes that held the
knowledge of Buddha and the wisdom of Christ before these had even dreamed of
attainment. As a dream within a dream, it steals over me again, taking
compelling possession of my whole being...the slender form...the stars in that
magical Eastern sky...the whispering winds among the palm trees...the murmur of
the river's waves and the music of the reeds where they bend and sigh in the
shallows on the golden sand. Thousands of years ago in some aeonian distance.
It fades a little and begins to pass; then seems again to rise. Ah me, that
smile of the shining teeth...those lace-veined lids. Oh, who will help me to
recall, for it is to far away, too dim, and I cannot wholly remember; though my
lips are still tingling, and my arms still outstretched, it again begins to
fade. Already there is a look of sadness too deep for words, as she realises
that she is unrecognised...she, whose mere presence could once extinguish for
me the entire universe...and she goes back slowly, mournfully, silently to her
dim, tremendous sleep, to dream and dream of the day when I must remember her
and she must come where she belongs...
She peers at me from the end of the room where
the Shadows already cover her and win her back with outstretched arms to her
age-long sleep in the House of the Past.
Trembling all over, with the strange odour still
in my nostrils and the fire in my heart, I turned away and followed my Dream up
a broad staircase into another part of the House.
As we entered the upper corridors I heard the
wind pass singing over the roof. Its music took possession of me until I felt
as though my whole body were a single heart, aching, straining, trobbing as if
it would break; and all because I heard the wind singing round the House of the
Past.
"But, remember," whispered the Dream,
answering my unspoken wonder, "that you are listening to the song it has
sung for untold ages into untold myriad ears. It carries back so appallingly
far; and in that simple dirge, profound in its terrible monotony, are the
associations and recollections of the joys, grieves, and struggles of all your
previous existence. The wind, like the sea, speaks to the inmost memory,"
she added, "and that is why its voice is one of such deep spiritual
sadness. It is the song of things for ever incomplete, unfinished,
unsatisfying."
As we passed through the vaulted rooms, I
noticed that no one stirred. There was no actual sound, only a general
impression of deep, collective breathing, like the heave of a muffled ocean.
But the rooms, I knew at once, were full to the walls, crowded, rows upon rows
...And, from the floors below, rose ever the murmur of the weeping Shadows as
they returned to their sleep, and settled down again in the silence, the
darkness, and the dust. The dust...Ah, the dust that floated in this House of
the Past, so thick, so penetrating; so fine, it filled the throat and eyes
without pain; so fragrant, it soothed the senses and stilled the heart; so
soft, it parched the tongue, without offence; yet so silently falling,
gathering, settling over everything, that the air held it like a fine mist and
the sleeping Shadows wore it for their shrouds.
"And these are the oldest," said my
Dream, "the longest asleep," pointing to the crowded rows of silent
sleepers. "None here have wakened for ages too many to count; and even if
they woke you would not know them. They are, like the others, all your own, but
they are the memories of your earliest stages along the great Path of
Evolution. Some day, though, they will awake, and you must know them, and
answer their questions, for they cannot die till they have exhausted themselves
again through you who gave them birth."
"Ah me," I thought, only half
listening to or understanding these last words, "what mothers, fathers,
brothers may then be asleep in this room; what faithful lovers, what true
friends, what ancient enemies! And to think that some day they will step forth
and confront me, and I shall meet their eyes again, claim them, know them,
forgive, and be forgiven...the memories of all my Past..."
I turned to speak to the Dream at my side, but
she was already fading into dimness, and, as I looked again, the whole House
melted away into the flush of the eastern sky, and I heard the birds singing
and saw the clouds overhead veiling the stars in the light of coming day.
It was eleven o'clock at night, and young
Marriott was locked into his room, cramming as hard as he could cram. He was a
"Fourth Year Man" at Edinburgh University and he had been ploughed
for this particular examination so often that his parents had positively
declared they could no longer supply the funds to keep him there.
His rooms were cheap and dingy, but it was the
lecture fees that took the money. So Marriott pulled himself together at last
and definitely made up his mind that he would pass or die in the attempt, and
for some weeks now he had been reading as hard as mortal man can read. He was
trying to make up for lost time and money in a way that showed conclusively he
did not understand the value of either. For no ordinary man--and Marriott was
in every sense an ordinary man--can afford to drive the mind as he had lately
been driving his, without sooner or later paying the cost.
Among the students he had few friends or
acquaintances, and these few had promised not to disturb him at night, knowing
he was at last reading in earnest. It was, therefore, with feelings a good deal
stronger than mere surprise that he heard his door-bell ring on this particular
night and realised that he was to have a visitor. Some men would simply have
muffled the bell and gone on quietly with their work. But Marriott was not this
sort. He was nervous. It would have bothered and pecked at his mind all night
long not to know who the visitor was and what he wanted. The only thing to do,
therefore, was to let him in--and out again--as quickly as possible.
The landlady went to bed at ten o'clock
punctually, after which hour nothing would induce her to pretend she heard the
bell, so Marriott jumped up from his books with an exclamation that augured ill
for the reception of his caller, and prepared to let him in with his own hand.
The streets of Edinburgh town were very still at
this late hour--it was late for Edinburgh--and in the quiet neighbourhood of
F--Street, where Marriott lived on the third floor, scarcely a sound broke the
silence. As he crossed the floor, the bell rang a second time, with unnecessary
clamour, and he unlocked the door and passed into the little hallway with
considerable wrath and annoyance in his heart at the insolence of the double
interruption.
"The fellows all know I'm reading for this
exam. Why in the world do they come to bother me at such an unearthly
hour?"
The inhabitants of the building, with himself,
were medical students, general students, poor Writers to the Signet, and some
others whose vocations were perhaps not so obvious. The stone staircase, dimly
lighted at each floor by a gas-jet that would not turn above a certain height, wound
down to the level of the street with no pretence at carpet or railing. At some
levels it was cleaner than at others. It depended on the landlady of the
particular level.
The acoustic properties of a spiral staircase
seem to be peculiar. Marriott, standing by the open door, book in hand, thought
every moment the owner of the footsteps would come into view. The sound of the
boots was so close and so loud that they seemed to travel disproportionately in
advance of their cause. Wondering who it could be, he stood ready with all
manner of sharp greetings for the man who dared thus to disturb his work. But
the man did not appear. The steps sounded almost under his nose, yet no one was
visible.
A sudden queer sensation of fear passed over
him--a faintness and a shiver down the back. It went, however, almost as soon
as it came, and he was just debating whether he would call aloud to his
invisible visitor, or slam the door and return to his books, when the cause of
the disturbance turned the corner very slowly and came into view.
It was a stranger. He saw a youngish man short
of figure and very broad. His face was the colour of a piece of chalk and the
eyes, which were very bright, had heavy lines underneath them. Though the
cheeks and chin were unshaven and the general appearance unkempt, the man was
evidently a gentleman, for he was well dressed and bore himself with a certain
air. But, strangest of all, he wore no hat, and carried none in his hand; and
although rain had been falling steadily all the evening, he appeared to have
neither overcoat nor umbrella.
A hundred questions sprang up in Marriott's mind
and rushed to his lips, chief among which was something like "Who in the
world are you?" and "What in the name of heaven do you come to me
for?" But none of these questions found time to express themselves in
words, for almost at once the caller turned his head a little so that the gas
light in the hall fell upon his features from a new angle. Then in a flash
Marriott recognised him.
"Field! Man alive! Is it you?" he
gasped.
The Fourth Year Man was not lacking in
intuition, and he perceived at once that here was a case for delicate
treatment. He divined, without any actual process of thought, that the
catastrophe often predicted had come at last, and that this man's father had
turned him out of the house. They had been at a private school together years
before, and though they had hardly met once since, the news had not failed to
reach him from time to time with considerable detail, for the family lived near
his own and between certain of the sisters there was great intimacy. Young
Field had gone wild later, he remembered hearing about it all--drink, a woman,
opium, or something of the sort--he could not exactly call to mind.
"Come in," he said at once, his anger
vanishing. "There's been something wrong, I can see. Come in, and tell me
all about it and perhaps I can help--" He hardly knew what to say, and
stammered a lot more besides. The dark side of life, and the horror of it,
belonged to a world that lay remote from his own select little atmosphere of
books and dreamings. But he had a man's heart for all that.
He led the way across the hall, shutting the
front door carefully behind him, and noticed as he did so that the other,
though certainly sober, was unsteady on his legs, and evidently much exhausted.
Marriott might not be able to pass his examinations, but he at least knew the
symptoms of starvation--acute starvation, unless he was much mistaken--when
they stared him in the face.
"Come along," he said cheerfully, and
with genuine sympathy in his voice. "I'm glad to see you. I was going to
have a bite of something to eat, and you're just in time to join me."
The other made no audible reply, and shuffled so
feebly with his feet that Marriott took his arm by way of support. He noticed
for the first time that the clothes hung on him with pitiful looseness. The
broad frame was literally hardly more than a frame. He was as thin as a
skeleton.
But, as he touched him, the sensation of
faintness and dread returned. It only lasted a moment, and then passed off and
he ascribed it not unnaturally to the distress and shock of seeing a former
friend in such a pitiful plight.
"Better let me guide you. It's shamefully
dark--this hall. I'm always complaining," he said lightly, recognising by
the weight upon his arm that the guidance was sorely needed, "but the old
cat never does anything except promise." He led him to the sofa, wondering
all the time where he had come from and how he had found out the address. It
must be at least seven years since those days at the private school when they
used to be such close friends.
"Now, if you'll forgive me for a
minute," he said, "I'll get supper ready--such as it is. And don't
bother to talk. Just take it easy on the sofa. I see you're dead tired. You can
tell me about it afterwards, and we'll make plans."
The other sat down on the edge of the sofa and
stared in silence, while Marriott got out the brown bag scones, and huge pot of
marmalade that Edinburgh students always keep in their cupboards. His eyes
shone with a brightness that suggested drugs, Marriott thought, stealing a
glance at him from behind the cupboard door. He did not like yet to take a full
square look. The fellow was in a bad way, and it would have been so like an
examination to stare and wait for explanations. Besides, he was evidently
almost too exhausted to speak. So, for reasons of delicacy--and for another
reason as well which he could not exactly formulate to himself--he let his
visitor rest apparently unnoticed, while he busied himself with the supper. He
lit the spirit lamp to make cocoa, and when the water was boiling he drew up
the table with the good things to the sofa, so that Field need not have even
the trouble of moving to a chair.
"Now, let's tuck in," he said, "and
afterwards we'll have a pipe and a chat. I'm reading for an exam, you know, and
I always have something about this time. It's jolly to have a companion."
He looked up and caught his guest's eyes
directed straight upon his own. An involuntary shudder ran through him from
head to foot. The face opposite him was deadly white and wore a dreadful
expression of pain and mental suffering.
"By Gad!" he said, jumping up, "I
quite forgot. I've got some whisky somewhere. What an ass I am. I never touch
it myself when I'm working like this."
He went to the cupboard and poured out a stiff
glass which the other swallowed at a single gulp and without any water.
Marriott watched him while he drank it, and at the same time noticed something
else as well--Field's coat was all over dust, and on one shoulder was a bit of
cobweb. It was perfectly dry; Field arrived on a soaking wet night without hat,
umbrella, or overcoat, and yet perfectly dry, even dusty. Therefore he had been
under cover. What did it all mean? Had he been hiding in the building...?
It was very strange. Yet he volunteered nothing;
and Marriott had pretty well made up his mind by this time that he would not
ask any questions until he had eaten and slept. Food and sleep were obviously
what the poor devil needed most and first he was pleased with his powers of
ready diagnosis and it would not be fair to press him till he had recovered a
bit.
They ate their supper together while the host
carried on a running one-sided conversation, chiefly about himself and his exams
and his "old cat" of a landlady, so that the guest need not utter a
single word unless he really wished to--which he evidently did not! But, while
he toyed with his food, feeling no desire to eat, the other ate voraciously. To
see a hungry man devour cold scones, stale oatcake, and brown bread laden with
marmalade was a revelation to this inexperienced student who had never known
what it was to be without at least three meals a day.
He watched in spite of himself, wondering why
the fellow did not choke in the process.
But Field seemed to be as sleepy as he was
hungry. More than once his head dropped and he ceased to masticate the food in
his mouth. Marriott had positively to shake him before he would go on with his
meal. A stronger emotion will overcome a weaker, but this struggle between the
sting of real hunger and the magical opiate of overpowering sleep was a curious
sight to the student, who watched it with mingled astonishment and alarm. He
had heard of the pleasure it was to feed hungry men, and watch them eat, but he
had never actually witnessed it and he had no idea it was like this. Field ate
like an animal--gobbled, stuffed, gorged. Marriott forgot his reading, and
began to feel something very much like a lump in his throat.
"Afraid there's been awfully little to
offer you, old man," he managed to blurt out when at length the last scone
had disappeared, and the rapid, one-sided meal was at an end. Field still made
no reply, for he was almost asleep in his seat. He merely looked up wearily and
gratefully.
"Now you must have some sleep, you
know," he continued, "or you'll go to pieces. I shall be up all night
reading for this blessed exam. You're more than welcome to my bed. To-morrow
we'll have a late breakfast and--and see what can be done--and make plans--I'm
awfully good at making plans, you know," he added with an attempt at
lightness.
Field maintained his "dead sleepy"
silence, but appeared to acquiesce, and the other led the way into the bedroom,
apologising as he did so to this half-starved son of a baronet--whose own home
was almost a palace--for the size of the room. The weary guest, however, made
no pretence of thanks or politeness. He merely steadied himself on his friend's
arm as he staggered across the room, and then, with all his clothes on, dropped
his exhausted body on the bed. In less than a minute he was to all appearances
sound asleep.
For several minutes Marriott stood in the open
door and watched him; praying devoutly that he might never find himself in a
like predicament, and then fell to wondering what he would do with his unbidden
guest on the morrow. But he did not stop long to think, for the call of his
books was imperative, and happen what might, he must see to it that he passed
that examination.
Having again locked the door into the hall, he
sat down to his books and resumed his notes on materia medica where he had left
off when the bell rang. But it was difficult for some time to concentrate his
mind on the subject. His thoughts kept wandering to the picture of that
white-faced, strange-eyed fellow, starved and dirty, lying in his clothes and
boots on the bed. He recalled their schooldays together before they had drifted
apart, and how they had vowed eternal friendship--and all the rest of it. And
now! What horrible straits to be in. How could any man let the love of
dissipation take such hold upon him?
But one of their vows together Marriott, it
seemed, had completely forgotten. Just now, at any rate, it lay too far in the
background of his memory to be recalled.
Through the half-open door--the bedroom led out
of the sitting-room and had no other door--came the sound of deep, long-drawn
breathing, the regular, steady breathing of a tired man, so tired that, even to
listen to it made Marriott almost want to go to sleep himself.
"He needed it," reflected the student,
"and perhaps it came only just in time!"
Perhaps so; for outside the bitter wind from
across the Forth howled cruelly and drove the rain in cold streams against the
window-panes, and down the deserted streets. Long before Marriott settled down
again properly to his reading, he heard distantly, as it were, through the
sentences of the book, the heavy, deep breathing of the sleeper in the next
room.
A couple of hours later, when he yawned and
changed his books, he still heard the breathing, and went cautiously up to the
door to look round.
At first the darkness of the room must have
deceived him, or else his eyes were confused and dazzled by the recent glare of
the reading lamp. For a minute or two he could make out nothing at all but dark
lumps of furniture, the mass of the chest of drawers by the wall, and the white
patch where his bath stood in the centre of the floor.
Then the bed came slowly into view. And on it he
saw the outline of the sleeping body gradually take shape before his eyes,
growing up strangely into the darkness, till it stood out in marked relief--the
long black form against the white counterpane.
He could hardly help smiling. Field had not
moved an inch. He watched him a moment or two and then returned to his books.
The night was full of the singing voices of the wind and rain.
There was no sound of traffic; no hansoms
clattered over the cobbles, and it was still too early for the milk carts. He
worked on steadily and conscientiously, only stopping now and again to change a
book, or to sip some of the poisonous stuff that kept him awake and made his
brain so active, and on these occasions Field's breathing was always distinctly
audible in the room.
Outside, the storm continued to howl, but inside
the house all was stillness. The shade of the reading lamp threw all the light
upon the littered table, leaving the other end of the room in comparative
darkness. The bedroom door was exactly opposite him where he sat. There was
nothing to disturb the worker, nothing but an occasional rush of wind against
the windows, and a slight pain in his arm.
This pain, however, which he was unable to
account for, grew once or twice very acute. It bothered him; and he tried to
remember how, and when, he could have bruised himself so severely, but without
success.
At length the page before him turned from yellow
to grey, and there were sounds of wheels in the street below. It was four
o'clock. Marriott leaned back and yawned prodigiously. Then he drew back the
curtains. The storm had subsided and the Castle Rock was shrouded in mist. With
another yawn he turned away from the dreary outlook and prepared to sleep the
remaining four hours till breakfast on the sofa. Field was still breathing heavily
in the next room, and he first tip-toed across the floor to take another look
at him.
Peering cautiously round the half-opened door
his first glance fell upon the bed now plainly discernible in the grey light of
morning. He stared hard. Then he rubbed his eyes. Then he rubbed his eyes again
and thrust his head farther round the edge of the door. With fixed eyes he
stared harder still, and harder.
But it made no difference at all. He was staring
into an empty room.
The sensation of fear he had felt when Field
first appeared upon the scene returned suddenly, but with much greater force.
He became conscious, too, that his left arm was throbbing violently and causing
him great pain. He stood wondering, and staring, and trying to collect his
thoughts.
He was trembling from head to foot.
By a great effort of the will he left the
support of the door and walked forward boldly into the room.
There, upon the bed, was the impress of a body,
where Field had lain and slept. There was the mark of the head on the pillow,
and the slight indentation at the foot of the bed where the boots had rested on
the counterpane. And there, plainer than ever--for he was closer to it--was the
breathing!
Marriott tried to pull himself together. With a
great effort he found his voice and called his friend aloud by name!
"Field! Is that you? Where are you?"
There was no reply; but the breathing continued
without interruption, coming directly from the bed. His voice had such an
unfamiliar sound that Marriott did not care to repeat his questions, but he
went down on his knees and examined the bed above and below, pulling the
mattress off finally, and taking the coverings away separately one by one. But
though the sounds continued there was no visible sign of Field, nor was there
any space in which a human being, however small, could have concealed itself.
He pulled the bed out from the wall, but the sound stayed where it was. It did
not move with the bed.
Marriott, finding self-control a little
difficult in his weary condition, at once set about a thorough search of the
room. He went through the cupboard, the chest of drawers, the little alcove
where the clothes hung--everything. But there was no sign of anyone. The small
window near the ceiling was closed; and, anyhow, was not large enough to let a
cat pass. The sitting-room door was locked on the inside; he could not have got
out that way. Curious thoughts began to trouble Marriott's mind, bringing in
their train unwelcome sensations. He grew more and more excited; he searched
the bed again till it resembled the scene of a pillow fight; he searched both
rooms, knowing all the time it was useless,--and then he searched again. A cold
perspiration broke out all over his body; and the sound of heavy breathing, all
this time, never ceased to come from the corner where Field had lain down to
sleep.
Then he tried something else. He pushed the bed
back exactly into its original position--and himself lay down upon it just
where his guest had lain. But the same instant he sprang up again in a single
bound. The breathing was close beside him, almost on his cheek, and between him
and the wall! Not even a child could have squeezed into the space.
He went back into his sitting-room, opened the
windows, welcoming all the light and air possible, and tried to think the whole
matter over quietly and clearly. Men who read too hard, and slept too little,
he knew were sometimes troubled with very vivid hallucinations. Again he calmly
reviewed every incident of the night; his accurate sensations; the vivid
details; the emotions stirred in him; the dreadful feast--no single
hallucination could ever combine all these and cover so long a period of time.
But with less satisfaction he thought of the recurring faintness, and curious
sense of horror that had once or twice come over him, and then of the violent
pains in his arm. These were quite unaccountable.
Moreover, now that he began to analyse and
examine, there was one other thing that fell upon him like a sudden revelation:
During the whole time Field had not actually uttered a single word! Yet, as
though in mockery upon his reflections, there came ever from that inner room
the sound of the breathing, long-drawn, deep, and regular. The thing was
incredible. It was absurd.
Haunted by visions of brain fever and insanity,
Marriott put on his cap and macintosh and left the house. The morning air on
Arthur's Seat would blow the cobwebs from his brain; the scent of the heather,
and above all, the sight of the sea. He roamed over the wet slopes above
Holyrood for a couple of hours, and did not return until the exercise had
shaken some of the horror out of his bones, and given him a ravening appetite
into the bargain.
As he entered he saw that there was another man
in the room, standing against the window with his back to the light. He
recognised his fellow-student Greene, who was reading for the same examination.
"Read hard all night, Marriott," he
said, "and thought I'd drop in here to compare notes and have some
breakfast. You're out early?" he added, by way of a question. Marriott
said he had a headache and a walk had helped it, and Greene nodded and said
"Ah!" But when the girl had set the steaming porridge on the table
and gone out again, he went on with rather a forced tone, "Didn't know you
had any friends who drank, Marriott?"
This was obviously tentative, and Marriott
replied drily that he did not know it either.
"Sounds just as if some chap were 'sleeping
it off' in there, doesn't it, though?" persisted the other, with a nod in
the direction of the bedroom, and looking curiously at his friend. The two men
stared steadily at each other for several seconds, and then Marriott said
earnestly--"Then you hear it too, thank God!"
"Of course I hear it. The door's open.
Sorry if I wasn't meant to."
"Oh, I don't mean that," said
Marriott, lowering his voice. "But I'm awfully relieved. Let me explain.
Of course, if you hear it too, then it's all right; but really it frightened me
more than I can tell you. I thought I was going to have brain fever, or
something, and you know what a lot depends on this exam. It always begins with
sounds, or visions, or some sort of beastly hallucination, and I--"
"Rot!" ejaculated the other
impatiently. "What are you talking about?"
"Now, listen to me, Greene," said
Marriott, as calmly as he could, for the breathing was still plainly audible,
"and I'll tell you what I mean, only don't interrupt." And thereupon
he related exactly what had happened during the night, telling everything, even
down to the pain in his arm.
When it was over he got up from the table and
crossed the room.
"You hear the breathing now plainly, don't
you?" he said. Greene said he did. "Well, come with me, and we'll
search the room together." The other, however, did not move from his chair.
"I've been in already," he said
sheepishly; "I heard the sounds and thought it was you. The door was
ajar--so I went in."
Marriott made no comment, but pushed the door
open as wide as it would go. As it opened, the sound of breathing grew more and
more distinct.
"Someone must be in there," said
Greene under his breath.
"Someone is in there, but where?" said
Marriott. Again he urged his friend to go in with him.
But Greene refused point-blank: said he had been
in once and had searched the room and there was nothing there. He would not go
in again for a good deal.
They shut the door and retired into the other
room to talk it all over with many pipes. Greene questioned his friend very
closely, but without illuminating result, since questions cannot alter facts.
"The only thing that ought to have a
proper, a logical, explanation is the pain in my arm. " said Marriott,
rubbing that member with an attempt at a smile. "It hurts so infernally
and aches all the way up. I can't remember bruising it, though."
"Let me examine it for you," said
Greene. "I'm awfully good at bones in spite of the examiners' opinion to
the contrary." It was a relief to play the fool a bit, and Marriott took
his coat off and rolled up his sleeve.
"By George, though, I'm bleeding!" he
exclaimed. "Look here! What on earth's this?"
On the forearm, quite close to the wrist, was a
thin red line. There was a tiny drop of apparently fresh blood on it. Greene
came over and looked closely at it for some minutes. Then he sat back in his
chair, looking curiously at his friend's face.
"You've scratched yourself without knowing
it," he said presently.
"There's no sign of a bruise. It must be
something else that made the arm ache."
Marriott sat very still, staring silently at his
arm as though the solution of the whole mystery lay there actually written upon
the skin.
"What's the matter? I see nothing very
strange about a scratch," said Greene, in an unconvincing sort of voice.
"It was your cuff links probably. Last night in your excitement--"
But Marriott, white to the very lips, was trying
to speak. The sweat stood in great beads on his forehead. At last he leaned
forward close to his friend's face.
"Look," he said, in a low voice that
shook a little. "Do you see that red mark? I mean underneath what you call
the scratch?"
Greene admitted he saw something or other, and
Marriott wiped the place clean with his handkerchief and told him to look again
more closely.
"Yes, I see," returned the other,
lifting his head after a moment's careful inspection. "It looks like an
old scar."
"It is an old scar," whispered
Marriott, his lips trembling. "Now it all comes back to me."
"All what?" Greene fidgeted on his
chair. He tried to laugh, but without success. His friend seemed bordering on
collapse.
"Hush! Be quiet, and--I'll tell you,"
he said. "Field made that scar."
For a whole minute the two men looked each other
full in the face without speaking.
"Field made that scar!" repeated
Marriott at length in a louder voice.
"Field! You mean--last night?"
"No, not last night. Years ago--at school,
with his knife. And I made a scar in his arm with mine." Marriott was
talking rapidly now.
"We exchanged drops of blood in each
other's cuts. He put a drop into my arm and I put one into his--"
"In the name of heaven, what for?"
"It was a boys' compact. We made a sacred
pledge, a bargain. I remember it all perfectly now. We had been reading some
dreadful book and we swore to appear to one another--I mean, whoever died first
swore to show himself to the other. And we sealed the compact with each other's
blood. I remember it all so well--the hot summer afternoon in the playground,
seven years ago--and one of the masters caught us and confiscated the
knives--and I have never thought of it again to this day--"
"And you mean--" stammered Greene.
But Marriott made no answer. He got up and
crossed the room and lay down wearily upon the sofa, hiding his face in his
hands.
Greene himself was a bit non-plussed. He left
his friend alone for a little while, thinking it all over again. Suddenly an idea
seemed to strike him. He went over to where Marriott still lay motionless on
the sofa and roused him. In any case it was better to face the matter, whether
there was an explanation or not. Giving in was always the silly exit.
"I say, Marriott," he began, as the
other turned his white face up to him. "There's no good being so upset
about it. I mean--if it's all an hallucination we know what to do. And if it
isn't--well, we know what to think, don't we?"
"I suppose so. But it frightens me horribly
for some reason," returned his friend in a hushed voice. "And that
poor devil--"
"But, after all, if the worst is true
and--and that chap has kept his promise--well, he has, that's all, isn't
it?"
Marriott nodded.
"There's only one thing that occurs to
me," Greene went on, "and that is, are you quite sure that--that he
really ate like that--I mean that he actually ate anything at all?" he
finished, blurting out all his thought.
Marriott stared at him for a moment and then
said he could easily make certain. He spoke quietly. After the main shock no
lesser surprise could affect him.
"I put the things away myself" he
said, "after we had finished. They are on the third shelf in that
cupboard. No one's touched 'em since."
He pointed without getting up, and Greene took the
hint and went over to look.
"Exactly," he said, after a brief
examination; "just as I thought. It was partly hallucination, at any rate.
The things haven't been touched. Come and see for yourself."
Together they examined the shelf. There was the
brown loaf, the plate of stale scones, the oatcake, all untouched. Even the
glass of whisky Marriott had poured out stood there with the whisky still in
it.
"You were feeding--no one," said
Greene. "Field ate and drank nothing. He was not there at all!"
"But the breathing?" urged the other
in a low voice, staring with a dazed expression on his face.
Greene did not answer. He walked over to the
bedroom, while Marriott followed him with his eyes. He opened the door, and
listened. There was no need for words. The sound of deep, regular breathing
came floating through the air. There was no hallucination about that, at any
rate. Marriott could hear it where he stood on the other side of the room.
Greene closed the door and came back.
"There's only one thing to do," he declared with decision.
"Write home and find out about him, and meanwhile come and finish your
reading in my rooms. I've got an extra bed."
"Agreed," returned the Fourth Year
Man; "there's no hallucination about that exam; I must pass that whatever happens."
And this was what they did.
It was about a week later when Marriott got the
answer from his sister. Part of it he read out to Greene--"It is
curious," she wrote, "that in your letter you should have enquired
after Field. It seems a terrible thing, but you know only a short while ago Sir
John's patience became exhausted, and he turned him out of the house, they say
without a penny. Well, what do you think? He has killed himself. At least, it
looks like suicide. Instead of leaving the house, he went down into the cellar
and simply starved himself to death...They're trying to suppress it, of course,
but I heard it all from my maid, who got it from their footman...They found the
body on the 14th and the doctor said he had died about twelve hours before...He
was dreadfully thin..."
"Then he died on the 13th," said
Greene.
Marriott nodded.
"That's the very night he came to see
you."
Marriott nodded again.
Sept. 4.--I have hunted all over London for
rooms suited to my income--£120 a year--and have at last found them. Two rooms,
without modern conveniences, it is true, and in an old, ramshackle building,
but within a stone's throw of P--Place and in an eminently respectable street.
The rent is only £25 a year. I had begun to despair when at last I found them
by chance.
The chance was a mere chance, and unworthy of
record. I had to sign a lease for a year, and I did so willingly. The furniture
from our old place in Hampshire, which has been stored so long, will just suit
them.
Oct. 1.--Here I am in my two rooms, in the
centre of London, and not far from the offices of the periodicals, where
occasionally I dispose of an article or two. The building is at the end of a
cul-de-sac. The alley is well paved and clean, and lined chiefly with the backs
of sedate and institutional-looking buildings. There is a stable in it. My own
house is dignified with the title of "Chambers ". I feel as if one
day the honour must prove too much for it, and it will swell with pride--and
fall asunder. It is very old. The floor of my sitting-room has valleys and low
hills on it, and the top of the door slants away from the ceiling with a
glorious disregard of what is usual.
They must have quarrelled--fifty years ago--and
have been going apart ever since.
Oct. 2.--My landlady is old and thin, with a
faded, dusty face. She is uncommunicative. The few words she utters seem to
cost her pain. Probably her lungs are half choked with dust. She keeps my rooms
as free from this commodity as possible, and has the assistance of a strong girl
who brings up the breakfast and lights the fire. As I have said already, she is
not communicative.
In reply to pleasant efforts on my part she
informed me briefly that I was the only occupant of the house at present. My
rooms had not been occupied for some years. There had been other gentlemen
upstairs, but they had left.
She never looks straight at me when she speaks,
but fixes her dim eyes on my middle waistcoat button, till I get nervous and
begin to think it isn't on straight, or is the wrong sort of button altogether.
Oct. 8.--My week's book is nicely kept, and so
far is reasonable. Milk and sugar 7d., bread 6d., butter 8d., marmalade 6d.,
eggs 1s. 8d., laundress 2s. 9d., oil 6d., attendance 5s.; total 12s. 2d.
The landlady has a son who, she told me, is
"somethink on a homnibus". He comes occasionally to see her. I think
he drinks, for he talks very loud, regardless of the hour of the day or night,
and tumbles about over the furniture downstairs.
All the morning I sit indoors writing--articles;
verses for the comic papers; a novel I've been "at" for three years,
and concerning which I have dreams; a children's book, in which the imagination
has free rein; and another book which is to last as long as myself, since it is
an honest record of my soul's advance or retreat in the struggle of life.
Besides these, I keep a book of poems which I use as a safety valve, and
concerning which I have no dreams whatsoever.
Between the lot I am always occupied. In the
afternoons I generally try to take a walk for my health's sake, through
Regent's Park, into Kensington Gardens, or farther afield to Hampstead Heath.
Oct. 10.--Everything went wrong to-day. I have
two eggs for breakfast. This morning one of them was bad. I rang the bell for
Emily. When she came in I was reading the paper, and, without looking up, I
said, "Egg's bad." "Oh, is it, sir?" she said; "I'll
get another one," and went out, taking the egg with her. I waited my
breakfast for her return, which was in five minutes. She put the new egg on the
table and went away. But, when I looked down, I saw that she had taken away the
good egg and left the bad one--all green and yellow--in the slop basin. I rang
again.
"You've taken the wrong egg," I said.
"Oh!" she exclaimed; "I thought
the one I took down didn't smell so very bad." In due time she returned
with the good egg, and I resumed my breakfast with two eggs, but less appetite.
It was all very trivial, to be sure, but so stupid that I felt annoyed. The
character of that egg influenced everything I did. I wrote a bad article, and
tore it up. I got a bad headache. I used bad words--to myself. Everything was
bad, so I "chucked" work and went for a long walk.
I dined at a cheap chop-house on my way back,
and reached home about nine o'clock.
Rain was just beginning to fall as I came in,
and the wind was rising. It promised an ugly night. The alley looked dismal and
dreary, and the hall of the house, as I passed through it, felt chilly as a
tomb. It was the first stormy night I had experienced in my new quarters. The
draughts were awful. They came criss-cross, met in the middle of the room, and
formed eddies and whirlpools and cold silent currents that almost lifted the
hair of my head. I stuffed up the sashes of the windows with neckties and odd
socks, and sat over the smoky fire to keep warm. First I tried to write, but
found it too cold. My hand turned to ice on the paper.
What tricks the wind did play with the old
place! It came rushing up the forsaken alley with a sound like the feet of a
hurrying crowd of people who stopped suddenly at the door. I felt as if a lot
of curious folk had arranged themselves just outside and were staring up at my
windows.
Then they took to their heels again and fled
whispering and laughing down the lane, only, however, to return with the next
gust of wind and repeat their impertinence. On the other side of my room a
single square window opens into a sort of shaft, or well, that measures about
six feet across to the back wall of another house. Down this funnel the wind
dropped, and puffed and shouted. Such noises I never heard before. Between
these two entertainments I sat over the fire in a great-coat, listening to the
deep booming in the chimney. It was like being in a ship at sea, and I almost
looked for the floor to rise in undulations and rock to and fro.
Oct. 12.--I wish I were not quite so lonely--and
so poor. And yet I love both my loneliness and my poverty. The former makes me
appreciate the companionship of the wind and rain, while the latter preserves
my liver and prevents me wasting time in dancing attendance upon women.
Poor, ill-dressed men are not acceptable
"attendants".
My parents are dead, and my only sister is--no,
not dead exactly, but married to a very rich man. They travel most of the time,
he to find his health, she to lose herself. Through sheer neglect on her part
she has long passed out of my life. The door closed when, after an absolute
silence of five years, she sent me a cheque for £50 at Christmas. It was signed
by her husband! I returned it to her in a thousand pieces and in an unstamped
envelope. So at least I had the satisfaction of knowing that it cost her
something! She wrote back with a broad quill pen that covered a whole page with
three lines, "You are evidently as cracked as ever, and rude and ungrateful
into the bargain." It had always been my special terror lest the insanity
of my father's family should leap across the generations and appear in me. This
thought haunted me, and she knew it. So after this little exchange of
civilities the door slammed, never to open again. I heard the crash it made,
and, with it, the falling from the walls of my heart of many little bits of
china with their own peculiar value--rare china, some of it, that only needed
dusting. The same walls, too, carried mirrors in which I used sometimes to see
reflected the misty lawns of childhood, the daisy chains, the wind-torn
blossoms scattered through the orchard by warm rains, the robbers' cave in the
long walk, and the hidden store of apples in the hayloft. She was my inseparable
companion then--but, when the door slammed, the mirrors cracked across their
entire length, and the visions they held vanished for ever. Now I am quite
alone. At forty one cannot begin all over again to build up careful
friendships, and all others are comparatively worthless.
Oct. 14.--My bedroom is 10 by 10. It is below
the level of the front room, and a step leads down into it. Both rooms are very
quiet on calm nights, for there is no traffic down this forsaken alley-way. In
spite of the occasional larks of the wind, it is a most sheltered strip. At its
upper end, below my windows, all the cats of the neighbourhood congregate as
soon as darkness gathers. They lie undisturbed on the long ledge of a blind
window of the opposite building, for after the postman has come and gone at
9.30, no footsteps ever dare to interrupt their sinister conclave, no step but
my own, or sometimes the unsteady footfall of the son who "is somethink on
a homnibus".
Oct. 15.--I dined at an "A.B.C." shop
on poached eggs and coffee, and then went for a stroll round the outer edge of
Regent's Park. It was ten o'clock when I got home, I counted no less than
thirteen cats, all of a dark colour, crouching under the lee side of the alley
walls. It was a cold night, and the stars shone like points of ice in a
blue-black sky. The cats turned their heads and stared at me in silence as I
passed. An odd sensation of shyness took possession of me under the glare of so
many pairs of unblinking eyes. As I fumbled with the latch-key they jumped noiselessly
down and pressed against my legs, as if anxious to be let in. But I slammed the
door in their faces and ran quickly upstairs. The front room, as I entered to
grope for the matches, felt as cold as a stone vault, and the air held an
unusual dampness.
Oct. 17.--For several days I have been working
on a ponderous article that allows no play for the fancy. My imagination
requires a judicious rein; I am afraid to let it loose, for it carries me
sometimes into appalling places beyond the stars and beneath the world. No one
realises the danger more than I do. But what a foolish thins to write here--for
there is no one to know, no one to realize! My mind of late has held unusual
thoughts, thoughts I have never had before, about medicines and drugs and the treatment
of strange illnesses. I cannot imagine their source.
At no time in my life have I dwelt upon such
ideas now constantly throng my brain. I have had no exercise lately, for the
weather has been shocking; and all my afternoons have been spent in the reading-room
of the British Museum, where I have a reader's ticket.
I have made an unpleasant discovery: there are
rats in the house. At night from my bed I have heard them scampering across the
hills and valleys of the front room, and my sleep has been a good deal
disturbed in consequence.
Oct. 19.--The landlady, I find, has a little boy
with her, probably her son's child. In fine weather he plays in the alley, and
draws a wooden cart over the cobbles. One of the wheels is off, and it makes a
most distracting noise. After putting up with it as long as possible, I found
it was getting on my nerves, and I could not write. So I rang the bell. Emily
answered it.
"Emily, will you ask the little fellow to
make less noise? It's impossible to work."
The girl went downstairs, and soon afterwards
the child was called in by the kitchen door. I felt rather a brute for spoiling
his play. In a few minutes, however, the noise began again, and I felt that he
was the brute. He dragged the broken toy with a string over the stones till the
rattling noise jarred every nerve in my body. It became unbearable, and I rang
the bell a second time.
"That noise must be put a stop to!" I
said to the girl, with decision.
"Yes, sir," she grinned, "I know;
but one of the wheels is hoff. The men in the stable offered to mend it for
'im, but he wouldn't let them. He says he likes it that way."
"I can't help what he likes. The noise must
stop. I can't write."
"Yes, sir; I'll tell Mrs. Monson."
The noise stopped for the day then.
Oct. 23.--Every day for the past week that cart
has rattled over the stones, till I have come to think of it as a huge
carrier's van with four wheels and two horses; and every morning I have been
obliged to ring the bell and have it stopped. The last time Mrs. Monson herself
came up, and said she was sorry I had been annoyed; the sounds should not occur
again. With rare discursiveness she went on to ask if I was comfortable, and
how I liked the rooms. I replied cautiously. I mentioned the rats. She said
they were mice. I spoke of the draughts. She said, "Yes, it were a
draughty 'ouse." I referred to the cats, and she said they had been as
long as she could remember. By way of conclusion, she informed me that the
house was over two hundred years old, and that the last gentleman who had
occupied my rooms was a painter who "'ad real Jimmy Bueys and Raffles
'anging all hover the walls". It took me some moments to discern that
Cimabue and Raphael were in the woman's mind.
Oct. 24.--Last night the son who is
"somethink on a homnibus" came in. He had evidently been drinking,
for I heard loud and angry voices below in the kitchen long after I had gone to
bed. Once, too, I caught the singular words rising up to me through the floor,
"Burning from top to bottom is the only thing that'll ever make this 'ouse
right." I knocked on the floor, and the voices ceased suddenly, though
later I again heard their clamour in my dreams.
These rooms are very quiet, almost too quiet
sometimes. On windless nights they are silent as the grave, and the house might
be miles in the country. The roar of London's traffic reaches me only in heavy,
distant vibrations. It holds an ominous note sometimes, like that of an
approaching army, or an immense tidal-wave very far away thundering in the
night.
Oct. 27.--Mrs. Monson, though admirably silent,
is a foolish, fussy woman. She does such stupid things. In dusting the room she
puts all my things in the wrong places. The ash-trays, which should be on the
writing-table, she sets in a silly row on the mantelpiece. The pen-tray, which
should be beside the inkstand, she hides away cleverly among the books on my
reading-desk.
My gloves she arranges daily in idiotic array
upon a half-filled bookshelf, and I always have to rearrange them on the low
table by the door. She places my ar--hair at impossible angles between the fire
and the light, and the tablecloth--the one with Trinity Hall stains--she puts
on the table in such a fashion that when I look at it I feel as if my tie and
all my clothes were on crooked and awry. She exasperates me. Her very silence
and meekness are irritating.
Sometimes I feel inclined to throw the inkstand
at her, just to bring an expression into her watery eyes and a squeak from
those colourless lips. Dear me! What violent expressions I am making use of!
How very foolish of me! And yet it almost seems as if the words were not my
own, but had been spoken into my ear--I mean, I never make use of such terms
naturally.
Oct. 30.--I have been here a month. The place
does not agree with me, I think. My headaches are more frequent and violent,
and my nerves are a perpetual source of discomfort and annoyance.
I have conceived a great dislike for Mrs.
Monson, a feeling I am certain she reciprocates.
Somehow, the impression comes frequently to me
that there are goings on in this house of which I know nothing, and which she
is careful to hide from me.
Last night her son slept in the house, and this
morning as I was standing at the window I saw him go out. He glanced up and
caught my eye. It was a loutish figure and a singularly repulsive face that I
saw, and he gave me the benefit of a very unpleasant leer. At least, so I
imagined.
Evidently I am getting absurdly sensitive to
trifles, and I suppose it is my disordered nerves making themselves felt. In
the British Museum this afternoon I noticed several people at the readers'
table staring at me and watching every movement I made. Whenever I looked up
from my books I found their eyes upon me. It seemed to me unnecessary and
unpleasant, and I left earlier than was my custom. When I reached the door I
threw back a last look into the room, and saw every head at the table turned in
my direction. It annoyed me very much, and yet I know it is foolish to take
note of such things. When I am well they pass me by. I must get more regular
exercise. Of late I have had next to none.
Nov. 2.--The utter stillness of this house is
beginning to oppress me. I wish there were other fellows living upstairs. No
footsteps ever sound overhead, and no tread ever passes my door to go up the next
flight of stairs. I am beginning to feel some curiosity to go up myself and see
what the upper rooms are like. I feel lonely here and isolated, swept into a
deserted corner of the world and forgotten...Once I actually caught myself
gazing into the long, cracked mirrors, trying to sec the sunlight dancing
beneath the trees in the orchard. But only deep shadows seemed to congregate
there now, and I soon desisted.
It has been very dark all day, and no wind
stirring. The fogs have begun. I had to use a reading-lamp all this morning.
There was no cart to be heard to-day. I actually missed it. This morning, in
the gloom and silence, I think I could almost have welcomed it. After all, the
sound is a very human one, and this empty house at the end of the alley holds
other noises that are not quite so satisfactory.
I have never once seen a policeman in the lane,
and the postmen always hurry out with no evidence of a desire to loiter.
10 p.m.--As I write this I hear no sound but the
deep murmur of the distant traffic and the low sighing of the wind. The two
sounds melt into one another. Now and again a cat raises its shrill, uncanny
cry upon the darkness. The cats are always there under my windows when the
darkness falls. The wind is dropping into the funnel with a noise like the
sudden sweeping of immense distant wings. It is a dreary night. I feel lost and
forgotten.
Nov. 3--From my windows I can see arrivals. When
anyone comes to the door I can just see the hat and shoulders and the hand on
the bell. Only two fellows have been to see me since I came here two months
ago. Both of them I saw from the window before they came tip, and heard their
voices asking if I was in. Neither of them ever came back.
I have finished the ponderous article. On
reading it through, however, I was dissatisfied with it, and drew my pencil
through almost every page. There were strange expressions and ideas in it, that
I could not explain, and viewed with amazement, not to say alarm. They did not
sound like my very own, and I could not remember having written them. Can it be
that my memory is beginning to be affected?
My pens are never to be found. That stupid old
woman puts them in a different place each day. I must give her due credit for
finding so many new hiding places; such ingenuity is wonderful. I have told her
repeatedly, but she always says, "I'll speak to Emily, sir." Emily
always says, "I'll tell Mrs. Monson, sir." Their foolishness makes me
irritable and scatters all my thoughts. I should like to stick the lost pens
into them and turn them out, blind-eyed, to be scratched and mauled by those
thousand hungry cats. Whew! What a ghastly thought! Where in the world did it
come from? Such an idea is no more my own than it is the policeman's. Yet I
felt I had to write it. It was like a voice singing in my head, and my pen
wouldn't stop till the last word was finished. What ridiculous nonsense! I must
and will restrain myself. I must take more regular exercise; my nerves and
liver plague me horribly.
Nov. 4.--I attended a curious lecture in the
French quarter on "Death", but the room was so hot and I was so weary
that I fell asleep. The only part I heard, however, touched my imagination
vividly. Speaking of suicides, the lecturer said that self-murder was no escape
from the miseries of the present, but only a preparation of greater sorrow for
the future. Suicides, he declared, cannot shirk their responsibilities so
easily. They must return to take up life exactly where they laid it so
violently down, but with the added pain and punishment of their weakness. Many
of them wander the earth in unspeakable misery till they can reclothe
themselves in the body of someone else--generally a lunatic, or weak-minded
person, who cannot resist the hideous obsession. This is their only means of
escape. Surely a weird and horrible idea! I wish I had slept all the time and
not heard it at all. My mind is morbid enough without such ghastly fancies.
Such mischievous propaganda should be stopped by the police. I'll write to the
Times and suggest it.
Good idea!
I walked home through Greek Street, Soho, and
imagined that a hundred years had slipped back into place and De Quincey was
still there, haunting the night with invocations to his "just, subtle, and
mighty" drug. His vast dreams seemed to hover not very far away. Once
started in my brain, the pictures refused to go away; and I saw him sleeping in
that cold, tenantless mansion with the strange little waif who was afraid of
its ghosts, both together in the shadows under a single horseman's cloak; or
wandering in the companionship of the spectral Anne; or, later still, on his
way to the eternal rendezvous at the foot of Great Titchfield Street, the
rendezvous she never was able to keep. What an unutterable gloom, what an
untold horror of sorrow and suffering comes over me as I try to realise
something of what that man--boy he then was--must have taken into his lonely
heart.
As I came up the alley I saw a light in the top
window, and a head and shoulders thrown in an exaggerated shadow upon the
blind. I wondered what the son could be doing up there at such an hour.
Nov. 5.--This morning, while writing, someone
came up the creaking stairs and knocked cautiously at my door. Thinking it was
the landlady, I said, "Come in!" The knock was repeated, and I cried
louder, "Come in, come in!" But no one turned the handle, and I
continued my writing with a vexed "Well, stay out, then!" under my
breath. Went on writing? I tried to, but my thoughts had suddenly dried up at
their source. I could not set down a single word. It was a dark, yellow-fog
morning, and there was little enough inspiration in the air as it was, but that
stupid woman standing just outside my door waiting to be told again to come in
roused a spirit of vexation that filled my head to the exclusion of all else.
At last I jumped up and opened the door myself.
"What do you want, and why in the world
don't you come in?" I cried out. But the words dropped into empty air.
There was no one there. The fog poured up the dingy staircase in deep yellow
coils, but there was no sign of a human being anywhere.
I slammed the door, with imprecations upon the
house and its noises, and went back to my work. A few minutes later Emily came
in with a letter.
"Were you or Mrs. Monson outside a few
minutes ago knocking at my door?"
"No, sir."
"Are you sure?"
"Mrs. Monson's gone to market, and there's
no one but me and the child in the 'ole 'ouse, and I've been washing the dishes
for the last hour, sir."
I fancied the girl's face turned a shade paler.
She fidgeted towards the door with a glance over her shoulder.
"Wait, Emily," I said, and then told
her what I had heard. She stared stupidly at me, though her eyes shifted now
and then over the articles in the room.
"Who was it?" I asked when I had come
to the end. "Mrs. Monson says it's only mice," she said, as if
repeating a learned lesson.
"Mice!" I exclaimed; "it's
nothing of the sort. Someone was feeling about outside my door. Who was it? Is
the son in the house?"
Her whole manner changed suddenly, and she
became earnest instead of evasive. She seemed anxious to tell the truth.
"Oh no, sir; there's no one in the house at
all but you and me and the child, and there couldn't 'ave been nobody at your
door. As for them knocks--" She stopped abruptly, as though she had said
too much.
"Well, what about the knocks?" I said
more gently.
"Of course," she stammered, "the
knocks isn't mice, nor the footsteps neither, but then--"
Again she came to a full halt.
"Anything wrong with the house?"
"Lor,' no, sir; the drains is
splendid!"
"I don't mean drains, girl. I mean, did
anything--anything bad ever happen here?"
She flushed up to the roots of her hair, and
then turned suddenly pale again. She was obviously in considerable distress,
and there was something she was anxious, yet afraid to tell--some forbidden
thing she was not allowed to mention.
"I don't mind what it was, only I should
like to know," I said encouragingly.
Raising her frightened eyes to my face, she
began to blurt out something about "that which 'appened once to a
gentleman that lived hupstairs", when a shrill voice calling her name
sounded below.
"Emily, Emily!" It was the returning
landlady, and the girl tumbled downstairs as if pulled backwards by a rope,
leaving me full of conjectures as to what in the world could have happened to a
gentleman upstairs that could in so curious a manner affect my ears downstairs.
Nov. 10.--I have done capital work; have
finished the ponderous article and had it accepted for the Review, and another
one ordered. I feel well and cheerful, and have had regular exercise and good
sleep; no headaches, no nerves, no liver! Those pills the chemist recommended
are wonderful. I can watch the child playing with his cart and feel no
annoyance; sometimes I almost feel inclined to join him. Even the grey-faced
landlady rouses pity in me; I am sorry for her: so worn, so weary, so oddly put
together, just like the building. She looks as if she had once suffered some
shock of terror, and was momentarily dreading another. When I spoke to her
to-day very gently about not putting the pens in the ash-tray and the gloves on
the hook-shelf she raised her faint eyes to mine for the first time, and said
with the ghost of a smile, "I'll try and re-member, sir." I felt
inclined to pat her on the back and say, "Come, cheer up and be jolly.
Life's not so bad after all." Oh! I am much better. There's nothing like
open air and success and good sleep. They build up as if by magic the portions
of the heart eaten down by despair and unsatisfied yearnings. Even to the cats
I feel friendly. When I came in at eleven o'clock to-night they followed me to
the door in a stream, and I stooped down to stroke the one nearest to me.
Bah! The brute hissed and spat, and struck at me
with her paws. The claw caught my hand and drew blood in a thin line. The
others danced sideways into the darkness, screeching, as though I had done them
an injury. I believe these cats really hate me. Perhaps they are only waiting
to be reinforced. Then they will attack me. Ha, ha! In spite of the momentary
annoyance, this fancy sent me laughing upstairs to my room.
The fire was out, and the room seemed unusually
cold. As I groped my way over to the mantelpiece to find the matches I realised
all at once that there was another person standing beside me in the darkness. I
could, of course, see nothing, but my fingers, feeling along the ledge, came
into forcible contact with something that was at once withdrawn. It was cold
and moist. I could have sworn it was somebody's hand. My flesh began to creep
instantly.
"Who's that?" I exclaimed in a loud
voice.
My voice dropped into the silence like a pebble
into a deep well. There was no answer, but at the same moment I heard someone
moving away from me across the room in the direction of the door. It was a
confused sort of footstep, and the sound of garments brushing the furniture on
the way. The same second my hand stumbled upon the match-box, and I struck a
light. I expected to see Mrs. Monson, or Emily, or perhaps the son who is
something on an omnibus. But the flare of the gas-jet illumined an empty room;
there was not a sign of a person anywhere. I felt the hair stir upon my head,
and instinctively I backed tip against the wall, lest something should approach
me from behind. I was distinctly alarmed. But the next minute I recovered myself.
The door was open on to the landing, and I crossed the room, not without some
inward trepidation, and went out. The light from the room fell upon the stairs,
but there was no one to be seen anywhere, nor was there any sound on the
creaking wooden staircase to indicate a departing creature.
I was in the act of turning to go in again when
a sound overhead caught my ear. It was a very faint sound, not unlike the sigh
of wind; yet it could not have been the wind, for the night was still as the
grave. Though it was not repeated, I resolved to go upstairs and see for myself
what it all meant. Two senses had been affected--touch and hearing--and I could
not believe that I had been deceived. So, with a lighted candle, I went
stealthily forth on my unpleasant journey into the upper regions of this queer
little old house.
On the first landing there was only one door,
and it was locked. On the second there was also only one door, but when I
turned the handle it opened. There came forth to meet me the chill musty air
that is characteristic of a long unoccupied room. With it there came an
indescribable odour. I use the adjective advisedly. Though very faint, diluted
as it were, it was nevertheless an odour that made my gorge rise. I had never
smelt anything like it before, and I cannot describe it.
The room was small and square, close under the
roof, with a sloping ceiling and two tiny windows. It was cold as the grave,
without a shred of carpet or a stick of furniture. The icy atmosphere and the
nameless odour combined to make the room abominable to me, and, after lingering
a moment to see that it contained no cupboards or corners into which a person
might have crept for concealment, I made haste to shut the door, and went
downstairs again to bed.
Evidently I had been deceived after all as to
the noise.
In the night I had a foolish but very vivid
dream. I dreamed that the landlady and another person, dark and not properly
visible, entered my room on all fours, followed by a horde of immense cats.
They attacked me as I lay in bed, and murdered me, and then dragged my body
upstairs and deposited it on the floor of that cold little square room under
the roof.
Nov. 11.--Since my talk with Emily--the
unfinished talk--I have hardly once set eyes on her. Mrs. Monson now attends
wholly to my wants. As usual, she does everything exactly as I don't like it
done. It is all too utterly trivial to mention, but it is exceedingly
irritating. Like small doses of morphine often repeated, she has finally a
cumulative effect.
Nov. 12.--This morning I woke early, and came
into the front room to get a book, meaning to read in bed till it was time to
get tip. Emily was laying the fire.
"Good morning!" I said cheerfully.
"Mind you make a good fire. It's very cold."
The girl turned and showed me a startled face.
It was not Emily at all!
"Where's Emily?" I exclaimed.
"You mean the girl as was 'ere before
me?"
"Has Emily left?"
"I came on the 6th," she replied
sullenly, "and she'd gone then." I got my book and went back to bed.
Emily must have been sent away almost immediately after our conversation. This
reflection kept coming between me and the printed page. I was glad when it was
time to get up.
Such prompt energy, such merciless decision,
seemed to argue something of importance--to somebody.
Nov. 13.--The wound inflicted by the cat's claw
has swollen, and causes me annoyance and some pain. It throbs and itches. I'm
afraid my blood must be in poor condition, or it would have healed by now. I
opened it with a penknife soaked in an antiseptic solution, and cleansed it
thoroughly. I have heard unpleasant stories of the results of wounds inflicted
by cats.
Nov. 14.--In spite of the curious effect this
house certainly exercises upon my nerves, I like it. It is lonely and deserted
in the very heart of London, but it is also for that reason quiet to work in. I
wonder why it is so cheap. Some people might he suspicious, but I did not even
ask the reason. No answer is better than a lie. If only I could remove the cats
from the outside and the rats from the inside. I feel that I shall grow
accustomed more and more to its peculiarities, and shall die here. Ah, that
expression reads queerly and gives a wrong impression: I meant live and die
here. I shall renew the lease from year to year till one of us crumbles to
pieces. From present indications the building will be the first to go.
Nov. 16.--It is abominable the way my nerves go
up and down with me--and rather discouraging. This morning I woke to find my
clothes scattered about the room, and a cane chair overturned beside the bed.
My coat and waistcoat looked just as if they had been tried on by someone in
the night. I had horribly vivid dreams, too, in which someone covering his face
with his hands kept coming close up to me, crying out as if in pain. "Where
can I find covering? Oh, who will clothe me?" How silly, and yet it
frightened me a little. It was so dreadfully real. It is now over a year since
I last walked in my sleep and woke up with such a shock on the cold pavement of
Earl's Court Road, where I then lived. I thought I was cured, but evidently
not. This discovery has rather a disquieting effect upon me. To-night I shall
resort to the old trick of tying my toe to the bed-post.
Nov. 17.--Last night I was again troubled by
most oppressive dreams. Someone seemed to be moving in the night up and down my
room, sometimes passing into the front room, and then returning to stand beside
the bed and stare intently down upon me. I was being watched by this person all
night long. I never actually awoke, though I was often very near it. I suppose
it was a nightmare from indigestion, for this morning I have one of my old vile
headaches. Yet all my clothes lay about the floor when I awoke, where they had
evidently been flung (had I so tossed them?) during the dark hours, and my
trousers trailed over the step into the front room.
Worse than this, though--I fancied I noticed
about the room in the morning that strange, fetid odour. Though very faint, its
mere suggestion is foul and nauseating. 'What in the world can it be, I
wonder?...In future I shall lock my door.
Nov. 26.--I have accomplished a lot of good work
during this past week, and have also managed to get regular exercise. I have
felt well and in an equable state of mind. Only two things have occurred to
disturb my equanimity. The first is trivial in itself, and no doubt to be
easily explained. The upper window where I saw the light on the night of
November 4, with the shadow of a large head and shoulders upon the blind, is
one of the windows in the square room under the roof. In reality it has no
blind at all!
Here is the other thing. I was coming home last
night in a fresh fall of snow about eleven o'clock, my umbrella low down over
my head. Half-way up the alley, where the snow was wholly untrodden, I saw a man's
legs in front of me. The umbrella hid the rest of his figure, but on raising it
I saw that he was tall and broad and was walking, as I was, towards the door of
my house. He could not have been four feet ahead of me. I had thought the alley
was empty when I entered it, but might of course have been mistaken very
easily.
A sudden gust of wind compelled me to lower the
umbrella, and when I raised it again, not half a minute later, there was no
longer any man to be seen. With a few more steps I reached the door. It was
closed as usual. I then noticed with a sudden sensation of dismay that the
surface of the freshly fallen snow was unbroken. My own foot-marks were the
only ones to be seen anywhere, and though I retraced my way to tile point where
I had first seen the man, I could find no slightest impression of any other
boots. Feeling creepy and uncomfortable, I went upstairs, and was glad to get
into bed.
Nov. 28.--With the fastening of my bedroom door
the disturbances ceased. I am convinced that I walked in my sleep. Probably I
untied my toe and then tied it up again. The fancied security of the locked
door would alone have been enough to restore sleep to my troubled spirit and
enable me to rest quietly.
Last night, however, the annoyance was suddenly
renewed another and more aggressive form. I woke in the darkness with the
impression that someone was standing outside my bedroom door listening. As I
became more awake the impression grew into positive knowledge.
Though there was no appreciable sound of moving or
breathing, I was so convinced of the propinquity of a listener that I crept out
of bed and approached the door. As I did so there came faintly from the next
room the unmistakable sound of someone retreating stealthily across the floor.
Yet, as I heard it, it was neither the tread of a man nor a regular footstep,
but rather, it seemed to me, a confused sort of crawling, almost as of someone
on his hands and knees.
I unlocked the door in less than a second, and
passed quickly into the front room, and I could feel, as by the subtlest
imaginable vibrations upon my nerves, that the spot I was standing in had just
that instant been vacated! The Listener had moved; he was now behind the other
door, standing in the passage. Yet this door was also closed. I moved swiftly,
and as silently as possible, across the floor, and turned the handle. A cold
rush of air met me from the passage and sent shiver after shiver down my back.
There was no one in the doorway; there was no one on the little landing; there
was no one moving down the staircase. Yet I had been so quick that this
midnight Listener could not be very far away, and I felt that if I persevered I
should eventually come face to face with him. And the courage that came so
opportunely to overcome my nervousness and horror seemed born of the unwelcome
conviction that it was somehow necessary for my safety as well as my sanity
that I should find this intruder and force his secret from him. For was it not
the intent action of his mind upon my own, in concentrated listening, that had
awakened me with such a vivid realisation of his presence?
Advancing across the narrow landing, I peered
down into the well of the little house. There was nothing to be seen; no one
was moving in the darkness. How cold the oilcloth was to my bare feet.
I cannot say what it was that suddenly drew my
eyes upwards. I only know that, without apparent reason, I looked up and saw a
person about half-way up the next turn of the stairs, leaning forward over the
balustrade and staring straight into my face. It was a man. He appeared to be
clinging to the rail rather than standing on the stairs. The gloom made it
impossible to see much beyond the general outline, but the head and shoulders
were seemingly enormous, and stood sharply silhouetted against the skylight in
the roof immediately above. The idea flashed into my brain in a moment that I
was looking into the visage of something monstrous. The huge skull, the
mane-like hair, the wide-humped shoulders, suggested, in a way I did not pause
to analyse, that which was scarcely human; and for some seconds, fascinated by
horror, I returned the gaze and stared into the dark, inscrutable countenance
above me, without knowing exactly where I was or what I was doing.
Then I realised in quite a new way that I was
face to face with the secret midnight Listener, and I steeled myself as best I
could for what was about to come.
The source of the rash courage that came to me
at this awful moment will ever be to me an inexplicable mystery. Though
shivering with fear, and my forehead wet with an unholy dew, I resolved to
advance. Twenty questions leaped to my lips: What are you? What do you want?
Why do you listen and watch? Why do you come
into my room? But none of them found articulate utterance.
I began forthwith to climb the stairs, and with
the first signs of my advance he drew himself back into the shadows and began
to move. He retreated as swiftly as I advanced. I heard the sound of his
crawling motion a few steps ahead of me, ever maintaining the same distance. When
I reached the landing he was half-way up the next flight, and when I was
half-way up the next flight he had already arrived at the top landing. I then
heard him open the door of the little square room under the roof and go in.
Immediately, though the door did not close after him, the sound of his moving
entirely ceased.
At this moment I longed for a light, or a stick,
or any weapon whatsoever; but I had none of these things, and it was impossible
to go back. So I marched steadily up the rest of the stairs, and in less than a
minute found myself standing in the gloom face to face with the door through
which this creature had just entered.
For a moment I hesitated. The door was about
half-way open, and the Listener was standing evidently in his favourite attitude
just behind it--listening. To search through that dark room for him seemed
hopeless; to enter the same small space where he was seemed horrible. The very
idea filled me with loathing, and I almost decided to turn back.
It is strange at such times how trivial things
impinge on the consciousness with a shock as of something important and
immense. Something--it may have been a beetle or a mouse--scuttled over the
bare boards behind me. The door moved a quarter of an inch, closing. My
decision came back with a sudden rush, as it were, and thrusting out a foot, I
kicked the door so that it swung sharply back to its full extent, and permitted
me to walk forward slowly into the aperture of profound blackness beyond. What
a queer soft sound my bare feet made on the boards! how the blood sang and
buzzed in my head!
I was inside. The darkness closed over me,
hiding even the windows. I began to grope my way round the walls in a thorough
search; but in order to prevent all possibility of the other's escape, I first
of all closed the door.
There we were, we two, shut in together between
four walls, within a few feet of one another.
But with what, with whom, was I thus momentarily
imprisoned? A new light flashed suddenly over the affair with a swift,
illuminating brilliance--and I knew I was a fool, an utter fool! I was wide
awake at last, and the horror was evaporating. My cursed nerves again; a dream,
a nightmare, and the old result--walking in my sleep. The figure was a
dream-figure. Many a time before had the actors in my dreams stood before me
for some moments after I was awake...
There was a chance match in my pyjamas' pocket,
and I struck it on the wall. The room was utterly empty. It held not even a
shadow. I went quickly down to bed, cursing my wretched nerves and my foolish,
vivid dreams. But as soon as ever I was asleep again, the same uncouth figure
of a man crept back to my bedside, and bending over me with his immense head
close to my ear, whispered repeatedly in my dreams, "I want your body; I
want its covering. I'm waiting for it, and listening always." Words
scarcely less foolish than the dream.
But I wonder what that queer odour was up in the
square room. I noticed it again, and stronger than ever before, and it seemed
to be also in my bedroom when I woke this morning.
Nov. 29.--Slowly, as moonbeams rise over a misty
sea in June, the thought is entering my mind that my nerves and somnambulistic
dreams do not adequately account for the influence this house exercises upon
me. It holds me as with a fine, invisible net. I cannot escape if I would. It
draws me, and it means to keep me.
Nov. 30.--The post this morning brought me a
letter from Aden, forwarded from my old rooms in Earl's Court. It was from
Chapter, my former Trinity chum, who is on his way home from the East, and asks
for my address. I sent it to him at the hotel he mentioned, "to await
arrival".
As I have already said, my windows command a
view of the alley, and I can see an arrival without difficulty. This morning,
while I was busy writing, the sound of footsteps coming up the alley filled me
with a sense of vague alarm that I could in no way account for. I went over to
the window, and saw a man standing below waiting for the door to be opened. His
shoulders were broad, his top-hat glossy, and his overcoat fitted beautifully
round the collar. All this I could see, but no more. Presently the door was
opened, and the shock to my nerves was unmistakable when I heard a man's voice
ask, "Is Mr.--still here?" mentioning my name. I could not catch the
answer, but it could only have been in the affirmative, for the man entered the
hall and the door shut to behind him. But I waited in vain for the sound of his
steps on the stairs. There was no sound of any kind. It seemed to me so strange
that I opened my door and looked out. No one was anywhere to be seen. I walked
across the narrow landing, and looked through the window that commands the
whole length of the alley. There was no sign of a human being, coming or going.
The lane was deserted. Then I deliberately
walked downstairs into the kitchen, and asked the grey-faced landlady if a
gentleman had just that minute called for me.
The answer, given with an odd, weary sort of
smile, was "No!"
Dec. 1.--I feel genuinely alarmed and uneasy
over the state of my nerves. Dreams are dreams, but never before have I had
dreams in broad daylight.
I am looking forward very much to Chapter's
arrival. He is a capital fellow, vigorous, healthy, with no nerves, and even
less imagination; and he has £2,000 a year into the bargain.
Periodically he makes me offers--the last was to
travel round the world with him as secretary, which was a delicate way of
paying my expenses and giving me some pocket-money--offers, however, which I
invariably decline. I prefer to keep his friendship. Women could not come
between us; money might--therefore I give it no opportunity. Chapter always
laughed at what he called my "fancies", being himself possessed only
of that thin-blooded quality of imagination which is ever associated with the
prosaic-minded man. Yet, if taunted with this obvious lack, his wrath is deeply
stirred. His psychology is that of the crass materialist--always a rather funny
article. It will afford me genuine relief, none the less, to hear the cold
judgment his mind will have to pass upon the story of this house as I shall
have it to tell.
Dec. 2.--The strangest part of it all I have not
referred to in this brief diary. Truth to tell, I have been afraid to set it
down in black and white. I have kept it in the background of my thoughts,
preventing it as far as possible from taking shape. In spite of my efforts,
however, it has continued to grow stronger.
Now that I come to face the issue squarely it is
harder to express than I imagined. Like a half-remembered melody that trips in
the head but vanishes the moment you try to sing it, these thoughts form a
group in the background of my mind, behind my mind, as it were, and refuse to
come forward. They are crouching ready to spring, but the actual leap never
takes place.
In these rooms, except when my mind is strongly
concentrated on my own work, I find myself suddenly dealing in thoughts and
ideas that are not my own! New, strange conceptions, wholly foreign to my
temperament, are for ever cropping up in my head. What precisely they are is of
no particular importance. The point is that they are entirely apart from the
channel in which my thoughts have hitherto been accustomed to flow. Especially
they come when my mind is at rest, unoccupied; when I'm dreaming over the fire,
or sitting with a book which fails to hold my attention. Then these thoughts
which are not mine spring into life and make me feel exceedingly uncomfortable.
Sometimes they are so strong that I almost feel as if someone were in the room
beside me, thinking aloud.
Evidently my nerves and liver are shockingly out
of order. I must work harder and take more vigorous exercise. The horrid
thoughts never come when my mind is much occupied. But they are always
there--waiting and as it were alive.
What I have attempted to describe above came
first upon me gradually after I had been some days in the house, and then grew
steadily in strength. The other strange thing has come to me only twice in all
these weeks. It appals me. It is the consciousness of the propinquity of some
deadly and loathsome disease. It comes over me like a wave of fever heat, and
then passes off, leaving me cold and trembling. The air seems for a few seconds
to become tainted. So penetrating and convincing is the thought of this
sickness, that on both occasions my brain has turned momentarily dizzy, and
through my mind, like flames of white heat, have flashed the ominous names of
all the dangerous illnesses I know. I can no more explain these visitations
than I can fly, yet I know there is no dreaming about the clammy skin and
palpitating heart which they always leave as witnesses of their brief visit.
Most strongly of all was I aware of this
nearness of a mortal sickness when, on the night of the 28th, I went upstairs
in pursuit of the listening figure. When we were shut in together in that
little square room under the roof, I felt that I was face to face with the
actual essence of this invisible and malignant disease. Such a feeling never
entered my heart before, and I pray to God it never may again.
There! Now I have confessed. I have given some
expression at least to the feelings that so far I have been afraid to see in my
own writing. For--since I can no longer deceive myself--the experiences of that
night (28th) were no more a dream than my daily breakfast is a dream; and the
trivial entry in this diary by which I sought to explain away an occurrence
that caused me unutterable horror was due solely to my desire not to
acknowledge in words what I really felt and believed to be true. The increase
that would have accrued to my horror by so doing might have been more than I
could stand.
Dec. 3.--I wish Chapter would come. My facts are
all ready marshalled, and I can see his cool, grey eyes fixed incredulously on
my face as I relate them: the knocking at my door, the well-dressed caller, the
light in the upper window and the shadow upon the blind, the man who preceded
me in the snow, the scattering of my clothes at night, Emily's arrested
confession, the landlady's suspicious reticence, the midnight listener on the
stairs, and those awful subsequent words in my sleep; and above all, and
hardest to tell, the presence of the abominable sickness, and the stream of
thoughts and ideas that are not my own.
I can see Chapter's face, and I can almost hear
his deliberate words, "You've been at the tea again, and underfeeding, I
expect, as usual. Better see my nerve doctor, and then come with me to the
south of France." For this fellow, who knows nothing of disordered liver
or high-strung nerves, goes regularly to a great nerve specialist with the
periodical belief that his nervous system is beginning to decay.
Dec. 5.--Ever since the incident of the
Listener, I have kept a night-light burning in my bedroom, and my sleep has
been undisturbed. Last night, however, I was subjected to a far worse
annoyance. I woke suddenly, and saw a man in front of the dressing-table
regarding himself in the mirror. The door was locked, as usual. I knew at once
it was the Listener, and the blood turned to ice in my veins. Such a wave of
horror and dread swept over me that it seemed to turn me rigid in the bed, and
I could neither move nor speak. I noted, however, that the odour I so abhorred
was strong in the room.
The man seemed to be tall and broad. He was
stooping forward over the mirror. His back was turned to me, but in the glass I
saw the reflection of a huge head and face illumined fitfully by the flicker of
the night-light. The spectral grey of very early morning stealing in round the
edges of the curtains lent an additional horror to the picture, for it fell
upon hair that was tawny and mane-like, hanging loosely about a face whose
swollen, rugose features bore the once seen never forgotten leonine expression
of--I dare not write down that awful word. But, byway of corroborative proof, I
saw in the faint mingling of the two lights that there were several
bronze-coloured blotches on the cheeks which the man was evidently examining
with great care in the glass. The lips were pale and very thick and large. One
hand I could not see, but the other rested on the ivory back of my hair-brush.
Its muscles were strangely contracted, the fingers thin to emaciation, the back
of the hand closely puckered up. It was like a big grey spider crouching to
spring, or the claw of a great bird.
The full realisation that I was alone in the
room with this nameless creature, almost within arm's reach of him, overcame me
to such a degree that, when he suddenly turned and regarded me with small beady
eyes, wholly out of proportion to the grandeur of their massive setting, I sat
bolt upright in bed, uttered a loud cry, and then fell back in a dead swoon of
terror upon the bed.
Dec. 5.--...When I came to this morning, the
first thing I noticed was that my clothes were strewn all over the floor...I
find it difficult to put my thoughts together, and have sudden accesses of
violent trembling. I determined that I would go at once to Chapter's hotel and
find out when he is expected. I cannot refer to what happened in the night; it
is too awful, and I have to keep my thoughts rigorously away from it. I feel
light-headed and queer, couldn't eat any breakfast, and have twice vomited with
blood. While dressing to go out, a hansom rattled up noisily over the cobbles,
and a minute later the door opened, and to my great joy in walked the very
subject of my thoughts.
The sight of his strong face and quiet eyes had
an immediate effect upon me, and I grew calmer again. His very handshake was a
sort of tonic. But, as I listened eagerly to the deep tones of his reassuring
voice, and the visions of the night-time paled a little, I began to realise how
very hard it was going to be to tell him my wild intangible tale. Some men
radiate an animal vigour that destroys the delicate woof of a vision and
effectually prevents its reconstruction.
Chapter was one of these men.
We talked of incidents that had filled the
interval since we last met, and he told me something of his travels. He talked
and I listened. But, so full was I of the horrid thing I had to tell, that I
made a poor listener. I was for ever watching my opportunity to leap in and
explode it all under his nose.
Before very long, however, it was borne in upon
me that he too was merely talking for time.
He too held something of importance in the
background of his mind, something too weighty to let fall till the right moment
presented itself. So that during the whole of the first half-hour we were both
waiting for the psychological moment in which properly to release our
respective bombs; and the intensity of our minds' action set up opposing forces
that merely sufficed to hold one another in check--and nothing more. As soon as
I realised this, therefore, I resolved to yield.
I renounced for the time my purpose of telling
my story, and had the satisfaction of seeing that his mind, released from the
restraint of my own, at once began to make preparations for the discharge of
its momentous burden. The talk grew less and less magnetic; the interest waned;
the descriptions of his travels became less alive. There were pauses between
his sentences. Presently he repeated himself. His words clothed no living
thoughts. The pauses grew longer. Then the interest dwindled altogether and
went out like a candle in the wind. His voice ceased, and he looked up squarely
into my face with serious and anxious eyes.
The psychological moment had come at last!
"I say--" he began, and then stopped
short.
I made an unconscious gesture of encouragement,
but said no word. I dreaded the impending disclosure exceedingly. A dark shadow
seemed to precede it.
"I say," he blurted out at last,
"what in the world made you ever come to this place--to these rooms, I
mean?"
"They're cheap, for one thing," I
began, "and central and--"
"They're too cheap," he interrupted.
"Didn't you ask what made 'em so cheap?"
"It never occurred to me at the time."
There was a pause in which he avoided my eyes.
"For God's sake, go on, man, and tell
it!" I cried, for the suspense was getting more than I could stand in my
nervous condition.
"This was where Blount lived so long,"
he said quietly, "and where he--died. You know, in the old days I often
used to come here and see him, and do what I could to alleviate his--" He
stuck fast again.
"Well!" I said with a great effort.
"Please go on--faster."
"But," Chapter went on, turning his
face to the window with a perceptible shiver, "he finally got so terrible
I simply couldn't stand it, though I always thought I could stand anything. It
got on my nerves and made me dream, and haunted me day and night."
I stared at him, and said nothing. I had never
heard of Blount in my life, and didn't know what he was talking about. But, all
the same, I was trembling, and my mouth had become strangely dry.
"This is the first time I've been back here
since," he said almost in a whisper, "and, 'pon my word, it gives me
the creeps. I swear it isn't fit for a man to live in. I never saw you look so
bad, old man."
"I've got it for a year," I jerked
out, with a forced laugh; "signed the lease and all. I thought it was
rather a bargain."
Chapter shuddered, and buttoned his overcoat up
to his neck. Then he spoke in a low voice, looking occasionally behind him as
though he thought someone was listening. I too could have sworn someone else
was in the room with us.
"He did it himself, you know, and no one
blamed him a bit; his sufferings were awful. For the last two years he used to
wear a veil when he went out, and even then it was always in a closed carriage.
Even the attendant who had nursed him for so long was at length obliged to
leave. The extremities of both the lower limbs were gone, dropped off, and he
moved about the ground on all fours with a sort of crawling motion. The odour,
too, was--"
I was obliged to interrupt him here. I could
hear no more details of that sort. My skin was moist, I felt hot and cold by
turns, for at last I was beginning to understand.
"Poor devil," Chapter went on; "I
used to keep my eyes closed as much as possible. He always begged to be allowed
to take his veil off, and asked if I minded very much. I used to stand by the
open window. He never touched me, though. He rented the whole house. Nothing
would induce him to leave it."
"Did he occupy--these very rooms?"
"No. He had the little room on the top
floor, the square one just under the roof. He preferred it because it was dark.
These rooms were too near the ground, and he was afraid people might see him
through the windows. A crowd had been known to follow him up to the very door,
and then stand below the windows in the hope of catching a glimpse of his
face."
"But there were hospitals."
"He wouldn't go near one, and they didn't
like to force him. You know, they say it's not contagious, so there was nothing
to prevent his staying here if he wanted to. He spent all his time reading
medical books, about drugs and so on. His head and face were something appalling,
just like a lion's."
I held up my hand to arrest further description.
"He was a burden to the world, and he knew
it. One night I suppose he realised it too keenly to wish to live. He had the
free use of drugs--and in the morning he was found dead on the floor. Two years
ago, that was, and they said then he had still several years to live."
"Then, in Heaven's name!" I cried,
unable to bear the suspense any longer, "tell me what it was he had, and
be quick about it."
"I thought you knew!" he exclaimed,
with genuine surprise. "I thought you knew!"
He leaned forward and our eyes met. In a
scarcely audible whisper I caught the words his lips seemed almost afraid to
utter:
"He was a leper!"
Besides the departmental men on the New York
Vulture, there were about twenty reporters for general duty, and Williams had
worked his way up till he stood easily among the first half-dozen; for, in
addition to being accurate and painstaking, he was able to bring to his reports
of common things that touch of imagination and humour which just lifted them
out of the rut of mere faithful recording. Moreover, the city editor (anglice
news editor) appreciated his powers, and always tried to give him assignments
that did himself and the paper credit, and he was justified now in expecting to
be relieved of the hack jobs that were usually allotted to new men.
He was therefore puzzled and a little
disappointed one morning as he saw his inferiors summoned one after another to
the news desk to receive the best assignments of the day, and when at length
his turn came, and the city editor asked him to cover "the Hensig
story" he gave a little start of vexation that almost betrayed him into
asking what the devil "the Hensig story" was. For it is the duty of
every morning newspaper man--in New York at least--to have made himself
familiar with all the news of the day before he shows himself at the office,
and though Williams had already done this, he could not recall either the name
or the story.
"You can run to a hundred or a hundred and
fifty, Mr. Williams. Cover the trial thoroughly, and get good interviews with
Hensig and the lawyers. There'll be no night assignment for you till the case
is over."
Williams was going to ask if there were any
private "tips" from the District Attorney's office, but the editor
was already speaking with Weekes, who wrote the daily "weather
story", and he went back slowly to his desk, angry and disappointed, to
read up the Hensig case and lay his plans for the day accordingly. At any rate,
he reflected, it looked like "a soft job", and as there was to be no
second assignment for him that night, he would get off by eight o'clock, and be
able to dine and sleep for once like a civilised man. And that was something.
It took him some time, however, to discover that
the Hensig case was only a murder story.
And this increased his disgust. It was tucked
away in the corners of most of the papers, and little importance was attached to
it. A murder trial is not first-class news unless there are very special
features connected with it, and Williams had already covered scores of them.
There was a heavy sameness about them that made it difficult to report them
interestingly, and as a rule they were left to the tender mercies of the
"flimsy" men--the Press Associations--and no paper sent a special man
unless the case was distinctly out of the usual. Moreover, a hundred and fifty
meant a column and a half, and Williams, not being a space man, earned the same
money whether he wrote a stickful or a page; so that he felt doubly aggrieved,
and walked out into the sunny open spaces opposite Newspaper Row heaving a deep
sigh and cursing the boredom of his trade.
Max Hensig, he found, was a German doctor
accused of murdering his second wife by injecting arsenic. The woman had been
buried several weeks when the suspicious relatives got the body exhumed, and a
quantity of the poison had been found in her. Williams recalled something about
the arrest, now he came to think of it; but he felt no special interest in it,
for ordinary murder trials were no longer his legitimate work, and he scorned
them. At first, of course, they had thrilled him horribly, and some of his
interviews with the prisoners, especially just before execution, had deeply
impressed his imagination and kept him awake o' nights. Even now he could not
enter the gloomy Tombs Prison, or cross the Bridge of Sighs leading from it to
the courts, without experiencing a real sensation, for its huge Egyptian
columns and massive walls closed round him like death; and the first time he
walked down Murderers' Row, and came in view of the cell doors, his throat was
dry, and he had almost turned and run out of the building.
The first time, too, that he covered the trial
of a Negro and listened to the man's hysterical speech before sentence was
pronounced, he was absorbed with interest, and his heart leaped. The wild
appeals to the Deity, the long invented words, the ghastly pallor under the
black skin, the rolling eyes, and the torrential sentences all seemed to him to
be something tremendous to describe for his sensational sheet; and the stickful
that was eventually printed--written by the flimsy man too--had given him quite
a new standard of the relative value of news and of the quality of the satiated
public palate. He had reported the trials of a Chinaman, stolid as wood; of an
Italian who had been too quick with his knife; and of a farm girl who had done
both her parents to death in their beds, entering their room stark naked, so
that no stains should betray her; and at the beginning these things haunted him
for days.
But that was all months ago, when he first came
to New York. Since then his work had been steadily in the criminal courts, and
he had grown a second skin. An execution in the electric chair at Sing Sing
could still unnerve him somewhat, but mere murder no longer thrilled or excited
him, and he could be thoroughly depended on to write a good "murder
story"--an account that his paper could print without blue pencil.
Accordingly he entered the Tombs Prison with
nothing stronger than the feeling of vague oppression that gloomy structure
always stirred in him, and certainly with no particular emotion connected with
the prisoner he was about to interview; and when he reached the second iron
door, where a warder peered at him through a small grating, he heard a voice
behind him, and turned to find the Chronicle man at his heels.
"Hullo, Senator! What good trail are you
following down here?" he cried, for the other got no small assignments,
and never had less than a column on the Chronicle front page at space rates.
"Same as you, I guess--Hensig," was
the reply.
"But there's no space in Hensig," said
Williams with surprise. "Are you back on salary again?"
"Not much," laughed the Senator--no
one knew his real name, but he was always called Senator. "But Hensig's
good for two hundred easy. There's a whole list of murders behind him, we hear,
and this is the first time he's been caught."
"Poison?"
The Senator nodded in reply, turning to ask the
warder some question about another case, and Williams waited for him in the
corridor, impatiently rather, for he loathed the musty prison odour. He watched
the Senator as he talked, and was distinctly glad he had come. They were good
friends: he had helped Williams when he first joined the small army of
newspaper men and was not much welcomed, being an Englishman. Common origin and
goodheartedness mixed themselves delightfully in his face, and he always made
Williams think of a friendly, honest cart-horse--stolid, strong, with big and
simple emotions.
"Get a hustle on, Senator," he said at
length impatiently. The two reporters followed the warder down the flagged
corridor, past a row of dark cells, each with its occupant, until the man,
swinging his keys in the direction indicated, stopped and pointed:
"Here's your gentleman," he said, and
then moved on down the corridor, leaving them staring through the bars at a
tail, slim young man, pacing to and fro. He had flaxen hair and very bright
blue eyes; his skin was white, and his face wore so open and innocent an
expression that one would have said he could not twist a kitten's tail without
wincing.
"From the Chronicle and Vulture,"
explained Williams, by way of introduction, and the talk at once began in the
usual way.
The man in the cell ceased his restless pacing
up and down, and stopped opposite the bars to examine them. He stared straight
into Williams's eyes for a moment, and the reporter noted a very different expression
from the one he had first seen. It actually made him shift his position and
stand a little to one side. But the movement was wholly instinctive. He could
not have explained why he did it.
"Guess you vish me to say I did it, and
then egsplain to you how I did it," the young doctor said coolly, with a
marked German accent. "But I haf no copy to gif you shust now. You see at
the trial it is nothing but spite--and shealosy of another woman. I lofed my
vife. I vould not haf gilled her for anything in the vorld--"
"Oh, of course, of course, Dr.
Hensig," broke in the Senator, who was more experienced in the ways of
difficult interviewing. "We quite understand that. But, you know, in New
York the newspapers try a man as much as the courts, and we thought you might
like to make a statement to the public which we should be very glad to print
for you. It may help your case--"
"Nothing can help my case in this tamned
country where shustice is to be pought mit tollars!" cried the prisoner,
with a sudden anger and an expression of face still further belying the first
one; "nothing except a lot of money. But I tell you now two things you may
write for your public: One is, no motive can be shown for the murder, because I
lofed Zinka and vished her to live alvays. And the other is--" He stopped
a moment and stared steadily at Williams making shorthand notes--"that
with my knowledge--my egceptional knowledge--of poisons and pacteriology I
could have done it in a dozen ways without pumping arsenic into her body. That
is a fool's way of killing. It is clumsy and childish and sure of discofery!
See?"
He turned away, as though to signify that the
interview was over, and sat down on his wooden bench.
"Seems to have taken a fancy to you,"
laughed the Senator, as they went off to get further interviews with the
lawyers. "He never looked at me once."
"He's got a bad face--the face of a devil.
I don't feel complimented," said Williams shortly.
"I'd hate to be in his power."
"Same here," returned the other.
"Let's go into Silver Dollars and wash the dirty taste out."
So, after the custom of reporters, they made
their way up the Bowery and went into a saloon that had gained a certain degree
of fame because the Tammany owner had let a silver dollar into each stone of
the floor. Here they washed away most of the "dirty taste" left by
the Tombs atmosphere and Hensig, and then went on to Steve Brodie's, another
saloon a little higher up the same street.
"There'll be others there," said the
Senator, meaning drinks as well as reporters, and Williams, still thinking over
their interview, silently agreed.
Brodie was a character; there was always
something lively going on in his place. He had the reputation of having once
jumped from the Brooklyn Bridge and reached the water alive. No one could actually
deny it, and no one could prove that it really happened: and anyhow, he had
enough imagination and personality to make the myth live and to sell much bad
liquor on the strength of it. The walls of his saloon were plastered with lurid
oil-paintings of the bridge, the height enormously magnified, and Steve's body
in midair, an expression of a happy puppy on his face.
Here, as expected, they found "Whitey"
Fife, of the Recorder, and Galusha Owen, of the World. "Whitey", as
his nickname implied, was an albino, and clever. He wrote the daily
"weather story" for his paper, and the way he spun a column out of
rain, wind, and temperature was the envy of everyone except the Weather Clerk,
who objected to being described as "Farmer Dunne, cleaning his rat-tail
file", and to having his dignified office referred to in the public press
as "a down-country farm". But the public liked it, and laughed, and
"Whitey" was never really spiteful.
Owen, too, when sober, was a good man who had
long passed the rubicon of hack assignments. Yet both these men were also on
the Hensig story. And Williams, who had already taken an instinctive dislike to
the case, was sorry to see this, for it meant frequent interviewing and the
possession, more or less, of his mind and imagination. Clearly, he would have
much to do with this German doctor. Already, even at this stage, he began to
hate him.
The four reporters spent an hour drinking and
talking. They fell at length to discussing the last time they had chanced to
meet on the same assignment--a private lunatic asylum owned by an incompetent
quack without a licence, and where most of the inmates, not mad in the first
instance, and all heavily paid for by relatives who wished them out of the way,
had gone mad from ill-treatment. The place had been surrounded before dawn by
the Board of Health officers, and the quasi-doctor arrested as he opened his
front door. It was a splendid newspaper "story", of course.
"My space bill ran to sixty dollars a day
for nearly a week," said Whitey Fife thickly, and the others laughed,
because Whitey wrote most of his stuff by cribbing it from the evening papers.
"A dead cinch," said Galusha Owen, his
dirty flannel collar poking up through his long hair almost to his ears.
"I 'faked' the whole of the second day without going down there at
all."
He pledged Whitey for the tenth time that
morning, and the albino leered happily across the table at him, and passed him
a thick compliment before emptying his glass.
"Hensig's going to be good, too,"
broke in the Senator, ordering a round of gin-fizzes, and Williams gave a
little start of annoyance to hear the name brought up again. "He'll make
good stuff at the trial. I never saw a cooler hand. You should've heard him
talk about poisons and bacteriology, and boasting he could kill in a dozen ways
without fear of being caught. I guess he was telling the truth right
enough!"
"That so?" cried Galusha and Whitey in
the same breath, not having done a stroke of work so far on the case.
"Run down to the Tombsh and get an
interview," added Whitey, turning with a sudden burst of enthusiasm to his
companion. His white eyebrows and pink eyes fairly shone against the purple of
his tipsy face.
"No, no," cried the Senator; "don't
spoil a good story. You're both as full as ticks. I'll match with Williams
which of us goes. Hensig knows us already, and we'll all 'give up' in this
story right along. No 'beats.'"
So they decided to divide news till the case was
finished, and to keep no exclusive items to themselves; and Williams, having
lost the toss, swallowed his gin-fizz and went back to the Tombs to get a
further talk with the prisoner on his knowledge of expert poisoning and
bacteriology.
Meanwhile his thoughts were very busy elsewhere.
He had taken no part in the noisy conversation in the barroom, because
something lay at the back of his mind, bothering him, and claiming attention
with great persistence. Something was at work in his deeper consciousness,
something that had impressed him with a vague sense of unpleasantness and
nascent fear, reaching below that second skin he had grown...And, as he walked
slowly through the malodorous slum streets that lay between the Bowery and the
Tombs, dodging the pullers-in outside the Jew clothing stores, and nibbling at
a bag of peanuts he caught up off an Italian push-cart en route, this
"something" rose a little higher out of its obscurity, and began to
play with the roots of the ideas floating higgledy-piggledy on the surface of
his mind. He thought he knew what it was, but could not make quite sure. From
the roots of his thoughts it rose a little higher, so that he clearly felt it
as something disagreeable.
Then, with a sudden rush, it came to the
surface, and poked its face before him so that he fully recognised it.
The blond visage of Dr. Max Hensig rose before
him, cool, smiling, and implacable.
Somehow, he had expected it would prove to be
Hensig--this unpleasant thought that was troubling him. He was not really
surprised to have labelled it, because the man's personality had made an
unwelcome impression upon him at the very start. He stopped nervously in the
Street, and looked round. He did not expect to see anything out of the way, or
to find that he was being followed. It was not that exactly. The act of turning
was merely the outward expression of a sudden inner discomfort, and a man with
better nerves, or nerves more under control, would not have turned at all.
But what caused this tremor of the nerves?
Williams probed and searched within himself. It came, he felt, from some part
of his inner being he did not understand; there had been an intrusion, an
incongruous intrusion, into the stream of his normal consciousness. Messages
from this region always gave him pause; and in this particular case he saw no
reason why he should think specially of Dr. Hensig with alarm--this
light-haired stripling with blue eyes and drooping moustache. The faces of
other murderers had haunted him once or twice because they were more than
ordinarily bad, or because their case possessed unusual features of horror. But
there was nothing so very much out of the way about Hensig--at least, if there
was, the reporter could not seize and analyse it. There seemed no adequate
reason to explain his emotion. Certainly, it had nothing to do with the fact
that he was merely a murderer, for that stirred no thrill in him at all, except
a kind of pity, and a wonder how the man would meet his execution. It must, he
argued, be something to do with the personality of the man, apart from any
particular deed or characteristic.
Puzzled, and still a little nervous, he stood in
the road, hesitating. In front of him the dark walls of the Tombs rose in
massive steps of granite. Overhead white summer clouds sailed across a deep blue
sky; the wind sang cheerfully among the wires and chimney-pots, making him
think of fields and trees; and down the Street surged the usual cosmopolitan
New York crowd of laughing Italians, surly Negroes, hebrews chattering Yiddish,
tough-looking hooligans with that fighting lurch of the shoulders peculiar to
New York roughs, Chinamen, taking little steps like boys--and every other sort
of nondescript imaginable. It was early June, and there were faint odours of
the sea and of sea-beaches in the air. Williams caught himself shivering a
little with delight at the sight of the sky and scent of the wind.
Then he looked back at the great prison, rightly
named the Tombs, and the sudden change of thought from the fields to the cells,
from life to death, somehow landed him straight into the discovery of what
caused this attack of nervousness:
Hensig was no ordinary murderer! That was it.
There was something quite out of the ordinary about him. The man was a horror,
pure and simple, standing apart from normal humanity. The knowledge of this
rushed over him like a revelation, bringing unalterable conviction in its
train.
Something of it had reached him in that first
brief interview, but without explaining itself sufficiently to be recognised,
and since then it had been working in his system, like a poison, and was now
causing a disturbance, not having been assimilated. A quicker temperament would
have labelled it long before.
Now, Williams knew well that he drank too much,
and had more than a passing acquaintance with drugs; his nerves were shaky at
the best of times. His life on the newspapers afforded no opportunity of
cultivating pleasant social relations, but brought him all the time into
contact with the seamy side of life--the criminal, the abnormal, the unwholesome
in human nature. He knew, too, that strange thoughts, idées fixes and what not,
grew readily in such a soil as this, and, not wanting these, he had formed a
habit--peculiar to himself--of deliberately sweeping his mind clean once a week
of all that had haunted, obsessed, or teased him, of the horrible or unclean,
during his work; and his eighth day, his holiday, he invariably spent in the
woods, walking, building fires, cooking a meal in the open, and getting all the
country air and the exercise he possibly could. He had in this way kept his
mind free from many unpleasant pictures that might otherwise have lodged there
abidingly, and the habit of thus cleansing his imagination had proved more than
once of real value to him.
So now he laughed to himself, and turned on
those whizzing brooms of his, trying to forget these first impressions of
Hensig, and simply going in, as he did a hundred other times, to get an
ordinary interview with an ordinary prisoner. This habit, being nothing more
nor less than the practice of suggestion, was more successful sometimes than
others. This time--since fear is less susceptible to suggestion than other
emotions--it was less so.
Williams got his interview, and came away fairly
creeping with horror. Hensig was all that he had felt, and more besides. He
belonged, the reporter felt convinced, to that rare type of deliberate
murderer, cold-blooded and calculating, who kills for a song, delights in
killing, and gives its whole intellect to the consideration of each detail,
glorying in evading detection and revelling in the notoriety of the trial, if
caught. At first he had answered reluctantly, but as Williams plied his
questions intelligently, the young doctor warmed up and became enthusiastic
with a sort of cold intellectual enthusiasm, till at last he held forth like a
lecturer, pacing his cell, gesticulating, explaining with admirable exposition
how easy murder could be to a man who knew his business.
And he did know his business! No man, in these
days of inquests and post-mortem examination, would inject poisons that might
be found weeks afterwards in the viscera of the victim. No man who knew his
business!
"What is more easy," he said, holding
the bars with his long white fingers and gazing into the reporter's eyes,
"than to take a disease germ ['cherm' he pronounced it] of typhus, plague,
or any cherm you blease, and make so virulent a culture that no medicine in the
vorld could counteract it; a really powerful microbe--and then scratch the skin
of your victim with a pin? And who could drace it to you, or accuse you of
murder?"
Williams, as he watched and heard, was glad the
bars were between them; but, even so, something invisible seemed to pass from
the prisoner's atmosphere and lay an icy finger on his heart. He had come into contact
with every possible kind of crime and criminal, and had interviewed scores of
men who, for jealousy, greed, passion or other comprehensible emotion, had
killed and paid the penalty of killing. He understood that. Any man with strong
passions was a potential killer. But never before had he met a man who in cold
blood, deliberately, under no emotion greater than boredom, would destroy a
human life and then boast of his ability to do it.
Yet this, he felt sure, was what Hensig had
done, and what his vile words shadowed forth and betrayed. Here was something
outside humanity, something terrible, monstrous; and it made him shudder. This
young doctor, he felt, was a fiend incarnate, a man who thought less of human
life than the lives of flies in summer, and who would kill with as steady a
hand and cool a brain as though he were performing a common operation in the
hospital.
Thus the reporter left the prison gates with a
vivid impression in his mind, though exactly how his conclusion was reached was
more than he could tell. This time the mental brooms failed to act. The horror
of it remained.
On the way out into the street he ran against
Policeman Dowling of the ninth precinct, with whom he had been fast friends
since the day he wrote a glowing account of Dowling's capture of a
"greengoods-man", when Dowling had been so drunk that he nearly lost
his prisoner altogether. The policeman had never forgotten the good turn; it
had promoted him to plain clothes; and he was always ready to give the reporter
any news he had.
"Know of anything good to-day?" he
asked by way of habit.
"Bet your bottom dollar I do," replied
the coarse-faced Irish policeman; "one of the best, too. I've got
Hensig!"
Dowling spoke with pride and affection. He was
mighty pleased, too, because his name would be in the paper every day for a
week or more, and a big case helped the chances of promotion.
Williams cursed inwardly. Apparently there was
no escape from this man Hensig.
"Not much of a case, is it?" he asked.
"It's a jim dandy, that's what it is,"
replied the other, a little offended. "Hensig may miss the Chair because
the evidence is weak, but he's the worst I've ever met. Why, he'd poison you as
soon as spit in your eye, and if he's got a heart at all he keeps it on ice."
"What makes you think that?"
"Oh, they talk pretty freely to us
sometimes," the policeman said, with a significant wink.
"Can't be used against them at the trial,
and it kind o' relieves their mind, I guess. But I'd just as soon not have
heard most of what that guy told me--see? Come in," he added, looking
round cautiously; "I'll set 'em up and tell you a bit."
Williams entered the side-door of a saloon with
him, but not too willingly.
"A glarss of Scotch for the
Englishman," ordered the officer facetiously, "and I'll take a
horse's collar with a dash of peach bitters in it--just what you'd notice, no
more." He flung down a half-dollar, and the bar-tender winked and pushed
it back to him across the counter.
"What's yours, Mike?" he asked him.
"I'll take a cigar," said the
bar-tender, pocketing the proffered dime and putting a cheap cigar in his
waistcoat pocket, and then moving off to allow the two men elbowroom to talk
in.
They talked in low voices with heads close
together for fifteen minutes, and then the reporter set up another round of
drinks. The bar-tender took his money. Then they talked a bit longer, Williams
rather white about the gills and the policeman very much in earnest.
"The boys are waiting for me up at
Brodie's," said Williams at length. "I must be off."
"That's so," said Dowling,
straightening up. "We'll just liquor up again to show there's no
ill-feeling. And mind you see me every morning before the case is called. Trial
begins to-morrow."
They swallowed their drinks, and again the
bar-tender took a ten-cent piece and pocketed a cheap cigar.
"Don't print what I've told you, and don't
give it up to the other reporters," said Dowling as they separated.
"And if you want confirmation jest take the cars and run down to
Amityville, Long Island, and you'll find what I've said is O.K. every
time."
Williams went back to Steve Brodie's, his
thoughts whizzing about him like bees in a swarm. What he had heard increased
tenfold his horror of the man. Of course, Dowling may have lied or exaggerated,
but he thought not. It was probably all true, and the newspaper offices knew
something about it when they sent good men to cover the case. Williams wished
to Heaven he had nothing to do with the thing; but meanwhile he could not write
what he had heard, and all the other reporters wanted was the result of his
interview. That was good for half a column, even expurgated.
He found the Senator in the middle of a story to
Galusha, while Whitey Fife was knocking cocktail glasses off the edge of the
table and catching them just before they reached the floor, pretending they
were Steve Brodie jumping from the Brooklyn Bridge. He had promised to set up
the drinks for the whole bar if he missed, and just as Williams entered a glass
smashed to atoms on the stones, and a roar of laughter went up from the room.
Five or six men moved up to the bar and took their liquor, Williams included,
and soon after Whitey and Galusha went off to get some lunch and sober up,
having first arranged to meet Williams later in the evening and get the "story"
from him.
"Get much?" asked the Senator.
"More than I care about," replied the
other, and then told his friend the story.
The Senator listened with intense interest,
making occasional notes from time to time, and asking a few questions. Then,
when Williams had finished, he said quietly:
"I guess Dowling's right. Let's jump on a
car and go down to --ille, and see what they think about him down there."
Amityville was a scattered village some twenty
miles away on Long Island, where Dr. Hensig had lived and practised for the
last year or two, and where Mrs. Hensig No. 2 had come to her suspicious death.
The neighbours would be sure to have plenty to say, and though it might not
prove of great value, it would be certainly interesting. So the two reporters
went down there, and interviewed anyone and everyone they could find, from the
man in the drug-store to the parson and the undertaker, and the stories they
heard would fill a book.
"Good stuff," said the Senator, as
they journeyed back to New York on the steamer, "but nothing we can use, I
guess." His face was very grave, and he seemed troubled in his mind.
"Nothing the District Attorney can use
either at the trial," observed Williams.
"It's simply a devil--not a man at
all," the other continued, as if talking to himself. "Utterly
unmoral! I swear I'll make MacSweater put me to another job."
For the stories they had heard showed Dr. Hensig
as a man who openly boasted that he could kill without detection; that no enemy
of his lived long; that, as a doctor, he had, or ought to have, the right over
life and death; and that if a person was a nuisance, or a trouble to him, there
was no reason he should not put them away, provided he did it without rousing
suspicion. Of course he had not shouted these views aloud in the market-place,
but he had let people know that he held them, and held them seriously. They had
fallen from him in conversation, in unguarded moments, and were clearly the
natural expression of his mind and views. And many people in the village
evidently had no doubt that he had put them into practice more than once.
"There's nothing to give up to Whitey or
Galusha, though," said the Senator decisively, "and there's hardly
anything we can use in our story."
"I don't think I should care to use it
anyhow," Williams said, with rather a forced laugh.
The Senator looked round sharply by way of
question.
"Hensig may be acquitted and get out,"
added Williams. "Same here. I guess you're dead right," he said
slowly, and then added more cheerfully, "Let's go and have dinner in
Chinatown, and write our copy together." So they went down Pell Street,
and turned up some dark wooden stairs into a Chinese restaurant, smelling
strongly of opium and of cooking not Western. Here at a little table on the
sanded floor they ordered chou chop suey and chou om dong in brown bowls, and
washed it down with frequent doses of the fiery white whisky, and then moved
into a corner and began to cover their paper with pencil writing for the
consumption of the great American public in the morning.
"There's not much to choose between Hensig
and that," said the Senator, as one of the degraded white women who
frequent Chinatown entered the room and sat down at an empty table to order
whisky. For, with four thousand Chinamen in the quarter, there is not a single
Chinese woman.
"All the difference in the world,"
replied Williams, following his glance across the smoky room. "She's been
decent once, and may be again some day, but that damned doctor has never been
anything but what he is--a soulless, intellectual devil. He doesn't belong to
humanity at all. I've got a horrid idea that--"
"How do you spell 'bacteriology,' two r's
or one?" asked the Senator, going on with his scrawly writing of a story
that would be read with interest by thousands next day.
"Two r's and one k," laughed the
other. And they wrote on for another hour, and then went to turn it into their
respective offices in Park Row.
The trial of Max Hensig lasted two weeks, for
his relations supplied money, and he got good lawyers and all manner of delays.
From a newspaper point of view it fell utterly flat, and before the end of the
fourth day most of the papers had shunted their big men on to other jobs more
worthy of their powers.
From Williams's point of view, however, it did
not fall flat, and he was kept on it till the end.
A reporter, of course, has no right to indulge
in editorial remarks, especially when a case is still sub judice, but in New
York journalism and the dignity of the law have a standard all their own, and
into his daily reports there crept the distinct flavour of his own conclusions.
Now that new men, with whom he had no agreement to "give up", were
covering the story for the other papers, he felt free to use any special
knowledge in his possession, and a good deal of what he had heard at Amityville
and from officer Dowling somehow managed to creep into his writing. Something
of the horror and loathing he felt for this doctor also betrayed itself, more
by inference than actual statement, and no one who read his daily column could
come to any other conclusion than that Hensig was a calculating, cool-headed
murderer of the most dangerous type.
This was a little awkward for the reporter,
because it was his duty every morning to interview the prisoner in his cell,
and get his views on the conduct of the case in general and on his chances of
escaping the Chair in particular.
Yet Hensig showed no embarrassment. All the
newspapers were supplied to him, and he evidently read every word that Williams
wrote. He must have known what the reporter thought about him, at least so far
as his guilt or innocence was concerned, but he expressed no opinion as to the
fairness of the articles, and talked freely of his chances of ultimate escape.
The very way in which he glorified in being the central figure of a matter that
bulked so large in the public eye seemed to the reporter an additional proof of
the man's perversity. His vanity was immense. He made most careful toilets,
appearing every day in a clean shirt and a new tie, and never wearing the same
suit on two consecutive days. He noted the descriptions of his personal
appearance in the Press, and was quite offended if his clothes and bearing in
court were not referred to in detail...And he was unusually delighted and
pleased when any of the papers stated that he looked smart and self-possessed,
or showed great self-control--which some of them did.
"They make a hero of me," he said one
morning when Williams went to see him as usual before court opened, "and
if I go to the Chair--which I tink I not do, you know--you shall see something
fine. Berhaps they electrocute a corpse only!"
And then, with dreadful callousness, he began to
chaff the reporter about the tone of his articles--for the first time.
"I only report what is said and done in
court," stammered Williams, horribly uncomfortable, "and I am always
ready to write anything you care to say--"
"I haf no fault to find," answered
Hensig, his cold blue eyes fixed on the reporter's face through the bars,
"none at all. You tink I haf killed, and you show it in all your
sendences. Haf you ever seen a man in the Chair, I ask you?"
Williams was obliged to say he had.
"Ach was! You haf indeed!" said the
doctor coolly.
"It's instantaneous, though," the
other added quickly, "and must be quite painless" This was not
exactly what he thought, but what else could he say to the poor devil who might
presently be strapped down into it with that horrid band across his shaved
head!
Hensig laughed, and turned away to walk up and
down the narrow cell. Suddenly he made a quick movement and sprang like a
panther close up to the bars, pressing his face between them with an expression
that was entirely new. Williams started back a pace in spite of himself.
"There are worse ways of dying than
that," he said in a low voice, with a diabolical look in his eyes:
"slower ways that are bainful much more. I shall get oudt. I shall not be
conficted. I shall get oudt, and then perhaps I come and tell you apout
them."
The hatred in his voice and expression was
unmistakable, but almost at once the face changed back to the cold pallor it
usually wore, and the extraordinary doctor was laughing again and quietly
discussing his lawyers and their good or bad points.
After all, then, that skin of indifference was
only assumed, and the man really resented bitterly the tone of his articles. He
liked the publicity, but was furious with Williams for having come to a
conclusion and for letting that conclusion show through his reports.
The reporter was relieved to get out into the
fresh air. He walked briskly up the stone steps to the court-room, still
haunted by the memory of that odious white face pressing between the bars and
the dreadful look in the eyes that had come and gone so swiftly. And what did
those words mean exactly? Had he heard them right? Were they a threat?
"There are slower and more painful ways of
dying, and if I get out I shall perhaps come and tell you about them."
The work of reporting the evidence helped to
chase the disagreeable vision, and the compliments of the city editor on the
excellence of his "story", with its suggestion of a possible increase
of salary, gave his mind quite a different turn; yet always at the back of his
consciousness there remained the vague, unpleasant memory that he had roused
the bitter hatred of this man, and, as he thought, of a man who was a veritable
monster.
There may have been something hypnotic, a little
perhaps, in this obsessing and haunting idea of the man's steely wickedness,
intellectual and horribly skilful, moving freely through life with something
like a god's power and with a list of unproved and unprovable murders behind
him. Certainly it impressed his imagination with very vivid force, and he could
not think of this doctor, young, with unusual knowledge and out-of-the-way
skill, yet utterly unmoral, free to work his will on men and women who
displeased him, and almost safe from detection--he could not think of it all
without a shudder and a crawling of the skin. He was exceedingly glad when the
last day of the trial was reached and he no longer was obliged to seek the
daily interview in the cell, or to sit all day in the crowded court watching
the detestable white face of the prisoner in the dock and listening to the web
of evidence closing round him, but just failing to hold him tight enough for
the Chair. For Hensig was acquitted, though the jury sat up all night to come
to a decision, and the final interview Williams had with the man immediately
before his release into the street was the pleasantest and yet the most
disagreeable of all.
"I knew I get oudt all right," said
Hensig with a slight laugh, but without showing the real relief he must have
felt. "No one peliefed me guilty but my vife's family and yourself, Mr.
Vulture reporter. I read efery day your repordts. You chumped to a conglusion
too quickly, I tink"
"Oh, we write what we're told to
write--"
"Berhaps some day you write anozzer story,
or berhaps you read the story someone else write of your own trial. Then you
understand better what you make me feel."
Williams hurried on to ask the doctor for his
opinion of the conduct of the trial, and then inquired what his plans were for
the future. The answer to the question caused him genuine relief.
"Ach! I return of course to Chermany,"
he said. "People here are now afraid of me a liddle. The newspapers haf
killed me instead of the Chair. Goot-bye, Mr. Vulture reporter, goot-bye!"
And Williams wrote out his last interview with
as great a relief, probably, as Hensig felt when he heard the foreman of the
jury utter the words "Not guilty"; but the line that gave him most
pleasure was the one announcing the intended departure of the acquitted man for
Germany.
The New York public want sensational reading in
their daily life, and they get it, for the newspaper that refused to furnish it
would fail in a week, and New York newspaper proprietors do not pose as
philanthropists. Horror succeeds horror, and the public interest is never for
one instant allowed to faint by the way.
Like any other reporter who betrayed the
smallest powers of description, Williams realised this fact with his very first
week on the Vulture. His daily work became simply a series of sensational
reports of sensational happenings; he lived in a perpetual whirl of exciting
arrests, murder trials, cases of blackmail, divorce, forgery, arson,
corruption, and every other kind of wickedness imaginable. Each case thrilled
him a little less than the preceding one; excess of sensation bad simply numbed
him; he became, not callous, but irresponsive, and had long since reached the
stage when excitement ceases to betray judgment, as with inexperienced
reporters it was apt to do.
The Hensig case, however, for a long time lived
in his imagination and haunted him. The bald facts were buried in the police
files at Mulberry Street headquarters and in the newspaper office
"morgues", while the public, thrilled daily by fresh horrors, forgot
the very existence of the evil doctor a couple of days after the acquittal of
the central figure.
But for Williams it was otherwise. The
personality of the heartless and calculating murderer--the intellectual
poisoner, as he called him--had made a deep impression on his imaginations and
for many weeks his memory kept him alive as a moving and actual horror in his
life. The words he had heard him titter, with their covert threats and
ill-concealed animosity, helped, no doubt, to vivify the recollection and to
explain why Hensig stayed in his thoughts and haunted his dreams with a persistence
that reminded him of his very earliest cases on the paper..With time, however,
even Hensig began to fade away into the confused background of piled up
memories of prisoners and prison scenes, and at length the memory became so
deeply buried that it no longer troubled him at all.
The summer passed, and Williams came back from
his hard-earned holiday of two weeks in the Maine backwoods. New York was at
its best, and the thousands who had been forced to stay and face its torrid
summer heats were beginning to revive under the spell of the brilliant autumn
days. Cool sea breezes swept over its burnt streets from the Lower Bay, and
across the splendid flood of the Hudson River the woods on the Palisades of New
Jersey had turned to crimson and gold. The air was electric, sharp, sparkling,
and the life of the city began to pulse anew with its restless and impetuous
energy. Bronzed faces from sea and mountains thronged the streets, health and
light-heartedness showed in every eye, for autumn in New York wields a potent
magic not to be denied, and even the East Side slums, where the unfortunates
crowd in their squalid thousands, had the appearance of having been swept and
cleansed. Along the water-fronts especially the powers of sea and sun and
scented winds combined to work an irresistible fever in the hearts of all who
chafed within their prison walls.
And in Williams, perhaps more than in most,
there was something that responded vigorously to the influences of hope and
cheerfulness everywhere abroad. Fresh with the vigour of his holiday and full
of good resolutions for the coming winter he felt released from the evil spell
of irregular living, and as he crossed one October morning to Staten Island in
the big double-ender ferry-boat, his heart was light, and his eye wandered to
the blue waters and the hazy line of woods beyond with feelings of pure
gladness and delight.
He was on his way to Quarantine to meet an
incoming liner for the Vulture. A Jew-baiting member of the German Reichstag
was coming to deliver a series of lectures in New York on his favourite
subject, and the newspapers who deemed him worthy of notice at all were sending
him fair warning that his mission would be tolerated perhaps, but not welcomed.
The Jews were good citizens and America a "free country" and his
meetings in the Cooper Union Hall would meet with derision certainly, and
violence possibly.
The assignment was a pleasant one, and Williams
had instructions to poke fun at the officious and interfering German, and
advise him to return to Bremen by the next steamer without venturing among
flying eggs and dead cats on the platform. He entered fully into the spirit of
the job and was telling the Quarantine doctor about it as they steamed down the
bay in the little tug to meet the huge liner just anchoring inside Sandy Hook.
The decks of the ship were crowded with
passengers watching the arrival of the puffing tug, and just as they drew
alongside in the shadow Williams suddenly felt his eyes drawn away from the
swinging rope ladder to some point about half-way down the length of the
vessel. There, among the intermediate passengers on the lower deck, he saw a
face staring at him with fixed intentness. The eyes were bright blue, and the
skin, in that row of bronzed passengers, showed remarkably white. At once, and
with a violent rush of blood from the heart, he recognised Hensig.
In a moment everything about him changed: the
blue waters of the bay turned black, the light seemed to leave the sun, and all
the old sensations of fear and loathing came over him again like the memory of
some great pain. He shook himself, and clutched the rope ladder to swing up
after the Health Officer, angry, and yet genuinely alarmed at the same time, to
realise that the return of this man could so affect him. His interview with the
Jew-baiter was of the briefest possible description, and he hurried through to
catch the Quarantine tug back to Staten Island, instead of steaming up the bay
with the great liner into dock, as the other reporters did. He had caught no
second glimpse of the hated German, and he even went so far as to harbour a
faint hope that he might have been deceived, and that some trick of resemblance
in another face had caused a sort of subjective hallucination. At any rate, the
days passed into weeks, and October slipped into November, and there was no
recurrence of the distressing vision. Perhaps, after all, it was a stranger
only; or, if it was Hensig, then he had forgotten all about the reporter, and
his return had no connection necessarily with the idea of revenge.
None the less, however, Williams felt uneasy. He
told his friend Dowling, the policeman.
"Old news," laughed the Irishman.
"Headquarters are keeping an eye on him as a suspect. Berlin wants a man
for two murders--goes by the name of Brunner--and from their description we
think it's this feller Hensig. Nothing certain yet, but we're on his trail. I'm
on his trail," he added proudly, "and don't you forget it! I'll let
you know anything when the time comes, but mum's the word just now!"
One night, not long after this meeting, Williams
and the Senator were covering a big fire on the West Side docks. They were
standing on the outskirts of the crowd watching the immense flames that a
shouting wind seemed to carry half-way across the river. The surrounding
shipping was brilliantly lit up and the roar was magnificent. The Senator,
having come out with none of his own, borrowed his friend's overcoat for a
moment to protect him from spray and flying cinders while he went inside the
fire lines for the latest information obtainable. It was after midnight, and
the main story had been telephoned to the office; all they had now to do was to
send in the latest details and corrections to be written up at the news desk.
"I'll wait for you over at the
corner!" shouted Williams, in moving off through a scene of indescribable
confusion and taking off his fire badge as he went. This conspicuous brass
badge, issued to reporters by the Fire Department, gave them the right to pass
within the police cordon in the pursuit of information, and at their own risk.
Hardly had he unpinned it from his coat when a hand dashed out of the crowd
surging up against him and made a determined grab at it. He turned to trace the
owner, but at that instant a great lurching of the mob nearly carried him off
his feet, and he only just succeeded in seeing the arm withdrawn, having failed
of its object, before he was landed with a violent push upon the pavement he
had been aiming for.
The incident did not strike him as particularly
odd, for in such a crowd there are many who covet the privilege of getting
closer to the blaze. He simply laughed and put the badge safely in his pocket,
and then stood to watch the dying flames until his friend came to join him with
the latest details.
Yet, though time was pressing and the Senator
had little enough to do, it was fully half an hour before he came lumbering up
through the darkness. Williams recognised him some distance away by the check
ulster he wore--his own.
But was it the Senator, after all? The figure
moved oddly and with a limp, as though injured.
A few feet off it stopped and peered at Williams
through the darkness.
"That you, Williams?" asked a gruff
voice.
"I thought you were someone else for a
moment," answered the reporter, relieved to recognise his friend, and
moving forward to meet him. "But what's wrong? Are you hurt?"
The Senator looked ghastly in the lurid glow of
the fire. His face was white, and there was a little trickle of blood on the
forehead.
"Some fellow nearly did for me," he
said; "deliberately pushed me clean off the edge of the dock. If I hadn't
fallen on to a broken pile and found a boat, I'd have been drowned sure as God
made little apples. Think I know who it was, too. Think! I mean I know, because
I saw his damned white face and heard what he said." "Who in the
world was it? What did he want?" stammered the other.
The Senator took his arm, and lurched into the
saloon behind them for some brandy. As he did so he kept looking over his
shoulder.
"Quicker we're off from this dirty
neighbourhood, the better," he said.
Then he turned to Williams, looking oddly at him
over the glass, and answering his questions.
"Who was it?--why, it was Hensig! And what
did he want?--well, he wanted you!"
"Me! Hensig!" gasped the other.
"Guess he mistook me for you," went on
the Senator, looking behind him at the door. "The crowd was so thick I cut
across by the edge of the dock. It was quite dark. There wasn't a soul near me.
I was running. Suddenly what I thought was a stump got up in front of me, and,
Gee whiz, man! I tell you it was Hensig, or I'm a drunken Dutchman. I looked
bang into his face. 'Good-pye, Mr. Vulture reporter,' he said, with a damned
laugh, and gave me a push that sent me backwards clean over the edge."
The Senator paused for breath, and to empty his
second glass.
"My overcoat!" exclaimed Williams
faintly.
"Oh, he'd been following you right enough,
I guess."
The Senator was not really injured, and the two
men walked back towards Broadway to find a telephone, passing through a region
of dimly-lighted streets known as Little Africa, where the negroes lived, and
where it was safer to keep the middle of the road, thus avoiding sundry dark
alley-ways opening off the side. They talked hard all the way.
"He's after you, no doubt," repeated
the Senator. "I guess he never forgot your report of his trial. Better
keep your eye peeled!" he added with a laugh.
But Williams didn't feel a bit inclined to
laugh, and the thought that it certainly was Hensig he had seen on the steamer,
and that he was following him so closely as to mark his check ulster and make
an attempt on his life, made him feel horribly uncomfortable, to say the least.
To be stalked by such a man was terrible. To realise that he was marked down by
that white-faced, cruel wretch, merciless and implacable, skilled in the
manifold ways of killing by stealth--that somewhere in the crowds of the great
city he was watched and waited for, hunted, observed: here was an obsession
really to torment and become dangerous. Those light-blue eyes, that keen
intelligence, that mind charged with revenge, had been watching him ever since
the trial, even from across the sea. The idea terrified him. It brought death
into his thoughts for the first time with a vivid sense of nearness and
reality--far greater than anything he had experienced when watching others die.
That night, in his dingy little room in the East
Nineteenth Street --ng-house, Williams went to bed in a blue funk, and for days
afterwards he went about his business in a continuation of the same blue funk.
It was useless to deny it. He kept his eyes everywhere, thinking he was being
watched and followed. A new face in the office, at the --ng-house table, or
anywhere on his usual beat, made him jump. His daily work was haunted; his
dreams were all nightmares; he forgot all his good resolutions, and plunged
into the old indulgences that helped him to forget his distress. It took twice
as much liquor to make him jolly, and four times as much to make him reckless.
Not that he really was a drunkard, or cared to
drink for its own sake, but he moved in a thirsty world of reporters,
policemen, reckless and loose-living men and women, whose form of greeting was
"What'll you take?" and method of reproach "Oh, he's sworn
off!" Only now he was more careful how much he took, counting the
cocktails and fizzes poured into him during the course of his day's work, and
was anxious never to lose control of himself. He must be on the watch. He
changed his eating and drinking haunts, and altered any habits that could give
a clue to the devil on his trail. He even went so far as to change his
boarding-house. His emotion--the emotion of fear--changed everything. It tinged
the outer world with gloom, draping it in darker colours, stealing something
from the sunlight, reducing enthusiasm, and acting as a heavy drag, as it were,
upon all the normal functions of life.
The effect upon his imagination, already
diseased by alcohol and drugs, was, of course, exceedingly strong. The doctor's
words about developing a germ until it became too powerful to be touched by any
medicine, and then letting it into the victim's system by means of a
pin-scratch--this possessed him more than anything else. The idea dominated his
thoughts; it seemed so clever, so cruel, so devilish. The "accident"
at the fire had been, of course, a real accident, conceived on the spur of the
moment--the result of a chance meeting and a foolish mistake.
Hensig had no need to resort to such clumsy
methods. When the right moment came he would adopt a far simpler, safer plan.
Finally, he became so obsessed by the idea that
Hensig was following him, waiting for his opportunity, that one day he told the
news editor the whole story. His nerves were so shaken that he could not do his
work properly.
"That's a good story. Make two hundred of
it," said the editor at once. "Fake the name, of course. Mustn't
mention Hensig, or there'll be a libel suit."
But William was in earnest, and insisted so
forcibly that Treherne, though busy as ever, took him aside into his room with the
glass door.
"Now, see here, Williams, you're drinking
too much," he said; "that's about the size of it. Steady up a bit on
the wash, and Hensig's face will disappear." He spoke kindly, but sharply.
He was young himself, awfully keen, with much knowledge of human nature and a
rare "nose for news". He understood the abilities of his small army
of men with intuitive judgment. That they drank was nothing to him, provided
they did their work. Everybody in that world drank, and the man who didn't was
looked upon with suspicion.
Williams explained rather savagely that the face
was no mere symptom of delirium tremens and the editor spared him another two
minutes before rushing out to tackle the crowd of men waiting for him at the
news desk.
"That so? You don't say!" he asked,
with more interest. "Well, I guess Hensig's simply trying to razzle-dazzle
you. You tried to kill him by your reports, and he wants to scare you by way of
revenge. But he'll never dare do anything. Throw him a good bluff, and he'll
give in like a baby. Everything's pretence in this world. But I rather like the
idea of the germs. That's original!"
Williams, a little angry at the other's
flippancy, told the story of the Senator's adventure and the changed overcoat.
"May be, may be," replied the hurried
editor; "but the Senator drinks Chinese whisky, and a man who does that
might imagine anything on God's earth. Take a tip, Williams, from an old hand,
and let up a bit on the liquor. Drop cocktails and keep to straight whisky, and
never drink on an empty stomach. Above all, don't mix!"
He gave him a keen look and was off.
"Next time you see this German," cried
Treherne from the door, "go up and ask him for an interview on what it
feels like to escape from the Chair--just to show him you don't care a red
cent. Talk about having him watched and followed--suspected man--and all that
sort of flim-flam. Pretend to warn him. It'll turn the tables and make him
digest a bit. See?" Williams sauntered out into the street to report a
meeting of the Rapid Transit Commissioners, and the first person he met as he
ran down the office steps was--Max Hensig.
Before he could stop, or swerve aside, they were
face to face. His head swam for a moment and he began to tremble. Then some
measure of self-possession returned, and he tried instinctively to act on the
editor's advice. No other plan was ready, so he drew on the last force that had
occupied his mind. It was that--or running.
Hensig, he noticed, looked prosperous; he wore a
fur overcoat and cap. His face was whiter than ever, and his blue eyes burned
like coals.
"Why! Dr. Hensig, you're back in New
York!" he exclaimed. "When did you arrive? I'm glad--I suppose--I
mean--er--will you come and have a drink?" he concluded desperately. It
was very foolish, but for the life of him he could think of nothing else to
say. And the last thing in the world he wished was that his enemy should know
that he was afraid.
"I tink not, Mr. Vulture reporder,
tanks," he answered coolly; "but I sit py and vatch you drink."
His self-possession was as perfect, as it always was.
But Williams, more himself now, seized on the
refusal and moved on, saying something about having a meeting to go to.
"I walk a liddle way with you,
berhaps," Hensig said, following him down the pavement.
It was impossible to prevent him, and they
started side by side across City Hall Park towards Broadway. It was after four
o'clock: the dusk was falling: the little park was thronged with people walking
in all directions, everyone in a terrific hurry as usual. Only Hensig seemed
calm and unmoved among that racing, tearing life about them. He carried an
atmosphere of ice about with him: it was his voice and manner that produced
this impression; his mind was alert, watchful, determined, always sure of
itself.
Williams wanted to run. He reviewed swiftly in
his mind a dozen ways of getting rid of him quickly, yet knowing well they were
all futile. He put his hands in his overcoat pockets--the check ulster--and
watched sideways every movement of his companion.
"Living in New York again, aren't
you?" he began.
"Not as a doctor any more," was the
reply. "I now teach and study. Also I write sciendific books a
liddle--"
"What about?"
"Cherms," said the other, looking at
him and laughing.
"Disease cherms, their culture and development."
He put the accent on the "op".
Williams walked more quickly. With a great
effort he tried to put Treherne's advice into practice.
"You care to give me an interview any
time--on your special subjects?" he asked, as naturally as he could.
"Oh yes; with much bleasure. I lif in
Harlem now, if you will call von day--"
"Our office is best," interrupted the
reporter. "Paper, desks, library, all handy for use, you know."
"If you're afraid--" began Hensig.
Then, without finishing the sentence, he added with a laugh, "I haf no
arsenic there. You not tink me any more a pungling boisoner? You haf changed
your mind about all dat?"
Williams felt his flesh beginning to creep. How
could he speak of such a matter! His own wife, too!
He turned quickly and faced him, standing still
for a moment so that the throng of people deflected into two streams past them.
He felt it absolutely imperative upon him to say something that should convince
the German he was not afraid.
"I suppose you are aware, Dr. Hensig, that
the police know you have returned, and that you are being watched
probably?" he said in a low voice, forcing himself to meet the odious blue
eyes.
"And why not, bray?" he asked
imperturbably.
"They may suspect something--"
"Susbected--already again? Ach was!"
said the German.
"I only wished to warn you--"
stammered Williams, who always found it difficult to remain self-possessed
under the other's dreadful stare.
"No boliceman see what I do--or catch me
again," he laughed quite horribly. "But I tank you all the
same."
Williams turned to catch a Broadway car going at
full speed. He could not stand another minute with this man, who affected him
so disagreeably.
"I call at the office one day to gif you
interview!" Hensig shouted as he dashed off, and the next minute he was
swallowed up in the crowd, and Williams, with mixed feelings and a strange
inner trembling, went to cover the meeting of the Rapid Transit Board.
But, while he reported the proceedings
mechanically, his mind was busy with quite other thoughts. Hensig was at his
side the whole time. He felt quite sure, however unlikely it seemed, that there
was no fancy in his fears, and that he had judged the German correctly. Hensig
hated him, and would put him out of the way if he could. He would do it in such
a way that detection would be almost impossible. He would not shoot or poison
in the ordinary way, or resort to any clumsy method. He would simply follow,
watch, wait his opportunity, and then act with utter callousness and
remorseless determination. And Williams already felt pretty certain of the
means that would be employed: "Cherms!"
This meant proximity. He must watch everyone who
came close to him in trains, cars, restaurants--anywhere and everywhere. It
could be done in a second: only a slight scratch would be necessary, and the
disease would be in his blood with such strength that the chances of recovery
would be slight. And what could he do? He could not have Hensig watched or
arrested.
He had no story to tell to a magistrate, or to
the police, for no one would listen to such a tale.
And, if he were stricken down by sudden illness,
what was more likely than to say he had caught the fever in the ordinary course
of his work, since he was always frequenting noisome dens and the haunts of the
very poor, the foreign and filthy slums of the East Side, and the hospitals,
morgues, and cells of all sorts and conditions of men? No; it was a
disagreeable situation, and Williams, young, shaken in nerve, and easily
impressionable as he was, could not prevent its obsession of his mind and
imagination.
"If I get suddenly ill," he told the
Senator, his only friend in the whole city, "and send for you, look
carefully for a scratch on my body. Tell Dowling, and tell the doctor the
story."
"You think Hensig goes about with a little
bottle of plague germs in his vest pocket?" laughed the other reporter,
ready to scratch you with a pin?"
"Some damned scheme like that, I'm
sure."
"Nothing could be proved anyway. He
wouldn't keep the evidence in his pocket till he was arrested, would he?"
During the next week or two Williams ran against
Hensig twice--accidentally. The first time it happened just outside his own
boarding-house--the new one. Hensig had his foot on the stone steps as if just
about to come up, but quick as a flash he turned his face away and moved on
down the Street. This was about eight o'clock in the evening, and the hall
light fell through the opened door upon his face. The second time it was not so
clear: the reporter was covering a case in the courts, a case of suspicious
death in which a woman was chief prisoner, and he thought he saw the doctor's
white visage watching him from among the crowd at the back of the court-room.
When he looked a second time, however, the face
had disappeared, and there was no sign afterwards of its owner in the lobby or
corridor.
That same day he met Dowling in the building; he
was promoted now, and was always in plain clothes. The detective drew him aside
into a corner. The talk at once turned upon the German.
"We're watching him too," he said.
"Nothing you can use yet, but he's changed his name again, and never stops
at the same address for more than a week or two. I guess he's Brunner right
enough, the man Berlin's looking for. He's a holy terror if ever there was
one."
Dowling was happy as a schoolboy to be in touch
with such a promising case.
"What's he up to now in particular?"
asked the other.
"Something pretty black," said the
detective. "But I can't tell you yet awhile. He calls himself Schmidt now,
and he's dropped the 'Doctor.' We may take him any day--just waiting for
advices from Germany."
Williams told his story of the overcoat
adventure with the Senator, and his belief that Hensig was waiting for a
suitable opportunity to catch him alone.
"That's dead likely too," said Dowling,
and added carelessly, "I guess we'll have to make some kind of a case
against him anyway, just to get him out of the way. He's dangerous to be around
huntin' on the loose."
So gradual sometimes are the approaches of fear
that the processes by which it takes possession of a man's soul are often too
insidious to be recognised, much less to be dealt with, until their object has
been finally accomplished and the victim has lost the power to act. And by this
time the reporter, who had again plunged into excess, felt so nerveless that,
if he met Hensig face to face, he could not answer for what he might do. He
might assault his tormentor violently--one result of terror--or he might find
himself powerless to do anything at all but yield, like a bird fascinated before
a snake.
He was always thinking now of the moment when
they would meet, and of what would happen; for he was just as certain that they
must meet eventually, and that Hensig would try to kill him, as that his next
birthday would find him twenty-five years old. That meeting, he well knew,
could be delayed only, not prevented, and his changing again to another
boarding-house, or moving altogether to a different city, could only postpone
the final accounting between them.
It was bound to come.
A reporter on a New York newspaper has one day
in seven to himself. Williams's day off was Monday, and he was always glad when
it came. Sunday was especially arduous for him, because in addition to the
unsatisfactory nature of the day's assignments, involving private interviewing
which the citizens pretended to resent on their day of rest, he had the task in
the evening of reporting a difficult sermon in a Brooklyn church. Having only a
column and a half at his disposal, he had to condense as he went along, and the
speaker was so rapid, and so fond of lengthy quotations, that the reporter
found his shorthand only just equal to the task. It was usually after half-past
nine o'clock when he left the church, and there was still the labour of
transcribing his notes in the office against time.
The Sunday following the glimpse of his
tormentor's face in the court-room he was busily condensing the wearisome
periods of the preacher. sitting at a little table immediately under the
pulpit, when he glanced up during a brief pause and let his eye wander over the
congregation and up to the crowded galleries. Nothing was farther at the moment
from his much-occupied brain than the doctor of Amityville, and it was such an
unexpected shock to encounter his fixed stare up there among the occupants of
the front row, watching him with an evil smile, that his senses temporarily
deserted him. The next sentence of the preacher was wholly lost, and his
shorthand during the brief remainder of the sermon was quite illegible, he
found, when he came to transcribe it at the office.
It was after one o'clock in the morning when he
finished, and he went out feeling exhausted and rather shaky. In the all-night
drug-store at the corner he indulged accordingly in several more glasses of
whisky than usual, and talked a long time with the man who guarded the back
room and served liquor to the few who knew the pass-word, since the shop had
really no licence at all.
The true reason for this delay he recognised
quite plainly: he was afraid of the journey home along the dark and emptying
streets. The lower end of New York is practically deserted after ten o'clock:
it has no residences, no theatres, no cafés, and only a few travellers from
late ferries share it with reporters, a sprinkling of policemen, and the ubiquitous
ne'er-do-wells who haunt the saloon doors. The newspaper world of Park Row was,
of course, alive with light and movement, but once outside that narrow zone and
the night descended with an effect of general darkness.
Williams thought of spending three dollars on a
cab, but dismissed the idea because of its extravagance. Presently Galusha
Owens came in--too drunk to be of any use, though, as a companion. Besides, he
lived in Harlem, which was miles beyond Nineteenth Street, where Williams had
to go. He took another rye whisky--his fourth--and looked cautiously through
the coloured glass windows into the Street. No one was visible. Then he screwed
up his nerves another twist or two, and made a bolt for it, taking the steps in
a sort of flying leap--and running full tilt into a man whose figure seemed
almost to have risen out of the very pavement.
He gave a cry and raised his fists to strike.
"Where's your hurry?" laughed a
familiar voice. "Is the Prince of Wales dead?" It was the Senator,
most welcome of all possible appearances.
"Come in and have a horn," said
Williams, "and then I'll walk home with you." He was immensely glad
to see him, for only a few streets separated their respective boarding-houses.
"But he'd never sit out a long sermon just
for the pleasure of watching you," observed the Senator after hearing his
friend's excited account.
"That man'll take any trouble in the world
to gain his end," said the other with conviction.
"He's making a study of all my movements
and habits. He's not the sort to take chances when it's a matter of life and
death. I'll bet he's not far away at this moment."
"Rats!" exclaimed the Senator,
laughing in rather a forced way. "You're getting the jumps with your
Hensig and death. Have another rye."
They finished their drinks and went out
together, crossing City Hall Park diagonally towards Broadway, and then turning
north. They crossed Canal and Grand Streets, deserted and badly lighted. Only a
few drunken loiterers passed them. Occasionally a policeman on the corner, always
close to the side-door of a saloon, of course, recognised one or other of them
and called good night. Otherwise there was no one, and they seemed to have this
part of Manhattan Island pretty well to themselves. The presence of the
Senator, ever cheery and kind, keeping close to his friend all the way, the
effect of the half-dozen whiskies, and the sight of the guardians of the law,
combined to raise the reporter's spirits somewhat: and when they reached
Fourteenth Street, with its better light and greater traffic, and saw Union
Square lying just beyond, close to his own street, he felt a distinct increase
of courage and no objection to going on alone..."Good night!" cried
the Senator cheerily. "Get home safe; I turn off here anyway." He
hesitated a moment before turning down the street, and then added, "You
feel O.K., don't you?"
"You may get double rates for an exclusive
bit of news if you come on and see me assaulted," Williams replied,
laughing aloud, and then waiting to see the last of his friend.
But the moment the Senator was gone the laughter
disappeared. He went on alone, crossing the square among the trees and walking
very quickly. Once or twice he turned to see if anybody were following him, and
his eyes scanned carefully as he passed every occupant of the park benches
where a certain number of homeless loafers always find their night's lodging.
But there was nothing apparently to cause him alarm, and in a few minutes more
he would be safe in the little back bedroom of his own house. Over the way he
saw the lights of Burbacher's saloon, where respectable Germans drank Rhine
wine and played chess till all hours. He thought of going in for a night-cap,
hesitating for a moment, but finally going on. When he got to the end of the
square, however, and saw the dark opening of East Eighteenth Street, he thought
after all he would go back and have another drink. He hovered for a moment on
the kerbstone and then turned; his will often slipped a cog now in this way.
It was only when he was on his way back that he
realised the truth: that his real reason for turning back and avoiding the dark
open mouth of the street was because he was afraid of something its shadows
might conceal. This dawned upon him quite suddenly. If there had been a light
at the corner of the street he would never have turned back at all. And as this
passed through his mind, already somewhat fuddled with what he had drunk, he
became aware that the figure of a man had slipped forward out of the dark space
he had just refused to enter, and was following him down the street. The man
was pressing, too, close into the houses, using any protection of shadow or
railing that would enable him to move unseen.
But the moment Williams entered the bright
section of pavement opposite the wine-room windows he knew that this man had
come close up behind him, with a little silent run, and he turned at once to
face him. He saw a slim man with dark hair and blue eyes, and recognised him
instantly.
"It's very late to be coming home,"
said the man at once. "I thought I recognised my reporder friend from the
Vulhire." These were the actual words, and the voice was meant to be
pleasant, but what Williams thought he heard, spoken in tones of ice, was
something like, "At last I've caught you! You are in a state of collapse
nervously, and you are exhausted. I can do what I please with you." For
the face and the voice were those of Hensig the Tormentor, and the dyed hair
only served to emphasise rather grotesquely the man's features and make the
pallor of the skin greater by contrast.
His first instinct was to turn and run, his
second to fly at the man and strike him. A terror beyond death seized him. A
pistol held to his head, or a waving bludgeon, he could easily have faced; but
this odious creature, slim, limp, and white of face, with his terrible
suggestion of cruelty, literally appalled him so that he could think of nothing
intelligent to do or to say. This accurate knowledge of his movements, too,
added to his distress--this waiting for him at night when he was tired and
foolish from excess. At that moment he knew all the sensations of the criminal
a few hours before his execution: the bursts of hysterical terror, the
inability to realise his position, to hold his thoughts steady, the
helplessness of it all. Yet, in the end, the reporter heard his own voice
speaking with a rather weak and unnatural kind of tone and accompanied by a
gulp of forced laughter--heard himself stammering the ever-ready formula:
"I was going to have a drink before turning in--will you join me?"
The invitation, he realised afterwards, was
prompted by the one fact that stood forth clearly in his mind at the
moment--the thought, namely, that whatever he did or said, he must never let
Hensig for one instant imagine that he felt afraid and was so helpless a
victim.
Side by side they moved down the street, for
Hensig had acquiesced in the suggestion, and Williams already felt dazed by the
strong, persistent will of his companion. His thoughts seemed to be flying
about somewhere outside his brain, beyond control, scattering wildly. He could
think of nothing further to say, and had the smallest diversion furnished the
opportunity he would have turned and run for his life through the deserted
streets.
"A glass of lager," he heard the
German say, "I take berhaps that with you. You know me in spite of--"
he added, indicating by a movement the changed colour of his hair and
moustache.
"Also, I gif you now the interview you
asked for, if you like."
The reporter agreed feebly, finding nothing
adequate to reply. He turned helplessly and looked into his face with something
of the sensations a bird may feel when it runs at last straight into the jaws
of the reptile that has fascinated it. The fear of weeks settled down upon him,
focussing about his heart. It was, of course, an effect of hypnotism, he
remembered thinking vaguely through the befuddlement of his drink--this
culminating effect of an evil and remorseless personality acting upon one that
was diseased and extra receptive. And while he made the suggestion and heard
the other's acceptance of it, he knew perfectly well that he was falling in
with the plan of the doctor's own making, a plan that would end in an assault
upon his person, perhaps a technical assault only--a mere touch--still, an
assault that would be at the same time an attempt at murder. The alcohol buzzed
in his ears. He felt strangely powerless. He walked steadily to his doom, side
by side with his executioner.
Any attempt to analyse the psychology of the
situation was utterly beyond him. But, amid the whirl of emotion and the
excitement of the whisky, he dimly grasped the importance of two fundamental
things.
And the first was that, though he was now
muddled and frantic, yet a moment would come when his will would be capable of
one supreme effort to escape, and that therefore it would be wiser for the
present to waste no atom of volition on temporary half-measures. He would play
dead dog. The fear that now paralysed him would accumulate till it reached the
point of saturation: that would be the time to strike for his life. For just as
the coward may reach a stage where he is capable of a sort of frenzied heroism
that no ordinarily brave man could compass, so the victim of fear, at a point
varying with his balance of imagination and physical vigour, will reach a state
where fear leaves him and he becomes numb to its effect from sheer excess of
feeling it. It is the point of saturation. He may then turn suddenly calm and
act with a judgment and precision that simply bewilder the object of the attack.
It is, of course, the inevitable swing of the pendulum, the law of equal action
and reaction.
Hazily, tipsily perhaps, Williams was conscious
of this potential power deep within him, below the superficial layers of
smaller emotions--could he but be sufficiently terrified to reach it and bring
it to the surface where it must result in action.
And, as a consequence of this foresight of his
sober subliminal self, he offered no opposition to the least suggestion of his
tormentor, but made up his mind instinctively to agree to all that he proposed.
Thus he lost no atom of the force he might eventually call upon, by friction
over details which in any case he would yield in the end. And at the same tune
he felt intuitively that his utter weakness might even deceive his enemy a
little and increase the chances of his single effort to escape when the right
moment arrived.
That Williams was able to "imagine"
this true psychology, yet wholly unable to analyse it, simply showed that on
occasion he could be psychically active. His deeper subliminal self, stirred by
the alcohol and the stress of emotion, was guiding him, and would continue to
guide him in proportion as he let his fuddled normal self slip into the
background without attempt to interfere.
And the second fundamental thing he grasped--due
even more than the first to psychic intuition--was the certainty that he could
drink more, up to a certain point, with distinct advantage to his power and
lucidity--but up to a given point only. After that would come unconsciousness,
a single sip too much and he would cross the frontier--a very narrow one. It
was as though he knew intuitively that "the drunken consciousness is one
bit of the mystic consciousness." At present he was only fuddled and
fearful, but additional stimulant would inhibit the effects of the other
emotions, give him unbounded confidence, clarify his judgment and increase his
capacity to a stage far beyond the normal. Only--he must stop in time.
His chances of escape, therefore, so far as he
could understand, depended on these two things: he must drink till he became
self-confident and arrived at the abnormally clear-minded stage of drunkenness;
and he must wait for the moment when Hensig had so filled him up with fear that
he no longer could react to it. Then would be the time to strike. Then his will
would be free and have judgment behind it.
These were the two things standing up clearly
somewhere behind that great confused turmoil of mingled fear and alcohol.
Thus for the moment, though with scattered forces
and rather wildly feeble thoughts, he moved down the street beside the man who
hated him and meant to kill him. He had no purpose at all but to agree and to
wait. Any attempt he made now could end only in failure.
They talked a little as they went, the German
calm, chatting as though he were merely an agreeable acquaintance, but behaving
with the obvious knowledge that he held his victim secure, and that his
struggles would prove simply rather amusing. He even laughed about his dyed
hair, saying by way of explanation that he had done it to please a woman who
told him it would make him look younger. Williams knew this was a lie, and that
the police had more to do with the change than a woman; but the man's vanity
showed through the explanation, and was a vivid little self-revelation.
He objected to entering Burbacher's, saying that
he (Burbacher) paid no blackmail to the police, and might be raided for keeping
open after hours.
"I know a nice quiet blace on T'ird Avenue.
We go there," he said.
Williams, walking unsteadily and shaking
inwardly, still groping, too, feebly after a way of escape, turned down the
side street with him. He thought of the men he had watched walking down the
short corridor from the cell to the "Chair" at Sing Sing, and wondered
if they felt as he did. It was like going to his own execution.
"I haf a new disgovery in bacteriology--in
cherms," the doctor went on, "and it will make me famous, for it is
very imbortant. I gif it you egsclusive for the Vulture, as you are a friend."
He became technical, and the reporter's mind
lost itself among such words as "toxins", "alkaloids", and
the like. But he realised clearly enough that Hensig was playing with him and
felt absolutely sure of his victim. When he lurched badly, as he did more than
once, the German took his arm by way of support, and at the vile touch of the
man it was all Williams could do not to scream or strike out blindly.
They turned up Third Avenue and stopped at the
side door of a cheap saloon. He noticed the name of Schumacher over the porch,
but all lights were out except a feeble glow that came through the glass
fanlight. A man pushed his face cautiously round the half-opened door, and
after a brief examination let them in with a whispered remark to be quiet. It was
the usual formula of the Tammany saloonkeeper, who paid so much a month to the
police to be allowed to keep open all night, provided there was no noise or
fighting. It was now well after one o'clock in the morning, and the streets
were deserted.
The reporter was quite at home in the sort of
place they had entered; otherwise the sinister aspect of a drinking
"joint" after hours, with its gloom and general air of suspicion,
might have caused him some extra alarm. A dozen men, unpleasant of countenance,
were standing at the bar, where a single lamp gave just enough light to enable
them to see their glasses. The bar-tender gave Hensig a swift glance of
recognition as they walked along the sanded floor.
"Come," whispered the German; "we
go to the back room. I know the bass-word," he laughed, leading the way.
They walked to the far end of the bar and opened
a door into a brightly lit room with about a dozen tables in it, at most of
which men sat drinking with highly painted women, talking loudly, quarrelling,
singing, and the air thick with smoke. No one took any notice of them as they
went down the room to a table in the corner farthest from the door--Hensig
chose it; and when the single waiter came up with "Was nehmen die
Herren?" and a moment later brought the rye whisky they both asked for,
Williams swallowed his own without the "chaser" of soda water, and
ordered another on the spot.
"It'sh awfully watered," he said
rather thickly to his companion, "and I'm tired."
"Cocaine, under the circumstances, would
help you quicker, berhaps!" replied the German with an expression of
amusement. Good God! was there nothing about him the man had not found out? He
must have been shadowing him for days; it was at least a week since Williams
had been to the First Avenue drug store to get the wicked bottle refilled. Had
he been on his trail every night when he left the office to go home? This idea
of remorseless persistence made him shudder.
"Then we finish quickly if you are
tired," the doctor continued, "and to-morrow you can show me your
repordt for gorrections if you make any misdakes berhaps. I gif you the address
to-night pefore we leave."
The increased ugliness of his speech and accent
betrayed his growing excitement. Williams drank his whisky, again without
water, and called for yet another, clinking glasses with the murderer opposite,
and swallowing half of this last glass, too, while Hensig merely tasted his
own, looking straight at him over the performance with his evil eyes.
"I can write shorthand," began the
reporter, trying to appear at his ease.
"Ach, I know, of course."
There was a mirror behind the table, and he took
a quick glance round the room while the other began searching in his coat
pocket for the papers he had with him. Williams lost no single detail of his
movements, but at the same time managed swiftly to get the "note" of
the other occupants of the tables. Degraded and besotted faces he saw, almost
without exception, and not one to whom he could appeal for help with any
prospect of success. It was a further shock, too, to realise that he preferred
the more or less bestial countenances round him to the intellectual and ascetic
face opposite. They were at least human, whereas he was something quite outside
the pale; and this preference for the low creatures, otherwise loathsome to
him, brought his mind by sharp contrast to a new and vivid realisation of the
personality before him. He gulped down his drink, and again ordered it to be
refilled.
But meanwhile the alcohol was beginning to key
him up out of the dazed and negative state into which his first libations and
his accumulations of fear had plunged him. His brain became a shade clearer.
There was even a faint stirring of the will. He had already drunk enough under
normal circumstances to be simply reeling, but to-night the emotion of fear
inhibited the effects of the alcohol, keeping him singularly steady. Provided
he did not exceed a given point, he could go on drinking till he reached the
moment of high power when he could combine all his forces into the single
consummate act of cleverly calculated escape. If he missed this psychological
moment he would collapse.
A sudden crash made him jump. It was behind him
against the other wall. In the mirror he saw that a middle-aged man had lost
his balance and fallen off his chair, foolishly intoxicated, and that two women
were ostensibly trying to lift him up, but really were going swiftly through
his pockets as he lay in a heap on the floor. A big man who had been asleep the
whole evening in the corner stopped snoring and woke up to look and laugh, but
no one interfered. A man must take care of himself in such a place and with
such company, or accept the consequences. The big man composed himself again
for sleep, sipping his glass a little first, and the noise of the room
continued as before. It was a case of "knock-out drops" in the
whisky, put in by the women, however, rather than by the saloon-keeper.
Williams remembered thinking he had nothing to fear of that kind. Hensig's
method would be far more subtle and clever--cherms! A scratch with a pin and a
germ!
"I haf zome notes here of my
disgovery," he went on, smiling significantly at the interruption, and
taking some papers out of an inner pocket. "But they are written in
Cherman, so I dranslate for you. You haf paper and benzil?"
The reporter produced the sheaf of office copy
paper he always carried about with him, and prepared to write. The rattle of
the elevated trains outside and the noisy buzz of drunken conversation inside
formed the background against which he heard the German's steely insistent
voice going on ceaselessly with the "dranslation and egsplanation".
From time to time people left the room, and new customers reeled in. When the
clatter of incipient fighting and smashed glasses became too loud, Hensig
waited till it was quiet again. He watched every new arrival keenly. They were
very few now, for the night had passed into early morning and the room was
gradually emptying. The waiter took snatches of sleep in his chair by the door;
the big man still snored heavily in the angle of the wall and window. When he
was the only one left, the proprietor would certainly close up. He had not
ordered a drink for an hour at least. Williams, however, drank on steadily,
always aiming at the point when he would be at the top of his power, full of
confidence and decision. That moment was undoubtedly coming nearer all the
time. Yes, but so was the moment Hensig was waiting for. He, too, felt
absolutely confident, encouraging his companion to drink more, and watching his
gradual collapse with unmasked glee. He betrayed his gloating quite plainly
now: he held his victim too securely to feel anxious; when the big man reeled
out they would be alone for a brief minute or two unobserved--and meanwhile he
allowed himself to become a little too careless from over-confidence. And
Williams noted that too.
For slowly the will of the reporter began to
assert itself, and with this increase of intelligence he of course appreciated
his awful position more keenly, and therefore, felt more fear. The two main
things he was waiting for were coming perceptibly within reach: to reach the
saturation point of terror and the culminating moment of the alcohol. Then,
action and escape!
Gradually, thus, as he listened and wrote, he
passed from the stage of stupid, negative terror into that of active, positive
terror. The alcohol kept driving hotly at those hidden centres of imagination
within, which, once touched, begin to reveal: in other words, he became
observant, critical, alert. Swiftly the power grew. His lucidity increased till
he became almost conscious of the workings of the other man's mind, and it was
like sitting opposite a clock whose wheels and needles he could just hear
clicking. His eyes seemed to spread their power of vision all over his skin; he
could see what was going on without actually looking. In the same way he heard
all that passed in the room without turning his head. Every moment he became
clearer in mind. He almost touched clairvoyance. The presentiment earlier in
the evening that this stage would come was at last being actually fulfilled.
From time to time he sipped his whisky, but more
cautiously than at first, for he knew that this keen psychical activity was the
forerunner of helpless collapse. Only for a minute or two would he be at the
top of his power. The frontier was a dreadfully narrow one, and already he had
lost control of his fingers, and was scrawling a shorthand that bore no
resemblance to the original system of its inventor.
As the white light of this abnormal
perceptiveness increased, the horror of his position became likewise more and
more vivid. He knew that he was fighting for his life with a soulless and
malefic being who was next door to a devil. The sense of fear was being
magnified now with every minute that passed. Presently the power of perceiving
would pass into doing; he would strike the blow for his life, whatever form
that blow might take.
Already he was sufficiently master of himself to
act--to act in the sense of deceiving. He exaggerated his drunken writing and
thickness of speech, his general condition of collapse: and this power of
hearing the workings of the other man's mind showed him that he was successful.
Hensig was a little deceived. He proved this by
increased carelessness, and by allowing the expression of his face to become
plainly exultant.
Williams's faculties were so concentrated upon
the causes operating in the terrible personality opposite to him, that he could
spare no part of his brain for the explanations and sentences that came from
his lips. He did not hear or understand a hundredth part of what the doctor was
saving, but occasionally he caught up the end of a phrase and managed to ask a
blundering question out of it; and Hensig, obviously pleased with his
increasing obfuscation, always answered at some length, quietly watching with
pleasure the reporter's foolish hieroglyphics upon the paper.
The whole thing, of course, was an utter blind.
Hensig had no discovery at all. He was talking scientific jargon, knowing full
well that those shorthand notes would never be transcribed, and that he himself
would be out of harm's way long before his victim's senses had cleared
sufficiently to tell him that he was in the grasp of a deadly sickness which no
medicines could prevent ending in death.
Williams saw and felt all this clearly. It
somehow came to him, rising up in that clear depth of his mind that was stirred
by the alcohol, and yet beyond the reach, so far, of its deadly confusion. He
understood perfectly well that Hensig was waiting for a moment to act; that he
would do nothing violent, but would carry out his murderous intention in such
an innocent way that the victim would have no suspicions at the moment, and
would only realise later that he had been poisoned and--Hark! What was that?
There was a change. Something had happened. It was like the sound of a gong,
and the reporter's fear suddenly doubled. Hensig's scheme had moved forward a
step.
There was no sound actually, but his senses
seemed grouped together into one, and for some reason his perception of the
change came by way of audition. Fear brimmed up perilously near the
breaking-point. But the moment for action had not quite come yet, and he
luckily saved himself by the help of another and contrary emotion. He emptied
his glass, spilling half of it purposely over his coat, and burst out laughing
in Hensig's face. The vivid picture rose before him of Whitey Fife catching
cocktail glasses off the edge of Steve Brodie's table..The laugh was admirably
careless and drunken, but the German was startled and looked up suspiciously.
He had not expected this, and through lowered eyelids Williams observed an
expression of momentary uncertainty on his features, as though he felt he was
not absolutely master of the situation after all, as he imagined.
"Su'nly thought of Whitey Fife knocking
Stevebrodie off'sh Brooklyn Bridsh in a co-cock'tail glashh--" Williams
explained in a voice hopelessly out of control. "You know Whhhiteyfife, of
coursh, don't you?--ha, ha, ha!"
Nothing could have helped him more in putting
Hensig off the scent. His face resumed its expression of certainty and cold
purpose. The waiter, wakened by the noise, stirred uneasily in his chair, and
the big man in the corner indulged in a gulp that threatened to choke him as he
sat with his head sunk upon his chest. But otherwise the empty room became
quiet again. The German resumed his confident command of the situation.
Williams, he saw, was drunk enough to bring him easily into his net.
None the less, the reporter's perception had not
been at fault. There was a change. Hensig was about to do something, and his
mind was buzzing with preparations.
The victim, now within measuring distance of his
supreme moment--the point where terror would release his will, and alcohol
would inspire him beyond possibility of error--saw everything as in the clear
light of day. Small things led him to the climax: the emptied room; the
knowledge that shortly the saloon would close; the grey light of day stealing
under the chinks of door and shutter; the increased vileness of the face
gleaming at him opposite in the paling gas glare. Ugh! how the air reeked of
stale spirits, the fumes of cigar smoke, and the cheap scents of the vanished
women. The floor was strewn with sheets of paper, absurdly scrawled over. The
table had patches of wet, and cigarette ash lay over everything. His hands and
feet were icy, his eyes burning hot. His heart thumped like a soft hammer.
Hensig was speaking in quite a changed voice
now. He had been leading up to this point for hours. No one was there to see,
even if anything was to be seen--which was unlikely. The big man still snored;
the waiter was asleep too. There was silence in the outer room, and between the
walls of the inner there was--death.
"Now, Mr. Vulture reporder, I show you what
I mean all this time to egsplain," he was saying in his most metallic
voice.
He drew a blank sheet of the reporter's paper
towards him across the little table, avoiding carefully the wet splashes.
"Lend me your bencil von moment, please.
Yes?"
Williams, simulating almost total collapse,
dropped the pencil and shoved it over the polished wood as though the movement
was about all he could manage. With his head sunk forward upon his chest he
watched stupidly. Hensig began to draw some kind of outline; his touch was
firm, and there was a smile on his lips.
"Here, you see, is the human arm," he
said, sketching rapidly; "and here are the main nerves, and here the
artery. Now, my discovery, as I haf peen egsplaining to you, is simply--"
He dropped into a torrent of meaningless scientific phrases, during which the
other purposely allowed his hand to lie relaxed upon the table, knowing
perfectly well that in a moment Hensig would seize it--for the purposes of
illustration.
His terror was so intense that, for the first
time this awful night, he was within an ace of action. The point of saturation
had been almost reached. Though apparently sodden drunk, his mind was really at
the highest degree of clear perception and judgment, and in another moment--the
moment Hensig actually began his final assault--the terror would provide the
reporter with the extra vigour and decision necessary to strike his one blow.
Exactly how he would do it, or what precise form it would take, he had no idea;
that could be left to the inspiration of the moment; he only knew that his
strength would last just long enough to bring this about, and that then he
would collapse in utter intoxication upon the floor. Hensig dropped the pencil
suddenly: it clattered away to a corner of the room, showing it had been
propelled with force, not merely allowed to fall, and he made no attempt to
pick it up. Williams, to test his intention, made a pretended movement to stoop
after it, and the other, as he imagined he would, stopped him in a second.
"I haf another," he said quickly,
diving into his inner pocket and producing a long dark pencil. Williams saw in
a flash, through his half-closed eyes, that it was sharpened at one end, while
the other end was covered by a little protective cap of transparent substance
like glass, a third of an inch long. He heard it click as it struck a button of
the coat, and also saw that by a very swift motion of the fingers, impossible
to be observed by a drunken man, Hensig removed the cap so that the end was
free. Something gleamed there for a moment, something like a point of shining
metal--the point of a pin.
"Gif me your hand von minute and I drace
the nerve up the arm I speak apout," the doctor continued in that steely
voice that showed no sign of nervousness, though he was on the edge of murder.
"So, I show you much petter vot I mean."
Without a second's hesitation--for the moment
for action had not quite come--he lurched forward and stretched his arm
clumsily across the table. Hensig seized the fingers in his own and turned the
palm uppermost. With his other hand he pointed the pencil at the wrist, and
began moving it a little up towards the elbow, pushing the sleeve back for the
purpose. His touch was the touch of death. On the point of the black pin,
engrafted into the other end of the pencil, Williams knew there clung the germs
of some deadly disease, germs unusually powerful from special culture; and that
within the next few seconds the pencil would turn and the pin would
accidentally scratch his wrist and let the virulent poison into his blood.
He knew this, yet at the same time he managed to
remain master of himself. For he also realised that at last, just in the nick
of time, the moment he had been waiting for all through these terrible hours
had actually arrived, and he was ready to act.
And the little unimportant detail that furnished
the extra quota of fear necessary to bring him to the point was--touch. It was
the touch of Hensig's hand that did it, setting every nerve a-quiver to its
utmost capacity, filling him with a black horror that reached the limits of
sensation.
In that moment Williams regained his
self-control and became absolutely sober. Terror removed its paralysing
inhibitions, having led him to the point where numbness succeeds upon excess,
and sensation ceases to register in the brain. The emotion of fear was dead,
and he was ready to act with all the force of his being--that force, too,
raised to a higher power after long repression.
Moreover, he could make no mistake, for at the
same time he had reached the culminating effect of the alcohol, and a sort of
white light filled his mind, showing him clearly what to do and how to do it.
He felt master of himself, confident, capable of anything. He followed blindly
that inner guidance he had been dimly conscious of the whole night, and what he
did he did instinctively, as it were, without deliberate plan.
He was waiting for the pencil to turn so that
the pin pointed at his vein. Then, when Hensig was wholly concentrated upon the
act of murder, and thus oblivious of all else, he would find his opportunity.
For at this supreme moment the German's mind would be focussed on the one
thing. He would notice nothing else round him. He would be open to successful
attack. But this supreme moment would hardly last more than five seconds at
most!
The reporter raised his eyes and stared for the
first time steadily into his opponent's eyes, till the room faded out and he
saw only the white skin in a blaze of its own light. Thus staring, he caught in
himself the full stream of venom, hatred, and revenge that had been pouring at
him across the table for so long--caught and held it for one instant, and then
returned it into the other's brain with all its original force and the added
impetus of his own recovered will behind it.
Hensig felt this, and for a moment seemed to
waver; he was surprised out of himself by the sudden change in his victim's
attitude. The same instant, availing himself of a diversion caused by the big
man in the corner waking noisily and trying to rise, he slowly turned the
pencil round so that the point of the pin was directed at the hand lying in
his. The sleepy waiter was helping the drunken man to cross to the door, and
the diversion was all in his favour.
But Williams knew what he was doing. He did not
even tremble.
"When that pin scratches me," he said
aloud in a firm, sober voice, "it means--death."
The German could not conceal his surprise on
hearing the change of voice, but he still felt sure of his victim, and clearly
wished to enjoy his revenge thoroughly. After a moment's hesitation he replied,
speaking very low:
"You tried, I tink, to get me conficted,
and now I punish you, dat is all."
His fingers moved, and the point of the pin
descended a little lower. Williams felt the faintest imaginable prick on his
skin--or thought he did. The German had lowered his head again to direct the
movement of the pin properly. But the moment of Hensig's concentration was also
the moment of his own attack. And it had come.
"But the alcohol will counteract it!"
he burst out, with a loud and startling laugh that threw the other completely
off his guard. The doctor lifted his face in amazement. That same instant the
hand that lay so helplessly and tipsily in his turned like a flash of lightning,
and, before he knew what had happened, their positions were reversed. Williams
held his wrist, pencil and all, in a grasp of iron. And from the reporter's
other hand the German received a terrific smashing blow in the face that broke
his glasses and dashed him back with a howl of pain against the wall.
There was a brief passage of scramble and wild
blows, during which both table and chairs were sent flying, and then Williams
was aware that a figure behind him had stretched forth an arm and was holding a
bright silvery thing close to Hensig's bleeding face. Another glance showed him
that it was a pistol, and that the man holding it was the big drunken man who
had apparently slept all night in the corner of the room. Then, in a flash, he
recognised him as Dowling's partner--a headquarters detective.
The reporter stepped back, his head swimming
again. He was very unsteady on his feet.
"I've been watching your game all the
evening," he heard the headquarters man saying as he slipped the handcuffs
over the German's unresisting wrists. "We have been on your trail for
weeks, and I might jest as soon have taken you when you left the Brooklyn
church a few hours ago, only I wanted to see what you were up to--see? You're
wanted in Berlin for one or two little dirty tricks, but our advices only came
last night. Come along now."
"You'll get nozzing," Hensig replied
very quietly, wiping his bloody face with the corner of his sleeve. "See,
I have scratched myself!"
The detective took no notice of this remark, not
understanding it, probably, but Williams noticed the direction of the eyes, and
saw a scratch on his wrist, slightly bleeding. Then he understood that in the
struggle the pin had accidentally found another destination than the one
intended for it.
But he remembered nothing more after that, for
the reaction set in with a rush. The strain of that awful night left him
utterly limp, and the accumulated effect of the alcohol, now that all was past,
overwhelmed him like a wave, and he sank in a heap upon the floor, unconscious.
* * * The illness that followed was simply
"nerves", and he got over it in a week or two, and returned to his
work on the paper. He at once made inquiries, and found that Hensig's arrest
had hardly been noticed by the papers. There was no interesting feature about
it, and New York was already in the throes of a new horror.
But Dowling, that enterprising Irishman--always
with an eye to promotion and the main chance--Dowling had something to say
about it.
"No luck, Mr. English," he said
ruefully, "no luck at all. It would have been a mighty good story, but it
never got in the papers. That damned German, Schmidt, alias Brunner, alias
Hensig, died in the prison hospital before we could even get him remanded for
further inquiries--"
"What did he die of?" interrupted the
reporter quickly.
"Black typhus. I think they call it. But it
was terribly swift, and he was dead in four days. The doctor said he'd never
known such a case."
"I'm glad he's out of the way,"
observed Williams.
"Well, yes," Dowling said
hesitatingly; "but it was a jim dandy of a story, an' he might have waited
a little bit longer jest so as I got something out of it for meself."
He arrived late at night by the yellow
diligence, stiff and cramped after the toilsome ascent of three slow hours. The
village, a single mass of shadow, was already asleep. Only in front of the
little hotel was there noise and light and bustle--for a moment. The horses,
with tired, slouching gait, crossed the road and disappeared into the stable of
their own accord, their harness trailing in the dust; and the lumbering
diligence stood for the night where they had dragged it--the body of a great
yellow-sided beetle with broken legs.
In spite of his physical weariness, the
schoolmaster, revelling in the first hours of his ten-guinea holiday, felt
exhilarated. For the high Alpine valley was marvellously still; stars twinkled
over the torn ridges of the Dent du Midi where spectral snows gleamed against
rocks that looked like ebony; and the keen air smelt of pine forests,
dew-soaked pastures, and freshly sawn wood.
He took it all in with a kind of bewildered
delight for a few minutes, while the other three passengers gave directions
about their luggage and went to their rooms. Then he turned and walked over the
coarse matting into the glare of the hall, only just able to resist stopping to
examine the big mountain map that hung upon the wall by the door.
And, with a sudden disagreeable shock, he came
down from the ideal to the actual. For at the inn--the only inn--there was no
vacant room. Even the available sofas were occupied.
How stupid he had been not to write! Yet it had
been impossible, he remembered, for he had come to the decision suddenly that
morning in Geneva, enticed by the brilliance of the weather after a week of
rain.
They talked endlessly, this gold-braided porter
and the hard-faced old woman--her face was hard, he noticed--gesticulating all
the time, and pointing all about the village with suggestions that he ill
understood, for his French was limited and their patois was fearful.
'There!'--he might find a room, 'or there! But
we are, hélas full--more full than we care about. To-morrow, perhaps-if
So-and-So give up their rooms--!' And then, with much shrugging of shoulders,
the hard-faced old woman stared at the gold-braided porter, and the porter
stared sleepily at the school-master.
At length, however, by some process of hope he
did not himself understand, and following directions given by the old woman
that were utterly unintelligible, he went out into the street and walked
towards a dark group of houses she had pointed out to him. He only knew that he
meant to thunder at a door and ask for a room. He was too weary to think out
details. The porter half made to go with him, but turned back at the last
moment to speak with the old woman. The houses sketched themselves dimly in the
general blackness. The air was cold. The whole valley was filled with the rush
and thunder of falling water. He was thinking vaguely that the dawn could not
be very far away, and that he might even spend the night wandering in the
woods, when there was a sharp noise behind him and he turned to see a figure
hurrying after him. It was the porter--running.
And in the little hall of the inn there began
again a confused three-cornered conversation, with frequent muttered colloquy
and whispered asides in patois between the woman and the porter--the net result
of which was that, 'If Monsieur did not object--there was a room, after all, on
the first floor--only it was in a sense "engaged". That is to say--'
But the school-master took the room without inquiring too closely into the
puzzle that had somehow provided it so suddenly. The ethics of hotel-keeping
had nothing to do with him. If the woman offered him quarters it was not for
him to argue with her whether the said quarters were legitimately hers to
offer.
But the porter, evidently a little thrilled,
accompanied the guest up to the room and supplied in a mixture of French and
English details omitted by the landlady--and Minturn, the schoolmaster, soon
shared the thrill with him, and found himself in the atmosphere of a possible
tragedy.
All who know the peculiar excitement that
belongs to lofty mountain valleys where dangerous climbing is a chief feature
of the attractions, will understand a certain faint element of high alarm that
goes with the picture. One looks up at the desolate, soaring ridges and thinks
involuntarily of the men who find their pleasure for days and nights together
scaling perilous summits among the clouds, and conquering inch by inch the icy
peaks that for ever shake their dark terror in the sky.
The atmosphere of adventure, spiced with the
possible horror of a very grim order of tragedy, is inseparable from any
imaginative contemplation of the scene: and the idea Minturn gleaned from the
half-frightened porter lost nothing by his ignorance of the language. This
Englishwoman, the real occupant of the room, had insisted on going without a
guide. She had left just before daybreak two days before--the porter had seen
her start--and...she had not returned! The route was difficult and dangerous,
yet not impossible for a skilled climber, even a solitary one.
And the Englishwoman was an experienced
mountaineer. Also, she was self-willed, careless of advice, bored by warnings,
self-confident to a degree. Queer, moreover; for she kept entirely to herself,
and sometimes remained in her room with locked doors, admitting no one, for
days together; a 'crank,' evidently, of the first water.
This much Minturn gathered clearly enough from
the porter's talk while his luggage was brought in and the room set to rights;
further, too, that the search party had gone out and might, of course, return
at any moment. In which case--. Thus the room was empty, yet still hers. 'If
Monsieur did not object--if the risk he ran of having to turn out suddenly in
the night--' It was the loquacious porter who furnished the details that made
the transaction questionable; and Minturn dismissed the loquacious porter as
soon as possible, and prepared to get into the hastily arranged bed and snatch
all the hours of sleep he could before he was turned out.
At first, it must be admitted, he felt
uncomfortable--distinctly uncomfortable. He was in some one else's room. He had
really no right to be there. It was in the nature of an unwarrantable
intrusion; and while he unpacked he kept looking over shoulder as though some
one were watching him from corners. Any moment, it seemed, he would hear a step
in the passage, a knock would come at the door, the door would open and there
he would see this vigorous Englishwoman looking him up and down with anger.
Worse still--he would hear her voice asking him what he was doing in her
room--her bedroom. Of course, he had an adequate explanation, but still--!
Then, reflecting that he was already half
undressed, the humour of it flashed for a second across his mind, and he
laughed--quietly. And at once, after that laughter, under his breath, came the
sudden sense of tragedy he had felt before. Perhaps, even while he smiled, her
body lay broken and cold upon those awful heights, the wind of snow playing
over her hair, her glazed eyes staring sightless up to the stars...It made him
shudder. The sense of this woman whom he had never seen, whose name even he did
not know, became extraordinarily real. Almost he could imagine that she was
somewhere in the room with him, hidden, observing all he did.
He opened the door softly to put his boots
outside, and when he closed it again he turned the key. Then he finished
unpacking and distributed his few things about the room. It was soon done, for,
in the first place, he had only a small Gladstone and a knapsack, and secondly,
the only place where he could spread his clothes was the sofa. There was no
chest of drawers, and the cupboard, an unusually large and solid one, was
locked. The Englishwoman's things had evidently been hastily put away in it.
The only sign of her recent presence was a bunch of faded Alpenrosen standing
in a glass jar upon the wash-hand-stand. This, and a certain faint perfume,
were all that remained. In spite, however, of these very slight evidences, the
whole room was pervaded with a curious sense of occupancy that he found
exceedingly distasteful. One moment the atmosphere seemed subtly charged with a
'just left' feeling; the next it was a queer awareness of 'still here' that
made him turn and look hurriedly behind him.
Altogether, the room inspired him with a
singular aversion, and the strength of this aversion seemed the only excuse for
his tossing the faded flowers out of the window, and then hanging his
mackintosh upon the cupboard door in such a way as to screen it as much as
possible from view.
For the sight of that big, ugly cupboard, filled
with the clothing of a woman who might then be beyond any further need of
covering--thus his imagination insisted on picturing it--touched in him a
startled sense of the incongruous that did not stop there, but crept through
his mind gradually till it merged somehow into a sense of a rather grotesque
horror. At any rate, the sight of that cupboard was offensive, and he covered
it almost instinctively. Then, turning out the electric light, he got into bed.
But the instant the room was dark he realised
that it was more than he could stand; for, with the blackness, there came a
sudden rush of cold that he found it hard to explain. And the odd thing was
that, when he lit the candle beside his bed, he noticed that his hand trembled.
This, of course, was too much. His imagination
was taking liberties and must be called to heel.
Yet the way he called it to order was
significant, and its very deliberateness betrayed a mind that has already
admitted fear. And fear, once in, is difficult to dislodge. He lay there upon
his elbow in bed and carefully took note of all the objects in the room--with
the intention, as it were, of taking an inventory of everything his senses
perceived, then drawing a line, adding them up finally, and saying with
decision, 'That's all the room contains! I've counted every single thing.
There is nothing more. Now--I may sleep in
peace!'
And it was during this absurd process of
enumerating the furniture of the room that the dreadful sense of distressing
lassitude came over him that made it difficult even to finish counting. It came
swiftly, yet with an amazing kind of violence that overwhelmed him softly and
easily with a sensation of enervating weariness hard to describe. And its first
effect was to banish fear. He no longer possessed enough energy to feel really
afraid or nervous. The cold remained, but the alarm vanished. And into every
corner of his usually vigorous personality crept the insidious poison of a
muscular fatigue--at first--that in a few seconds, it seemed, translated itself
into spiritual inertia. A sudden consciousness of the foolishness, the crass
futility of life, of effort, of fighting--of all that makes life worth living,
oozed into every fibre of his being, and left him utterly weak. A spit of black
pessimism, that was not even vigorous enough to assert itself, invaded the
secret chambers of his heart...
Every picture that presented itself to his mind
came dressed grey shadows; those bored and sweating horses toiling up the
ascent to--nothing! That hard-faced landlady taking so much trouble to let her
desire for gain conquer her sense of morality--for a few francs! That
gold-braided porter, so talkative, fussy, energetic, and so anxious to tell all
he knew! What was the use of them all? And for himself, what in the world was
the good of all the labour and drudgery he went through in that preparatory
school where he was junior master? What could it lead to?
Wherein lay the value of so much uncertain toil,
when the ultimate secrets of life were hidden, and no one knew the final goal?
How foolish was effort, discipline, work! How vain was pleasure! How trivial
the noblest life!...
With a jump that nearly upset the candle Minturn
challenge this weak mood. Such vicious thoughts were usually so remote from his
normal character that the sudden vile invasion produced a swift reaction. Yet,
only for a moment. Instantly, again, the depression descended upon him like a
wave. His work--it could lead to nothing but the dreary labour of a small
headmastership after all--seemed as vain and foolish as his holiday in the
Alps. What an idiot he had been, to be sure, to come out with a knapsack merely
to work himself into a state of exhaustion climbing over toilsome mountains
that led to nowhere--resulted in nothing. A dreariness of the grave possessed
him. Life was a ghastly fraud! Religion a childish humbug!
Everything was merely a trap--a trap of death; a
coloured toy that Nature used as a decoy! But a decoy for what? For nothing!
There was no meaning in anything. The only real thing was--DEATH. And the
happiest people were those who found it soonest.
Then why wait for it to come?
He sprang out of bed, thoroughly frightened.
This was horrible. Surely mere physical fatigue could not produce a world a
black, an outlook so dismal, a cowardice that struck with rich sudden
hopelessness at the very roots of life? For, normally, he was cheerful and
strong, full of the tides of healthy living; and this appalling lassitude swept
the very basis of his personality into nothingness and the desire for death. It
was like the development of a Secondary Personality. He had read, of course,
how certain persons who suffered shocks developed thereafter entirely different
characteristics, memory, tastes, and so forth. It had all rather frightened
him. Though scientific men vouched for it, it was hardly to be believed. Yet
here was similar thing taking place in his own consciousness. He was, beyond
question, experiencing all the mental variations of--someone else! It was
un-moral. It was awful. It was--well, after all, at the same time, it was
uncommonly interesting.
And this interest he began to feel was the first
sign of his returned normal Self. For to feel interest is to live, and to love
life.
He sprang into the middle of the room--then
switched on the electric light. And the first thing that struck his eye
was--the big cupboard.
'Hallo! There's that--beastly cupboard!' he
exclaimed to himself, involuntarily, yet aloud. It held all the clothes, the
winging skirts and coats and summer blouses of the dead woman. For he knew
now--somehow or other--that she was dead...
At that moment, through the open windows, rushed
the sound of falling water, bringing with it a vivid realisation of the
desolate, snow-swept heights. He saw her--positively saw her!--lying where she
had fallen, the frost upon her cheeks, the snow-dust eddying about her hair and
eyes, her broken limbs pushing against the lumps of ice. For a moment the sense
of spiritual lassitude--of the emptiness of life--vanished before this picture
of broken effort--of a small human force battling pluckily, yet in vain,
against the impersonal and pitiless potencies of inanimate nature--and he found
himself again his normal self. Then instantly, returned again that terrible
sense of cold, nothingness, emptiness...
And he found himself standing opposite the big
cupboard where her clothes were. He suddenly wanted to see those
clothes--things she had used and worn. Quite close he stood, almost touching
it. The next second he had touched it. His knuckles struck upon the wood.
Why he knocked is hard to say. It was an
instinctive movement probably. Something in his deepest self dictated
it--ordered it. He knocked at the door. And the dull sound upon the wood into
the stillness of that room brought--horror. Why it should have done so he found
it as hard to explain to himself as why he should have felt impelled to knock.
The fact remains that when he heard the faint reverberation inside the
cupboard, it brought with it so vivid a realisation of the woman's presence
that he stood there shivering upon the floor with a dreadful sense of
anticipation; he almost expected to hear an answering knock from within--the
rustling of the hanging skirts perhaps--or, worse still, to see the locked door
slowly open towards him.
And from that moment, he declares that in some
way or other he must have partially lost control of himself, or at least of his
better judgment; for he became possessed by such an over-mastering desire to
tear open that cupboard door and see the clothes within, that he tried every
key in the room in the vain effort to unlock it, and then, finally, before he
quite realised what he was doing--rang the bell!
But, having rung the bell for no obvious or
intelligent reason at two o'clock in the morning, he then stood waiting in the
middle of the floor for the servant to come, conscious for the first time that
something outside his ordinary self had pushed him towards the act. It was
almost like an internal voice that directed him...and thus, when at last steps
came down the passage and he faced the cross and sleepy chambermaid, amazed at
being summoned at such an hour, he found no difficulty in the matter of what he
should say. For the same power that insisted he should open the cupboard door
also impelled him to utter words over which he apparently had no control.
'It's not you I rang for!' he said with decision
and impatience. 'I want a man. Wake the porter and send him up to me at
once--hurry! I tell you, hurry--!'
And when the girl had gone, frightened at his
earnestness, Minturn realised that the words surprised himself as much as they
surprised her. Until they were out of his mouth he had not known what exactly
he was saying. But now he understood that some force, foreign to his own
personality, was using his mind and organs. The black depression that had
possessed him a few moments before was also part of it. The powerful mood of
this vanished woman had somehow momentarily taken possession of
him--communicated, possibly, by the atmosphere of things in the room still
belonging to her. But even now, when the porter, without coat or collar, stood
beside him in the room, he did not understand why he insisted, with a positive
fury admitting no denial, that the key of that cupboard must be found and the
door instantly opened.
The scene was a curious one. After some
perplexed whispering with the chambermaid at the end of the passage, the porter
managed to find and produce the key in question. Neither he nor the girl knew
clearly what this excited Englishman was up to, or why he was so passionately
intent upon opening the cupboard at two o'clock in the morning. They watched
him with an air of wondering what was going to happen next. But something of
his curious earnestness, even of his late fear, communicated itself to them,
and the sound of the key grating in lock made them both jump.
They held their breath as the creaking door
swung slowly open. All heard the clatter of that other key as it fell against
the wooden floor--within. The cupboard had been locked from the inside. But it
was the scared housemaid, from her position in the corridor, who first saw--and
with a wild scream fell crashing against the banisters.
The porter made no attempt to save her. The
schoolmaster and himself made a simultaneous rush towards the door, now wide
open. They, too, had seen.
There were no clothes, skirts or blouses on the
pegs, but they saw the body of the Englishwoman suspended in mid-air, the head
bent forward. Jarred by the movement of unlocking, the body swung slowly round
to face them...Pinned upon the inside of the door was a hotel envelope with the
following words pencilled in straggling writing: 'Tired--unhappy--hopelessly
depressed...I cannot face life any longer...All is black. I must put an end to
it...I meant to do it on the mountains, but was afraid. I slipped back to my
room unobserved. This way is easiest and best...'
It used to puzzle him that, after dark, some one
would look in round the edge of the bedroom door, and withdraw again too
rapidly for him to see the face. When the nurse had gone away with the candle
this happened: "Good night, Master Tim," she said usually, shading
the light with one hand to protect his eyes; "dream of me and I'll dream
of you." She went out slowly.
The sharp-edged shadow of the door ran across
the ceiling like a train. There came a whispered colloquy in the corridor
outside, about himself, of course, and--he was alone. He heard her steps going
deeper and deeper into the bosom of the old country house; they were audible
for a moment on the stone flooring of the hall; and sometimes the dull thump of
the baize door into the servants' quarters just reached him, too--then silence.
But it was only when the last sound, as well as the last sign of her had
vanished, that the face emerged from its hiding-place and flashed in upon him
round the corner. As a rule, too, it came just as he was saying, "Now I'll
go to sleep. I won't think any longer. Good night, Master Tim, and happy
dreams." He loved to say this to himself; it brought a sense of
companionship, as though there were two persons speaking.
The room was on the top of the old house, a big,
high-ceilinged room, and his bed against the wall had an iron railing round it;
he felt very safe and protected in it. The curtains at the other end of the
room were drawn. He lay watching the firelight dancing on the heavy folds, and
their pattern, showing a spaniel chasing a long-tailed bird towards a bushy
tree, interested and amused him. It was repeated over and over again. He
counted the number of dogs, and the number of birds, and the number of trees,
but could never make them agree. There was a plan somewhere in that pattern; if
only he could discover it, the dogs and birds and trees would "come out right."
Hundreds and hundreds of times he had played
this game, for the plan in the pattern made it possible to take sides, and the
bird and dog were against him. They always won, however; Tim usually fell
asleep just when the advantage was on his own side. The curtains hung steadily
enough most of the time, but it seemed to him once or twice that they
stirred--hiding a dog or bird on purpose to prevent his winning. For instance,
he had eleven birds and eleven trees, and, fixing them in his mind by saying,
"that's eleven birds and eleven trees, but only ten dogs," his eyes
darted back to find the eleventh dog, when--the curtain moved and threw all his
calculations into confusion again. The eleventh dog was hidden. He did not
quite like the movement; it gave him questionable feelings, rather, for the
curtain did not move of itself. Yet, usually, he was too intent upon counting
the dogs to feel positive alarm.
Opposite to him was the fireplace, full of red
and yellow coals; and, lying with his head sideways on the pillow, he could see
directly in between the bars. When the coals settled with a soft and powdery
crash, he turned his eyes from the curtains to the grate, trying to discover
exactly which bits had fallen. So long as the glow was there the sound seemed
pleasant enough, but sometimes he awoke later in the night, the room huge with
darkness, the fire almost out--and the sound was not so pleasant then. It
startled him. The coals did not fall of themselves. It seemed that some one
poked them cautiously. The shadows were very thick before the bars. As with the
curtains, moreover, the morning aspect of the extinguished fire, the ice-cold
cinders that made a clinking sound like tin, caused no emotion whatever in his
soul.
And it was usually while he lay waiting for sleep,
tired both of the curtain and the coal games, on the point, indeed, of saying,
"I'll go to sleep now," that the puzzling thing took place.
He would be staring drowsily at the dying fire,
perhaps counting the stockings and flannel garments that hung along the high
fender-rail when, suddenly, a person looked in with lightning swiftness through
the door and vanished again before he could possibly turn his head to see. The
appearance and disappearance were accomplished with amazing rapidity always.
It was a head and shoulders that looked in, and
the movement combined the speed, the lightness and the silence of a shadow.
Only it was not a shadow. A hand held the edge of the door. The face shot
round, saw him, and withdrew like lightning. It was utterly beyond him to
imagine anything more quick and clever. It darted. He heard no sound. It went.
But--it had seen him, looked him all over, examined him, noted what he was
doing with that lightning glance. It wanted to know if he were awake still, or
asleep. And though it went off, it still watched him from a distance; it waited
somewhere; it knew all about him. Where it waited no one could ever guess. It
came probably, he felt, from beyond the house, possibly from the roof, but most
likely from the garden or the sky. Yet, though strange, it was not terrible. It
was a kindly and protective figure, he felt. And when it happened he never
called for help, because the occurrence simply took his voice away.
"It comes from the Nightmare Passage,"
he decided; "but it's not a nightmare." It puzzled him.
Sometimes, moreover, it came more than once in a
single night. He was pretty sure--not quite positive--that it occupied his room
as soon as he was properly asleep. It took possession, sitting perhaps before
the dying fire, standing upright behind the heavy curtains, or even lying down
in the empty bed his brother used when he was home from school. Perhaps it
played the curtain game, perhaps it poked the coals; it knew, at any rate,
where the eleventh dog had lain concealed. It certainly came in and out;
certainly, too, it did not wish to be seen. For, more than once, on waking
suddenly in the midnight blackness, Tim knew it was standing close beside his
bed and bending over him. He felt, rather than heard, its presence. It glided quietly
away. It moved with marvellous softness, yet he was positive it moved. He felt
the difference, so to speak. It had been near him, now it was gone. It came
back, too--just as he was falling into sleep again. Its midnight coming and
going, however, stood out sharply different from its first shy, tentative
approach. For in the firelight it came alone; whereas in the black and silent
hours, it had with it--others.
And it was then he made up his mind that its
swift and quiet movements were due to the fact that it had wings. It flew. And
the others that came with it in the darkness were "its little ones."
He also made up his mind that all were friendly,
comforting, protective, and that while positively not a Nightmare, it yet came
somehow along the Nightmare Passage before it reached him. "You see, it's
like this," he explained to the nurse: "The big one comes to visit me
alone, but it only brings its little ones when I'm quite asleep."
"Then the quicker you get to sleep the
better, isn't it, Master Tim?"
He replied: "Rather! I always do. Only I
wonder where they come from!" He spoke, however, as though he had an
inkling.
But the nurse was so dull about it that he gave
her up and tried his father. "Of course, replied this busy but
affectionate parent, "it's either nobody at all, or else it's Sleep coming
to carry you away to the land of dreams." He made the statement kindly but
somewhat briskly, for he was worried just then about the extra taxes on his
land, and the effort to fix his mind on Tim's fanciful world was beyond him at
the moment. He lifted the boy on to his knee, kissed and patted him as though
he were a favourite dog, and planted him on the rug again with a flying sweep.
"Run and ask your mother," he added;
"she knows all that kind of thing. Then come back and tell me all about
it--another time."
Tim found his mother in an arm-chair before the
fire of another room; she was knitting and reading at the same time--a
wonderful thing the boy could never understand. She raised her head as he came
in, pushed her glasses on to her forehead, and held her arms out. He told her
everything, ending up with what his father said.
"You see, it's not Jackman, or Thompson, or
any one like that," he exclaimed. "It's some one real."
"But nice," she assured him,
"some one who comes to take care of you and see that you're all safe and
cosy."
"Oh, yes, I know that. But--"
"I think your father's right," she
added quickly. "It's Sleep, I'm sure, who pops in round the door like
that. Sleep has got wings, I've always heard."
"Then the other thing--the little
ones?" he asked. "Are they just sorts of dozes, you think?"
Mother did not answer for a moment. She turned
down the page of her book, closed it slowly, put it on the table beside her.
More slowly still she put her knitting away, arranging the wool and needles
with some deliberation.
"Perhaps," she said, drawing the boy
closer to her and looking into his big eyes of wonder, "they're
dreams!"
Tim felt a thrill run through him as she said
it. He stepped back a foot or so and clapped his hands softly.
"Dreams!" he whispered with enthusiasm and belief; "of course! I
never thought of that."
His mother, having proved her sagacity, then
made a mistake. She noted her success, but instead of leaving it there, she
elaborated and explained. As Tim expressed it she "went on about it."
Therefore he did not listen. He followed his train of thought alone. And
presently, he interrupted her long sentences with a conclusion of his own:
"Then I know where She hides," he
announced with a touch of awe. "Where She lives, I mean." And without
waiting to be asked, he imparted the information: "It's in the Other
Wing."
"Ah!" said his mother, taken by
surprise. "How clever of you, Tim!"--and thus confirmed it.
Thenceforward this was established in his life--that
Sleep and her attendant Dreams hid during the daytime in that unused portion of
the great Elizabethan mansion called the Other Wing. This other wing was
unoccupied, its corridors untrodden, its windows shuttered and its rooms all
closed. At various places green baize doors led into it, but no one ever opened
them.
For many years this part had been shut up; and
for the children, properly speaking, it was out of bounds. They never mentioned
it as a possible place, at any rate; in hide-and-seek it was not considered,
even; there was a hint of the inaccessible about the Other Wing. Shadows, dust,
and silence had it to themselves.
But Tim, having ideas of his own about
everything, possessed special information about the Other Wing. He believed it
was inhabited. Who occupied the immense series of empty rooms, who trod the
spacious corridors, who passed to and fro behind the shuttered windows, he had
not known exactly. He had called these occupants "they," and the most
important among them was "The Ruler." The Ruler of the Other Wing was
a kind of deity, powerful, far away, ever present yet never seen.
And about this Ruler he had a wonderful
conception for a little boy; he connected her, somehow, with deep thoughts of
his own, the deepest of all. When he made up adventures to the moon, to the
stars, or to the bottom of the sea, adventures that he lived inside himself as
it were--to reach them he must invariably pass through the chambers of the
Other Wing. Those corridors and halls, the Nightmare Passage among them, lay
along the route; they were the first stage of the journey. Once the green baize
doors swung to behind him and the long dim passage stretched ahead, he was well
on his way into the adventure of the moment; the Nightmare Passage once passed,
he was safe from capture; but once the shutters of a window had been flung
open, he was free of the gigantic world that lay beyond. For then light poured
in and he could see his way.
The conception, for a child, was curious. It
established a correspondence between the mysterious chambers of the Other Wing
and the occupied, but unguessed chambers of his Inner Being. Through these
chambers, through these darkened corridors, along a passage, sometimes
dangerous, or at least of questionable repute, he must pass to find all
adventures that were real.
The light--when he pierced far enough to take
the shutters down--was discovery. Tim did not actually think, much less say,
all this. He was aware of it, however. He felt it. The Other Wing was inside
himself as well as through the green baize doors. His inner man of wonder
included both of them.
But now, for the first time in his life, he knew
who lived there and who the Ruler was. A shutter had fallen of its own accord;
light poured in; he made a guess, and Mother had confirmed it. Sleep and her
Little Ones, the host of dreams, were the daylight occupants. They stole out
when the darkness fell. All adventures in life began and ended by a
dream--discoverable by first passing through the Other Wing.
And, having settled this, his one desire now was
to travel over the map upon journeys of exploration and discovery. The map
inside himself he knew already, but the map of the Other Wing he had not seen.
His mind knew it, he had a clear mental picture of rooms and halls and passages,
but his feet had never trod the silent floors where dust and shadows hid the
flock of dreams by day. The mighty chambers where Sleep ruled he longed to
stand in, to see the Ruler face to face. He made up his mind to get into the
Other Wing.
To accomplish this was difficult; but Tim was a
determined youngster, and he meant to try; he meant, also, to succeed. He
deliberated. At night he could not possibly manage it; in any case, the Ruler
and her host all left it after dark, to fly about the world; the Wing would be
empty, and the emptiness would frighten him. Therefore he must make a daylight
visit; and it was a daylight visit he decided on. He deliberated more. There
were rules and risks involved: it meant going out of bounds, the danger of
being seen, the certainty of being questioned by some idle and inquisitive
grown-up: "Where in the world have you been all this time"--and so
forth. These things he thought out carefully, and though he arrived at no
solution, he felt satisfied that it would be all right. That is, he recognised
the risks. To be prepared was half the battle, for nothing then could take him
by surprise.
The notion that he might slip in from the garden
was soon abandoned; the red bricks showed no openings; there was no door; from
the courtyard, also, entrance was impracticable; even on tiptoe he could barely
reach the broad window-sills of stone. When playing alone, or walking with the
French governess, he examined every outside possibility. None offered. The
shutters, supposing he could reach them, were thick and solid.
Meanwhile, when opportunity offered, he stood
against the outside walls and listened, his ear pressed against the tight red
bricks; the towers and gables of the Wing rose overhead; he heard the wind go
whispering along the eaves; he imagined tiptoe movements and a sound of wings
inside. Sleep and her Little Ones were busily preparing for their journeys
after dark; they hid, but they did not sleep; in this unused Wing, vaster alone
than any other country house he had ever seen, Sleep taught and trained her
flock of feathered Dreams. It was very wonderful. They probably supplied the
entire county. But more wonderful still was the thought that the Ruler herself
should take the trouble to come to his particular room and personally watch
over him all night long. That was amazing. And it flashed across his
imaginative, inquiring mind: "Perhaps they take me with them! The moment
I'm asleep! That's why she comes to see me!"
Yet his chief preoccupation was, how Sleep got
out. Through the green baize doors, of course! By a process of elimination he
arrived at a conclusion: he, too, must enter through a green baize door and
risk detection.
Of late, the lightning visits had ceased. The
silent, darting figure had not peeped in and vanished as it used to do. He fell
asleep too quickly now, almost before Jackman reached the hall, and long before
the fire began to die. Also, the dogs and birds upon the curtains always
matched the trees exactly, and he won the curtain game quite easily; there was
never a dog or bird too many the curtain never stirred. It had been thus ever
since his talk with Mother and Father. And so he came to make a second
discovery: His parents did not really believe in his Figure. She kept away on
that account. They doubted her; she hid. Here was still another incentive to go
and find her out. He ached for her, she was so kind, she gave herself so much
trouble--just for his little self in the big and lonely bedroom. Yet his
parents spoke of her as though she were of no account. He longed to see her,
face to face, and tell her that he believed in her and loved her. For he was
positive she would like to hear it. She cared. Though he had fallen asleep of
late too quickly for him to see her flash in at the door, he had known nicer dreams
than ever in his life before-travelling dreams. And it was she who sent them.
More--he was sure she took him out with her.
One evening, in the dusk of a March day, his
opportunity came; and only just in time, for his brother Jack was expected home
from school on the morrow, and with Jack in the other bed, no Figure would ever
care to show itself. Also it was Easter, and after Easter, though Tim was not
aware of it at the time, he was to say good-bye finally to governesses and
become a day-boarder at a preparatory school for Wellington. The opportunity
offered itself so naturally, moreover, that Tim took it without hesitation. It
never occurred to him to question, much less to refuse it. The thing was
obviously meant to be. For he found himself unexpectedly in front of a green
baize door; and the green baize door was--swinging! Somebody, therefore, had
just passed through it.
It had come about in this wise. Father, away in
Scotland, at Inglemuir, the shooting place, was expected back next morning;
Mother had driven over to the church upon some Easter business or other; and
the governess had been allowed her holiday at home in France. Tim, therefore,
had the run of the house, and in the hour between tea and bed-time he made good
use of it. Fully able to defy such second-rate obstacles as nurses and butlers,
he explored all manner of forbidden places with ardent thoroughness, arriving
finally in the sacred precincts of his father's study. This wonderful room was
the very heart and centre of the whole big house; he had been birched here long
ago; here, too, his father had told him with a grave yet smiling face:
"You've got a new companion, Tim, a little
sister; you must be very kind to her." Also, it was the place where all
the money was kept. What he called "father's jolly smell" was strong
in it--papers, tobacco, books, flavoured by hunting crops and gunpowder.
At first he felt awed, standing motionless just
inside the door; but presently, recovering equilibrium, he moved cautiously on
tiptoe towards the gigantic desk where important papers were piled in untidy
patches. These he did not touch; but beside them his quick eye noted the jagged
piece of iron shell his father brought home from his Crimean campaign and now
used as a letter-weight. It was difficult to lift, however. He climbed into the
comfortable chair and swung round and round. It was a swivel-chair, and he sank
down among the cushions in it, staring at the strange things on the great desk
before him, as if fascinated. Next he turned away and saw the stick-rack in the
corner--this, he knew, he was allowed to touch. He had played with these sticks
before. There were twenty, perhaps, all told, with curious carved handles,
brought from every corner of the world; many of them cut by his father's own
hand in queer and distant places. And, among them, Tim fixed his eye upon a
cane with an ivory handle, a slender, polished cane that he had always coveted
tremendously. It was the kind he meant to use when he was a man. It bent, it
quivered, and when he swished it through the air it trembled like a
riding-whip, and made a whistling noise. Yet it was very strong in spite of its
elastic qualities. A family treasure, it was also an old-fashioned relic; it
had been his grandfather's walking stick. Something of another century clung
visibly about it still. It had dignity and grace and leisure in its very
aspect. And it suddenly occurred to him: "How grandpapa must miss it!
Wouldn't he just love to have it back again!"
How it happened exactly, Tim did not know, but a
few minutes later he found himself walking about the deserted halls and
passages of the house with the air of an elderly gentleman of a hundred years
ago, proud as a courtier, flourishing the stick like an Eighteenth Century
dandy in the Mall. That the cane reached to his shoulder made no difference; he
held it accordingly, swaggering on his way. He was off upon an adventure. He
dived down through the byways of the Other Wing, inside himself, as though the
stick transported him to the days of the old gentleman who had used it in
another century.
It may seem strange to those who dwell in
smaller houses, but in this rambling Elizabethan mansion there were whole
sections that, even to Tim, were strange and unfamiliar. In his mind the map of
the Other Wing was clearer by far than the geography of the part he travelled
daily.
He came to passages and dim-lit halls, long
corridors of stone beyond the Picture Gallery; narrow, wainscoted
connecting-channels with four steps down and a little later two steps up;
deserted chambers with arches guarding them--all hung with the soft March
twilight and all bewilderingly unrecognised. With a sense of adventure born of
naughtiness he went carelessly along, farther and farther into the heart of
this unfamiliar country, swinging the cane, one thumb stuck into the arm-pit of
his blue serge suit, whistling softly to himself excited yet keenly on the
alert--and suddenly found himself opposite a door that checked all further
advance. It was a green baize door. And it was swinging.
He stopped abruptly, facing it. He stared, he
gripped his cane more tightly, he held his breath.
"The Other Wing!" he gasped in a
swallowed whisper. It was an entrance, but an entrance he had never seen
before. He thought he knew every door by heart; but this one was new. He stood
motionless for several minutes, watching it; the door had two halves, but one
half only was swinging, each swing shorter than the one before; he heard the
little puffs of air it made; it settled finally, the last movements very short
and rapid; it stopped. And the boy's heart, after similar rapid strokes,
stopped also--for a moment.
"Some one's just gone through," he
gulped. And even as he said it he knew who the some one was. The conviction
just dropped into him. "It's Grandfather; he knows I've got his stick. He
wants it!" On the heels of this flashed instantly another amazing
certainty. "He sleeps in there. He's having dreams. That's what being dead
means."
His first impulse, then, took the form of,
"I must let Father know; it'll make him burst for joy"; but his
second was for himself--to finish his adventure. And it was this, naturally
enough, that gained the day. He could tell his father later. His first duty was
plainly to go through the door into the Other Wing. He must give the stick back
to its owner. He must hand it back.
The test of will and character came now. Tim had
imagination, and so knew the meaning of fear; but there was nothing craven in
him. He could howl and scream and stamp like any other person of his age when
the occasion called for such behaviour, but such occasions were due to temper
roused by a thwarted will, and the histrionics were half "pretended"
to produce a calculated effect. There was no one to thwart his will at present.
He also knew how to be afraid of Nothing, to be afraid without ostensible
cause, that is--which was merely "nerves." He could have "the
shudders" with the best of them.
But, when a real thing faced him, Tim's
character emerged to meet it. He would clench his hands, brace his muscles, set
his teeth--and wish to heaven he was bigger. But he would not flinch. Being
imaginative, he lived the worst a dozen times before it happened, yet in the
final crash he stood up like a man. He had that highest pluck--the courage of a
sensitive temperament.
And at this particular juncture, somewhat
ticklish for a boy of eight or nine, it did not fail him.
He lifted the cane and pushed the swinging door
wide open. Then he walked through it--into the Other Wing.
The green baize door swung to behind him; he was
even sufficiently master of himself to turn and close it with a steady hand,
because he did not care to hear the series of muffled thuds its lessening
swings would cause. But he realised clearly his position, knew he was doing a
tremendous thing.
Holding the cane between fingers very tightly
clenched, he advanced bravely along the corridor that stretched before him. And
all fear left him from that moment, replaced, it seemed, by a mild and exquisite
surprise. His footsteps made no sound, he walked on air; instead of darkness,
or the twilight he expected, a diffused and gentle light that seemed like the
silver on the lawn when a half-moon sails a cloudless sky, lay everywhere. He
knew his way, moreover, knew exactly where he was and whither he was going. The
corridor was as familiar to him as the floor of his own bedroom; he recognised
the shape and length of it; it agreed exactly with the map he had constructed
long ago. Though he had never, to the best of his knowledge, entered it before,
he knew with intimacy its every detail.
And thus the surprise he felt was mild and far
from disconcerting. "I'm here again!" was the kind of thought he had.
It was how he got here that caused the faint surprise, apparently. He no longer
swaggered, however, but walked carefully, and half on tiptoe, holding the ivory
handle of the cane with a kind of affectionate respect. And as he advanced, the
light closed softly up behind him, obliterating the way by which he had come.
But this he did not know, because he did not look behind him. He only looked in
front, where the corridor stretched its silvery length towards the great
chamber where he knew the cane must be surrendered. The person who had preceded
him down this ancient corridor, passing through the green baize door just
before he reached it, this person, his father's father, now stood in that great
chamber, waiting to receive his own. Tim knew it as surely as he knew he
breathed. At the far end he even made out the larger patch of silvery light
which marked its gaping doorway.
There was another thing he knew as well--that
this corridor he moved along between rooms with fast-closed doors, was the
Nightmare Corridor; often and often he had traversed it; each room was
occupied. "This is the Nightmare Passage," he whispered to himself,
"but I know the Ruler--it doesn't matter. None of them can get out or do
anything." He heard them, none the less, inside, as he passed by; he heard
them scratching to get out. The feeling of security made him reckless; he took
unnecessary risks; he brushed the panels as he passed. And the love of keen
sensation for its own sake, the desire to feel "an awful thrill,"
tempted him once so sharply that he raised his stick and poked a fast-shut door
with it! He was not prepared for the result, but he gained the sensation and
the thrill. For the door opened with instant swiftness half an inch, a hand
emerged, caught the stick and tried to draw it in. Tim sprang back as if he had
been struck. He pulled at the ivory handle with all his strength, but his
strength was less than nothing. He tried to shout, but his voice had gone. A
terror of the moon came over him, for he was unable to loosen his hold of the
handle; his fingers had become a part of it. An appalling weakness turned him
helpless. He was dragged inch by inch towards the fearful door. The end of the
stick was already through the narrow crack. He could not see the hand that
pulled, but he knew it was terrific. He understood now why the world was
strange, why horses galloped furiously, and why trains whistled as they raced
through stations. All the comedy and terror of nightmare gripped his heart with
pincers made of ice. The disproportion was abominable. The final collapse
rushed over him when, without a sign of warning, the door slammed silently, and
between the jamb and the wall the cane was crushed as flat as if it were a
bulrush. So irresistible was the force behind the door that the solid stick
just went flat as a stalk of a bulrush.
He looked at it. It was a bulrush.
He did not laugh; the absurdity was so
distressingly unnatural. The horror of finding a bulrush where he had expected
a polished cane--this hideous and appalling detail held the nameless horror of
the nightmare. It betrayed him utterly. Why had he not always known really that
the stick was not a stick, but a thin and hollow reed...?
Then the cane was safely in his hand, unbroken.
He stood looking at it. The Nightmare was in full swing. He heard another door
opening behind his back, a door he had not touched. There was just time to see
a hand thrusting and waving dreadfully, familiarly, at him through the narrow
crack--just time to realise that this was another Nightmare acting in atrocious
concert with the first, when he saw closely beside him, towering to the
ceiling, the protective, kindly Figure that visited his bedroom. In the turning
movement he made to meet the attack, he became aware of her. And his terror
passed. It was a nightmare terror merely. The infinite horror vanished. Only
the comedy remained. He smiled.
He saw her dimly only, she was so vast, but he
saw her, the Ruler of the Other Wing at last, and knew that he was safe again.
He gazed with a tremendous love and wonder, trying to see her clearly; but the
face was hidden far aloft and seemed to melt into the sky beyond the roof. He
discerned that she was larger than the Night, only far, far softer, with wings
that folded above him more tenderly even than his mother's arms; that there
were points of light like stars among the feathers, and that she was vast
enough to cover millions and millions of people all at once.
Moreover, she did not fade or go, so far as he
could see, but spread herself in such a way that he lost sight of her. She
spread over the entire Wing...
And Tim remembered that this was all quite
natural really. He had often and often been down this corridor before; the
Nightmare Corridor was no new experience; it had to be faced as usual.
Once knowing what hid inside the rooms, he was
bound to tempt them out. They drew, enticed, attracted him; this was their
power. It was their special strength that they could suck him helplessly
towards them, and that he was obliged to go.
He understood exactly why he was tempted to tap
with the cane upon their awful doors, but, having done so, he had accepted the
challenge and could now continue his journey quietly and safely. The Ruler of
the Other Wing had taken him in charge.
A delicious sense of carelessness came on him.
There was softness as of water in the solid things about him, nothing that
could hurt or bruise. Holding the cane firmly by its ivory handle, he went
forward along the corridor, walking as on air.
The end was quickly reached: he stood upon the
threshold of the mighty chamber where he knew the owner of the cane was
waiting; the long corridor lay behind him, in front he saw the spacious
dimensions of a lofty hall that gave him the feeling of being in the Crystal
Palace, Euston Station, or St. Paul's. High, narrow windows, cut deeply into
the wall, stood in a row upon the other side; an enormous open fireplace of
burning logs was on his right; thick tapestries hung from the ceiling to the
floor of stone; and in the centre of the chamber was a massive table of dark,
shining wood, great chairs with carved stiff backs set here and there beside
it. And in the biggest of these throne-like chairs there sat a figure looking
at him gravely--the figure of an old, old man.
Yet there was no surprise in the boy's
fast-beating heart; there was a thrill of pleasure and excitement only, a
feeling of satisfaction. He had known quite well the figure would be there,
known also it would look like this exactly. He stepped forward on to the floor
of stone without a trace of fear or trembling, holding the precious cane in two
hands now before him, as though to present it to its owner. He felt proud and
pleased. He had run risks for this.
And the figure rose quietly to meet him,
advancing in a stately manner over the hard stone floor. The eyes looked
gravely, sweetly down at him, the aquiline nose stood out. Tim knew him
perfectly: the knee-breeches of shining satin, the gleaming buckles on the
shoes, the neat dark stockings, the lace and ruffles about neck and wrists, the
coloured waistcoat opening so widely--all the details of the picture over
father's mantelpiece, where it hung between two Crimean bayonets, were
reproduced in life before his eyes at last. Only the polished cane with the
ivory handle was not there.
Tim went three steps nearer to the advancing
figure and held out both his hands with the cane laid crosswise on them.
"I've brought it, Grandfather," he
said, in a faint but clear and steady tone; "here it is."
And the other stooped a little, put out three
fingers half concealed by falling lace, and took it by the ivory handle. He
made a courtly bow to Tim. He smiled, but though there was pleasure, it was a
grave, sad smile. He spoke then: the voice was slow and very deep. There was a
delicate softness in it, the suave politeness of an older day.
"Thank you," he said; "I value
it. It was given to me by my grandfather. I forgot it when I--"
His voice grew indistinct a little.
"Yes?" said Tim.
"When I--left," the old gentleman
repeated.
"Oh," said Tim, thinking how beautiful
and kind the gracious figure was.
The old man ran his slender fingers carefully
along the cane, feeling the polished surface with satisfaction. He lingered
specially over the smoothness of the ivory handle. He was evidently very
pleased.
"I was not quite myself--er--at the
moment," he went on gently; "my memory failed me somewhat." He
sighed, as though an immense relief was in him.
"I forget things, too--sometimes," Tim
mentioned sympathetically. He simply loved his grandfather. He hoped--for a
moment--he would he lifted up and kissed. "I'm awfully glad I brought
it," he faltered--"that you've got it again."
The other turned his kind grey eyes upon him;
the smile on his face was full of gratitude as he looked down.
"Thank you, my boy. I am truly and deeply
indebted to you. You courted danger for my sake. Others have tried before, but
the Nightmare Passage--er--" He broke off. He tapped the stick firmly on
the stone flooring, as though to test it. Bending a trifle, he put his weight
upon it.
"Ah!" he exclaimed with a short sigh
of relief, "I can now--"
His voice again grew indistinct; Tim did not
catch the words.
"Yes?" he asked again, aware for the
first time that a touch of awe was in his heart.
"--get about again," the other
continued very low. "Without my cane," he added, the voice failing
with each word the old lips uttered, "I could not...possibly...allow
myself...to be seen. It was indeed...deplorable...unpardonable of me...to
forget in such a way. Zounds, sir...! I--I..."
His voice sank away suddenly into a sound of
wind. He straightened up, tapping the iron ferrule of his cane on the stones in
a series of loud knocks. Tim felt a strange sensation creep into his legs. The
queer words frightened him a little.
The old man took a step towards him. He still
smiled, but there was a new meaning in the smile. A sudden earnestness had
replaced the courtly, leisurely manner. The next words seemed to blow down upon
the boy from above, as though a cold wind brought them from the sky outside.
Yet the words, he knew, were kindly meant, and
very sensible. It was only the abrupt change that startled him. Grandfather,
after all, was but a man! The distant sound recalled something in him to that
outside world from which the cold wind blew.
"My eternal thanks to you," he heard,
while the voice and face and figure seemed to withdrew deeper and deeper into
the heart of the mighty chamber. "I shall not forget your kindness and
your courage. It is a debt I can, fortunately, one day repay...But now you had
best return and with dispatch. For your head and arm lie heavily on the table,
the documents are scattered, there is a cushion fallen...and my son is in the
house...Farewell! You had best leave me quickly. See! She stands behind you,
waiting. Go with her! Go now...!"
The entire scene had vanished even before the
final words were uttered. Tim felt empty space about him. A vast, shadowy
Figure bore him through it as with mighty wings. He flew, he rushed, he
remembered nothing more--until he heard another voice and felt a heavy hand
upon his shoulder.
"Tim, you rascal! What are you doing in my
study? And in the dark, like this!"
He looked up into his father's face without a
word. He felt dazed. The next minute his father had caught him up and kissed
him.
"Ragamuffin! How did you guess I was coming
back to-night?" He shook him playfully and kissed his tumbling hair.
"And you've been asleep, too, into the bargain. Well--how's everything at
home--eh? Jack's coming back from school to-morrow, you know, and..."
Jack came home, indeed, the following day, and
when the Easter holidays were over, the governess stayed abroad and Tim went
off to adventures of another kind in the preparatory school for Wellington.
Life slipped rapidly along with him; he grew into a man; his mother and his
father died; Jack followed them within a little space; Tim inherited, married,
settled down into his great possessions--and opened up the Other Wing. The
dreams of imaginative boyhood all had faded; perhaps he had merely put them
away, or perhaps he had forgotten them. At any rate, he never spoke of such
things now, and when his Irish wife mentioned her belief that the old country
house possessed a family ghost, even declaring that she had met an Eighteenth
Century figure of a man in the corridors, "an old, old man who bends down
upon a stick"--Tim only laughed and said: "That's as it ought to be!
And if these awful land-taxes force us to sell some day, a respectable ghost
will increase the market value."
But one night he woke and heard a tapping on the
floor. He sat up in bed and listened. There was a chilly feeling down his back.
Belief had long since gone out of him; he felt uncannily afraid. The sound came
nearer and nearer; there were light footsteps with it. The door opened--it
opened a little wider, that is, for it already stood ajar--and there upon the
threshold stood a figure that it seemed he knew. He saw the face as with all
the vivid sharpness of reality. There was a smile upon it, but a smile of
warning and alarm. The arm was raised. Tim saw the slender hand, lace falling
down upon the long, thin fingers, and in them, tightly gripped, a polished
cane.
Shaking the cane twice to and fro in the air,
the face thrust forward, spoke certain words, and--vanished. But the words were
inaudible; for, though the lips distinctly moved, no sound, apparently, came
from them.
And Tim sprang out of bed. The room was full of
darkness. He turned the light on. The door, he saw, was shut as usual. He had,
of course, been dreaming. But he noticed a curious odour in the air. He sniffed
it once or twice--then grasped the truth. It was a smell of burning!
Fortunately, he awoke just in time...
He was acclaimed a hero for his promptitude.
After many days, when the damage was repaired, and nerves had settled down once
more into the calm routine of country life, he told the story to his wife--the
entire story. He told the adventure of his imaginative boyhood with it. She
asked to see the old family cane. And it was this request of hers that brought
back to memory a detail Tim had entirely forgotten all these years. He
remembered it suddenly again--the loss of the cane, the hubbub his father
kicked up about it, the endless, futile search. For the stick had never been
found, and Tim, who was questioned very closely concerning it, swore with all
his might that he had not the smallest notion where it was. Which was, of
course, the truth.
The man who enjoys an adventure outside the
general experience of the race, and imparts it to others, must not be surprised
if he is taken for either a liar or a fool, as Malcolm Hyde, hotel clerk on a
holiday, discovered in due course. Nor is 'enjoy' the word to use in describing
his emotions; the word he chose was probably 'survive.'
When he first set eves on Medicine Lake he was
struck by its still, sparkling beauty, lying there in the vast Canadian
backwoods; next, by its extreme loneliness; and, lastly--a good deal later,
this--by its combination of beauty, loneliness, and singular atmosphere, due to
the fact that it was the scene of adventure.
'It's fairly stiff with big fish,' said Morton
of the Montreal Sporting Club. 'Spend your holidays there up Mattawa way, some
fifteen miles west of Stony Creek. You'll have it all yourself except for an
old Indian who's got a shack there. Camp on the east side--if you'll take a tip
from me.' He then talked for half an hour about the wonderful sport; yet he was
not otherwise very communicative, and did nut suffer questions gladly, Hyde
noticed. Nor had he stayed there very long himself. If it was such a paradise
as Morton, its discoverer and the most experienced rod in the province,
claimed, why had he himself spent only three days there?
'Ran short of grub,' was the explanation
offered; but to another friend he had mentioned briefly, 'flies' and to a
third, so Hyde learned later, he gave the excuse that his half-breed 'took
sick,' necessitating a quick return to civilisation.
Hyde, however, cared little for the
explanations; his interest in these came later. 'Stiff with fish' was the
phrase he liked. He took the Canadian Pacific train to Mattawa, laid in his
outfit at Stony Creek, and set off thence for the fifteen-mile canoe-trip
without a care in the world.
Travelling light, the portages did not trouble
him; the water was swift and easy, the rapids negotiable; everything came his
way, as the saying is. Occasionally he saw big fish making for the deeper
pools, and was sorely tempted to stop; but he resisted. He pushed on between
the immense world of forests that stretched for hundreds of miles, known to
deer, bear, moose, and wolf, but strange to any echo of human tread, a deserted
and primeval wilderness. The autumn day was calm, the water sang and sparkled,
the blue sky hung cloudless over all, ablaze with Light. Toward evening he
passed an old beaver-dam, rounded a little point, and had his first sight of
Medicine Lake. He lifted his dripping paddle; the canoe shot with silent glide
into calm water.
He gave an exclamation of delight, for the
loveliness caught his breath away.
Though primarily a sportsman, he was not
insensible to beauty. The lake formed a crescent, perhaps four miles long, its
width between a mile and half a mile. The slanting gold of sunset flooded it.
No wind stirred its crystal surface. Here it had lain since the redskins' god
first made it; here it would lie until he dried it up again. Towering spruce
and hemlock trooped to its very edge, majestic cedars leaned down as if to
drink, crimson sumachs shone in fiery patches, and maples gleamed orange and
red beyond belief. The air was like wine, with the silence of a dream.
It was here the red men formerly 'made
medicine,' with all the wild ritual and tribal ceremony of an ancient day. But
it was of Morton, rather than of Indians, that Hyde thought. If this lonely,
hidden paradise was really stiff with big fish, he owed a lot to Morton for the
information. Peace invaded him, but the excitement of the hunter lay below.
He looked about him with quick, practised eye
for a camping-place before the sun sank below the forests and the half-lights
came. The Indian's shack, lying in full sunshine on the eastern shore, he found
at once; but the trees lay too thick about it for comfort, nor did he wish to
be so close to its inhabitant. Upon the opposite side, however, an ideal
clearing offered. This lay already in shadow, the huge forest darkening it toward
evening; but the open space attracted. He paddled over and quickly examined it.
The ground was hard and dry, he found, and a little brook ran tinkling down one
side of it into the lake. This outfall, too, would be a good fishing spot.
Also it was sheltered. A few low willows marked
the mouth.
An experienced camper soon makes up his mind. It
was a perfect site, and some charred logs, with traces of former fires, proved
that he was not the first to think so. Hyde was delighted.
Then, suddenly, disappointment came to tinge his
pleasure. His kit was landed, and preparations for putting up the tent were
begun, when he recalled a detail that excitement had so far kept in the
background of his mind--Morton's advice. But not Morton's only, for the
storekeeper at Stony Creek reinforced it. The big fellow with straggling
moustache and stooping shoulders, dressed in shirt and trousers, had handed him
out a final sentence with the bacon, flour, condensed milk, and sugar. He had
repeated Morton's half-forgotten words:
'Put yer tent on the east shore, I should,' he
had said at parting.
He remembered Morton, too, apparently. 'A
shortish fellow, brown as an Indian and fairly smelling of the woods.
Travelling with Jake, the half-breed.' That assuredly was Morton. 'Didn't stay
long, now, did he,' he added to himself in a reflective tone.
'Going Windy Lake way, are yer? Or Ten Mile
Water maybe?' he had first inquired of Hyde.
'Medicine Lake.'
'Is that so?' the man said, as though he doubted
it for some obscure reason. He pulled at his ragged moustache a moment. 'Is
that so, now?' he repeated. And the final words followed him down-stream after
a considerable pause--the advice about the best shore on which to put his tent
All this now suddenly flashed back upon Hyde's mind with a tinge of
disappointment and annoyance, for when two experienced men agreed, their
opinion was nor to be lightly disregarded. He wished he had asked the
storekeeper for more details. He looked about him, he reflected, he hesitated.
His ideal camping-ground lay certainly on the forbidden shore. What in the
world, he wondered, could be the objection to it?
But the light was fading; he must decide quickly
one way or the other. After staring at his unpacked dunnage, and the tent,
already half erected, he made up his mind with a muttered expression that
consigned both Morton and the storekeeper to less pleasant places. 'They must
have some reason,' he growled to himself; 'fellows like that usually know what
they're talking about. I guess I'd better shift over to the other side--for
to-night at any rate.'
He glanced across the water before actually
reloading. No smoke rose from the Indian's shack.
He had seen no sign of a canoe. The man, he
decided, was away. Reluctantly, then, he left the good camping-ground and
paddled across the lake, and half an hour later his tent was up, firewood
collected, and two small trout were already caught for supper. But the bigger
fish, he knew, lay waiting for him on the other side by the little out-fall,
and he fell asleep at length on his bed of balsam boughs, annoyed and
disappointed, yet wondering how a mere sentence could have persuaded him so
easily against his own better judgment. He slept like the dead; the sun was
well up before he stirred.
But his morning mood was a very different one.
The brilliant light, the peace, the intoxicating air, all this was too
exhilarating for the mind to harbour foolish fancies, and he marvelled that he
could have been so weak the night before. No hesitation lay in him anywhere. He
struck camp immediately after breakfast, paddled back across the strip of
shining water, and quickly settled in upon the forbidden shore, as he now
called it, with a contemptuous grin. And the more he saw of the spot, the
better he liked it. There was plenty of wood, running water to drink, an open
space about the tent, and there were no flies. The fishing, moreover, was
magnificent. Morton's description was fully justified, and 'stiff with big
fish' for once was not an exaggeration.
The useless hours of the early afternoon he
passed dozing in the sun, or wandering through the underbrush beyond the camp.
He found no sign of anything unusual. He bathed in a cool deep pool; he
revelled in the lonely little paradise. Lonely it certainly was, but the
loneliness was part of its charm; the stillness, the peace, the isolation of
this beautiful backwoods lake delighted him.
The silence was divine. He was entirely
satisfied.
After a brew of tea, he strolled toward evening
along the shore, looking for the first sign of a rising fish. A faint ripple on
the water, with the lengthening shadows, made good conditions.
Plop followed plop, as the big fellows rose,
snatched at their food, and vanished into the depths.
He hurried back. Ten minute later he had taken
his rods and was gliding cautiously in the canoe through the quiet water.
So good was the sport, indeed, and so quickly
did the big trout pile up in the bottom of the canoe, that despite the growing
lateness, he found it hard to tear himself away. 'One more,' he said, 'and then
I really will go.' He landed that 'one more,' and was in the act of taking off
the hook, when the deep silence of the evening was curiously disturbed. He
became abruptly aware that some one watched him. A pair of eyes, it seemed,
were fixed upon him from some point in the surrounding shadows.
Thus, at least, he interpreted the odd
disturbance in his happy mood; for thus he felt it. The feeling stole over him
without the slightest warning. He was not alone. The slippery big trout dropped
from his fingers. He sat motionless, and stared about him.
Nothing stirred; the ripple on the lake had died
away; there was no wind; the forest lay a single purple mass of shadow; the
yellow sky, fast fading, threw reflections that troubled the eye and made
distances uncertain. But there was no sound, no movement; he saw no figure
anywhere.
Yet he knew that some one watched him, and a
wave of quite unreasoning terror gripped him.
The nose of the canoe was against the bank. In a
moment, and instinctively, he shoved it off and paddled into deeper water. The
watcher, it came to him also instinctively, was quite close to him upon that
bank. But where? And who? Was it the Indian?
Here, in deeper water, and some twenty yards
from the shore, he paused and strained both sight and hearing to find some
possible clue. He felt half ashamed, now that the first strange feeling passed
a little. But the certainty remained. Absurd as it was, he felt positive that
some one watched him with concentrated and intent regard. Every fibre in his
being told him so; and though he could discover no figure, no new outline on
the shore, he could even have sworn in which clump of willow bushes the hidden
person crouched and stared. His attention seemed drawn to that particular
clump.
The water dripped slowly from his paddle, now
lying across the thwarts. There was no other sound. The canvas of his tent
gleamed dimly. A star or two were out. He waited. Nothing happened.
Then, as suddenly as it had come, the feeling
passed, and he knew that the person who had been watching him intently had
gone. It was as if a current had been turned off; the normal world flowed back;
the landscape emptied as if some one had left a room. The disagreeable feeling
left him at the same time, so that he instantly turned the canoe in to the
shore again, landed, and, paddle in hand, went over to examine the clump of
willows he had singled out as the place of concealment. There was no one there,
of course, nor any trace of recent human occupancy. No leaves, no branches
stirred, nor was a single twig displaced; his keen and practised sight detected
no sign of tracks upon the ground. Yet, for all that, he felt positive that a
little time ago some one had crouched among these very leaves and watched him.
He remained absolutely convinced of it.
The watcher, whether Indian hunter, stray
lumberman, or wandering half-breed, had now withdrawn, a search was useless,
and dusk was falling. He returned to his little camp, more disturbed perhaps
than he cared to acknowledge. He cooked his supper, hung up his catch on a
string, so that no prowling animal could get at it during the night, and
prepared to make himself comfortable until bedtime. Unconsciously, he built a
bigger fire than usual and found himself peering over his pipe into the deep
shadows beyond the firelight, straining his ears to catch the slightest sound.
He remained generally on the alert in a way that was new to him.
A man under such conditions and in such a place
need not know discomfort until the sense of loneliness strikes him as too vivid
a reality. Loneliness in a backwoods camp brings charm, pleasure, and a happy
sense of calm until, and unless, it comes too near. It should remain an
ingredient only among other conditions; it should not be directly, vividly
noticed. Once it has crept within short range, however, it may easily cross the
narrow line between comfort and discomfort, and darkness is an undesirable time
for the transition. A curious dread may easily follow--the dread lest the
loneliness suddenly be disturbed, and the solitary human feel himself open to
attack.
For Hyde, now, this transition had been already
accomplished; the too intimate sense of his loneliness had shifted abruptly
into the worst condition of no longer being quite alone. It was an awkward
moment, and the hotel clerk realised his position exactly. He did not quite
like it. He sat there, with his back to the blazing logs, a very visible object
in the light, while all about him the darkness of the forest lay like an
impenetrable wall. He could not see a yard beyond the small circle of his
camp-fire; the silence about him was like the silence of the dead. No leaf
rustled, no wave lapped; he himself sat motionless as a log.
Then again he became suddenly aware that the
person who watched him had returned, and that same intent and concentrated gaze
as before was fixed upon him where he lay. There was no warning; he heard no
stealthy tread or snapping of dry twigs, yet the owner of those steady eyes was
very close to him, probably not a dozen feet away. This sense of proximity was
overwhelming.
It is unquestionable that a shiver ran down his
spine. This time, moreover, he felt positive that the man crouched just beyond
the firelight, the distance he himself could see being nicely calculated, and
straight in front of him. For some minutes he sat without stirring a single
muscle, yet with each muscle ready and alert, straining his eyes in vain to
pierce the darkness, but only succeeding in dazzling his sight with the
reflected light. Then, as he shifted his position slowly, cautiously, to obtain
another angle of vision, his heart gave two big thumps against his ribs and the
hair seemed to rise on his scalp with the sense of cold that gave him
goose-flesh. In the darkness facing him he saw two small and greenish circles
that were certainly a pair of eyes, yet not the eyes of Indian hunter, or of
any human being. It was a pair of animal eyes that stared so fixedly at him out
of the night. And this certainty had an immediate and natural effect upon him.
For, at the menace of those eyes, the fears of
millions of long dead hunters since the dawn of time woke in him. Hotel clerk
though he was, heredity surged through him in an automatic wave of instinct.
His hand groped for a weapon. His fingers fell on the iron head of his small camp
axe, and at once he was himself again. Confidence returned; the vague,
superstitious dread was gone. This was a bear or wolf that smelt his catch and
came to steal it. With beings of that sort, he knew instinctively how to deal,
yet admitting, by this very instinct, that his original dread had been of quite
another kind.
'I'll damned quick find out what it is,' he
exclaimed aloud, and snatching a burning brand from the fire, he hurled it with
good aim straight at the eyes of the beast before him.
The bit of pitch-pine fell in a shower of sparks
that lit the dry grass this side of the animal, flared up a moment, then died
quickly down again. But in that instant of bright illumination he saw clearly
what his unwelcome visitor was. A big timber wolf sat on its hindquarters,
staring steadily at him through the firelight. He saw its legs and shoulders,
he saw its hair, he saw also the big hemlock trunks lit up behind it, and the
willow scrub on each side. It formed a vivid, clear-cut picture shown in clear
detail by the momentary blaze. To his amazement, however, the wolf did not turn
and bolt away from the burning log, but withdrew a few yards only, and sat
there again on its haunches, staring, staring as before. Heavens, how it
stared! He 'shoo-ed' it, but without effect; it did not budge. He did not waste
another good log on it, for his fear was dissipated now; a timber wolf was a
timber wolf, and it might sit there as long as it pleased, provided it did not
try to steal his catch. No alarm was in him any more. He knew that wolves were
harmless in the summer and autumn, and even when 'packed' in the winter they
would attack a man only when suffering desperate hunger. So he lay and watched
the beast, threw bits of stick in its direction, even talked to it, wondering
only that it never moved. 'You can stay there for ever, if you like,' he
remarked to it aloud, 'for you cannot get at my fish, and the rest of the grub
I shall take into the tent with me!'
The creature blinked its bright green eyes, but
made no move. Why, then, if his fear was gone, did he think of certain things
as he rolled himself in the Hudson Bay blankets before going sleep? The
immobility of the animal was strange, its refusal to turn and bolt was still
stranger.
Never before had he know, a wild creature that
was not afraid of fire. Why did it sit and watch him, as with purpose in its
gleaming eyes? How had he felt its presence earlier and instantly? A timber
wolf, especially a solitary wolf, was a timid thing, yet this one feared
neither man nor fire.
Now, as he lay there wrapped in his blankets
inside the cosy tent, it sat outside beneath the stars, beside the fading
embers, the wind chilly in its fur, the ground cooling beneath its planted
paws, watching him, steadily watching him, perhaps until the dawn.
It was unusual, it was strange. Having neither
imagination nor tradition, he called upon no store of racial visions. Matter of
fact, a hotel clerk on a fishing holiday, he lay there in blankets, merely
wondering and puzzled. A timber wolf was a timber wolf and nothing more. Yet
this timber wolf--the idea haunted him--was different. In a word, the deeper
part his original uneasiness remained. He tossed about, he shivered sometimes
in his broken sleep; he did not go out to see, but he woke early and
unrefreshed.
Again with the sunshine and the morning wind,
however, the incident of the night before was forgotten, almost unreal. His
hunting zeal was uppermost. The tea and fish were delicious, his pipe had never
tasted so good, the glory of this lonely lake amid primeval forests went to his
head a little; he was a hunter before the Lord, and nothing else. He tried the
edge of the lake, and in the excitement of playing a big fish, knew suddenly
that it, the wolf, was there. He paused with the rod, exactly as if struck. He
looked about him, he looked in a definite direction. The brilliant sunshine
made every smallest detail clear and sharp--boulders of granite, burned stems,
crimson sumach, pebbles along the shore in neat, separate detail--without revealing
where the watcher hid. Then, his sight wandering farther inshore among the
tangled undergrowth, he suddenly picked up the familiar, half-expected outline.
The wolf was lying behind a granite boulder, so that only the head, the muzzle,
and the eyes were visible. It merged in its background. Had he not known it was
a wolf, he could never have separated it from the landscape. The eyes shone in
the sunlight.
There it lay. He looked straight at it. Their
eyes, in fact, actually met full and square. 'Great Scott!' he exclaimed aloud,
'why, it's like looking at a human being!'
From that moment, unwittingly, he established a
singular personal relation with the beast. And what followed confirmed this
undesirable impression, for the animal rose instantly and came down in
leisurely fashion to the shore, where it stood looking back at him. It stood
and stared into his eyes like some great wild dog, so that he was aware of a
new and almost incredible sensation--that it courted recognition.
'Well! Well!' he exclaimed again, relieving his
feelings by addressing it aloud, 'if this doesn't beat everything I ever saw!
What d'you want, anyway?'
He examined it now more carefully. He had never
seen a wolf so big before; it was a tremendous beast, a nasty customer to
tackle, he reflected, if it ever came to that. It stood there absolutely
fearless, and full of confidence. In the clear sunlight he took in every detail
of it--a huge, shaggy, lean-flanked timber wolf, its wicked eyes staring
straight into his own, almost with a kind of purpose in them. He saw its great
jaws, its teeth, and its tongue hung out, dropping saliva a little. And yet the
idea of its savagery, its fierceness, was very little in him.
He was amazed and puzzled beyond belief. He
wished the Indian would come back. He did not understand this strange behaviour
in an animal. Its eyes, the odd expression in them, gave him a queer, unusual,
difficult feeling. Had his nerves gone wrong, he almost wondered.
The beast stood on the shore and looked at him.
He wished for the first time that he had brought a rifle. With a resounding
smack he brought his paddle down flat upon the water, using all his strength,
till the echoes rang as from a pistol-shot that was audible from one end of the
lake to the other. The wolf never stirred. He shouted, but the beast remained
unmoved. He blinked his eyes, speaking as to a dog, a domestic animal, a
creature accustomed to human ways.
It blinked its eyes in return.
At length, increasing his distance from the
shore, he continued fishing, and the excitement of the marvellous sport held
his attention--his surface attention, at any rate. At times he almost forgot
the attendant beast; yet whenever he looked up, he saw it there. And worse;
when he slowly paddled home again, he observed it trotting along the shore as
though to keep him company.
Crossing a little bay, he spurted, hoping to
reach the other point before his undesired and undesirable attendant. Instantly
the brute broke into that rapid, tireless lope that, except on ice, can run
down anything on four legs in the woods. When he reached the distant point, the
wolf was waiting for him. He raised his paddle from the water, pausing a moment
for reflection; for his very close attention--there were dusk and night yet to
come--he certainly did not relish. His camp was near; he had to land; he felt
uncomfortable even in the sunshine of broad day, when, to his keen relief,
about half a mile from the tent, he saw the creature suddenly stop and sit down
in the open. He waited a moment, then paddled on. It did not follow. There was
no attempt to move; it merely sat and watched him. After a few hundred yards,
he looked back. It was still sitting where he left it. And the absurd, yet
significant, feeling came to him that the beast divined his thought, his
anxiety, his dread, and was now showing him, as well as it could, that it
entertained no hostile feeling and did not meditate attack.
He turned the canoe toward the shore; he landed;
he cooked his supper in the dusk; the animal made no sign. Not far away it
certainly lay and watched, but it did not advance. And to Hyde, observant now
in a new way, came one sharp, vivid reminder of the strange atmosphere into
which his commonplace personality had strayed: he suddenly recalled that his
relations with the beast, already established, had progressed distinctly a
stage further. This startled him, yet without the accompanying alarm he must
certainly have felt twenty-four hours before. He had an understanding with the
wolf. He was aware of friendly thoughts toward it. He even went so far as to
set out a few big fish on the spot where he had first seen it sitting the
previous night. 'If he comes,' he thought, 'he is welcome to them, I've got
plenty, anyway.' He thought of it now as 'he.'
Yet the wolf made no appearance until he was in
the act of entering his tent a good deal later. It was close on ten o'clock,
whereas nine was his hour, and late at that, for turning in. He had, therefore,
unconsciously been waiting for him. Then, as he was closing the flap, he saw
the eyes close to where he had placed the fish. He waited, hiding himself, and
expecting to hear sounds of munching jaws; but all was silence. Only the eyes
glowed steadily out of the background of pitch darkness. He closed the flap. He
had no slightest fear. In ten minutes he was sound asleep.
He could not have slept very long, for when he
woke up he could see the shine of a faint red light through the canvas, and the
fire had not died down completely. He rose and cautiously peeped out. The air
was very cold, he saw breath. But he also saw the wolf, for it had come in, and
was sitting by the dying embers, not two yards away from where he crouched
behind the flap. And this time, at these very close quarters, there was
something in the attitude of the big wild thing that caught his attention with
a vivid thrill of startled surprise and a sudden shock of cold that held him
spell-bound. He stared, unable to believe his eyes; for the wolf's attitude
conveyed to him something familiar that at first was unable to explain. Its
pose reached him in the terms of another thing with which he was entirely at
home. What was it? Did his senses betray him? Was he still asleep and dreaming?
Then, suddenly, with a start of uncanny
recognition, he knew. Its attitude was that of a dog.
Having found the clue, his mind then made an
awful leap. For it was, after all, no dog its appearance aped, but something
nearer to himself, and more familiar still. Good heavens! It sat there with the
pose, the attitude, the gesture in repose of something almost human. And then,
with a second shock of biting wonder, it came to him like a revelation. The
wolf sat beside that camp-fire as a man might sit.
Before he could weigh his extraordinary
discovery, before he could examine it in detail or with care, the animal,
sitting in this ghastly fashion, seemed to feel his eyes fixed on it. It slowly
turned and looked him in the face, and for the first time Hyde felt a
fullblooded superstitious fear flood through his entire being. He seemed
transfixed with that nameless terror that is said to attack human beings who
suddenly face the dead, finding themselves bereft of speech and movement. This
moment of paralysis certainly occurred. Its passing, however, was as singular
as its advent. For almost at once he was aware of something beyond and above
this mockery of human attitude and pose, something that ran along unaccustomed
nerves and reached his feeling, even perhaps his heart. The revulsion was
extraordinary, its result still more extraordinary and unexpected. Yet the fact
remains. He was aware of another thing that had the effect of stilling his
terror as soon as it was born. He was aware of appeal, silent, half expressed,
yet vastly pathetic.
He saw in the savage eyes beseeching, even a
yearning, expression that changed his mood as by magic from dread to natural
sympathy. The great grey brute, symbol of cruel ferocity, sat there beside his
dying fire and appealed for help.
The gulf betwixt animal and human seemed in that
instant bridged. It was, of course, incredible. Hyde, sleep still possibly
clinging to his inner being with the shades and half shapes of dream yet about
his soul, acknowledged, how he knew not, the amazing fact. He found himself
nodding to the brute in half consent, and instantly, without more ado, the lean
grey shape rose like a wraith and trotted off swiftly, but with stealthy tread,
into the background of the night.
When Hyde woke in the morning his first
impression was that he must have dreamed the entire incident. His practical
nature asserted itself. There was a bite in the fresh autumn air; the bright
sun allowed no half lights anywhere; he felt brisk in mind and body. Reviewing
what had happened, he came to the conclusion that it was utterly vain to
speculate; no possible explanation of the animal's behaviour occurred to him:
he was dealing with something entirely outside his experience. His fear,
however, had completely left him. The odd sense of friendliness remained.
The beast had a definite purpose, and he himself
was included in that purpose. His sympathy held good.
But with the sympathy there was also an intense
curiosity. 'If it shows itself again,' he told himself, 'I'll go up close and
find out what it wants.' The fish laid out the night before had not been
touched.
It must have been a full hour after breakfast
when he next saw the brute; it was standing on the edge of the clearing,
looking at him in the way now become familiar. Hyde immediately picked up his
axe and advanced toward it boldly, keeping his eyes fixed straight upon its
own. There was nervousness in him, but kept well under; nothing betrayed it;
step by step he drew nearer until some ten yards separated them. The wolf had
not stirred a muscle as yet. Its jaws hung open, its eyes observed him
intently; it allowed him to approach without a sign of what its mood might be.
Then, with these ten yards between them, it turned abruptly and moved slowly
off, looking back first over one shoulder and then over the other, exactly as a
dog might do, to see if he was following.
A singular journey it was they then made
together, animal and man. The trees surrounded them at once, for they left the
lake behind them, entering the tangled bush beyond. The beast, Hyde noticed,
obviously picked the easiest track for him to follow; for obstacles that meant
nothing to the four-legged expert, yet were difficult for a man, were carefully
avoided with an almost uncanny skill, while yet the general direction was
accurately kept. Occasionally there were windfalls to be surmounted; but though
the wolf bounded over these with it was always waiting for the man on the other
side after he had laboriously climbed over. Deeper and deeper into the heart of
the lonely forest they penetrated in this singular fashion, cutting across the
arc of the lake's crescent, it seemed to Hyde; for after two miles or so, he
recognised the big rocky bluff that overhung the water at its northern end.
This outstanding bluff he had seen from his camp, one side of it falling sheer
into the water; it was probably the spot, he imagined, where the Indians held
their medicine-making ceremonies, for it stood out in isolated fashion, and its
top formed a private plateau not easy of access. And it was here, close to a
big spruce at the foot of the bluff upon the forest side, that the wolf stopped
suddenly and for the first time since its appearance gave audible expression to
its feelings. It sat down on its haunches, lifted its muzzle with open jaws,
and gave vent to a subdued and long-drawn howl that was more like the wail of a
dog than the fierce barking cry associated with a wolf. By this time Hyde had
lost not only fear, but caution too; nor, oddly enough, did this warning howl,
revive a sign of unwelcome emotion in him. In that curious sound he detected
the same message that the eyes conveyed--appeal for help. He paused, nevertheless,
a little startled, and while the wolf sat waiting for him, he looked about him
quickly. There was young timber here; it had once been a small clearing,
evidently. Axe and fire had done their work, but there was evidence to an
experienced eye that it was Indians and not white men who had once been busy
here. Some part of the medicine ritual, doubtless, took place in the little
clearing, thought the man, as he advanced again towards his patient leader. The
end of their queer journey, he felt, was close at hand.
He had not taken two steps before the animal got
up and moved very slowly in the direction of some low bushes that formed a
clump just beyond. It entered these, first looking back to make sure that its
companion watched. The bushes hid it; a moment later it emerged again. Twice it
performed this pantomime, each time, as it reappeared, standing still and
staring at the man with as distinct an expression of appeal in the eyes as an
animal may compass, probably. Its excitement, meanwhile, certainly increased,
and this excitement was, with equal certainty, communicated to the man. Hyde
made up his mind quickly. Gripping his axe tightly, and ready to use it at the
first hint of malice, he moved slowly nearer to the bushes, wondering with
something of a tremor what would happen.
If he expected to be startled, his expectation
was at once fulfilled; but it was the behaviour of the beast that made him
jump. It positively frisked about him like a happy dog. It frisked for joy.
Its excitement was intense, yet from its open
mouth no sound was audible. With a sudden leap, then, it bounded past him into
the clump of bushes, against whose very edge he stood, and began scraping
vigorously at the ground. Hyde stood and stared, amazement and interest now
banishing all his nervousness, even when the beast, in its violent scraping,
actually touched his body with its own. He had, perhaps, the feeling that he
was in a dream, one of those fantastic dreams in which things may happen
without involving an adequate surprise; for otherwise the manner of scraping
and scratching at the ground must have seemed an impossible phenomenon. No
wolf, no dog certainly, used its paws in the way those paws were working. Hyde
had the odd, distressing sensation that it was hands, not paws, he watched. And
yet, somehow, the natural, adequate surprise he should have felt was absent.
The strange action seemed not entirely unnatural. In his heart some deep hidden
spring of sympathy and pity stirred instead. He was aware of pathos.
The wolf stopped in its task and looked up into
his face. Hyde acted without hesitation then.
Afterwards he was wholly at a loss to explain
his own conduct. It seemed he knew what to do, divined what was asked, expected
of him. Between his mind and the dumb desire yearning through the savage animal
there was intelligent and intelligible communication. He cut a stake and
sharpened it, for the stones would blunt his axe-edge. He entered the clump of
bushes to complete the digging his four-legged companion had begun. And while he
worked, though he did not forget the close proximity of the wolf, he paid no
attention to it; often his back was turned as he stooped over the laborious
clearing away of the hard earth; no uneasiness or sense of danger was in him
any more. The wolf sat outside the clump and watched the operations. Its
concentrated attention, its patience, its intense eagerness, the gentleness and
docility of the grey, fierce, and probably hungry brute, its obvious pleasure
and satisfaction, too, at having won the human to its mysterious purpose--these
were colours in the strange picture that Hyde thought of later when dealing
with the human herd in his hotel again. At the moment he was aware chiefly of
pathos and affection. The whole business was, of course, not to be believed,
but that discovery came later, too, when telling it to others.
The digging continued for fully half an hour
before his labour was rewarded by the discovery of a small whitish object. He
picked it up and examined it--the finger-bone of a man. Other discoveries then
followed quickly and in quantity. The cache was laid bare. He collected nearly
the complete skeleton. The skull however, he found last, and might not have
found at all but for the guidance of his strangely alert companion. It lay some
few yards away from the central hole now dug, and the wolf stood nuzzling the
ground with its nose before Hyde understood that he was meant to dig exactly in
that spot for it. Between the beast's very paws his stake struck hard upon it.
He scraped the earth from the bone and examined it carefully. It was perfect,
save for the fact that some wild animal had gnawed it, the teeth-marks being
still plainly visible. Close beside it lay the rusty iron head of a tomahawk.
This and the smallness of the bones confirmed him in his judgment that it was
the skeleton not of a white man, but of an Indian.
During the excitement of the discovery of the
bones one by one, and finally of the skull, but, more especially, during the
period of intense interest while Hyde was examining them, he had paid little if
any attention to the wolf. He was aware that it sat and watched him, never
moving its keen eyes for a single moment from the actual operations, but sign
or movement it made none at all. He knew that it was pleased and satisfied, he
knew also that he had now fulfilled its purpose in a great measure. The further
intuition that now came to him, derived, he felt positive, from his companion's
dumb desire, was perhaps the cream of the entire experience to him.
Gathering the bones together in his coat, he
carried them, together with the tomahawk, to the foot of the big spruce where
the animal had first topped. His leg actually touched the creature's muzzle as
he passed. It turned its head to watch, but did not follow, nor did it move a muscle
while he prepared the platform of boughs upon which he then laid the poor worn
bones of an Indian who had been killed, doubtless, in sudden attack or ambush,
and to whose remains had been denied the last grace of proper tribal burial. He
wrapped the bones in bark; he laid the tomahawk beside the skull; he lit the
circular fire round the pyre, and the blue smoke rose upward into the clear
bright sunshine of the Canadian autumn morning till it was lost among the
mighty trees far overhead.
In the moment before actually lighting the
little fire he had turned to note what his companion did. It sat five yards
away, he saw, gazing intently, and one of its front paws was raised a little
from the ground. It made no sign of any kind. He finished the work, becoming so
absorbed in it that he had eyes for nothing but the tending and guarding of his
careful ceremonial fire. It was only when the platform of boughs collapsed,
laying their charred burden gently on the fragrant earth among the soft wood
ashes, that he turned again, as though to show the wolf what he had done, and
seek, perhaps, some look of satisfaction in its curiously expressive eyes. But
the place he searched was empty. The wolf had gone.
He did not see it again; it gave no sign of its
presence where; he was not watched. He fished as before, wandered through the
bush about his camp, sat smoking round his fire after dark, and slept
peacefully in his cosy little tent. He was not disturbed. No howl was ever
audible in the distant forest, no twig snapped beneath a stealthy tread, he saw
no eyes. The wolf that behaved like a man had gone for ever.
It was the day before he left that Hyde,
noticing smoke rising from the shack across the lake, paddled over to exchange
a word or two with the Indian, who had evidently now returned. The Redskin came
down to meet him as he landed, but it was soon plain that he spoke very little
English. He emitted the familiar grunts at first; then bit by bit Hyde stirred
his limited vocabulary into action. The net result, however, was slight enough
though it was certainly direct:
'You camp there?' the man asked, pointing to the
other side.
'Yes.'
'Wolf come?'
'Yes.'
'You see wolf?'
'Yes.' The Indian stared at him fixedly a
moment, a keen, wondering look upon his coppery, creased face.
'You 'fraid wolf?' he asked after a moment's
pause.
'No,' replied Hyde, truthfully. He knew it was
useless to ask questions of his own, though he was eager for information. The
other would have told him nothing. It was sheer luck that the man had touched
on the subject at all, and Hyde realised that his own best role was merely to
answer, but to ask no questions. Then, suddenly, the Indian became
comparatively voluble. There was awe in his voice and manner.
'Him no wolf. Him big medicine wolf. Him spirit
wolf.'
Whereupon he drank the tea the other had brewed
for him, closed his lips tightly, and said no more. His outline was discernible
on the shore, rigid and motionless, an hour later, when Hyde's canoe turned the
corner of the lake three miles away, and landed to make the portages up the
first rapid of his homeward stream.
It was Morton who, after some persuasion,
supplied further details of what he called the legend. Some hundred years
before, the tribe that lived in the territory beyond the lake began their
annual medicine-making ceremonies on the big rocky bluff at the northern end;
but no medicine could be made. The spirits, declared the chief medicine man,
would not answer. They were offended. An investigation followed. It was
discovered that a young brave had recently killed a wolf, a thing strictly
forbidden, since the wolf was the totem animal of the tribe. To make matters
worse, the name of the guilty man was Running Wolf. The offence being
unpardonable, the man was cursed and driven from the tribe:
'Go out. Wander alone among the woods, and if we
see you we slay you. Your bones shall be scattered in the forest, and your
spirit shall not enter the Happy Hunting Grounds till one of another race shall
find and bury them.'
'Which meant,' explained Morton laconically, his
only comment on the story, 'probably for ever.'
Dusk was melting into darkness as the two men
slowly made their way through the dense forest of spruce and fir that clothed
the flanks of the mountain. They were weary with the long climb, for neither
was in his first youth, and the July day had been a hot one. Their little inn
lay further in the valley among the orchards that separated the forest from the
vineyards.
Neither of them talked much. The big man led the
way, carrying the knapsack, and his companion, older, shorter, evidently the
more fatigued of the two, followed with small footsteps.
From time to time he stumbled among the loose
rocks. An exceptionally observant mind would possibly have divined that his
stumbling was not entirely due to fatigue, but to an absorption of spirit that
made him careless how he walked.
'All right behind?' the big man would call from
time to time, half glancing back.
'Eh? What?' the other would reply, startled out
of a reverie.
'Pace too fast?'
'Not a bit. I'm coming.' And once he added: 'You
might hurry on and see to supper, if you feel like it. I shan't be long behind
you.'
But his big friend did not adopt the suggestion.
He kept the same distance between them. He called out the same question at
intervals, Once or twice he stopped and looked back too.
In this way they came at length to the skirts of
the wood. A deep hush covered all the valley; the limestone ridges they had
climbed gleamed down white and ghostly upon them from the fading sky. Midway in
its journeys, the evening wind dropped suddenly to watch the beauty of the
moonlight--to hold the branches still so that the light might slip between and
weave its silver pattern on the moss below.
And, as they stood a moment to take it in, a
step sounded behind them on the soft pine-needles, and the older man, still a
little in the rear, turned with a start as though he had been suddenly called
by name.
'There's that girl--again!' he said, and his
voice expressed a curious mingling of pleasure, surprise and--apprehension.
Into a patch of moonlight passed the figure of a
young girl, looked at them as though about to stop yet thinking better of it,
smiled softly, and moved on out of sight into the surrounding darkness. The moon
just caught her eyes and teeth, so that they shone; the rest of her body stood
in shadow; the effect was striking--almost as though head and shoulders hung
alone in mid air, watching them with this shining smile, then fading away.
'Come on, for heaven's sake,' the big man cried.
There was impatience in his manner, not unkindness. The other lingered a
moment, peering closely into the gloom where the girl had vanished. His friend
repeated his injunction, and a moment later the two had emerged upon the high road
with the village lights in sight beyond, and the forest left behind them like a
vast mantle that held the night within its folds.
For some minutes neither of them spoke; then the
big man waited for his friend to draw up alongside.
'About all this valley of the Jura,' he said
presently, 'there seems to me something--rather weird.' He shifted the knapsack
vigorously on his back. It was a gesture of unconscious protest.
'Something uncanny,' he added, as he set a good
pace.
'But extraordinarily beautiful--'
'It attracts you more than it does me, I think,'
was the short reply.
'The picturesque superstitions still survive
here,' observed the older man. 'They touch the imagination in spite of
oneself.'
A pause followed during which the other tried to
increase the pace. The subject evidently made him impatient for some reason.
'Perhaps,' he said presently. 'Though I think
myself it's due to the curious loneliness of the place. I mean, we're in the
middle of tourist-Europe here, yet so utterly remote. It's such a neglected
little corner of the world. The contradiction bewilders. Then, being so near
the frontier, too, with the clock changing an hour a mile from the village,
makes one think of time as unreal and imaginary.' He laughed. He produced several
other reasons as well. His friend admitted their value, and agreed
half-heartedly. He still turned occasionally to look back. The mountain ridge
where they had climbed was clearly visible in the moonlight.
'Odd,' he said, 'but I don't see that farmhouse
where we got the milk anywhere. It ought to be easily visible from here.'
'Hardly--in this light. It was a queer place
rather, I thought,' he added. He did not deny the curiously suggestive
atmosphere of the region, he merely wanted to find satisfactory explanations.
'A case in point, I mean. I didn't like it quite--that farmhouse--yet I'm
hanged if I know why. It made me feel uncomfortable. That girl appeared so
suddenly, although the place seemed deserted. And her silence was so odd. Why
in the world couldn't she answer a single question? I'm glad I didn't take the
milk. I spat it out. I'd like to know where she got it from, for there was no
sign of a cow or a goat to be seen anywhere!'
'I swallowed mine--in spite of the taste,' said
the other, half smiling at his companion's sudden volubility.
Very abruptly, then, the big man turned and
faced his friend. Was it merely an effect of the moonlight, or had his skin
really turned pale beneath the sunburn?
'I say, old man,' he said, his face grave and
serious, 'What do you think she was? What made her seem like that, and why the
devil do you think she followed us?'
'I think,' was the slow reply, 'it was me she
was following.'
The words, and particularly the tone of
conviction in which they were spoken, clearly were displeasing to the big man,
who already regretted having spoken so frankly what was in his mind. With a
companion so imaginative, so impressionable, so nervous, it had been foolish
and unwise. He led the way home at a pace that made the other arrive five
minutes in his rear, panting, limping and perspiring as if he had been running.
'I'm rather for going on into Switzerland
tomorrow, or the next day,' he ventured that night in the darkness of their
two-bedded room. 'I think we've had enough of this place. Eh? What do you
think?'
But there was no answer from the bed across the
room, for its occupant was sound asleep and snoring.
'Dead tired, I suppose!' he muttered to himself,
and then turned over to follow his friend's example. But for a long time sleep
refused him. Queer, unwelcome thoughts and feelings kept him awake--of a kind
he rarely knew, and thoroughly disliked. It was rubbish, yet it made him
uncomfortable so that his nerves tingled. He tossed about in the bed. 'I'm
overtired,' he persuaded himself, 'that's all.'
The strange feelings that kept him thus awake
were not easy to analyse, perhaps, but their origin was beyond all question:
they grouped themselves about the picture of that deserted, tumble-down châlet
on the mountain ridge where they had stopped for refreshment a few hours
before. It was a farmhouse, dilapidated and dirty, and the name stood in big
black letters against a blue background on the wall above the door: 'La
Chenille.' Yet not a living soul was to be seen anywhere about it; the doors
were fastened, windows shuttered; chimneys smokeless; dirt, neglect and decay
everywhere in evidence.
Then, suddenly, as they had turned to go, after
much vain shouting and knocking at the door, a face appeared for an instant at
a window, the shutter of which was half open. His friend saw it first, and
called aloud. The face nodded in reply, and presently a young girl came round
the corner of the house, apparently by a back door, and stood staring at them
both from a little distance.
And from that very instant, so far as he could
remember, these queer feelings had entered his heart--fear, distrust,
misgiving. The thought of it now, as he lay in bed in the darkness, made his
hair rise. There was something about that girl that struck cold into the soul.
Yet she was a mere slip of a thing, very pretty, seductive even, with a certain
serpent-like fascination about her eyes and movements; and although she only
replied to their questions as to refreshment with a smile, uttering no single
word, she managed to convey the impression that she was a managing little
person who might make herself very disagreeable if she chose. In spite of her
undeniable charm there was about her an atmosphere of something sinister. He
himself did most of the questioning, but it was his older friend who had the
benefit of her smile. Her eyes hardly ever left his face, and once she had
slipped quite close to him and touched his arm.
The strange part of it now seemed to him that he
could not remember in the least how she was dressed, or what was the colouring
of her eyes and hair. It was almost as though he had felt, rather than seen,
her presence.
The milk--she produced a jug and two wooden
bowls after a brief disappearance round the corner of the house--was--well, it
tasted so odd that he had been unable to swallow it, and had spat it out. His
friend, on the other hand, savage with thirst, had drunk his bowl to the last
drop too quickly to taste it even, and, while he drank, had kept his eyes fixed
on those of the girl, who stood close in front of him.
And from that moment his friend had somehow
changed. On the way down he said things that were unusual, talking chiefly
about the 'Chenille,' and the girl, and the delicious, delicate flavour of the
milk, yet all phrased in such a way that it sounded singular, unfamiliar,
unpleasant even.
Now that he tried to recall the sentences the
actual words evaded him; but the memory of the uneasiness and apprehension they
caused him to feel remained. And night ever italicizes such memories!
Then, to cap it all, the girl had followed them.
It was wholly foolish and absurd to feel the things he did feel; yet there the
feelings were, and what was the good of arguing? That girl frightened him; the
change in his friend was in some way or other a danger signal. More than this
he could not tell. An explanation might come later, but for the present his
chief desire was to get away from the place and to get his friend away, too.
And on this thought sleep overtook him--heavily.
The windows were wide open; outside was a garden
with a rather high enclosing wall, and at the far end a gate that was kept
locked because it led into private fields and so, by a back way, to the
cemetery and the little church. When it was open the guests of the inn made use
of it and got lost in the network of fields and vines, for there was no proper
route that way to the road or the mountains. They usually ended up prematurely
in the cemetery, and got back to the village by passing through the church,
which was always open; or by knocking at the kitchen doors of the other houses
and explaining their position. Hence the gate was locked now to save trouble.
After several hours of hot, unrefreshing sleep
the big man turned in his bed and woke. He tried to stretch, but couldn't; then
sat up panting with a sense of suffocation. And by the faint starlight of the
summer night, he saw next that his friend was up and moving about the room.
Remembering that sometimes he walked in his
sleep, he called to him gently:
'Morton, old chap,' he said in a low voice, with
a touch of authority in it, 'go back to bed! You've walked enough for one day!'
And the figure, obeying as sleep-walkers often
will, passed across the room and disappeared among the shadows over his bed.
The other plunged and burrowed himself into a comfortable position again for
sleep, but the heat of the room, the shortness of the bed, and this tiresome
interruption of his slumbers made it difficult to lose consciousness. He forced
his eyes to keep shut, and his body to cease from fidgeting, but there was
something nibbling at his mind like a spirit mouse that never permitted him to
cross the frontier into actual oblivion. He slept with one eye open, as the
saying is. Odours of hay and flowers and baked ground stole in through the open
window; with them, too, came from time to time sounds--little sounds that
disturbed him without being ever loud enough to claim definite attention.
Perhaps, after all, he did lose consciousness
for a moment--when, suddenly, a thought came with a sharp rush into his mind
and galvanized him once more into utter wakefulness. It amazed him that he had
not grasped it before. It was this: the figure he had seen was not the figure
of his friend.
Alarm gripped him at once before he could think
or argue, and a cold perspiration broke out all over his body. He fumbled for
matches, couldn't find them; then, remembering there was electric light, he
scraped the wall with his fingers--and turned on the little white switch. In
the sudden glare that filled the room he saw instantly that his friend's bed
was no longer occupied. And his mind, then acting instinctively, without
process of conscious reasoning, flew like a flash to their walk of the day--to
the tumble-down. 'Chenille,' the glass of milk, the odd behaviour of his friend,
and--to the girl.
At the same second he noticed that the odour in
the room which hitherto he had taken to be the composite odour of fields,
flowers and night, was really something else: it was the odour of freshly
turned earth. Immediately on the top of this discovery came another. Those
slight sounds he had heard outside the window were not ordinary night-sounds,
the murmur of wind and insects: they were footsteps moving softly, stealthily
down the little paths of crushed granite.
He was dressed in wonderful short order,
noticing as he did so that his friend's night-garments lay upon the bed, and
that he, too, had therefore dressed; further--that the door had been unlocked
and stood half an inch ajar. There was now no question that he had slept again:
between the present and the moment when he had seen the figure there had been a
considerable interval. A couple of minutes later he had made his way cautiously
downstairs and was standing on the garden path in the moonlight. And as he
stood there, his mind filled with the stories the proprietor had told a few
days before of the superstitions that still lived in the popular imagination
and haunted this little, remote pine-clad valley. The thought of that girl
sickened him. The odour of newly-turned earth remained in his nostrils and made
his gorge rise. Utterly and vigorously he rejected the monstrous fictions he
had heard, yet for all that, could not prevent their touching his imagination
as he stood there in the early hours of the morning, alone with night and silence.
The spell was undeniable; only a mind without sensibility could have ignored
it.
He searched the little garden from end to end.
Empty! Opposite the high gate he stopped, peering through the iron bars, wet
with dew to his hands. Far across the intervening fields he fancied something
moved. A second later he was sure of it. Something down there to the right
beyond the trees was astir. It was in the cemetery.
And this definite discovery sent a shudder of
terror and disgust through him from head to foot.
He framed the name of his friend with his lips,
yet the sound did not come forth. Some deeper instinct warned him to hold it
back. Instead, after incredible efforts, he climbed that iron gate and dropped
down into the soaking grass upon the other side. Then, taking advantage of all
the cover he could find, he ran, swiftly and stealthily, towards the cemetery.
On the way, without quite knowing why he did so, he picked up a heavy stick;
and a moment later he stood beside the low wall that separated the fields from
the churchyard--stood and stared.
There, beside the tombstones, with their hideous
metal wreaths and crowns of faded flowers, he made out the figure of his
friend; he was stooping, crouched down upon the ground; behind him rose a
couple of bushy yew trees, against the dark of which his form was easily
visible. He was not alone; in front of him, bending close over him it seemed,
was another figure--a slight, shadowy, slim figure.
This time the big man found his voice and called
aloud:
'Morton, Morton!' he cried. 'What, in the name
of heaven, are you doing? What's the matter?'
And the instant his deep voice broke the
stillness of the night with its clamour, the little figure, half hiding his
friend, turned about and faced him. He saw a white face with shining eyes and
teeth as the form rose; the moonlight painted it with its own strange pallor;
it was weird, unreal, horrible; and across the mouth, downwards from the lips
to the chin, ran a deep stain of crimson.
The next moment the figure slid with a queer,
gliding motion towards the trees, and disappeared among the yews and tombstones
in the direction of the church. The heavy stick, hurled whirling after it, fell
harmlessly halfway, knocking a metal cross from its perch upon an upright
grave; and the man who had thrown it raced full speed towards the huddled up
figure of his friend, hardly noticing the thin, wailing cry that rose trembling
through the night air from the vanished form. Nor did he notice more
particularly that several of the graves, newly made, showed signs of recent
disturbance, and that the odour of turned earth he had noticed in the room grew
stronger. All his attention was concentrated upon the figure at his feet.
'Morton, man, get up! Wake for God's sake!
You've been walking in--'
Then the words died upon his lips. The unnatural
attitude of his friend's shoulders, and the way the head dropped back to show
the neck, struck him like a blow in the face. There was no sign of movement. He
lifted the body up and carried it, all limp and unresisting, by ways he never
remembered afterwards, back to the inn.
It was all a dreadful nightmare--a nightmare
that carried over its ghastly horror into waking life. He knew that the
proprietor and his wife moved busily to and fro about the bed, and that in due
course the village doctor was upon the scene, and that he was giving a muddled
and feverish description of all he knew, telling how his friend was a confirmed
sleep-walker and all the rest.
But he did not realize the truth until he saw
the face of the doctor as he straightened up from the long examination.
'Will you wake him?' he heard himself asking,
'or let him sleep it out till morning?' And the doctor's expression, even
before the reply came to confirm it, told him the truth. 'Ah, monsieur, your friend
will not ever wake again, I fear! It is the heart, you see; hélas, it is sudden
failure of the heart!' The final scenes in the little tragedy which thus
brought his holiday to so abrupt and terrible a close need no description,
being in no way essential to this strange story. There were one or two curious
details, however, that came to light afterwards. One was, that for some weeks
before there had been signs of disturbance among newly-made graves in the
cemetery, which the authorities had been trying to trace to the nightly
wanderings of the village madman--in vain; and another, that the morning after
the death a trail of blood had been found across the church floor, as though
someone had passed through from the back entrance to the front. A special service
was held that very week to cleanse the holy building from the evil of that
stain; for the villagers, deep in their superstitions, declared that nothing
human had left that trail; nothing could have made those marks but a vampire
disturbed at midnight in its awful occupation among the dead.
Apart from such idle rumours, however, the
bereaved carried with him to this day certain other remarkable details which
cannot be so easily dismissed. For he had a brief conversation with the doctor,
it appears, that impressed him profoundly. And the doctor, an intelligent man,
prosaic as granite into the bargain, had questioned him rather closely as to
the recent life and habits of his dead friend. The account of their climb to
the 'Chenille' he heard with an amazement he could not conceal.
'But no such chalet exists,' he said. 'There is
no "Chenille". A long time ago, fifty years or more, there was such a
place, but it was destroyed by the authorities on account of the evil
reputation of the people who lived there. They burnt it. Nothing remains today
but a few bits of broken wall and foundation.'
'Evil reputation--?'
The doctor shrugged his shoulders 'Travellers,
even peasants, disappeared,' he said. 'An old woman lived there with her
daughter, and poisoned milk was supposed to be used. But the neighbourhood
accused them of worse than ordinary murder--'
'In what way?'
'Said the girl was a vampire,' answered the
doctor shortly.
And, after a moment's hesitation, he added,
turning his face away as he spoke:
'It was a curious thing, though, that tiny hole
in your friend's throat, small as a pin-prick, yet so deep. And the heart--did
I tell you?--was almost completely drained of blood.'
That the man's hopes had built upon a son to
inherit his name and estates--a single son, that is--was to be expected; but no
one could have foreseen the depth and bitterness of his disappointment, the
cold, implacable fury, when there arrived instead--twins. For, though the elder
legally must inherit, that other ran him so deadly close. A daughter would have
been a more reasonable defeat. But twins--! To miss his dream by so feeble a
device--!
The complete frustration of a hope deeply
cherished for years may easily result in strange fevers of the soul, but the
violence of the father's hatred, existing as it did side by side with a love he
could not deny, was something to set psychologists thinking. More than
unnatural, it was positively uncanny. Being a man of rigid self-control,
however, it operated inwardly, and doubtless along some morbid line of weakness
little suspected even by those nearest to him, preying upon his thought to such
dreadful extent that finally the mind gave way. The suppressed rage and
bitterness deprived him, so the family decided, of his reason, and he spent the
last years of his life under restraint. He was possessed naturally of immense
forces--of will, feeling, desire; his dynamic value truly tremendous, driving
through life like a great engine; and the intensity of this concentrated and
buried hatred was guessed by few. The twins themselves, however, knew it. They
divined it, at least, for it operated ceaselessly against them side by side
with the genuine soft love that occasionally sweetened it, to their great
perplexity. They spoke of it only to each other, though.
'At twenty-one,' Edward, the elder, would remark
sometimes, unhappily, 'we shall know more.' 'Too much,' Ernest would reply,
with a rush of unreasoning terror the thought never failed to evoke--in him.
'Things father said always happened--in life.' And they paled perceptibly. For
the hatred, thus compressed into a veritable bomb of psychic energy, had found
at the last a singular expression in the cry of the father's distraught mind.
On the occasion of their final visit to the asylum, preceding his death by a
few hours only, very calmly, but with an intensity that drove the words into
their hearts like points of burning metal, he had spoken. In the presence of
the attendant, at the door of the dreadful padded cell, he said it: 'You are
not two, but one. I still regard you as one. And at the coming of age, by h--,
you shall find it out!'
The lads perhaps had never fully divined that
icy hatred which lay so well concealed against them, but that this final
sentence was a curse, backed by all the man's terrific force, they quite well
realised; and accordingly, almost unknown to each other, they had come to dread
the day inexpressibly. On the morning of that twenty-first birthday--their
father gone these five years into the Unknown, yet still sometimes so strangely
close to them--they shared the same biting, inner terror, just as they shared
all other emotions of their life--intimately, without speech.
During the daytime they managed to keep it at a
distance; but when the dusk fell about the old house they knew the stealthy
approach of a kind of panic sense. Their self-respect weakened swiftly...and
they persuaded their old friend, and once tutor, the vicar, to sit up with them
till midnight...He had humoured them to that extent, willing to forgo his
sleep, and at the same time more than a little interested in their singular
belief--that before the day was out, before midnight struck, that is, the curse
of that terrible man would somehow come into operation against them.
Festivities over and the guests departed, they
sat up in the library, the room usually occupied by their father, and little
used since. Mr. Curtice, a robust man of fifty-five, and a firm believer in
spiritual principalities and powers, dark as well as good, affected (for their own
good) to regard the youths' obsession with a kindly cynicism. 'I do not think
it likely for one moment,' he said gravely, 'that such a thing would be
permitted. All spirits are in the hands of God, and the violent ones more
especially.' To which Edward made the extraordinary reply: 'Even if father does
not come himself he will--send!' And Ernest agreed: 'All this time he's been
making preparations for this very day. We've both known it for a long time--by
odd things that have happened, by our dreams, by nasty little dark hints of
various kinds, and by these persistent attacks of terror that come from
nowhere, especially of late. Haven't we, Edward?' Edward assenting with a
shudder. 'Father has been at us of late with renewed violence. To-night it will
be a regular assault upon our lives, or minds, or souls!'
'Strong personalities may possibly leave behind
them forces that continue to act,' observed Mr. Curtice with caution, while the
brothers replied almost in the same breath: 'That's exactly what we feel so
curiously. Though--nothing has actually happened yet, you know, and it's a good
many years now since--'
This was the way the twins spoke of it all. And
it was their profound conviction that had touched their old friend's sense of
duty. The experiment should justify itself--and cure them.
Meanwhile none of the family knew. Everything
was planned secretly.
The library was the quietest room in the house.
It had shuttered bow-windows, thick carpets, heavy doors. Books lined the
walls, and there was a capacious open fireplace of brick in which the woodlogs
blazed and roared, for the autumn night was chilly. Round this the three of
them were grouped, the clergyman reading aloud from the Book of Job in low
tones; Edward and Ernest, in dinner-jackets, occupying deep leather arm-chairs,
listening. They looked exactly what they were--Cambridge 'undergrads,' their
faces pale against their dark hair, and alike as two peas. A shaded lamp behind
the clergyman threw the rest of the room into shadow. The reading voice was
steady, even monotonous, but something in it betrayed an underlying anxiety,
and although the eyes rarely left the printed page, they took in every movement
of the young men opposite, and noted every change upon their faces. It was his
aim to produce an unexciting atmosphere, yet to miss nothing; if anything did
occur to see it from the very beginning. Not to be taken by surprise was his
main idea...And thus, upon this falsely peaceful scene, the minutes passed the
hour of eleven and slipped rapidly along towards midnight.
The novel element in his account of this
distressing and dreadful occurrence seems to be that what happened--happened
without the slightest warning or preparation. There was no gradual presentiment
of any horror; no strange blast of cold air; no dwindling of heat or light; no
shaking of windows or mysterious tapping upon furniture. Without preliminaries
it fell with its black trappings of terror upon the scene.
The clergyman had been reading aloud for some
considerable time, one or other of the twins--Ernest usually--making occasional
remarks, which proved that his sense of dread was disappearing. As the time
grew short and nothing happened they grew more at their ease.
Edward, indeed, actually nodded, dozed, and
finally fell asleep. It was a few minutes before midnight. Ernest, slightly
yawning, was stretching himself in the big chair. 'Nothing's going to happen,'
he said aloud, in a pause. 'Your good influence has prevented it.' He even
laughed now.
'What superstitious asses we've been, sir;
haven't we--?'
Curtice, then, dropping his Bible, looked hard
at him under the lamp. For in that second, even while the words sounded, there
had come about a most abrupt and dreadful change; and so swiftly that the
clergyman, in spite of himself, was taken utterly by surprise and had no time
to think. There had swooped down upon the quiet library--so he puts it--an
immense hushing silence, so profound that the peace already reigning there
seemed clamour by comparison; and out of this enveloping stillness there rose
through the space about them a living and abominable Invasion--soft,
motionless, terrific. It was as though vast engines, working at full speed and
pressure, yet too swift and delicate to be appreciable to any definite sense,
had suddenly dropped down upon them--from nowhere. 'It made me think,' the
vicar used to say afterwards, 'of the Mauretania machinery compressed into a
nutshell, yet losing none of its awful power.'
'...haven't we?' repeated Ernest, still
laughing. And Curtice, making no audible reply, heard the true answer in his
heart: 'Because everything has already happened--even as you feared.'
Yet, to the vicar's supreme astonishment, Ernest
still noticed--nothing!
'Look,' the boy added, 'Eddy's sound
asleep--sleeping like a pig. Doesn't say much for your reading, you know, sir!'
And he laughed again--lightly, even foolishly. But that laughter jarred, for
the clergyman understood now that the sleep of the elder twin was either
feigned--or unnatural.
And while the easy words fell so lightly from
his lips, the monstrous engines worked and pulsed against him and against his
sleeping brother, all their huge energy concentrated down into points fine as
Suggestion, delicate as Thought. The Invasion affected everything. The very
objects in the room altered incredibly, revealing suddenly behind their normal
exteriors horrid little hearts of darkness. It was truly amazing, this vile
metamorphosis. Books, chairs, pictures, all yielded up their pleasant aspect,
and betrayed, as with silent mocking laughter, their inner soul of
blackness--their decay. This is how Curtice tries to body forth in words what
he actually witnessed...And Ernest, yawning, talking lightly, half
foolishly--still noticed nothing!
For all this, as described, came about in something
like ten seconds; and with it swept into the clergyman's mind, like a blow, the
memory of that sinister phrase used more than once by Edward: 'If father
doesn't come, he will certainly--send.' And Curtice understood that he had done
both--both sent and come himself...That violent mind, released from its spell
of madness in the body, yet still retaining the old implacable hatred, was now
directing the terrible, unseen assault. This silent room, so hushed and still,
was charged to the brim. The horror of it, as he said later, 'seemed to peel
the very skin from my back.'...And, while Ernest noticed nothing, Edward
slept!...The soul of the clergyman, strong with the desire to help or save, yet
realising that he was alone against a Legion, poured out in wordless prayer to
his Deity. The clock just then, whirring before it struck, made itself audible.
'By Jove! It's all right, you see!' exclaimed
Ernest, his voice oddly fainter and lower than before. 'There's midnight--and
nothing's happened. Bally nonsense, all of it!' His voice had dwindled
curiously in volume. 'I'll get the whisky and soda from the hall.' His relief
was great and his manner showed it. But in him somewhere was a singular change.
His voice, manner, gestures, his very tread as he moved over the thick carpet
toward the door, all showed it. He seemed less real, less alive, reduced
somehow to littleness, the voice without timbre or quality, the appearance of
him diminished in some fashion quite ghastly. His presence, if not actually
shrivelled, was at least impaired. Ernest had suffered a singular and horrible
decrease...
The clock was still whirring before the strike.
One heard the chain running up softly. Then the hammer fell upon the first
stroke of midnight.
'I'm off,' he laughed faintly from the door;
'it's all been pure funk--on my part, at least...!'
He passed out of sight into the hall. The Power
that throbbed so mightily about the room followed him out. Almost at the same
moment Edward woke up. But he woke with a tearing and indescribable cry of pain
and anguish on his lips: 'Oh, oh, oh! But it hurts! It hurts! I can't hold you;
leave me. It's breaking me asunder--'
The clergyman had sprung to his feet, but in the
same instant everything had become normal once more--the room as it was before,
the horror gone. There was nothing he could do or say, for there was no longer
anything to put right, to defend, or to attack. Edward was speaking; his voice,
deep and full as it never had been before: 'By Jove, how that sleep has
refreshed me! I feel twice the chap I was before--twice the chap. I feel quite
splendid. Your voice, sir, must have hypnotised me to sleep...' He crossed the
room with great vigour. 'Where's--er--where's--Ernie, by the bye?' he asked
casually, hesitating--almost searching--for the name. And a shadow as of a
vanished memory crossed his face and was gone. The tone conveyed the most
complete indifference where once the least word or movement of his twin had
wakened solicitude, love. 'Gone away, I suppose--gone to bed, I mean, of course.'
Curtice has never been able to describe the
dreadful conviction that overwhelmed him as he stood there staring, his heart
in his mouth--the conviction, the positive certainty, that Edward had changed
interiorly, had suffered an incredible accession to his existing personality.
But he knew it as he watched. His mind, spirit, soul had most wonderfully
increased. Something that hitherto the lad had known from the outside only, or
by the magic of loving sympathy, had now passed, to be incorporated with his
own being. And, being himself, it required no expression. Yet this visible
increase was somehow terrible. Curtice shrank back from him. The instinct--he
has never grasped the profound psychology of that, nor why it turned his soul
dizzy with a kind of nausea--the instinct to strike him where he stood, passed,
and a plaintive sound from the hall, stealing softly into the room between
them, sent all that was left to him of self-possession into his feet. He turned
and ran. Edward followed him--very leisurely.
They found Ernest, or what had been Ernest,
crouching behind the table in the hall, weeping foolishly to himself. On his
face lay blackness. The mouth was open, the jaw dropped; he dribbled
hopelessly; and from the face had passed all signs of intelligence--of spirit.
For a few weeks he lingered on, regaining no
sign of spiritual or mental life before the poor body, hopelessly disorganised,
released what was left of him, from pure inertia--from complete and utter loss
of vitality.
And the horrible thing--so the distressed family
thought, at least--was that all those weeks Edward showed an indifference that
was singularly brutal and complete. He rarely even went to visit him. I
believe, too, it is true that he only once spoke of him by name; and that was
when he said--'Ernie? Oh, but Ernie is much better and happier where he is--!'
The child began to cry in the early
afternoon--about three o'clock, to be exact. I remember the hour, because I had
been listening with secret relief to the sound of the departing carriage. Those
wheels fading into the distance down the gravel drive with Mrs. Frene, and her
daughter Gladys to whom I was governess, meant for me some hours' welcome rest,
and the June day was oppressively hot. Moreover, there was this excitement in the
little country household that had told upon us all, but especially upon myself.
This excitement, running delicately behind all the events of the morning, was
due to some mystery, and the mystery was of course kept concealed from the
governess. I had exhausted myself with guessing and keeping on the watch. For
some deep and unexplained anxiety possessed me, so that I kept thinking of my
sister's dictum that I was really much too sensitive to make a good governess,
and that I should have done far better as a professional clairvoyante.
Mr. Frene, senior, "Uncle Frank," was
expected for an unusual visit from town about tea-time. That I knew. I also
knew that his visit was concerned somehow with the future welfare of little
Jamie, Gladys' seven-year-old brother. More than this, indeed, I never knew,
and this missing link makes my story in a fashion incoherent--an important bit
of the strange puzzle left out. I only gathered that the visit of Uncle Frank
was of a condescending nature, that Jamie was told he must be upon his very
best behavior to make a good impression, and that Jamie, who had never seen his
uncle, dreaded him horribly already in advance. Then, trailing thinly through
the dying crunch of the carriage wheels this sultry afternoon, I heard the curious
little wail of the child's crying, with the effect, wholly unaccountable, that
every nerve in my body shot its bolt electrically, bringing me to my feet with
a tingling of unequivocal alarm. Positively, the water ran into my eyes. I
recalled his white distress that morning when told that Uncle Frank was
motoring down for tea and that he was to be "very nice indeed" to
him. It had gone into me like a knife. All through the day, indeed, had run
this nightmare quality of terror and vision.
"The man with the 'normous face?" he
had asked in a little voice of awe, and then gone speechless from the room in
tears that no amount of soothing management could calm. That was all I saw; and
what he meant by "the 'normous face" gave me only a sense of vague
presentiment. But it came as anticlimax somehow--a sudden revelation of the
mystery and excitement that pulsed beneath the quiet of the stifling summer
day. I feared for him. For of all that commonplace household I loved Jamie
best, though professionally I had nothing to do with him. He was a high-strung,
ultra-sensitive child, and it seemed to me that no one understood him, least of
all his honest, tender-hearted parents; so that his little wailing voice
brought me from my bed to the window in a moment like a call for help.
The haze of June lay over that big garden like a
blanket; the wonderful flowers, which were Mr. Frene's delight, hung
motionless; the lawns, so soft and thick, cushioned all other sounds; only the
limes and huge clumps of guelder roses hummed with bees. Through this muted
atmosphere of heat and haze the sound of the child's crying floated faintly to
my ears--from a distance. Indeed, I wonder now that I heard it at all, for the
next moment I saw him down beyond the garden, standing in his white sailor suit
alone, two hundred yards away. He was down by the ugly patch where nothing
grew--the Forbidden Corner. A faintness then came over me at once, a faintness
as of death, when I saw him there of all places--where he never was allowed to
go, and where, moreover, he was usually too terrified to go. To see him
standing solitary in that singular spot, above all to hear him crying there,
bereft me momentarily of the power to act. Then, before I could recover my
composure sufficiently to call him in, Mr. Frene came round the corner from the
Lower Farm with the dogs, and, seeing his son, performed that office for me. In
his loud, good-natured, hearty voice he called him, and Jamie turned and ran as
though some spell had broken just in time--ran into the open arms of his fond
but uncomprehending father, who carried him indoors on his shoulder, while
asking "what all this hubbub was about?" And, at their heels, the
tailless sheep-dogs followed, barking loudly, and performing what Jamie called
their "Gravel Dance," because they ploughed up the moist, rolled
gravel with their feet.
I stepped back swiftly from the window lest I
should be seen. Had I witnessed the saving of the child from fire or drowning
the relief could hardly have been greater. Only Mr. Frene, I felt sure, would
not say and do the right thing quite. He would protect the boy from his own
vain imaginings, yet not with the explanation that could really heal. They
disappeared behind the rose trees, making for the house. I saw no more till
later, when Mr. Frene, senior, arrived.
To describe the ugly patch as
"singular" is hard to justify, perhaps, yet some such word is what
the entire family sought, though never--oh, never!--used. To Jamie and myself,
though equally we never mentioned it, that treeless, flowerless spot was more
than singular. It stood at the far end of the magnificent rose garden, a bald,
sore place, where the black earth showed uglily in winter, almost like a piece
of dangerous bog, and in summer baked and cracked with fissures where green lizards
shot their fire in passing. In contrast to the rich luxuriance of death amid
life, a center of disease that cried for healing lest it spread. But it never
did spread. Behind it stood the thick wood of silver birches and, glimmering
beyond, the orchard meadow, where the lambs played.
The gardeners had a very simple explanation of
its barrenness--that the water all drained off it owing to the lie of the
slopes immediately about it, holding no remnant to keep the soil alive. I
cannot say. It was Jamie--Jamie who felt its spell and haunted it, who spent
whole hours there, even while afraid, and for whom it was finally labelled
"strictly out of bounds" because it stimulated his already big
imagination, not wisely but too darkly--it was Jamie who buried ogres there and
heard it crying in an earthy voice, swore that it shook its surface sometimes
while he watched it, and secretly gave it food in the form of birds or mice or
rabbits he found dead upon his wanderings. And it was Jamie who put so
extraordinarily into words the feeling that the horrid spot had given me from
the moment I first saw it.
"It's bad, Miss Gould," he told me.
"But, Jamie, nothing in Nature is
bad--exactly; only different from the rest sometimes."
"Miss Gould, if you please, then it's empty.
It's not fed. It's dying because it can't get the food it wants."
And when I stared into the little pale face
where the eyes shone so dark and wonderful, seeking within myself for the right
thing to say to him, he added, with an emphasis and conviction that made me
suddenly turn cold: "Miss Gould"--he always used my name like this in
all his sentences--"it's hungry, don't you see? But I know what would make
it feel all right."
Only the conviction of an earnest child,
perhaps, could have made so outrageous a suggestion worth listening to for an
instant; but for me, who felt that things an imaginative child believed were
important, it came with a vast disquieting shock of reality. Jamie, in this
exaggerated way, had caught at the edge of a shocking fact--a hint of dark,
undiscovered truth had leaped into that sensitive imagination. Why there lay
horror in the words I cannot say, but I think some power of darkness trooped
across the suggestion of that sentence at the end, "I know what would make
it feel all right." I remember that I shrank from asking explanation.
Small groups of other words, veiled fortunately by his silence, gave life to an
unspeakable possibility that hitherto had lain at the back of my own
consciousness. The way it sprang to life proves, I think, that my mind already
contained it. The blood rushed from my heart as I listened. I remember that my
knees shook. Jamie's idea was--had been all along--my own as well.
And now, as I lay down on my bed and thought
about it all, I understood why the coming of his uncle involved somehow an
experience that wrapped terror at its heart. With a sense of nightmare
certainty that left me too weak to resist the preposterous idea, too shocked,
indeed, to argue or reason it away, this certainty came with its full, black
blast of conviction; and the only way I can put it into words, since nightmare
horror really is not properly tellable at all, seems this: that there was
something missing in that dying patch of garden; something lacking that it ever
searched for; something, once found and taken, that would turn it rich and
living as the rest; more--that there was some living person who could do this
for it. Mr. Frene, senior, in a word, "Uncle Frank," was this person
who out of his abundant life could supply the lack--unwittingly.
For this connection between the dying, empty
patch and the person of this vigorous, wealthy, and successful man had already
lodged itself in my subconsciousness before I was aware of it. Clearly it must
have lain there all along, though hidden. Jamie's words, his sudden pallor, his
vibrating emotion of fearful anticipation had developed the plate, but it was
his weeping alone there in the Forbidden Corner that had printed it. The
photograph shone framed before me in the air. I hid my eyes. But for the
redness--the charm of my face goes to pieces unless my eyes are clear--I could
have cried. Jamie's words that morning about the "'normous face" came
back upon me like a battering-ram.
Mr. Frene, senior, had been so frequently the
subject of conversation in the family since I came, I had so often heard him
discussed, and had then read so much about him in the papers--his energy, his
philanthropy, his success with everything he laid his hand to--that a picture
of the man had grown complete within me. I knew him as he was--within; or, as
my sister would have said--clairvoyantly. And the only time I saw him (when I
took Gladys to a meeting where he was chairman, and later felt his atmosphere
and presence while for a moment he patronizingly spoke with her) had justified
the portrait I had drawn. The rest, you may say, was a woman's wild imagining;
but I think rather it was that kind of divining intuition which women share
with children. If souls could be made visible, I would stake my life upon the truth
and accuracy of my portrait.
For this Mr. Frene was a man who drooped alone,
but grew vital in a crowd--because he used their vitality. He was a supreme,
unconscious artist in the science of taking the fruits of others' work and
living--for his own advantage. He vampired, unknowingly no doubt, every one
with whom he came in contact; left them exhausted, tired, listless. Others fed
him, so that while in a full room he shone, alone by himself and with no life
to draw upon he languished and declined. In the man's immediate neighborhood
you felt his presence draining you; he took your ideas, your strength, your
very words, and later used them for his own benefit and aggrandizement. Not
evilly, of course; the man was good enough; but you felt that he was dangerous
owing to the facile way he absorbed into himself all loose vitality that was to
be had. His eyes and voice and presence devitalized you. Life, it seemed, not
highly organized enough to resist, must shrink from his too near approach and
hide away for fear of being appropriated, for fear, that is, of--death.
Jamie, unknowingly, put in the finishing touch
to my unconscious portrait. The man carried about with him some silent,
compelling trick of drawing out all your reserves--then swiftly pocketing them.
At first you would be conscious of taut resistance; this would slowly shade off
into weariness; the will would become flaccid; then you either moved away or
yielded--agreed to all he said with a sense of weakness pressing ever closer
upon the edges of collapse. With a male antagonist it might be different, but
even then the effort of resistance would generate force that he absorbed and
not the other. He never gave out. Some instinct taught him how to protect
himself from that. To human beings, I mean, he never gave out. This time it was
a very different matter. He had no more chance than a fly before the wheels of
a huge--what Jamie used to call--"attraction" engine.
So this was how I saw him--a great human sponge,
crammed and soaked with the life, or proceeds of life, absorbed from
others--stolen. My idea of a human vampire was satisfied. He went about
carrying these accumulations of the life of others. In this sense his
"life" was not really his own. For the same reason, I think, it was
not so fully under his control as he imagined.
And in another hour this man would be here. I
went to the window. My eye wandered to the empty patch, dull black there amid
the rich luxuriance of the garden flowers. It struck me as a hideous bit of
emptiness yawning to be filled and nourished. The idea of Jamie playing round
its bare edge was loathsome. I watched the big summer clouds above, the
stillness of the afternoon, the haze. The silence of the overheated garden was
oppressive. I had never felt a day so stifling, motionless. It lay there
waiting. The household, too, was waiting--waiting for the coming of Mr. Frene
from London in his big motor-car.
And I shall never forget the sensation of icy
shrinking and distress with which I heard the rumble of the car. He had
arrived. Tea was all ready on the lawn beneath the lime trees, and Mrs. Frene
and Gladys, back from their drive, were sitting in wicker chairs. Mr. Frene,
junior, was in the hall to meet his brother, but Jamie, as I learned
afterwards, had shown such hysterical alarm, offered such bold resistance, that
it had been deemed wiser to keep him in his room. Perhaps, after all, his
presence might not be necessary. The visit clearly had to do with something on
the uglier side of life--money, settlements, or what not; I never knew exactly;
only that his parents were anxious, and that Uncle Frank had to be propitiated.
It does not matter. That has nothing to do with the affair. What has to do with
it--or I should not be telling the story--is that Mrs. Frene sent for me to come
down "in my nice white dress, if I didn't mind," and that I was
terrified, yet pleased, because it meant that a pretty face would be considered
a welcome addition to the visitor's landscape. Also, most odd it was, I felt my
presence was somehow inevitable, that in some way it was intended that I should
witness what I did witness. And the instant I came upon the lawn--I hesitate to
set it down, it sounds so foolish, disconnected--I could have sworn, as my eyes
met his, that a kind of sudden darkness came, taking the summer brilliance out
of everything, and that it was caused by troops of small black horses that
raced about us from his person--to attack.
After a first momentary approving glance he took
no further notice of me. The tea and talk went smoothly; I helped to pass the
plates and cups, filling in pauses with little undertalk to Gladys. Jamie was
never mentioned. Outwardly all seemed well, but inwardly everything was
awful--skirting the edge of things unspeakable, and so charged with danger that
I could not keep my voice from trembling when I spoke.
I watched his hard, bleak face; I noticed how
thin he was, and the curious, oily brightness of his steady eyes. They did not
glitter, but they drew you with a sort of soft, creamy shine like Eastern eyes.
And everything he said or did announced what I may dare to call the suction of
his presence. His nature achieved this result automatically. He dominated us
all, yet so gently that until it was accomplished no one noticed it.
Before five minutes had passed, however, I was
aware of one thing only. My mind focussed exclusively upon it, and so vividly
that I marvelled the others did not scream, or run, or do something violent to
prevent it. And it was this; that, separated merely by some dozen yards or so,
this man, vibrating with the acquired vitality of others, stood within easy
reach of that spot of yawning emptiness, waiting and eager to be filled. Earth
scented her prey.
These two active "centers" were within
fighting distance; he so thin, so hard, so keen, yet really spreading large
with the loose "surround" of others' life he had appropriated, so
practiced and triumphant; that other so patient, deep, with so mighty a draw of
the whole earth behind it, and--ugh!--so obviously aware that its opportunity
at last had come.
I saw it all as plainly as though I watched two
great animals prepare for battle, both unconsciously; yet in some inexplicable
way I saw it, of course, within me, and not externally. The conflict would be
hideously unequal. Each side had already sent out emissaries, how long before I
could not tell, for the first evidence he gave that something was going wrong
with him was when his voice grew suddenly confused, he missed his words, and
his lips trembled a moment and turned flabby. The next second his face betrayed
that singular and horrid change, growing somehow loose about the bones of the
cheek, and larger, so that I remembered Jamie's miserable phrase. The
emissaries of the two kingdoms, the human and the vegetable, had met, I make it
out, in that very second. For the first time in his long career of battening on
others, Mr. Frene found himself pitted against a vaster kingdom than he knew
and, so finding, shook inwardly in that little part that was his definite
actual self. He felt the huge disaster coming.
"Yes, John," he was saying, in his
drawling, self-congratulating voice, "Sir George gave me that car--gave it
to me as a present. Wasn't it char--?" and then broke off abruptly,
stammered, drew breath, stood up, and looked uneasily about him. For a second
there was a gaping pause. It was like the click which starts some huge
machinery moving--that instant's pause before it actually starts. The whole
thing, indeed, then went with the rapidity of machinery running down and beyond
control. I thought of a giant dynamo working silently and invisible.
"What's that?" he cried, in a soft
voice charged with alarm. "What's that horrid place? And someone's crying
there--who is it?"
He pointed to the empty patch. Then, before
anyone could answer, he started across the lawn towards it, going every minute
faster. Before anyone could move he stood upon the edge. He leaned
over--peering down into it.
It seemed a few hours passed, but really they
were seconds, for time is measured by the quality and not the quantity of
sensations it contains. I saw it all with merciless, photographic detail,
sharply etched amid the general confusion. Each side was intensely active, but
only one side, the human, exerted all its force--in resistance. The other
merely stretched out a feeler, as it were, from its vast, potential strength;
no more was necessary. It was such a soft and easy victory. Oh, it was rather
pitiful! There was no bluster or great effort, on one side at least. Close by
his side I witnessed it, for I, it seemed, alone had moved and followed him. No
one else stirred, though Mrs. Frene clattered noisily with the cups, making
some sudden impulsive gesture with her hands, and Gladys, I remember, gave a
cry--it was like a little scream--"Oh, mother, it's the heat, isn't
it?" Mr. Frene, her father, was speechless, pale as ashes.
But the instant I reached his side, it became
clear what had drawn me there thus instinctively. Upon the other side, among
the silver birches, stood little Jamie. He was watching. I experienced--for
him--one of those moments that shake the heart; a liquid fear ran all over me,
the more effective because unintelligible really. Yet I felt that if I could
know all, and what lay actually behind, my fear would be more than justified;
that the thing was awful, full of awe.
And then it happened--a truly wicked sight--like
watching a universe in action, yet all contained within a small square foot of
space. I think he understood vaguely that if someone could only take his place
he might be saved, and that was why, discerning instinctively the easiest
substitute within reach, he saw the child and called aloud to him across the
empty patch, "James, my boy, come here!"
His voice was like a thin report, but somehow
flat and lifeless, as when a rifle misses fire, sharp, yet weak; it had no
"crack" in it. It was really supplication. And, with amazement, I
heard my own ring out imperious and strong, though I was not conscious of
saying it, "Jamie, don't move. Stay where you are!" But Jamie, the
little child, obeyed neither of us. Moving up nearer to the edge, he stood
there--laughing! I heard that laughter, but could have sworn it did not come
from him. The empty, yawning patch gave out that sound.
Mr. Frene turned sideways, throwing up his arms.
I saw his hard, bleak face grow somehow wider, spread through the air, and
downwards. A similar thing, I saw, was happening at the same time to his entire
person, for it drew out into the atmosphere in a stream of movement. The face
for a second made me think of those toys of green india rubber that children
pull. It grew enormous. But this was an external impression only. What actually
happened, I clearly understood, was that all this vitality and life he had
transferred from others to himself for years was now in turn being taken from
him and transferred--elsewhere.
One moment on the edge he wobbled horribly, then
with that queer sideways motion, rapid yet ungainly, he stepped forward into
the middle of the patch and fell heavily upon his face. His eyes, as he
dropped, faded shockingly, and across the countenance was written plainly what
I can only call an expression of destruction. He looked utterly destroyed. I
caught a sound--from Jamie?--but this time not of laughter. It was like a gulp;
it was deep and muffled and it dipped away into the earth. Again I thought of a
troop of small black horses galloping away down a subterranean passage beneath
my feet--plunging into the depths--their tramping growing fainter and fainter
into buried distance. In my nostrils was a pungent smell of earth.
And then--all passed. I came back into myself.
Mr. Frene, junior, was lifting his brother's head from the lawn where he had
fallen from the heat, close beside the tea-table. He had never really moved
from there. And Jamie, I learned afterwards, had been the whole time asleep
upon his bed upstairs, worn out with his crying and unreasoning alarm. Gladys
came running out with cold water, sponge and towel, brandy too--all kinds of
things. "Mother, it was the heat, wasn't it?" I heard her whisper,
but I did not catch Mrs. Frene's reply. From her face it struck me that she was
bordering on collapse herself. Then the butler followed, and they just picked
him up and carried him into the house. He recovered even before the doctor
came.
But the queer thing to me is that I was
convinced the others all had seen what I saw, only that no one said a word
about it; and to this day no one has said a word. And that was, perhaps, the
most horrid part of all.
From that day to this I have scarcely heard a
mention of Mr. Frene, senior. It seemed as if he dropped suddenly out of life.
The papers never mentioned him. His activities ceased, as it were. His
after-life, at any rate, became singularly ineffective. Certainly he achieved
nothing worth public mention. But it may be only that, having left the employ
of Mrs. Frene, there was no particular occasion for me to hear anything.
The after-life of that empty patch of garden,
however, was quite otherwise. Nothing, so far as I know, was done to it by
gardeners, or in the way of draining it or bringing in new earth, but even
before I left in the following summer it had changed. It lay untouched, full of
great, luscious, driving weeds and creepers, very strong, full--fed, and
bursting thick with life.
John Mudbury was on his way home from the shops,
his arms full of Christmas Presents. It was after six o'clock and the streets
were very crowded. He was an ordinary man, lived in an ordinary suburban flat,
with an ordinary wife and ordinary children. He did not think them ordinary,
but everybody else did. He had ordinary presents for each one, a cheap blotter
for his wife, a cheap air-gun for the boy, and so forth. He was over fifty,
bald, in an office, decent in mind and habits, of uncertain opinions, uncertain
politics, and uncertain religion. Yet he considered himself a decided, positive
gentleman, quite unaware that the morning newspaper determined his opinions for
the day. He just lived--from day to day. Physically, he was fit enough, except
for a weak heart (which never troubled him); and his summer holiday was bad
golf, while the children bathed and his wife read Garvice on the sands. Like
the majority of men, he dreamed idly of the past, muddled away the present, and
guessed vaguely--after imaginative reading on occasions--at the future.
'I'd like to survive all right,' he said,
'provided it's better than this,' surveying his wife and children, and thinking
of his daily toil. 'Otherwise--!' and he shrugged his shoulders as a brave man
should.
He went to church regularly. But nothing in
church convinced him that he did survive, just as nothing in church enticed him
into hoping that he would. On the other hand, nothing in life persuaded him
that he didn't, wouldn't, couldn't. 'I'm an Evolutionist,' he loved to say to
thoughtful cronies (over a glass), having never heard that Darwinism had been
questioned.
And so he came home gaily, happily, with his
bunch of Christmas Presents 'for the wife and little ones,' stroking himself
upon their keen enjoyment and excitement. The night before he had taken 'the
wife' to see Magic at a select London theatre where the Intellectuals went--and
had been extraordinarily stirred. He had gone questioningly, yet expecting
something out of the common. 'It's not musical,' he warned her, 'nor farce, nor
comedy, so to speak'; and in answer to her question as to what the critics had
said, he had wriggled, sighed, and put his gaudy neck-tie straight four times
in quick succession. For no Man in the Street, with any claim to self-respect,
could be expected to understand what the critics had said, even if he
understood the Play. And John had answered truthfully: 'Oh, they just said
things. But the theatre's always full--and that's the only test.'
And just now, as he crossed the crowded Circus
to catch his 'bus, it chanced that his mind (having glimpsed an advertisement)
was full of this particular Play, or rather, of the effect it had produced upon
him at the time. For it had thrilled him--inexplicably: with its marvellous
speculative hint, its big audacity, its alert and spiritual beauty...Thought
plunged to find something--plunged after this bizarre suggestion of a bigger
universe, after this quasi-jocular suggestion that man is not the only--then
dashed full-tilt against a sentence that memory thrust beneath his nose:
'Science does not exhaust the Universe'--and at the same time dashed full-tilt
against destruction of another kind as well...!
How it happened he never exactly knew. He saw a
Monster glaring at him with eyes of blazing fire. It was horrible! It rushed
upon him. He dodged...Another Monster met him round the corner. Both came at
him simultaneously. He dodged again--a leap that might have cleared a hurdle
easily, but was too late. Between the pair of them--his heart literally in his
gullet--he was mercilessly caught. Bones crunched...There was a soft sensation,
icy cold and hot as fire.
Horns and voices roared. Battering-rams he saw,
and a carapace of iron...Then dazzling light...
'Always face the traffic!' he remembered with a
frantic yell--and, by some extraordinary luck, escaped miraculously on to the
opposite pavement.
There was no doubt about it. By the skin of his
teeth he had dodged a rather ugly death. First...he felt for his Presents--all
were safe. And then, instead of congratulating himself and taking breath, he
hurried homewards--on foot, which proved that his mind had lost control a
bit!--thinking only how disappointed the wife and children would have been
if--well, if anything had happened. Another thing he realised, oddly enough,
was that he no longer really loved his wife, but had only great affection for
her. What made him think of that, Heaven only knows, but he did think of it. He
was an honest man without pretence. This came as a discovery somehow. He turned
a moment, and saw the crowd gathered about the entangled taxi-cabs, policemen's
helmets gleaming in the lights of the shop windows...then hurried on again, his
thoughts full of the joy his Presents would give...of the scampering
children...and of his wife--bless her silly heart!--eyeing the mysterious
parcels...
And, though he never could explain how, he
presently stood at the door of the jail-like building that contained his flat,
having walked the whole three miles. His thoughts had been so busy and absorbed
that he had hardly noticed the length of weary trudge. 'Besides,' he reflected,
thinking of the narrow escape, 'I've had a nasty shock. It was a d--d near
thing, now I come to think of it...' He still felt a bit shaky and bewildered.
Yet, at the same time, he felt extraordinarily jolly and lighthearted.
He counted his Christmas parcels.., hugged himself
in anticipatory joy...and let himself in swiftly with his latchkey. 'I'm late,'
he realised, 'but when she sees the brown-paper parcels, she'll forget to say a
word. God bless the old faithful soul.' And he softly used the key a second
time and entered his flat on tiptoe...In his mind was the master impulse of
that afternoon--the pleasure these Christmas Presents would give his wife and
children...
He heard a noise. He hung up hat and coat in the
poky vestibule (they never called it 'hall') and moved softly towards the
parlour door, holding the packages behind him. Only of them he thought, not of
himself--of his family, that is, not of the packages. Pushing the door
cunningly ajar, he peeped in slyly. To his amazement the room was full of
people. He withdrew quickly, wondering what it meant. A party? And without his
knowing about it! Extraordinary!...Keen disappointment came over him. But, as
he stepped back, the vestibule, he saw, was full of people too.
He was uncommonly surprised, yet somehow not
surprised at all. People were congratulating him. There was a perfect mob of
them. Moreover, he knew them all--vaguely remembered them, at least. And they
all knew him.
'Isn't it a game?' laughed someone, patting him
on the back. 'They haven't the least idea...!'
And the speaker--it was old John Palmer, the
book-keeper at the office--emphasised the 'they.'
'Not the least idea,' he answered with a smile,
saying something he didn't understand, yet knew was right.
His face, apparently, showed the utter
bewilderment he felt. The shock of the collision had been greater than he
realised evidently. His mind was wandering...Possibly! Only the odd thing
was--he had never felt so clear-headed in his life. Ten thousand things grew
simple suddenly.
But, how thickly these people pressed about him,
and how--familiarly!
'My parcels,' he said, joyously pushing his way
across the throng. 'These are Christmas Presents I've bought for them.' He
nodded toward the room. 'I've saved for weeks--stopped cigars and billiards
and--and several other good things--to buy them.'
'Good man!' said Palmer with a happy laugh.
'It's the heart that counts.'
Mudbury looked at him. Palmer had said an
amazing truth, only--people would hardly understand and believe him...Would
they?
'Eh?' he asked, feeling stuffed and stupid,
muddied somewhere between two meanings, one of which was gorgeous and the other
stupid beyond belief.
'If you please, Mr. Mudbury, step inside. They
are expecting you,' said a kindly, pompous voice. And, turning sharply, he met
the gentle, foolish eyes of Sir James Epiphany, a director of the Bank where he
worked.
The effect of the voice was instantaneous from
long habit. 'They are,' he smiled from his heart, and advanced as from the
custom of many years. Oh, how happy and gay he felt! His affection for his wife
was real. Romance, indeed, had gone, but he needed her--and she needed him. And
the children--Milly, Bill, and Jean--he deeply loved them. Life was worth
living indeed!
In the room was a crowd, but--an astounding
silence. John Mudbury looked round him. He advanced towards his wife, who sat
in the corner arm-chair with Milly on her knee. A lot people talked and moved
about. Momentarily the crowd increased. He stood in front of them--in front of
Milly and his wife. And he spoke--holding out his packages. 'It's Christmas
Eve,' he whispered shyly, 'and I've--brought you something--something for
everybody. Look!' He held the packages before their eyes.
'Of course, of course,' said a voice behind him,
'but you may hold them out like that for a century. They'll never see them!'
'Of course they won't. But I love to do the old,
sweet thing,' replied John Mudbury--then wondered with a gasp of stark
amazement why he said it.
'I think' whispered Milly, staring round her.
'Well, what do you think?' her mother asked
sharply. 'You're always thinking something queer.'
'I think,' the girl continued dreamily, 'that
Daddy's already here.' She paused, then added with a child's impossible
conviction, 'I'm sure he is. I feel him.'
There was an extraordinary laugh. Sir James
Epiphany laughed. The others--the whole crowd of them--also turned their heads
and smiled. But the mother, thrusting the child away from her, rose up suddenly
with a violent start. Her face had turned to chalk. She stretched her arms out--into
the air before her. She gasped and shivered. There was anguish in her eyes.
'Look' repeated John, 'these are the Presents
that I brought.'
But his voice apparently was soundless. And,
with a spasm of icy pain, he remembered that Palmer and Sir James--some years
ago--had died.
'It's magic,' he cried, 'but--I love you,
Jinny--I love you--and--and I have always been true to you--as true as steel.
We need each other--oh, can't you see--we go on together--you and I--for ever
and ever--'
'Think,' interrupted an exquisitely tender
voice, 'don't shout! They can't hear you--now.'
And, turning, John Mudbury met the eyes of
Everard Minturn, their President of the year before.
Minturn had gone down with the Titanic.
He dropped his parcels then. His heart gave an
enormous leap of joy.
He saw her face--the face of his wife--look
through him.
But the child gazed straight into his eyes. She
saw him..The next thing he knew was that he heard something tinkling...far, far
away. It sounded miles below him--inside him--he was sounding himself--all
utterly bewildering--like a bell. It was a bell.
Milly stooped down and picked the parcels up.
Her face shone with happiness and laughter...
But a man came in soon after, a man with a
ridiculous, solemn face, a pencil, and a notebook.
He wore a dark blue helmet. Behind him came a
string of other men. They carried something...something...he could not see
exactly what it was. But, when he pressed forward through the laughing throng
to gaze upon it, he dimly made out two eyes, a nose, a chin, a deep red smear,
and a pair of folded hands upon and overcoat. A woman's form fell down upon
them then, and he heard soft sounds of children weeping strangely ...and other
sounds...as of familiar voices laughing...laughing gaily.
'They'll join us presently. It goes like a
flash...'
And, turning with great happiness in his heart,
he saw that Sir James had said it, holding Palmer by the arm as with some
natural yet unexpected love of sympathetic friendship.
'Come on,' said Palmer, smiling like a man who
accepts a gift in universal fellowship, 'let's help 'em. They'll never
understand...Still, we can always try.'
The entire throng moved up with laughter and
amusement. It was a moment of hearty, genuine life at last. Delight and Joy and
Peace were everywhere.
Then John Mudbury realised the truth--that he
was dead.
As he got out of the train at the little wayside
station he remembered the conversation as if it had been yesterday, instead of
fifteen years ago--and his heart went thumping against his ribs so violently
that he almost heard it. The original thrill came over him again with all its
infinite yearning. He felt it as he had felt it then--not with that tragic
lessening the interval had brought to each repetition of its memory. Here, in
the familiar scenery of its birth, he realised with mingled pain and wonder
that the subsequent years had not destroyed, but only dimmed it. The forgotten
rapture flamed back with all the fierce beauty of its genesis, desire at white
heat. And the shock of the abrupt discovery shattered time. Fifteen years
became a negligible moment; the crowded experiences that had intervened seemed
but a dream. The farewell scene, the conversation on the steamer's deck, were
clear as of the day before. He saw the hand holding her big hat that fluttered
in the wind, saw the flowers on the dress where the long coat was blown open a
moment, recalled the face of a hurrying steward who had jostled them; he even
heard the voices--his own and hers:
'Yes,' she said simply; 'I promise you. You have
my word. I'll wait--'
'Till I come back,' he interrupted.
Steadfastly she repeated his actual words, then
added: 'Here; at home--that is.'
'I'll come to the garden gate as usual,' he told
her, trying to smile. 'I'll knock. You'll open the gate--as usual--and come out
to me.'
These words, too, she attempted to repeat, but
her voice failed, her eyes filled suddenly with tears; she looked into his face
and smiled. It was just then that her little hand went up to hold the hat
on--he saw the very gesture still. He remembered that he was vehemently tempted
to tear his ticket up there and then, to go ashore with her, to stay in
England, to brave all opposition--when the siren roared its third horrible
warning...and the ship put out to sea.
Fifteen years, thick with various incident, had
passed between them since that moment. His life had risen, fallen, crashed,
then risen again. He had come back at last, fortune won by a lucky coup--at
thirty-five; had come back to find her, come back, above all, to keep his word.
Once every three months they had exchanged the brief letter agreed upon: 'I am
well; I am waiting; I am happy; I am unmarried. Yours--' For his youthful
wisdom had insisted that no 'man' had the right to keep 'any woman' too long
waiting; and she, thinking that letter brave and splendid, had insisted
likewise that he was free--if freedom called him. They had laughed over this
last phrase in their agreement. They put five years as the possible limit of
separation. By then he would have won success, and obstinate parents would have
nothing more to say.
But when five years ended he was 'on his uppers'
in a western mining town, and with the end of ten in sight those uppers, though
changed, were little better, apparently, than patched and mended. It was just
then, too, that the change which had been stealing over him first betrayed
itself. He realised it abruptly, a sense of shame and horror in him. The
discovery was made unconsciously: it disclosed itself. He was reading her
letter as a labourer on a Californian fruit farm: 'Funny she doesn't
marry--someone else!' he heard himself say. The words were out before he knew
it, and certainly before he could suppress them. They just slipped out,
startling him into the truth; and he knew instantly that the thought was
fathered in him by a hidden wish...
He was older. He had lived. It was a memory he
loved.
Despising himself in a contradictory
fashion--both vaguely and fiercely--he yet held true to his boyhood's promise.
He did not write and offer to release her as he knew they did in stories; he
persuaded himself that he meant to keep his word. There was this fine, stupid,
selfish obstinacy in his character. In any case, she would misunderstand and
think he wanted to set free--himself. 'Besides--I'm still--awfully fond of
her,' he asserted. And it was true; only the love, it seemed, had gone its way.
Not that another woman took it; he kept himself clean, held firm as steel. The
love, apparently, just faded of its own accord; her image dimmed, her letters had
ceased to thrill, then ceased to interest him.
Subsequent reflection made him realise other
details about himself. In the interval he had suffered hardships, had learned
the uncertainty of life that depends for its continuance on a little food, but
that food often hard to come by, and had seen so many others go under that he
held it more cheaply than of old. The wandering instinct, too, had caught him,
slowly killing the domestic impulse; he lost his desire for a settled place of
abode, the desire for children of his own, lost the desire to marry at all.
Also--he reminded himself with a smile--he had lost other things: the
expression of youth she was accustomed to and held always in her thoughts of
him, two fingers of one hand, his hair! He wore glasses, too. The
gentlemen-adventurers of life get scarred in those wild places where he lived.
He saw himself a rather battered specimen well on the way to middle age.
There was confusion in his mind, however, and in
his heart: a struggling complex of emotions that made it difficult to know
exactly what he did feel. The dominant clue concealed itself.
Feelings shifted. A single, clear determinant
did not offer. He was an honest fellow. 'I can't quite make it out,' he said.
'What is it I really feel? And why?' His motive seemed obscured. To keep the
flame alight for the long buffeting years was no small achievement; better men
had succumbed in half the time. Yet something in him still held fast to the
girl as with a band of steel that would not let her go entirely. Occasionally
there came strong reversions, when he ached with longing, yearning, hope; when
he loved her again; remembered passionately each detail of the far-off
courtship days in the forbidden rectory garden beyond the small, white garden
gate. Or was it merely the image and the memory he loved 'again'? He hardly
knew himself. He could not tell. That 'again' puzzled him. It was the wrong
word surely...He still wrote the promised letter, however; it was so easy;
those short sentences could not betray the dead or dying fires.
One day, besides, he would return and claim her.
He meant to keep his word.
And he had kept it. Here he was, this calm
September afternoon, within three miles of the village where he first had
kissed her, where the marvel of first love had come to both; three short miles
between him and the little white garden gate of which at this very moment she
was intently thinking, and behind which some fifty minutes later she would be
standing, waiting for...
He had purposely left the train at an earlier
station; he would walk the three miles in the dusk, climb the familiar steps,
knock at the white gate in the wall as of old, utter the promised words, 'I
have come back to find you,' enter, and--keep his word. He had written from
Mexico a week before he sailed; he had made careful, even accurate
calculations: 'In the dusk, on the sixteenth of September, I shall come and
knock,' he added to the usual sentences. The knowledge of his coming,
therefore, had been in her possession seven days. Just before sailing,
moreover, he had heard from her--though not in answer, naturally. She was well;
she was happy; she was unmarried; she was waiting.
And now, as by some magical process of
restoration--possible to deep hearts only, perhaps, though even to them quite
inexplicable--the state of first love had blazed up again in him. In all its
radiant beauty it lit his heart, burned unextinguished in his soul, set body
and mind on fire.
The years had merely veiled it. It burst upon
him, captured, overwhelmed him with the suddenness of a dream. He stepped from
the train. He met it in the face. It took him prisoner. The familiar trees and
hedges, the unchanged countryside, the 'fields-smells known in infancy,' all
these, with something subtly added to them, rolled back the passion of his
youth upon him in a flood. No longer was he bound upon what he deemed, perhaps,
an act of honourable duty; it was love that drove him, as it drove him fifteen
years before. And it drove him with the accumulated passion of desire long
forcibly repressed; almost as if, out of some fancied notion of fairness to the
girl, he had deliberately, yet still unconsciously, said 'No' to it; that she
had not faded, but that he had decided, 'I must forget her.' That sentence:
'Why doesn't she marry--someone else?' had not betrayed change in himself. It
surprised another motive: 'It's not fair to--her!'
His mind worked with a curious rapidity, but
worked within one circle only. The stress of sudden emotion was extraordinary.
He remembered a thousand things; yet, chief among them, those occasional
reversions when he had felt he 'loved her again.' Had he not, after all,
deceived himself? Had she ever really 'faded' at all? Had he not felt he ought
to let her fade--release her that way? And the change in himself?--that
sentence on the Californian fruit-farm--what did they mean? Which had been
true, the fading or the love? The confusion in his mind was hopeless, but, as a
matter of fact, he did not think at all: he only felt. The momentum, besides,
was irresistible, and before the shattering onset of the sweet revival he did
not stop to analyse the strange result. He knew certain things, and cared to
know no others: that his heart was leaping, his blood running with the heat of
twenty, that joy recaptured him, that he must see, hear, touch her, hold her in
his arms--and marry her. For the fifteen years had crumbled to a little thing,
and at thirty-five he felt himself but twenty, rapturously, deliciously in
love.
He went quickly, eagerly, down the little street
to the inn, still feeling only, not thinking anything. The vehement uprush of
the old emotion made reflection of any kind impossible. He gave no further
thought to those long years 'out there,' when her name, her letters, the very
image of her in his mind had found him, if not cold, at least without keen
response. All that was forgotten as though it had not been. The steadfast thing
in him, this strong holding to a promise which had never wilted, ousted the
recollection of fading and decay that, whatever caused them, certainly had
existed. And this steadfast thing now took command. This enduring quality in
his character led him. It was only towards the end of the hurried tea he first
received the singular impression--vague, indeed, but undeniably
persistent--that he was being led.
Yet, though aware of this, he did not pause to
argue or reflect. The emotional displacement in him, of course, had been more
than considerable: there had been upheaval, a change whose abruptness was even
dislocating, fundamental in a sense he could not estimate--shock. Yet he took
no count of anything but the one mastering desire to get to her as soon as
possible, knock at the small, white garden gate, hear her answering voice, see
the low wooden door swing open--take her. There was joy and glory in his heart,
and a yearning sweet delight. At this very moment she was expecting him. And
he--had come.
Behind these positive emotions, however, there
lay concealed all the time others that were of a negative character.
Consciously, he was not aware of them, but they were there; they revealed their
presence in various little ways that puzzled him. He recognised them
absent-mindedly, as it were; did not analyse or investigate them. For, through
the confusion upon his faculties, rose also a certain hint of insecurity that
betrayed itself by a slight hesitancy or miscalculation in one or two
unimportant actions. There was a touch of melancholy, too, a sense of something
lost. It lay, perhaps, in that tinge of sadness which accompanies the twilight
of an autumn day, when a gentler, mournful beauty veils a greater beauty that
is past. Some trick of memory connected it with a scene of early boyhood, when,
meaning to see the sunrise, he overslept, and, by a brief half-hour, was
just--too late. He noted it merely, then passed on; he did not understand it;
he hurried all the more, this hurry the only sign that it was noted. 'I must be
quick,' flashed up across his strongly positive emotions.
And, due to this hurry, possibly, were the
slight miscalculations that he made. They were very trivial. He rang for sugar,
though the bowl stood just before his eyes, yet when the girl came in he forgot
completely what he rang for--and inquired instead about the late trains back to
London. And, when the time-table was laid before him, he examined it without
intelligence, then looked up suddenly into the maid's face with a question
about flowers. Were there flowers to be had in the village anywhere? What kind
of flowers? 'Oh, a bouquet or a'--he hesitated, searching for a word that tried
to present itself, yet was not the word he wanted to make use of--'or a wreath--of
some sort?' he finished. He took the very word he did not want to take. In
several things he did and said, this hesitancy and miscalculation betrayed
themselves--such trivial things, yet significant in and elusive way that he
disliked. There was sadness, insecurity somewhere in them. And he resented
them, though aware of their existence only because they qualified his joy.
There was a whispered 'No' floating somewhere in the dusk. Almost--he felt
disquiet. He hurried, more and more eager to be off upon his journey--the final
part of it.
Moreover, there were other signs of an odd
miscalculation--dislocation, perhaps, properly speaking--in him. Though the inn
was familiar from his boyhood days, kept by the same old couple, too, he
volunteered no information about himself, nor asked a single question about the
village he was bound for. He did not even inquire if the rector--her
father--still were living.
And when he left he entirely neglected the
gilt-framed mirror above the mantelpiece of plush, dusty pampas-grass in
waterless vases on either side. It did not matter, apparently, whether he
looked well or ill, tidy or untidy. He forgot that when his cap was off the
absence of thick, accustomed hair must alter him considerably, forgot also that
two fingers were missing from one hand, the right hand, the hand that she would
presently clasp. Nor did it occur to him that he wore glasses, which must
change his expression and add to the appearance of the years he bore.
None of these obvious and natural things seemed
to come into his thoughts at all. He was in a hurry to be off. He did not
think. But though his mind may not have noted these slight betrayals with
actual sentences, his attitude, nevertheless, expressed them. This was, it
seemed, the feeling in him: 'What could such details matter to her now? Why,
indeed, should he give to them a single thought? It was himself she loved and
waited for, not separate items of his external, physical image.' As well think
of the fact that she, too, must have altered--outwardly. It never once occurred
to him. Such details were of To-day...He was only impatient to come to her
quickly, very quickly, instantly, if possible. He hurried.
There was a flood of boyhood's joy in him. He
paid for his tea, giving a tip that was twice the price of the meal, and set
out gaily and impetuously along the winding lane. Charged to the brim with a
sweet picture of a small, white garden gate, the loved face close behind it, he
went forward at a headlong pace, singing 'Nancy Lee' as he used to sing it
fifteen years before.
With action, then, the negative sensations hid
themselves, obliterated by the positive ones that took command. The former,
however, merely lay concealed; they waited. Thus, perhaps, does vital emotion,
overlong restrained, denied, indeed, of its blossoming altogether, take
revenge.
Repressed element in his psychic life asserted
themselves, selecting, as though naturally a dramatic form.
The dusk fell rapidly, mist rose in floating
strips along the meadows by the stream; the old, familiar details beckoned him
forwards, then drove him from behind as he went swiftly past them. He
recognised others rising through the thickening air beyond; they nodded,
peered, and whispered, sometimes they almost sang. And each added to his inner
happiness; each brought its sweet and precious contribution, and built it into
the reconstructed picture of the earlier, long-forgotten rapture. It was an
enticing and enchanted journey that he made, something impossibly blissful in
it, something, too, that seemed curiously irresistible.
For the scenery had not altered all these years,
the details of the country were unchanged, everything he saw was rich with dear
and precious association, increasing the momentum of the tide that carried him
along. Yonder was the stile over whose broken step he had helped her yesterday,
and there the slippery plank across the stream where she looked above her
shoulder to ask for his support; he saw the very bramble bushes where she
scratched her hand, a-blackberrying, the day before...and, finally, the
weather-stained signpost, 'To the Rectory.' It pointed to the path through the
dangerous field where Farmer Sparrow's bull provided such a sweet excuse for
holding, leading--protecting her. From the entire landscape rose a stream of recent
memory, each incident alive, each little detail brimmed with its cargo of fond
association.
He read the rough black lettering on the crooked
arm--it was rather faded, but he knew it too well to miss a single letter--and
hurried forward along the muddy track; he looked about him for a sign of Farmer
Sparrow's bull; he even felt in the misty air for the little hand, that he
might take and lead her into safety. The thought of her drew him on with such
irresistible anticipation that it seemed as if the cumulative drive of vanished
and unsated years evoked the tangible phantom almost. He actually felt it, soft
and warm and clinging in his own, that was no longer incomplete and mutilated.
Yet it was not he who led and guided now, but,
more and more, he who was being led. The hint had first betrayed its presence
at the inn; it now openly declared itself. It had crossed the frontier into a
positive sensation. Its growth, swiftly increasing all this time, had
accomplished itself; he had ignored, somehow, both its genesis and quick
development; the result he plainly recognised. She was expecting him, indeed,
but it was more than expectation; there was calling in it--she summoned him.
Her thought and longing reached him along that old, invisible track love builds
so easily between true, faithful hearts. All the forces of her being, her very
voice, came towards him through the deepening autumn twilight. He had not
noticed the curious physical restoration in his hand, but he was vividly aware
of this more magical alteration--that she led and guided him, drawing him ever
more swiftly towards the little, white garden gate where she stood at this very
moment, waiting. Her sweet strength compelled him; there was this new touch of
something irresistible about the familiar journey, where formerly had been
delicious yielding only, shy, tentative advance.
His footsteps hurried, faster and ever faster;
so deep was the allurement in his blood, he almost ran. He reached the narrow,
winding lane, and raced along it. He knew each bend, each angle of the holly
hedge, each separate incident of ditch and stone. He could have plunged
blindfold down it at top speed. The familiar perfumes rushed at him--dead
leaves and mossy earth and ferns and dock leaves, bringing the bewildering currents
of strong emotion in him all together as in a rising wave. He saw, then, the
crumbling wall, the cedars topping it with spreading branches, the chimneys of
the rectory. On his right bulked the outline of the old, grey church; the
twisted, ancient yews, the company of gravestones, upright and leaning, dotting
the ground like listening figures. But he looked at none of these. For, a
little beyond, he already saw the five rough steps of stone that led from the
lane towards a small, white garden gate. That gate at last shone before him,
rising through the misty air. He reached it.
He stopped dead a moment. His heart, it seemed,
stopped too, then took to violent hammering in his brain. There was a roaring
in his mind, and yet a marvellous silence--just behind it. Then the roar of
emotion died away. There was utter stillness. This stillness, silence, was all
about him. The world seemed preternaturally quiet.
But the pause was too brief to measure. For the
tide of emotion had receded only to come on again with redoubled power. He
turned, leaped forward, clambered impetuously up the rough stone steps, and
flung himself, breathless and exhausted, against the trivial barrier that stood
between his eyes and--hers. In his wild, half violent impatience, however, he
stumbled. That roaring, too, confused him. He fell forward, it seemed, for
twilight had merged in darkness, and he misjudged the steps, the distances he
yet knew so well. For a moment, certainly, he lay at full length upon the
uneven ground against the wall; the steps had tripped him. And then he raised
himself and knocked. His right hand struck upon the small, white garden gate.
Upon the two lost fingers he felt the impact. 'I am here,' he cried, with a
deep sound in his throat as though utterance was choked and difficult. 'I have
come back.'
For a fraction of a second he waited, while the
world stood still and waited with him. But there was no delay. Her answer came
at once: 'I am well...I am happy...I am waiting.'
And the voice was clear and marvellous as of old.
Though the words were strange, reminding him of something dreamed, forgotten,
lost, it seemed, he did not take special note of them. He only wondered that
she did not open instantly that he might see her. Speech could follow, but
sight came surely first! There was this lightning-flash of disappointment in
him. Ah, she was lengthening out the marvellous moment, as often and often she
had done before. It was to tease him that she made him wait. He knocked again;
he pushed against the unyielding surface. For he noticed that it was
unyielding; and there was a depth in the tender voice that he could not
understand.
'Open!' he cried again, but louder than before.
'I have come back!' And, as he said it, the mist struck cold against his face.
But her answer froze his blood.
'I cannot open.'
And a sudden anguish of despair rose over him;
the sound of her voice was strange; in it was faintness, distance as well as
depth. It seemed to echo. Something frantic seized him then--the panic sense.
'Open, open! Come out to me!' he tried to shout.
His voice failed oddly; there was no power in it. Something appalling struck
him between the eyes. 'For God's sake, open. I'm waiting here! Open, and come
out to me!'
The reply was muffled by distance that already
seemed increasing; he was conscious of freezing cold about him--in his heart:
'I cannot. You must come in to me.'
He knew not exactly then what happened, for the
cold grew dreadful and the icy mist was in his throat. No words would come. He
rose to his knees, and from his knees to his feet. He stooped. With all his
force he knocked again; in a blind frenzy of despair he hammered and beat
against the unyielding barrier of the small, white garden gate. He battered it
till the skin of his knuckles was torn and bleeding--the first two fingers of a
hand already mutilated. He remembered the torn and broken skin, for he noticed
in the gloom that stains upon the gate bore witness to his violence; it was not
till afterwards that he remembered the other fact--that the hand had already
suffered mutilation, long, long years ago. The power of sound was feebly in
him; he called aloud; there was no answer. He tried to scream, but the scream
was muffled in his throat before it issued properly; it was a nightmare scream.
As a last resort he flung himself bodily upon the unyielding gate, with such
precipitate violence, moreover, that his face struck against its surface.
From the friction, then, along the whole length
of his cheek he knew that the surface was not smooth. Cold and rough that surface
was; but also--it was not of wood. Moreover, there was writing on it he had not
seen before. How he deciphered it in the gloom, he never knew. The lettering
was deeply cut. Perhaps he traced it with his fingers; his right hand certainly
lay stretched upon it. He made out a name, a date, a broken verse from the
Bible, and strange words:
'Je suis la première au rendez-vous. Je vous
attends.' The lettering way sharply cut with edges that were new. For the date
was of a week ago; the broken verse ran, 'When the shadows flee away...' and
the small, white garden gate was unyielding because it was of--stone.
At the inn he found himself staring at a table
from which the tea things had not been cleared away. There was a railway
time-table in his hands, and his head was bent forwards over it, trying to
decipher the lettering in the growing twilight. Beside him, still fingering a
form, stood the serving-girl; her other hand held a brown tray with a running
dog painted upon its dented surface. It swung to and fro a little as she spoke,
evidently continuing a conversation her customer had begun. For she was giving
information--in the colourless, disinterested voice such persons use:
'We all went to the funeral, sir, all the
country people went. The grave was her father's--the family grave...' Then,
seeing that her customer was too absorbed in the time-table to listen further,
she said no more but began to pile the tea things on to the tray with noisy
clatter.
Ten minutes later, in the road, he stood
hesitating. The signal at the station just opposite was already down. The
autumn mist was rising. He looked along the winding road that melted away into
the distance, then slowly turned and reached the platform just as the London
train came in.
He felt very old--too old to walk three miles...
I missed the train at Evian, and, after infinite
trouble, discovered a motor that would take me, ice-axe and all, to Geneva. By
hurrying, the connection might be just possible. I telegraphed to Haddon to
meet me at the station, and lay back comfortably, dreaming of the precipices of
Haute Savoie. We made good time; the roads were excellent, traffic of the
slightest, when--crash!
There was an instant's excruciating pain, the
sun went out like a snuffed candle, and I fell into something as soft as a bed
of flowers and as yielding to my weight as warm water...
It was very warm. There was a perfume of
flowers. My eyes opened, focused vividly upon a detailed picture for a moment,
then closed again. There was no context--at least, none that I could
recall--for the scene, though familiar as home, brought nothing that I
definitely remembered. Broken away from any sequence, unattached to any past,
unaware even of my own identity, I simply saw this picture as a camera snaps it
off from the world, a scene apart, with meaning only for those who knew the
context:
The warm, soft thing I lay in was a bed--big,
deep, comfortable; and the perfume came from flowers that stood beside it on a
little table. It was in a stately, ancient chamber, with lofty ceiling and
immense open fireplace of stone; old-fashioned pictures--familiar portraits and
engravings I knew intimately--hung upon the walls; the floor was bare, with
dignified, carved furniture of oak and mahogany, huge chairs and massive
cupboards. And there were latticed windows set within deep embrasures of grey
stone, where clambering roses patterned the sunshine that cast their moving
shadows on the polished boards. With the perfume of the flowers there mingled,
too, that delicate, elusive odour of age, of wood, of musty tapestries on
spacious halls and corridors, and of chambers long unopened to the sun and air.
By the door that stood ajar far away at the end
of the room--very far away it seemed--an old lady, wearing a little cap of silk
embroidery, was whispering to a man of stern, uncompromising figure, who, as he
listened, bent down to her with a grave and even solemn face. A wide stone
corridor was just visible through the crack of the open door behind her.
The picture flashed, and vanished. The numerous
details I took in because they were well known to me already. That I could not
supply the context was merely a trick of the mind, the kind of trick that
dreams play. Darkness swamped vision again. I sank back into the warm, soft,
comfortable bed of delicious oblivion. There was not the slightest desire to
know; sleep and soft forgetfulness were all I craved.
But a little later--or was it a very great deal
later?--when I opened my eyes again, there was a thin trail of memory. I
remembered my name and age. I remembered vaguely, as though from some
unpleasant dream, that I was on the way to meet a climbing friend in the Alps
of Haute Savoie, and that there was need to hurry and be very active. Something
had gone wrong, it seemed. There had been a stupid, violent disaster, pain in
it somewhere, an accident. Where were my belongings? Where, for instance, was
my precious ice-axe--tried old instrument on which my life and safety depended?
A rush of jumbled questions poured across my mind. The effort to sort them hurt
atrociously...
A figure stood beside my bed. It was the same
old lady I had seen a moment ago--or was it a month ago, even last year
perhaps? And this time she was alone. Yet, though familiar to me as my own
right hand, I could not for the life of me attract her name. Searching for it
brought the pain again. Instead, I asked an easier question; it seemed the most
important somehow, though a feeling of shame came with it, as though I knew I
was talking nonsense:
'My ice-axe--is it safe? It should have stood
any ordinary strain. It's ash...' My voice failed absurdly, caught away by a
whisper half-way down my throat. What was I talking about? There was vile
confusion somewhere.
She smiled tenderly, sweetly, as she placed her
small, cool hand upon my forehead. Her touch calmed me as it always did, and
the pain retreated a little.
'All your things are safe,' she answered, in a
voice so soft beneath the distant ceiling it was like a bird's note singing in
the sky. 'And you are also safe. There is no danger now. The bullet has been
taken out and all is going well. Only you must be patient, and lie very still,
and rest.'
And then she added the morsel of delicious
comfort she knew quite well I waited for: 'Marion is near you all day long, and
most of the night besides. She rarely leaves you. She is in and out all day.'
I stared, thirsting for more. Memory put certain
pieces in their place again. I heard them click together as they joined. But
they only tried to join. There were several pieces missing They must have been
lost in the disaster. The pattern was too ridiculous.
'I ought to tel--telegraph' I began, seizing at
a fragment that poked its end up, then plunged out of sight again before I
could read more of it. The pieces fell apart; they would not hold together
without these missing fragments. Anger flamed up in me.
'They're badly made,' I said, with a petulance I
was secretly ashamed of; 'you have chosen the wrong pieces! I'm not a child--to
be treated--' A shock of heat tore through me, led by a point of iron, with
blasting pain.
'Sleep, my poor dear Felix, sleep,' she murmured
soothingly, while her tiny hand stroked my forehead, just in time to prevent
that pointed, hot thing entering my heart. 'Sleep again now, and a little later
you shall tell me their names, and I will send on horseback quickly--'
'Telegraph--' I tried to say, but the word went
lost before I could pronounce it. It was a nonsense word, caught up from
dreams. Thought fluttered and went out.
'I will send,' she whispered, 'in the quickest
possible way. You shall explain to Marion. Sleep first a little longer; promise
me to lie quite still and sleep. When you wake again, she will come to you at
once.'
She sat down gently on the edge of the enormous
bed, so that I saw her outline against the window where the roses clambered to
come in. She bent over me--or was it a rose that bent in the wind across the
stone embrasure? I saw her clear blue eyes--or was it two raindrops upon a
withered rose-leaf that mirrored the summer sky?
'Thank you,' my voice murmured with intense
relief, as everything sank away and the old-world garden seemed to enter by the
latticed windows. For there was a power in her way that made obedience sweet,
and her little hand, besides, cushioned the attack of that cruel iron so that I
hardly felt its entrance. Before the fierce heat could reach me, darkness again
put out the world...
Then, after a prodigious interval, my eyes once
more opened to the stately, old-world chamber that I knew so well; and this
time I found myself alone. In my brain was a stinging, splitting sensation, as
though Memory shook her pieces together with angry violence, pieces, moreover,
made of clashing metal. A degrading nausea almost vanquished me. Against my
feet was a heated metal body, too heavy for me to move, and bandages were tight
round my neck and the back of my head. Dimly, it came back to me that hands had
been about me hours ago, soft, ministering hands that I loved. Their perfume
lingered still. Faces and names fled in swift procession past me, yet without
my making any attempt to bid them stay. I asked myself no questions. Effort of
any sort was utterly beyond me. I lay and watched and waited, helpless and
strangely weak.
One or two things alone were clear. They came,
too, without the effort to think them:
There had been a disaster; they had carried me
into the nearest house; and--the mountain heights, so keenly longed for, were
suddenly denied me. I was being cared for by kind people somewhere far from the
world's high routes. They were familiar people, yet for the moment I had lost
the name. But it was the bitterness of losing my holiday climbing that chiefly
savaged me, so that strong desire returned upon itself unfulfilled. And,
knowing the danger of frustrated yearnings, and the curious states of mind they
may engender, my tumbling brain registered a decision automatically:
'Keep careful watch upon yourself,' it
whispered.
For I saw the peaks that towered above the
world, and felt the wind rise from the hidden valleys. The perfume of lonely
ridges came to me, and I saw the snow against the blue-black sky.
Yet I could not reach them. I lay, instead,
broken and useless upon my back, in a soft, deep, comfortable bed. And I
loathed the thought. A dull and evil fury rose within me. Where was Haddon? He
would get me out of it if any one could. And where was my dear, old trusted
ice-axe?
Above all, who were these gentle, old-world
people who cared for me?...And, with this last thought, came some fairy touch
of sweetness so delicious that I was conscious of sudden resignation--more,
even of delight and joy.
This joy and anger ran races for possession of
my mind, and I knew not which to follow: both seemed real, and both seemed
true. The cruel confusion was an added torture. Two sets of places and people
seemed to mingle.
'Keep a careful watch upon yourself,' repeated
the automatic caution.
Then, with returning, blissful darkness, came
another thing--a tiny point of wonder, where light entered in. I thought of a
woman...It was a vehement, commanding thought; and though at first it was very
close and real--as much of To-day as Haddon and my precious ice-axe--the next
second it was leagues away in another world somewhere. Yet, before the
confusion twisted it all askew, I knew her; I remembered clearly even where she
lived; that I knew her husband, too--had stayed with them in--in Scotland--yes,
in Scotland. Yet no word in this life had ever crossed my lips, for she was not
free to come. Neither of us, with eyes or lips or gesture, had ever betrayed a
hint to the other of our deeply hidden secret. And although for me she was the
woman, my great yearning--long, long ago it was, in early youth--had been
sternly put aside and buried with all the vigour nature gave me. Her husband
was my friend as well.
Only, now, the shock had somehow strained the
prison bars, and the yearning escaped for a moment full-fledged, and vehement
with passion long denied. The inhibition was destroyed. The knowledge swept
deliciously upon me that we had the right to be together, because we always
were together. I had the right to ask for her.
My mind was certainly a mere field of confused,
ungoverned images. No thinking was possible, for it hurt too vilely. But this
one memory stood out with violence. I distinctly remember that I called to her
to come, and that she had the right to come because my need was so peremptory.
To the one most loved of all this life had brought me, yet to whom I had never
spoken because she was in another's keeping, I called for help, and called, I
verily believe, aloud:
'Please come!' Then, close upon its heels, the
automatic warning again: 'Keep close watch upon yourself...!'
It was as though one great yearning had loosed
the other that was even greater, and had set it free.
Disappearing consciousness then followed the cry
for an incalculable distance. Down into subterraneans within myself that were
positively frightening it plunged away. But the cry was real; the yearning
appeal held authority in it as of command. Love gave the right, supplied the
power as well. For it seemed to me a tiny answer came, but from so far away
that it was scarcely audible. And names were nowhere in it, either in answer or
appeal.
'I am always here. I have never, never left
you!'
The unconsciousness that followed was not
complete, apparently. There was a memory of effort in it, of struggle, and, as
it were, of searching. Some one was trying to get at me. I tossed in a troubled
sea upon a piece of wreckage that another swimmer also fought to reach. Huge
waves of transparent green now brought this figure nearer, now concealed it,
but it came steadily on, holding out a rope. My exhaustion was too great for me
to respond, yet this swimmer swept up nearer, brought by enormous rollers that
threatened to engulf us both. The rope was for my safety, too. I saw hands
outstretched. In the deep water I saw the outline of the body, and once I even
saw the face. But for a second, merely. The wave that bore it crashed with a
horrible roar that smothered us both and swept me from my piece of wreckage. In
the violent flood of water the rope whipped against my feeble hands. I grasped
it. A sense of divine security at once came over me--an intolerable sweetness
of utter bliss and comfort, then blackness and suffocation as of the grave. The
white-hot point of iron struck me. It beat audibly against my heart. I heard
the knocking. The pain brought me up to the surface, and the knocking of my
dreams was in reality a knocking on the door. Some one was gently tapping.
Such was the confusion of images in my
painracked mind, that I expected to see the old lady enter, bringing ropes and
ice-axes, and followed by Haddon, my mountaineering friend; for I thought that
I had fallen down a deep crevasse and had waited hours for help in the cold,
blue darkness of the ice. I was too weak to answer, and the knocking for that
matter was not repeated.
I did not even hear the opening of the door, so
softly did she move into the room. I only knew that before I actually saw her,
this wave of intolerable sweetness drenched me once again with bliss and peace
and comfort, my pain retreated, and I closed my eyes, knowing I should feel
that cool and soothing hand upon my forehead.
The same minute I did feel it. There was a
perfume of old gardens in the air. I opened my eyes to look the gratitude I
could not utter, and saw, close against me--not the old lady, but the young and
lovely face my worship had long made familiar. With lips that smiled their
yearning and eyes of brown that held tears of sympathy, she sat down beside me
on the bed. The warmth and fragrance of her atmosphere enveloped me. I sank
away into a garden where spring melts magically into summer. Her arms were
round my neck. Her face dropped down, so that I felt her hair upon my cheek and
eyes. And then, whispering my name twice over, she kissed me on the lips.
'Marion,' I murmured.
'Hush! Mother sends you this,' she answered
softly. 'You are to take it all; she made it with her own hands. But I bring it
to you. You must be quite obedient, please.'
She tried to rise, but I held her against my
breast.
'Kiss me again and I'll promise obedience
always,' I strove to say. But my voice refused so long a sentence, and anyhow
her lips were on my own before I could have finished it. Slowly, very
carefully, she disentangled herself, and my arms sank back upon the coverlet. I
sighed in happiness. A moment longer she stood beside my bed, gazing down with
love and deep anxiety into my face.
'And when all is eaten, all, mind, all,' she smiled,
'you are to sleep until the doctor comes this afternoon. You are much better.
Soon you shall get up. Only, remember,' shaking her finger with a sweet
pretence of looking stern, 'I shall exact complete obedience. You must yield
your will utterly to mine. You are in my heart, and my heart must be kept very
warm and happy.'
Her eyes were tender as her mother's and I loved
the authority and strength that were so real in her. I remembered how it was
this strength that had sealed the contract her beauty first drew up for me to
sign. She bent down once more to arrange my pillows.
'What happened to--to the motor?' I asked
hesitatingly, for my thoughts would not regulate themselves. The mind presented
such incongruous fragments.
'The--what?' she asked, evidently puzzled. The
word seemed strange to her. 'What is that?' she repeated, anxiety in her eyes.
I made an effort to tell her, but I could not.
Explanation was suddenly impossible. The whole idea dived away out of sight. It
utterly evaded me. I had again invented a word that was without meaning. I was
talking nonsense. In its place my dream came up. I tried to tell her how I had
dreamed of climbing dangerous heights with a stranger, and had spoken another
language with him than my own--English, was it?--at any rate, not my native
French.
'Darling,' she whispered close into my ear, 'the
bad dreams will not come back. You are safe here, quite safe.' She put her
little hand like a flower on my forehead and drew it softly down the cheek.
'Your wound is already healing. They took the bullet out four days ago. I have
got it,' she added with a touch of shy embarrassment, and kissed me tenderly
upon my eyes.
'How long have you been away from me?' I asked,
feeling exhaustion coming back.
'Never once for more than ten minutes,' was the
reply. 'I watched with you all night. Only this morning, while mother took my
place, I slept a little. But, hush!' she said, with clear authority again; 'you
are not to talk so much. You must eat what I have brought, then sleep again.
You must rest and sleep. Good-bye, good-bye, my love. I shall come back in an
hour, and I shall always be within reach of your dear voice.'
Her tall, slim figure, dressed in the grey I
loved, crossed silently to the door. She gave me one more look--there was all the
tenderness of passionate love in it--and then was gone.
I followed instructions meekly, and when a
delicious sleep stole over me soon afterwards, I had forgotten utterly the ugly
dream that I was climbing dangerous heights with another man, forgotten as well
everything else, except that it seemed so many days since my love had come to
me, and that my bullet wound would after all be healed in time for our wedding
on the day so long, so eagerly waited for.
And when, several hours later, her mother came
in with the doctor--his face less grave and solemn this time--the news that I
might get up next day and lie a little in the garden, did more to heal me than
a thousand bandages or twice that quantity of medical instructions.
I watched them as they stood a moment by the
open door. They went out very slowly together, speaking in whispers. But the
only thing I caught was the mother's voice, talking brokenly of the great wars.
Napoleon, the doctor was saying in a low, hushed tone, was in full retreat from
Moscow, though the news had only just come through. They passed into the
corridor then, and there was a sound of weeping as the old lady murmured
something about her son and the cruelty of Heaven. 'Both will be taken from
me,' she was sobbing softly, while he stooped to comfort her; 'one in marriage,
and the other in death.' They closed the door then, and I heard no more.
Convalescence seemed to follow very quickly
then, for I was utterly obedient as I had promised, and never spoke of what
could excite me to my own detriment--the wars and my own unfortunate part in
them. We talked instead of our love, our already too-long engagement, and of
the sweet dream of happiness that life held waiting for us in the future. And,
indeed, I was sufficiently weary of the world to prefer repose to much
activity, for my body was almost incessantly in pain, and this old garden where
we lay between high walls of stone, aloof from the busy world and very
peaceful, was far more to my taste just then than wars and fighting.
The orchards were in blossom, and the winds of
spring showered their rain of petals upon the long, new grass. We lay, half in
sunshine, half in shade, beneath the poplars that lined the avenue towards the
lake, and behind us rose the ancient grey stone towers where the jackdaws
nested in the ivy and the pigeons cooed and fluttered from the woods beyond.
There was loveliness everywhere, but there was
sadness too, for though we both knew that the wars had taken her brother whence
there is no return, and that only her aged, failing mother's life stood between
ourselves and the stately property, there hid a sadness yet deeper than either
of these thoughts in both our hearts. And it was, I think, the sadness that
comes with spring. For spring, with her lavish, short-lived promises of eternal
beauty, is ever a symbol of passing human happiness, incomplete and always
unfulfilled. Promises made on earth are playthings, after all, for children.
Even while we make them so solemnly, we seem to know they are not meant to
hold. They are made, as spring is made, with a glory of soft, radiant blossoms
that pass away before there is time to realise them. And yet they come again
with the return of spring, as unashamed and glorious as if Time had utterly
forgotten.
And this sadness was in her too. I mean it was
part of her and she was part of it. Not that our love could change to pass or
die, but that its sweet, so-long-desired accomplishment must hold away, and,
like the spring, must melt and vanish before it had been fully known. I did not
speak of it. I well understood that the depression of a broken body can
influence the spirit with its poisonous melancholy, but it must have betrayed
itself in my words and gestures, even in my manner too. At any rate, she was
aware of it. I think, if truth be told, she felt it too. It seemed so painfully
inevitable.
My recovery, meanwhile, was rapid, and from
spending an hour or two in the garden, I soon came to spend the entire day. For
the spring came on with a rush, and the warmth increased deliciously. While the
cuckoos called to one another in the great beech-woods behind the chateau, we
sat and talked and sometimes had our simple meals or coffee there together, and
I particularly recall the occasion when solid food was first permitted me and
she gave me a delicate young bondelle, fresh caught that very morning in the
lake. There were leaves of sweet, crisp lettuce with it, and she picked the
bones out for me with her own white hands.
The day was radiant, with a sky of cloudless
blue, soft airs stirred the poplar crests; the little waves fell on the pebbly
beach not fifty metres away, and the orchard floor was carpeted with flowers
that seemed to have caught from heaven's stars the patterns of their yellow
blossoms.
The bees droned peacefully among the fruit
trees; the air was full of musical deep hummings.
My former vigour stirred delightfully in blood,
and I knew no pain, beyond occasional dull twinges in the head that came with a
rush of temporary darkness over my mind. The scar was healed, however, and the
hair had grown over it again. This temporary darkness alarmed her more than it
alarmed me. There were grave complications, apparently, that I did not know of.
But the deep-lying sadness in me seemed
independent of the glorious weather, due to causes so intangible, so far off
that I never could dispel them by arguing them away. For I could not discover
what they actually were. There was a vague, distressing sense of restlessness
that I ought to have been elsewhere and otherwise, that we were together for a
few days only, and that these few days I had snatched unlawfully from stern,
imperative duties. These duties were immediate, but neglected. In a sense I had
no right to this springtide of bliss her presence brought me. I was playing
truant somehow, somewhere. It was not my absence from the regiment; that I
know. It was infinitely deeper, set to some enormous scale that vaguely
frightened me, while it deepened the sweetness of the stolen joy.
Like a child, I sought to pin the sunny hours
against the sky and make them stay. They passed with such a mocking swiftness,
snatched momentarily from some big oblivion. The twilights swallowed our days
together before they had been properly tasted, and on looking back, each
afternoon of happiness seemed to have been a mere moment in a flying dream. And
I must have somehow betrayed the aching mood, for Marion turned of a sudden and
gazed into my face with yearning and anxiety in the sweet brown eyes.
'What is it, dearest?' I asked, 'and why do your
eyes bring questions?'
'You sighed,' she answered, smiling a little
sadly; 'and sighed so deeply. You are in pain again. The darkness, perhaps, is
over you?' And her hand stole out to meet my own. 'You are in pain?'
'Not physical pain,' I said, 'and not the
darkness either. I see you clearly,' and would have told her more, as I carried
her soft fingers to my lips, had I not divined from the expression in her eyes
that she read my heart and knew all my strange, mysterious forebodings in
herself.
'I know,' she whispered before I could find
speech, 'for I feel it too. It is the shadow of separation that oppresses
you--yet of no common, measurable separation you can understand. Is it not
that?'
Leaning over then, I took her close into my
arms, since words in that moment were mere foolishness. I held her so that she
could not get away; but even while I did so it was like trying to hold the
spring, or fasten the flying hour with a fierce desire. All slipped from me,
and my arms caught at the sunshine and the wind.
'We have both felt it all these weeks,' she said
bravely, as soon as I had released her, 'and we both have struggled to conceal
it. But now--' she hesitated for a second, and with so exquisite a tenderness
that I would have caught her to me again but for my anxiety to hear her further
words--'now that you are well, we may speak plainly to each other, and so
lessen our pain by sharing it.' And then she added, still more softly: 'You
feel there is "something" that shall take you from me--yet what it is
you cannot discover nor divine. Tell me, Felix--all your thought, that I in
turn may tell you mine.'
Her voice floated about me in the sunny air. I
stared at her, striving to focus the dear face more clearly for my sight. A
shower of apple blossoms fell about us, and her words seemed floating past me
like those passing petals of white. They drifted away. I followed them with
difficulty and confusion. With the wind, I fancied, a veil of indefinable
change slipped across her face and eyes.
'Yet nothing that could alter feeling,' I
answered; for she had expressed my own thought completely. 'Nor anything that
either of us can control. Only--perhaps, that everything must fade and pass
away, just as this glory of the spring must fade and pass away--'
'Yet leaving its sweetness in us,' she caught me
up passionately, 'and to come again, my beloved, to come again in every
subsequent life, each time with an added sweetness in it too!' Her little face
showed suddenly the courage of a lion in its eyes. Her heart was ever braver
than my own, a vigorous, fighting soul. She spoke of lives, I prattled of days
and hours merely.
A touch of shame stole over me. But that
delicate, swift change in her spread too. With a thrill of ominous warning I
noticed how it rose and grew about her. From within, outwards, it seemed to
pass--like a shadow of great blue distance. Shadow was somewhere in it, so that
she dimmed a little before my very eyes. The dreadful yearning searched and
shook me, for I could not understand it, try as I would. She seemed going from
me--drifting like her words and like the apple blossoms.
'But when we shall no longer be here to know
it,' I made answer quickly, yet as calmly as I could, 'and when we shall have
passed to some other place--to other conditions--where we shall not recognise
the joy and wonder. When barriers of mist shall have rolled between us--our
love and passion so made-over that we shall not know each other'--the words
rushed out feverishly, half beyond control--'and perhaps shall not even dare to
speak to each other of our deep desire--'
I broke off abruptly, conscious that I was
speaking out of some unfamiliar place where I floundered, helpless among
strange conditions. I was saying things I hardly understood myself.
Her bigger, deeper mood spoke through me,
perhaps.
Her darling face came back again; she moved
close within reach once more.
'Hush, hush!' she whispered, terror and love
both battling in her eyes. 'It is the truth, perhaps, but you must not say such
things. To speak them brings them closer. A chain is about our hearts, a chain
of fashioning lives without number, but do not seek to draw upon it with
anxiety or fear. To do so can only cause the pain of wrong entanglement, and
interrupt the natural running of the iron links.' And she placed her hand
swiftly upon my mouth, as though divining that the bleak attack of anguish was
again upon me with its throbbing rush of darkness.
But for once I was disobedient and resisted. The
physical pain, I realised vividly, was linked closely with this spiritual
torture. One caused the other somehow. The disordered brain received, though
brokenly, some hints of darker and unusual knowledge. It had stammered forth in
me, but through her it flowed easily and clear. I saw the change move more
swiftly then across her face.
Some ancient look passed into both her eyes.
And it was inevitable; I must speak out,
regardless of mere bodily well-being.
'We shall have to face them some day,' I cried,
although the effort hurt abominably, 'then why not now?' And I drew her hand
down and kissed it passionately over and over again. 'We are not children, to
hide our faces among shadows and pretend we are invisible. At least we have the
Present--the Moment that is here and now. We stand side by side in the heart of
this deep spring day. This sunshine and these flowers, this wind across the
lake, this sky of blue and this singing of the birds--all, all are ours now.
Let us use the moment that Time gives, and so strengthen the chain you speak of
that shall bring us again together times without number. We shall then,
perhaps, remember. Oh, my heart, think what that would mean--to remember!'
Exhaustion caught me, and I sank back among my
cushions. But Marion rose up suddenly and stood beside me. And as she did so,
another Sky dropped softly down upon us both, and I smelt again the incense of
old, old gardens that brought long-forgotten perfumes, incredibly sweet, but
with it an ache of far-off, passionate remembrance that was pain. This great
ache of distance swept over me like a wave.
I know not what grand change then was wrought
upon her beauty, so that I saw her defiant and erect, commanding Fate because
she understood it. She towered over me, but it was her soul that towered. The
rush of internal darkness in me blotted out all else. The familiar, present sky
grew dim, the sunshine faded, the lake and flowers and poplars dipped away.
Conditions a thousand times more vivid took their place. She stood out, clear
and shining in the glory of an undressed soul, brave and confident with an
eternal love that separation strengthened but could never, never change. The
deep sadness I abruptly realised, was very little removed from joy--because,
somehow, it was the condition of joy. I could not explain it more than that.
And her voice, when she spoke, was firm with a
note of steel in it; intense, yet devoid of the wasting anger that passion
brings. She was determined beyond Death itself, upon a foundation sure and
lasting as the stars. The heart in her was calm, because she knew. She was
magnificent.
'We are together--always,' she said, her voice
rich with the knowledge of some unfathomable experience, 'for separation is
temporary merely, forging new links in the ancient chain of lives that binds
our hearts eternally together.' She looked like one who has conquered the
adversity Time brings, by accepting it. 'You speak of the Present as though our
souls were already fitted now to bid it stay, needing no further fashioning.
Looking only to the Future, you forget our ample Past that has made us what we
are. Yet our Past is here and now, beside us at this very moment. Into the
hollow cups of weeks and months, of years and centuries, Time pours its flood
beneath our eyes. Time is our schoolroom...Are you so soon afraid? Does not
separation achieve that which companionship never could accomplish? And how
shall we dare eternity together of we cannot be strong in separation first?'
I listened while a flood of memories broke up
through film upon film and layer upon layer that had long covered them.
'This Present that we seem to hold between our
hands,' she went on in that earnest, distant voice, 'is our moment of sweet
remembrance that you speak of, of renewal, perhaps, too, of reconciliation--a
fleeting instant when we may kiss again and say good-bye, but with strengthened
hope and courage revived. But we may not stay together finally--we
cannot--until long discipline and pain shall have perfected sympathy and
schooled our love by searching, difficult tests, that it may last for ever.'
I stretched my arms out dumbly to take her in.
Her face shone down upon me, bathed in an older, fiercer sunlight. The change
in her seemed in an instant then complete. Some big, soft wind blew both of us
ten thousand miles away. The centuries gathered us back together.
'Look, rather, to the Past,' she whispered
grandly, 'where first we knew the sweet opening of our love. Remember, if you
can, how the pain and separation have made it so worth while to continue. And
be braver thence.'
She turned her eyes more fully upon my own, so
that their light persuaded me utterly away with her. An immense new happiness
broke over me. I listened, and with the stirrings of an ampler courage. It
seemed I followed her down an interminable vista of remembrance till I was
happy with her among the flowers and fields of our earliest pre-existence.
Her voice came to me with the singing of birds
and the hum of summer insects.
'Have you so soon forgotten,' she sighed, 'when
we knew together the perfume of the hanging Babylonian Gardens, or when the
Hesperides were so soft, to us in the dawn of the world? And do you not
remember,' with a little rise of passion in her voice, 'the sweet plantations
of Chaldea, and how we tasted the odour of many a drooping flower in the
gardens of Alcinous and Adonis, when the bees of olden time picked out the
honey for our eating? It is the fragrance of those first hours we knew together
that still lies in our hearts to-day, sweetening our love to this apparent
suddenness. Hence comes the full, deep happiness we gather so easily
To-day...The breast of every ancient forest is torn with storms and light...,
that's why it is so soft and full of little gardens. You have forgotten too
easily the glades of Lebanon, where we whispered our earliest secrets while the
big winds drove their chariots down those earlier skies...'
There rose an indescribable tempest of
remembrance in my heart as I strove to bring the pictures into focus; but words
failed me, and the hand I eagerly stretched out to touch her own, met only
sunshine and the rain of apple blossoms.
'The myrrh and frankincense,' she continued in a
sighing voice that seemed to come with the wind from invisible caverns in the
sky, 'the grapes and pomegranates--have they all passed from you, with the
train of apes and peacocks, the tigers and the ibis, and the hordes of
dark-faced slaves? And this little sun that plays so lightly here upon our
woods of beech and pine--does it bring back nothing of the old-time scorching
when the olive slopes, the figs and ripening cornfields heard our vows and
watched our love mature?...Our spread encampment in the Desert--do not these
sands upon our little beach revive its lonely majesty for you, and have you
forgotten the gleaming towers of Semiramis...or, in Sardis, those strange
lilies that first tempted our souls to their divine disclosure...?'
Conscious of a violent struggle between pain and
joy, both too deep for me to understand, I rose to seize her in my arms. But
the effort dimmed the flying pictures. The wind that bore her voice down the
stupendous vista fled back into the caverns whence it came. And the pain caught
me in a vice of agony so searching that I could not move a muscle. My tongue
lay dry against my lips. I could not frame a word of any sentence...
Her voice presently came back to me, but
fainter, like a whisper from the stars. The light dimmed everywhere; I saw no
more the vivid, shining scenery she had summoned. A mournful dusk instead crept
down upon the world she had momentarily revived.
'...we may not stay together,' I heard her
little whisper, 'until long discipline shall have perfected sympathy, and
schooled our love to last. For this love of ours is for ever, and the pain that
tries it is the furnace that fashions precious stones...'
Again I stretched my arms out. Her face shone a
moment longer in that forgotten fiercer sunlight, then faded very swiftly. The
change, like a veil, passed over it. From the place of prodigious distance
where she had been, she swept down towards me with such dizzy speed. As she was
To-day I saw her again, more and more.
'Pain and separation, then, are welcome,' I
tried to stammer, 'and we will desire them'--but my thought got no further into
expression than the first two words. Aching blotted out coherent utterance.
She bent down very close against my face. Her
fragrance was about my lips. But her voice ran off like a faint thrill of
music, far, far away. I caught the final words, dying away as wind dies in high
branches of a wood. And they reached me this time through the droning of bees
and of waves that murmured close at hand upon the shore.
'...for our love is of the soul and our souls
are moulded in Eternity. It is not yet, it is not now, our perfect
consummation. Nor shall our next time of meeting know it. We shall not even
speak...For I shall not be free...' was what I heard. She paused.
'You mean we shall not know each other?' I
cried, in an anguish of spirit that mastered the lesser physical pain.
I barely caught her answer:
'My discipline then will be in another's
keeping--yet only that I may come back to you...more perfect...in the end...'
The bees and waves then cushioned her whisper
with their humming. The trail of a deeper silence led them far away. The rush
of temporary darkness passed and lifted. I opened my eyes.
My love sat close beside me in the shadow of the
poplars. One hand held both my own, while with the other she arranged my
pillows and stroked my aching head. The world dropped back into a tiny scale
once more.
'You have had the pain again,' Marion murmured
anxiously, 'but it is better now. It is passing.' She kissed my cheek. 'You
must come in...'
But I would not let her go. I held her to me
with all the strength that was in me. 'I had it, but it's gone again. An awful
darkness came with it,' I whispered in the little ear that was so close against
my mouth. 'I've been dreaming,' I told her, as memory dipped away, 'dreaming of
you and me--together somewhere--in old gardens, or forests--where the sun
was--'
But she would not let me finish. I think, in any
case, I could not have said more, for thought evaded me, and any language of
coherent description was in the same instant beyond my power.
Exhaustion came upon me, that vile, compelling
nausea with it.
'The sun here is too strong for you, dear love,'
I heard her saying, 'and you must rest more. We have been doing too much these
last few days. You must have more repose.' She rose to help me move indoors.
'I have been unconscious then?' I asked, in the
feeble whisper that was all I could manage.
'For a little while. You slept, while I watched
over you.'
'But I was away from you! Oh, how could you let
me sleep, when our time together is so short?'
She soothed me instantly in the way she knew we
both loved so. I clung to her until she released herself again.
'Not away from me,' she smiled, 'for I was with
you in your dreaming.'
'Of course, of course you were'; but already I
knew not exactly why I said it, nor caught the deep meaning that struggled up
into my words from such unfathomable distance.
'Come,' she added, with her sweet authority
again, 'we must go in now. Give me your arm, and I will send out for the
cushions. Lean on me. I am going to put you back to bed.'
'But I shall sleep again,' I said petulantly,
'and we shall be separated.'
'We shall dream together,' she replied, as she
helped me slowly and painfully towards the old grey walls of the chiteau.
Half an hour later I slept deeply, peacefully,
upon my bed in the big stately chamber where the roses watched beside the
latticed windows.
And to say I dreamed again is not correct, for
it can only be expressed by saying that I saw and knew. The figures round the
bed were actual, and in life. Nothing could be more real than the whisper of
the doctor's voice--that solemn, grave-faced man who was so tall--as he said,
sternly yet brokenly, to some one: 'You must say good-bye; and you had better
say it now.' Nor could anything be more definite and sure, more charged with
the actuality of living, than the figure of Marion, as she stooped over me to
obey the terrible command. For I saw her face float down towards me like a
star, and a shower of pale spring blossoms rained upon me with her hair.
The perfume of old, old gardens rose about me as
she slipped to her knees beside the bed and kissed my lips--so softly it was
like the breath of wind from lake and orchard, and so lingeringly it was as
though the blossoms lay upon my mouth and grew into flowers that she planted
there.
'Good-bye, my love; be brave. It is only
separation.'
'It is death,' I tried to say, but could only
feebly stir my lips against her own.
I drew her breath of flowers into my mouth...and
there came then the darkness which is final.
The voices grew louder. I heard a man struggling
with an unfamiliar language. Turning restlessly, I opened my eyes--upon a
little, stuffy room, with white walls whereon no pictures hung. It was very
hot. A woman was standing beside the bed, and the bed was very short. I
stretched, and my feet kicked against the boarding at the end.
'Yes, he is awake,' the woman said in French.
'Will you come in? The doctor said you might see him when he woke. I think
he'll know you.' She spoke in French. I just knew enough to understand.
And of course I knew him. It was Haddon. I heard
him thanking her for all her kindness, as he blundered in. His French, if
anything, was worse than my own. I felt inclined to laugh. I did laugh.
'By Jove! old man, this is bad luck, isn't it?
You've had a narrow shave. This good lady telegraphed--'
'Have you got my ice-axe? Is it all right?' I
asked. I remembered clearly the motor accident--everything.
'The ice-axe is right enough,' he laughed,
looking cheerfully at the woman, 'but what about yourself? Feel bad still? Any
pain, I mean?'
'Oh, I feel all right,' I answered, searching
for the pain of broken bones, but finding none.
'What happened? I was stunned, I suppose?'
'Bit stunned, yes,' said Haddon. 'You got a
nasty knock on the head, it seems. The point of the axe ran into you, or
something.'
'Was that all?'
He nodded. 'But I'm afraid it's knocked our
climbing on the head. Shocking bad luck, isn't it?'
'I telegraphed last night,' the kind woman was
explaining.
'But I couldn't get there till this morning,'
Haddon said. 'The telegram didn't find me till midnight, you see.' And he
turned to thank the woman in his voluble, dreadful French. She kept a little
pension on the shores of the lake. It was the nearest house, and they had
carried me in there and got the doctor to me all within the hour. It proved
slight enough, apart from the shock.
It was not even concussion. I had merely been
stunned. Sleep had cured me, as it seemed.
'Jolly little place,' said Haddon, as he moved
me that afternoon to Geneva, whence, after a few days' rest, we went on into
the Alps of Haute Savoie, 'and lucky the old body was so kind and quick. Odd,
wasn't it?' He glanced at me.
Something in his voice betrayed he hid another
thought. I saw nothing 'odd' in it at all, only very tiresome.
'What's its name?' I asked, taking a shot at a
venture.
He hesitated a second. Haddon, the climber, was
not skilled in the delicacies of tact.
'Don't know its present name,' he answered,
looking away from me across the lake, 'but it stands on the site of an old
chateau--destroyed a hundred years ago--the Château de Bellerive.'
And then I understood my old friend's absurd
confusion. For Bellerive chanced also to be the name of a married woman I knew
in Scotland--at least, it was her maiden name, and she was of French
extraction.
THE END
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